Out of Place, Out of Time
by BluKoffee
Summary: Join us down the rabbit hole in a slice of life of a 1700s sailing ship, with a sexy hot capitán who has rippling muscles and a crush on this interesting and unusual girl from the modern world! Armando Salazar/OC
1. Chapter 1

****Warning** : blood, violence, language, abrupt left turns of the universe and sudden plot twists within, along with romance (hopefully), danger (definitely), and unexplained holes in space and time (only sometimes). Damsels in distress need not apply. Side note: the OC has anxiety and sometimes behaves animalistic to cope with extremely stressful situations, and if she had a wish that could be granted, it would be to become an Animagus. No research was done for this story (historical inaccuracies abound, I'm very sorry, I just don't have the time), and a few liberties have been taken. Okay, more than a few. Disclaimer, any references to anything not mine belong to their owners respectively (please don't come after me). Also, Armando Salazar belongs to Disney (as much as I'd like to borrow him for just a little while…) as well as associated characters of Pirates of the Caribbean. OC belongs to me. (As well as just a handful of other peoples in the story)**

 _So, before we start all this, I just wanna say this is my first fanfiction in the history of ever, but I have done some writing, nothing with characters that aren't mine, so here goes nothing... I got sucked into writing this because when I saw Salazar for the first time in the film, I instantly had a crush (seriously, it's always the fictional bad guys, every time, but can you blame me? Talk about yum...), and I was finding a serious lack of materials to feed my obsession. While I was inhaling another writer's fanfiction, I had a left a comment on their work and was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to write my idea..._ or else. _So, here we are, I'm bravely dipping my toe in the water and hoping it's not scalding hot. If anyone happens to stumble upon this and is kind enough to write a review, please be aware that I'm working a full-time job and have a_ lot _of things to take care of when I get home, so I'm very strained and exhausted and it takes forever for me to respond. But I do...eventually. Anyhoo, enough of the nitty gritty, time to get to the entertainment!_

* * *

Before I even opened my eyes, I realized two things; one, my head felt like it was about to split open like an overripe watermelon, and two, I was gonna throw up. Now.

I rolled over and my stomach revolted, sending burning acid boiling along my throat, out my mouth, even up my nose. Gagging and wheezing, I shakily raised myself to all fours, trying to hack out all the acid in my mouth and nose. I blearily blinked my eyes open and started slightly at the sight of wood and metal and grungy straw covering the floor. _What the fuck?_

My stomach clenched again and I started dryheaving, but nothing else was coming up. The damage was already done though, my eyes streaming from the pain of the acid through my nose. I collapsed on my side and a shudder went through me, the headache much, much worse than when I just woke. It pulsed with a nasty tempo in waves over my skull, my stomach trying to answer with more heaves.

I shivered again, trying to take stock of where I was. _Okay, so not my bedroom. Wooden walls, bars separating into cells. I'm in a cell?_

The small pot on the floor was when I started to become alarmed. I slowly rose up onto an elbow and tried to breathe in, somewhat of a challenge through the burned mucus membranes, but I managed to get the whiff of brine. And the nauseating rocking motion of the room began to make sickening sense.

I was on a boat.

On the ocean.

And if the woman a few cells down wearing a Regency-age dress was anything to go by…

I was a few centuries out of time to boot.

Uhm…what just happened.

The brief hope that this was just a seriously fucked-up prank flickered and died when I managed to rasp "Where are we?" to my cellmate.

She gave me a look like I was something that had squished under her shoe. _Excuse me, lady?_ "Refrain from speaking to me, commoner."

The lilting tones of a British accent, not to mention her seemingly ingrained holier-than-thou attitude said with finality that we were no longer in Kansas.

I huffed in dry amusement, then unable to take my pounding head anymore, I laid back down to wait to die. I recognized the pattern of pounding pulses. It was the type of headache I had the joy of experiencing when I got overheated. This one was a particularly lovely one, encompassing my entire skull and making me want to beg for the sweet, cool mercy of death. At least it cut out the pain in my mouth from the stomach acid. The cell was sweltering hot, even with the whiff of cool breeze coming in through the barred window. I could hear the distant shouts of what I guess were the sailors on the ship, but they were too muffled for me to make out any words or if it was even English. Eventually I gave in and fell into a light sleep. Maybe everything would be better when I woke.

After what seemed like forever and a day, the distance sound of boots on wood woke me. _Water or death?_ At this point, all-encompassing misery I felt made it difficult to have any more fucks to give. The nap hadn't helped at all. My stomach was constantly queasy and my head felt like I was laying on an anvil while someone was trying to pound my head flat. What I did note with little interest was that my cell was dark with shadows, the only light flickering from dim lanterns, and it eased my discomfort slightly. I had always liked nighttime better.

I lay on the floor, the dirty straw scratching my cheek as my breath rasped through my fiery throat. I'd long since given up on trying to ease the pain, and the headache couldn't possibly get any worse. The constant churn of nausea didn't help and the dizzying feel of motion sickness was just the fucking icing on the cake. The rate I was going, if I found something sharp, I was mighty tempted to just get it over with…

The boots pounded closer and the woman in the cell down seemed to shrink in on herself, no longer the overly proud peer of the realm as the owner of the boots made their way down the stairs and came into view. I groaned silently at the ratty, unwashed appearance of the man holding a small tray with two even smaller bowls and two thimbles of water. It didn't bode well for the kind of ship that we were on.

He let out a malicious chuckle as he went over to the lady's cell first. "Yu'r furst corse, m'ladi…" He cackled again as he slid the bowl of gruel and cup of water into her cell. "Th' cook's fines' rat-trap sup. N'joy!"

Moving over to my cell, he peered at me through the bars. "Ya a strange fish, ain't ya? Dunnow if ya gonna make't long 'nuff ta turn a coin."

With a sneer, he shoved the rest of the tray through the bars on the floor, then scurried off, leaving behind the disgusting stench of unwashed body and curdled onions.

 _Let me guess. Pirate ship. And the rat-trap soup has…_ I managed to pick myself up long enough to peer over the edge of the bowl. _Yup. Raw rat in it. At least they speak English, more or less._

I flicked out my tongue in disgust, glancing over to see Miss English doing the well-mannered equivalent. But the water was welcome, even if it was warm and tasted like it was used for more than drinking. I used a small amount to try and wash out my mouth, the faintly sickening feel of the continuous burn finally being relieved a little as I drank, grimacing as the oily feel of the water. My headache pulsed nastily before fading just a tad.

Not even bothering trying to choke down the soup, I moved backwards until I felt the feel of wood against my back, then laid down on my side again, trying desperately to ignore the constant up-down feel of the ship, my stomach sliding revoltingly from my throat down to my belly button to follow the waves. A shiver shook me again, even though the muggy heat hadn't died down in the slightest. Misery clung to the sticky air like a fly trapped in honey.

Closing my eyes only seemed to amplify the heavy feel of it, but I was tired, the heat, the pain, the nausea just too much for me to cope with without any form of escape. I'd sell a kidney and both my ovaries for my phone. Just something to stave away the boredom. I loathed boredom, it was the worst kind of torture for me…

"You. Girl."

I so did not want to deal with her right now. Not even bothering to respond, I tried to drift off.

"Girl. I know you can hear me. Answer me."

I snapped my eyes open, growling under my breath. "What," I barked sharply.

"Don't you speak to me like that. I have some questions for you."

Rolling my eyes, I scooted around so I could see her. Her dress, which must have cost an exorbitant amount of money, was greasy from the floor, and matched the dirt sullying her skin. She wasn't what I recalled the Regency regaled as a beauty, but she was still gorgeous, even with her mahogany hair as a rat's nest. I couldn't make out her eye color, but I could see she had clean, even features, nothing overly pronounced, but it made her quite pretty. If she'd had a different hair style, she'd look like an elf.

I suddenly started. I could see her face. Her features were sharp and defined, even from where I lay an entire cell away, yet I wore glasses for years up 'til yesterday, but I could see her as clearly as if I was wearing them. I reached up to touch my face to make sure, but no wire frame met my fingertips. My glasses were gone, but I could see perfectly fine without them.

 _Ooookaaaaay….I'm really happy, but at the same time, I'm really fucking freaked out._

"Why are you touching your face?"

 _So, whatever happened to bring me to this hellhole also fixed my vision. Uhm, thanks, but I'm not sure I'm willing to go through this to make up for it._ Outload, I just said, "I thought I had a cut. What do you want to ask me?"

My companion curled her lip in a sneer. "American. I shouldn't be surprised, considering your state of dress."

"What's wrong with my clothes? Everything's covered," I retorted, glancing down at myself, even though I knew it was extremely inappropriate for the timeline. Having read many a historical romance novel (a guilty pleasure, what me being a pessimistic romantic), I knew roughly what was considered proper and not. And wearing comfy boy shorts and a black T-shirt featuring a cute little monster holding a cookie tray and a caption that read "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies" (which also glowed in the dark), was not proper at all. However, I was much more relatively comfortable with the heat than she was. I knew she was melting under the layers of that dress.

"What's wrong- you're practically naked! How could your family let you about dressed like that? It's shameful!" she gasped, horrified.

I rolled my eyes again and propped myself against the bulkhead. "Look, you said you had some questions. Would you like to ask them, or can I try and get more sleep?" Modulating my speech so I didn't appear too out of place (although my code of dress seemed to have taken care of that), I sat upright and waited impatiently. I had a feeling that this one was going to be troublesome.

She harrumphed, but didn't go back to ignoring me. "Do you know anything that's going on? About where we're headed? Anything at all?"

 _Lady, if_ only _you knew…_ "I remember being in my bed, which was _not_ on a ship, fell asleep, and woke up in this cell."

She frowned, leaning back against her wall in an unladylike slouch. "So you don't know…but how…" she trailed off and stared at the floor, still frowning.

I perked up a little, my headache waning slightly as she distracted me from the miserable state I was in. "You know how I got here?"

Shaking her head, she continued to scowl, but it appeared to be more of a reflective expression than a disapproving one. "You were aboard the _Bountiful_ , a passenger vessel bound for the East Indies. A few days into our voyage, one of the cabin boys found you asleep in an empty cabin. Nothing would wake you and the ship's doctor declared you 'sleeping dead', which I believe is called coda?"

"Comatose, or _in_ a coma," I quietly corrected, not wanting to be rude, but not wanting her to retain the wrong information.

"Thank you," she imperiously nodded at me before continuing. "You were _comatose_ , and no one could determine how you got aboard, or what on this _earth_ you were dressed in, so we left you be. I believe the captain was under the impression that you were a witch, dressed as such and suddenly appearing aboard his ship, but he seemed more afraid of what you would do to them if you were indeed a witch and they imprisoned or executed you rather than leave you alone."

I shivered to think of how close I had come death whilst unconscious if what she said was true. Although, dying while asleep wasn't the worst way to go either, especially if you didn't know it was coming. I realized she was still speaking and quickly tuned back in.

"-and they were sailing colors. The captain informed me that the _Bountiful_ could hold her own against pirates and said I needed to wait in my cabin, but next thing I knew, we were being boarded, people were being slaughtered-" she broke off and quivered, her eyes squeezing shut as horror flickered across her face.

"And we were spared and imprisoned here, most likely to be sold into unpleasant circumstances," I finished for her, the reality sinking in that we were most likely going to be sold as slaves. Or at least I was. She might be held ransom, if whoever was in charge was in any way intelligent.

"I saw that they were going to kill you, and I told them that you were a highborn lady from a faraway country, one that made its riches in precious stones. I don't think they believed me, but they haven't killed you."

I narrowed my eyes. That seemed awfully selfless for a peer, especially in this day and age.

She was looking at me with a fairly expectant air. "I figured that if you were indeed a witch, you could use one of your spells to let us escape, or turn the crew into toads or such."

I blew a soft snort. "I wish I was a witch. Then I wouldn't _be_ in this situation."

A scoff drew my attention back to my fellow inmate. She was looking at the ceiling with a disgusted expression. "Of course you're utterly useless. After I went through the trouble of saving you. Well, don't expect anything else from me. As far as I am concerned, you are now an obstacle between me and returning to civilization. Good day."

And with that, she stood up and walked over to the far corner of her cell to plop down with an extremely unladylike air.

I twisted my mouth into an _of course_ look, then curled up back in my own corner. I didn't feel like dealing with the rattrap soup, so I left it where it was. I hadn't yet reached the state to eat raw rat, but I had the sneaky feeling that I was close.

Days passed with a monotonous boredom that clashed terribly with my constantly pulsing headache and churning stomach. The withdrawal from my addiction to listening to music was not pleasant, especially when it would have helped block out the constant dread and misery, and I had searched on the third day for any sharp implement I could find, yet nothing, not even a rusty nail poking out of the wood. My skin was crisscrossed with patterns I had made with my nails in an effort to entertain myself, my half-bob hair hanging down in greasy strands on one side that were quick on their way to becoming dreadlocks. My prison buddy had fared no better. She shed her dress on the next day and was sweltering in her undergarments. Between the two of us, we looked and smelled downright disgusting, yet that didn't stop our warden from throwing us calculating leers every time he brought us our paltry meals once a day.

I curled my lip at him when he eyed me up and down suggestively. I might not win, but I wasn't gonna go out without a fight. And he was used to 'respectable' bar rats from this time. I doubted he had tried to do anything with someone who used her teeth, and not in a fun way.

It struck me as odd that the only person we saw was that ragged excuse for a human being, but I could still hear the voices of the other sailors above us. Guess they couldn't be bothered with us, which I took for the blessing it was.

The boredom was killer, and I did my best to entertain myself. The lady, who still hadn't told me her name, refused to talk to me. I guess being stuck in this hellhole wasn't enough to sway her to chitchat with a commoner. So I busied myself with either mentally playing videogames, as much as I could remember, or diving deep into my headworld I had been working on a story with back home. Very deep. Sometimes I would open my eyes and expect to be there instead of still stuck in this doldrums.

I had figured out a use for the rattrap soup, since the only thing that had changed in our menu was a little bit more water and a piece of moldy brick I supposed was once bread. If I took out the chunks of rat and other unmentionables in it, soaked the brick in the soupy water that was left, the chalky mold canceled out the grimy taste of rat, which had a tang of gasoline (which was strange) and vice versa. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but it was better than starving to death. After watching me the first time, my cellmate began to do the same.

Five days in, our visitor decided to bless us with his charming company again, this time under the dim cover of night. I was just starting to wonder if I had enough rat tails to make a noose when I heard the familiar thump of boots on stairs. I crept into the deepest shadows of my cell with my hackles raised, snarling softly. He never came more than once a day, so this boded very ill…

He stood in front of the door of my neighbor's cell, grinning gape-toothed at her as she retreated into a corner with a wary look. "Yur gonna be high fun, aren't ya, missy? Not gonna give ol' Screed any tuble, right?"

I shuddered at the thought and snapped my teeth together a few times. "Hey! You don't want her, do you? Won't she be worth more if she's not damaged goods?"

That got his attention. He slowly turned to look at me, his blackened grin stretching wider when I became his target. I was disconnected emotionally, something that I tended to do in high-stress situations, but I knew what I wanted to do. These animals had imprisoned us, left us in inhumane conditions that I wouldn't leave a serial killer in, and I wanted my pound of flesh. I grinned at the rat as he unlocked my cell door, grappling at his breeches.

And I was gonna get it. It would hurt, but it would be oh, so satisfying.

"On yur back, bitch," he spat as I moved closer. I was scared, shaking from adrenaline like when I was about to kill a poisonous snake, except this one was far bigger than any copperhead I'd killed, and I didn't have my bush axe. But I needed to be close to do damage, and the adrenaline rush was working wonders for my panicky courage.

"Don't you want to have some fun first?" I rambled, my mind starting to short out as the panic grew. I knew I needed to disable him, but wasn't sure if I could remember enough from my self-defense class many years ago. "Anticipation makes it all the sweeter, right?"

Eyes first, then groin or slamming nose into brain. After that, fair game.

I placed my hands on the nasty coat he was wearing, covered in grime and snot and other secretions, gently gliding upwards until I had my hands on his face.

He was watching me with an uncertain look, apparently stupid only up to a point, but he went with it, grabbing my sides with a pinching grip.

I winced, then smiled at him as I smoothed my thumbs across his eyelids as I pulled him down as if for a kiss.

Then I stabbed deep, trying to force my thumbnails as deep through his eyelids as I could get, trying to not get shaken off as he screeched and danced around, scrabbling at my skin as he tried to pull me off. I tried to get a knee up but he had already skittered out of reach as he grabbed my hands and shoved me away. Bloody liquid streamed down his cheeks, but I couldn't tell if I had crushed them to a pulp. Either way, he was still mobile, and even more dangerous now that he was in pain and enraged.

I jumped out of his way as he blindly rushed towards me, screaming profanities and how he was going to slice me to ribbons.

The ship suddenly rocked underneath us, the motion accompanying by the roar of thunder and the strange, acrid stench of a smoke I hadn't smelled before.

Cannonfire, I realized. They were firing on someone. Another passenger liner like the _Bountiful_?

Unfortunately, the rocking had jolted me too close to the blinded rat and he managed to grab hold of me, his hands scrabbling along my torso as he tried to find my neck.

I dodged as much as I could with the grip he had on one of my arms, but wasn't quick enough as he managed to slap me hard across my face, rapidly crushing me in a bear hug as he began to squeeze. Stars flashed across my vision, then disappeared in a red haze as rage rapidly replaced panic. Fueled by that and having no other options, I snarled and lunged forward, reaching downwards to try and crush sensitive parts as I sank my teeth deep into his neck to tear flesh and arteries. I tasted blood as I bit hard, and my fingers managed to grab something soft and giving. I immediately dug in, squeezing and twisting with all my might as I withstood the blows from my victim's flailing fists as he let go of me and tried to punch me into letting go. My ribs were aching from the punishment of being repeatedly pounded, but I held on, my jaws locked deep into blood and mangled flesh.

A lucky fist managed to clock me against my temple and I almost blacked out, managing to struggle back to awareness from the sheer knowledge that if I let go, I was in bigger trouble than before.

Hot blood streamed everywhere and the beating gradually began to subside as he lost huge quantities of the fluid.

I snarled and bit deeper, sending fresh gushes of blood pulsing down my chest. All I tasted was hot metal, my entire body shaking with adrenaline. My teeth hurt from the effort of tearing through skin and muscle, but my sharp canines has done the job as my victim started going slack.

I had work to unlock my jaw as he began to drop, the tension making muscles ache that I hadn't felt since my wisdom teeth had been removed. His body collapsed to the floor, all but gone, the floor a bloody mess underneath us. I was shaking so hard I could barely stand as I stared down at the first human being I had ever killed. I felt no remorse, but no satisfaction either. Just…tired, and in pain.

Shuddering, I stumbled over to the bulkhead as the ship rocked again, harder this time, the returning cannonfire that was coming from whoever they were fighting booming louder and more frequently than the ship we were on. _Serves you bastards right, picking on someone with bigger teeth. Hopefully they'll kill all you fuckers._

"You-you killed him!" I heard in a shrill screech. "I can't believe…Oh my god…"

 _Why does everyone insist on screeching? Seriously? It's fucking annoying._ I ignored her and slumped down the wall to my knees, my muscles like limp jelly after the adrenaline faded and left shivering limbs and pain. So much pain.

I half-heartedly tried to spit out some blood and wrinkled my nose when it just dribbled down my chin.

"Get up! We don't have time for this! We need to get out of here, or we'll be sunk along with this wretched vessel. Get up!" she yelled, smacking her hands against the bars, apparently having recovered from witnessing a fairly gruesome murder.

Scoffing lightly, I closed my eyes, exhaustion sweeping through me like a wave of blackness. I was so tired…

Dehydration, pain, nausea, adrenaline rush, it was all too much and I had nothing left. I let the bone-deep weariness drag me under, the faint cries for help swimming in the distance the last thing I heard below the roar of cannons…

 **xxxxxx**

I drifted slightly to consciousness, not enough to fully awaken, but enough to be aware that I was being carried. I was pressed tight against a solid chest, the powerful arms holding me seemed strong enough to crush bone, but I couldn't summon any concern, not when I was being held so gently. It was a very strange feeling. I hadn't been carried since I was little, and I didn't even know _where_ I was being carried to. Whoever it was, I felt his chest vibrate when he barked commands in a language I didn't understand, the baritone of his voice a deep and smoky sound with a raspy bite to it, a mellow music I could listen to all day. I wanted to open my eyes to see his face, but my eyelids were too heavy and it took too much effort. He started to speak again, softer this time, and I drifted off, lulled by the sound of his voice.

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 _Soooo...here's the first chapter! Blood and gore abound, I'm sorry if I didn't do the ratings right. Let me know if I need to fix something, and_ please _let me know of any spelling/grammatical errors! It drives me crazy when I read other people's work and I try to be a stickler for it, but sometimes things slip through. I have no idea when I'll post next, but rest assured that I will. I have more content than just this but I want to iron it out some before I put it up. Hope you got sucked in! :D_


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes flashed open and I scrambled upright, shoving myself backwards against the hardness of a wall as my gaze darted around in a panic, my breath coming in quick gasps as I struggled to place where I was _now_. It was getting really old waking up in strange places that were _not_ my bed. At first glance, I was clean, no blood to be seen, in a bed inside a small room with little furniture, and the man in the chair close to the door had been startled awake by my abrupt movement.

And the room was still rocking.

I paused for a second, trying to determine if it was my head spinning that made it feel like that, or if my world was indeed swaying.

Yup, it was swaying. I was still on a ship.

I groaned and fell back against the wall, then jerked to eye the man warily as he rose from the chair to move over to the bed.

"You are safe, _senorita_. No harm will come to aboard this vessel." He spoke with a thick accent I couldn't place but guessed was Spanish, due to the term he used, and he appeared to be wearing a uniform of some sort. _Military…naval? Oh, goodie. In a time period notorious for being prejudiced against women on ships, I'm stuck on a naval vessel. And it'll be just my luck we get some chauvinistic pig in charge. What next? I teleport to Tatooine ?_

"You must lie back down. It is too soon for you to be moving. Your injuries have not yet healed and you were severely dehydrated." I was bustled back under the covers before I could protest, flinching when he touched me. Even before I had been locked in a cell and almost died, I didn't like people touching me.

"Water, please?" I rasped after I rolled my dry, thick tongue across fuzzy teeth, the plastic taste of having been asleep for a long while strong in my mouth.

"Of course. Here." He poured some water from a pitcher on the small dresser, then made as if to help me sit up.

I tensed, shrinking back slightly. "Please…don't. I can sit up."

He nodded gently and withdrew, waiting patiently as I pulled myself upright and handed me the cup.

"Slowly. Small sips."

I blinked tiredly as I drank, the cool liquid making the grimy dryness in my mouth instantly vanish and I began to feel better. My headache was gone, thank God, but I had a weakness to my limbs I didn't care for. This strange person who was apparently my temporary caretaker might have said I was safe, but if I needed to run, I doubted my legs would support me. It felt like all the strength had been leeched out of my bones.

After I was done, he took the cup while I watched him suspiciously. It took me a long time to trust people normally, and after my recent experience, I wondered if I'd ever be calm around men. Well, they'd always made me nervous before, mostly because I was raised in a family of women. In my experience, men were rarely worth the paper they were written on.

He saw my suspicious look and smiled at me, probably trying to appear less threatening. He looked harmless enough, his face not handsome, his cheekbones cut too sharp and his brow too heavy, but he wasn't ugly, with dark, kind eyes, tanned olive skin, and he appeared relatively young, about late 20s. The more I took in his features, the more I realized he was actually kinda cute. His black hair was long and tied back in a neat ponytail that appeared to be pressed into a curl, which should have looked really strange, but somehow seemed appropriate with his black and gray uniform. He had some beard shadow, but other than that, the neat and pressed image he presented was a far cry from the grungy pirate garbage.

"I gather that you have questions, yes?" he asked, moving to return to the chair, making me a little less nervous now that he was on the other side of the room.

I flexed my ears backwards, something I did when I was anxious and liked to take on more animalistic characteristics, such as growling or baring my teeth, and dipped my head in an affirmative.

"You are aboard the _Silent Mary_ , a proud vessel of the Royal Spanish Navy. We were hunting the pirate ship you were on and all aboard her had been slain when your companion was able to gain our attention. We brought you two aboard the _Mary_ , where you've been in our care since."

I reached up to rub my face as I groaned quietly. _What kind of nightmare is this? Just one fucking curveball after another. Couldn't I at least get a pot of petunias to chat with, dammit._

"You need to rest. You are not yet ready to be up and about," he cautioned, rising to stand, but didn't move closer. "I shall return later. I need to inform the Captain that you woke."

I looked up at him as he turned to leave. "Wait. What's your name?"

He paused and sketched a slight bow. "Ah, forgive me. I am Officer Reíno. And your name, may I ask?"

My mind raced around in circles. For some reason, I didn't want to give my real name and blurted out, "Blue. My name is Blue." _Uh, okay? No, this is good. These people supposedly saved us, and we're gonna lie to them right off the bat. Yup, there's no way this ain't gonna bite us in the ass._

My inner voice rolled its eyes and I cleared my throat a little before I tried to fix my mishap. "I have a few names that I go by, but I prefer Blue." Well, it wasn't a complete lie, my coworkers called me different things. I didn't go by Blue, though. Usually it was variations of my name or initials.

Officer Reíno bobbed his head, an expression flickering across his face that I couldn't read before he smoothed into a polite smile. "Very well then, Miss Blue. I must report for my duties, but I shall return afterwards to assist you. Rest well."

With that, he let himself out and quietly closed the door behind him. I clicked in my throat and shook myself, my life before I woke up in this twisted rabbit hole seemed a distant memory. And at this moment, I didn't care where I was, I just wanted to go home. I missed my mom, my grandmother, my dogs, my cats, my goats…I missed my room and my drawings…

I pulled my knees up to my chest, drawing in shuddering breaths as the feelings of anxiety and depression clashed together like stormy waves upon rocks. I hadn't had time to reflect upon my situation when I had been in the cell, distracted by the misery of migraines and never-ending nausea. Aboard the _Mary_ , I could barely feel the rocking of the waves, for which I was eternally grateful, but I could feel the oncoming breakdown from the sheer emotional hurricane begin to overwhelm me with nothing to distract it.

I hated crying. I absolutely hated it, especially the type of ugly crying I was currently doing. My anxiety raced a rut in my brain as I silently screamed at the air, the tears streaming down my face until I was blinded, my nose clogged and still I couldn't stop.

Emotionally drained, the torrent eventually died down to manageable sniffles and I felt terrible. I hated crying because it wasn't pretty, it didn't fix anything, and you felt like shit afterwards. My eyes were puffy and burning, I couldn't breathe, my pillow was drenched and nothing had changed. I certainly didn't feel better, but I supposed sometimes you just had to let it out. I got up and wobbily tottered over to the water pitcher to pour some onto my hand and tried to wipe off the worst of it. The towel that had been left for me was handy, and I felt a little more human after that.

I crawled back under the covers and heaved a sigh. Life liked to throw me lots of punches and I was pretty good at rolling with them, but this was a friggin' bitch slap to a glass jaw. I felt shattered emotionally and physically and I had absolutely no idea what to do or where to go. If I was on a Spanish ship, then not only was I in the wrong era of time, but I was an entire ocean away from home to boot. _Great. This is gonna be hard-pressed to get any worse. How the fuck did this happen? This shit happens in books and fucking fanfictions, not in real life._

Curling into a ball, I tried to silence the panicking voices in my head and get some sleep because who knew where the fuck I might wake up next. Luckily the crying jag had worn me out enough that I was eventually able to drift off into a sea of uncertain dreams.

In hindsight, I should have known that I was going to have nightmares, but it didn't occur to me before I awoke with a jolt, panting hard and shaking with the urge to run from the demons in the dark. I shook myself and rolled out of the bed, staring around wildly as I moved jerkily towards the door, hoping some fresh air might help as I pulled the handle.

The door didn't budge.

"S-seriously?" I stuttered, starting to panic. I needed to get out, to run, to hide, to stop the dizzying whirl of my thoughts that were going nowhere but skipping like a record at the end of its track. I bit into my hand, the pain helping release some of my anxiety but not ebbing the flood in the slightest. I scanned the room, looking for something, anything to distract myself until the nervous dread could die down. A book, a scrap of paper, something, anything!

The room was completely bare except the bed and the table, the empty sensation seemingly causing my skull to shrink as I began to hyperventilate. An idea flashed through my mind and I grabbed the pillow and the blanket, crawling under the bed and noting with relief that whoever was in charge of cleaning had swept out underneath as well. Folding the cushy blanket half under me provided some protection for the sheer hardness of the floor, and offered some escape from the demons swirling in my brain. I knew it wouldn't help if someone actually came into the room with ill intent, but it gave me some peace of mind. Restlessly, I drifted in the dark, softly humming to myself to try and calm the anxious fluttering of my thoughts long enough to go back to sleep for a while.

Boots on hard wood and the click of the door woke me, triggering a flashback to my cell. I bolted upright, only remembering I was under the bed after I cracked my forehead into the wooden frame above me with a small flash of white. Muttering dark curses under my breath, with plenty of "motherfuckers" thrown in, I crawled out from under the bed.

" _¡Senorita!_ What on earth-"

"I don't want to talk about it," I snapped, the insta-headache and my poor night of sleep making me irritable, even though it could be argued that I wasn't a morning person to begin with.

"Let me help-"

I snarled at Reíno's helping hand and cringed away, scrambling up on top of the bed before he could touch me, huddling into a ball in the corner. I didn't want help, I didn't want anyone touching me, I just wanted to be left alone, with an _unlocked_ door! What I really wanted was to go home, but I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen anytime soon…

I stared at the officer with a grim expression as he glanced over me worriedly. "Are you well, _senorita_? Why were you under the bed?"

I blew through my nostrils, but didn't answer. I didn't feel like talking today, maybe ever again.

Reíno sighed, rubbing the side of his face as he stepped closer, a small bundle of cloth in his other hand. "Please understand. I know you are probably not happy being in here, but it is for your own safety. This is a military vessel and she is not designed for passengers. You could easily be hurt."

I understood what he was trying to say, but I also understood that this was not an ideal situation. I was ready to leave, breathing or otherwise. I started, surprised at the dark tone my thoughts had taken. I'd never thought I'd find myself entertaining the thought of suicide before, but I knew that this time period was not…kind to women. Especially ones that could easily be considered ill of mind or a witch. Such as someone from the 21st century.

"Miss Blue?"

I jerked my gaze up to see Reíno staring at me with concern. He must have called my name more than once. "What?"

He hesitated for a brief moment before asking, "Is there anything I can get for you? The captain wishes you to dine with him shortly, but until then?"

The…captain? I so didn't want to deal with that right now, but the mention of food made me realize that I hadn't had real food in well over a week.

I clicked a noise deep in my throat as I weighed food against the possibility of another anxiety attack.

"Perhaps a change of clothes, then? I'm afraid that any dresses we had aboard have been claimed by Lady BeKatt-"

I cocked my head to the side. "Who?"

Reíno gave me a confused look. "The lady who was captured with you aboard the pirate ship."

"Ah. She never told me her name. Something about me being a commoner," I muttered with a disgusted scowl.

Reíno twisted his lips in a small sneer that led me to believe that I wasn't the only person she had a "problem" with. "I am not surprised. We were able to locate some small items of clothing that if do not fit, will not be overly large."

I glanced over his decently-sized frame and then down at what I was wearing. Somehow, the fact that I was dressed in a soft, flowing shirt that was fairly unflattering to my figure and well-fitting breeches had amazingly escaped my notice. No, seriously, how the hell hadn't I noticed?

"Your other, ah, items…were cleaned as much as possible. Here," he said as he held out the small bundle towards me.

I took it, recognizing my pajamas and more clothes like the ones I wore. A thought struck me and I jerked my head up to look at Reíno uneasily. "Who…cleaned the blood off me?

Reíno coughed uncomfortably and a ruddy flush crept over his olive skin. "Lady BeKatt was…kind enough to assist mostly with…that matter…" he trailed off, the flush darkening as he refused to meet my eye. I gathered that the good Lady BeKatt hadn't been as helpful as he'd like me to believe in that matter.

I tried to not let it bother me too much and instead drew some comfort from the familiarity of my shirt. I was pretty sure I didn't have anything whoever it was that had cleaned me up hadn't seen before, but all the same, it was really embarrassing, since no one had ever seen me naked before. _Thaaat's a dangerous path to go down, let's not._

Glancing up, I suddenly gave him a small, slightly mischievous smile. "Make you a deal. You don't mention me being under the bed, and I won't pry about who dressed me."

Reíno made a small choking noise, the ruddiness flushing up to his ears, but he nodded in agreement.

I set the clothes beside me and chewed on my lip, wondering if I could get something draw or write with. I was pretty sure that any book in this time period was gonna be a really dry read, or even if there were some that weren't, I doubted they could be found on a naval vessel.

"Miss Blue?" Reíno queried. "You have something you wish to ask?"

"Could I…uhm, get some paper and a pencil?" I asked, shifting uncomfortably. It didn't feel right asking for more from these people, but I was desperate.

Reíno seemed to pause for a moment, confused. "Paper and pencil? May I ask what for?"

"I, uh, like to draw and was thinking," I sucked in a deep breath, "since I'm not allowed to go outside, I could at least amuse myself."

His confusion cleared and he nodded. "Ah, yes. I will see what I can do. And you are allowed to go outside, just not without an escort."

At this I perked up. I could go out? Now?

Seeing my expression, he smiled and bowed slightly, "I take it you wish to step out for a moment? Only a brief moment, mind, your injuries have not healed fully."

Scrub my injuries, I needed _out_ , and the only blasted window in this joint didn't open. I stood up quickly. "Out. _Now._ "

"I apologize that the window is barred," he said as he stepped aside to open the door for me, "We sustained a small amount of damage and it needed to be covered so as not to allow unfavorable weather in."

I was barely listening, too busy savoring the fresh scent of freedom, polish, and wax. I wrinkled my nose slightly, noticing that the fresh coating on the wood did indeed look nice, but it stung the inside of my nose with unpleasant fumes. Splinters weren't something I was really worried about, I walked around barefoot almost all day long, and I had no idea if they had a pair of shoes small enough to fit. For people as fastidious as these seemed to be, it was a little funny that they overlooked giving me a pair, but I wasn't going to remind them of something I didn't need.

Reíno stepped past me and I blew a snort when I realized he was only a few inches taller than I was, and I was _short_. Not that it mattered, I just hadn't realized he was so short until I was standing next to him. I was used to being the shortest person in a room at almost any given time, so I found it amusing.

"Come. This way." Reíno turned down a corridor and made sure I was following before leading me through a small maze to a set of stairs that went up to bright light. I squinted, disliking the burning sunlight, but it was more than tolerable to get some fresh air and be out of that cabin.

I knew I was grinning like a fool as I ducked under a stairway and trotted over to the railing, but I didn't care. I had wind in my face, all I could smell was brine, and I was happy as a clam. I loved the beach, but didn't much care for being out on the ocean since I almost always got seasick, but it appeared that being aboard the _Silent Mary_ hardly made me feel nauseous at all, which struck me as odd. Then I looked down the length of the deck and I figured out why.

This thing was _massive_. I knew essentially nothing about anything naval, but I had a feeling that a ship this size was a rare creation. The bright light of the midday sun cast her in her full glory and even I was capable of appreciating the feat of engineering and craftsmanship that had gone into the _Mary_.

"She is beautiful, no?" I heard Reíno murmur when he saw me taking the sheer magnificence of the vessel he served on.

I nodded quietly, slightly awestruck. "She's _gorgeous_!"

He let out a soft laugh. "She is the pride and joy of those that serve aboard her, the envy of all other sailors that sail under the flag, and the bane of all pirates who dare to cross her path."

"I'll bet," I muttered under my breath, moving over to make room next to the rail as Reíno joined me in admiring the _Mary_. He glanced over at me, his face breaking into a grin as he looked at me.

"What?" I asked, not really caring what I looked like as I closed my eyes and lifted my face into the wind, enjoying myself immensely.

"You appear to be having fun," he said with a laugh.

"I am! I love the smell of brine, and after being stuck in a sweathouse of a cell, then locked in a cabin, it feels good." I sighed happily and slumped down on the railing, resting my head on my arms as I basked in the breeze.

"She lives!" a new voice broke in, yanking me out of my peaceful state. I jerked upright to see a new officer approaching us, his face breaking into a grin as he drew closer. Something about his manner and the slight swagger to his step told me his sense of humor slanted towards the mischievous, and the slight glitter in his eyes as he gave me a quick onceover left me with the uncomfortable impression I might be his next victim. I inched closer towards Reíno, just in case this new character got any ideas as I perused him back. His features were very refined, almost too sharp, which added up to what would have been a very stern face if not for that glimmer of humor.

Reíno seemed to have no such misgivings. "She speaks as well! _Senorita_ Blue, this is Officer Magda. He will also accompany you from time to time while you are aboard when I must attend to my duties."

While keeping my eyes on Player Two with a mistrustful stare, I let out a small "yay" I was certain neither of them heard as they turned to talk to each other in their native tongue.

I flexed my ears back, the serene moment shattered and I clicked deep in my throat with disappointment. I turned away from their intense discussion and peered down over the side of the ship, wishing for a pair of sunglasses as I was blinded by the glint on the waves, if only they had been invented yet.

A sudden burst of homesickness swept over me as I stared out over the waves, head resting on my crossed arms again. Who knew if I'd ever be able to see my home again, my scatterbrain house tucked away in the thick green woods with my two fat horses, a.k.a. pasture ornaments, grazing out front.

"Something is wrong," a gentle voice interrupted my thoughts. I twisted slightly and saw Reíno and Magda watching me intently.

Shrugging a little, I returned to watching the waves. "Homesick."

"Home…sick?" Reíno asked, sharing a confused glance with his comrade.

I gave myself a little mental kick. I needed to watch the lingo, or they were really going to notice something wasn't right. "It's when you're in a strange place, away from home, and feel a strong urge to return," I explained, abruptly losing the desire to be talkative.

"Ah, I know of this feeling. Where is home?" Reíno inquired, moving to stand next to me at the railing again. Magda stepped away, I assumed to return to his duties.

"Far away…" I murmured, my heart sinking when I started to realize just _how_ far away it was. I was quickly slipping back into depression…

"You are American, yes? 'tis not so far away, I think. Indeed, crossing the ocean is dangerous, but it is very possible. I am sure that the captain will see to it before you depart." Reíno seemed bewildered as to why I was so dejected about this. I had to laugh to myself because the poor man had absolutely no idea that it was more than just an ocean between me and home.

"It's…complicated. Explaining would just give the both of us a headache." _And it's not like you'd believe me anyway._ I gave a soft snort as I imagined myself explaining what a car was, or the fact that we had a device that let us talk to anyone, anywhere in the world, see their face even, and we used it to search for pictures of kittens.

Reíno hummed a noncommittal noise, then abruptly twisted about at someone's shout. "Wait here, please. I must see to something."

I nodded a yes as he strode off, leaving me to my thoughts. I shrank back into the shadows under the staircase leading to one of the upper decks, hiding behind a few barrels tucked under it with me. Peace, relative quiet (what with the bustle of sailors zipping around on deck), and a moment to try and sort my life into some semblance of order.

Having been in a worse situation, this particular setup wasn't so bad. Polite people, well, _men_ , and clean clothes and bed. Couldn't say anything about the food yet, but I wasn't really that hungry, surprisingly. A side effect, I supposed, from almost dying of dehydration. It tended to shrink one's appetite.

All in all, aside from being about two centuries off course, it probably would have been a rather enjoyable trip, if I'd been forewarned and been able to pack or something. As it was, I was still having a slight difficulty in wrapping my head around _friggin' time travel_. Like…whaa? Now would have been a superb time to stumble across a blue police box…

I laughed quietly to myself, then jumped in surprise when I heard the bark of a deep voice right over my head. I looked up to see shiny black boots striding purposefully down the staircase as their owner continued speaking to whoever was the recipient of his harsh tone. He reached the bottom of the stairs and the rest of him came into view as he turned to continue speaking to one of the officers I now realized was Reíno. If I had to confess, silently to myself and would never admit to any other living soul, he was extremely attractive. I had always been a sucker for a man in uniform (and really, what woman wasn't?) but this new player that had entered the game struck such a striking figure, it was like I had been suckerpunched right in the gut. Well hidden behind the barrels, I allowed myself to curiously take him in, noting that he wore no hat, yet it made his appearance seem even more arresting, as if he needed any help in that arena. He was well older, but that didn't bother me, I had always found myself attracted to older men, but I had a feeling that for him, he had probably been an ungainly youth until he had grown into his strong features. His black hair was neatly pulled back into a bun without any wisps escaping, which compared to my flyaway hair, was very impressive. A Roman nose that appeared to have been broken at least once and a high, proud brow made into an extremely attractive visage, but his somewhat generous mouth gave a soft edge to his otherwise stern persona. _I bet he'd be an outstanding kisser._ I quickly jerked away from that and continued my observations.

The silvery-white and black striped jacket he wore was completely different than of the other uniforms I'd seen, and the silver-threaded epaulets on his broad shoulders said he was high ranking. I felt safe in assuming he was the captain.

He strode to stand directly in front of Reíno and appeared to be quietly berating him. I hoped I hadn't gotten him into trouble or anything. Then I frowned, cocking my head as I listened. Upon paying attention to the dark, rolling tones of the captain's voice, I started, recognizing it as the voice I had heard before I woke aboard the _Mary_. He had been the one carrying me? Why? I would have thought that my bloody mess of a self would have been being toted about by one of the minions, rather than the captain. I shuddered in embarrassment, not that there was much I could have done if I'd been conscious. But still, it was the principle of the matter. I shook myself as the inadvertent imaginings of this man carrying me skittered through my mind and viciously shoved it away. I already felt uncomfortable; there was no need to make it worse.

 _Okay, enough fresh air. Time to retreat._ I peeked around the barrels to see if I could make a run for the stairs leading belowdecks without being seen.

Gack, nope. The doorway was square in the captain's line of sight. Dammit.

I sighed, resigned to staying curled up behind the barrels until Reíno could get away to escort me back to my room. My sense of direction was fairly on point, but I needed more than one go-round to get my bearings and it wouldn't make a good first impression to be found wandering about like a lost lamb.

I was dozing hard in the shade for a probably a good twenty minutes, waiting for Reíno to come back. The man had been right, I wasn't ready to be jazzing about, but it felt better to snooze up on deck than down in the closed cabin. It was far sight better than a cell, don't get me wrong, but considering how my life had been going the past week, it easily made me feel claustrophobic.

"Awaken, _senorita._ We must return you to your cabin."

I was alert with a jolt, cricking my neck as I jerked upright. It was Magda who had awoken me, not Reíno like I had hoped. Magda took a small step back, allowing me room as I scrambled to my feet, throwing around a quick glance to see that the captain had disappeared.

"My apologies for startling you-" he started as he held out a hand to help me rise.

"It's fine," I said with a polite smile, even as I discreetly avoided his hand. I wanted _no one_ touching me, I didn't care who they were…just the thought made my skin crawl. And I felt too brittle to be subjected to any mischief this particularly individual felt like imparting. I was capable of shrugging off a great deal, but right now, I felt…fragile.

He nodded politely, then twisted to the side as he held out an arm. I tilted my head, staring at him in confusion. What did he want?

"Please. Allow me to escort you." He motioned for me to take his arm. Frowning, I gave him a look. What part of I didn't want anyone touching me did the universe not understand? I understood it was polite and all, but I could really use a few less manners… Magda waited patiently, a small smile on his lips and that glitter still there, but I was really too drained to give a damn. Fine, if he wanted to use me as an emotional punching bag, fucking go for it. I didn't care.

I resisted heaving a sigh as I gingerly reached out and wrapped my hands around his sleeve, the gesture completely alien to me.

Magda must have seen my uncertainty on my face because he smiled at me reassuringly as he placed a gloved hand above my own, but didn't resist when I tugged my hand experimentally to make sure I could still get free. "I mean you no harm, Miss…Blue, was it? I promise to take you straight to your cabin and nothing more."

I made a noise at the back of my throat as I avoided meeting his eyes. Being this close to a male stranger made me extremely nervous. "I'm not nervous," I blatantly lied, wanting nothing more than to slip loose and run away. My personal space was being ignored and my skin was prickling from the invasion.

"You must forgive me but that does not seem to be a truthful admission," Magda said with an easy grin, flexing slightly as we descended the stairs, making me aware that though he was slightly taller than Reíno and slimmer, he seemed to have a wiry strength to him that was capable of damaging me just as efficiently.

"When did you become so distrustful of men, if I may ask?" He let out a small laugh that quickly died when I jerked away from him, unable to take the lack of space anymore. I put the width of the corridor between us and looked him in the eye.

"Around the time that I was imprisoned and almost raped by _men_ , sir."

That shut him up, and squashed any humor out of his expression, his open gaze immediately growing dark. I felt a twinge of remorse, and tried to ease it by adding, "I know you are a gentleman, otherwise Reíno wouldn't have entrusted my care to you. But you seem to have an air of a troublemaker to you and I…don't think I could take any more trouble right now."

I gentled my tone and smiled timidly at him. "I'm sorry, but I would like to be friends though, if that's possible."

We stared at each other for a long moment. It would have been nice to have known what he was thinking in that space of time. I was thinking that I wished I could just melt into the floor and escape all of my problems.

He seemed to reach some sort of conclusion and his features relaxed back into his easy air as he cracked a small, genuine smile at me. "The apology is mine, milady. I fear you are correct, my manners have been fearfully lacking, such as they are. And I should have realized, yet here you are, having to remind me of how to act as a gentleman to a distraught lady-"

"We're going to stop right there," I interrupted, holding a hand up to his faintly surprised expression, "I'm not distraught, I just need a little less…touching," I finished with an almost invisible shudder.

Magda was silent, his eyes darkening slightly before he gave a slow nod. "I believe I understand."

He held his hands behind his back and sketched a small bow, his smile back, if a shade dimmer than it had been. "Shall we, milady?"

I rolled with it. "Lead on, my good sir," I said, smiling back, feeling better now that I had my personal space back. He still made me unsettled, but it was easier to deal with when I had a comfortable distance between us.

"I apologize, again, for making you feel uncomfortable," he said quietly as he led me through the short maze back to my cabin.

"It's alright, I'll recover shortly. It's just still…fresh," I murmured, quickly becoming more at ease with the man now that I felt like he wasn't going to pull some prank on me, not yet anyway, and was giving me the space I needed. I would have to thicken my skin, but that could come later.

We reached my door and he stopped, fidgeting slightly before clearing his throat. "If I may…I think I would take pleasure in being your friend."

I grinned at him. "Just so you know, I'm terrible at correspondence. You'll have to do all the talking," I gently teased.

Magda appeared slightly startled by the tease, then quickly recovered, grinning back. "I will do what I must to secure a friendship with such a lovely young woman, especially one so beautiful."

I coughed, not certain I had heard correctly, but my face started burning all the same. "I beg your pardon?"

His grin stretched wider and clicked his heels together, straightening to attention. "One shall be along within the hour to fetch you to the captain's cabin. A small bath has been placed inside your cabin for your convenience."

Dipping a bow, he turned about and strode away, leaving me staring after him, blinking in bewilderment. _Uhhhhh, who'da what now? Did..he just call me beautiful?_ I shook myself and clicked my teeth while I walked into my cabin, concluding I was mistaken. Either that or the man needed glasses.

Inside was a tub big enough for me to fit in, with fresh clothes, a towel and soap next to the bath. I made use of the chamberpot first, grimacing at the barbarity of it (the lack of plumbing being one of the major reasons I had never wished to timetravel), but with the rudimentary toilet paper, it wasn't as bad as I had feared. I never wanted to be the person with the duties to dispose of them, that was for sure.

Clicking in my throat, I circled the bath, eyeing the steaming water. I appreciated the gesture, but I felt very ill at ease with being tended to like this. I was used to taking care of myself, but I figured it wasn't quite as bad as having a maid. That would have been unbearable. It did help a little, since I was used to 21st century conveniences.

I quickly stripped, the steaming water calling my name and I sank in it with a content sigh. It felt so good, I could just soak in it forever.

Unfortunately, Magda's announcement earlier ruined any relaxation I might have sought from the warm waters and with a growl, I quickly bathed as much as I could, grimacing at the inconvenience of backwoods mechanics. It was a small struggle to figure out which soap went where when I couldn't read the labels, but I was pretty sure I figured it out. If anyone laughed at me for messing up, I'd like to see _them_ go shopping at Wal-mart for shampoo.

I snorted at the image that produced and quickly finished up, not wanting to be literally caught with my pants down when I was summoned to the lion's den.

I put the clean clothes on and glanced down at my shirt, groaning at the sheer amount of cleavage it revealed. I had the unfortunate blessing of being uncomfortably busty, and this style of shirt did absolutely nothing to hide it. I chewed my lip, looking around the room to see if something might have appeared that I could use. No such luck.

 _Maybe I can persuade a visit to the infirmary to get some bindings. I don't really feel like being ogled._

I plopped onto the bed with a deep sigh, resigned to waiting anxiously for this next fun parade. To amuse myself, I imagined what I was about to be subjected to, then quickly changed my mind when it only served to heighten my anxiety just thinking about being in close quarters with the captain. I was almost completely positive that that man earlier had been the captain. If he wasn't, I'd be really surprised.

A loud knock interrupted my contemplation and I jumped, my stomach abruptly twisting in a tight knot.

"Coming," I called as I slipped from the bed and went over to open the door, revealing Reíno waiting patiently, still dressed in uniform. _I wonder if he's melting under that? It's making me hot just looking at him._

He gave me a brief smile. "Are you ready?"

I suddenly remembered my…display and fidgeted awkwardly. "Uhm, could we stop by the infirmary first? I need some…bindings…" I coughed, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. I knew I shouldn't find it embarrassing, but it was very much so.

Reíno gave me a confused look, flicking a quick glance over me. "Whyfor? Are you injured?"

I nervously rubbed my neck and strained, cracking the vertebrae to relieve some of the tension. "No, I'm…the fit of the shirt, it's…ah…"

He looked at my chest and understanding flooded his face, along with a slight pink tinge to his tan. "Ah, yes, bindings." He coughed, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. "I suppose we should have- ahem, follow me."

I scurried after him as he twisted about and led me deeper in to the ship, down a deck and through yet more of a maze of hallways. I knew it was probably not as bad as the place where I worked, which was a veritable rabbit warren, but I was discombobulated and my sense of direction not at its best.

"Will the captain be angry that we are late?" I asked as we hurried along. "I don't want to get you in trouble."

"It will be fine. I will explain if need be. Here we are," he motioned for me to follow him into a fairly large room with empty bunks laid out and an older gentleman working with tools that looked like torture devices from the Stone Age. He exchanged a few words in Spanish with whom I assumed was the ship's doctor, who after throwing me a glance, nodded and reached into one of the numerous drawers in the cabinets behind him and pulled out a roll of binding. Handing it to me, he motioned to a screen in one of the corners for me to use.

"Gracías." I smiled politely at him, ignoring their looks of surprise. Slipping behind the screen, I pulled off my shirt and sucked in a breath, curling a lip that I hadn't grown up with a chest that was a little flatter.

The bindings dug tightly into my skin, but I didn't want them to come loose and I could breath fine, so I wasn't worried. Tying them was a little bit of a trick, but I managed to work it so it was secure. Fully dressed, I stepped around the screen and nodded at Reíno, who stood impatiently by the door. "Ready."

His anxious features relaxed into a relieved look and I figured he wasn't quite as nonchalant about his captain's concerns of promptness as he had let on.

"This way. Where did you learn Spanish?" he asked curiously as he led me back to the upper deck.

"I don't really know it per se. I know a few really basic phrases, words, might be able to get the gist of what I'm reading, but I wouldn't call it knowing." I didn't tell him that I had had an absolute nightmare of a class in college that had made me hate Spanish and everything related, and I wasn't the only student. Some classmates who had taken it the semester after I had said that it was a completely different class when they were in it, becoming about cultural awareness instead of actually learning Spanish. _That_ said everything.

But I couldn't tell him any of that. So I invented just a little bit. "It was part of my schooling. We were required to learn about another culture for six weeks and Spanish was the one that was available while I was attending."

"I see. How much did you learn?" Reíno asked conversationally, directing me to a sparsely populated area of the ship. I hadn't seen another crew member in the past few hallways, while down below we'd practically been stumbling over sailors.

"Not very much. I'm afraid I wasn't a good student," I half-lied with a laugh. Truthfully, I had graduated almost completely with A's, except for a few stupid classes (that had been poorly taught, but my graduating grade was still 3.89), but that Spanish class had been so bad as to drive one to drink. The only reason I had passed it with an A was because I and several of my classmates had gotten together and figured how to make as much use of the cheatsheet we had been allowed during our quizzes as we could.

"This is the captain's cabin," Reíno announced, stopping at a door that had ornate sectional woodwork carved into it, giving it an ominous air, but that might have been my imagination

I gulped, feeling the blood draining as I rubbed at the anxious cramping in my lower left arm.

I must have looked white as sheet because Reíno gently reached out and touched my shoulder. "You'll be fine. I'll escort you inside and you'll dine while you answer questions. That's all. You're not going to be thrown overboard or back into a cell. I promise," he said reassuringly.

I swallowed again. "Is that really something you can promise when you're not in charge, though?"

He huffed in amusement, then knocked and opened the door, grasping my elbow to pull me along as he strode inside the lion's den.


	3. Chapter 3

**Heyo my peeps! I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to post this, but I'd run into some issues with life (overworked, underpaid, temporary lack of a personal computer [I was writing this at work *coughcough*]). Thank you to everyone who's left reviews, stumbled upon this work and enjoyed reading, and to everyone who's offered encouragement to continue (trust me, I have a lot more written for this, just needs touch ups and finishing). Heartfelt thanks to nettacartwright, who is amazesauce at all things Salazar and is totally talented in ze writing of da fanfictions! Go check out all ze works! :3**

 **Just something I wanted to mention, a few peeps have mentioned that they're happy to have a story featuring the crew; I'd just like to say that while it will have some crew members, more than I've seen in a lot of other fics, it won't feature the** ** _entire_** **crew. Zomg, I'd go crazy trying to keep track. But it will gradually center on just Salazar and Blue/Isabeau. I'd also like to apologize for any errors in missing words, misspellings, continuity and other little things that might pop up. I'm writing this really strangely and I'm trying to catch all the errors without a beta or proofreader. So when I have the time, I'll probably go back and adjust a few hiccups in previous chapters. Just a heads-up. :3**

 **Tl;dr, I hope I did a good job, please enjoy this offering for an** ** _outstanding_** **character. Who doesn't belong to me. Nor does the gorgeous god that plays him. (And yes, I'd sell my soul to change that)**

 **Anyhow, the chapter we've all been waiting for! Whoo!**

* * *

The captain's quarters where what I expected and yet not. I wasn't surprised by the elegant and well-made furniture that graced the room, the heavy oak desk covered with charts, books, letters and other items, the incredibly detailed map covering the wall behind it, nor the lovely bay of glass windows filling the wall across from me, illuminating the room with filtered light from the afternoon sun. The settee in the middle of the floor seemed also to fit, along with the plush chairs placed with it on the thick rug covering the floor. What did surprise me was the huge bookcase covering the wall to the left of the doorway, absolutely filled with books, and that all the furniture and fittings of the room were of a dark, well-oiled mahogany, giving the room a cozy and dark, yet masculine, feel. Well, it felt cozy to me, I'd always liked dark, homey places. Reíno, on the other hand, who was practically vibrating with nervousness, jumped slightly as the door in the far left wall abruptly opened and the stern-looking figure from before strode out.

I didn't know if I was particularly happy about being right that the mouthwateringly attractive individual from before was indeed the captain, but I did know that the moment he stepped into the room, I felt a weird tickle of electricity skitter across my skin. _What-the-fuck-is-that?!_

The captain strode over to us, throwing a terse phrase in Reíno's direction, who answered quietly. Probably why were we late? I didn't have a chance, beginning to panic when the captain jerked his head towards the door, dismissing Reíno.

Reíno bowed, brushing a comforting hand against my arm as he quit the quarters.

And unfortunately, there was nothing between me and the dark, piercing gaze of the captain as he stood in front of me, scanning my form in silence, noting everything.

My eyes flickered over his face, and with an electric jolt, I was amazed again at just how attractive he was, and surprised at my unexpected reaction for a few reasons. For one, he was much older than I'd thought, at least somewhere in his late thirties, far more mature than my meager twenty-five. His hair was straight black with no signs of silvering anytime soon, but the slight creases at the corners of his eyes and the deep grooves around his mouth indicated age, though he bore it extraordinarily, disgustingly well.

Another reason his sheer magnetism surprised me was that his features were so strong, so heavy, that they should have made him unappealing, and on anyone else, they probably would have. Yet somehow, miraculously and unfairly, the end result was an extremely sexy Spaniard that appeared to spend the majority of his time being tetchy.

Which was good, because I doubted my knees would be able to survive if he smiled, or heaven forbid, laughed.

After my initial inspection, I couldn't help noting his immaculate appearance. It had always amazed me how some people could look so well put together, whereas I looked like a frizzy potato freshly rolled out of bed.

"I welcome you aboard the _Silent Mary_ , and I apologize for not having a moment of your time sooner," he said, his deep, lilting accent even more hypnotic when he wasn't shouting at his men.

"You're busy, I understand," I managed to crack out over a dry tongue. There was something beneath his proud, civilized veneer, something that felt like I was being watched by an apex predator, lulling its prey into a false sense of safety before it pounced. And it was making me freak out.

I'd never before been subject to "feeling things" about people, being more than a little antisocial and poor with human interactions, but with him I was feeling more "things" than I thought possible from another human being.

He sketched a polite bow, but somehow it came across as mocking, as if he was barely tolerating my presence. "I am Capitán Armando Salazar."

I didn't know how to respond. Shaking hands wasn't a thing yet, I couldn't curtsy to save my life and I was pretty sure that bowing back was going to be stupid.

A quick image of me saluting and shouting "Heil!" flashed through my brain and my panicked giggle almost escaped before I quickly swallowed it and settled for nodding my head politely. "My name is Blue. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Captain."

He straightened and something in his eyes or his expression gave me the impression that any of my story that had reached his ears had been met with doubt and skepticism. _Dis gonna be fun…not._

He motioned for me to precede him to a table in the corner with dishes on it laid out for two, and I could feel my limbs weakly trembling with nervousness. This was not going to end well, and the panic was feeding into the anxiety in a vicious cycle. I hadn't eaten real food in days, and now I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to eat anything.

"Please. Sit."

I took one of the chairs and nervously paused when he stood behind me to push it in. Not only was it a rare etiquette that I was unused to, but the large, unknown variable standing behind me was radiating an aura that made my skin itch and my stomach clench, making me feel like I needed to run to burn off nervous energy.

I had to remind myself to stay still when he gripped the back of the chair, but couldn't stop from jolting when his gloved hands inadvertently brushed my skin as he pushed my chair in.

He stepped back and I quietly thanked him as he took his seat, fixing his gaze on me with piercing intensity. He gestured to the food, dishes which I had no name for, and said "Eat. We will talk shortly."

My inner voice started running around in circles, squeaking out panicked laughter as we slowly began our descent into a nervous breakdown.

My stomach began to chew on my spine as the marvelous smell of the food before me began to permeate my haze of anxiety. Trying not to appear too desperate, I dished some each selection onto my plate, having no clue what I was eating and thinking I was probably better off not knowing.

I didn't even care that I was being observed as I took my first bite, the effort not to moan at the delicious flavor exploding on my tongue immense.

 _This is a far cry from moldy bricks and rattrap soup, oh-my-god-this-is-so-good!_

We ate in silence, both of us seemingly respecting the need to honor the cook's effort with our undivided attention instead of attending to the nasty matter of my past. All too soon, though, the meal was done and there was nothing to distract Capitán Salazar from beginning his inquisition.

The pleasant, lulling feel of a full stomach did help to soothe me, and I wasn't quite as eager to hide when the captain settled back and fixed me with his full attention once again. "I am quite curious as to how you found yourself aboard a pirate vessel, _señorita_. Would you be so kind as to impart your journey?"

Even though his request was phrased politely, I knew that any choice in the matter was an illusion. So I told him. Starting with falling asleep in my bed in "the Colonies", I remembered to say just in time with only a slight stutter, to waking up on the pirate ship, filled him in on what I knew about the _Bountiful_ , and then fell silent as he mulled it over. I felt bad not being able to tell him the entire truth, but I had a feeling he would be even less receptive of that than of me supposedly being a witch. I didn't tell him about me killing a man. I figured the evidence in my cell had said enough, unless he had questions.

I found myself staring out the window, noting it was quite dark outside, when he rose from his seat, jerking my attention back to him. The dark look on his face told me that something wasn't adding up to him, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

He strode to the window and clasped his hands behind his back, his intimidating frame stiff and almost radiating disapproval.

My throat spasmed as the tension ramped up a few knots. Disapproval was never a good thing.

"Do you think me slow-witted?" his deep voice rumbled with a menacing bite. Nope, he wasn't happy at all.

"N-no!" I stuttered, wondering what the hell I'd said that pissed him off. "I don't think that at all-"

He whirled around, startling me with the abrupt movement, and moved to stand right in front of me, looming like some avenging angel. It was extremely disconcerting. "Then do not play me the fool, _señorita_ ," he hissed, drawing alarmingly close when he leaned down to look me in eye. "I know that you are lying to me, or at least not telling the entire truth. You will give me the answers I seek, or you will spend the entirety of our voyage in your cabin. _Comprendé_?"

I could only manage a mute nod, somewhat unsettled by the shivers skittering over my skin at him being so close, especially when he was this angry, but the fear of being locked back into a cell overthrew anything I might have found intriguing about that.

Seemingly satisfied with my nonverbal response, he stepped back to stand with his back to the windows. "What is your given name? And do not lie to me. Blue is not your initial name."

I shifted nervously. _Why'd I been such an idiot to give them a false name?_ "Isabeau Revanne." Then I remembered; I'd never much cared for my name, it sounded a lot more exotic than I warranted, like some Italian singer or something. Which was why I hated it, and why I went by other names whenever I could.

His expression didn't change, but I saw him pause briefly and I figured he was probably noticing the same thing I had, that my name totally did not fit my image. "Isabeau."

I nodded an affirmative, feeling a flush of skittering tingles slinking up my neck. _Holy. Shit. His accent makes it sound like something that belongs in a bedroom!_ And suddenly, my name didn't seem so irritating anymore. Funny, that...

Humming deep in his throat, that little jolt seeming to have broken through his ire, he returned to his seat. "Tell me, _Señorita_ Revanne," my name rolled off his tongue with an exotic lilt I had never heard before from his accent, and it sounded _delicious_ , "what happened to that animal in the cell we found you in?"

Awkward nervousness gone, I clenched my jaw and snapped my gaze back out the window before I said something I'd regret later, wishing that the chunk I'd taken out of that bastard had been lower. Much lower.

"He was going to rape Lady BeKatt," I spat out bluntly, feeling hatred beginning to roil as I recalled that last little visit. "I had a better chance of fighting him off, and I took it." And that was all I was going to say on the matter.

I glanced over to see him watching me with an unreadable expression. "What?"

He raised a brow at my brittle tone. "That was quite…brave of you."

"Quite stupid, you mean," I muttered under my breath, the peaceful feeling of a full stomach spoiled by the memory of tasting blood and raw, greasy flesh.

"Hmm. More so brave, I think. How did you manage to kill him? There was no weapon in your cell."

"I ripped his throat open with my teeth," I snapped, shoving away from the table and stalking over to the window, much like how he had. My breathing shuddered as I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the cool glass. It was disturbing to remember that I had almost died, had killed someone so that I didn't. _The survival instinct is a lovely animal, isn't it?_

I heard movement behind me and suddenly I could feel the heat of his body against my skin. "He was not yet dead," came his low voice from right next to me.

I opened my eyes, but didn't move. "What do you mean?"

"He still drew breath, barely, but that was quickly rectified. You may console yourself that you have not yet sullied your hands." He sounded almost like he was trying to comfort me, but I wasn't comforted. After all that, I hadn't even been able to finish the job! Although, it sounded like that wouldn't have been a problem for long.

I sucked in a deep breath and turned to face him, slightly taken aback at how close he stood. And that while Magda and Reíno lacked in height, Captain Salazar was almost head and shoulders taller than I was. _Yay, I'm short. All is right with the world._ But I didn't have the energy to be a smartass right now. Instead, I nodded tiredly, appreciating his gesture. "Thank you. Although now I would worry about what would have happened if you hadn't saved us."

He made a small noise I didn't know what was for. "He wouldn't have recovered from the wound, but _sí_ , it would not have ended well for either of you when the body was discovered…"

We both fell silent again, lost in our musings. I felt drained, too much too soon, and I could feel my bruises and aches becoming more painfully evident than since I first woke aboard the _Mary_.

A light touch on my collarbone jerked me back to the present with a start, and I froze in place as the Captain withdrew his gloved hand from where he had gently brushed my skin, feathering over the dark purple bruise. Anger darkened his brooding gaze and his jaw rippled when he clenched it.

"Those -" he spat out a word I didn't understand "should have suffered far more than they did." He muttered darkly in Spanish, probably more curses.

I cocked my head slightly at him. Was he angry that I had been hurt, or was he just angry about pirates in general? Or both? Or at me for some reason? I was so confused, and so tired of being confused…

He noticed my bewildered expression before I could hide it and let out a small sigh. "I am not angry with you. I am frustrated that these abominations are still plentiful enough on the seas that something like this can happen. No woman should have to endure what you and Lady BeKatt did."

Still piercing me with that studiously intelligent stare, he asked, "How did you come to be aboard the _Bountiful_?"

I shifted uncomfortably. _Careful…_ "I…I'm not sure. I think I might have been drugged, because I have no recollection of paying for passage on the _Bountiful_. I just woke up in one of the cabins."

" _Señora_ BeKatt did say your sleep was unnatural when you were discovered," he mused, apparently a little satisfied by that answer.

Stepping around me, he walked over to the bookcase and scanned over it, looking for something. "You are welcome to remain aboard the _Silent Mary_ until we make for a friendly port, which should be in about two months. We will be restocking sooner, but I would not suggest disembarking there. In the meantime, any and all conveniences shall be made available for you during your stay. You are my guest, and shall be treated as such." He murmured something under his breath as he pulled out a thick leather book from one of the bottom shelves. Pulling something else from the cabinet next to it, he returned to stand in front of me. "If you happen to remember anything more about how you came to be aboard the _Bountiful_ or anything else you wish to impart, do so _por favor_. Upon our next meeting I have more questions, but I believe I have taxed you enough tonight. And you made a request for drawing materials, no?"

He held out the leather book and what I realized was a small kit with pencils, erasers and a sharpener to me. I was sure I looked like an idiot, but my vision appallingly blurred as I gently took the items, dumbstruck by his kindness. Through my tears I was desperately trying to squeeze back, I flipped open the cover and managed to make out that it was an empty logbook. One of _his_ logbooks.

I jerked my head up to see him watching me carefully. I managed to choke out a watery thank you, squeezing the logbook against my chest. Even in 2018, a hardback leather book like this would have been expensive, never mind now.

His mouth twitched into a small smile and it completely changed his stern features from handsome to downright breathtaking. I felt a small punch to the gut at the sight and wished I was still sitting. The man was seriously bad for a girl's knees.

"You are quite welcome, _señorita_. It is time for you to return to your cabin. You need rest. _Ven, te veré afuera_ " He gestured for me to follow him towards the door.

I followed, rolling my eyes at his broad back. Why was it that everyone was flipping their shit about "resting" and "wounds" and such? I had a few bruises, but wasn't like I had tried to play catch with a cannonball. Although, I could use to the respite to charge my emotional batteries. Those were pretty drained, I'll admit. Probably why I had turned into a watering pot. I wasn't too worried about it being hormones, I just finished my period before this hell started and high-stress situations for a prolonged time made it even longer before the next round. Which was good, cuz I so didn't want to deal with that emotional, bloody roller-coaster whilst here.

Surprisingly, Magda was waiting outside the door when the Captain opened it. I'd expected Reíno, but I didn't mind, happy to see the mischievous Spaniard. I felt better having eaten a real meal and was pretty sure I could take anything he dished out in stride.

Magda gave me a brief smile, quickly turning to the Captain to exchange rapid-fire Spanish between them. I tuned them out for a moment, looking down at the Captain's gifts. He came across as a man who didn't part lightly with things he considered his. But I appreciated them very much. Already my mind was clamoring with designs for ferocious creatures and aliens for my headworld, ready to be put to paper.

The Captain stepped aside, jolting me out of my imaginary menagerie, and gestured for me to join Magda outside of his cabin. "I should like you to attend me tomorrow evening as well, if you are feel well enough."

Again, the illusion of choice was in the phrasing, but I understood it for the iron request it was. I dipped my head tiredly at him, ready for bed. "I look forward to it." _Oh, joy, round two with El Capitán. Fun times._ _At least he's seemed to have chilled out some._

He said a few short words to Magda, then bid me goodnight, closing the door with a sharp click. I looked at Magda and blinked slowly, suddenly exhausted from parrying with the Captain.

Magda gave me a knowing look. "He demands excellence, but I think he likes you, hm?"

I jolted, missing a step and almost careened into the wall. I glanced up sharply just in time to see Magda fix an innocent smile on his face. "How do you figure that?"

I heard Magda murmur my phrase under his breath, trying to figure out what I meant, but I was too startled to care about the slip. "Why do you think that?" I rephrased, wanting to know what he meant by that statement.

"Ah. You're still aboard, no? And not in a cell either. But the chief reason I think is because," he leaned close and gave me a sly grin, "he gave you a gift. 'Tis a rare event by the _capitán_."

So my hunch was right. It was a rarity for the Captain. I would have loved the logbook anyway, but now it held even more sentiment. I hugged it tighter and we walked in silence back to my cabin.

* * *

 **Translations:** (courtesy of Google Translate)

 _Ven, te veré afuera -_ ( ** _Come, I will see you out)_**

 **So, there we are! First meeting between our intrepid heroes! *is smacked upside the head* *clears throat* First meeting between our wayward traveler and one infamous Spanish Captain! One huge concern I have is that I won't be able to accurately portray his personality enough, in a way that fits his image, so if it comes across as too...something, I apologize. He's not the typical type of character that I write, so I did the best that I could. Again, I apologize for any inaccuracies, historical or otherwise, I just wrote this for the fun of it and because my muse won't let me work on anything else until I do so. :1**

 **Hope you enjoyed it! Until next time! *snaps fingers and vanishes in a flash of light***


	4. Chapter 4

***gasps* What's this? Another update? So soon? Yes! This is what can happen when I have more than two seconds to rub together. And a full night's sleep. XD**

 **Okiedoke, short chapter! Sorry about that, and promise the next one is much longer! This one's short for pacing reasons, and just filler featuring crew, but the next chapter is gonna be more juicy. Cross my heart!**

 **Alright, alright, Salazar doesn't belong to me (would still sell my soul), but the cook (who's name is Miguel, very nice man) does. Don't ask me where he came from, he just kind of appeared as I was writing, and I actually find him a fun character to write. I'm sad I don't get to use him much. :(**

* * *

With the logbook for me to empty my whirling thoughts into, the nightmares quickly diminished. The book I had been writing before I was swept through the whirlwind of time still clamored in my brain, calling for me to complete it. I couldn't remember all the details for everything, but most of the gist I was able to recall and started putting pencil to paper again, wishing I had the paper copy of what I'd already written.

It struck me later the next day as I was scribbling down some information about one of the alien species in it, that people here pretty much only wrote in cursive. So could they read print? I wanted to test the theory, but wasn't quite ready for the questions that would trigger. I _was_ curious, though. I could read and write both (was a bit rusty with cursive), but I wanted to know how different the two styles were.

I stepped out of my cabin later that day, wanting to get my bearings aboard this massive ship. I received only a few stares, probably due mostly to my male garments and short pixie cut, but was ignored for the most part and I was good at staying out of the way. I made it my primary objective to find the ship's head as soon as I could, and was surprised when it wasn't quite as archaic as I had feared. It certainly didn't hold a candle to what I was used to as a bathroom, but it wasn't the Dark Ages either, for which I was grateful.

What served as the kitchen mess was where I stumbled upon next. The cook was a large, heavyset man who looked rather terrifying, but ushered me into his kitchen with a gruff manner before I could run and sat me down in front of some freshly baked bread, indicating I was to eat it.

I stared at him nervously as he began bustling about the kitchen, zipping about so energetically I wondered if he got dizzy. Deciding it was somewhat safe, I bit into the bread, almost moaning at the savory taste and consumed it in four bites. Soon as I was done, a small bowl of soup was plonked on the table and the cook continued bustling about. Greedily, I dug in, almost missing the small cabin boy who slipped in a few minutes later. The boy saw me and froze midstep, staring at me with an expression akin to horror.

The cook saw him and smacked him upside the head, speaking harshly in Spanish and the boy scurried by, grabbing things from different shelves and disappeared through a different door.

" _Ay,_ think never seen girl before," the cook muttered in an almost unintelligibly thick accent as he swept by, shaking his head.

"Is it really that strange having a girl on a ship?" I asked, curious to learn more about the ship and its crew. And its captain- _No! Quit that!_ I jerked back to the real world.

He shrugged beefy shoulders and stirred something that smelled spicy. "On other ships? No, but this, the _Maria_ , _sí_ , is strange. Is, what you call, fighting ship, yes?"

"Warship," I translated under my breath. The cook shot me a glance and swept a rag over his shoulders, moving to sit across from me with a discerning look.

"And in kitchen? Very strange. Would not find any...eh, _lady_ in kitchen."

I barked a short laugh. "I'm probably the farthest thing from a lady you've ever met."

"You speak different, not _Español_ , not…Queen's English," he said in a questioning tone after a long pause, peering at me with sharp eyes and a raised brow.

"American," I clarified, wondering how bad that was. I really wished I had better recall of my world history, but unfortunately my elective that I had been stuck with was American history. It had been so dry it was like eating a spoonful of ground cinnamon.

"Ah, American, explains much. Not… _usual_ hearing term like "warship" from girl." He leaned back, still staring at me like I was a bug on a pin.

I really appreciated the food, but wasn't so sure about the interrogation I was getting in return. Then I remembered about the meal I'd had yesterday with the Captain. "I wanted to thank you for the meal I had with the Captain. It was very delicious."

The cook didn't smile, but his scowl lessened some and his eyes brightened. "You much different than English, she does nothing but complain, food not hot, food not good, is poorly made, not fresh, _bah_ ," he spat, sneering at Lady BeKatt's complaints.

I blew a derisive snort. "I don't know what she's complaining about, she was eating the same thing I was for days on end."

"Which was?" he asked, leaning forward with morbid interest.

"Moldy bricks and rattrap soup," I said with a shudder. I would die happy if I would never have to think about choking down that slimy mess again.

The cook mimicked my shudder and gave a small gag. " _Bastardos_."

I rolled my tongue over my teeth to rid my mouth of the tactile memory and vaguely wondered what I was going to do with my time until we hit port. I was going to quickly become bored out of my skull again, and unlike Lady BeKatt, I had no desire to take out my boredom on the hapless crew.

I perked up as I got an idea. "Do you have anything you need help with in here? I'm a quick learner and would like something to do, if I wouldn't be in your way."

Blinking in disbelief, he frowned at me. "You want work…here?"

I nodded. "I'll clean pots if need be, just want to keep busy. I can't stand being bored."

He gaped at me for a long moment, then shook his head and looked around, muttering something in Spanish. "No work now, but if still want, come back after night meal. Will have things to do then."

Meal finished, I was shooed good-naturedly out of his kitchen and back to wandering around on the ship. I got turned around a few times, but not completely lost. I was very pleased with my sense of direction and started to have fun exploring the _Silent Mary_.

My fun was cut short when I found myself out on the open deck and was almost immediately waylaid by another Spaniard, this one wearing an eyepatch over one eye and a stern expression on his older features. He didn't seem happy at all to have a female scurrying underfoot. I was informed in no uncertain terms that I needed to return to my cabin before I caused disruption to the crew.

I swallowed my sneering comeback and instead used all of my self-control to remain polite as I was practically marched towards the door Reíno had led me out the other day. I caught sight of the Captain standing on the deck above, looking resplendent as he steered his vessel against the waves and wind. He didn't see me, but I was fine with that. I liked being invisible, but on a ship full of men, my camouflage was a little shoddy.

The Spaniard, who wasn't polite enough to give me his name, escorted me to my cabin and ordered me to stay put. My control slipped and I stuck my tongue out at his back as he went to return to deck.

I heard a snicker from further down the hallway, but when I looked, I didn't see anybody. Shrugging it off, I retreated to my cabin to entertain myself for however long until I was collected for dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alrighty! New chapter! I'm not proofreading these as well as I did previously, so I'm sorry if y'all find a mistake. First things first, thank you to those who left reviews, it gives me warm fuzzies like you wouldn't believe (:3) and the world's dumbest grin on my face for days on end, and a shoutout to all the silent readers lurking about, I just wanna say this; thank you for reading. I was once a lurker, silently from the shadows, and here I am, braving the internet to post my own work, to share it with you guys. I know you don't say much, if anything at all, and I don't mind in the slightest. It just makes me happy to know that someone, somewhere, stumbles upon it and enjoys reading it. So thank you again. I just want you to know that you are appreciated. ^.^**

 **With that said, let's get to the meat of the matter!**

 **(Yeah, yeah, Pirates/Salazar/Lesaro don't belong to me [though if they did, rest assured I'd have done a fair sight better than that last fiasco...], but Isabeau and Lady BeKatt do [rude trash that she is, don't ask me why she's in here, I have no clue :/])**

* * *

The knock on my door was a welcome relief from the boredom I found myself with. The logbook was already a quarter full, both sides of the pages, and I was in dire need of a change in scenery, not to mention a distraction both from the uncomfortableness of the bindings and the constant worrying about the upcoming dinner with the captain. I still couldn't figure out why there was some odd hint of anticipation upon seeing him again. I put it off that I found him disturbingly attractive...

Unfortunately, the man on the other side of the door I could have done without.

The one-eyed Spaniard from earlier had a slightly sour look this time as he gave me a forcedly polite bow. "I am Lieutenant Lesaro, to escort _Señorita_ Revanne to _El_ _Capitán's_ quarters."

So the captain had told him my given name. Fine with me.

I cocked my head to the side and gave him a hard stare, wanting to get this mess out in the open. "You don't like me, do you? Is it because I'm female? Or because I'm essentially an uninvited guest?"

Lieutenant Lesaro startled, seeming surprised that I had been impolite enough to call out the displeasure he was radiating. I didn't care, I didn't want to have to be constantly worried about being stabbed in the back. Sure, they were supposed to be "gentlemen" and all, but I didn't know this one from Adam. And I got the impression he didn't like me at all. Which could be dangerous.

He looked at me with a disapproving air. "It is not right for a woman to be wandering about aboard a warship. It is not proper and I do not approve of your actions."

I mulled that over for a moment. "So I'm supposed to sit in my cabin, all day, all night, with a bolted window?" I tried not to sound like I was whining, but I was extremely irritated by this man's level of douche.

He opened his mouth to retort, then paused as he apparently realized just what it was he was asking of me. His lips grew pinched as he straightened, which was impressive since he already stood ramrod straight. "You may venture outside of the cabin only with an escort. It would be a shame…if you were to be injured in your solitary explorations."

Reckless rage flared sky high.

Next thing I knew I was nose to fairly large nose with the man, baring my teeth. He wasn't nearly as scary as the Captain, but he was imposing enough that didn't want to take him on. Still, I would be damned if I rolled over without leaving teeth marks. I hadn't come this far from that hellhole of a prison just to be threatened by this arrogant prick. "Was that a threat?" I asked softly, showing off my pretty, sharp canines, more than capable of tearing through soft flesh like so much steak.

He glanced down at my teeth, and I wondered if it was because "ladies" weren't supposed to show their teeth or if he had seen what I was capable of doing with mine.

His eyes flicked back up to stare hard at me and he seemed to be rethinking some matters. "You…are not a typical miss, are you."

I made an animalistic noise that started at the back of my throat and rolled down to rumble in my chest, letting the statement be rhetorical.

Taking a quick breath, I recognized I'd need to be the one to offer the olive branch first before this devolved into ugliness. "I stay out of the way, I'm not causing trouble, and I'm not distracting anyone from their duties," I said quietly, backing up a step out of his face, then added hesitantly, "But if you ask me to…I won't leave my cabin."

It would be almost torturous to sit on my hands and do nothing all day, but I didn't need to make enemies while I was all but trapped on this mobile island, no matter how much I wanted to bite this asshat. And it took a serious effort to allow him the power to essentially imprison me again.

Lesaro clenched his jaw, but after a long, quiet moment, he relaxed just a hair and stepped back, giving me a terse nod. "See that you don't cause disruptions, and you may continue about freely."

"Thank you," I said on a deep exhale, relieved beyond measure that he wasn't going to make me stay in my cabin.

"The Captain is waiting." He stiffly spun about and marched off, not waiting to see if I followed him or not.

I briefly entertained the idea of being a bitch and staying put, but that wouldn't be conducive to the Lieutenant remaining forthcoming with his permissions, so I blew out a sigh and jogged after him.

He was waiting for me when I turned the corner, raising an eyebrow as I trotted into view.

"What?" I asked, though I pretty sure I knew.

"I was thinking you might perhaps wish to briefly remain in your cabin," he said as he continued onwards with me following along.

"I thought about it," I admitted. "But that wouldn't be a nice thing to do to someone you just met." It was a slight poke at how he had treated me now and earlier, and I could tell the dart hit when he grimaced slightly.

"…indeed," he murmured hesitantly. Maybe he wouldn't be such a douche here on out? One could only hope...

Lesaro remained perfectly polite for the duration of his escorting duty, conversing me as little as possible but yet politely, and paused before knocking on the captain's door. Turning to me, I was slightly taken aback by the worried expression he wore. Worried about what? For whom? Me?

"I…wish to warn you," he cautioned quietly, "it 'tis not just you and the Captain tonight, Lady BeKatt is dining as well."

You know it's sad when a man who doesn't even approve of your very existence feels it's necessary to warn you about impending doom.

"Oh, God," I groaned, drooping pathetically. I heard a strangled cough from Lesaro's direction and shot him a dark look. _Is he seriously laughing at me?_

He swallowed what suspiciously looked like a smile and leaned down to whisper, "I must ask, what was she like whilst you were imprisoned?"

I cringed at the unbidden memory. "Let's just say that if I had to pick between dying of dehydration and spending one more hour locked up with her, I'd pick the dehydration. Every time."

He winced in abject sympathy and brusquely knocked on the cabin door. "Hopefully it won't be as bad as that?"

A deep voice called out and I opened the door, muttering gloomily as I passed Lesaro, "Let's not hold our breath."

He smothered a chuckle and shut the door behind me, essentially locking me in the room with both a lion and a viper. I took a quick look at Captain Salazar, looking extremely sharp in military dress as he stood in politeness, and changed my mind. Nope, not a lion. He was too dark and menacing for that. More like a wolf or a panther.

The viper part, on the other hand…

"So kind of you to join us," Lady BeKatt smiled thinly, her animosity poorly concealed, probably at having to share the Captain's presence.

I resisted heaving a sigh as I went to sit down at the table, slightly anxious, but not quite as bad as I'd been yesterday. I jumped when the Captain moved behind my chair to push me in again, having forgotten about that etiquette. I didn't much care for it, since it placed such a large, ominous presence directly in my blind spot, but I figured that he didn't need surprise to do anything of a dire nature.

What did surprise me was the heavy brush of a large hand between my shoulder blades, out of Lady BeKatt's view, and there was no way for that to have been an accident. He had done it on purpose. But why? I glanced up, but there wasn't anything in his expression to give him away as he otherwise ignored me.

I shivered from the warmth tingling along my spine, a profound difference of my otherwise clammy skin. I was usually cold, temperatures that were comfortable to me turned everyone else into gelatinous puddles of goo. But he generated heat like a bonfire, and it felt extremely nice to have a little bit of it seeping into my bones, even if it was accompanied by little tingles skittering across my skin.

But still, I'd _never_ been affected by another person's touch even remotely like this, and it was more than a little unnerving. It made me glad that my shirt had been between his ungloved hand and my skin. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what I'd be feeling if it hadn't been. But butterflies were flickering in my stomach, and I couldn't help the sinking feeling that it was more than just eyecatching handsomeness that drew me unwillingly towards this force of nature.

He resumed his seat and the meal began, though I noted that there was no complaining of the cook's skills forthcoming.

I snickered silently at that, but I sincerely appreciated the man's skill with food. I was typically a really picky eater, and even though rattrap soup had a way of changing a person's palate, I still found myself enjoying pretty much everything on the table. And even Lady BeKatt's snide comments weren't enough to spoil it.

And all the while, those weird little tingles kept dancing along my skin from where he had touched me.

The strange feelings I was experiencing made me extremely uncomfortable, and I was cracking my joints more than I ever had, even when I was at my most stressed during my job back home. I rolled my shoulders uneasily and fidgeted, trying to relieve the nervous cramping of my muscles. Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore and strained my neck, the vertebrae popping three loud cracks one way and two the other, indicating I was under a great deal of tension (normally it only popped once either way and rarely in the same stretch).

Both the Captain and Lady BeKatt shot me looks, the former with a quirked eyebrow and bemusement, the latter a horrified glare, but I didn't care. It felt good and helped release most of the tension in my neck.

As the meal progressed, most of the conversation carrying on without any needed input from me, I grew more and more absorbed in my reflections upon the captain.

I was pretty sure I knew what it was about him that made me so nervous. I had never met anyone quite like him before, men from my time being soft and puppy-like, or incredibly dumb, especially ones close to my age. For the most part, just dumb. But he wasn't. He wouldn't have gotten to where he was otherwise.

He was also extremely masculine and physically fit, his older features defaulting to stern, but the few glimpses of other emotions that peaked through brought a youthfulness to him that was extremely easy on the eyes. Really, it should be illegal that this man was as hot as he was. His aura of command was an almost physical thing and it made my skin prickle with something I couldn't identify, but I knew that being around him put me so far out of my comfort zone, I near about had a panic attack whenever I was the focus of his full attention.

Abruptly, I realized what it basically translated to. All the 'men' I'd encountered weren't really men at all. They were still boys. He was not. He was, without a doubt, a man. And my character level wasn't high enough to take on this boss.

I shook myself and brutally squashed any lingering tingles of attraction. Or tried to. In my experience, limited as it was, men like him were always taken, gay, or fictional. Since he obviously wasn't fictional, that left the other two, though I very much doubted he was gay. Either way, he wasn't on the menu. Didn't mean I couldn't look, though, as I snuck another glance. Hot dayum, he was fine…

The Captain began his inquiries to Lady BeKatt shortly after we were through eating and it appeared that she was flirting with him as she answered, but I just pulled a face that they didn't see and ignored them. As far as I was concerned, it was her turn on the chopping block. If she wanted to try tugging on the panther's tail while she was at it, go for it. I wasn't that stupid.

Although it did become increasingly uncomfortable as she grew more and more flirtatious, Britain and Spain being mortal enemies for a long while apparently no hindrance to her aspirations. But it was to the captain's credit that he held quite a bit of appeal…

I was dozing a bit while waiting for the aural torture to end when Lady BeKatt made a comment that caught my attention.

"Salazar…I knew I recognized that name! You're the one they call _el Matador del Mar_ , the Butcher of the Sea, are you not?"

I blinked fully awake in time to see the Captain nod an affirmative. "I am indeed."

Lady BeKatt let out a small laugh. "So that's what you were doing in the vicinity. You're the infamous pirate hunter! Why, your exploits have reached even the ears of the ballrooms of Britain itself!"

He smiled slightly, but by the narrowing of his eyes I had a feeling he didn't particularly take that as a compliment. My gaze tracked to the table as I thought back to those final moments aboard the pirate ship. If he had that much of a reputation, then surely they had realized who he was. How stupid were they to have tried taking on a renowned pirate hunter in command of a vessel such as the Silent Mary?

I looked up to see him watching me carefully, his expression unreadable. "Does that unsettle you?" he asked evenly, yet there was an undercurrent in his tone.

Lady Bekatt laughed delightedly. "Unsettle me? Good Lord, no! In fact, I'm rather pleased to have made your acquaintance!"

She continued nattering on, but I ignored her, too focused on Captain Salazar, who had yet to blink as he tilted his head slightly, still watching me with that oddly neutral look.

Then I understood; he hadn't been asking her. He'd been asking _me_. But why would he care if it unsettled me? Not that it did. I was very happy that there was someone like him out there to keep that pestilence from spreading.

I shook my head at him slowly, smiling timidly as I ducked my head, uncomfortable in meeting his gaze. No, it didn't unsettle me at all. I glanced back up through my lashes, hoping he'd shifted his attention-

He was still studying me.

He didn't smile back, but his expression relaxed and he nodded as if satisfied before returning his attention to Lady BeKatt's side of the conversation, practically ignoring me as if I had never existed.

I blinked at that bit of weird. Why had he wanted my opinion? I shook myself and stared out the window, ignoring the "grownups".

It was dark outside by the time the Captain rose, motioning for Lady BeKatt to take his arm as he escorted her towards the door. I couldn't stop my yawn as I got up and followed them. It was probably inexcusably rude, but I was tired and still had dishes to clean and they couldn't see me yawn. I wasn't going to slack off now that I had something to keep my hands from being idle.

He bid us both good night, his focus lingering on me with a strange expression lurking in his eyes that I couldn't read, but as soon as his door closed, I put it from my mind. I was surprised to see Lieutenant Lesaro waiting outside the cabin, but when he offered his arm to Lady BeKatt, I realized he was there to escort her, probably back to her cabin. He was having to dance attendance to her? No wonder the poor man hated me, especially if he thought I was going to be like that stuck-up blowhard.

I had no desire to listen to Lady BeKatt recount and disassemble the entire evening, so I made my excuses and escaped down to the mess, the cabin boy from earlier almost plowing into the wall when I appeared in the kitchen.

He scurried away under the lash of the towel from the cook, who told him off roughly in Spanish before turning to me. Before I could even make my apologies, he'd already cut me off. "Aye, figured capitán kept you. Dishes done, but got something else if still want work."

He motioned for me to follow him and pulled out a crate full of tattered books, pages upon pages without bindings tucked loosely around them. "These _recetas_. Need organizing. Doesn't matter if can't read. Order by first letter of title."

Yanking out a few pages, he pointed to the neatly penned title of each page, all in Spanish, but I could understand the first letters enough to alphabetize them by what was written, and recognized the layout of the writing to realize that they were recipes.

"Leave in books or loose, just order. Got it?" he asked, seeming pleased when I nodded my understanding.

He swept off and I busied myself with alphabetizing papers, something I enjoyed doing. It was faintly reminiscing of my job and it felt nice to bury myself in the familiar for a change. Suddenly feeling energized, I happily hummed under my breath as I breathed in the comforting scent of old paper.

* * *

 **Zomg, I've completely lost my marbles... I'd gotten turned around and almost posted the segment for the next chapter instead... But hey! I kept my promise! It's a longer chapter! :) And we get more tasty Spanish smexiness! MUAHAHAHAHA...sorry. (not sorry ;P)**

 **Now if you'll excuse me, I was supposed to be in bed almost three hours ago, but wanted you peeps to enjoy this, so now I'ma go crash. Apologies for any oopses, very tired. Enjoy, my lovelies!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Whoo! We cookin' with gas now! After we hit the weekdays, though, fair warning; the lovely rapid updates are gonna slow. Between work, home, and sleep, I just won't have the mental capacity to do everything. :( So, without further ado, more filler! (Well, we gotta flesh it out, we can't have just _everything_ happen all at once. I mean, we technically _could_ , but it'd be super weird.)**

 **Again, Pirates - Disney, yap, yap, and Monster Hunter is Capcom's brainchild. More about that below, if you're interested. ^.^**

* * *

It was much later when Reíno appeared in the small supply room with me, startling me so bad I dropped the handful of pages I was holding. I had almost finished with the box and the cook, whose name I eventually gleaned was Miguel, had left me some food so I didn't die of starvation.

"Holy shit! Make some noise, or I'll put a fucking bell on you!" I snapped in irritation as I grabbed all the papers and set about reorganizing them.

Reíno didn't say anything and I looked up to see him staring at me with a wide-eyed expression. Then I realized what I'd just said.

I closed my eyes with a groan. And just that easily, I'd fucked up. The soft tap of the door pulled my attention back and I opened my eyes to see Reíno had closed the door and was standing in front of it with his arms crossed, a weird look stamped on his face.

"I knew it!" he hissed quietly, not wanting to draw any potential eavesdroppers' attention. "I knew something was off about you! Where on earth did you come from that you speak like that? What are you doing down here?" he added confusedly, as if suddenly realizing where I was.

I tapped my teeth together as I quickly finished alphabetizing Miguel's recipes. "Organizing Miguel's recipes. And not here. My cabin."

He frowned, but let me pass him without any protest as I told Miguel I was done. Me and Reíno were both shoved out of the kitchen and told to stop working so hard as the door was shut in our faces.

I wrinkled my nose and shot Reíno a funny look, poking fun at being kicked out of working. He gave me a funny look in return and I snickered quietly before he grabbed my sleeve and tugged me along behind him as he moved at a fast clip towards my cabin. Apparently he was eager for some answers. Me on the other hand, I was not eager for the problems that this was going to cause, and the anxiety was making me shake.

I was slightly breathless when he urged me through my door and clicked it shut after him, pausing for a second to inspect my logbook that I had left open on a drawing of a nargacuga, a cat-like monster from a game that I loved.

"What on earth?" he murmured, staring at the feline wyvern in bewilderment.

"It's called a nargacuga. It's characterized by its piercing roar and lightning quick movements, also by the red streak that trails after its eyes when it's enraged. It's weak to fire or thunder," I rattled off nervously as I curled up on my bunk, "It's not a very good sketch, I'm pretty sore at drawing from memory and I suck at detailing."

"Such a creature exists?" Reíno asked, sidetracked by the drawing. He picked up the logbook for a closer look and at my gesture, sat down on the bed next to me.

"No, it's…" I stopped, trying to think of how to explain a video game in a time when electricity didn't even exist. Yet another mark against time travel to whenever I was. I still hadn't asked, and at this point, I _really_ didn't want to know.

"It's?" Reíno prompted, flipping through the pages to my other drawings, pausing at a few that were of my alien designs from my headworld.

I made a frustrated noise. "It's really hard to explain-"

"Try anyway," he interrupted, shooting me a condescending look.

I glared at him, not impressed in the slightest. "I was _going_ to before you cut me off."

He paused, then ducked his head sheepishly. "Oh. Sorry."

I rolled my eyes, huffing a laugh. "I'll do my best to answer your questions, but you'll have to stretch your imagination."

Hearing the underlying seriousness in my tone, Reíno put down the logbook and turned to give me his undivided attention.

"Okay, my name is Isabeau, not Blue, and when I woke up about a week ago, I was in my time. The 21st century." I held my breath and waited.

Reíno's eyes bugged in shock and his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, giving an unflattering fish impression, but I suppose that was to be expected.

"Y-you're lying!" he sputtered. "You have to be!"

"Believe me, I wish I was," I snorted, leaning back to prop myself against the wall, pulling my knees up into my chest. "That'd make my life a whole lot easier versus the alternative."

"B-but, but…it's not impossible!" He bolted to his feet and began to pace, spluttering in Spanish and gesturing wildly.

I watched him with an amused expression and waited for him to come to grips with it. I'd already had my panic attack. Then a thought skittered into my head and I frowned. _How would the captain take this? He's bound to figure out something's not right. Would he have me executed? Or imprisoned again?_

The dark train of thought trigger my stomach to churn with a painful clench and I gasped, curling inwards at the sharp pang.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up to see Reíno hovering over me, having been drawn by my distress. I gave him a weak smile, not wanting to add to his problems and mine. "Fine, just worrying myself to death."

He looked me over worriedly, slowly reaching out to lightly brush my cheek. "You're very pale. Are you sure you're alright?"

I blinked, surprised by the touching, but I didn't take offense at the invasion of my personal space. He seemed to realize what he'd done at the same time I did and hurriedly withdrew, muttering apologies.

Shaking my head, I reached out and patted his arm, smiling slightly at his surprised look. "It's okay. I'm doing better than I was. You're fine."

He still looked a little guilty. " _Señor_ Magda told me about your…request. I should have-"

"It's fine," I interjected. "I don't much care for people touching me, but it's not going send me over the edge. Stop kicking yourself and chill out."

That distracted him. "Chill…out?"

I wrinkled my nose at him with a grin. "Relax. Do you want to hear my story or not?"

He bobbed his head eagerly, and with a warning to keep quiet until I was done, I told him as much as I could remember, including all the details I hadn't told the captain (which I was sure would get me in trouble later), and was quite hoarse by the time I was done.

While Reíno was digesting that, I grabbed a quick drink and adjusted the chair still in my room so that it was closer to the bed and curled up in it. Reíno remained somewhat frozen on the bed, appearing to have trouble wrapping his head around the fact that I was severely in the wrong era.

"What…is the biggest difference…between this time and yours?" he asked haltingly, rubbing a hand over his face.

I thought for a quick moment before I said with conviction, "Electricity." _Among other things. God, I miss having music._

"Elec…tricity?" he asked, giving me a blank stare.

I bit my lip, trying to think of an easy way to put it. "Think…bottled lightning. Not really accurate, but it gives you an idea. It's used for almost everything where I'm from. From light sources to transportation to cooking food. Too bad we're still dependent on stupidly expensive gas 'cuz we're a dumb species," I added bitterly as an afterthought.

"Lightning, but not lightning…" he murmured quietly, frowning in puzzlement. I could all but see the gears whirling madly away in his brain.

"Sorry, as I said it's not a really accurate explanation," I muttered, wishing I'd paid a little more attention in shop class.

His expression cleared a little bit and he exclaimed slightly. "Bottled lightning! You are so advanced as to be able to control lightning? And what is…gas, did you call it?"

I grimaced faintly and shrugged. "Gas, or gasoline, actually, is what we mostly use to power our transportation when it's not wired to use electricity. It's more expensive that it needs to be, due to general inflation, and is not very efficient when compared to using what is called "clean energy", which is energy that we can consume without causing ill effects to the environment. The 21st century is more advanced in some areas, but we have most certainly regressed in others." Take a look at current pop culture, for one…

"Amazing…" his confusion was replaced with a look of awe and I backpedaled rapidly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

"It's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. We've also created weapons with the capability of destroying entire countries with the push of a button, making them inhospitable for hundreds of years." Not to mention the sheer stupidity of the world at large. It really was a wonder we hadn't killed ourselves off by now.

His awe slowly faded as that sank in, his brow furrowing in bewilderment. "But…why would you have such a weapon?"

I twisted my mouth in a rueful smile. "Human nature. To expand and advance, to make more powerful weapons before the other person does. Just because we can."

He gave me a pained look. "Regretfully, I can understand that."

We both fell silent, each trying to reel in our rampant thoughts. I rested my chin on my knees as I blurted out a thought that had just occurred to me. "Will you keep this quiet? Please?"

Reíno lifted his head and stared at me without understanding. "How do you mean?"

"Don't tell the Captain. I'm pretty sure he already hates me without this to push him over edge," I said, somewhat dejectedly. His obvious disapproval wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have that damn inability to think completely straight whenever he was near. It wasn't anything I could control, it just seemed to be a reaction to his presence, and I honestly didn't know what to make of it. Or of the man himself.

He scoffed, standing abruptly, the movement startling me. "He doesn't hate you at all, _señorita_. He is simply…unsettled by-"

"Women aboard his ship?" I cut in with a wry smirk, stomach slowly dropping to somewhere around the floor. _This isn't helping my worrying..._

"-unexpected passengers," he finished firmly. "He is not the superstitious sort to be bothered by women aboard a ship, even one such as the _Silent Mary_ , but he is slightly irritated by unexplained events."

"Such as me," I murmured, somewhat disheartened by this new information, for some strange reason.

"Such as you," he confirmed with a nod.

"Certainly doesn't make an effort to come across otherwise." I flexed my ears back and sighed, wishing there was a simple solution to this migraine. "So how do you think he'd feel about someone who more or less appeared out of thin air?"

Reíno on the other hand, seemed to have come to grips with my predicament rather quickly. "He probably won't believe you, but I think that once he sees just how…odd, you are, his opinion will change."

I stared at him. "So how come _you_ believe me?"

He opened his mouth to answer, and suddenly paused, his face flushing a ruddy color. "I…I've noticed…some…peculiarities."

Abruptly holding up a hand, I shook my head. "I don't want to know. I'm just glad you believe me and don't think I'm either crazy or a witch."

Reíno snorted and exclaimed, "If anybody who truly met you actually thinks that you're a witch, then they deserve to be shot. You are a very kind person, if slightly lacking in proper manners. You're no more of a witch than I am."

For a minute, I could do nothing but blink quickly to not start leaking. "Thank you, Reíno…"

He seemed to suddenly realize what he'd so vehemently claimed and his ears suddenly turned pink. "Yes, well, ahem, I gather you have questions about how certain items work?"

"Oh, yeah." I wiped my sleeve over my face as I sat up and went over to the dresser to pull out some of the bottles I'd used for washing. "Which one is which? Cuz I can't read Spanish," I stated flatly with a small twist of my lips.

Reíno barked out a laugh. "I apologize, that was a terrible misstep on my part. This one is for your hair, this one is for washing with, and the small one is for when you are done. Just rub it in into your skin. It's to help with odors from sweating and such."

"I had wondered about that," I muttered, glancing over to his hot uniform before turning back to the matter at hand with an embarrassed cough. _Oh, goodie, I get to live without deodorant. At least they bathe regularly, thank God._ "I have, uhm…so more…" I couldn't finish, it was so wrong to have to ask a guy these questions. "What can I use…for when it's that time of the month?" I blurted out in a rush.

Reíno remained silent, trying to figure it out, then jerked upright. "Oh! Ah, that. There's some cloths you can use for…when your monthly starts." He coughed too. "When you're done, just add it to the clothes that need washing."

"Thanks," I managed to squeeze out, not able to even look at him. I could fry an egg on my cheeks, even as I mentally slapped myself. It was simply a normal biological function, but still, having to ask some poor guy how it worked…

"I have three sisters," he said with a sheepish shrug, "Please do not be embarrassed by having to ask."

I shot him a wide-eyed look, my blush gradually ebbing to the lesser shade of lobster. "Three sisters? Wow, that's a lot of sharing."

"I was certainly quite looking forward to when I could join the Navy," he said, snorting disdainfully. "Do you have many siblings?"

"I'm an only child," I told him, beginning to be a little unsettled by all these questions about myself. "Mom only wanted one and I was it. It worked out for the best, though, I never liked to share and I was always my own best friend." Though, it sounded a little sad when I put it that way, but I was telling the truth. I had never been a lonely kid, my imagination too vivid for that.

Reíno seemed surprised by that little tidbit. "Wasn't that lonely?"

"Nope," I shrugged. "I had my mother and my grandparents."

"What about your father?" he asked, leaning forward with rapt attention at my unraveling life story, which seemed to interest him as much as being from the future did.

I sneered at that. "Don't know and quite frankly, don't care."

He pulled back a little at my distaste. "Bad blood, I assume?"

"As I said, don't know, don't care. He can jump off a cliff with a broken parachute and I wouldn't pause." The angry annoyance at my useless "father figure" made it easy to ask my next question. "Could you teach me how to shave? I don't much care for hairy legs and you use a straight razor in this time, I remember that."

He stared at me, bug-eyed. " _Dios mío,_ you have some very strange customs in your time."

I shook my head. "Not strange to me. The clothes you found me in? Those are basically what I could wear in public, and nobody wants to see hairy legs with shorts. Not on a girl, anyway. Plus shaving your armpits helps with the sweaty armpit smell."

Bursting into laughter and clapping at his horrified expression and dropped jaw, I bent over and poked him in good humor. "If you think that's bad, you should some of the girls that _I_ think need to revisit their wardrobe choices." A brief image of some of the horrors I'd seen at Walmart flashed through my mind and I shuddered, still snickering at how these men would deal with _that_ hot mess.

He continued to gape at me and I grinned at him. "Lot of things changed over the years, Reíno! Women can join the military, men can be housewives, same sex marriage, and that's just skimming the waters. You wouldn't believe most of it, even if you saw it."

I started laughing again at his dumfounded look and it felt good to laugh, about something actually funny for a change, not in black humor.

Shaking his head in bemusement, he muttered something in Spanish under his breath before addressing me in English. "Yes, I will…teach you how to shave…Good Lord…"

Still snickering at him, I stuck my tongue between my teeth and managed a thanks. But I was sincere in my desire to be rid of my hairiness. I shaved all year long and the prospect of letting the unfortunately dark hair on my legs and armpits grow out was _not_ appealing. And I _really_ didn't think that Lady BeKatt would be in any shape or form willing to help. So if Reíno was willing to help, I certainly wasn't going to refuse...it would be damned awkward, though, that was for sure.

I felt a yawn coming and I suddenly realized just how late it was. "Don't you have to get some rack time before your shift?"

He jolted upright, sending a hurried glance at my boarded up window as he spat out a curse. " _Mierda!_ Yes, and I still have things to take care of. I shall see you on the morrow."

"Wait!" I remembered he hadn't answered my question and hurriedly reached out to snatch his uniform sleeve before he could make it to the door. "Will you keep it a secret? Please?"

His lips thinned, but he nodded unhappily. "The Captain will not be pleased when he finds out," he warned even as I sighed in relief.

I so didn't want to even think about crossing that bridge, but unfortunately, I knew it was coming. I shook my head and promised, "I'll tell him, don't worry. I don't doubt that he's highly intelligent, he's going to quickly realize that something's off." _Technically speaking, he already has, just hasn't realized the full scope of it yet. Oh, god, who knows what he'll do when he does._

"Then I will keep my silence, for now. Good night, _señorita_ ," he bade me, unaware of my ramping panic as he slipped through the door.

"Good night," I called softly just before he shut it, ready for a respite from dealing people in general before I entered Nervous Breakdown stage.

 _Well, that wasn't so bad. Then again, it's not_ him _that we need to be worried about._ I panted nervously as I briefly imagined how _el Matador del Mar_ would react.

Then quickly shoved those imaginings away when my heart began to palpitate from the stress.

Trying not to think about it, I sighed in relief as I shucked the clothes I'd been wearing all day, grateful that the shirt and pants had been worn to a softness that helped combat the rough material, and quickly unwound the bindings from around my chest. I winced as the soreness around my ribs in protest to the tight wrappings, but there was no way in hell I was going to be bouncing around this ship with my boobs free. I rarely left the house without a bra, and to be so exposed through what would essentially be a see-through shirt? No. Thank. _You._

Quickly changing into my washed pajamas, briefly wondering what whoever had washed those thought of my odd shirt, I grabbed my blanket and pillow that someone had tucked neatly back on the bed, probably whoever it was that had been tasked with bringing my bathwater and washing my clothes, and crawled under the bed. Sure, the mattress was comfy, but I just felt…exposed, sleeping there. Something about being in that cell had made it hard for me to sleep out in the open air of my cabin.

Still, I appreciated the brownie who took care of my room while I was gone. Making the mental note to ask Reíno to either deliver my thanks or let me know who it was so I could do personally, I drifted off into yet another night of uneasy sleep, the troubled thoughts of how the Captain was going to react when I told him the truth a sour repetition in my mind, tainting my dreams.

* * *

 **When everything is done, I might go back a tweak a few things, but that's much later. For now, I'm happy with what I have. It's not perfect, I know, but I'm happy about it and changes can be done later.**

 **Monster Hunter! Best. Game. Ever. Okay, so I've heard it compared to Dark Souls (never played it, it's on my list of things to do), but from what I can glean from watching videos, I'd say it's a fair comparison. It's most definitely a grind game, and I'll be the first to say it's not for everyone, but for those of us (like moi) that it is, it is blood and breath. Like, we can put in hundreds of hours. Not joking. And even then you're not done with the game. But if you do decide to give it a try, I suggest to start with World, or if you don't have a big console, but _do_ have a 3ds, either 4 Ultimate or Generations. Both have multiplayer to help if you get stuck, but 3 Ultimate does not (but is much prettier, visually). **

**P.S. Next chapter is a super long one again, and I haven't yet decided if I want to split it or not, but rest assured that if I do split it, I'll post both chapters at once. Same goes for any other chapter I split. Until next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Alright, this is a 2 part chapter. I split it because it's kinda large in pacing terms and it makes it easier for me to edit/proofread, but I'ma upload both at the same time, so you guys will be alright. :3 I take care of mah peeps.**

 **And unfortunately, as needed, Pirates/Salazar/Lesaro belong to Disney (who absolutely wasted perfectly amazing characters) and Monster Hunter is again, Capcom's brilliant property. Which is fine with me, cuz they give us free DCLs, because they awesome.**

* * *

Unholy caterwauling jerked me awake and I stopped just in time not to crack my head against the underside of the bed. Glaring at the bottom of the bed through one eye, I grimaced when the shriek came again, this time seemingly to be highpitched words.

I groaned as I began to recognize who was making that awful racket. Unless the Captain had a banshee stashed away in his hold, the next most likely culprit was Lady BeKatt. I flopped back onto the floor, pain wracking my body and forcing my muscles to remain immobile. I'd almost forgotten that I'd been used as an impromptu punching bag not that long ago. _Oooowwww…life is pain..._

Crawling out from under the bed, muttering curses between clenched teeth at having my pisspoor sleep interrupted, aching, bruised muscles making me extraordinarily irritated, I wrenched open the door and stomped out of my cabin, slamming my door shut behind me.

The screeching down the corridor continued as I skulked along the corridor until I reached the source.

To no one's surprise, it was indeed Lady BeKatt, currently berating Lesaro for some reason about not having hot bath water.

The poor man was trying his best to be remain polite, but the enraged English cow was having none of it. Fortunately, neither was I. I didn't much care for the Lieutenant, but nobody deserved that kind of treatment, especially when it woke up innocent bystanders.

Already pissed at having been so rudely awakened, I dropped all pretense of being courteous and easy-going that I usually wore for the crew, stomping between her and Lesaro, right up into her face, and hissed, "You listen to me, you pretentious bitch."

Her vicious spiel silenced into a satisfyingly horrified gasp, I continued through bared teeth, "You are a guest aboard _their_ ship, and they are _not_ your slaves. Bringing you hot bathwater at all hours that you request it is a graciousness that you are taking cruel advantage of and _I won't. Have. It._ You will be kind and polite to these men for the remainder of our voyage, do your _best_ not to inconvenience them, and treat them with a civil tongue or so help me, I will rip it the fuck out of your skull and make you fucking _eat it._ "

I snarled viciously, the sound ripping out of my throat like a wild animal and she twitched in response. " _Got. It?_ "

She nodded jerkily and I stepped back, eyeing her angrily. And everyone wondered why I hated people, when this stuck-up hag represented so wonderfully all the reasons why.

I whipped around, Lesaro squeezing himself out of my way as I stalked past. I growled in anger as I stomped off, ignoring the shocked look on the Lieutenant's face. He could go suck a rotten egg over my behavior, but I'd be damned if I was gonna stand by and let her fucking walk all over these people that had saved our lives and treat them like indentured servants.

Lovely silence filled the ship as I returned to my cabin, well, as silent as it usually was with a full crew of sailors dashing to and fro to perform their duties, but at least it was minus one wailing harpy. Officially waking up, I quickly splashed water on my face, rinsing out my mouth. Taking a brief second to go pee, I started to dress in fresh clothes that were a slightly different fit than the ones I'd worn yesterday. Unfortunately, as soon as I began wrapping the bindings, my aching ribs protested, and I realized that my back was more of a hot mess than I'd realized. I glanced down and saw a deep purple bruise almost encircling my upper arm on one side, and could just make out more splotches of purple peppering my ribs. _That looks painful._

I poked through the dresser drawers, searching for...I triumphantly pulled out a wide stretch of cotton of some indiscriminate purpose. _This will do nicely._ It took some puzzle solving and a few tricks, but I got my breasts bound so that they weren't bouncing around too much. And it was kinder on my ribs than the bindings had been.

I glanced at my face in the mirror that had been put in yesterday before I made it to the door and paused with a grimace. My face wasn't as much of a hot mess as I thought it would have been without what I needed for my oily skin, but my dark blonde hair was an absolute nightmare. I had already lost track of how long I'd been in this time, but I was starting to get my shaggy dog look when my hair grew too long. And I highly doubted that anyone would be willing to cut it in the half-bob I'd had before. Pulling the hank hanging in my face, I mused cutting it. I'd had a short pixie cut before, and it would be easier to deal with until I either died or made it back home, whichever came first. Plus, I always thought it looked cute on me. Until it grew too long, that was. _Eh, I'll wait. I haven't quite reached sheepdog length yet._

It was when the short hair on my temples started to curl that it had to go. I couldn't stand those stupid little corkscrews.

Peering into the mirror, I pulled a face as I stared at my reflection, musing on my own features. Bland brown eyes, somewhat too round of a face, a smile that unfortunately looked more like a grimace (which saddened me and I tried never to think about it), and I supposed that if one stretched the imagination, I could almost be called cute. The only thing I had going for me were my eyelashes, which were super long and thick, something that everyone was always commenting on for some stupid reason. Like seriously, did they not realize how much of an agony it was when one of these things got in my eye? It made me wish for short lashes.

Someone knocked softly at my door and I jumped, my fight-or-flight reflex apparently still on a hair trigger. I reached over and pulled open the door to reveal Reíno standing at attention on the other side, his hands behind his back. That didn't stop the wonderful smell of food from wafting from wherever he was hiding it.

I snuffled the air and clicked in my throat, fixing him with a hard stare that said he'd better cough it up or else. The cheeky Spaniard had the audacity to grin at me and instead of giving me food, offered me his arm instead. "I thought perhaps you'd like a turn about deck?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "There had better be food involved."

He playfully heaved a long-suffering sigh. "There 'tis indeed."

Not being able to help a laugh, I grabbed my logbook and pencils before I slipped my arm around his, starting to get a little used the gesture. "You just want to ask more questions about the 21st century, don't you?"

Grinning sheepishly, he ducked his head. "I will admit to a morbid curiosity…"

"I'm bribable with food. Feed me and I'll tell you anything you want to know," I quipped, my stomach starting to clench as the wonderful smell continued to tantalize.

He led me up deck and instead of stopping short outside the corridor, continued to lead me all the way to the front of the ship, far out of the way of any passing sailors. The forecastles housing even more cannons cast a good amount of shade and made for a good spot to curl up for a quick meal. He took to unpacking the basket he'd had tucked out of sight while I leaned out over the railing, studying the _Silent Mary's_ figurehead. It was a woman, garbed in robes with a crown over her veil, the spear she held ready to be stabbed through the hearts of the criminal and unjust.

I wrinkled my nose a little, not very impressed, but it somehow seemed to fit the _Silent Mary_. I looked back along the vessel and was once again struck by just how magnificent she was. If I was a pirate and I saw her bearing down on me, I wouldn't even think of taking her on. I'd just turn tail and run.

A familiar uniform caught my attention and I squinted, able to make out the captain's form as he stood at the helm. The glint of metal in his hands confused me, and I wondered what he was holding until I watched him raise it to his face, aiming toward the bow of the ship. His spyglass? Was he watching us? I shook my head with a snort. He had better things to do with his time than spy on me. Still, it didn't help that I felt the hairs on the back of my neck tingling as if I was being watched.

I put the unsettling feeling out of my mind and turned back to see Reíno had somehow managed to scrounge up some still crisp apples. He was currently peeling one with a knife and I grabbed the one he wasn't working on. "How'd you manage these?" I asked as I bit into the sweet fruit. "And you're not going to get into trouble later for doing this, are you?"

"The apples came from the captain's supply, with his permission," he added hastily as I glanced at him in alarm, "and attending to you is my current duty, so no, I will not be reprimanded. Eat, you need to regain your strength."

We dug in to the delicious food (seriously, how did Miguel do it?) and I curled up against the base of the forecastle housing afterwards, the warm wood and a full stomach coaxing me into a catnap while Reíno flipped through my drawings. Strangely enough, a favorite recipe of mine popped into my head and I made a mental note to ask Miguel later if he had the ingredients aboard. The heat relaxed my muscles to the point that I felt like jelly, and was grateful that the relaxation helped with aches and pains of being batted around like a cricket ball. _I'll need to get some stuff for these later._

"What is this?" Reíno asked after a few pages.

I cracked open an eye to see the snarling visage of a lagiacrus covering the page. "It's a lagiacrus, flagship monster for Monster Hunter Tri." Then I remembered who I was talking to. I blinked awake and took a deep breath. "So, you're going to have to really stretch your imagination for this one."

Reíno nodded and sat closer so I wouldn't have to talk as loud and risk being overheard.

"We'll have to start at the top. Okay, so a television, or tv, is like a black glass window that can be about this big," I stretched my arms wide, "to about ye big," I brought my hands closer to about a foot wide. I wasn't even gonna try projectors or cell phones, we just wanted a gist. "When you put electricity through it, it turns it on. The black glass plays colored pictures, so to speak, but you can hear it as if you were standing there. On the tv, I can watch what's going on from the other side of the world, things that happened in the past, or things that aren't even real. It's only limited by money and imagination. Still with me?"

Reíno gave a confused nod, but looked like he was keeping up, more or less.

"Alright. Now a _videogame_ , is something that instead of just watching it happen, you get to control what we call the character. Think of it like watching a story happen instead of just reading it, depending on what game you're playing. You control how the story unfolds, what happens, by controlling what the character does."

"Like you're experiencing it instead of just spectating?" Reíno asked, still looking somewhat bemused, but sticking with it.

"Correct. Here, let me see if I can…" I pulled my logbook closer and set about scribbling a quick sketch of a videogame screenshot of a Monster Hunter game.

"You are quite good," Reíno observed while watching me upside down.

"Thanks," I murmured sheepishly, a blush of modesty warming my ears. I didn't take compliments well…

"Did you teach yourself?" he asked as I rapidly shaded in a tigrex.

"Uhm, yeah," I said with a cough, the blush worsening. I'd been drawing since I could hold a pencil, but it wasn't until about my early-teens that I'd stopped obsessing with horses and been fascinated with dragons ever since.

I finished my sketch and flipped it around so he could see. "Okay, so this is what it would look like on the tv, except colored in and as a moving picture. This is the health of your character, this is where your items to replenish your health can be viewed…"

Talking about my favorite game sucked me in deep and I tried to make it as layman as I could for someone who didn't even know what a tv was. Reíno, to his credit, kept up well, seeming fascinated by the explanation of the game. It made me really wish to be able to let him play it, but unless someone magicked a few things into the past, that wasn't going to happen. Still, it was fun to be able to talk about it.

We both realized at the same time just how long we'd been here when I suddenly heard a familiar voice. Baring my teeth, I glared down the length of the _Mary_ to where Lady BeKatt strolled along the deck on Lieutenant Lesaro's arm.

"What's _she_ do all day long?" I asked, a pinch curious as to how she spent her hours whiling away, especially since I'd never seen her out and about. But it _was_ a big ship...

"She has requested books from the _Capitán's_ quarters. She apparently can read and speak Spanish," Reíno murmured, eyeing Lady BeKatt with a less than impressed gaze.

I wrinkled my nose. _Well, isn't she just a special snowflake_. "Good for her!" I sarcastically sneered, "I feel bad for Lesaro, though, being stuck with that crazy cow for any length of time."

Reíno choked a laugh at that, shaking his head at my language, I assumed . "You are a class all to your own, aren't you."

I grinned at him and teasingly winked. "And don't you forget it."

He shook his head again and gazed longingly at my drawings. "I would like to see your time. I think it would be fascinating."

"Hmm…the novelty would wear off quite quickly. Especially once you realize that the world turns on assholes and stupidity."

He went quiet as he sorted out that terminology, then seemed to set it aside for later. "But surely you enjoy things. Tell me about those."

Not being able to help a smile, I leaned back and took a minute to organize my thoughts. Another glint of reflected light from where the captain still stood caught my attention. He was still standing in the same spot, but as I watched, he quickly stepped away from the railing and headed down the stairs in Lady BeKatt's direction.

"There's quite a few things that I enjoyed, too many hobbies and not enough time, but when I remembered to take time to enjoy life, it was good," I said, watching as the captain took Lady BeKatt's hand and tucked it against his arm, Lesaro going above deck to take the helm. "Life in the 21st century is a lot busier than here, there's more people, more noise, just _more_ , and it's really easy to get caught up in the mad rush and forget that in the grand scheme of things, you really don't matter. The sun could hiccup and cook us all in our little glass terrarium and all the money in the world wouldn't matter."

"That is a rather dark view on living," I heard Reíno murmur as the captain escorted Lady BeKatt around deck.

I wrinkled my nose at the picture they painted. "It's not, really, more like it helps to keep it in perspective not to get swept up in the mad rat race to make that last bit of money or how fancy your house is and to stop for a brief instant to enjoy a sunset or glance up to take in a rainbow. Little things that make life worth living. Cuddling a kitten, feeling a soft breeze, listening to a good song. Bits and pieces to remind us that while our lives might seem to be at the end of their ropes and the stress is piling up, our lives aren't completely ruled by numbers, we have to pause and put things back into perspective, preferably before the mental breakdown."

We were both quiet, Reíno while he mulled over my philosophical outpouring (which I was not prone to do, thank goodness. That was a lot of talking), and me while I watched Captain Salazar with Lady BeKatt and pondered the slightly sour emotion I felt when I watched them. I knew it wasn't jealousy, but I couldn't quite determine what it was.

"But that still does not answer what you enjoy doing."

I jerked my attention away from where they strolled along deck, deep in conversation. "Oh, sorry. I like to read, draw, play videogames. I like to go riding when I have time, but I haven't ridden in years. It gets hard to find time for things like that when you feel like you're living two lives in the space of one."

Reíno glanced at me with a contemplative expression. "What do you miss most?"

I curled up and rested my chin on my knees. "Music. I miss my music the most. I had a device that would fit in the palm of my hand, but I had thousands of songs that I could listen to, music like you couldn't even imagine…it was an addiction. And it's god-awful not to have it…"

It was saddening to realize that I might not ever be able to listen to music ever again. I'd never hear my favorite songs, never listen to soothing classic rock, dance around in the dark to EDM or dubstep, never vanquish a dark mood with the upbeat rhythms of electroswing.

A hand tentatively rubbed across my hunched shoulders and I flinched in surprise.

Reíno hurriedly drew back and I smiled slightly at him in apology. "You're fine. I just don't usually have a lot of people touching me, so I'm not used to it. But thank you."

I suddenly growled under my breath when I realized even though I could see the leisurely strolling pair behind me, I could hear them, and Lady BeKatt's Spanish sounded disgustingly adept.

Reíno glanced over my shoulder and his mouth twisted into a slight grimace. It made me feel a little better that I wasn't the only one who couldn't stand her. Reíno notice my discomfort and correctly guessed why. "Would you like to return to your cabin?"

I tilted my head, trying to ignore the melodic sound of Salazar's voice as he spoke in his native language. "Not particularly, but if that's my only option…"

"I can see to your bath tonight, if you'd like." His olive skin started to flush red and I could feel mine begin to heat up too, but I knew I'd feel better once I got rid of the fur.

"I'd appreciate that." I smiled awkwardly at him, grateful that he was willing to go through with this. "I'm sorry to ask it of you-"

He held up a hand. "It is alright. It 'tis not like we have a lady's maid aboard, and I do not think that Lady BeKatt would be willing to help you for all the gold in the world."

The bark of Reíno's name from the captain interrupted my laughter, and we both looked up to see Salazar frowning in our direction. I nudged Reíno along before Salazar became irritated. "Go on, I'll clean this up and take it down to Miguel. I have something I want to ask him anyway. Go, before he gets pissy."

Reíno snorted at that, but allowed me to clean up our meal as he went to see what the captain wanted.

I kept an eye on the temperamental Spaniard who seemed extra testy today, not that I knew him well enough to gauge any kind of personality, but judging from the slight smirk Lady BeKatt was wearing, I could hazard a guess that she'd manage to land Reíno in trouble, or something along those lines.

Apparently my warning from this morning hadn't struck a chord, but I would find out for certain before I did anything rash, like shave her head. It did make me feel better to imagine her bald.

With a slight grunt, the basket being heavier than I thought it was but nothing I couldn't handle, I twisted around and realized that the Captain's big self was in my way. I grumbled under my breath and fantasized hip-checking him aside, but he was sturdy enough I doubted I'd be able budge him, especially if he didn't feel like moving.

The wiser course of action was to slip around him, and I quietly moved to do so, strange butterflies kicking to life as I drew close to him, my brain going strangely fuzzy. He was polite enough to shift aside to let me pass, but somehow I managed to inadvertently brush my shoulder against his arm as I squeezed by, the touch eliciting tingles even through both layers of our clothes. _Okay, that is seriously unnerving and needs to stop._

I scampered past and when I turned to go down the stairs, I glanced to see him twisted slightly, watching me out of the corner of his eye. I shook my hair over my face to block his strange behavior out, and my stranger reaction to the touch of someone who was practically an alien from another time, and disappeared belowdeck, feeling a little turned around as I didn't usually come up through this stairwell.

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 **Thank you all for the lovely, kind reviews! I'm glad that people are enjoying this. Those warm fuzzies are a force to be reckoned with. Just out of curiosity, what is it about my style of writing that you guys like so much? Is there something in particular or is it just "how" I do it? I'm curious...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 2! I had a couple of people say that they liked Miguel, and I'm glad. He, like a few others, just kind of slipped in and fit perfectly.**

 ** **Pirates belong to Disney, Salazar unfortunately included...****

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My innate sense of direction didn't let me down, though, and I was able to locate Miguel's lair with only one wrong turn then ended up dumping me out where I needed to be anyway.

Miguel bustled the basket out of my hands before I could even set it down and take out the dishes for him, nodding with a lessened scowl at seeing all the food was gone. "Good, good. Need food for strength. You still too thin," he added, eyeing my skinnier frame.

I glanced down at myself, a little pleased by the weight loss I had undertaken,. Not so much with how I'd been forced to go about it, but I'd needed slimming down anyway. Just for kicks, I grabbed my chest, then my rear and looked up with a mischievous grin, my sometimes snarky nature peeking through. "Nope, still got everything I need."

Miguel froze for a second and I worried that I'd been too crass, then he broke into bellows of laughter, bending in half as he propped himself up on a cabinet from laughing so hard.

I giggled, not able to help myself, and then started laughing as well. The youngish boy from earlier, who I now could see was around his late teens, stuck his head through a door to see what all the ruckus was about. His eyes popped wide at seeing the two of us collapsed with laughter, quickly crossed himself and vanished, the sight making me laugh even harder until I wheezing for breath.

Eventually I was able to stop before I cracked a rib, Miguel still chuckling every now and then, I assumed at my outrageousness. "You just came to bring basket back? Or something else? I have no work, everything done."

I shook my head, my thought from earlier zipping through my mind. "Have you ever tried grilled pineapple?"

That got the cook's attention and he turned slowly, a look of confusion glazing over his face. "Grilled…pineapple?"

"Shoot, it's not pineapple in Spanish…uhm…" My brain scrambled to see if I could remember what it was called. Americans were so dumb sometimes, I knew we were the only culture that called it that. "It's a tropical fruit, golden brown color when ripe, has green spiky foliage on top, an acidic bite to the meat like an orange or a lemon, but it's sweet, not bitter."

Miguel nodded in understanding. " _Sí, ananás._ I know it."

I snapped my fingers at the word. "Yup! That's the one. So you cut off the skin, coat it with brown sugar and some ground cinnamon, skewer it and cook over a fire, not a long time, just a few minutes for each side. It's so delicious…" I trailed off, drooling a little at the memory of when I'd last made some.

Miguel looked like he was about to drool too. He zipped past me and vanished into one of the storerooms, then emerged with a dusky gold-colored pineapple. "This, _sí_?"

I nodded vigorously, grinning at the sight of one of my favorite fruits. "You're magic, Miguel. How do you keep them aboard without rotting?"

He set it on the table and started whirling about, mixing together this and that in a dizzying ballet of cooking prowess. " _Capitán_ had brought aboard for trade last stop, was picked long before ripe, so is still good. Will make some tonight, _sí_? Sound good? For us two?"

My grin stretched wider. "Sure! Just to make sure it's a good recipe, of course," I added with a mock conspiratorial tone.

Miguel caught on and winked at me. "Not want to give bad food. Must test first. Ah, before leave, give instructions again."

I told him how, making sure to warn him that the sugar was going to drip off a lot and if he wanted to use less of the mixture, it probably wouldn't hurt.

Happy to have something new to try, he shooed me out, and laughing a little, I left him to his devices. A few more hours to burn, I wandered about, feeling more lighthearted than I'd been in a while, even before I'd been sucked backwards in time. I'd been going through a highly stressful period of life, so it was nice to be able to stop and sniff the figurative roses. As I'd told Reíno, sometimes it really did get hard to remember that working nonstop wasn't all there was to life.

I rounded a corner (seriously, this was a huge ship) and found myself in a section I hadn't explored yet. So far it was just random rooms, a couple of what I guessed where living quarters for some of the officers. I curiously poked my nose around the corner and realized I had stumbled upon Lieutenant Lesaro's quarters. His door was open and the lieutenant was currently pouring over papers, his hat resting on the corner of the chair he was standing in front of and I choked back a giggle at the sight of the normally staid and tidy lieutenant having wisps of flyaway hair rapidly escaping his queue.

He looked up at a noise I'd tried to squelch and I cringed a little, feeling a guilty twinge at having been spying on him. _Busted._

He frowned at me, but gestured that I could come in.

At this permission, I slipped into his quarters, looking around curiously. "What does it mean if your door is open?"

"I am available to assist the crew in matters," he answered absently, having gone back to rifling through the fountain of papers stacked on his desk, pausing every now and again to mutter what sounded like a curse under his breath as he dropped the stack he was holding in one hand and picked up another.

I cocked my head, watching him inquisitively. He glanced up at me briefly and returned to his work. "I assume you have a question?"

"Do you want any help?" I blurted out, biting my lip when he jerked his gaze up to stare at me in surprise.

An awkward pause filled the air for a beat before his brows drew downward in confusion, but he gestured towards a huge pile of unopened envelopes on the table next to him. "Sort those, if you may, by letter of sender."

"Alphabetically by last name?" I asked as I moved over to paw through the pile of letters. He didn't answer and I turned to see he was staring at me in bewilderment.

"Y-yes," he stuttered, watching me, perplexed, as I began sorting the letters.

I rolled my eyes where he couldn't see me. What was the big deal about me offering help? Didn't people do that nowadays? I ignored Lesaro and continued to alphabetize the letters by the crew member sending them. It was a little hard with all the prefixes, but somehow I managed to make do.

After a brief moment, Lesaro returned to his own work and we carried out our tasks in cordial quiet.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I quietly asked him, "Do you normally take care of these?"

Lesaro hesitated, before carefully answering, "The officer who had this duty was…unfortunately killed a few weeks back. I've been taking it upon myself since then."

"Ah," I said, feeling bad that I'd asked. "I'm sorry." I winced when I said that. I'd always thought it was a stupid thing to say, but what else was there? And if I waited too long thinking for something better, it'd be _really_ awkward.

Lesaro nodded in response to my condolences. "He was a good officer, but-" he immediately fell silent, as if he'd suddenly remembered he wasn't supposed to say anything.

I waited a beat. "But?"

He carefully eyed the open door and then said very quietly, "He wasn't well liked. He had…difficulty following orders enough times that the _capitán_ was threatening to have him removed from duty."

I cringed at the thought of someone intentionally pissing Captain Salazar off. "He doesn't sound too smart if he was making the Captain angry."

Lesaro snorted, "He was a very intelligent man, but regrettably his intelligence also came with overbearing arrogance. He will not be missed."

 _Yeowch. Must have been a real ass if_ Lesaro's _saying that._ I felt a little bad for the captain having to deal with a moron like that, since I knew firsthand that they made murder look real tempting. _I wonder if he picked his own crew, or if they're stationed?_

As if he read my thoughts, Lesaro continued, "Most of the crew are stationed per orders, and they are an excellent crew that work very efficiently, but every now and then…"

"You get a bad apple," I supplied. There was always that one in every crowd.

He nodded and silence filled the room again, yet it wasn't an awkward one, strangely enough. It was like we had reached a mutual agreement, one where I had figured out he wasn't so bad, and he had realized that I wasn't Lady BeKatt.

After a stretch, he offered carefully, "Thank you…for earlier."

I looked up from where I was about halfway through with the envelopes (that were a shit-ton of letters), and blinked in confusion until I suddenly remembered. "You are quite welcome."

He hesitated a moment and I set down the letters I was holding, waiting patiently for whatever else he wanted to say.

"She was much more…agreeable, after your…colorful terms. While I wouldn't necessarily have handled that situation like such, as manners dictate otherwise, I do appreciate your stepping in to…remind her that she is a guest aboard the _Silent Mary_. But where on earth did you learn to speak like that?" he asked, frowning in bewilderment. "I have come across a few Americans before, and they are indeed an opinionated culture, but I have never seen nor heard anything remotely like _that_."

"I was raised by wolves," I shrugged with a tongue-in-cheek grin, feeling a twinge of panic that if he did pry, I didn't think he'd be as lax about the truth as Reíno.

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow and harrumphed, but lapsed back into silence, allowing me to keep my secrets.

Letters sorted shortly after, I carefully crept about his cabin, inspecting the various knickknacks that neatly lined his walls and cabinets, recognizing a fellow packrat, though he wasn't as bad as I was.

I had to smile when I saw a painting of must have been his parents and I assumed him and his brother. Lesaro looked a lot younger in the painting, so it must have been from a while ago. I hoped his family was still alive, but I wasn't about to ask. Continuing my perusal, I spotted something that surprised me with a snort of laughter.

"Not the reaction I was expecting," Lesaro commented, coming around from his desk to stand with me and admire the faintly obscene painting tucked out of the way behind one of the cabinets.

I shook my head, still snickering at seeing the very talented painting of several very scantily dressed women trying to entice a fully armored knight down from his charger. It wasn't so much the painting I was laughing at, but finding it in Lesaro's quarters. "What on earth is that doing here?" I choked, biting my knuckle to stop giggling.

Lesaro wrinkled his nose in distaste at the painting. "A…trophy, if you will, from the scum that cost me my eye and the _capitán_ almost his leg. It was that animal's prized possession. _Capitán_ does not approve of me keeping it, but he allows."

"How was the Captain injured?" I asked before I could stop myself, staring fixedly at the painting as I kicked myself. I didn't need to be nosy-

"I was not there for how it happened, but he was cut deep at the knee. I was surprised that he regained full range of motion in the limb, for how severe the wound was. But I suppose I shouldn't have been, given the _capitán's_ strong will."

A crew member suddenly appeared in the doorway, catching Lesaro's attention. He moved away to see what the man wanted and I continued to poke around his cabin while I waited.

" _Capitán_ wishes for you to dine with him again tonight," Lesaro announced, returning to stand behind his desk.

I glanced up, but the sailor had already disappeared. "Again? Please tell me it's not going to be a repeat of last night's nightmare." _And it'd be just my luck that the Captain would remember he'd had more questions to ask me._

"Lady BeKatt will indeed be joining you again," he confirmed with a pinched expression, giving the impression he didn't want to spend any more time with her than I did.

Since he couldn't, I pulled a face and made a gagging noise for him, which caused him to crack a smile before he quickly smothered it, although he wasn't completely successful. I could see the laugh lines around his eyes as he tried to hide it. I beamed at him, glad I was able to make him smile. It brightened his face considerably and made him seem years younger.

His smile peeked out again, along with a gentle light to his eyes. "So _la señora_ does smile."

I scrunched my nose playfully. "From time to time. When I have something to smile about. These days those moments seem far and few between…" I trailed off, then shook myself out the gray mood and said brightly, "You should try it yourself now and then. I swear on my soul that your face won't crack."

Lesaro chuckled at that and I felt like wiggling with glee that I'd been able to get him to laugh some. I wasn't sure why it made me so happy that I'd made the seemingly taciturn Lieutenant laugh, but for some reason, it did.

It made me a little curious as to what it'd be like if I heard the captain laugh. I hurriedly squished that thought, it was a dangerous, runaway train in high gear.

"You may wish to attend to your appearance before you depart." He nodded towards a mirror against the wall with a slight smile, and I went over to it, curious as to what he was talking about.

I squawked as I realized I had forgotten my hair's tendency to look like a nest of snakes when I slept on it, and the briny air had _not_ helped in the slightest. "Aw, crackers! This is a mess."

Frantically trying to fingercomb it into some semblance of order, I managed to the worst of the curlies tamed down some, but there was a cowlick I couldn't get rid of. I scowled at my reflection and at Lesaro's when I caught his amused look in the mirror. He hurriedly glanced away, trying to appear innocent, but he wasn't fooling me in the slightest.

"Go ahead and laugh. Just be glad you're not the one with the cowlick," I grumbled, about to lick my hand here in a second.

"Hold a moment." He stepped around his desk to a basin I hadn't noticed, a little washstand tucked away in the organized clutter, and wet a comb, coming over to hand it to me so I could wet down the cowlick. I swiped across the unruly cluster and was relieved to see it flatten down without springing back up.

"And stay. Let me guess, remain in cabin until collection?" I asked as I made sure I wasn't missing any more errant chunks.

" _Sí, por favor_."

I handed his comb back and smiled brightly. "Very well. Until then, Lieutenant."

* * *

 **Alrighty, end of this segment. Next is a super long one (not to mention the one we've all been eagerly awaiting, muahaha) and I'm trying to keep them at about 3-4k words apiece so you guys aren't drowning in words, but as I did with this one, I'll upload them at the same time. So, soon as I can, next chapter is going to be more of a certain, delicious Spaniard! Speaking of delicious, grilled pineapple is extraordinarily tasty and one of my favorite foods. Everything in here is correct in how to grill it, just fyi.**

 ** **I hope you enjoyed my version of Lesaro! He's a much nicer man to Isabeau now...I always thought that aside from being a trained naval officer, he'd be a big, squish teddybear. :P****


	9. Chapter 9

**Dis gonna be a 3-parter. This segment be huge, but iz tastie…. The beginning of what we've all been waiting for! I keep forgetting she's only been aboard the _Mary,_ what, a few days? I can't keep life straight... But now, we get to the fun part... *cracks knuckles***

 **Salazar/Pirates of the Caribbean belong to Disney, yadda yadda…**

* * *

I changed out of my clothes and into some clean ones, grimacing at the lack of underwear but resigned to dealing with it. I knew a little bit about the Regency period from novels and such, so I wasn't surprised by the lack of what I considered were basic necessities, but that didn't make it any better.

Beating my head against a wall was not a particularly fun exercise, but it was a soothing one, I just had to be careful not to whack too hard. My jaw cracked on a yawn as I shook myself slightly, bored and despising it. I had precious little to keep me occupied and I hated it.

Back home, I'd had so many hobbies I couldn't keep my brain straight, but because of work and chores, I hadn't been able to do practically anything requiring free time. Now, in an annoying turn of events, I had all the free time I could ever want, and absolutely nothing to do with it. I couldn't even read for heaven's sake, unless I suddenly learned how to read a foreign language overnight.

Another reason I didn't like the stillness was that I had plenty of time and peace for the thoughts to crowd in. Thoughts I'd rather not deal with, such as just how far had I traveled back? Judging from the style of Lady BeKatt's dress and the fact that wigs were still in fashion, somewhere early 19th, 18th century? I hadn't had the guts to ask anyone outright, nevermind that the only person I could really ask was Reíno, and I had the sinking feeling that I'd turn into a bawling mess when I found out for sure. And I _so_ hated crying. I never felt better afterwards and it certainly didn't solve anything...

I yawned again, ready to say fuck it and call it a day.

A knock sounded on the door just as I had drifted off, jolting me awake with an annoyed growl. The timing of these people sucked ass.

Reíno stood on the other side of the door when I opened it. I squinted at him and huffed. "So you get to be my escort to the gallows."

He snorted a laugh. "It's not that bad, surely. And Miguel asked me to tell you he's looking forward to trying your surprise. What's he talking about?"

Despite my trepidation of spending yet another night dealing with the enigmatic Captain and Lady BeKatt, I couldn't help a smile. "A recipe I asked him to try. If it turns out good, he'll probably end up making it again. Grilled pineapple with brown sugar and ground cinnamon coating."

He gave me a perplexed look as I shut the door behind me. "Pineapple?"

I clicked my teeth together in irritation. _Stupid American English…_ "Uhm… _ananás?_ " I tried to flick the word off my tongue in a poor rendition of Spanish, but clicks and glottal stops were more of my verbal forte in messing with languages, instead of the trilling r's and half-sounds that featured heavily in Spanish.

Still, I'd been able to get the point across and Reíno nodded in understanding. "Ah, I do not think I have ever tried it that way. I look forward to it." He glanced at me curiously when I suddenly paused in the middle of the corridor.

"I have a question…" I trailed off, uncertain as to how to phrase it, and it was something I probably should have been concerned with earlier.

"Yes?"

I sucked in a nervous breath. "I'm afraid I'm a little fuzzy on my world history. Like, _really_ fuzzy. Just how worried should I be as an American aboard a Spanish warship in the 18th century? I know Britain and Spain were locked at the horns for the longest time, and I think the Americans pretty much stayed out of it, but unfortunately, world history wasn't one of the classes I had." Much to my dismay. I'd thought I was going to shoot myself during American history. Ugh, so _dull_. And then having to write friggin' _paragraph_ answers was enough to make one start looking for the nearest window.

"Hmm…" Reíno paused thoughtfully. " _Capitán_ is not going to hold your being American against you. You are simply a passenger aboard his vessel. As you recall, _Señora_ BeKatt is English, and she is free to move about."

I waved a hand in frustration. "That's not what I'm getting at. Okay, it is a little bit, but I guess what I'm asking is do I need to be concerned with breathing wrong simply because I'm American?"

Luckily, Reíno seemed to get the gist of what I was trying to ask. "You will be taken care of, without need of worry about where you're from. You're quite safe."

Better than nothing, anyway. I felt a little bit better, and now more than ever wished I'd been able to take World History.

With a jolt, I realized that at some point, we'd started walking again and somehow we'd already reached the door to the captain's cabin. I was in no way mentally prepared for this. Then I remembered what I'd wanted to ask him. "What did the captain want with you earlier?"

I was amazed to see Reíno visibly shut down and knew whatever it was hadn't been good. "It is of no consequence to you."

The clipped tone stung a little and I pulled back in surprise at his vehemence, but I was on a mission here. If justice needed to be had… "Lady BeKatt got you into trouble, didn't she?"

His eyes narrowed at me and I wondered a little at where my cheerful companion had gone. "As I said, it is no business of yours."

"Ouch. I'd take it personally if I didn't know who we were talking about. Shaved head it is," I muttered with a nod. _She should have listened..._

Reíno shot me a mystified glance. "What did you say?"

"I said I'm going to shave her head," I repeated a little louder, baring my teeth. That little shit needed to be more careful about who she pissed off in the future. "She don't need to be getting other people into a hot mess, she got enough problems of her own to worry about."

Reíno was beginning to look alarmed, which was a far better notion than being emotionally cold. "Don't do anything rash, it wasn't that important."

"It _is_ important," I snapped back, whirling to plant myself in front of him. "You're my friend, Reíno, and I'm going to stick up for you, even if you don't want me to. So get used to it."

That shut him up and he stared at me, mouth slightly open. I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers in his face, getting him back into focus. "Reíno! What did she do?"

He jerked his head, as if giving it a slight shake, and blinked at me. "It truly was nothing, just vexing. She was insisting that I had interfered with her receiving her bath this morn. However, it was sorted out, so there's no need to take revenge for my sake."

The growling noise I made reverberated in my chest, emphasizing my anger. Reíno quickly held up a hand before I could go drown the hag in her toilet. "Calm down! She even apologized when she realized her mistake."

I twisted to squint at him. "That pissy little toenail doesn't know the meaning of the word "apologize"."

Reíno grinned at me. "You have some of the most colorful language I've ever heard. And coming from a sailor, that's saying something. But yes, she apologized, and it appeared to be genuine."

I gave him a long hard look. I believed him but I also knew Lady BeKatt could be a manipulative hoe. The full fact that she'd saved me simply to save herself spoke volumes. "If you say so. But next time, you're not coming between her and an unpleasant encounter with a chamberpot."

He shuddered slightly in disgust at the image. "Oh, _Díos_ , please don't. The mess would be a nightmare, not to mention the smell."

My teeth bared in a twisted grin, I spat a hiss. "Oh, yes, and it would be glorious."

Shaking his head at me, Reíno chuckled slightly and said teasingly, "You are definitely a unique woman, _Señorita_ Isabeau. Speaking of which, you wear no shoes?" he added, glancing down at my feet.

I danced a little jig on the balls of my feet. "I think whoever brought me the clothes forgot shoes, but that's fine. I prefer to go without them anyway."

"Easier for you to run away later when you tell _Capitan_ the truth?" he teased, but actually seemed half-serious.

I stuck my tongue out at him, hoping he wasn't, and he laughed at that. Then his gaze flickered behind me and he sprang to attention, which was all the warning I had before a deep baritone came from right behind me.

"You may enter, _Señorita_ Revanne."

I let out a strangled yelp and jerked around to see the Captain standing behind us, one eyebrow raised at my reaction. Sweet _bouncing_ baby monkeys, how did he not make any noise?! He was a fairly large man, wore boots on hard wood, yet he was quiet as a ghost when he so wished.

Over my head, he nodded at Reíno. " _Despedido_."

I glanced back to see Reíno click his heels together and jerk his head in response. " _Capitán._ " Then with a sympathetic glance in my direction, he turned about and strode away.

 _Oh, crap, he's leaving me alone, I'm gonna die._ Before I could bolt after Reíno however, a broad hand covered nearly the entirety of my lower back and I was deftly ushered through the open door of the Captain's cabin before I could protest, the man himself cutting off escape by being right behind me, filling the doorway to an imposing degree. All I could sense behind me was restrained power and it made me swallow convulsively.

Heat spread rapidly from where he was touching, sending involuntary little thrills racing up my spine, and those stupid little butterflies were twisting my stomach into knots. I couldn't help my shiver and quickly moved to the side to get out of his way.

Thankfully, he didn't acknowledge my odd behavior, only moved past the dinner table which I now saw was already set. "Lady BeKatt will be joining us shortly. Please, make yourself comfortable." Then he disappeared through the doors I assumed led to his sleeping quarters.

 _Yeah, okay. No way that's going to happen being in the same room with you, dude._ Not that I could say any of that out loud, of course, so I just wandered over to inspect the huge map inlayed on the wall behind his desk, wondering if I could match it to a 21st century global map by memory. At least there weren't too many spots with " _Here there be monsters_ " on it, though Antarctica seemed to be a lot smaller than it should be. Asia and North America looked like they'd been painted while the artist was having a seizure, and Australia seemed to have a few issues, but pretty much from South America to Africa was spot on.

Still being nosy, I glanced down and saw papers galore, reminding me of Lesaro's desk earlier, yet I had no doubt that the captain knew where every piece of paper was. Completely the opposite of my goldfish memory, but I was pretty good at figuring out where I'd left things.

Craning my neck, I tried to read one of his lists upside down, but it was a new level of difficulty when what you were trying to read was in a foreign language.

"It's a list of suspected pirate vessels," I heard from right over my shoulder. Managing to smother my squeak, I couldn't stop the jolt of surprise, inadvertently twisting backwards right into the Captain's chest. His, uhm, very _solid_ chest. I blamed the fogging of my brain on the sheer heat he generated that made me pause for a few seconds before what I was pressed up against registered and I sprang forwards to a polite distance, stuttering an apology. The firm imprint of all that muscle felt like it had been branded into my back...

He watched me with an unreadable expression, not seeming offended at me having accidentally plastered myself against him. If anything, he seemed faintly amused by my reaction, and cocked his head slightly in interest. "You seem easily startled. Or do I make you nervous?" he asked in a mild tone, as if he was trying to appear less dangerous for the sake of putting me at ease.

Except I had literally just _felt_ the power that was leashed under his uniform. There was no doubt in my mind that the Butcher of the Sea had well earned his title. "Bit of both," I managed, then clamped my lips tight to prevent a slew of words that would only have resulted in my embarrassment.

"Hmm…" He glanced over me then gestured to table. "Shall we? I do not believe that _Señora_ BeKatt will take too much offense."

My stomach was chewing at my spine a little, but nothing I couldn't ignore. "Is she late?" I asked as I went over to the chair I'd been sitting in my previous visits. I didn't like having my back to his cabin door, preferring to have his bedroom door behind me.

He turned to pull my chair out, but not before I caught the tautness around his mouth that said he was annoyed. "She is by a short while."

Had I been in his quarters that long? It certainly hadn't felt like it.

As if reading my mind, he gestured for me to sit before adding, "I had something I had wanted to discuss with her before you joined us, but it appears that it will have to wait."

I warily sat down, mindful of the sheer aura of authority that surrounded him. It freaked me out a little, but he was careful as he pushed me in, then gracefully took his own seat.

However, I did want to wait to start eating. It seemed the captain did as well, as neither of us moved towards the delicious smelling food. That didn't stop me from sniffing the air and I couldn't help a small whine as it made my stomach clench.

"She will be here shortly, or we'll start eating without her." I glanced over to see the Captain watching me with a small smile, the lightening expression making the butterflies turn into tingling fireflies.

I gave him a little smile in response, then looked down at the table and bit my lip while I tried to find the nerve to say something I should have said long before now. And the opportunities when it was just me and him were few and far between, something I was both relieved and oddly disappointed by, which was just confusing.

"Thank you," I softly murmured, wishing I could look him in the eye while I said it but was not quite brave enough. "Thank you for saving me, and thank you for everything."

To my horror, my eyes started watering and I had to blink quickly so I didn't start leaking. _Don't do that, we don't need that kind of embarrassment!_

There was a charged pause. Then he said quietly, "You are very welcome, _Señorita_ Revanne."

I nodded and sucked in a quick breath, refusing to be one of those females that dissolved into waterworks at any given moment. But hey, give me a break. It'd been one of the most stressful few weeks of my life. And we weren't done yet.

I was saved any more awkwardness by a knock on the door. We both jerked, as if we'd somehow forgotten there were more people in the world than just us.

The captain called out and Lady BeKatt marched through the door like she owned the joint. I wrinkled my nose a little, but kept my comments to myself. We didn't need to get into a catfight right away.

Though I did wonder if the breeze I felt was generated from her fluttering her eyelashes at the captain as he pulled out her chair for her, then bit my tongue to keep from laughing. Did men really fall for that kind of behavior? No wonder I'd never had any luck on the romantic front. There was no way in hell I'd get caught dead acting like that.

With her finally in session, we were able to start eating, a fact I was incredibly grateful for as I was positive my stomach was totally about to embarrass me.

Like last time, the dishes were extremely appetizing, and a small, covered dish close to my placemat proved to contain grilled pineapple cooked to golden-brown perfection. I beamed happily and replaced the cover, careful to only have small portions of everything as I knew the pineapple would be very filling.

Neither one of them seemed to notice and I was quite content to remain ignored. I'd had enough of Lady BeKatt's attention to last a lifetime, and being the center of the Captain's focus was just downright unnerving. Whenever he fixed that formidable concentration on me, it felt like my skin was being peeled away so he could carefully examine my soul. I wasn't prone to flights of fancy such as that normally, but there really wasn't a better way to describe it.

They began discussing the politics of their respective countries and I wanted to cry in boredom. Nothing drained me faster than talking about politics. It probably wasn't a good viewpoint, but I'd always found it so useless to rail against the machine. What was the point of it?

Finally getting to my pineapple, I wished I could eat like when I made it, but that involved a lot of slobbering and general mess, so I behaved myself and cut it into manageable bites. The first explosion of flavor on my tongue, the juicy sweetness, the hint of sugar, the biting acid of the fruit, I had to pause and close my eyes to just savor the delectable taste like it deserved.

If I wasn't in polite company, I probably would have moaned. Luckily, I remembered at the last second that I wasn't alone.

I opened my eyes to see Lady BeKatt peering at something the Captain had given her, while the man himself was watching me with those unreadable dark eyes. Swallowing uncomfortably at being given his full focus, I slid the dish around so he could get a piece for himself, as there was no way I could eat the entire thing by myself.

He frowned perplexedly at the pineapple for a second, then graciously accepted a piece, delicately cutting it and I watched as he tasted it.

He seemed to freeze for a second, I assumed as he sorted through the flavors and the sheer juiciness, then proceeded to inhale the rest of the slice.

I grinned at his reaction and went back to my food, only to be, surprise surprise, drawn into conversation with Lady BeKatt. Against my better judgment, I was coaxed into talking about our imprisonment. The Captain asked the both of us questions, and between the two of our points of view, we managed to get the entire story told with all the details he was after, all the way up to being rescued by the _Mary_.

For all of her toxic personality, Lady BeKatt did seem genuinely grateful that I had drawn our warden's attention at the last, though she did regard the way I'd handled it with distaste. I shrugged and told her I didn't much care except it had succeeded and we were here now, instead of where we might have been.

To that, she agreed heartedly, and for a brief moment, I glimpsed the pleasant person she might've been, if she'd had a little less privilege and little more awareness of those she considered her lesser.

Then with a cutting comment about her state of treatment aboard the _Bountiful_ , she reverted back to her previous state and I emotionally withdrew, not wanting to get sucked into exchanging spats of venom with her. I snatched the last four pieces of the pineapple, and ducked out of the conversation, preferring to remain a bystander rather than a participant. The verbal minefield was just too taxing, and both the captain and Lady BeKatt seemed more than willing to overlook my withdrawal.

Unable to stop myself as I savored my second slice, I couldn't help but notice that she was indeed gorgeous, dressed in some shimmering deep blue contraption that suited her coloring extraordinarily well. I briefly wondered where they'd managed to find a dress, then figured it'd be better if I didn't ask. Someone might think I needed be dressed in one, and I liked my pants and loose shirt just fine, thanks.

Up close like this, it was almost blinding, sitting next to these two shining examples of the finer points of human genetics. Compared to them both, I felt like a goat being showcased next to a Thoroughbred and a Friesian.

I fidgeted uncomfortably as I smothered my depressing observations and turned back to my plate, then stopped.

There was only two slices of pineapple left.

I studied my plate again, then shot a suspicious look at the Captain. He wasn't paying any attention to me, all of his focus being on Lady BeKatt, yet I could have sworn…

 _I'm imagining it._ Shaking my head slightly, the thought was dismissed and I went back to eating, trying to pretend to be following the conversation as it was meandered from politics to the captain's hunting prowess of pirates. It was fairly impressive that two people from completely different countries could have so much to talk about. I leaned back in the chair and looked over Salazar's shoulder to watch out the window, a little tired of being cooped up on a ship, even one as big as the _Mary_. I wanted trees and grass again, solid ground where I could disappear if I wanted, be away from humans-

"And what about you, Miss Revanne? What is your opinion on the matters of state between Britain and Spain?" Lady BeKatt addressed to me as if my existence had finally become something of note. But by the cold look at the edges of her expression, she knew I hadn't been paying attention to the conversation, and she was seeking to take advantage of that to make herself look better.

I had no idea about anything they were discussing and she knew it. But hey, I was blonde. I knew how to play dumb. Adopting a simpering tone and with a fluttering wave of my hand, I did my best to play my part. "I don't concern myself with matters such as those. I find them much too taxing, and prefer to leave it to the far superior minds of men."

Icing on the cake was a little giggle at the end and it was more than a little fun to watch Lady BeKatt struggle to decide whether to wrinkle her nose in distaste or smirk from success.

Salazar had just taken a drink from his wineglass during my performance and sputtered at my finale, coughing a few times before he got his breath back. I smiled sweetly at him with a vacant expression, biting my tongue to keep from laughing, and resolutely went back to ignoring the two.

Her next question she addressed back to the captain and after a minute of feeling my eyes glaze over, my pretend vacant expression becoming the real thing, I looked down at my plate to see someone else's fork _stealing my pineapple!_

I gaped in dumbfounded outrage at the audacity of the man, and for a few seconds, I forgot a few important things; I forgot where I was, I forgot this was an 18th century naval captain whom I was barely acquainted with, and most importantly, I forgot I still wasn't wearing any shoes…

And I kicked him soundly in the shin.

If I had been watching this scene as a spectator, I would have been laughing so hard I'd have been crying. As it was, the tears in my eyes were from pain instead of humor my throbbing toes only adding to my aches and pains. Were his boots steel-plated or something?!

To the captain's credit, he managed to hide his grunt of surprise by clearing his throat, but he still managed to get _my_ pineapple onto _his_ plate. The dishes on the table managed to hide his thievery, so Lady BeKatt couldn't see it.

I growled under my breath and contemplated stabbing his hand with my fork as I listened to him make his excuses to Lady BeKatt when she enquired about his behavior. It would be so satisfying, and almost worth the consequences. I wrapped my hand around my fork and glared at his hand in deep thought.

Flexing my ears back, I eventually decided that it would be more prudent to ignore the event and keep eating. If he tried to steal my shit again, however, all bets were off. I tucked my aching toes under my opposite thigh and wished I'd thought that through a little better.

Aside from that little hiccup, the rest of the meal was almost enjoyable, if only I could've swapped out the dinner companions. Actually, the captain was fine, even though he still made my stomach do weird somersaults with not-nervousness, but Lady BeKatt just made me want to dump her over the railing.

Leaning back in the chair a little, I knew I'd eaten too much for what I was used to, but it had all tasted so good. The grilled pineapple was just as delicious as I had remembered, and Miguel had done it to perfection. I'd forgotten how juicy it was, the heat of being cooked locking all the moisture inside the fruit. The last lone wedge stared at me sadly from my plate but I'd never be able to finish it.

Glancing over revealed that the captain's plate was empty and I knew it was bad manners to do this, but it was such a shame to let it go to waste…

Turning my plate and edging it towards him, I offered the remaining wedge if he wanted to take it and studiously ignored the plate, instead focusing all of my attention on Lady BeKatt's inane chatter. It made me glad I wasn't going to be quizzed about whatever it was she'd said, because it was all going in one ear and out the other.

After a few minutes, I slid a peek and saw the slice had disappeared.

* * *

 **Hehe, I always did like that scene (you know which one). It was one of my favorites to write. Anyhoo, I just wanted to remind peeps that this isn't going to be 100% accurate, I'm just doing this for fun and I'm sorry if that bothers you. I just don't have the time nor truly the desire to make it so. I'm just writing this for the enjoyment of it, and I hope that you can appreciate that anyway. :3**

 **Friendly reminder: Part 1 of 3! *fist pump***


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 2 of 3! And here's where the fun begins! And our poor girl has a breakdown...poor baby...Think a certain Spaniard is going to make it worse or better? ;)**

 **Salazar/Pirates of the Caribbean = Disney, Isabeau = BluKoffee!**

* * *

I decided to tune back in, listening to them talk, and realized that they weren't talking as much as I'd thought. Either that or my perception of time was all sorts of screwed.

Probably both. Who the fuck knew anymore. I pretty much didn't even know what time _was_ anymore...

Still listening with only half an ear, I turned to stare out the windows dejectedly, wishing I could be outside where I could smell the brine, feel the breeze kicked up by this massive ship, but no, I was stuck in here, having to watch the wake behind the _Mary_ through rippled glass.

This was all so alien, like I was trapped in an anxiety-ridden nightmare. Or maybe I was in a coma. I'd been in one when I'd gotten dumped here. Maybe this was all a dream.

But even as I wished that, I knew it wasn't a dream. For one, if I was going to get stuck in a time-travelling fantasy, it certainly wouldn't be the 18th century, for Pete sakes. And even if was some twisted imaginings, I _knew_ there was no way in hell that my brain would have had half the shit needed to make this ship realistic stored in its databanks. What I'd gleaned from books and movies just wasn't enough. And it felt too... _real_ , the smells, the sounds, the feel of everything. The sense of disconnection I had was my mental defense against overload, but even still, just the sheer amount of sensory input was too detailed for it not to be real. And if that was indeed true, then-

"Something troubles you?"

I jerked back to the present to see I was being watched carefully by both of my companions, the captain having been who gathered my attention. I smiled politely and shook my head. "Just da-...woolgathering." So dumb. Where the hell had that phrase originated? Daydreaming was much better.

His eyes flickered over my face for a second, then he rose, signaling that dinner was done. Which I was happy with. I was ready to get back to my cabin so I could ignore people. I grimaced as I moved stiffly out of my chair, the ache in my toes from kicking a certain captain's boot thankfully faded away, but the rest of my bruises and strained muscles were making themselves known. Hopefully, my brownie had been kind enough to leave me a bath, and if I was a lucky bug, it'd even be a warm one.

The Captain took Lady BeKatt's hand and began to lead her towards the door, leaving me to trail along behind. Even with my limited knowledge, I knew that was poor manners, but I really didn't mind. I didn't like people touching me, even before my stay on the pirate ship, but he disturbed me on a level of twenty on a scale of one to ten. I'd rather he didn't touch me. So I shoved the little voice of disappointment that wanted to feel his warm strength again into a little locked box and sat on it.

Due to my distractedness, I near about plowed into the Captain's back before I realized he had not only stopped, but was blocking me from leaving his quarters. I huffed in disbelief and tried to dodge around him as he bid Lady BeKatt good night, not wanting to be locked in here with him again.

He slipped his big body between me and the door before I could get by and clicked it shut, placing a hand firmly against it stop me from wrenching open and hightailing it down the corridor to safety. And then he locked it.

I danced backwards as he turned to level a discerning stare at me, swallowing as I felt the weight of his focus land squarely on top of me with nothing to distract him now. With broad shoulders, immaculate uniform, and dark, stern (and still handsome, dammit) features, he towered over me a good head and shoulders higher, as if he needed anything extra to add to his intimidation. His sheer attractiveness alone would have guaranteed that, even without everything else. My mouth went dry as I felt anxiety beginning build.

"I would like some more answers before you leave, _Señorita_ Revanne," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and all but planting himself in front of the door.

 _Before I can_ escape _, you mean._ I fidgeted uneasily as I awaited Interrogation Part Two. Well, he _had_ warned me beforehand at our first dinner, but Lady BeKatt must have distracted him enough last time that either he'd forgotten, or more likely, had decided it would be better to wait.

Before, I'd been really uncomfortable it being just him and me. Now, I was downright panicking. Being just the two of us meant I had no escape from his full attention and I had precious little to sidetrack me from my increasingly short breath and racing heartbeat, aside from ogling the man. I'd thought I'd have more self-control, but nope. It was all I could do not to blatantly stare at the masculine portrait he painted. I'd have thought that the freaking out would have distracted from that, but apparently not.

"You're not from here, are you?" he asked finally, watching me with those perceptive eyes. I vaguely wondered if they were actually black or very dark brown. It was so hard to tell..."Where do you call home?"

"I'm American-" I began, feeling my legs shaking in my pants.

" _Sí_ , I know, but that is not what I meant." He suddenly pushed off the door and strode over to his desk, sitting down heavily with a sigh as he gazed at me with a pensive expression, one hand resting against his mouth.

I twisted my head a little, not sure what to make of this sort of attitude from the infamous Captain, especially after he'd seemed practically immovable not two seconds prior. Instead of escaping through the door now that it was no longer blocked by his big self, I slunk over to the other side of his desk and curled up in the chair across from it, tucking my trembling legs underneath me, watching him warily as he stared at me in return.

"You are not ordinary," he stated bluntly, interlacing his fingers, still watching me like a cat waiting to pounce.

I tried not to twitch at the blatant observation, but his sharp eyes saw the movement anyway. The anxiety steadily grew worse. My heartbeat developed a slight pause every now and then as the stress triggered my palpitations.

"Yes and no," I hedged with a dry tongue. I was relatively ordinary from when I had come from, but here, I was practically life from another planet. And I knew nothing about this man who would control my fate.

"Explain." His tone brooked no evasion. His eyes held no reprieve.

I swallowed nervously and bit my lip, trying to think of how best to describe this insanity without appearing insane. There were so many ways this was going to go wrong…I hoped they'd at least feed me while I was enjoying my stay in the brig before the crazy house.

The nervous, uneven pounding of my heart and the painful twinge in my stomach, making me regret eating as much as I had, were not helping matters any. The familiar cramp kicked up in my left forearm and I anxiously rubbed at the pained muscle, wishing there was a way out of this that didn't involve getting thrown in with the fish. _Welp, we'll just start with the craziest and work our way up from there._ "I'm from the future. More specifically, the 21st century."

The captain stared at me blankly for a few beats, then his jaw flicked in irritation, his expression growing darker. "I do believe that I asked you not to take me for a fool-"

"It's the truth!" I insisted, wondering if it was more dangerous for him to believe me or think I was crazy. "The day before I woke up on the _Bountiful_ , mysteriously appearing I'd like you to remember, just ask Lady BeKatt, I was at home, in Jacksonville, North Carolina, United States of America. The date was May 18th, _2018_. I'm not lying to you. Why would I lie about something like _that_? Or at least try something a little more believable?"

He blew a heavy breath and fixed me with a disbelieving stare. "I cannot claim to know why you are lying to me, _señorita_ , but it will gain you no favors. As for you being aboard the _Bountiful_ , it is simply a clerical error-"

I groaned in frustration, jumping to my feet, pacing around my chair. _How do I make him understand?_ I cleared my throat and leaned on the back of the chair, jittering my leg as I figured I'd try a little close to home. "Alrighty, let's try this. When you think of the future, how do you think technology will advance?"

He blinked in surprise and I knew I had caught him off guard with this tangent. But apparently he decided he'd play along a little while. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the big desk as he continued to watch me with a warning expression, as if to say that whatever I had planned wasn't going to work. "I attended a lecture once, somewhat recently, about..." he paused, glancing up at the ceiling as he searched for the right word. " _Predicciones_?"

"Predictions." I nodded in encouragement. This was good, I could work with this. Here's hoping he wouldn't toss me overboard when we were through, assuming of course, I could convince him of the truth. "What sort of things did they imagine?"

He narrowed his eyes at me and was silent for a long moment, most likely trying to figure out what game I was playing. _Not a game, big guy. Just trying to get my life together._

While I waited, I found myself observing him, unable to look away as I noted his angular cheekbones and the high brow which gave him a noble flare. His black sideburns were tidily cut, his hair still in its neat bun with a few wisps escaping, and I scanned over his face, trying to see if I could find anything I could describe as "cute". Really, it was a little sad that he was so masculine, didn't an ounce of cute on him that I could see.

I bit down on my tongue to keep from thinking how he'd react if I called him cute, then laughing like an idiot.

The captain resumed talking, still eyeing me suspiciously. "Much of their imaginings were quite fantastical. People able to fly like birds, with wings no less, and underwater boats. There was one in particular I found very amusing. Horseless carriages." He huffed in incredulity and shook his head. " _Como si tales cosas sucedieran…_ "

 _Here goes nothing._ I interlaced my fingers and stretched out, cracking all of the joints in both hands. "Your theorists were a little…off in their predictions."

He leaned back into his chair and motioned for me to continue with a faintly mocking smirk.

I winced and tasted blood as I bit too deeply into my lip, trying to quell the nervous trembling that was now infecting my entire body. If I'd been anywhere close to a railing, I'd have just jumped over by now, saved myself the hassle of my heart stopping from overstressing. "Wind, steam, gas, electric. Humanity advances by leaps and bound, untamed and unchecked by law or consequence. Where I'm from, this ship," I gestured to encompass the _Silent Mary_ , "would be in a museum. It wouldn't be one of the most advanced warships of its time. That title would be held by destroyers or aircraft carriers. A single aircraft carrier is more than six times the length of the _Mary_ , and more than capable of laying waste to an entire coast. And then some."

He didn't look even slightly convinced, but he was still listening. This man was dangerously intelligent, and didn't seem prone to superstitious nonsense. So how did I prove the truth to someone like this when all I _had_ was superstitious nonsense?

I sat back down in the chair. "Those horseless carriages? We call them cars. Almost every individual owns a car in the United States, some people own more than one. You mentioned underwater boats. They're called submarines. They hold weapons of such destruction as to make your entire _country_ uninhabitable if they fired just one."

Rubbing my face, I tried to think of something I could say that would make him believe me. If only I could have brought anything with me aside from the clothes on my back…

He suddenly surged to his feet in a powerful movement before I could think of anything and I shrank back into my chair. The expressions flickering rapidly over his face scared me before he strode over to stand in front of the bay windows.

I trembled with churning, bitter cramps of anxiousness and tried to focus on the map on the wall behind his chair. My breath had shortened into nervous pants. _It seems he's entertaining the idea. And he's not happy about it._

And then I heard ominous boot heels behind me and felt heat not my own spread along my neck and scalp like a touch as he bent over me. I could feel faint breath tickling my ear and all the muscles along my spine clenched.

"Do you recall what I told you earlier?" he asked silkily, his shivering baritone holding a menacing note.

I shrank even further into the chair and managed a faint squeak. The controlled aggression building behind me was making my vision start to shrink. _How badly will he hurt me?_

He made a deep noise in anger, still looming over me. "I told you that I do not like being lied to, _señorita,_ and if you think this is going to end well for you, I would suggest that you think this through again."

He grabbed my right upper arm, ignoring my yelp of pain as his fingers sank deep into that deep bruise, and hauled me up out of the chair. I was yanked uncomfortably close to him as he leaned down, ignoring my struggles to get free as his fingers twisted deeper into my bruise.

"I do not suffer liars lightly and I'm of a mind to return to you to a cell, at least until you're more willing to tell me the truth-"

The pain of his fingers digging into my bruise was too much and I smacked his hand, twisting wildly to escape the pain. "Let me go, you fucking bastard!" I yelled, wrenching myself free and skittering backwards out of his reach as he reared back, tucking my arm tight to try and ease the pain, the sharp ache fueling a growing anger, one that far outstripped the panic.

I glared at him through watery eyes as my arm throbbed sickeningly, watching his surprised expression morph into something that looked like remorse as he immediately realized he'd hurt me.

Salazar was not a man to be taken lightly, that I understood all too clearly, and vaguely wondered if this was the same man that had stolen my food and let me get away with kicking him in the shin. I bared my teeth and shied away from him when he reached out as if to grab me again.

"Don't you touch me," I hissed painfully through gritted teeth, my bruise still sharply pulsing in hot, nauseating waves as tears of pain started to trickle down my cheeks.

"Mother _fucker_!" I spat at the wall as I stumbled away, wanting anything to ease the throbbing; painkillers, anesthesia, a bullet. God, it _hurt!_ "If it's any consolation, I don't think you're an idiot, but I'm certainly not thinking anything charitable right now!"

I was standing on the far side of the table, Salazar moving closer, when I realized I had an exit route.

And he'd threatened to put me in a cell again.

I bolted for the door, hurriedly fumbling for the lock as I heard him quickly moving to cut off my escape. _I don't think so!_ The lock clicked and I yanked the door open, almost smacking him in the face with it as I dashed down the corridor, ignoring his command to stop. _Like fucking hell!_

I ran blindly, dodging and darting around crew and corners, heading down deeper in the depths of the _Silent Mary's_ belly where I could hopefully find a safe place to hide, where I could sort out the pain and fear and frustration.

A stitch seized up my side and I had to stop, panting for breath as I glanced around wildly. It seemed I was in a cargo hold, crates stacked neatly to the support rafters above. I eyed one particular stack and saw that I could climb up to the rafters to hide. Not my best hiding spot, but it was out of the way and out of reach. I wouldn't be in an immediate line of sight unless someone looked up.

I crept along the beams until I managed to squeeze myself into a small nook that had been built to house the support. I was practically invisible here, and took the opportunity to try and straighten my rampant thoughts and emotions. Violent shudders wracked my body as pain still pulsed in ugly waves along my arm and I wondered belatedly if he'd broken it. I moved it gently and hissed at the hot branding iron under my skin, but it was still mobile, so I felt safe in assuming it was still in one piece. The bruises continued to hurt like a bitch, though, and they weren't stopping. I wasn't sure how'd I gotten that particular one on my arm, if I'd inadvertently smacked it hard against something or if it was where that garbage had grabbed me in the prison cell, but it wasn't healing as well as it should have been. Or maybe it was just taking a really long time, I didn't know. Then I remembered I'd only been rescued a few days ago. It felt almost like a lifetime ago...

Resting my forehead against my knees, I felt like I didn't know anything anymore. I wasn't even sure which was up. I started regulating my breathing, inhaling slowly in deep, rattling breaths, and tried to calm my adrenaline high, but my heart kept racing at its fast, ragged clip, not slowing down in the slightest.

Trembling, I could feel drops trailing down my cheeks and I couldn't even be surprised that I was crying. I was scared, I was upset, my arm _still_ hurt, I was trapped on a ship in the middle of an ocean with nowhere to go, _and_ I was suffering from culture shock. When people fantasized about time traveling, say to meet their favorite character or whatnot, they never thought about culture shock, especially if it was without any warning beforehand. And I could personally say, it was a _bitch_. Though, I had to grudgingly admit, at least the company made for good eye candy. I huffed a wry laugh.

Boot heels clicking heavily on wood jolted me out of my meditation and I jerked my head up to see _Capitán_ Salazar stride through the doorway into the hold.

 _How in the_ flying fuck _did he know where I was!?_ Sure, I might have knocked a couple of crew into the walls, but there hadn't been anyone down the last couple of corridors. Unless this was purely a coincidence.

He stopped a few feet away from the doorway and stood still, not moving, and somehow I _knew_ that he recognized I was in this room. How the hell he knew that, I couldn't say, unless this was the only place to hide down here, but the _Mary_ was a big ship, I was positive there were more places to hide.

But those fucking little tingles that tickled across my skin as soon as he entered a room might have given it away if he felt them, something I sincerely doubted.

The scared little girl was rapidly being replaced by a boiling, red-hazed anger, a rage built from frustration and fear, two very potent emotions if shaken, not stirred. The tremors wracking my body now were from this new roiling tempest, rather than trembles of fear, but even with the angry tears streaking down my face, I welcomed the change of emotions. I glared at him from the safety of the shadows, baring my teeth and wishing I could attack him, vent my anger on him the way he'd vented his frustrations on me, but it wouldn't do me any good. He was much bigger and the strength of his frame quite evident, even if I hadn't felt it. He wouldn't get taken out by a drowned little rat sinking her teeth into his neck and ripping out an artery.

I bit the meaty flesh of my hand between my thumb and forefinger, the stinging pain helping to relieve the angry frustration that had nowhere to go. I knew I was leaving deep teeth marks, but I didn't care. It was a little bit of a release, and it stopped me from doing something stupid, like attacking a certain Spanish captain.

"You cannot hide down here forever." His voice seized my attention and I narrowed my eyes, snarling silently over my hand. _I don't have to hide forever. Just until_ you _leave, asshole!_

"And I'm not leaving until you come out."

 _Of course the fucker's a mind reader._ I angrily rolled my eyes so hard it was a little surprising they didn't get stuck, the rage fanning higher. I bit deeper into my hand, trying to stave it off some.

Salazar abruptly moved, stepping further through the hold, directly past my hiding spot. The flare of triumph at having successfully thwarted the asshat, no matter how small, doused my rage just enough that I was able to let go of my hand, wrinkling my nose at the drool coating my palm. _Eugh…gross._ I wiped it off on my shirt, noting the purple, well-defined teeth marks in my skin that would probably take a while to fade. But the action had done its purpose. I hadn't tried to break his nose-

"Come down, _Señorita_ Isabeau. _Por_ _favor_."

* * *

 **Translations (Courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Como si tales cosas sucedieran -_ _As if such things would come to pass._

 **Okay, so first things first; here's where I feel the liberties really come into play. The "predictions" that Salazar talks about, near as I can tell, haven't been imagined until the 19th century, but I felt it would be better for Isabeau to have _some_ basis to build on. I apologize for that. I also apologize for any facts Isabeau got wrong, I don't always have time to fact-check. **

**Secondly, I did some revising in this from the original draft and I have to say, I am a lot more pleased with how it rolled out. And just so you can look forward to clicking that "next chapter" button even more (cuz you know I ain't gonna leave you hangin'), he makes up for being a butt in the next one.**

 **And so, tallyho!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Last part of this segment (wow, it was huge. And was even bigger by the time I was done editing it. Whew!), and then unfortunately, the updates are going to slow down a little bit. I have more written, yes, but it's...severely displaced. Plus, I'm adding in another section after this one that wasn't there originally, but I think it'll help things smooth out a little better. And holy cow! We at 11 chapters already, and I'm not even halfway through the rest of it! Daaaang….**

 **Anyhow, the chapter I personally like the most, so far. Here we get to see that he _can_ be nice, when he's so inclined. *winks***

 **Sexy Salazar/Pirates of the Caribbean = Disney, Blue/Isabeau = Me!**

* * *

I yelped at how close he sounded and hurriedly glanced down to see Salazar standing right underneath me, staring directly at my hiding spot. Directly at me.

 _God_ damn _it! What the fucking hell!_ No longer hidden, I bared my sharp canines and viciously hissed at him, causing him to jerk back in surprise. "I want nothing to do with you," I spat, curling further into my nook. "Piss off."

Salazar was quiet for a long, uncomfortable stretch, staring up at me with a borderline thunderous expression, either at what I'd said or how I was acting, then shook his head slightly. "You cannot stay up there all night-"

"Watch me," I sneered.

"-and we are not yet finished with our discussion," he continued, raising an eyebrow in warning to not interrupt him again. "Come down so that you can explain yourself and I can treat your bruises."

I curled my lip and was about to blatantly ignore him when he added quietly, "I will not harm you. I will not imprison you. I give you my word on this."

That promise made me pause.

In this day and age, when honor actually meant something more than just a word, I believed him at his oath. I couldn't say why, especially since he was proving to be an extremely tempestuous individual, but I trusted him that he'd keep his word. Besides, my bruised back was protesting at having been curled into a cramped ball for so long and my aching muscles were making themselves known. And my feet were cold.

Still keeping a hold on my anger, which was somewhat of a challenge since I was usually a mellow person, I warily crept out onto the rafters, keeping an eye on Salazar as he tracked my progress. I didn't feel like torturing my knees with crawling all the way over to the crates, so I levered myself down from the rafter and flinched in surprise when I felt warm hands grip my waist before I could drop to the floor.

"I've got you. Drop." That accented baritone shivered across my skin, along with the heat from his hands through his gloves, and _God,_ the man had a sexy voice. Why couldn't he be a fat pig who stank of garlic or something?

I let go of the rafter and he lowered me to the floor. Soon as my feet touched the boards, I twitched forward, out of his grasp, only to feel one of his hands grip my shoulder before I could move to a comfortable distance. Grateful as I was for the small fact that he was wearing gloves so it wasn't direct skin-on-skin contact, the gesture made me more than a little irritable.

"I'm not going anywhere," I snapped, twisting to try and throw him off, cringing as one of my movements made my arm pulse with a sickening lurch.

Instead, he slipped his hand higher, the feel of the motion sending tingles tickling up my scalp, until he was holding the back of my neck. "I'd rather not take that chance, _señorita_. You've already proven to be quite adept at thwarting discovery."

My jaw dropped in astonishment at the man's audacity in this restraining gesture. His palm all but scalded my skin, his fingers almost wrapping all the way around my neck. I couldn't move, just stood frozen, gaping like a fish. _What. The. Fuck. Are you_ kidding _me?!_

I eventually managed to get my tongue unglued enough to snap back, "Apparently not, since it took you all of two seconds to find me."

"I know my ship better than you do. There are only so many places for a small girl to hide in the hold. To my cabin, _con su permiso_ ," he ordered, tugging me along with him as he strode forward, his pace clipped but not so fast that he was dragging me by my neck.

 _Small…girl?_ My anger began to simmer back to life and I irritably twisted my neck, grinding my teeth when all I felt was a readjusting of his huge hand to secure his hold. _What an fucking_ asshole _!_ Why _the fuck is he so hot, yet such a dick?!_

Still, his grip didn't falter, even when we passed other crew members who paused their duties to ogle, and I could feel my face flushing in embarrassment and humiliation. I felt like some little chastised child, and that fed my anger like gasoline on an open flame.

I was of mixed feelings upon seeing Salazar's cabin door; relieved because he'd let go of me, anxious for what was coming, and irritation that my arm was still fucking hurting, along with a healthy dose of general anger. At least the violent tumult of emotions was enough to murder those stupid little butterflies in my stomach from the captain's presence.

He let go of my neck as soon as I was through the door and I bolted away from him, whipping around to place him in my sights. Leaving the door unlocked, he moved away from it, indicating that if I wished to flee once more, I could. But until he had his answers, I knew he'd just come after me again and bring me back, and there was no guarantee it wouldn't be in a more humiliating position, though I was hard-pressed to imagine something worse than being dragged around by the scruff of my neck.

I gracelessly plopped down on the settee and curled up with a grimace, tucking my arm where he couldn't reach it if he got the idea to grab me again as I awaited my interrogation. I refused to look at him, though, instead focusing on not crying from the sheer stress of it all.

A door clicked and I knew he'd left the room. _If only he was gone for good. Rat bastard_. Deep down, I knew that this situation wasn't all his fault. After all, he hadn't known I was bruised there and he was probably as frustrated about all this as I was, but still! I had no qualms about placing a large portion of it squarely on his distractingly broad shoulders.

The door clicked again and the tread of his boots on the soft rug grew closer until I felt weight suddenly depress the cushion next to my head.

"Give me your arm _, por favor_ ," Salazar murmured softly, a complete one-eighty from his earlier fury. The abrupt change threw me for a loop, and I took a moment to process that, before my anger swept any damn I might have given deep under the rug.

 _I don't fucking_ think _so!_ "Don't want your help, thank you very much, kindly _fuck off_!" I snarled at him and shoved his hand away when what I really wanted to do was punch him and go hide under my bed until this nightmare was over.

He muttered in Spanish, probably something about my language, then wrapped a large hand around my wrist and gently yet firmly pulled my arm free of my curled ball, holding it an unbreakable grip. "Shhh…let me see."

I furiously twisted about, trying to get out of his restraining hands, but he was much stronger than I'd expected. He carefully stilled my movements with little effort, restricting his hold and slipped his other arm around until I found myself half on his lap and clenched in a firm embrace. And after all that, I _still_ didn't have my arm free, dammit!

By now, I was so angry and frustrated I was half in tears again, and I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth deep into his arm, but who knew what the temperamental Spaniard would do to the half-baked crazy lady then. I couldn't escape, and I couldn't fight back, and my muscles were protesting the tension.

So instead I just gave in and went limp, gasping from my exertions, waiting in resignation for whatever it was he was going to do to me. There were a couple of dark spots on his pant leg and I realized they were teardrops. _Oh, goodie. We're crying again._ I had an unfortunate tendency to start bawling when I was really angry, which only pissed me off even more. Like now.

He softly ran a hand over my hair, the gesture unexpected and calming, then he pulled up my sleeve to show the deep purple bruise covering almost my entire upper arm. He hissed in a breath upon seeing the almost black coloring and began applying some herbal-smelling concoction onto my pained skin that almost immediately soothed the pulsing waves. I gathered it had some sort of numbing agent and wished I could put some on my back…

"What is this?" He lifted up the hand I'd bitten and inspected my teeth marks. It surprised me to realize that somewhere he'd ditched his gloves, and his warm, calloused hands were sending waves of goosebumps that emanated from wherever he touched.

"Coping mechanism," I spat through gritted teeth, keeping my arm tense and resisting his inspection. But my anger was flagging, my exhaustion making it difficult to keep the deep burn fueled.

He ignored my subdued struggles and carefully rubbed a thumb over the marks, testing how deep they were. To be honest, I was a little amazed I hadn't broken the skin, as hard as I'd bit.

"Does it hurt?"

I paused for a second as he pressed lightly into the marks, but there wasn't enough pain to bother me. Certainly not enough to distract me from the warmth of his touch. _Stop that!_ "No, it doesn't hurt."

He hummed under his breath at my quick response, but didn't push further. He let go of my hand and moved to expose the bruise on my collarbone, carefully pulling my shirt aside, his gaze darkening as he took in the purple mottling of my skin.

"I apologize for my conduct, S _eñorita_ Revanne," he said quietly as he lightly rubbed in more salve with a warm, careful touch. "It was uncalled for, and I should not have treated you as I did."

My anger I'd been struggling to hold onto cracked and broke, vanishing as quickly as it usually did. I had never been good at holding onto my rages. Now, instead of feeling energized by that churning temper, I just felt hollow, numb. Drained.

I slumped over his arm that was holding me in place, a little grateful that I had something to prop me up. It was a relief to finally have a respite from the pain and I diverted my concentration to striving to ignore how good it felt to be touched. "It's not all your fault. You didn't know I was bruised there-"

"I shouldn't have grabbed you like that no matter how angry I was," he broke in, his voice darkening with anger I assumed at himself, yet his touch remained gentle, soothing. It was difficult to discern if the warmth in my skin was from a reaction to whatever was in the salve or if it was from where his hands had practically scalded my skin as he'd rubbed it in.

I turned just enough so I could see his face, saw the regret clouding his handsome features. With my anger gone, there was just tiredness and being…overwhelmed. Probably like just he was feeling if he believed even a sentence of anything I'd said. "I'll be alright. Being shook like a ragdoll is better than being tossed into a cell again."

Salazar grimaced. "I never should have threatened you with that, nor should I have acted on my ire. You've had enough dealings with being in prison…and that was a terrible breach of restraint on my part."

I shrugged, trying to edge out of his hold as I did so. Being this close to this exemplary specimen of a male in his prime was extremely unsettling, and more than a little too much for my brain to process, especially now that I no longer had pain or anger to provide distraction. "To be fair, I was kind of expecting something along the lines of "Witch!" and to find myself breathing water, so in hindsight, you handled it far better than I would have thought."

He rumbled at that and minutely tightened his grasp in response to my escaping. "I do try to make it a habit not to execute innocent women simply in the name of madness." His wry tone might have made me laugh if I wasn't already about to climb the walls. "You have more bruises, yes?"

I inwardly cringed at the thought of more touching and stroking. I was already on sensory overload from the feel of his hot hands burning my skin, even though he wasn't doing anything "improper", and didn't particularly need to be pushed over the edge. _Hell nah, we need to get out of here before we turn into a limp noodle and_ really _embarrass ourselves_. "Nope, just the one," I lied while not meeting his eyes, trying to squirm out of his hold.

He caught me before I could slip free and held me firmly still against him, giving me a stern look. "Where?"

I grumbled under my breath about the highhandedness of Spanish captains, but rolled my eyes and answered, "Back, mostly. Rest are fine." The feel of being pinned against his firm chest was leeching my brain of rational thought, and the heat from his body felt beyond wonderful. The feel of hard muscle against my back was especially distracting...

Twisting about once he let go and swiftly kicking myself for missing that warmth, I sat up and carefully pulled up the back of my shirt and slid the cotton band up out of the way so he could see. He audibly sucked in a breath at the sight of the apparently lovely bruises peppering my sides and back. I hadn't taken a moment to see them yet, but I could certainly feel them.

" _Díos_ , what did they do to you?" he breathed, lightly stroking a finger down my back, making me shiver at the hot, tingling path it left behind.

"Nothing like what they were going to do," I said, barely noticing what we were talking about as I felt his finger trace lower along my spine, reaching my sensitive lower back. I yipped and my back flexed hard as the muscles convulsed under his touch. "Ticklish! Please don't!"

Salazar snorted, then started to rub some more of the concoction into each fist-sized bruise. "Remain still. I'll be finished shortly."

I bit back a groan at the lovely sensation of his warm hands on my back, the heat he rubbed into my skin feeling oh so good. What did surprise me was how little he seemed bothered by touching me. People didn't generally manhandle one another, especially in this time period. I also knew that Americans as a culture required more personal space than most other societies, but it was still odd that he kept touching me as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Or maybe it was just me, and this level of touching was normal. It could definitely be said that I didn't do a whole lot of tactile contact on a day to day basis. In fact, there were stretches where I went for days without even seeing another human being. That being said, the feel of his hands on my skin felt like heaven…

I gradually slipped into a doze, slowly leaning over until I was all but sprawled across his lap again, as he silently rubbed the salve in until it was absorbed into my skin, basking in the feel of the heat he generated. He smelled good too, like tobacco, sunshine and spice, with a tang of something I didn't recognize but I liked, the faint hint of a mouthwatering cologne. Mmh, he smelled so delicious…

A thought popped into my head, that I'd always been told that if I ever found someone I liked, I should be sure that I enjoyed the way they smelled. It never made sense to me before, but as my head began to slowly spin from this man's scent, I was starting to realize what they'd meant.

"Finished." He pulled away and I bit back a groan at the loss, struggling to sit up with muscles that had taken on a jelly-like consistency. I felt truly relaxed for the first time since I'd woken in this era. Was I that needy or was he just that good? Or a bit of both?

"Difficulties?" he asked me with a raised brow, noting my struggles as I flopped backwards, away from him on the settee.

"Nope, got it." I curled up and waited for his questions. I knew he would have plenty. The space between us rapidly shrunk as I found myself slipping towards him, his heavier weight dipping the cushions so that I was on an incline. _The man takes up way too much room on this little thing._ I propped my feet against his hip and hoped he wouldn't mind terribly the breach of protocol.

He didn't even seem to notice, leaning forward to stare hard at the wall, his expression pensive and brooding.

So I leaned back and stared at the ceiling, counting the whirling knots in the wood, humming softly to myself as I waited patiently, giving him the time he needed to gather his thoughts. My toes were toasty, almost hot, where they were pressed against his uniform coat, and the thought of how lovely it would be to hug him flickered into existence before I realized it and wouldn't go away.

The silence had almost become comfortable when he finally spoke, interrupting my struggles of banishing the errant fantasy of getting a blissfully warm, tight hug...

"Say that I…allow the notion that you…," he trailed off, seeming unable to finish his sentence.

I pulled a cushion from behind my back and hugged it, watching him over the fluffy poof with faint alarm at his deep frown. "Are from the future."

Salazar abruptly stood and took his wonderful heat with him as he began to pace, striding the length of his quarters. "This is not possible- It is simply not possible that you are from-from the future!" he sputtered, the sternness in his face gradually growing darker.

I watched him worriedly as he paced the length of the carpet, muttering under his breath in what sounded like a mixture of English and Spanish. What would happen to me if he reached a conclusion he didn't like? Like that I was lying to him? Or that I was just simply crazy? My stomach lurched with a wave of anxiety and I felt like I was going to throw up.

As soon as the thought occurred to me, he stopped and slowly turned to face me, a hardness settling over his features as my fears came to life.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" he asked with a menacing glower, towering over me even though he was at least three feet away, making me all but cower against the cushions. "All of your actions and claims can be construed as ramblings of a madwoman. How can you prove that you are indeed from the future?"

If I'd just had my phone, ten seconds and I could make him believe that the moon really was made out of cheese. As it was, "My clothes that I was wearing when you took me out the cell aboard the pirate ship? You know, "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies"? Where on this green planet have you seen something like that before?" I knew he'd be hard-pressed to deny that, but it was still fairly unstable ground. And I was surprised by feeling a little disappointed that he was back to his normal severe demeanor. I liked how gentle he'd been as he'd treated my bruises…

"Hmm…." The stormy appearance didn't abate very much, but at least he didn't seem _quite_ as livid. "I concede to a fair point, but it is not much evidence to your case. If you truly are from the future, I would have expected…more..." He gestured at me before pacing closer to sit in the armchair across from the settee to pin me with that piercing gaze.

I blew a harsh snort, relieved that he picked a seat that wasn't sucking up my space, but his toasty warmth was a loss. "If I'd known beforehand that I was going to be deposited unceremoniously into whatever time this is, I'd certainly have packed. I'm sorry that the fact that I was _sleeping_ when all this headache happened is something of a letdown."

His brow furrowed in confusion as he sorted through my words, understanding eventually clearing out his puzzlement. "You speak…much differently now..."

I shrugged and hugged the pillow protectively, putting it between me and the cross Spaniard. "Not particularly. I just toned down my wording some so I didn't sound too odd, but it's not as easy as it looks. Things slip through."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, but let it slide for now. "Am I to understand that no one else aboard my ship has noticed your…errant behavior?"

Wincing, I knew it'd only get nasty if I lied to him now, but I really didn't want to get Reíno in trouble. I opened my mouth to try and spare Reíno, but Salazar held up a hand, halting me before I could say anything.

"Reíno noticed, didn't he…and I assume you asked him not to say anything?" he asked, his features darkening again as his irritation with the disobedient officer rapidly grew apparent.

"I told him that I was going to tell you shortly, and he only found out last night," I said quickly, wanting to keep any repercussions off of Reíno, who'd been nothing but kind to me since this whole fuzznucked mess. "Please don't be mad at him. If anything, you should be mad at me. But I wanted to try and figure out a way to tell you the truth without you exploding into a rage…" I squeezed the pillow tighter, wishing I could use it as a shield against the man in front of me. He didn't frighten me per se, but he increased my anxiety to the point of pain at the thought of what he was capable of, and with my future was in his control, it was a scary contemplation. Promising not to hurt me or lock me up still left a lot of options.

"That explains a few things... _ese chico...Voy a tener palabras con él más tarde._ _"_ Staring at me over his hand, I got the impression he didn't quite know how to proceed. He rubbed his face, his irritation abating to be replaced with a tired stoniness, and I was beginning to wonder if he had a fairly tumultuous nature or if this was just so far out of his book of procedure that he was just having a hard time coping. I would have been more than happy to trade places with him. I was pretty sure that in the end, he had the better deal of this mess than I did. At least he hadn't been displaced several centuries and few thousand miles. But it was disconcerting to realize that my entire future was in the hands of a stranger who thought that I was lying to him-

"Stop looking at me like that," he suddenly snapped with a shortness that surprised me.

"Like what?" I asked, utterly confused. As far as I knew, I'd only been looking at him like-

"Like I'm about to force you to walk the plank at the point of my rapier," he retorted, summing it up fairly well. He abruptly stood and resumed pacing. "I shall allow this notion of your…futuristic origins to continue, but you will be off my ship at our next stop-"

"I thought you said it wasn't safe," I interrupted him quickly, not thinking how it would aggravate him more until I'd already spoke. "You won't even know I'm on board, I'll disappear into the woodwork-"

" _Señorita_ , I already know you're aboard," he sharply cut off my protest, whirling to halt in front of me with an icy glare. "And it's safe enough, passage will be arranged and you will be out of the port before anything can happen, but you are _not_ staying on my ship any longer than that. That, I can promise you."

I gaped at him, feeling an odd stab of betrayal at his statement. To my horror, I could feel tears prickling my eyes as the hurt grew and spread. _Goddammit! I_ hate _being a fucking watering pot!_

Struggling to get my emotions under some meager control, along with that unexpected feeling like he was breaking his word, I could feel the mental shutdown beginning and shakily rose from the settee, sucking a deep breath as I met his hard gaze. "As you wish…I would like to return to my cabin, please, if there's nothing more you want from me tonight."

He opened his mouth as if to say something else, then closed it, nodding slightly as he gestured for me to precede him to the door. I felt him fall into step behind me, an intimidating presence of confidence and command that twisted my strung-out, exhausted insides into knots.

"We will be making port in approximately a week," he said in a smoother tone, as if sensing my emotional unbalance and wished to offer some small, polite consolidation.

I tilted my head in acknowledgement, refusing to look at him. There was a sneaking suspicion that I'd break down into tears if I did, and that was not something I wanted to contemplate.

He opened the door and before I could escape, laid a heavy hand on my arm, stalling my momentum. I looked up at him in bewilderment, but his face was impassive, betraying nothing of what he was thinking. "Please refrain from interacting with my men, _Señorita_ Revanne. The less you have to do with them, the better."

I forced my face to go utterly blank to quickly cover the anger and disappointment that lurched into being. How on earth could I _still_ find this fucktard attractive?

"By your command," I told him flatly, flinching away from his touch and padded away at a brisk clip, resisting the urge to glance behind me to see if he was still standing there. He could go eat shit and die. I wouldn't care.

Unfortunately, I knew I was only lying to myself. I _would_ care, and that irritated me to no end.

* * *

 **Translations (Courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Con su permiso -_ If you please

 _Ese chico -_ That boy

 _Voy a tener palabras con él más tarde -_ I will be having words with him later

 **Hurr, better late than never, right? I'd planned to post this yesterday, but things happened, and I suppose one day isn't much in the long run. But anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this! I'm not 100% happy with it, but I'm close enough happy that I'm not going to poke at it anymore. And just a warning, it'll probably be a short spell until I update again. As I said, more writing's needed and time is not something I have huge quantities off, plus life's probably going to get hella lot busier for a short while, so just hang tight and I'll feed the need soon as I can!**

 **Seeya lata! X3**


	12. Chapter 12

**Heyo, mah peeps! Sorry, no Spanish snacc this time, but he'll be back soon. Promise. Just a quick word: wanna give thanks to piratesangel who's been a lovely mind to bounce ideas off of. I'm sure you'll recognize your handiwork! ;D**

 **(Grrrrr….do we have to? Fiiiiine, ugh) Salazar/Pirates of the Caribbean - Disney; Blue/Isabeau & Reíno - ME DAGNABIT! **

**Halo - Bungie, Mass Effect - BioWare**

* * *

I was so emotionally drained by the time I made it back to my cabin. Salazar's words spun around and around in my head, not giving me a moment of peace. Just the whole clusterfuck of it was enough to give me a migraine. If I'd just had a drop of energy, I'd have worked myself up into a nervous tizzy, so it was actually a good thing I was so tired.

I pushed open the cabin door and saw the steaming bath waiting for me. Smiling briefly at the welcome sight, I tiredly undressed and hoped I wasn't about to wash off the salve. But I could use the heat to soothe my abused muscles.

Gratefully, I sank into the blissful warmth with a shuddering hiss of pleasure, groaning as everything instantly relaxed.

Carefully washing with the cloth, I made sure to only lightly brush over the bruises, not only wanting to avoid unnecessary pain, but also so that I didn't wash off the salve the captain had so painstakingly applied. _Good god, that man is enough to drive anyone crazy with his bipolar attitude. Ugh…My head's spinning like a top._

My muscles had relaxed enough where I didn't feel quite like a hammered piece of meat when I was done, but I missed having a real shower. I'd never been a huge fan of baths, preferring instead to feel the water running over me without sitting still in dirty water, but choice was not something I really had at the moment.

I dried off and put on my pajama shorts, my now clean underwear (seriously, I was gonna have to undertake some drastic measures soon) and wrapped the cotton band around my chest so that I wasn't having to wear my shirt, then sat down on the bed and slumped, feeling tired, depressed, lost-

A knock rapped tentatively against the door, interrupting my glum mood. "Reíno?"

" _Sí_ …may…I come in?" his voice was very quiet and he sounded like he wished he was anywhere else but here.

"Yes, but I'm not completely dressed, so don't panic." I smiled just a little as I imagined the look on his face, even as I began to flush slightly.

I heard a muttered oath and Reíno reluctantly pushed the door open, quickly slipping inside and staring hard at the wall.

Instantly, I felt uncomfortable and guilty for asking him to do this. "On second thought, never mi-"

"'tis fine. This won't take long, and you'll feel better for it." He paused and glanced at me fully, careful not to look lower than my face. "Unless you have truly changed your mind?"

I opened my mouth to say yes, but hesitated. I'd always felt better with shaven skin, enjoying the silken feel afterwards…

Reíno nodded to himself as if I'd answered him. "I will be quick. And perhaps the familiarity will help you feel better?"

I sighed, knowing he was right. A sheepish grimace twisted my face as I glanced nervously down at the exposed skin of my legs. "This is so embarrassing…"

He scoffed at me as he got the shaving items together. "More so for me than for you, I think."

Sticking my tongue between my teeth, I grinned at him. "Can't you just pretend I'm one of your sisters?"

He shot me a look. "My sisters were never as…ah…"

Unable to help myself, I let him flounder for a moment before I glanced down at myself with a self-deprecating huff. "Well-endowed?"

His face flushed beet red and I immediately felt bad for my half-hearted teasing, his discomfort distracting me from my own. "Reíno-"

Before I could ask my question, he cleared his throat loudly. "Shall we?"

"Uh, sure…"I shifted, still leaning more towards saying let's not than forcing him to go through with this mess. "It's not much, just up to the knee-you know what, I've changed my mind, just forget it and-"

Reíno looked me directly in the eye, and for the first time since I'd met him, gave me a stern order. "Give me your ankle."

I gulped, then tentatively placed my foot against his thigh, cold chills chasing across my skin as he gripped my ankle to keep me from slipping and getting sliced. I mentally paused for a quick second to ponder that. It was almost a discomfort when Reíno touched me, yet I could easily resist the urge to draw back. But when I felt the captain's skin against my own, all I felt was hot electricity tickling under my skin and the inexplicable desire to draw closer. _Why? Why is it just him? And why do I react like that?_

Reíno froze and I shook myself out of my thoughts to see what had made him pause. He was staring at my toes with uncomfortable intensity, and I suddenly figured it why he was blanked out.

"It's one of the few feminine vanities that I enjoy sometimes. You can paint your fingernails too, but those chip way too fast, especially if you work with your hands a lot," I explained nonchalantly, struggling hard not to laugh at his fascination with the shimmering blue/purple nail polish on my toenails. It really was a gorgeous color but I'd forgotten all about it until just now.

Reíno made an inarticulate noise as he tilted my foot, absorbed by the metallic multihued colors.

"I've been barefoot since the start. How have none of you noticed?" I asked, now fairly tickled by this whole thing. I was aware enough to realize that I was reaching the slap-happy stage of my tiredness and now's around when I could get really stupid.

" _Que en el nombre de Dios…_ " He inhaled deeply and seemed to set it firmly aside in lieu of the task at hand. "I do not know...Perhaps because you are so light and quick on your feet that no one has had a chance to?"

"Or it's just something you weren't looking for, and therefore just didn't notice it? And I'm sorry that I asked you to do this-" I started to add, only to pause as he squeezed my ankle gently, looking at me with a slight smile.

"I would choose attending to you than seeing to even a quarter of Lady BeKatt's needs." His tone was tinged with disgust and he gave a slight shudder, even as I laughed at his stern declaration. "Trust me, compared to some of the things that I have seen and heard, this is nothing to be concerned about."

"Now, what sort of books do you like to read?" he asked to distract the both of us from the brunt of the weirdness we were going through as he started lathering the shaving cream.

He rubbed the lather onto my skin and I shivered at the cold texture. "Romance and science fiction. Don't you have to sharpen the razor?"

Pausing, he looked up at me with a confused frown. "Science…fiction? _¿Qué es eso?_ And I sharpened it before I came."

I nodded at his foresight, then took a deep breath as I tried to figure out how best to explain the subject. "It's imaginings of the future, for lack of a better term. For all of our technological advancements, we've only scratched the surface of what we're capable of. People have walked on the moon, we've seen pictures of all the planets in the solar system, we're just now beginning to explore the surface of Mars…science fiction is the fantasy of spacefaring travel. Take Halo for instance; it's a videogame about a soldier that was kidnapped as a child and augmented to be stronger, smarter, faster , far more powerful than a normal human. An alien army called the Covenant discover the human race and their colonies on different planets, and attack them, starting a galactic war that costs billions of lives. The enemies briefly become allies as they find an infection called the Flood, which is an exceptionally resilient lifeform, and was what wiped out life in the galaxy previously in Halo history. There's several games in the series, but in the end, the Covenant splits once it's found out that it was all built on lies and the war is pretty much over. Then a new threat emerges when the Forerunners return and the galaxy just kinda goes downhill from there."

Reíno remained silent, appearing to mull that over for a long moment, then twitched his head. "I meant to ask earlier; how did the _Capit_ _á_ _n_ take the truth of your...origins?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Heard about that, huh?"

He shot me a wry grin. "I did hear about you bouncing off of the walls as you raced through the corridors. I imagined few things would cause such a flight. And the _Capit_ _á_ _n_ appeared to be less than pleased when he followed after you."

Remembering Salazar's less than calm reaction, I bared my teeth. "He wasn't the only one was "less than pleased"..."

"You know he would not harm you, at least not intentionally, yes?" Reíno asked, cleaning excess lather off of one leg.

Blowing a tired breath, I tightened the leash on my rampant thoughts even as they raced back to that one moment, when he'd been being kind, and when I'd been pressed against warm, firm muscle- "Yeah, I know. Doesn't stop him from being any less scary when he thought I was lying to him. He seemed...almost murderous. It scared me," I finished quietly, shivering a little at the memory of just how menacing he'd been when he was angry.

I inhaled and blinked, surprised to realize that Reíno had managed to finish both of my legs while I'd been tiredly chattering. "Wow. You're good!"

"Hmm…not as good as I'd like," he muttered, wiping his thumb over a tiny, bloody nick in my calf. "Does that hurt?"

"Nope. And it's small, it'll stop bleeding quickly." I reached and ran my hand over my shins, beaming happily at feeling soft, smooth skin. "You're right, that is much better. Thank you very much."

He smiled back at me. "I am glad that you are pleased. May I?"

At my nod of permission, he lightly ran the back of his hand down my leg, grinning as he felt the outcome of my "strange custom". " _Es como la seda_ …"

"Not quite how you were expecting that to turn out, huh?" I teased, even as I tucked my legs against my chest and concentrated on not yawning in his face.

He shook his head at my question. "No, it 'tis not. But I can see how you would take pleasure in it."

I placed the blame entirely on my overtaxed brain for the completely inappropriate thought that popped into my head next; _would the captain take pleasure in it as well?_

Reíno jumped as I vigorously slapped my cheeks to knock that thought loose and send it careening harmlessly off into the void before it could take hold. _Seriously?_ _Begone, thot!_ "Sorry, trying to stay awake. It's been an especially brutal day."

He accepted my half-lie with only a slight pause, but something still seemed to be bothering him. After a minute, he finally got it off his chest. "You have only encountered the _Capit_ _á_ _n_ for the short while you have been here, and I can understand how he would frighten someone who has already had a taxing period of time even before meeting him for the first time. But please believe when I say that you are safe in his company and in his care, and that he would sooner harm himself than you. You might not believe it after your recent experience, but do not let his reaction create fear or loathing of his presence. He is doing what he feels is best, but he does not have all the answers."

Reíno's words reinforced something that I found myself forgetting while in the Captain's presence; the man was only human. And aside from when he'd accidentally squeezed my bruise, now that I thought about it, he'd been very careful not to hurt me. Even as I'd struggled and almost bit him, he'd kept his strength at a level where it was only restraining. And he was probably capable of breaking bone if he felt so inclined.

Sighing, I knew he was right. It was just...the man was so _overwhelming_! I could barely talk to a cute guy my own age, but dealing with someone of the Captain's class? It was enough to send me spiraling into a panic attack.

Deciding to just set it all aside for later, I wrinkled my nose at what was coming next. If so, this part was even more embarrassing than my legs. _Okay, why the fuck is the fuzz light blonde practically everywhere else except on my lower legs? My armpits, I can get, but the legs, seriously, what the hell?_

Luckily, Reíno didn't seem to be wanting an answer to his assertions. Moving to sit next to me, he began applying more of the lather under my arms and I gritted my teeth to counter the sudden impulse to leap to my feet and run from the awkward embarrassment.

"So this…science fiction…it is to you what your time is to us?"

I nodded, clenching my molars hard as his hand kept my arm still while he concentrated on not slicing my sensitive skin. "Yeah, except for us, the future hasn't happened yet, so we're basically just fantasizing. Plus science fiction is just for fun. It's called fiction for a reason."

"And this...Halo is the envisioning of the future?" His voice was low and soft, as if he knew how hard this was for me to tolerate and was trying to calm me as much as he could.

I appreciated the effort, but I doubted anything less than chemical intervention was going to scrape me off the ceiling. "No, it's just a popular videogame series set in the genre. Another one that kind of shaped my gaming curve is a series called Mass Effect, but that's even a harder concept to explain than Halo."

Chills raced down my spinal column at the feel of the razor scraping over my skin, similar to when you accidently scratched your nails on your car, or bit down on your fork.

"At least try," he cajoled, motioning for me turn around for the other side.

I wrinkled my nose, but complied, both verbally and physically. "Alright, so Mass Effect is a story about a soldier named Shepard," I started as I got relatively comfortable again, this time facing the wall as he began to repeat his process. "It starts with him investigating this alien, Saren, who's basically a rogue soldier with unlimited power, but nobody believes him when he tells the Council that Saren is being controlled by something called a Reaper, a being that is responsible for harvesting sentient races every couple thousand years. So Shepard's trying to hunt Saren and eventually ends up killing him, along with the Reaper controlling him and everybody realizes that the Reapers are real, they're not just bedtime stories. Then Shepard dies, his ship is destroyed, but he's brought back to life a few years later, don't ask," I quickly interjected when Reíno frowned in confusion and opened his mouth as he wiped away the excess the lather. "It's way too complicated and I don't _even_ wanna try. So basically Shepard's back at square one, no one believes the Reapers are coming, and human colonies, _thousands_ of people, are disappearing left and right. So he goes ahunting again and finds a race of aliens called the Collectors, which it turns out are an older race that was enslaved by the Reapers. He deals with them and then the Reapers show up. And it's Armageddon. Literally, it's doomsday." I closed my eyes on a wave of tiredness and felt myself starting to lean over. "M'kay, I'm tapped out. Second wind's gone."

"I shall leave you to rest," he murmured, collecting the shaving kit and cleaning up, since I was less than useless at the moment.

"Reíno?" I mumbled, now fully horizontal, unable to keep upright and starting to feel slightly nauseous.

"Hmm? What is it, _señorita_?"

"Who's the house elf who sets up my bath and keeps putting the blankets back on the bed?" The question was fairly garbled since my face was all but buried in the pillow.

"That would be me," I heard him say with a small chuckle as he picked up my legs and tucked them under the blanket. "I didn't mind the extra duties and anyone else was…wary of you. I hope you do not mind."

"Thanksamuch, you da best," I buzzed, already dozing as I felt the blanket being gently drawn over my shoulders. "'nd I'ma keep whatchu said 'bout ze cap'n 'n mind."

"Thank you, _Señorita_ Isabeau. Sleep well."

* * *

 **Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Que en el nombre de Dios -_ _What in God's name_

 _¿Qué es eso? -_ _What is that?_

 _Es como la seda -_ _It is like silk_

 **Until next time!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Not much to say except I hope you're still enjoying this weirdness I feel the impulse to share with the world. Also, Dead Men Tell No Tales has been living in my computer pretty much entirely since I bought it several months ago. I'm pretty sure I'm burning a hole in the disc in every part with Salazar in it. XD**

 **Magda/Salazar/crew of the Silent Mary - Disney, Blue/Isabeau - BluKoffee**

* * *

Not wanting to make the captain any more irritable than he already was, especially since he held the power to make the remainder of my stay aboard his vessel extraordinarily unpleasant, I stayed in my cabin for a good portion of the next morning, Salazar's parting words from last night whirling around and around in my brain until I was afraid I was going to burn a rut in my skull. I wanted to throw something at his stupidly attractive face, like my logbook or my fist. _He'd probably be too fast_ , I groused, _who knows what I'd end up punching._

Then my brain quite helpfully supplied the memory of being restrained in his embrace, only putting a more heated twist on it…

In a brief moment of weakness, I imagined what it'd be like to be kissed by that infuriating man, only to scramble out of my chair and shake vigorously. _Nope! Nope, nope, nope! None of that!_

I scrubbed my face harshly and got back to working in my book, studiously ignoring any other thoughts that didn't involve my headworlds.

It surprised me that I didn't even feel the stirrings of hunger until hours later. My appetite still hadn't returned to normal, as I was only eating about a meal and a half a day, but I wasn't too worried yet. Plus I always had a hard time eating regularly whenever I traveled, so there was that too.

A knock on the door startled me out of so deep a concentration that I jumped and inadvertently slashed a thick line across the story segment I was working on.

"Fuck," I snapped under my breath, irritated by having my rhythm interrupted, then grimaced when I got up, feeling muscles painfully protest at having been in position for so long. _Damn, how long have I been sitting here?_

Opening the door, I squinted in annoyance at Magda standing on the other side, looking disgustingly well put-together in his uniform, whereas I felt like a scruffy potato. "The fuck you want?"

Instead of running away screaming, he froze, taken aback by my terse language and my pajamas I hadn't bothered changing out of. "What…on earth…"

I rolled my eyes, not having the desire to deal with this. I just wanted to be left alone so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone and get in trouble for it. I was so tired of getting into trouble...

As I leaned back to close the door, Magda broke from his trance and threw out a hand to stop me from closing it in face. "Wait! I have these for you."

He held out a pair of boots that looked like they'd be only a hair too big. "You can't keep running about without shoes."

"Don't want them," I retorted sharply, "And since I don't plan on "running about", it won't be a problem."

With brief look of hurt bewilderment that quickly smoothed into a blank expression, he straightened, all hints of the mischievous Spaniard whose company I'd come to enjoy hidden away. "Begging your pardon for interrupting you then, _señorita._ My apologies."

I slumped dejectedly with a groan as he turned on his heel and started to leave. "Magda! Wait. Please..." Now I felt like a total bitch for taking out my irritation on the poor man. It wasn't his fault his captain was being an unruly ass. I really needed to get my anger under control.

To my relief, Magda paused, then came back to stand in front of my door, but without his usual friendly air. I gave him a small, dim smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken my temper out on you. Are hugs accepted as payment for asinine behavior?"

His lips twitched as if he wanted to smile, but his face was still carefully emotionless as he nodded slowly, warily opening his arms when I moved forwards out of my comfort zone and slipped mine around his waist. I rested my cheek against his chest and hugged him tight, hoping he could realize how bad I felt for snapping at him. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I just…your captain's an ass," I grumbled, laying it out flat.

Magda choked slightly, but his arms closed around me and he gently returned the hug. I felt him lower his face into my hair. "I do not take it to heart, milady. Both you and he have had a very stressful time as of late. And frankly, I'm surprised you haven't spoken harshly before now."

"That's no excuse," I said emphatically. "It's not right to take personal problems out on other people. Especially ones that have nothing to do with it."

Magda pulled back and tapped a finger under my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. "It is all right. You have apologized and I know you did not mean to be angry with me. All is forgiven." He smiled and I was grateful to see that the light was back in his eyes. "However, if you feel the need to continue apologizing, hugs are an enjoyable payment," he added with a wide grin.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "One's enough, since it's clearly gone to your head."

"Will you take these? Please?" He handed me the shoes he'd still been holding, which I took grudgingly, wrinkling my nose at them. "You don't have to wear them if you don't want to," he said, chuckling at my expression. "But you'll have them if you change your mind."

Grumbling under my breath, I pulled back into my room, Magda following me as I went and tucked the shoes next to the dresser.

"How does the captain have you in such a temper?" he asked curiously, craning his neck to inspect my scribblings.

I glared at the wall, suddenly reminded of why I'd been so angry earlier. "He's being a butt. 'Please refrain from interacting with my men'," I mocked in a high-pitched, nasally tone, "'The less you have to do with them the better'." I snorted so hard that it made my throat hurt, but my disgust and irritation overrode the discomfort. "I mean, I can kinda see his point, but at the same time, fucking come _on_! Be reasonable!" Of course, it didn't help in the slightest that he made me wonder about things that I'd never wondered about before, like what he'd taste like...

Magda's confusion cleared into understanding. "Ah, now I see why you were so angry. You have come to enjoy spending time with us?" he asked with a teasing smile.

I shot him an "I'm-not-amused" look. "Did you think I wouldn't?"

My curt honesty seemed to take him by surprise and I kept going. "Yes, between you and Reíno, you've taken care of me, but that can just as easily be done as just making sure I'm fed and have clothes, but you two have been nothing but kind and courteous to me since I came aboard. Even when you didn't have to, you made sure I had everything I needed, and just in general, spent time with me. I try not to be too self-centered as to not notice and appreciate that. I just wish there was something I could do for you in return…" I sat back on my haunches and looked down at my hands. If I was in my own time, I could do something for these men that had treated me so kindly, but here, I knew next to nothing as to how I could repay them.

A hand gently closed over my shoulder and I looked up to see Magda smiling at me, just before he reached up and bopped me on the nose. I snuffed and wrinkled my nose as he said, "Just by being yourself is enough. I am glad that circumstances brought you aboard, as it has definitely been the highlight of the voyage. And as for _Capitán_ , I believe that he will become less firm as we draw closer to our destination."

"Yeah, especially if someone takes that stick out of his ass and beats him with it," I growled, still extremely annoyed with the man.

Magda let out a strained cough, instantly covering his mouth to try and hide his laughter but he wasn't very successful. I rolled my eyes again and got up off the floor, moving to sit on the bed with a sigh. "Welp, on the bright side, at least it gets me out of eating dinners with him and Lady BeKatt. That was a nightmare no one should have to repeat." I shuddered at the memory having to watch those two interact.

"Was the _capitán_ really that cross?" he asked, coming to sit at the other end of my bed so I could look at him without having to worry about cricking my neck.

"Him? No, he was pretty much a perfect gentleman. During the meal, anyways. With the interrogation, not so much, but can't entirely blame him for that. No, it was Lady BeKatt I couldn't stand. She's like… _draping_ herself over him. I felt like asking her if she needed a napkin to wipe up her drool." I shook my head in disbelief, stubbornly ignoring the fact that I'd been drooling a little too.

My stomach picked that lovely moment to make its presence known and that it was about to start chewing on my spine if I didn't feed it soon. I could feel my ears burn a little in embarrassment, but I hadn't had a chance to go out and get something to eat yet. I'd been too busy stewing.

Magda grinned at me in amusement and rose, offering me his hand. "Shall we find you something to eat? And then you can spend the day with me, no?"

I looked at his hand, then at him with equal suspicion. "That's going to land you in a world of trouble, and me in boiling water."

He leaned down to whisper conspiratorially, "No one has to know."

I barked a disbelieving laugh and started snickering. "You really think the Captain's not going to notice? He's not blind and the ship isn't that big."

He drew back and regarded me with a thoughtful air. "That is true…hmm…"

"The only thing that _might_ even in the realm of possibility work is if I blended in with the crew, and even then that'd require a stretch of imagination." As much as I appreciated the effort, I needed to face it: I was under house arrest.

Magda suddenly brightened as if he'd had an epiphany and I groaned, knowing what he was probably thinking. "Nooo…Magda, it'd never work. There's no way I can keep up with well-trained officers who actually _know_ what they're doing, and anybody who looks at me is going to notice."

He waved a hand to disregard my concerns and began digging through the dresser drawers. "No one's going to notice, and if they do, they're not going to say anything, except maybe the Lieutenant and a few of the other officers. Other than that, they're going to think it's a big joke, which it is, essentially. And we're not going to toss you in the deep end, just give you something light that you can handle."

He made a noise of accomplishment and pulled out a pair of trousers that looked like his yet would fit me. "Put these on, and the shoes, and I'll be right back."

I tried again before he left. "Magda! It's not going to work, and it's not worth it!"

He opened the door and turned to give me a wink. "Change clothes!" And he was gone.

"Argh!" I flopped backwards on the bed with a grunt of frustration. The man was crazy! He was going to land us both in so much trouble…

I turned to look at the pants and bit my lip. Boredom had been starting to set in before he'd knocked on my door, and I couldn't very well sit in my cabin for the next few days with nothing but myself to keep me company. On the other hand, when, not _if_ , Salazar found out, I would be in it neck deep.

Whining under my breath, I picked up the pants and told myself repeatedly that this was beyond a bad idea. Like, the _worst_ idea in the history of bad ideas.

But the lure of freedom had a sweet, coaxing taste to it, and I _really_ didn't want to be trapped in here all day. So even though I knew this was going to end so badly, I changed my clothes into the pants and one of the shirts, carefully binding my breasts into place to give the appearance of a flatter chest.

The small mirror showed that even though I wore male clothing, I would be hard pressed to hide my curvy hips and rounded ass and I cursed under my breath, wishing not for the first time that I'd been granted a more slender frame. A second shirt helped more to disguise the decidedly non masculine curves, but I knew I was going to start sweltering soon.

My grumblings were interrupted by another knock on the door and I went over to open the door.

Magda slipped back in, this time accompanied by food and a bundle of dark gray clothes matching his own. "I've got something for your hair. Nobody on the _Mary_ has hair that color."

"Well, I'm sorry I wasn't born Spanish" I said, snatching the food and tearing into it with a gusto, suddenly starving.

"I'm not," Magda replied, and I glanced over to see him grinning widely at me. "If you were, this wouldn't be nearly as fun."

I rolled my eyes. "Somehow, I think this is going to be less fun for me than it is for you."

"Oh, most definitely," he laughed, grinning evilly as he pulled out a small container from the bundle.

Staring suspiciously at it, I wrinkled my nose. "Let me guess, it's nasty, and it's going in my hair."

Still grinning like a mad scientist, he popped off the lid, and sure enough it was filled with some black pitch material that had a strong, yet not burning-off-my-membranes smell. "Boot polish."

"Why am I not surprised?" I grumbled, curling my lip as he slathered some onto his hands. "The things I put up with…"

"Bring me your hair," Magda said, purposefully thickening his accent until he sounded like some cliché villain. I started giggling and rolled my eyes at his melodramatics as I reluctantly moved to stand in front of him, lowering my head so he could slick the dark goop through my hair.

When Magda was done gleefully slathering that nasty shit in my hair, cheerfully ignoring my grumblings, he helped me into the uniform coat. "We'll keep you belowdeck where's there less chance for the _Capitán_ to see you."

"I still think this isn't going to end in any way other than badly," I muttered.

"It'll be alright, _Señorita_ Blue," Magda promised, not easing my concerns in the slightest. With deft fingers, he quickly had the uniform coat buttoned up. When I glanced in the mirror, if I squinted and looked sideways, I could almost pass for a Spanish sailor, so long as nobody looked at my face. "Here, give me some of that mess. And you don't have to call me Blue anymore, you can just call me Isabeau."

He grinned at me as I smeared some of the boot polish onto my face to mimic dirt streaks. "I like Blue better. It appears to suit you far more than Isabeau, if I may be so bold."

"You're not the first person to say that. Which is one of the main reasons I didn't introduce myself as Isabeau." I paused as a thought occurred to me and met Magda's curious gaze. "You know something's weird about me. Why haven't you said anything?"

He seemed startled by the question, then smiled slightly and quietly replied, "Señorita, it is not my place to pry into your secrets."

I cocked my head to the side. "Didn't stop Reíno. Didn't stop the Captain, either."

Magda shrugged sheepishly. "I _am_ very curious about just where you come from."

I shot him a skeptical smirk and scoffed. " _Just_ where I come from?"

He wryly twisted his mouth. "Well…"

I held up a hand. "You know I'm American, and unless something drastic happens, I'm not making matters any more complicated than they already are. If you really want to know that badly, go ask Salazar, but I'm in it deep enough as it is. Please," I added pleadingly as he opened his mouth to inquire further.

He searched my face for a moment, then nodded wordlessly and returned to adjusting the uniform.

I watched his quick, efficient movements, feeling guilty that I wouldn't tell him any more, but as it was, I was pretty sure I'd told too many people already. And too many more had guessed just how much was wrong with me.

After a long minute, I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that I don't trust you, it's-" I started.

"I understand," he quickly interjected, softening his interruption with a small smile. "And I do not take offense. If it is any consolation, I trust that you mean us no harm nor have any foul intentions. So don't worry," he reached and tapped me playfully on the nose, chuckling as I snuffed at him, "I will continue to be your friend."

At his promise, I felt a tension easing in my chest. Somehow, I'd come to care for these men. In just the short while I'd been here, I valued their friendship, brief and shallow as it was.

I cocked my head slightly and felt my face morph into a bright, beaming grin. "Thank you."

He nodded back, then suddenly ducked his head abashedly, an odd behaviour I wouldn't have expected from the somewhat bold officer. "I…I do not normally-" He cleared his throat. "I would like to say that I do not normally have such conversational interactions with people I do not know well."

I frowned in confusion. "How do you mean?"

He lifted one lean shoulder in a shrug. "I tend to keep to myself for the most part, except for a few close friends aboard. The rest of the while I am usually..." He gestured helplessly, seemingly unable to find the right term.

"Antisocial?" I offered, surprised by the admission.

He nodded, and seeing my surprise, explained further. "I am often mistaken for being cold or…ah, aloof? It is not common for me to interact familiarly with the other officers."

I blinked, somewhat amazed by this new insight. "So you spending time with me…why?"

At that, he grinned. "I could not resist your charm. When Reino brought you on deck, I was relieved to be able to assuage my curiosity about our new passenger. But you looked at me like I was some poisonous snake and for some inexplicable reason, I felt the desire to change your opinion."

I laughed and shook my head. "No! That wasn't it at all! You had this, like, look to you, like I was going to wake up one morning to find myself with a frog in my bed or something. Not that I was _afraid_ of you."

"Aie…" he blew a forlorn sigh, "That which is lost at the hands of the mistaken first impression."

I stuck my tongue between my teeth and grinned at him, very glad that he felt he could be himself around me. To me, there was no greater compliment than someone feeling they could be themselves without having to put on a face while I was around.

* * *

 **Heyo, announcement; this is another three-parter, so I iz sorry if it seems like it kinda halts in the middle of a flow. I was trying to keep them spaced somewhat consistently, but I couldn't find a good break in the flow, so I did what I could. But hey, I put up all the chapters like I do, so all you gotta do is click "Next" to keep reading! *thumbs up***


	14. Chapter 14

**And here we go, part 2 of 3! I have to say, I do enjoy doing it like this. That way I don't have to feel as pressured to get you guys the next chapter and you don't have to be left hanging! :D**

 **Pirates of the Caribbean - Disney, Blue/Isabeau - Memememe!**

* * *

Magda suddenly leaned closer and whispered conspiratorially. "Would you like to know a secret?"

I had to smile and ducked nearer, even though it was just the two of us in my cabin. "Always, my friend. Always."

He snickered slyly. "Whenever I _do_ pull a prank, no one suspects me. To this day, some of the greatest ones I've done, like replacing all of the crews hair ribbons with pink lace, have still gone unpunished because they never discovered the culprit."

I burst into mad giggles at that. The mental image of the entire crew of the Mary, all resplendent in their uniforms, pink lacey things in their hair, was just too much.

"Oh, that's evil! Even the Captain's?" I wheezed, clutching my stomach.

He nodded, laughing as well. "It was tricky, but yes, even his. And the worst part was we were hosting a visiting admiral. Everyone had to keep a straight face!"

We dissolved into giggling laughter after that. I could easily imagine it, the stern-faced captain, his masculine features offset by this pink thing tied around his black hair. The thought of even poor Lesaro having to deal with that made me laugh harder.

Eventually, the laughter died down to only slight wheezing as I struggled to catch my breath. "So I have a question."

"Hmm?" Magda was still smiling from the memory of his prank.

"The officer that kept making the Captain angry, the one that died and Lesaro took over his duties. Did you pull any pranks on him?" I asked curiously, wondering why I still felt this odd irritation at the thought of some asshole yanking on the Captain's chain.

At my question, Magda's smile took on a decidedly evil glint. "Oh, yes…"

"You made his life a living hell?"

Magda's grin only widened and grew more demented.

I nodded in satisfaction. "Good boy."

He snorted at that, then his humor abruptly blackened. "He wasn't worthy to serve under the _Capitán_ ," he spat, and I drew back a little, surprised at the sudden change in attitude.

"Tell me?" I wasn't sure what to do to lighten his mood, so I did what I usually did when confronted with irritation and frustration and didn't know how to help; I offered to listen.

 _Magda muttered what sounded like unflattering terms in Spanish for a moment, then switched to English. "P_ _erdón,_ I'd rather not. It makes me very…" He suddenly stopped, inhaling sharply as his face tightened in anger.

"You don't have to, I understand," I said quietly, my teeth clenched and I was grimly grateful that the fucker was already dead. Otherwise, I would've been very tempted to slip a sharp implement between his ribs. _Bastard made my cinnamon rolls angry..._

Magda suddenly sprung to his feet, making me jump at the sudden movement, and shook himself vigorously, tossing off the melancholy memories. "No more of that, we have work to do! We can't laze about all day! Come, come!"

He snatched up my wrist and proceeded to haul me towards the door. I tripped over my feet and fell face first into his back with a yelp, only to be set to rights and yanked out the door.

"Oof!" I grunted as I narrowly missed getting clipped by a corner. "Magda! Holy shit! Slow the fuck down!"

Ignoring my cussing, he simply charged on until he finally stopped at a small room and pulled out s sheaf of papers.

"You're going to help me with inspections, then we'll go from there. Agreed?"

Still breathless from being yanked about full tilt, I could only nod mutely. I was eager to get out of my room, and hopefully I could enjoy some freedom before a certain Spaniard found out. And I was curious about the intricacies of how the _Silent Mary_ ran so efficiently.

At first glance, there was so. Much. Work. To do aboard an 18th century sailing vessel. Another thing is that it was friggin hotter than a hellscape once belowdeck out of the breeze wearing almost full uniform and two shirts, and I was seriously unequipped to deal with the heat.

I kept pace with Magda for a good while during his inspections as he made sure the _Mary_ was running in top form. Eventually, however, I couldn't stop the dizziness slowly building and he noticed that I was starting to overheat. I was forced to go up top and sit down in a shady spot before I passed out.

"Drink, slowly." He held out a cup of water and watched worriedly as I drained it, holding my breath when I was done to stave off the nausea. _I'd fucking murder someone for an A/C unit right now. Or a freezer to stand in. I'll take either one, not picky._

Driven by some inexplicable urge at the sight of his concerned frown, I did something extremely rare for me and reached out to voluntarily touch him, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "I'll be fine. Just got a little overheated. Give me a few minutes to cool down and I'll be ready to keep helping."

Even before I finished speaking, Magda was already shaking his head. "I forget that only a short while ago, you were almost in Death's embrace. You bear it very well but I pushed you much too far, too soon. Catch your breath and drink more, then-"

"Nuh-uh, I'm not going back to my room yet," I cut him off, nipping that in the bud. So far, neither the Captain nor anyone else seemed to have noticed the short, odd sailor tagging along in Magda's shadow. Reíno might have said something, but he was currently up by the Lieutenant at the helm. And I was going to take as much freedom as I could get away with.

Magda stared at me, hard, as if he was trying to force me to cooperate through sheer will. I would have laughed at him if I didn't still feel like puking up a lung. So far, the only person I'd ever met in my entire lifetime that could make me bend through will alone was _Capitán_ Armando Salazar.

And it was so frustrating that I was so frickin' attracted to the douche.

I shook myself like a dog and glancing up, was surprised to see Reíno still up by Lesaro at the helm, looking very uncomfortable as Salazar moved to stand next to his lieutenant. Far as I'd ever seen, Reíno had never been up at that deck before and I was curious as to why, as well as what made him look so uneasy next to his captain.

"Hey, Magda?" I asked, still keeping an eye on my friend and wondering if the captain had said something to him after last night.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know if the captain talked with Reíno this morning or last night?" As I watched, Salazar eyed Reíno with a glare before appearing to dismiss him off the deck, even as the captain stepped down to be waylaid Lady Bekatt, who had just appeared from the bowels of her rat hole.

"I believe he was called to the _Capitán's_ cabin early this morning, but I am not aware of the details," Magda answered, cocking his head slightly at my interest, swiveling around to see what had caught my attention.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion at Salazar's imposing form as he was tortured by the English hyena. _He'd better not have gone after my cinnamon roll…_

"The _Capit_ _á_ _n_ has caught your interest?" Magda asked slyly, grinning when I shot him an unamused glower.

" _No_ , I'm just hoping Reíno didn't get into any trouble for something. _That's it_ ," I added firmly, even as he opened his mouth, then closed it again with a smug smirk.

"I apologize, but I must see to the rest of my duties." Magda pressed a refilled cup of water in my hand, letting the subject of my unwilling fascination drop. "Drink this, and more if you can, and if you insist on not returning to your cabin, please do not push yourself further."

I nodded in agreement, yet he hesitated further. I grinned and gave him a little push. "Go on, go take care of your stuff. I'll be a good girl, I promise."

With a mock disbelieving snort, to which I only giggled at, he finally turned away and strode off, leaving me to stare up at the impressively large sails of the _Silent Mary_ , once again taken aback at just _how_ big this ship was. Even though I was used to gas-powered engines and electricity, it didn't mean I couldn't appreciate the deadly work of art that was the _Mary_.

I made sure I was out of the way and out of Salazar's line of sight as I observed the comings and goings of the crew as I cooled down, the sun eventually warming the back of my neck but I was too fascinated to move. There was a hurried determination to the sailors' movements, not an urgent rush like it probably was when they were about to attack pirates, but there wasn't a sense of dawdling either. It made me exhausted just by watching.

Apparently I was a little _too_ out of the way, as one of the sailors inadvertently tried to sit on me, bringing me back to the present with a jolt. I felt really bad when he leapt to his feet like a scalded cat when I yelped in surprise. He muttered apologies so fast I could barely understand him, bowing and scraping as he shuffled backwards, even as I tried to tell him there was no harm done. A look of abject horror was frozen on his face as he gave into the urge and ran for cover, ducking and making a run for it like I was going to send flaming arrows at his head.

 _Seriously? Even if I had any spells, I certainly wouldn't be wasting them for someone mistaking me for a chair. On second thought…_ Rolling my eyes, I figured it was time to vacate the area before someone came to investigate any rumors of someone getting turned into a cat. Toads were so cliché, and cats were infinitely more useful, in my opinion.

I suddenly heard the lilting feminine tones of Lady BeKatt speaking Spanish, only to be replied to by Salazar in the same tongue and I cursed, slipping around the huge main mast to try and make it to the stairs to go below. _I_ told _that nimrod that this wasn't a good idea! But noooo, what do I know? And now he's run off, with my permission, while I have to friggin' stealth my ass outta here before it's capped!_

Scurrying past the main mast, I dodged a sailor and immediately hit the brakes before I plowed into Salazar's broad back. _Hot damn, this dude is friggin'_ everywhere _! Jesus, man, stay in one spot for a minute!_ Gulping nervously, I managed to avoid colliding into him, and was able to get to the stairs and below deck before he turned around.

And what was it with me and almost literally running into that particular male? I was never this clumsy back home, and now it was like I had two left feet and was just born yesterday. Did the universe decide, like, "Since you want nothing to do with this Spanish captain, we're going to make you run him over at every opportunity. Enjoy!"?

I didn't want to immediately return up top until enough time had passed that maybe Salazar would have gone about his business elsewhere. And now that I had cooled off, I wasn't so worried about passing out from the heat. So I wandered down the different decks, admiring just how efficiently his ship was run. From what I could see and understand, he certainly knew how to make things work smoothly.

None of the other crew so much as batted an eye, which I found a little funny, but I supposed if you were hard at work at your job, you didn't pay much attention to anything else, especially if my disguise did take a second glance to see through. Magda had done his job well, for all of his troublemaking.

The hold was blissfully quiet and I was coming to appreciate bouts of silence where I could get them, especially with being trapped on a ship with so, _many, people!_ At least it wasn't a submarine. At that point, I'd have to say let me off at the next island or let me swim.

Suddenly I smacked facefirst into a wall of spicy-smelling muscle and fabric, making me shriek as I jumped out of my skin. My gaze flashed up to see Salazar's disapproving frown just as he reached out and gripped my upper arms to stop me from staggering backwards off balance. Instinctively, I grabbed his forearms as I struggled to catch my breath and my balance. _Holy_ shit _, where'd he come from!?_

"What part of "refrain from interacting with my men" was misunderstood, _Señorita_ Revanne?" he asked icily, aggravation deepening his baritone to a growl. The captain was very unhappy with me.

I couldn't answer as I hyperventilated, trying to get my breathing to a normal rhythm. The man had scared the everloving _crap_ out of me and all I could hear was my heartbeat thundering in my ears.

He waited with an impatient air, still holding onto my arms, I assumed to prevent me from making a run for it. His eyes flickered over me and both brows drew sternly downwards, the air growing thicker as his voice took on a harsher tone as he all but barked, "Who gave you that uniform?"

I shook my head, in no way, shape or form going to throw anybody under the bus. I clamped my lips closed and hastily withdrew my hands that had still been clinging to his coat sleeves.

A menacing rumble sounded in his chest and his hands tightened, making me wince as he put pressure on my old bruise. Whatever he'd put on them had worked like magic and they had stopped hurting until I had all but forgotten about them, at least until he'd pressed right on it.

He realized what he was squeezing as soon as I winced and immediately released that arm but still kept a grip on the other one.

"How are your bruises?" He leaned closer, slipping a finger past the uniform collar and pulled it down enough so he could see the one on my collarbone.

Trying to ignore his nearness and unsticking my tongue at the same time, I managed to choke out, "Not hurting."

"Good." Inspection done, he stepped back and let me go, keeping me in place with the force of his stare alone. He was most definitely not happy. "I'll only ask once more; who gave you that uniform? And just _what_ have you done to your hair?" he added, peering closer in surprise at my hair, frowning at the dark, ugly color it'd been turned.

 _Just so you know, it wasn't my idea, big guy._ "Boot polish."

But I kept mulishly silent otherwise, not about to give anyone up. I could handle the punishment, after all I was getting booted off soon. These men were stuck on the _Mary_ for who knows how long, several months at least, and that was a long time to be miserable.

His jaw flickered as he clenched it, scowling at me like he wanted to just reach out, wrap his big hands around my neck and squeeze. I lifted my chin slightly in defiance, inviting him to do just that. Although, it probably wasn't for the best for me to goad him. But really, how the hell was I supposed to "refrain from interacting with his men" for another week or so? Like, seriously?

Footsteps came from behind me and I twisted around to see a sailor gesturing for the captain's attention.

"Stay here," he ordered, striding past me to see what the man wanted.

"Woof," I muttered under my breath, cringing slightly when he slid a glower in my direction. _Why_ couldn't I stop antagonizing him? It was against my fairly timid nature around strangers to be purposely pressing his buttons, yet for some inane reason, I just couldn't seem to stop myself.

I listened to the captain's melodic and fluid Spanish, wishing I could understand what he was saying, but speaking and/or listening to things just didn't stick in my brain. Which was might've been surprising given my adeptness with a violin and addiction to music itself, but I'd always found a better handling of written language versus oral. Still, it was a delight to listen to him speak. He had a gorgeous voice, when it wasn't grating in frustration or yelling at someone because they'd pissed him off.

" _Señorita_ Revanne."

"Jiminy fucking Christmas!" I yelped as I spun around, startling Salazar enough into taking a step back. "How do you move as quietly as you do?! You're wearing boots on hard wood, for Pete's sake!"

"You will refrain from taking that tone with me, _señorita_ ," he said shortly, the term not sounding at all polite when said in the tone of voice he was using. "It is no fault of mine that you do not pay attention to your surroundings."

"I pay perfect attention to my surroundings," I snapped, my exasperation making me reckless. "It's when people purposely sneak up on me that I have a problem. And quite frankly, I'm really tired of it."

"If you were in your cabin where you are supposed to be, I would not be "sneaking up on you"," he retorted, my phrase sounding very uncomfortable on his tongue. "And since you refuse to tell me who your cohort is for your inability to follow a simple command, I suggest you _return_ to your cabin in short order before I find myself in a less forgiving mood. On that note, Reíno will no longer be seeing to your… _personal_ needs."

"The fuck you mean by that?" I snapped, growling at the back of my throat in irritation.

"The interactions between you and my officer will be severely reduced."

I gaped in stunned disbelief at his outrageous decree, and the air of finality in his tone. "Wha… Now you're just being a _total_ ass. What the fuck did I ever do to you, besides _breathe_?"

Salazar moved way too close into my personal space, close enough that I could feel his heat, felt the dizziness from inhaling his scent. "Where do I start? You confess to being from the future, which is either a delusion or something I can't possibly fathom, you blatantly ignore my instructions for you to keep to your cabin, you refuse to dress in accordance to your gender-"

"I'ma stop you right there." I held a hand up in his face, causing him grind to a halt midsentence. "As far as I've understood it, Lady BeKatt has taken all the dresses and as far as I'm concerned, she's more than welcome to them. These were the only things that were offered to me while I've been using that cabin. And the fuck you mean I'm not going to see Reíno anymore?"

"It means, _Señorita_ Revanne," his voice menacingly dropped an octave as he brushed my hand aside and lowered his face closer to mine, "that the boy will be reassigned and someone _else_ will be assisting you. Someone whom you'll be likely to _distract_."

I ground my teeth for a minute, struggling to focus without becoming hypnotized by his gorgeous features being so close. Then a thought sprang to mind. In a mimicry of a sweet smile baring all my teeth, I snarked, "And here I thought you'd be happy I had someone I trusted. After all, you can just order him to tell you everything I said. Who knows? I might even spill some secrets you might one day find useful." _Like learning how to chill the fuck out!_

Now it was his turn to grind his teeth. It did strange not-so-unpleasant things to my insides to watch his jaw flicker. "You can hardly be trusted to divulge any pertinent information, _señorita._ After all, it is to be said that you are quite mad."

Unable to come up with a decent enough rejoinder, I instead gave him a somewhat disappointed look. "You know, I was told that you weren't as bad as you've come across in the entirety of my unwitting stay aboard your ship, but so far, I've yet to see any hint of that."

We stared at each other for a grim moment, him seeming fairly livid with my sheer existence, and me beyond irritated at his rigid, overbearing and quite frankly, irrational behavior. Sure, he was the captain and all, but there was such a thing as _too much_. And right now, I was getting real tired of it...

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 **So ya'll probably be wondering "Seriously? This supposed to be a romance! So far, all I'm seeing is him being angry at her, her being angry at him, round 'n round...", but I promise, he'll be chillin' out here soon. Like, next chapter. :) I'm building this slowly (probably too slowly for some of you), and I apologize if you want to just get to the juicy bits (which we'll get, promise), but I think it makes it more solidified if we work out the kinks before moving to the kissy-huggy part.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Part 3 of 3 for this segment (sorry, no witty banter this time, kinda tired, actually)**

 **Salazar/Lesaro - Disney (I'm _borrowing_ , okay?! Chill yo beans), Blue/Isabeau - Dismadnuthere**

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Salazar suddenly closed his eyes and took a deep breath, visibly blowing out some of his impatience in a heavy huff. Opening his eyes, I was pierced with that darkly intelligent gaze, but right now, my feathers were way too ruffled for me to feel anxious. "I will reconsider Reíno's reassignment, but I warn you to cooperate from now on, if you wish to continue enjoying the comforts of your cabin."

I wanted to scoff. He'd already swore he wasn't going to lock me up again, so unless he had something more drastic planned, it was an empty threat. Made brash by the thought, I cocked a hip and crossed my arms over my chest, studying him closely and taking my time looking him up and down as a thought occurred to me. "So then I have a question. Do you have more than two expressions? Disapproving scowl and angry glare?" On second thought, that might've been going way too far over the line.

"Yes, I do. And maybe if you didn't insist on being such a childish hellion, you might even see them," he shot back, pressing closer, close enough that I could feel the heat of his breath on my face. Yet the majority of his anger didn't return. Now he just seemed more frustrated than livid.

Then his words registered.

"C-childish hellion?" I sputtered, abruptly indignant. _Ex-_ cuse _me?!_ "Okay, who's being the childish one here? You're the one who told me to tell you the truth, _all_ of it, and I did! I can't help that the answers weren't the ones you were after. You're the one that said I need to avoid every living soul on this ship, which isn't _that_ big, for an entire week. How exactly do you expect me to do that without slitting my wrists from boredom? I go out of my way to make sure I don't bother anybody-"

"You are an interference just by being here, _señorita_ ," he broke in with evident exasperation, drawing himself up to his full height, which was already towering over me to begin with and I felt a crick starting in my neck. The familiar thunderous look settling over his features was just as unwelcome. "And I asked that of you to keep you out of harm's way-"

"Oh, no you didn't!" I bared my teeth at him, my blood starting to boil at his highhandedness. "You said "the less you have to do with them, the better", which implies that I am a negative influence, which I try very hard not to be. _I_ blend into the woodwork, and the only time someone notices I'm there is when they sit on me. _I_ am not the problem here-"

Salazar abruptly stepped closer with an ominous growl, crowding me backwards and I abruptly realized just how tenuous my position was. Why did I insist on aggravating the very person that held the power to make my life as miserable as it'd been on that pirate ship? _Why_?!

"If you are implying that _I_ am the problem, allow me remind you of the fact that you are wearing a naval uniform, all but impersonating a naval officer, which is a high offense, and purposely putting yourself, my crew, and this ship in danger by running around, unsupervised, aboard a naval vessel."

Something solid behind me tripped me up as I stumbled backwards and I ungracefully plopped down on it, realizing it was a crate, and hurriedly glanced back up to see him looming menacingly, arms crossed in vexation. "You are taxing my patience and my goodwill, neither of which are an infinite supply, and the sooner you cooperate and _stay in your cabin_ , for your own safety, despite what you think, the sooner I can return to my mission of ridding the ocean of the scourge that plagues it. A scourge, I would like you to recall, that almost killed you or if you had survived your imprisonment, would have sold you into slavery or worse." His accent had steadily grown thicker as he reprimanded my actions, something that even though I was starting to get a little scared still sent tingling _frisson_ across my skin.

I suddenly heaved a breath, sagging a little as I realized my permissions had just been revoked. My anger fled on a wave of remorse that I had just all but locked myself in a cell and politely handed him the key. Right now, I kind of felt like crying, and if I was alone, I probably would. And he was right. I didn't know the first thing about being aboard a naval vessel, and I'd been really stupid in thinking that I could wander around without a care in the world like I was back home. At home, I at least knew what the dangers were, but here, I didn't have the slightest clue, and he was right. Even at my most cautious and careful, I could have done something harmful just for the simple fact that I didn't know enough about the way things worked to recognize danger.

As it was, I knew I owed him at least an apology.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, feeling thoughtless, selfish, and just a pinch of pathetic, with a good dose of guilty conscience. "I'm sorry. I just…I don't do well with boredom, it makes me…angry. And frustrated. And obstinate, not to mention stupid. And I just wish…I had something to do, something to keep me occupied, but I don't. I apologize for causing you trouble, that wasn't my intent, I swear. I'm...sorry..." I trailed off, feeling worse and worse. Tears were burning at the corners of my eyes, and it took almost everything I had to keep them at bay. I'd been so stupidly reckless...

"I know you don't care, but I really am sorry that I'm interfering with your life. I'd give anything to change it, if I could," I whispered, then motioned for him to move aside, "Let me up, and I'll go back to my room."

Surprisingly, he didn't step back, continuing to keep me pretty much trapped on the box. I glanced up at him under my wet lashes in confusion, stunned to see his irritation had faded into a questioning frown, as if I was some puzzle he needed to solve in order to reach his next goal. And if I wasn't mistaken, there was a good dose of remorse mixed in, as if he felt bad that he'd chastised me so harshly.

I snorted inwardly. _Like I didn't deserve it..._

"Despite what you believe, I _do_ care about your well-being. Did you truly think that I didn't?" he added when I gaped up at him, dumbfounded. He didn't even sound irritated anymore, but genuinely curious and a little surprised, as if it was a startling notion that I'd thought he'd be happier if I just jumped ship.

Was it possible that he had just wanted me to stay in my cabin out of a genuine concern for my safety, instead of just wanting me out of the way, like I'd thought?

 _Go ahead, kick me while I'm down._ I lifted one shoulder in a weak shrug, unable to look him in the eye. "The thought had...crossed my mind."

His heavy sigh was enough to ruffle my hair. " _Hasta cierto punto, todos estamos ciegos…"_

I glanced up curiously, but he shook his head, refusing to translate.

"Can you write?" he asked, his tone much more mild and his arms were no longer crossed, instead one hand resting lightly on the hilt of his rapier. Still imposing, but at least he didn't look as if he was going to pick me up by the scruff of my neck and fling me overboard at the drop of a hat. Though that might have been due to his stern features rather than being an action he was actually contemplating.

"Uhm," Luckily, I remembered in time that they didn't write in the same style of print I did, "not prettily, but it's legible." Which probably made me look illiterate, but whatever.

"Hmm…" He closed his eyes for a moment, then stepped back, gesturing for me to rise. "Follow me, and I will see what I can do."

I perked up a little. He would give me work? After all that, he wasn't locking me in my cabin?

I hopped off the box and trotted after him as he strode through the hold towards the stairwell leading up a deck, ready to follow him almost anywhere so long as he wasn't locking me up and that he was giving me something to do. I was a little surprised by the abrupt change of his mood, but I was starting think that something about me just irritated him. Plus hadn't Reíno said something about him not liking unexpected passengers?

Suddenly remembering the comment of impersonating a naval officer, I started unbuttoning the waistcoat, quickly growing annoyed at the sheer number of buttons. Not to mention I was starting to roast under thicker second shirt I'd put on. _Magda, you little shitnugget. I'ma kick your ass for this next time I get the chance._

Unfortunately, I somehow managed to get stuck when I was trying to peel off the shirt. "Why me?" I whimpered under my breath, hoping I could get myself free before Salazar noticed.

The universe hated me. I mean, I knew it, but it didn't have to display it so blatantly, because damned if the man didn't turn around at the worst possible moment, and if I had any cash on me, I would have placed a cold, hard bet that the twitch of his mouth was him hiding a smile at my predicament.

I grunted as I managed to somehow get even more stuck. "Okay, the fuck is this?" I twisted, then hissed in pain when my shoulder popped loudly, sending a quick pang shearing across my upper back.

"Here. Stop struggling." Warm, strong hands suddenly held me still, freezing me in place at the contact, tingles of lightning spreading from his touch, then he gently started untangling me from the shirt. I felt tickles of warmth as his fingers brushed against my skin as he separated the shirts.

Much more efficient than I'd been, he quickly helped me out of the shirt and handed me both garments before I'd even been able to feel fuzzy at being so close to him. "Keep these until you can return them to your accomplice."

I shivered at the feel of cool air through the thin shirt, much more comfortable than I'd been, and followed after him. "Can I assume you're not going to punish anybody?"

He blew out another deep breath as he led me through the maze of his ship. "Though I must commend your loyalty, I'm fairly certain who the culprit is. And while I will have a word with him, I'll not give the reprimand he deserves."

I tried to keep quiet, but I just couldn't help my curiosity. "May I ask why?"

Slowing to a stop, ignoring the few sailors that quickly scurried by with only a handful of curious glances, he turned about to give me a long, steady look. "Because while he bent his orders, he was also fulfilling his duties on another front, which I can't very well chastise him for. But I do not approve how he went about it."

I really, really hoped he didn't think it was Reíno who'd gotten me in trouble, and I almost opened my mouth to tell him who it was, but then Magda would get in trouble too and I wouldn't be a very good friend if I just tossed him under the bus to save Reíno. This was terrible dilemma…

Fingers lightly brushed under my chin and I jerked in surprise, lifting my head to see Salazar watching me carefully. "You really have come to care for them, haven't you?"

His incredulity confused me. What was it with these people? "You're not the first person to ask me that. Why wouldn't I?"

He said nothing to that, only kept his gaze focused on me, flickering over my face as if his answers were hidden in my expressions. I had the feeling that I'd surprised him, but I couldn't figure out why. After all, it was natural for humans to form friendships, even though I functioned just fine solo.

Finally, he seemed somewhat mollified by whatever conclusion he'd drawn, which just confused me even more, and gestured for me to walk alongside him. "You need not worry about Magda, he will continue to get you in trouble, I'm sure," he started, glancing at me when I twitched in surprise. "I know my crew well enough to recognize his tricks. Rest assured that in your regard, he did not intend anything malicious."

I murmured that I knew he hadn't, and he continued, "I would still prefer that you avoid the majority of crew as much as possible, but I have come to recognize that it may not be…feasible."

 _'Bout damn time._ "So I take it this means you're not going to tie me to the mainmast in a fit of pique until I cooperate?" I asked warily, still uncertain as to what was going to set him off next. This cordiality was nerve-wracking, waiting for him to fly off the handle again.

Without looking back at me, and in a thicker accent than usual, he all but purred, "S _eñorita,_ if I was going to tie you up, it would most definitely _not_ be to the mainmast."

I stumbled to a halt at that liquid, suggestive tone. _W-wh-_ what _did he just say?! He's not implying-_

Salazar immediately noticed that I'd frozen in my tracks and circled back, his mouth curving into something that could only be described as a smirk. "Something wrong?"

Still shocked speechless, unable to believe that he had actually said that, or unless I was _greatly_ misreading that comment, I could only haltingly shake my head in response. _I swear, if I didn't know any better, he j-just suggested..._

Instead of clarifying or retracting his outrageous comment, he quirked an eyebrow and simply waited for me to get my unruly, bewildered thoughts under control. Which was not happening because now my brain was firmly entrenched in the gutter while my doubts were whispering mercilessly that I was a stupid idiot to even _dream_ that he'd implied that little remark.

And yet, I couldn't stop the blush that heated my cheeks.

He saw it, and his smirk grew wider. " _Mi, qué sonrojo."_

I had a faint idea of what he'd said, and mutely glared at him in awkward embarrassment, unable to come up with a properly scathing reply. _Maybe I'll get lucky and the floor will open up and swallow my idiot self._

To my surprise, he only chuckled at my reaction, then tilted his head to continue following him. After a moment, I reluctantly did, still glaring hotly at his broad back.

He led me towards a familiar section, stopping at Lesaro's open door. I warily peeked around Salazar's bulk to see the lieutenant was still pouring over papers, though he looked up at the sound of bootsteps.

"Heyo," I greeted meekly, aware that I was still walking on eggshells where the captain was concerned.

Lesaro gave me a slight smile and a nod in return.

Salazar stepped forward and gestured at me. "I brought you an assistant. She says she can write, so she may help you take notes, if you do not mind."

Lesaro shook his head that he didn't. "The assistance is welcome. Please, come."

I slid around Salazar and trotted over to an empty chair, curling up on it as I awaited my instructions. Lesaro handed me a piece of paper with some lines in English on it. "Copy that so I can see your handwriting."

Cringing inwardly that this wasn't going to end well, I did my best, glad it was in pencil and not ink. I wondered uneasily how Lesaro was going to receive my weird style of writing.

While I was doing that, I could hear the two talking quietly, but they stuck to Spanish, so I couldn't eavesdrop, dammit. I wrinkled my nose and tried to ignore the feeling that they were talking about me.

" _Keep her out of trouble_."

" _She only gets into trouble because you antagonize her_."

" _I do not antagonize her!_ "

" _Yes, you do. But I'll give her work and she'll stay out of the way._ "

" _Mmm…she did say she doesn't deal well with boredom.._."

" _That does not surprise me, especially after she offered to help me yesterday_."

" _She was helping you_?"

" _Indeed. Seemed quite eager to as well. I think that so long as you give her tasks to occupy her time, she'll be fine. And perhaps it might be that she feels the need to do something in return for having rescued her_?"

"... _Either way, keep her busy and off the main deck. I can't have her running around and disturbing the crew_."

" _Disturbing the_ _crew…or disturbing you_?"

Salazar gave Lesaro a hard glare, indicating that whatever the lieutenant's last comment was, the captain hadn't appreciated it. Lesaro had a blatantly smug look to him, which I winced a little at, hoping he knew what he was doing if he was poking at the tetchy captain.

I quickly looked back down at my writing, scribbling out a few words to try and mimic the writing style, and stubbornly ignored the weight of Salazar's glare when it landed heavily on me for some reason. Yet surprisingly, it didn't bother me nearly as much as it would have earlier.

He whirled around and angrily stomped out, apparently much to Lesaro's amusement as I saw him smirk after the captain's retreating form.

Then it was my turn.

My handwriting passed inspection and Lesaro worked me hard, but I enjoyed it. I didn't like hard work constantly, I was a bit lazy when it came to that and easily burnt out, but I'd had a long stretch of nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs, so I was having fun. The aching fingers, not so much, but it was worth it to finally feel challenged.

He had me copying notes, and jotting down marks on reports, but he left the neat handwriting to himself, which I was grateful for. If it was in print, I could have done it, but cursive was a different animal. And his handwriting was especially elegant.

I was watching him write and didn't realize I'd said that last part out loud until he murmured absently, "You should read the C _apitán's_. He has excellent handwriting." I was glad he hadn't looked up to see my flushed face. That would have been embarrassing.

It was dark out when I jolted upright, not realizing I had dozed off until I felt a hand lightly clasp my shoulder. Blinking alert and glancing up, I saw Lesaro standing next to me, looking concerned. "You should retire for the night, _señorita_. You did good work. Now go to bed."

I creakily unfolded from the chair and gave him a tired salute with a yawn. "Yes, sir." I stretched, twisting in certain places that elicited wonderful pops and cracks. Lesaro cringed at the sounds and I quickly stopped, shooting him an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I forget that it upsets some people."

He shuddered and waved a hand at the door. "Come back tomorrow afternoon and I will have more work for you. _Buenas noches_."

"G'night," I murmured quietly, staggering out the door. I hadn't eaten dinner, but I wasn't hungry, just bone tired. I did feel a little disappointed I hadn't been invited to the captain's quarters for dinner, but I figured I was on probation and wasn't going to be getting VIP treatment any more. However, the thought surfaced that it _did_ give Lady BeKatt opportunity to turn his head, but I quickly tamped that down. I was not here to get into a catfight over some 18th century Spaniard. _No_. Just, no.

I shook myself hard and meandered back to my room, glad I knew my way around the _Mary_ enough that I could stumble around on autopilot. The bath sat full and waiting in the middle of the room and I almost cracked my shin on it, changing my mind mid-step that I would use it now instead of ice cold in the morning. The water was barely lukewarm, and someone had left a covered dish on my dresser, so I wasn't worried about starving. I was grateful for the thoughtfulness, since I had been certain that I'd been forgotten. The little touch that I hadn't been felt nice.

One quick bath later (I did doze off a few times, but tried to hurry so I didn't have to worry about drowning), I peeked under the lid and saw some bread and fruit, but I still wasn't hungry, so I left it for breakfast.

The covers were toasty as I curled up under them, not feeling like sleeping on the hard floor tonight, and got comfortable. I buried my nose in my pillow and drifted off, finding myself dreaming about a certain Spanish captain…

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 **Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Hasta cierto punto, todos estamos ciegos -_ To an extent, we are all blind.

 _Mi, qué sonrojo -_ My, what a blush

 **Alrighty, my peeps! Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did! I should be able to upload again soon, next chapter *should* only require faint touch-ups, but you know how it is, life, the universe, and everything gets in the way. :1 Also, I'm going to end up changing the rating to M, cuz there's plans for "fun" in the far and distant future. Just a heads-up!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, so this chapter...is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITES! And I've just been _waiting forever_ to let you guys read it! I really hope you love it as much as I do! Plus couldn't wait any longer, which is why it's been updated so quickly. XD**

 **PotC: DMTNT - Disney, Blue - BluuuuuuKoffeeeeeee**

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For some inane reason, I was rudely, abruptly awake, that terrible period of time where you're alert all of the sudden from a deep sleep. My eyes flicked open and it was still dark, no source of light except the pale cracks of faint light of bright stars through my boarded window. I didn't know what had woken me, if anything even had or if my brain had just hiccupped and decided it was time to wake up. Grumbling deep in my throat, I wiggled out from under the warm covers and stood, shaking myself a little like a wet dog in the cooler air, dislodging the twining tendrils of that weirdly heated dream I'd been wrenched from... _Oh, god, the fantasies are infecting my dreams now..._

Irritation at being stupidly jarred awake for whatever reason had me clicking my teeth together, especially after having been so tired earlier. I'd get some fresh air, putter around for a few minutes, then go back to bed. As much as I enjoyed being awake at night, doing things that required brain on no sleep was not fun. Speaking from experience here.

That being said, I found that I simply loved wandering about the _Silent Mary_ at night. The gentle creaking of the rigging as I slipped out onto the open deck wasn't really heard during the day, what with the bustle of sailors and shouted orders. I could hear the soft susurration of the waves as the massive warship slid gracefully through the water. I glanced up at the helm but didn't see anyone, yet I knew the ship wasn't left untended. There was someone about to keep an eye on her. Somewhere else where they weren't bothering me.

The wonderful scent of brine filled my nose as I inhaled deeply, enjoying feeling like I had the entire ship all to myself. I liked being able to have peace and quiet without being around people for extended periods of time, me being a very introverted person, and being aboard a 18th century naval vessel made that an impossibility. Still, the quietness of almost everyone asleep except for a skeleton shift made for a comfortable stretch of time alone.

Even though the air was relatively warm, the cool breeze kicked up by the slight momentum of the ship made me shiver and I wished I had thought to put on pants instead of slipping around barefoot in my pajamas. I padded along the deck, appreciating the freedom of feeling well-scrubbed wood under my toes and my stealthily silent steps. Grinning, I almost wished there was someone on deck so I could try and scare them.

I slowly made my way down the length of the ship, craning my neck to stare up at the proud sails of the _Mary_ hanging almost still in the air, the enormous stylized eagle across one I knew to be a symbol of Spain, mostly just from watching movies.

I kept moving until I found myself staring out over the waves just before the _Mary_ cut through them. Except there weren't any waves. Before me was an endless stretch of almost glasslike calm, a perfect, rippling reflection of the cloudless night sky above. It looked like we were sailing through diamonds scattered on a flowing black velvet blanket. Seeing so many stars always reminded me that no matter how important we thought we were, in the grand scheme of the cosmos, we didn't even rate as dust. It was a humbling and magnificent vision of beauty.

I curled up next to the railing and set about committing the extraordinary sight to memory while I dimly contemplated the Captain's strange behavior. I was fairly certain I knew why he was always so angry during our brief interactions. I had upset his concrete view of the world, without any solid evidence except my word, and I doubted he much appreciated that fact. The question was what I could do about it. Unfortunately, the only ready answer was nothing. There was nothing I could do to restore his order and I felt guilty for that. Nothing I could do to help convince him to believe me either. But I didn't like waiting, yet that was all I could do until the man reached his own conclusions. I just wished he could be less towards me. It got really tiring being constantly yelled at.

 _There_ was _that moment when he wasn't angry..._ my mind whispered, helpfully pulling up the memory of that _very_ unexpected innuendo in that deliciously accented baritone...

Blowing a harsh breath, I shivered again as goosebumps prickled over my skin, not entirely from the breeze, but I wasn't ready to go back to my cabin yet. Not with dreams and fantasies still plaguing my sleep. Plus the view was just too gorgeous to let waste, so I told myself a few more minutes, then I really needed to try and get some more sleep.

I started singing under my breath, eyes on the night sky as I leaned back comfortably against the sturdy wood of this magnificent ship. "Look at the red, red changes in the sky, look at the separation in the border lines…but don't look at everything here inside, and be afraid, afraid to speak your mind. Took a moment before I lost myself in here, took a moment I could not be found…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I blinked and shook my head slightly, feeling a little disoriented as to why I was keeping the _Mary's_ figurehead company before I remembered I'd come out here for solitude. I blinked again, realizing I must have dozed off and I yawned, grateful to see it was still dark. I didn't particularly feel like being caught in my pajamas by the main crew, even though I was pretty sure they were used to my weird little quirks by now, up to and including the way I dressed. But the little glow-in-the-dark monster with cookies might give them pause, not to mention seeing so much of my pale legs. _Let's see if we can go back to sleep, just in our bed..._

Absently wondering why I wasn't chilled anymore, I leaned upright and felt fabric sliding off my shoulders. I reflexively grabbed it, feeling heavy broadcloth and thick thread under my fingers as I pulled whatever it was back around me to keep the breeze at bay. The teasing scent of spicy cologne and sunshine struck familiar cords, along with a tinkling of metal, and I knew what I was covered with before I glanced down and saw the distinguishing black and white stripes of a Spanish Royal Navy uniform coat. Captain Salazar's coat.

I quickly looked around, but didn't see him anywhere, making me wonder just how long I'd been dozing under it. With no one in sight, I briefly snuggled in the warm, heavy material for an instant, then clambered to my feet, the deep creases in my skin telling me I'd been asleep for longer than I'd thought. I was practically swimming in the huge garment, yet the feeling of being swamped by its comforting warmth in an odd little hug, breathing in that strangely soothing scent, made me smile blissfully.

The gesture of covering me with his coat surprised me, what with his recent attitude towards my existence. I'd have thought he'd rather let me freeze into a popsicle rather than sacrifice his coat for a mortal enemy. Well, maybe mortal enemy was taking it a bit far, but no one could deny that the man was more than irritated, less than angry, with me. However I greatly appreciated his considerate gesture. His coat was extremely comfortable and toasty warm, and I enjoyed being able to shamelessly inhale that teasing scent.

Quietly sneaking back along the length of the ship towards my cabin, I was trying to figure out how to give Salazar his coat back when I saw that he was in fact standing at the helm, eyes closed and his face lifted into the slight breeze, a faint smile gracing his lips.

I couldn't help but smile myself as I recognized that expression of contentment, the peaceful look easing his strong features out of the usual stern demeanor and gave him a much calmer air. Silently, I marveled yet again at so many chances and accidents in the genetic pool and the end result for him was one very visually appealing. The lack of his coat didn't detract from his magnetism in the slightest. If anything it seemed to add _to_ it, if that was even possible. Unable to help myself, I took in his lean, fit form, clad elegantly in black waistcoat, white cotton shirt, black pants and black knee-high boots that all added up to one mouthwatering figure. The slender rapier belted at his hip only emphasized his proud figure, adding a bit of menace to the edges of his civilized veneer, bringing home that this wasn't some young, posturing pup, but a mature, confident male in his prime. And damn, he was so far above my paygrade, it was laughable.

 _Come on, you can't stand here forever staring at him. Kick it into gear, we need more sleep if we're going to function tomorrow._ I shook myself out of my drooling and padded up the stairs to the deck where he stood, remembering to make noise so he wouldn't think I was sneaking up on him.

Salazar opened his eyes as I scaled the stairs, the cold air making me shiver as I gently pulled off his coat and gave it a quick shake so I wasn't handing it back to him in a wadded bundle and held it out. He took it and started pulling it back on.

"Thank you," I said quietly, turning around to prevent getting hypnotized by the purely masculine motions and started to go back down the stairs.

"Why do you not wear shoes?" I heard him ask. I turned to see he was staring fixedly over the _Silent Mary's_ helm, his cheek ticking as he clenched his jaw, as if kicking himself for asking such a personal question.

I looked at him uncertainly. Why would he care? "Because I prefer not to." _And not all of us can look as good in knee-high boots as you do. Which is just wrong, fyi._

He didn't say anything, merely nodding in response to my answer and I was at the bottom of the stairs when he spoke again. " _Señorita_ Isabeau, a moment, _por favor_."

I paused midstep. He never called me by my first name. I turned back to see he was descending the stairs after me, shivering again in the breeze as I waited for him to move closer.

He circled around me until he stopped with his back to the breeze for some reason, standing in front of me. I tilted my head, trying to figure out why he hadn't just halted at the base of the stairs.

Then I realized; he'd done it to block me from the chilly wind.

I stared up at his still calm expression, feeling curiously affected by the gesture. _Stop that, he's just being polite- Uh, hello? That's a little bit more effort than gentlemanly!_

"You enjoy being out here? At night?" he asked, his deep baritone jolting me out of my viciously warring thoughts.

I nodded, smiling joyously as I leaned back to stare up at gently swaying sails, the clear, flickering lights in the darkness. "I love being out at night. It's calmer, softer than the blinding brightness of day. And the stars look like diamonds scattered on black silk."

I felt my cheeks warm, faintly embarrassed to have carried on like some dreamy-eyed romantic, but when I dropped my gaze to meet Salazar's, he was watching me with an understanding smile, like he knew exactly what I'd meant and felt it himself.

We both looked back up at the stars, and I felt peaceful contentment of being out at night fill me with a calming comfort. I distantly recalled the furious shouting match from earlier and belatedly wondered if this was the same life, the same day, the same man. Yet for all the emotional turmoil I usually felt when I was close to him, at the moment, all I felt was an odd sense of belonging, as if I was exactly where I needed to be, right now.

Suddenly, Salazar stepped closer, the warmth of his body soaking into my chilled skin with tingling little shivers. Before I could even glance at him, he had gently grasped my shoulders and turned me around to stare at the expanse of sky behind the _Silent Mary_. "Look."

I gasped in wonder at seeing the faint band of the Milky Way stretching across the star-scattered void. The wide beam of dust and starlight so dazzling and entrancing that I felt like I could dance under it and be able to float. "It's so...beautiful…"

"Yes…it is…"

Something odd in Salazar's voice made me tear my gaze away from the haunting sight and turn around, catching sight of him watching me with such a potent expression that it was just as powerfully breathtaking as the sight above us.

I didn't know how to react. I'd never seen anyone look at me that way, not as if they'd seen my soul and thought it on par with a shooting star or a sunshower. Something precious and magnificent that rarely came to pass, that deserved to be held close and cherished for the rest of a life.

I could only stare back, feeling confusion and bewilderment tugging on each other's tail in my chest. Why was he looking at me like that? He could barely stand my presence.

But his eyes...

As that captivating look was shuttered under his previous calm expression, I retreated back to my default of self-worth. _He wasn't really looking at me that way. He'd just been looking at the sky, was just affected by it. No one would ever look at me like that. I'm not special enough, not attractive enough, not worth that sort of possibility..._

The doubting thoughts were enough to taint even this sheer, exquisite moment with a crippling blow to my self-esteem. What I wouldn't give to have him look at me like that for real, without my stupid mind running away with me and painting things in a light that were just as false as they were painfully never going to happen.

Yet even as my self-esteem dropped to around my ankles, I felt warmth against my skin and knew he'd moved closer. "Are you alright?"

I forced myself to look up at him with a strained smile, only to see that he was watching me carefully, and I knew he could see through me with unerring accuracy. _Those eyes..._

Sucking in a breath, I was ensnared in his gaze as he reached up and softly brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. "It will all be well in the end. I promise you."

And suddenly, I felt better. I could breathe. The doubts faded to a background hum. So many times I'd heard "It'll be alright" to the point that it was just empty words, a phrase that I laughed at because I knew it was a lie. Yet when he said it, I couldn't help but believe him, felt the weight of his sincerity as he murmured those words.

My smile this time was genuine and grateful. "Thank you…"

Like I'd been struck with lightning, I could see what Reíno had been talking about. I saw that the angry irritable individual I'd seen so far wasn't the only facet to this man, that he was kind, he could be gentle, and looked out for those he cared for.

 _What am I to you?_

Even as I was stunned by that question, that revelation, he straightened and offered me a warm smile, the moment retreating behind a veneer of polite congeniality. "Wear a coat next time you wish to enjoy the night air, _por favor_. You would not want to catch ill."

"Will do," I replied faintly, watching as he turned away and ascended the stairs to return to the helm, before slipping through the doorway and back into my cabin. _What…what just happened?_

I was too awake to go back to sleep once I hit my bed, and thoughts of those intense moments whirled around in my brain at hyperspeed. So I lay on my bed and simply listened to the sound of the waves, closing my eyes to find myself fantasizing about the captain again, against my better judgment, this time with him watching me with that intense gaze. If I'd been a more self-confident individual less prone to anxiety and self-delusion, I would have even gone so far as to say it had been a look of…

Hunger.

* * *

 **Btw, the song she's singing is "Echelon" by 30 Seconds To Mars. It's an old, old favorite of mine. God, I just love this chapter. There's a bit more to it than what I'd had for the longest time, and I think it expanded upon the moment beautifully. Originally, it just ended with Blue going back to her cabin after she returned his coat, but the section after that was a very recent development from a change of mind, and I absolutely love what it became.**

 **And for added atmospherics, when he shows her the night sky, listen to "I Run To You" by MISSIO. It's what I was listening to while writing/reading/adoring that part ^.^**


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm back! Sorry for the long wait! It's been really, _really_ crazy (when is it not?) for me lately. I honestly don't know how I'm still functional. But anyway, I've got a present for you guys! Another multi-part with moar tastie Spaniard! Whoo! And Miguel returns as well. ^.^**

 ** **I wanna thank everyone who left such wonderful reviews! Thank you so much for all your kind words and I'm glad to hear you want more! So without further ado, to my lovely readers, enjoy!****

 ** **Pirates/Salazar - Disney, Miguel and Co./Isabeau - the stillcrushinghardonSalazar person (The Last Guardian/TeamICO)****

* * *

And so it went for the next few days.

I quickly fell into a routine where I would sleep mostly during the day and work at night, avoiding as much of the crew as possible, doing reports for Lesaro, odds and ends for Miguel, and just generally having a surprisingly good time, what with being stuck in practically the Dark Ages and all. It also worked well so that I didn't have to worry about my ivory skin burning in the brilliant sun during the day, which made me happy. Well, happ _ier_ , anyway.

Magda and Reíno still dropped in frequently to check up on me, but for the most part, I was left to my own devices. Usually, when I was done with my work, I'd spend time up on deck, hanging out with some of the skeleton crew that were on the graveyard shift, and take my logbook out with me to work in.

I hadn't seen Salazar again after that first night and I didn't let myself feel the sharp pang of disappointment whenever I thought about that.

Lesaro seemed to always be at the helm when I came out late at night, and I briefly wondered if Salazar had stationed him there to keep an eye on me, but didn't dare ask.

Sometimes I'd go up and keep him company. We didn't usually talk much, I just worked in my logbook by lamplight and he didn't seem bothered by my presence nearby. I tried to be as quiet and out of the way as possible and he actually seemed to appreciate the company, so I'd curl up in a corner nearby and just write, there to talk or listen if he felt like it.

Nobody seemed to mind my nightly wanderings after the first night though, and the crew was more than happy to let me listen in when they were telling each other stories.

I especially enjoyed listening to the stories about their previous escapades under Salazar, and more than once, found myself asking questions about him. There were two sailors in particular, one a younger man missing an ear who went by Roberto and one of the Spanish marines who liked to smoke pipe when he was off duty, that were quite eager to spill any information on Salazar that they could. I was pretty sure they were hoping I wouldn't hate the man because of how he'd treated me as of late. Not that I would if I could help it. I understood he was going through some serious mindfuckery at the moment, but I highly doubted it was any less than what I was going through. Still, it bore tolerating, and since I was the trespasser in this case, I took on the mantle with only slight grumbling.

One particularly long day, I was sitting up on deck with the crew, and tonight, they were telling stories of Captain Salazar's previous skirmishes. The longer I listened, the more I grew impressed with the military intellect and raw talent that was the captain, as I couldn't doubt that they were telling them without embellishment. It made me almost pity the victims that weren't smart enough to turn tail and run from the naval might of the _Silent Mary_ , or if they were, only to be hunted down and mercilessly shattered by her cannons.

Eventually, I managed to summon the nerve to ask Roberto about Salazar's past. Just to assuage curiosity, I had told myself.

The man gave me a small, secretive smile, which made me suspect he thought I was asking for "other" reasons, which I was certainly _not_ , and regaled the history of the infamous pirate hunter. How Salazar's family had been all but destroyed by pirates, through various events that Roberto refused to share, and consumed by a burning beacon of drive, he'd become one of the most prominent, youngest captains in the Spanish Royal Navy. And now, all but nearing the end of his campaign to clear the seas of the human plague, he was in pursuit of the last known ships of piracy. A few were still scattered to the winds, but Roberto said that there were orders in place for other captains to go after them. Salazar was cutting off the head, and others would come to bury the body.

Intrigued, I asked him about the captain himself, his personality, his quirks. Things that made him human.

And when Roberto shot me a smug little knowing smirk, I told him that if he breathed a word about it, I would shave off his eyebrows while he slept.

Amidst the howls of laughter, he managed to tell me that Salazar was pretty much a very private person, that the general crew didn't know him very well on a personal note, but that he looked after those under his command. For details, I'd be better off asking one of the officers. What Roberto _did_ know was that Salazar was a rigid yet very fair captain, and to serve on his ship was one of, if not _the_ best, place to be posted in the Spanish fleet. It almost guaranteed advancement, as sailors under him were nothing but the best, and if they weren't, he expected perfection, even if he had to carve you into it. To serve aboard the _Silent Mary_ was a huge honor, greatly sought after by many sailors, yet only a select few were picked.

He was also an extraordinarily skilled swordsmen, one of the best wielders of a rapier that Roberto had ever heard of, and as a rebelling son of a fencing master, he'd seen a few.

Despite being thoroughly impressed, I mentally wrinkled my nose at the image forming in my head. _Drill sergeant, instills absolute loyalty, perfectionist, workaholic. Oh, goodie, a type A personality._

Sighing, I muttered under my breath the reminder that I couldn't stand anyone who smoked to add to his list of faults, few that they were. Totally ignoring that I strangely loved the smell of pipe, as I always found it comforting and it reminded me of rainy days in a cozy armchair with a good book.

The marine, who was close enough to have apparently overheard my mumbling, seemed almost pleased to inform me that the _Capitán_ didn't smoke, but he was often around his officers who did, which was why his clothes smelled like tobacco.

I blinked at him, a little surprised, and if I admitted it to myself, felt a little better that the captain didn't partake in one of the most popular vices known to man.

He winked at me and casually strolled off to enjoy his own bout of smoking.

For the most part though, I still didn't know much more about what made the captain tick than when I'd started, which was a bit of a disappointment. I tried not to spend too long reflecting on why I was so curious about the man, too much of a coward to admit anything to myself.

I was distracted from my informational hunt when I suddenly found myself press-ganged into telling stories to the night watch.

Two of the other graveyard shift workers were sitting close by, along with Roberto and the marine, whose name I still didn't know, when one of them asked me to tell a story.

"Why am I having to?" I blurted out, taken by surprise by the sheer eagerness on the sailors' faces.

"Because, _señorita,_ you are a fresh face and we need new stories," the marine said with a kind smile, taking care to blow smoke away from us. "The stories we have told have been heard many a time before, and we could use new ones."

Wrinkling my nose, I groaned at being put on the podium like this, but there was no graceful way out of it that I could see. Besides, it was only four people. I could talk to four people.

I sucked in a deep breath and made a face. "Fine. _One_ story. That's it."

The pleased, beaming smiles I got in return gave me warm fuzzies and I tried to ignore that I was starting to enjoy the feeling of acceptance by the crew.

Clicking my tongue and staring out into the beautiful, starry dark, I mentally shuffled through my library, trying to find something that I could tell them without giving away my "futuristic origins", as the captain had so efficiently put it. I was sure they knew something was off, I _was_ sitting around in breeches after working like a dog after all, but still, no need to let them know just how off I really was.

I landed on one of my favorite videogames, one that wrestled for top spot between Monster Hunter and the Last of Us, and knew it was the perfect story to tell.

I grinned happily and settled back on the crate I was perched on, then began telling a story of a young boy who woke up in the ruins of an ancient, isolated civilization, with only a wary two-story tall feathered dog creature to keep him company.

The story carried on, and I got a little uneasy as more crew gathered to listen, but I kept my eyes trained on Roberto and the kindhearted marine so that I wouldn't start to freak out.

I had just reached almost the end of the story, where the boy is taken home by his companion, when every sailor abruptly leapt to attention in complete unison.

That action and the familiar tingle of electricity that danced over the back of my neck said in no uncertain terms who had crashed the party.

 _El Matador del Mar_.

Slowly, I turned just enough to make out the icily stern visage of the man who stood right next to me as he carefully looked over the sailors. They stood stockstill, awaiting either orders or punishment for having been lax of their duties. With that expression on his face, I could easily imagine him staring down some cocky pirate right before he brought them to complete and utter destruction at the end of his blade.

A long, tense moment later, he jerked his head to the side and they scattered like pinballs, leaving me to face the dragon's ire solo. Not a happy thought.

I snuck another look at his face and sorely wished for my charge blade from Monster Hunter. He might be a skilled swordsman from the stories Roberto had told me, but one hit with a Super Amped Element Discharge and his buns would be severely toasted.

Oddly enough, he ignored me and barked for Roberto, who instantly scampered over to Salazar. I stealthily slid off the crate and crept around the barrels neatly stacked up behind it until I was out of Salazar's line of sight, then made a mad dash for the stairs leading belowdeck, not even going to try for my cabin. It was too far of a sprint and I wanted not to be a target for the man's attention with the mood he was in now.

I was almost below the stairs when I gave in to the urge to glance back at Salazar, only to freeze when I saw that he was watching me, one eyebrow raised as he stared at me meaningfully.

I gulped and cringed, feeling guilty that I'd unwittingly distracted some of the crew. _I'm in for it now..._

Yet surprisingly, instead of flying at me in a rage, he only pinned me with a look for a few moments, let the threat of punishment sink in, then waved a hand at me and turned away.

Shocked that I'd been let off hook so easily, I slunk down the stairs and wished I could stop making the man irritated. I wasn't a very outgoing person, certainly not one to draw attention to myself, yet it seemed like the only thing I kept doing every time the captain was around was push his buttons. It was almost as if he could psychically tell when I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing. More than a little freaky, truth be told. And then there was his uncanny ability to seem to always know where I was…

I shook my head and turned in a slow circle, trying to decide where to go next, since topside wouldn't be safe for a while.

Still wide awake and not even close to being ready for bed, I tripped down to the galley to pester Miguel.

For once, the energetic cook wasn't bustling about as a human tornado. Instead, he was sitting at the table and looking through a particularly dusty book.

"What's that?" I move closer to see it was an old book, but couldn't make out what it was a book of.

"Ah, family…how you say, _reliquia de familia_?" Fluttering his hand in frustration, he grimaced and I could see he was trying to find the English equivalent, but it was eluding him.

I cocked my head, not quite understanding the term he'd used, but it almost sounded familiar… "Say that again? Slower."

He made a skeptical noise but did as I asked. " _Reliquia de familia_."

"Family relic?" I translated, then with a flash of understanding, I exclaimed, "Heirloom! It's an heirloom?"

Miguel grinned at me in response. " _Sí,_ heirloom! It 'tis, was _abuela's_ , she gave to me before left on _la Maria_. Some good _recetas_ , some old memories. Many things on pages."

He fell silent and I kept quiet too. I might not be the best of people persons, but I could recognize when some moments just needed to be left wordless.

True to form, Miguel didn't stay still for long. Shaking himself vigorously, he carefully snapped the book closed and moved over to the shelf holding the rest of his books to slide it back in. "Have no work right now-"

"I know," I broke in with a grin. "I just wanted to come bother you for a little bit."

"Hmm." He squinted at me disapprovingly, but by the crinkling of his eyes, I could see he didn't mean it. "Very well. You can stay. For short while. Then bed."

Victorious, I hopped up on the table and watched as he gracefully moved about the kitchen. He almost reminded me of a ballerina, if said ballerina looked more like Spanish Mafia and was wearing an apron instead of _pointe_ shoes. I giggled quietly at the image, then movement caught my eye.

It was the cabin boy, slinking around the corner, carefully eyeing me as he crept past. I waited until he got closer, then snarled and snapped my teeth at him, unable to resist the temptation.

He leapt into the air with a high-pitched squeal and lit out like his ass was on fire, making me roar with laughter at the sight.

" _Señorita!_ _¿No tienes vergüenza?_ " Miguel barked at me as I fell back on the table, laughing helplessly. _"¡El pobre chico no se merecía eso! ¡Usted debe estar avergonzado de sí mismo!"_

I knew he was telling me off, but it'd been so funny I honestly couldn't have helped myself. "D-did you see him?" I wheezed, tears streaming down my face as I held my aching ribs. "He jumped at least a foot in the air!"

Miguel glared at me and I started to feel a little bad, but then I remembered the kid's comical reaction and I dissolved into giggles again.

"Bah! _Equipaje insolente_. Apologize to Jorge when see him next! And out of _mí cocina_!" Miguel snatched up a towel and flicked it at me.

Still giggling, I warded off the halfhearted towel snap and rolled off the table, out of range just in case he flicked me again. "I will, I will! I promise!"

"Hmph! _Niña traviesa_ …" He shot me a disapproving look, then started moving around again, apparently feeling I'd been chastised enough. "When come tomorrow, I need book. Is in small cupboard, lots of items. Not used much, but has box of papers, books. Need big one with cover on it like this." He held up another cookbook with a slightly tattered leather cover with embossed flourishes on the spine, before setting it down, grabbing a nearby lantern and ducking into the storeroom.

"Where is it again?" I asked, still grinning as I committed the details of the book to memory. My short term memory had always pretty much sucked, so I didn't want to bring back the wrong one. I hated it when I did that.

"Is where you put boxes other day." He reappeared again with a small box that he set on the table and dumped it. Vegetables rolled out and he began washing them off in preparation for cutting. "No rush, just when you can. And take lantern. Don't need you running into wall."

"Oh! I know what you're talking about!" I bounced over and carefully grabbed the lantern, not bothering to explain that I had good night vision. "I'll bring it next time I come by."

"Tomorrow when come to help," Miguel said, waving his hand as he went back to his cookbooks. "To bed with you! And apologize to Jorge when see him!"

Giggling, I slipped out the door and followed along the corridors, reviewing my mental map and was quite pleased with myself when I found the storeroom right where I'd remembered it. I figured I'd grab the book before I went to bed. That way, I didn't have to worry about forgetting it tomorrow.

I pulled open the door, careful not to clip the lantern with it, and was disturbed to note that there wasn't a latch on the inside for some odd reason. Which meant if it got shut behind me, I'd be stuck in here until someone let me out. Grimacing at the thought, I made sure to nudge one of the boxes on the floor against it to prop it open. I was not a fan of small, dark places with no accessible exits.

"Be just my luck I get locked in here," I grumbled, then added after a quick thought, "So, let's make a dare with the universe! At least there's not a snowball's chance in hell I'd get stuck in here with the captain."

Now that I'd said it out loud, it wasn't going to happen. That was the way it worked. And I just ignored the slight twinge of apprehension that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to blatantly taunt fate, especially with how my life had been going as of late.

"Oh, quiet. Nothing's going to happen," I muttered to myself, starting to wish I hadn't said anything.

Shoving it to the back of my mind, I busied myself with looking for Miguel's stuff, wishing I'd at least have been plopped into a time with working lights, instead of friggin' matchsticks to see by. The light from small lanterns in the corridor helped, but it still couldn't compare to an actual lightbulb.

The storeroom was fairly small, with a bunch of shelves filled with various items that seemed at random, like someone had played shuffle purchase at a fleamarket, and a smallish table was set under the shelves holding the books.

I carefully set the lamp down on the table and searched through the titles for my target. I pulled out a book that looked like one of Miguel's, checked the spine to see that it was what he was looking for, and whooped quietly in triumph. _There, see? Nothing happened-_

"What are you doing?"

"Holy fuck!" I shrieked, whipping around to see a dark shape looming behind me.

Several things happened at once.

First, my elbow knocked over the lamp, luckily dousing the flame as it landed on the ground with a loud rattle, but didn't sound like it broke. I managed to lose my balance and fell back against the wall, twisting my ankle quite painfully in the process. The owner of the voice, whom I now recognized was Salazar, somehow managed to grab hold of me before my head cracked against the wall, instead hauling me up tight against his hard chest.

And the door closed shut with an ominous click, plunging us into darkness.

"Oh shit."

" _Mierda_."

* * *

 **Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Señorita!_ _¿No tienes vergüenza? ¡El pobre chico no se merecía eso! ¡Usted debe estar avergonzado de sí mismo! -_ Have you no shame? The poor boy didn't deserve that! You should be ashamed of yourself!

 _Equipaje insolente_ \- Insolent baggage

 _mí cocina -_ my kitchen

 _Niña traviesa_ \- Naughty girl

 _Mierda_ \- Salazar is expressing his own dismay at the door closing ;)

 **Muahaha…. Dun. Dun. Duuuuun…. :3**


	18. Chapter 18

**Part 2 of 3! And so, our intrepid two are now locked in a room together! What will happen? What _could_ happen? Nothing like _that_ , c'mon, get your minds outta the gutter! *smirks* Fun stuff doesn't happen yet, but we're getting there, slowly but surely. XD**

 **DatSexyBeast - Disney (*chokes air*), Isabeau - Me! Whoo!**

* * *

We stared at the shut door for a moment, and I was too stunned by what had just happened to realize immediately exactly where I was. Then the strong masculine scent of spicy cologne and cinnamon tickled my nose and made things deep inside squeeze in response. I was startled to realize I was still held tight against him, tight enough that I could feel his heart pounding against mine, feel his chest pressing against my breasts each time he inhaled, the band of steely muscle wrapped around my back to hold me in place- I abruptly jerked back, away from the temptation to just melt into him. _Whoa! Stop right there! We don't need that kind of trouble!_

Unfortunately, pulling away put weight on my ankle, which sent sharp pain lancing up my leg. I hissed a pained gasp and immediately shifted off of it.

"Are you injured?" Salazar asked, something that sounded like concern audible in his voice.

 _Yeah, there's no way. He couldn't care less._

I grimaced, hating that it was my friggin' ankle that I'd hurt. It was something a dumb little damsel in distress would do, damn it. "My ankle. I twisted it when I fell. It'll be fine, I can walk it-whoa!"

I was brought up short by hands at my waist, lifting me in the air. I frantically grabbed his forearms at the startling movement, only to be placed firmly on the table, off of my injured joint. For some reason, he wasn't wearing his coat. It allowed me to feel the ripple of muscle in his arms under my fingers and I quickly pulled back, feeling almost burned by the heat of his skin under his shirtsleeves.

"Easy," he murmured, running one large, warm hand down my leg, sending answering shivers skating down my spine.

"Hey, paws off!" I snapped as I tried to twitch my leg out of his grasp, but he effortlessly subdued my struggles. "Listen here, fucker-"

He clasped one hand around my calf and clamped the other over my mouth, much to my indignation. "Hush. _Déjame ver_."

Completely ignoring my efforts to peel his hand off of my mouth, he continued his inspection, lightly testing my ankle to gauge the damage.

Even muffled by his hand, I couldn't silence my cry of pain, tears leaking out of my eyes as I clutched his thick wrist to try and temper the piercing bolt of pain that shot up my leg.

"Shhh…I am sorry. I needed to assess how badly you twisted it," he said soothingly, gently stroking my throbbing joint, wiping away my tears with his thumb. "It appears to be only a sprain."

I managed to wrench free of his hand over my mouth and snapped, "I could have told you that, asshole! That fucking hurt!" His soft touch eased the pain and the throbbing quickly died down to a manageable level, now that he wasn't poking at it. But still!

The bastard clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Language, _señorita-_ "

"Fuck my language! Next time you do that, I'll bite you!" I snarled, startled when I felt fingers softly caress over my cheek in a comforting gesture, wiping away tears he'd missed. I jerked away. "No touchie!"

A strangled snort burst from his direction and he pulled away. I heard movement as he rustled around for something, then there was a clanking noise as he set the lamp down on the table next to me. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut as I heard him strike a match, light flaring through my eyelids. I cracked them open, squinting hard to not be blinded as he lit the lamp, casting his harsh features into almost demonic shadow.

I shifted uneasily as he lifted the lamp and set it on a higher shelf, decently illuminating the small room, which was starting to seem claustrophobically small now that he was sucking up all the extra space.

He inspected the door, giving it a slight push to test it while I watched him warily, growling quietly under my breath in response to this fuzznucked situation and his suddenly mellow mood.

I didn't trust Salazar's coolness. He'd been invisible for days, then pops up out of thin air just in time to catch me telling stories to his men, then acted all chill about it? After he'd been so vehement for me to stay away from interacting with any of the crew? I wanted to ask him which was his real self, or maybe they both were, and he was just a hypocrite. Or he'd changed his mind on his original demand. I wanted to ask but didn't dare. I worried it would set him off if I did.

Pausing with unnerving stillness, for a brief moment he all but slumped against the locked door, something I never would have expected from the daunting captain. It made me uneasy and I couldn't help wondering what was so bad as to cause him to allow such a show of weariness or the quiet muttering under his breath.

"Any particular reason it doesn't have a handle on this side?" I asked nonchalantly, trying to distract myself from noticing that I breathed in his enticing scent with every inhale. And that he looked especially mouthwatering without his longcoat, the black waistcoat and black pants making the white shirt underneath stark in contrast. And with those distracting boots that only accented his long legs...

"It doubles as an impromptu cell in case of emergencies." He straightened to turn and pin me with a studious look, making me increasingly uncomfortable as the sole focus of his attention, which was always unsettling. It never failed to make me feel like my thoughts were written on my face for him to read.

"I think your brig is big enough you don't need to worry about space. So you're saying that we're essentially stuck in here until someone notices?" This was not good. Of _all_ the people on this ship, it just had to be him I was trapped in here with. Although, at this point, why was I surprised? I _had_ challenged the universe, after all.

"It has been brought to my notice that I might have been…harsh towards you," he said quietly, ignoring my question.

"Uhm, is this really the best time for hashing this out?" I asked, now really regretting my taunt at fate earlier. The universe certainly had a perverse sense of humor. "Shouldn't we, I don't know, be more concerned with getting out?"

"My ship is well-crafted, and we are not getting out anytime soon. The situation is not ideal, no, but I intend to take advantage of it."

"Great. Stuck in a broom closet with someone who hates me. Just my luck," I muttered, paying him no attention and if I hadn't been lamed and had room for it, I'd be pacing in a tight circle.

"I find you exasperating," Salazar corrected, leaning back against the door to study me as I fidgeted. "However, I had an interesting discussion with Reíno earlier, who brought up a few points in regards to your…predicament. He made some valid arguments for the majority of what I find vexing about you."

"Oh, this'll be good," I muttered acidly, wanting nothing more than for the universe to teleport me _elsewhere_ , where I was _not_ locked in a supply closet with a naval captain from the 1700s.

"For one, he brought to point that you are incredibly far from home."

I paused in my internal ramblings and stared up at him, stunned. Of all the things he could have said, that wasn't what I'd been expecting.

He watched me silently for a few minutes, then said quietly, "I am…ashamed to say, I never stopped and thought about what this is like for you. To be suddenly wrenched from everything you find familiar, essentially kidnapped in your sleep, and deposited in an alien land with no idea how to get home, or even if you _can_ go home."

I had to blink rapidly to stem the sudden hot flood of tears. I'd been doing fine until he'd said something and I was _not_ going to cry here. The tears from earlier had been from pain. That was different. I was not about to have a breakdown tonight, in a broom closet of all places, in front of this man. Still, his words brought to mind that for all my efforts to ignore it and make the best of what I had, I was still lost and scared with nowhere to go. Quite frankly, it was terrifying.

"Homesick," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut, stoutly refusing to melt into a bawling fit.

" _¿Perdón?_ "

I cleared my throat and croaked, "Homesick. I'm homesick." I pulled my knees up onto my perch on the table and kept my eyes shut so I wouldn't have to see his pity.

"Homesick…"

I heard his bootsteps, but still couldn't help my slight flinch when I felt a big hand suddenly stroke my hair, startling my rampant turmoil into silence with just a touch. I hadn't expected to feel so comforted by just such a simple touch, or that he'd permit such a show of emotion, and it surprised me, added another facet to the image he presented.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, both of us unwilling to break the silence as he continued to soothingly pet me.

It felt so nice… _he_ was being nice. I had been giving him mostly the benefit of a doubt for his crankiness, since I knew how well _I_ dealt with unexpected guests, which was not well in the slightest. I could only imagine how it was for him when science fiction wasn't even a thing yet. At least I had a bare knowledge of the past. He didn't have so much as an inkling of the future.

I tilted a little and leaned into his hip, grateful for the peaceful moment, however long it lasted, along with the warmth I was shamelessly soaking in. The faint trace of cinnamon teased my nose, even as I inhaled the scent that was purely Salazar and was steadily growing addicted to. I dimly wondered why he smelled like cinnamon instead of pipe smoke but was too busy getting high off his cologne to care. He already looked good enough to eat, was it really necessary that he smelled delicious too?

"I thought you said no touching?" he mocked lightly, even though the easy humor was audible in his voice.

"Exceptions can be made," I mumbled, burying my red face in his waistcoat so he couldn't see my blush.

"Mmm…" He didn't stop petting, much to my bliss. The rhythmic motions were putting me to sleep, and I doubted he'd take kindly to me drooling on him, but it felt too good to move. So I stayed still, practically lying on top of this temperamental stranger who, surprisingly, didn't seem to mind one bit. In fact, he shifted closer to better support my weight as I relaxed under the gentle strokes.

"What is like?" he asked after a moment, the stillness of the air making it easy for his voice to vibrate through my skin. "Suddenly living in the 18th century?"

"Thought you didn't believe me? Something about you don't care for liars?" I muttered sourly, causing him to withdraw his hand

The disapproving frown was tangible. "Do not throw my words back into my face, _por favor_." He didn't shove me off of him though, instead placing his hand on my upper arm, careful not to press into the healing bruise.

I huffed in response, but took a moment to gather my thoughts so I could answer his question, wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut so I could still feel that big hand moving through my hair. "It's…it wasn't pretty, especially given _where_ I woke up," I said hesitantly, stubbornly ignoring the memories clamoring for my attention. I didn't want to spoil this rare moment with the sourness of those few days.

At his silence, I glanced up, noting the curious, almost bewildered look on his face, as if he couldn't imagine what I was going through. Couldn't blame the man. _I_ couldn't even imagine what I was going through.

"Here, let me tell you a little something about me; I don't like change. It makes me feel very…panicky. Especially unexpected changes. Even a rearranging of furniture throws me off. And I haven't traveled more than a few hours away from home in years, and even _then_ , it was only short trips. So to unexpectedly, with no warning whatsoever, wake up three hundred years into the past or whatever godforsaken year this is, several hundred miles away from home, is…it's…" I swallowed thickly and shuddered as the anxiety clawed at my lungs. I couldn't even comprehend a comparable word. Pulling away from his comforting warmth, I concentrated on even, shaky breaths to keep the churning waves of panic under control, even as the familiar ache kicked up in my left forearm.

"Daunting," he murmured quietly, moving away to lean hard against the wall.

I barked a black laugh as I tried to massage the ache away. "That's an understatement, but close enough, I suppose."

He sighed and rubbed at his face before staring up at the ceiling. "Everything I know to be true about the world says I shouldn't believe you, yet your speech, the state of dress we found you in…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "Yet I find that I must admit it is…quite admirable, how well you're dealing with this, even if you _are_ mad."

I shrugged and looked gloomily down at the floor. "Don't really have much of a choice. Might even be better if I actually _was_ crazy. But would it help if I had devolved into a nervous breakdown? Tears, panic, the works? I don't really have any options _but_ to be okay. Anything less is just…" I couldn't even find the energy to finish a sentence.

Silence and stillness gave the shadows in the room weight, and I closed my eyes, feeling like I was carrying a huge, suffocating blanket across my shoulders.

"Where you come from…how greatly does it differ from here?"

With an effort, I raised my head to lift an eyebrow at him, wondering if he was messing with me. But he seemed honestly curious, not merely playing along with my "delusions".

Shifting a little, I winced as my ankle twinged again, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been earlier. "Everyone lives life in the fast lane, always rushing from one place to another, always somewhere to be, a list of things to do, never enough time to do them. Forever driving from work to home to work, over and over and over again until taking a slight detour is fun and exciting. The stress of constantly having to worry about your job, your home, your car, making sure the bills are paid, making sure you can afford _food_ , just trying to get by while your society slowly collapses around you is enough to have you on the constant edge of a breakdown all the time. And then the crushing inevitability that all you do is work, work, work, with the promise of retirement, of being able to sit back and enjoy the sunshine is nothing but a lie, a stick with an imaginary carrot. There won't be any money by the time you retire, which if you're lucky will be before you die, but good luck with that, as they keep raising the retirement age. And then watching as your life slowly falls apart faster than you can duct tape and band-aid it back together into some meaningless resemblance of an existence only adds to the constant strain of just trying to live."

Swallowing a few times to get some moisture back into my mouth after my diatribe, I looked over to see Salazar frozen in shock, as if I'd smacked him upside the head with a two-by-four.

I grinned wryly at him, even though I was totally serious about everything. "Have I shocked your delicate sensibilities?"

He blinked, as if surprised that I was teasing him, especially after the fairly depressing description of my life. "Your time sounds very…interesting."

I blew a disgusted snort. "That's one word for it. Not the one I'd use, but accurate. But it's…different here. Slower, less noise. Quieter. All you can hear is calming waves…" I forgot I was still answering Salazar's question as I trailed off, lost in my thoughts until he shifted and I abruptly returned to the present with a jolt.

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, studying me with that piercingly intelligent gaze. "I'd like to hear more about your time."

My eyes focused on a whorl in the wood grain across from me. "Anything specific?"

"What do you miss most?" he asked softly. His deep baritone was so quiet I almost didn't hear him.

"Where do I start? I miss my mom, my grandmother, I miss my pets, I miss my music, I miss my bed-" I quickly bit my lip hard to keep from breaking down into tears at the thought of everything that was snatched away when I'd been dropped here. For all the stress and anxiety of my life, I wouldn't really change it for the world. I loved my life, most days, and this was a huge, heartwrenching change in circumstances.

Sucking in a shaky breath, I continued in a wobbly voice, "The worst part is not knowing if I'll ever be able to go back. I don't know if I'll see my mom again, never get to squeeze my idiot dog, never listen to my music addiction…" I had to stop. I was going to start bawling here really soon, and I didn't want to put anyone through that, let alone poor Salazar. The metallic taste of blood whispered along my tongue as I bit my lip again.

I pressed my face into my knees and curled tighter as I tried to stem off the wave of tears, knowing that I wouldn't feel better afterwards and it wouldn't solve anything except make me feel like shit. 'It's a good release', my ass. Yet despite my best efforts, I could feel salty moisture trickling down my cheeks.

"What's your greatest accomplishment?" His deep voice was calming, the silky sound of his accent a balm along my raw nerves.

Another shuddering inhalation and I almost had the tears back under control. But it was easy to answer his question _._ Wryly, I scoffed, "I passed an exam."

"Come now. Impress me."

I lifted my head, jerking a little to see that he had moved to stand in front of me, looming in the dark like some grim specter. I shrugged again. "Nothing really to impress. I sat down, flipped through some pages, answered some questions and passed. Biggest accomplishment of my life."

He sighed in faint exasperation, lowering his bulk until he was sitting on his haunches, staring up at me. "I think I may claim to have come to know you a little, and I can tell that you're not quite telling the whole truth. So, you have my permission," he reached up and tapped my nose, making me snuff, "to impress me."

I chewed on my lower lip for a second, then thought, _What the hell?_ "It was a six-hour exam that was extremely expensive to enter. One hundred questions, but they were spread out over a book about this thick," I held my thumb and middle finger a good four inches apart, "and a lot of people don't realize how much preparation is needed to pass a test like this. A few just up and walked out halfway through because there was no way they'd pass. The lowest passing grade is a seventy."

He waited a beat, then prompted, a small smile dancing at the edges of his extremely kissable mouth, "What was your grade?"

I blinked, mentally shaking that thought loose from where it was clinging. "Eighty-nine," I smiled sheepishly, then added, "I tied with the highest score of the class."

Which was no mean feat. That test had been _brutal_. I'd sat in my car for a full fifteen minutes afterwards, positive that my brain was leaking out of my ears like scrambled oatmeal. "It was so challenging that they actually suggest that you bring food so that you don't pass out in the middle of the exam. I'll die happy if I never have to go through it again, but I am proud that I did, and passed."

His face unexpectedly twisted into an expression of discomfort and he seemed to grit his teeth before asking, "And did your…husband take pride in your accomplishment?"

My brain hiccupped and I could only blink at him in mute disbelief. What _did he just ask me?_ I honestly didn't know whether to laugh at the ridiculous notion or take offense at his implications. I settled for frowning at him, perplexed. "I'm not married."

That seemed to surprise him. But why? And more importantly, why would it matter to him? "You have no… _pretendiente_? Suitor?"

I raised an eyebrow in bewilderment at his questioning, wondering where he was going with this. "I don't have a male in my life that doesn't have four legs and fur."

My declaration appeared to have thrown him for a loop for a brief moment as he sorted out my comment. Then, if I wasn't mistaken, I glimpsed a pleased smirk dancing around his mouth before he turned away to rise to his feet and resume leaning against the wall.

I stared after him, unable to figure out why he'd seemed so triumphant about that. Rolling my eyes, I resigned myself to being in the dark of the whimsy of Spaniards.

A sudden yawn caught me off guard and I couldn't stop it, snapping my teeth together at the end. I could feel my ankle still throbbing slightly, but it wasn't anything I couldn't ignore. We remained comfortably quiet for a few moments longer, but there was something I needed to get something off my chest…

"I'm sorry…for everything," I murmured quietly, resting my chin on my knees as I drowsily stared at the door. "I could've been more cooperative for you-"

"A great many things could be changed if we but knew of the consequences beforehand," he broke in, but not in irritation, his expression still calm. "I have some of my own past actions that I would like to change. But we are only human, and can only live with our mistakes."

"I'll drink to that." The wish that he was still stroking my hair popped into existence and I quickly smothered it, not wanting it to gain strength until it wiggled its way out in to the open.

* * *

 **Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Déjame ver -_ Let me see

 **Only one more chapter for this segment! Sorry... :{**


	19. Chapter 19

**Last chunk for this segment! And Salazar gets to have a little fun with poor Isabeau before we're through. *snickers***

 **DatSpanishsmexiness - Disney, Isabeau - Blu-Ko-ffee!**

* * *

I glanced over at Salazar and saw his brow furrowed in thought. He wasn't watching me, instead boring holes in the floor as he pondered something that appeared to be bothering him.

A strange expression flickered over his face before he finally said, "I must say you...surprise me. You don't seem one prone to hysterics, but this would be enough to upset even a strong-willed individual. And not only that, but you appear to have earned the respect of members of my crew. Reíno was quite vehement in your defense."

"From what it sounds like, I'm surprised you didn't knock him ass over teakettle." He didn't strike me as the type to take a scolding lecture lying down, especially from a subordinate.

"That is an…interesting expression." His lips twitched slightly. "I am surprised myself. But he was correct in his observations. I have been remiss in my hospitality and in my manners."

I wrinkled my nose. _Yeah, you've been nicer to Lady BeKatt's vitriol than me, but I suppose I did kinda fuck up your perception of reality a little. To be expected. At least you didn't drown me as a witch, like pretty much anyone else would._

I slumped a little dejectedly, irrationally missing the nice man who'd been kind to me for a short while, who didn't seem to mind touching me. But if I had to pick, I much preferred this calmly polite version over the raging, fuming one. "Why _didn't_ you think that I was a witch? Or at the very least, a raving lunatic? If I remember correctly, that seems to be the given for anything unexpected or unexplainable during this period."

He frowned, and his jaw flickered as he clenched it before answering, "I've always prided myself on not being swept up in superstition and false accusations. Indeed, I have seen things that have defied explanation, but to murder someone for simple happenstance beyond their control?" He shook his head, curling his lip in disgust. " _Imbéciles estúpidos_."

Didn't need a translation for that.

"So my luck isn't totally dismal after all," I muttered, feeling absurdly grateful that it had been the _Silent Mary_ that had rescued me.

" _¿Qué quieres decir?_ " he asked, then quickly elaborated before I could ask, "What do you mean?"

I took a fortifying breath, wishing I hadn't when all I smelled was his spicy cologne, making my head spin. "That it was you who rescued me, instead of any other ship that would have chanced across those pirates. They might not have even cared that there were prisoners aboard, but as luck, fate, coincidence or divine intervention, however you want to call it, would have it, you were the one that fired upon them. You were the one who rescued us."

My fingers twisted together and I looked down, biting my lip before saying quietly, "Thank you. Again. And for not being the type of man to extract payment through…" _How do I put this delicately?_ "…unsavory means."

I flinched when he unexpectedly surged forward in an angry motion, spitting out rapid Spanish that I couldn't even begin guess at.

He paced back and forth in a thunderous flurry of movement, then just as abruptly stilled, rigidly standing in front of me, hands clasped behind his back. After a pause, I looked up at him warily, uneasy by this mood swing.

His lips flattened in a thin line as he stared over my head, his jaw rippling, and suddenly he blew out a heavy sigh, his frame relaxing slightly. " _Disculpas_. My anger is not directed at you. I am…uneasy with the thought that someone else would indeed have called you witch and undoubtedly have tortured you before executing you. And I am thankful that events unfolded so that did not come to pass."

I blinked in astonishment as he turned his brooding gaze back to the wall, cocking my head to the side in bewilderment at this new development. Was that like saying he cared about what happened to me? Shaking my head with a tight yawn, I decided that it would be a long time, if ever, before this complex man would ever begin to make sense to me. I was just glad that it wasn't me that Salazar was angry with. Having such an intimidating man be furious made me panic.

Tiredness swamped my system on an abrupt wave, as if my body had decided that since I wasn't in any danger, it was fine to go ahead and initiate full shut-down. Against my better judgment, I closed my burning eyes for a brief minute, wishing I was in my warm, toasty bed. Hell, I'd even take my lumpy mattress in the cabin. Actually, it wasn't so bad, it just wasn't _mine_.

Apparently my exhaustion hadn't gone unnoticed as Salazar abruptly twisted an about-face and I blinked as I heard his joints pop in response to the movement. I opened my mouth to tease him that he was getting old, then wisely thought the better of it. I didn't want to trigger his vexation during this moment of fragile amity.

Oddly enough, he glanced back at me with an unreadable look as he moved back towards the door and reached up, messed with something I couldn't see, and the door magically clicked open.

My jaw dropped, and I could only stare, stunned, when he turned around, his features morphing to a wry smirk at seeing my face.

"You-you-" I stammered, unable to decide if I was angry that he'd tricked me, gobsmacked at his sheer audacity, or just aggravated by the god-level doucheness of the man.

He tsked at me and reached up to douse the lantern, plunging the room in darkness, but not before I could see his smirk transform into a full-on grin. "Now, now, you were being so cordial. There is no need to ruin it, hm?"

I was so astounded by his deception that it took me a full minute of stuttering before I spit out, "You asshole!"

There was an almost ominous chuckle as his shape moved in the darkness and I yelped in surprise when an arm slipped under my legs and another behind my back. "Hey! No no, I can walk!"

"Not on that ankle, you won't." He disregarded my protests and lifted me against his chest, pulling me neatly against him without any apparent effort.

Holy shit. I knew I wasn't as heavy as I had been, but even I struggled a little with a fifty pound bag of feed. Just how strong _was_ he?

"Uhm, please put me down. This is very uncomfortable," I pleaded meekly, feeling very unsecure at being so high up without my feet underneath me. He _probably_ wouldn't drop me, but all the same, I would have preferred to remove the possibility altogether. My ankle twinged again as I tried to move so he'd set me down.

"I'm not letting go, and I won't drop you. _Estás a salvo en mis brazos._ " Ignoring my unhappy whine, Salazar only adjusted his grasp slightly as he stepped through the door and started walking, keeping a tight hold on me with no evidence of strain.

I quickly slipped my arms around his neck to help distribute my weight and clicked nervously in my throat. Despite his reassurances and whatever he'd said in Spanish, I was not happy to be in this position. Girls fantasized about being swept off their feet all the time, and I might've been guilty of it myself once or twice, but the reality was far more unnerving. I had no control over my situation, had to rely on someone else to not drop me on my ass, and being pressed this close to him like this was extremely disconcerting.

I buried my face in his shoulder, irritated that I always seemed to feel off balance around this man, trying to ignore feeling the arousing play of his muscles under my fingers where I clung tightly, head spinning at the heavy dose of his scent at close range. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished he'd put me down, even though I knew he wouldn't, not until he'd reached his destination.

"If I take you to your room, will you stay off of your ankle?" he asked, his voice vibrating through my chest with a tingling buzz.

I nodded mutely, not trusting myself not to just awkwardly squeak if I opened my mouth.

"Very well." His confident stride didn't break as he pivoted slightly and carried me down the corridor towards my cabin.

I tried to distract myself, but found that I couldn't help but notice things about the complex captain.

He walked like a man comfortable in his own skin, confident, commanding, and if I'd been more honest with myself, it was equally intimidating and sexy as hell. His heavy boots sounded loudly on the wooden deck, a rhythm that seemed almost ominous, like a predator in steady pursuit of prey.

His uniform certainly didn't help, me being a sucker for certain types of Period dress, and the design of his uniform accented his fit form like a glove, even with his lack of a coat. A few fantasies I'd had deeply tucked away shimmered at the edges of my restraint, waiting for just a brief slip of the reins to flood my mind with vivid images...

My exhaustion had been momentarily washed away by this weird situation I'd found myself in, for which I was a little grateful. The desire to just melt into his arms was almost overwhelming, and it surprised me at how strong it was.

I groaned quietly, wanting this to be over before either he dropped me, even though he'd said he wouldn't, or I embarrassed myself, which probably wouldn't take much at this point.

"Is it being carried that makes you uncomfortable? Or the individual carrying you?" Salazar asked conversationally, as if we were just discussing the weather. Impressively, he didn't even sound out of breath.

I had to think on that one, which was a little hard when I couldn't concentrate. "Both. Pretty much both. But more so the being carried part."

"Hmm…" He fell silent for a few steps, then murmured, "This isn't the first time I've carried you."

The hazy memory of when I'd been rescued from the pirate ship flashed through my mind. "I remember, a little. I was barely conscious." I didn't add that I'd found it comforting then, the feel of his strong arms protectively around me… Much like they were now.

"I'm not surprised. It…amazed me, how so small an individual could be covered in so much blood…" he trailed off, lost in his thoughts as he carried me along.

"You were smaller than I thought," he mused quietly, "For someone who was so ferocious as to have ripped out a man's throat with her own teeth, it was a surprise to find that you would not even reach my shoulder…"

"Yeah, I know. I'm vertically challenged," I grumbled, unable to resist a small smile when he huffed in laughter.

"An astute observation." He chuckled again and I felt stupidly happy that I'd made him laugh.

I nuzzled into his shoulder to hide my flushed face and wondered what it was about this man that affected me so. I barely knew anything about him, had only known him for a relatively short period of time and yet…

I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know what made him happy, what made him sad, what his dreams were, what he planned on doing after he'd cleared the seas of piracy. I just wanted to know _him_.

The realization made me jolt, everything stiffening as it swept through my mind. Then I abruptly remembered the position I was in and forced myself to relax before he noticed.

"What were you thinking just now?"

 _Damn it_. Though, to be fair, I _was_ in his arms. It would've been kind of hard for him to miss my sudden tension.

I swallowed uncomfortably, in no way willing to reveal what I'd just figured out. I'd just have to throw myself over the railing after I told him. "Nothing, just…something I realized."

He paused, having come to my cabin door, but didn't open it, or move close enough for me to open it for him. I glanced up at him in bewilderment to see him studying me with that dark, clear gaze. It seemed like he did that often, like I was an incredibly intricate puzzle he was trying to solve, and I suppose I was, to an extent. But I wasn't _that_ fascinating.

"What?" I asked, starting to become uneasy, and unfortunately, starting to blush again under his examination. _Fuck!_ To make matters worse, my mind helpfully supplied mental fantasies of other, more…heated, possibilities while in his arms…

Instead of answering, he continued his silent scrutiny, making me more and more jittery, the flush creeping down my neck, until finally he murmured, "I do believe I would give a great deal to know the thought that causes that blush." His voice sounded deeper than normal and it danced across my skin like flickers of lightning.

I cleared my throat nervously, focusing over his shoulder as the blush only grew worse. "There's no way in hell I am ever going to tell you what I was thinking, so you might as well just let it go and put me down."

His gaze sharpened with wicked intrigue and I mentally groaned. I'd just issued a blatant challenge, all but waved the red flag in his face and told him to ignore it. _Shit!_

Yet surprisingly enough, he stayed silent, not pursuing the line of questioning. Just continued to pin me with those eerily perceptive eyes.

Without so much as a tic of muscle in warning, his arms suddenly loosened and I dropped just far enough that I yelped and clung to his neck before his arms tightened again, refastening securely around me.

His lips twitched as I reared back to glare at him, not amused. "That was mean."

He shrugged in admission, one edge of his mouth curving upwards in a smirk. "You said put you down."

"I didn't mean drop me on my ass!" I snapped, then paused, taking a second glance at his expression, at the small grin dancing at the edge of his mouth and gave him a not-amused look. "You think you're funny, do you?"

A deep chuckle vibrated through his chest in answer, and he twisted around to shoulder the door open. "What if I dropped you on your bed?"

I rolled my eyes, feeling considerably more at ease with him now that I knew he could tease, yet still annoyed that he'd threatened to drop me. I hadn't felt comfortable being carried in the first place, then he'd gone and made it worse. "How about you don't drop me at all and just nicely set me down?"

"Ah, but I'm not nice," he rumbled menacingly, but by the look on his face, he was only half serious. " _El Matador del Mar_ cannot afford to be 'nice'."

That merited a loud snort. _Complete bullshit. You've been nice. Now you're just being a boob._ "Whatever. Just set me down on the bed, if you please, and go be "not nice" to someone else."

"As the lady commands."

 _Don't yank on his hair. Don't yank on his hair. Ignore that grating tone, ignore him baiting you, don't. Yank. On. His. Hair._

But despite the faint mocking, Salazar was careful as he set me down on the edge of the bed. "I want to check your ankle again."

 _Hell. No._ "Want away," I snapped, not willing to go through that pain again, then found myself pushed backwards onto the mattress by a heavy arm. "You-!"

He ignored my protests and knelt, skimming one huge hand down my leg, leaving tingling fire in his wake, even through my pants. Though it was with clinical detachment, I shivered at the feel of that hot, almost burning, strength against my skin, where I'd never felt any man's touch before.

If he noticed the helpless trembling, he didn't show it. He rested my ankle on his thigh as he tested it again, this time without the lancing pain that it'd had the first time, just a dull ache.

"No pain?" he asked when I didn't flinch, just propped myself up on my elbows to glare at him in irritation, both at his highhandedness and my unruly urge to ask him to touch me again.

"Little bit, nothing I can't ignore. I'll stay off it and it should be fine after a bit." I carefully pulled my leg free of his hold while I could still resist the little wicked voice, relief and disappointment clashing together when he let me go without protest.

"Hmm, rest. If it still does not hurt in the morn, you can continue about. But do not push yourself. You don't want to aggravate it further."

I nodded, wishing I had an ice pack to put on it, but I'd be long gone before those were ever created.

Rising to his feet, my open logbook caught his eye and he gestured towards it with one hand. "May I?"

At my mute consent, he curiously flipped through the pages, pausing every now and then to trace over the delicate drawings with one finger. I kept a careful eye on how close to the back of the book he got, braced to snatch it out of his hands if he flipped too close towards the end. That was where I'd hidden my vivid daydreams that refused to be silenced, all of them featuring the overwhelming Spaniard currently dominating my room.

An involuntary shiver skittered along my body at recalling the feel of that broad touch on my leg, the vivid imagery of what those dark hands were capable of, wicked and talented hands against my pale skin-

I shook myself vigorously, shaking off the lurid thoughts like a dog shaking off water, but they clung tight, whispering heated ideas and shoving seductive fantasies into my head.

"You're a talented artist."

His deep voice jolted me out of my depraved thoughts and I dropped back into reality with a thud. I unstuck my tongue to stutter, "T-thanks. And thank you again for the logbook. I probably _would_ have gone insane without it."

With an odd little hum, he flipped the pages back to the one I'd left it open to earlier, and turned to give me one last onceover. _Probably taking in my ruffled appearance and comparing it to the women he was used to socializing with,_ I thought glumly. I knew I'd come up far short. But I refused to be anything but myself, even to try and impress someone. Okay, maybe I'd try a little to impress someone, but I wouldn't go overboard, that was for sure. I just wasn't made that way, and if I did impress them, it wouldn't be _me._

"I shall see you on the morrow, yes?"

I blinked up at him in confusion. _Huh?_ _What for?_ "Uhm, sure?"

"Excellent." One corner of his mouth tilted up in amusement and he suddenly swept into an extraordinarily charming bow, one that made my mouth dry and I tried to swallow as my pulse stuttered strangely. "Rest well, _Señorita_ Isabeau. Pleasant dreams."

He didn't seem to need a response, which was good because all I could do was gape after him in astonishment.

Soon as the door thumped shut behind him, I keeled over backwards, still stunned as I listened to the sound of his boot heels as he strode down the corridor.

My brain spun in rapid circles, trying uselessly to make sense of what had just happened in the past thirty minutes or so. But I could barely start a thought without finding myself chasing after another, half-formed thoughts whirling to a dizzying degree until I could barely tell which way was up.

All the while, my skin _still_ tingled where he'd stroked my leg, the warm touch of his hand still lingering like I'd been burned. And maybe I had. Or maybe I was getting sick, and these were just symptoms of illness.

Except I knew it wasn't that. I'd had enough crushes on fictional characters to realize to an extent I was growing an infatuation with the captain, if I didn't have one already. But then there was the whole tingling-touches thing, something I'd only heard of but never experienced. Never _thought_ that I'd experience it.

I groaned and rolled over to stare pathetically at the wall. No answers there either.

Wrinkling my nose, I rolled again, except I rolled too far and with a yelp, rolled right off the bed. I clambered up back on the bed, rubbing my shoulder where I'd smacked it, before flopping back down on my pillow with another groan. My brain whirled faster and all the while, those dumb little tingles danced in sync with the flutters in my stomach as the memory of being held so protectively in his arms flashed to the forefront in a vivid replay.

 _I'm so screwed._

 _And I forgot Miguel's book. Damn._

* * *

 **Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Disculpas -_ Apologies

 _Estás a salvo en mis brazos_ \- You're safe in my arms

 **End of the segment! Sorry, mah peeps, but you know how it is when free time is more mythical than unicorns. And so, until next time!**

 ***snaps fingers and vanishes in a flash of light***


	20. Chapter 20

**I bring a new chapter, mah peeps! I hope that this weekend (which'll be a long weekend for me, yay!), I'll be able to finish, flesh, and tinker the next chapter(s) quickly. But it's a rather long segment, so I honestly can't say for sure about anything other than that. Sorry. :( But I can say that the ride ain't over by a long shot! Whoo!**

 **Anyway, without further ado, enjoy!**

 **Salazar & Co. - Disney, Isabeau - *waves pompoms***

* * *

The next morning when I woke, I knew something was off. My ankle felt much better, but there was a strange feeling in my stomach, like it couldn't decide whether it wanted to be nauseous or not. That alone wouldn't have bothered me too much, but the slight weakness in my limbs scared me. _Lack of sleep and stress, that's all it is. Don't panic, it's just stress._

Yet the horrible suspicion that I was about to get deathly sick didn't go away. It clung to my thoughts and rationally, I knew it was only going to make it worse, yet I couldn't stop the worry from souring in my stomach, which didn't need the help.

I couldn't tell if I was feverish, but I usually didn't run a temperature when I got sick. Sadly enough, even when I felt like death warmed over, I was usually told that I "looked fine".

Remembering the captain's cryptic remark about seeing him today made me grimace. If I _was_ sick, I certainly didn't want to give it to anyone, least of all him.

Sitting on my bed, I tried to figure out how I wanted to play this. I could try and work through it in the hopes of not inconveniencing anybody, or I could make my apologies to Lesaro and Miguel and go back to sleep to try and sleep through it. That sounded like the better option, especially as my pulse was racing incredibly fast from the ill feeling. But then if it actually wasn't anything, I'd feel guilty for ditching my responsibilities, slim that they were.

In the end, I decided I'd help Lesaro and if I still felt queasy, I'd let Miguel know and see if he wouldn't mind terribly if I slept it off.

Slowly creeping over to Lesaro's office, stomach feeling a bit better with something in it from the tray Reíno always left for me at night, I wondered dimly if I looked like I felt. Complete and utter trash. None of the crew I passed seemed to notice me, for which I was grateful but it did make me curious if they'd even blink if I keeled over in the hallway.

Lesaro's door was already open and I knocked politely on it to announce my presence. The lieutenant didn't seem to be in completely disarray this time, concentrating on several maps, but he looked up at my knock.

The smile he gave made me realize that while he wasn't a match for the captain's downright breathtaking looks, he was actually kind of attractive, a sort of subdued handsomeness that snuck up on a girl.

That realization caught me off guard and I blinked into space for a moment, then snapped back to reality with a sheepish smile when he called my name loudly.

"Are you well, _Señorita_ Revanne?" Lesaro frowned at me as his gaze flickered over my face, my body, checking for signs of whatever was ailing me.

 _No, I'm pretty sure I'm about to be dying._ Out loud, I just said, "Feeling a little under weather. Don't worry about it too much. I can still work."

He squinted at me, one eyebrow raised in mute skepticism. "You would tell me if you felt truly ill, yes?"

I nodded, preferring not to jinx myself if I told him I was fine.

Still with that slightly doubtful look, he gave me reports from several officers on supplies to coalesce into one list. Happy to be spared his scrutiny, I settled into my niche and resolved to ignore that feeling in the back of my throat, the one someone got right before they threw up.

After a few minutes, Lesaro started asking questions, questions that made it clear that the captain had finally told him the truth of where I'd come from, and had relayed the events of last night.

While I was glad he didn't alienate me for being delusional or crazy, I _really_ didn't feel like talking about where I came from, both because it made me start to feel panicky and because talking was making the nausea worsen.

His questions had raised too many worries for me to continue speaking, something he seemed to finally catch on to as my answers grew terser and snappier. I stopped talking for a little while after what felt like I'd spoken enough to fill a book. I was positive my skin had a greenish tinge to it, but either I hid it too well or Lesaro didn't notice because he didn't say anything.

He asked me again if I was feeling okay and I managed to grind out that I was fine, just tired from so much talking. While that wasn't the whole truth, my thoughts were too much of a blur for me to speak in complete, intelligible sentences. I did manage to remark that I hadn't see as much of Reíno as I used to and Lesaro explained that basically since I'd found a way to keep myself occupied, he'd been returned to his most of other duties. The same with Magda.

That made me a little sad. But it did help the feeling of guilt that I was keeping them from their work, though the thought did occur to me that they'd probably been happy for the distraction I'd provided.

The captain was another chunk of debris in the hurricane of my thoughts. The man's tumultuous, unpredictable nature and his status as ship's captain made it difficult for me to get a real feel for his opinion of me, if even he had any. My plan of avoiding him until I'd managed to disembark had apparently been shot to pieces, if his attention last night had been anything to go by. I normally lived my life well below anyone's radar, but apparently I had found myself in his sights and he wasn't blinking. I hadn't yet figured out if that was a good thing or not, but I was wary all the same. I had yet to learn what would set off that black temper of his next.

Unfortunately, my retrospection didn't clear anything up for me, and if anything, I was more confused than ever. It was nerve-wracking, being constantly in a state of whirling anxiety, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it, aside from click my heels together and wish myself home. Underneath it all, the grinding frustrations and fears and doubts and worries about being an unwilling victim of time travel roiled in sickening, oily waves, churning in time with the distressing unpleasantness in my stomach.

The conversation with the captain last night had viciously ripped the band-aid off of my leaking emotional dam, and Lesaro's questions had chiseled the cracks wider.

A panic attack was coming.

I could feel it.

There was a rapid unevenness to my pulse that wasn't just from feeling ill, my limbs were shaking with a frantic energy that was making my hands tremble. My breaths were starting to get shorter and quicker as the cracks gradually grew worse.

And then the dam suddenly splintered and gave way.

I was helping Lesaro take notes when the culmination of my roiling emotions abruptly morphed into a raging frustration as the dam washed away under a torrent of pressure and I snarled in response to my bewildering infuriation, wiping everything off of my makeshift desk with both arms.

The lieutenant jumped to his feet in surprise and I snapped my teeth together a few times, scratching the wood with my fingernails to try and take the edge off some of the boiling energy tightening my muscles. It wasn't working.

"I-I'll be back in a bit. I have to…go," I bit out, feeling guilty for startling the poor man, then ditching him halfway through helping him, but I had to get out of there, had to blow off some steam before I hurt someone.

I bolted out of his quarters and almost immediately ran into one of the sailors. I muttered an apology and hurried down the corridor, ignoring anyone who asked me if I was alright. I got tired of running into people and just snarled at anyone who came too close.

 _No,_ I wasn't alright! I was out of place, out of time, nowhere to go, no familiar faces, _nothing_ about _anything_ was familiar, I was confused, I was frustrated, and I had nowhere to _go_!

So sick and so fucking tired of being trapped on this ship, I sped up my pace, suddenly fed by a hot energy born of unreleased frustration, tension, anxiety, and stress, until I was running as fast as I could.

I didn't care where I went, it wasn't as if I could go far, and just ran, turning corners as I came to them, going in circles for all I knew until I had to slow down to a halt, drooling as I stretched my mouth wide to gasp for air. My lungs burned as if I'd inhaled acid, and my ribs felt like I was wearing a vise, squeezed painfully tight with every breath.

The hold seemed to be the place to be these days as I dropped to my hands and knees on the hard floor, saliva stringing from my teeth as I panted, the exertions from my mad dashing seeming to have muted the tense energy to a controllable level.

My stomach heaved in protest to the unexpected exercise and emotional chaos, the nausea from before thankfully abating, but I still gagged weakly. Luckily, nothing came up. My limbs trembled as I gagged again, then spat out the thick saliva that had pooled in my mouth. A small puddle had formed from the drool dripping from my tongue, but I didn't care at the moment. I'd clean it up later.

I flinched in surprise when a damp handkerchief suddenly wiped across my mouth, cleaning off the drool.

" _Señorita_ Revanne?"

I rattled a growl in response to that deep, familiar voice.

When Salazar went to wipe the cloth over my face again, instead of letting him help, I reeled to the side and snapped my teeth viciously at his hand.

"Leave me alone!"

Still hassling for breath, I lurched to my feet, ignoring the weak shakiness in my legs and rumbled in my chest, pacing from side to side as the walls began closing in again. Fuck, I hated being on this ship! I wanted off! I wanted to go home! Why the _fuck_ was I even _here?!_

I hissed a frustrated shriek through my teeth as I scratched madly at my scalp, pacing faster, not knowing anything of what to do, no idea of how to fix this. No clue how to make it stop.

Suddenly remembering I wasn't alone, I jerked my head up and saw Salazar tensely standing close by, watching me with a faintly disturbed expression, his lean form ready to control and restrain if I showed any more signs of cracking mentally. He opened his mouth, to say who knew what, then paused, closing it as he took in my expression.

I could only imagine what I looked like.

I immediately halted, fingers flexed into claws as I trembled from tension and rampant emotions, not knowing what I could do to make it better, to get my anxious energy under control.

Slowly breathing deep breaths in and out abated the emotional roil somewhat, enough that it wasn't quite so obvious, but I knew I was only slapping another band-aid on the dam. Yet I still didn't know what I could do to help it, aside from the obvious of being transported back through the rabbit hole.

Champing my teeth together, I knew I at least owed Lesaro an apology. And more than likely an explanation. Speaking of which… "Lesaro went and got you, didn't he."

"As he should have," came Salazar's steady answer.

Blowing a noisy breath, I shook myself, trying to hide the trembling in my hands from his observant gaze as he slowly moved closer.

"I'm fine. I'm better now," I assured him, though the rampant thundering of my thoughts and the tension still taut in my limbs said different.

"This insists otherwise," he replied, reaching out to glance his fingers over the racing pulse at my neck.

I twitched away from his touch and vigorously shook myself again. "It's fine-"

"You are quite obviously _not_ fine," he broke in sternly, his tone brooking no argument. "I would like very much to know why you are behaving in such a manner that a less ordered crew would think you possessed."

I coughed a laugh of black humor and started pacing again. "Who knows? Maybe I _am_ possessed. Maybe this is all a dream, or a nightmare. Maybe I'm in a coma, I got in a car wreck-"

"Enough!" Salazar grabbed my arms in a tight grip and forcibly held me still in front of him. "You will explain your behavior. Now!"

"I have nowhere to go!" I yelled, sheer infuriation driving me to smack the edges of my hands against the inside of his elbows, triggering his arms to automatically slacken, but I didn't try to run again. Everything inside me wanted to, I was desperate to bolt, but I knew he'd just chase me down and probably sit on me until I chilled the fuck out.

"I have nowhere to go on this ship. Don't get me wrong, it's a big ship and all, but there's too many people!" I groaned in frustration as he released me and sank down onto my haunches, shoving my hands through my hair. "I have no way of recharging myself, the only place I can hide is my cabin, it's way too friggin' quiet in there and I'm tired of it being nothing but endless water! I miss grass and trees, the sound of animals. I don't even have any books to read and I'm going crazy! I just want to go home!"

I buried my face in my hands. I felt so guilty that he was basically doing everything he could to take care of me, and here I was, complaining that it wasn't enough. But for all of my efforts, this restless tension or whatever it was, wasn't going away. And it was only a matter of pressure before I mentally snapped like so much dry tinder.

"I'm sorry I keep asking so much, sorry that I can't just be grateful with what I have, what you've done for me. Don't misunderstand, I _am_ grateful, and appreciative, and if I could, I wouldn't be saying these things. But I don't know how to make them stop…" I blew out a shaky breath, the verbalization of my problems having quieted the earsplitting shrieking of my turbulent thoughts down to a deafening roar.

After a long pause, boot steps moved away from me and I figured he'd had enough of my complaining. Couldn't say that I blamed him.

Then I heard rustling and the shuffling of wood planks, more movement, then heard him striding back towards me.

I finally managed to look up at him, afraid of what I would see on the captain's face. But I didn't see any judging, no irritation, only a quiet, if faint, understanding.

I opened my mouth to ask him what he'd been doing when he suddenly crouched down and popped something between my lips. I recoiled in surprise, even as the sweet, fiery taste of cinnamon flooded my mouth.

" _Ven conmigo_." He rose and gestured for me to follow him before turning to leave the hold.

Hell, if he had cinnamon candy, I could be bribed to follow him into hell.

Feeling a little bit better while sucking on the stick, I tiredly trotted after him. It seemed like I was either running away or after him all the time. I wondered if he was as weary of this nightmare as I was.

Surprisingly, Salazar led me back towards his quarters, and I was about to ask him what he was planning when he motioned for me to enter. I slipped past him through the open door, once again finding myself admiring his taste in décor. I heard the door close behind me and turned to watch him curiously as he strode past me to peer at the titles in his bookshelf. "I do not have many written in English, but…"

He rumbled in annoyance and crouched down at one of the cabinets, opening it and pulling out a thin leatherback with beautiful, intricate inlay. Straightening with a grunt, he held it out towards me. "I have a few you may borrow."

Tentatively, I took it, reading the title as _Don Quixote_ , something I'd been meaning to get around to reading one day, but just never had. Along with finishing _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ series.

"You are also welcome to use my room whenever you feel overwhelmed, but please try not to disturb me if I am busy."

I nodded slowly in understanding, hardly able to believe his generous offer. "Just slip in, curl up in a chair and read?"

His lips quirked slightly and he tilted his head in affirmative. " _Por favor_."

I hugged the book to my chest, grateful beyond what he could comprehend. "You won't even know I'm here." I skirted around the greatly less-imposing captain and slipped into the armchair next to the bookshelf, so I could see out the dark window to the moonlit waves.

He muttered something in Spanish that sounded like " _ya es tarde_ ", whatever that meant. Didn't particularly sound flattering, though.

But I didn't let it bother me. If he was really disturbed by me being in his quarters, he wouldn't have offered. _That_ much I'd at least been able to figure out about the unpredictable captain. But I wouldn't intrude on his privacy more than absolutely necessary. From experience, I knew that sometimes just having the option alleviated the crushing anxiety.

To my surprise, he didn't leave, instead sitting behind his desk to start scratching out notes on different pieces of paper while I read.

Slowly, bit by bit, that unbearable tension eased and I found myself relaxing into an almost content state, a comfortableness permeating the room until I felt like I could just curl up in my chair and fall asleep. I was already worn out from my attack, and it wouldn't take any effort to just close my eyes and drift off. But the pressure had eased enough that I felt I could leave Salazar's quarters. I didn't want to, I found that I was actually enjoying the quiet stillness, the soothing sounds of him working, but I wanted to go apologize to Lesaro and Miguel for abandoning them. And despite Salazar's offer, I felt uncomfortable with intruding too long in his private sanctum.

Tentatively approaching the gorgeously carved desk after I stretched from uncurling out of the chair, I waited until he reached a stopping point and looked up at me.

"Thank you…very much," I told him, smiling softly, glad he'd been understanding of my emotional rollercoaster, thankful that he'd given me a retreat. Grateful he had been willing to share his own private domain at the cost of my intrusion.

He leaned back in his chair and studied me for a few minutes, but oddly enough, I didn't feel uncomfortable for once. He suddenly smiled back and the sight made my knees turn watery, making me swallow dryly in response to the strange rubbery feeling in my stomach. _Ho, dayum, that was a kick in the gut..._

"You are quite welcome. You appear to feel better."

I nodded in affirmation. "Much. Tired now, but feeling much better."

His expression was odd as his eyes flickered over me again. I couldn't decipher what he was thinking, if this was just further evidence of my madness and he was contemplating reneging on his promise and just tossing me in a cell anyway.

After a moment, he asked hesitantly, "These…spells. Do they happen often?"

I chewed my lip for a moment, caught off guard by the question, before answering truthfully, "No, not really. It's just when things get very overwhelming and I have no outlet for the…panic, I guess would be the best word. Honestly, I think that's the worse one I've ever had."

Suddenly, I grinned wearily at him. "Still think I'm handling this well?"

He raised an eyebrow in response while he pondered a quick moment, then evenly responded, "Yes. I do. And I actually find it a relief to discover that you are susceptible to emotional outbursts."

I cocked my head to the side. "Why?"

He interlaced his fingers and rested them against his mouth, examining me with a keen gaze before softly replying, "It makes you human."

I blinked in surprise. Not an answer I would have expected. But now that I thought about it, it was probably a scary thing, having someone being from the future. Someone who knew what was going to happen, knew the way the world was evolve. They might even know how you died.

The more I thought about it, the more I was a little afraid of myself. I could only imagine what it was like for Salazar.

"I tend to keep it bottled up better than that," I said with a little shrug, still struggling with my revelation. "Sometimes it's just too much. But that shouldn't happen again."

"I should hope not. That was not particularly something I would care to witness again."

Cringing, I felt ashamed that I had caused others trouble from my own problems. I tried very hard to keep the effects of my outbursts limited only to myself, but this time I hadn't been able to. No doubt Salazar was now going to be wondering when I was going to snap next and attack someone.

My drooping posture must have given away my feelings of guilt, as Salazar's voice suddenly broke into my thoughts.

"If you wish to make compensations for your behavior, I have more questions I'd like to ask. Come to my quarters tomorrow instead of reporting to Lesaro." He glanced away to jot something on one of his reports while he waited for my response.

I wasn't sure what to make of his proposition. On one hand, I was glad to see he didn't seem too upset by my panic attack, but on the other, I wasn't sure what answering his questions was going to entail. I'd already had a hard enough time answering Reíno's, and I doubted that Salazar's imagination could stretch as far.

But I'd give it a try. I figured whatever damage I'd caused had already been done.

And if I didn't have to help Miguel afterwards, then I could maybe go to bed early and hopefully sleep off whatever was making my stomach lurch into my throat at any given time. "Fair enough. How long do you plan on keeping me?"

Salazar abruptly raised his head, his attention focusing sharply on me with a slight glint in his eyes.

Mentally stumbling, I thought back over my words and winced when I realized what I'd said and how it could be construed. Rolling my eyes, I quickly corrected my phrasing. "How long do you plan for me to stay? I'm trying to figure out if I need to let Miguel know I'll be too busy to help him or not."

"Tell him you will be unavailable to assist him tomorrow night. You may use your free time how you see fit when I am done with my inquiries. Now I must bid you good night, _señorita_. I have reports to finish." And with that dismissal, he turned his full attention back to the sheaf of papers.

A little stung by the abrupt change in tone, I frowned at him for a second, then was quickly distracted by the queasiness lurching up my throat.

Frantically swallowing my stomach back down, I stumbled towards the door and slipped out, hoping I wasn't going vomit right here on the spot. Luckily, everything managed to stay down and I rubbed my face in relief, only to frown when my face felt hot to the touch. _Feels like I have a temperature…Great. Just great. Apologies, then bed!_

Through sheer force of will alone, I managed to stagger both to Lesaro's office and the galley, making my apologies and excuses to both men. Lesaro seemed unconvinced by my reassurances and I had to struggle to hide the sheen of sweat on my skin as I concentrated on not collapsing outside his office.

My knees felt like they were going to give out at any moment. My joints and muscles felt both achy and weak, like my body had atrophied in minutes. But I was damned if I was going to bother anybody with something like this. I couldn't stand being fussed over.

Miguel seemed to notice something was off too, even though I'd just managed to remember his book, and I almost wasn't able to convince him enough to escape. I didn't want mothering, I wanted _sleep_. I just wanted to burrow into my bed and never wake up.

Right as I left the galley, I could feel the unpleasant roiling in my stomach return with a vengeance and a strange shakiness infected my limbs, accompanying the weakness. _Oh, god, this is a bad one… Just_ fucking _great. Fucking icing on the cake!_

Whining pathetically, I barely made it to my cabin before I collapsed on the floor in a fit of violent trembling. I was cold, so, so cold. I felt like I would never be warm again, as if the heat had been leached from my very bones. I'd been sick a few times in my life where I felt like I was dying, but this one was top of the list.

Then the coughing started, a nasty wracking noise that rattled my ribcage and vibrated in my chest. Between the shivering, the coughing, and the general feeling that I was going to die, I knew I was sick. Very, very sick. And in a time when there wasn't such a thing as miracle drugs, that wasn't good.

The violent roiling in my stomach suddenly reached a pitch and I rapidly summoned every last dreg of strength to quickly lean up and over the chamber pot, emptying out the lovely contents of my stomach. Luckily it didn't go up my nose this time and I managed to spit out most of the acid.

My legs trembled like a newborn colt's as I shakily stood to rinse out my mouth, the acid burning the back of my throat and my tongue. I somehow managed to unwrap the binding, but that was all I could do.

I tried to stumble to my bed, but only made it a step before I collapsed on the floor again.

Groaning and wheezing for breath between the coughing and the chattering teeth, I weakly pulled the blanket and the pillow off the bed, not even bothering to strip into my pajamas. It took everything I had just to crawl under the bed, never mind change clothes. Hopefully I'd feel better when I woke up, because this was terrifying me.

Constant rattling coughs kept me awake for a long time before I finally just fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of nettacartwright)**

 _Ya es tarde -_ It's (too) late

 **Hope everyone enjoyed it! Got lots of interesting things getting ready to happen in the future... *evil grin***


	21. Chapter 21

**I am so sorry for not updating sooner, it's been really rough for a while and it's kind of just all coming apart at the seams more so than usual. I'm having to constantly choose between recharging my mental, emotional, and physical health everyday when I get off of work, and with the upcoming holidays and everyone scrambling for cover, it hasn't been pretty. So my writing has sadly slowed a bit while I try to keep from burning out. (Hah, _there's_ a joke.)**

 **Anyhow, enough of my whining! Thank you, you lovely, gorgeous, absolutely _wonderful_ people for your reviews! Your kind words do wonders for my soul, and I can't tell you enough of how much I appreciate you taking the time to read this crazy wild ride. *sends warm hugs to everyone* In all of my grandest imaginings, I never dreamed that so many people would read this, enjoy this, and it absolutely amazes me. So thank you, again. Thank you so, so much.**

 ** **And, because we must (ugh), Salazar & Co./Disney, Isabeau/the crazy commentator of this wild adventure****

* * *

 _"_ _What on…_ _ **Isabeau! Isabeau, wake up**_ _!"_

 _"_ _She's not waking up- what's wrong with her?"_

 _"_ _Get her out from under the bed!"_

 _"_ Capitán _, what-"_

 _"_ _Reíno, fetch the doctor, rest of you, out! Now!"_

The jarring motion of forced movement trickled through the dreamy fog that clouded my brain. There was something wrong, something that I should have been terribly worried about, but I just couldn't summon the concern.

 _"…_ _madwoman or not, I'm not letting you die. You're not getting away from me that easily."_

I felt a tight band encircling around me, a wall of heat pressed up against me on one side and I tried to shift away from it. It was too hot, and I didn't like it, but movement was impossible. I couldn't tell if it was because of whatever it was prevented me from moving or if my limbs were refusing to respond, but I felt like I was melting. Why was I so hot? Even without that wall of heat, I felt…inflamed.

Blessed coolness slid along my skin, briefly stemming the heat, but it was quickly melted away, the blaze resurging with a vengeance. The cool relief stroked over my burning hide again, and again, always replaced with a lick of flame behind it.

Soothing words formed with a deep, exotic lilt whispered through my feverish haze, calming the raging inferno slightly, giving me something to focus on besides the boiling heat. I tried to follow the voice, but it always danced just out of reach, keeping just beyond my fingertips. The language said held no meaning to me, no comprehension. The words spoke I didn't understand, yet it promised comfort and relief, if I could have just grasped for it. But I was too weak, too weary. I simply couldn't reach.

Yet my lack of response didn't seem to matter. Warmth encircled me yet again, but this time it wasn't maddening. It didn't feed the flames. Instead, all I felt was safe, protected, and the spicy scent that accompanied it lulled my dreams to a drifting haze.

No matter how far I slipped into the burning eating away at my mind, that voice always called me back, kept me from straying too far. I couldn't recognize it, couldn't remember anything beyond the slowly dying flames, but I knew it was familiar, knew I'd heard it before.

Knew it led to the way out.

Stumbling through flickering embers, I followed the deep murmuring, the soothing tone, until I sank into cool, blissful darkness.

 **xxxxxxx**

The damp, icy cloth annoyed me enough that I couldn't ignore it any longer and reluctantly emerged to full consciousness, blinking my eyes open. I was slightly alarmed to only see a dim blur, but as I kept blinking, things gradually took shape. I felt weak and shivery, and my ribs felt like I had cracked them every time I took a breath. Unfortunately I took one breath too many and triggered a coughing fit, the sound of rattling breath not as bad as before I had collapsed.

A warm hand covered the top of my back across my shoulders, pulling me upwards as I tried to cough up a lobe of a lung. Water in a cup was pressed into my hand, held steady until I could get a weak grip without dropping it.

"Slowly, you must not push yourself." Lesaro's voice soothed as he kept a hold on the cup so I could drink without spilling, soothing my aggravated throat. I noticed belatedly that the rocking of the ship seemed much stronger than usual, but I put it from my mind.

My body gave a violent involuntary shudder before I could finish drinking and I ended up knocking it out of his hand. I clutched the blanket around my shoulders as I morosely watched him retrieve the cup. "…sorry," I rasped.

"It is alright," he assured me, straightening to worriedly check over me, concern stamped hard across his features. "It was not apparent if you were going to wake up again."

I grunted and curled back up on the bed, too weak to sit up any more. "How long was I out?"

"Too long, almost four days. For a healthy individual, it would not be as much cause for worry, but with your recent bout of ill health, we were very concerned." The covers were tucked back around me and I looked up to see one corner of his mouth lift in a relieved smile. It struck me once again just how attractive it made him look, and for some stupid reason it brought to mind a great, big, cuddly teddy bear. I just wanted to give him a huge squeeze…

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, warily leaning back as if I was about to attack or something, as if I could do anything more than drool on someone in the state I was in.

I faintly shook my head. "Train of thought derailing. What did I miss?"

My remark triggered a look of befuddlement before he visibly set it aside to answer my question. "We have been pushed into a storm and have not been able to outpace it. It has also taken us very off course, but we won't know how badly until it clears. Why did you not tell me you were ill?"

My breath still rasped through my throat, my lungs feel two sizes too small, but I was pretty sure I would live. Memory tickled my mind as I scrambled to piece together my hazy recollection. "There was a voice…I remember…someone yelling…."

"The _capitán_ was livid when he found out about your state of health. It has been awhile since I have seen him that angry. _Señorita, w_ hy didn't you tell someone you were ill?"

Confusion was first and foremost when I looked at him, frowning in puzzlement, but then blinked at his visible distress. _Lesaro had been worried about me too?_ "I didn't know I was that sick, and by the time I did, I couldn't even crawl. But why would the captain be angry that I was sick? I'd have thought he'd prefer me to be out of his way."

Lesaro gave me a disapproving glance. "He would not wish you to be of such ill health in order to gain your cooperation, _Señorita_ Isabeau. He is simply trying to keep you safe. And I believe that he cares more for you than either one of you realize."

A shout from outside the door drew both our attentions, interrupting my train of thought over that puzzling comment, and Lesaro hurriedly dashed towards the door. He wrenched it open to see one of the crew rapidly gesturing just as the ship gave a huge lurch and dropped downwards like a rollercoaster. It took everything in me not to vomit at the sensation and I barely noticed when Lesaro disappeared through the doorway, too busy squeezing my eyes shut and concentrating on keeping my stomach out of my mouth.

 _White water rapids on a galleon. Oh, God, kill me now._ I wanted to die, I absolutely _hated_ rollercoasters, and the ship was careening up and down like one wild ride. I was gonna be sick, and not just the still shaky feel of having a relapse, I was talking about dryheaving until something important burst, like my diaphragm or an artery.

The door banged open and I peered at the intruder through one eye, normally happy to see Reíno, but I was more concerned with remaining in bed when everything suddenly tilted backwards like a violent uphill turn.

"Seasick?" Reíno asked, leaning over to make sure I didn't slide out of the bed as the _Mary_ righted herself.

Not trusting my gag reflex if I opened my mouth, I settled for nodding once, closing my eyes in horror as we careened the other way over what felt like a tsunami-sized wave. I grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it, wishing I had never been born as my stomach dropped down its normal position with a sickening splat.

"I'm sorry, a squall overtook us earlier and hasn't blown out. _Señorita_ Blue, I'm afraid I have some grave news-"

My hoarse groan was thankfully muffled by the pillow. I couldn't take any more bad news. I was already wanting to die, how could he possibly make it worse?

" _Capitán_ fell ill last night, he will be fine," he added hurriedly as even through my misery I jerked my head up with more than a twinge of concern for Salazar. "But he has a high fever and…I know you are still recovering, but we have no one to spare and he needs to be watched."

I gagged as we took another roiling lurch, shuddering at the greasy feel of my stomach sliding around. "Oh, goodie. The sick taking care of the sick."

"I would not ask this of you if I but had a choice, Isabeau," Reíno said sympathetically, "but with this storm, we're needing all hands at their stations, and when they're not, getting sleep."

The floor rolled again while I whimpered pitifully. I just wanted to go home! But here was a chance for me to help pay back some of kindness and hospitality shown by these men. Even the captain, for all his surliness, had been being nicer to me as of late. It wasn't fair to him if I acted selfishly now.

"Yeah, I'll do it," I sighed tiredly. "Dunno how much help I'll be, but I'll try."

A few minutes later, I found myself blearily weaving out of my cabin, barefoot on the cold, damp floor where rain and seawater had been washed into the corridor. More splashed through the doorway, sprinkling on exposed skin where I'd rolled up my sleeves and pant legs of the clothes I'd woken in, but instead of wanting to avoid the cold spray, it felt good against my sticky skin after having been burning up for so long.

Reíno made sure I was steady on my feet, then reluctantly had to leave me and help the other sailors.

Slowly, carefully, I tilted and careened down the hallways until I came to an unsteady stop outside the now familiar gilt-inlaid door. But unlike all of my previous visits, the door was wide open, and I could hear irritable, rapid-fire Spanish coming from further inside.

Recognizing the voice as Lesaro's, I unsteadily made my way through the main room and jolted to a halt just outside Salazar's sleeping quarters.

Even as gracious as the captain had become as late, I was wary about stepping into such a private domain.

" _Señorita_ Isabeau!"

Lesaro looked at me in shock, even as I was equally surprised to see him struggling to lift Salazar's heavy form off of the floor next to his bed.

"Holy cow! What happened?" I exclaimed, cautiously weaving my way over to Lesaro's side, catching myself against one of the thick posts of the massive bedframe as the _Mary_ rolled underneath us.

"He's thrashing from the fever and fell out of the bed." Lesaro wedged his hands under Salazar's shoulders, both men's clothes spotted with sweat, Salazar's practically dripping, and heaved upwards, trying to get a good grip on the unconscious Spaniard. "He was feeling unwell this morning, but I believe he has been feeling ill longer than that."

 _Oh god…did I made him sick…oh please no…_

Swallowing my anxiety-ridden guilt, I quickly discovered that the captain was fairly heavy, even without the unhelpful spasms of delirious movement, when I grabbed his forearms and weakly pulled him up into a faint sitting position so Lesaro could get a better grip.

"Thank you," Lesaro panted as he wrested Salazar's upper torso back onto the bed. "I can't get him to keep anything down, not even water. He struggles too much when you try to get him to drink."

Almost falling over from both my own weakness and the pitching of the room, I hopped up onto the massive bed and crawled over so I could help Lesaro by pulling Salazar while the lieutenant shoved.

I paused for a moment, panting, then slid off the bed to weave over to the water pitcher and dunked a clean cloth in it, soaking the material. Careful not to let all the water get wrung out, I crawled back on the bed as Lesaro managed to get Salazar's legs off the floor without getting kicked.

"Let's try this." I ducked a swinging arm and quickly threw a leg over it, pinning the muscular limb between my thighs while Lesaro grabbed the other one, pressing it on the bed to prevent either one of us from being punched in the face.

Quickly laying the dripping cloth over Salazar's lips, I rubbed his throat, trying to get him to swallow. To my intense relief, his throat moved under my palm as he sucked the water out of the cloth.

Lesaro muttered something that sounded like a relieved prayer as I twisted the cloth dry, Salazar taking all the water I could give him. I dropped my forehead against his shoulder with a sigh of relief, feeling tense muscles relax slightly in the arm still trapped underneath me.

" _¡Excelente!_ Give him more, I'll hold him."

Nodding, I warily rose from my position of pinning him down, watching carefully to see if he was still going to struggle. Salazar remained restless, but nowhere near the level he'd been before.

I quickly soaked the cloth again and repeated my ministrations, blowing out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding when he sucked it dry once more.

"I think he should be a little less violent now. Let's see." Cautiously, we simultaneously backed off, carefully watching for any additional flailing.

Salazar stayed still, only twisting and twitching slightly, lips moving silently in fever thrall.

Worriedly, I took in the lean form, already bereft of his coat and sweat had soaked through his white shirt under the unbuttoned vest. "He was only like this for, what, a few hours?"

" _Sí._ He left the helm for a short while to rest, but was gone long enough that I went to check on him. And found him unconscious on the floor."

Salazar's hair was unbound, a sight I'd never seen before and I had to struggle not to find myself staring in fascination at this new development, concentrating on the sick man before me as Lesaro worked to divest him of his boots.

Yet it was difficult when I saw through the wide open vest and his damp shirt that his chest was practically devoid of hair, firmly developed with lean muscle, and coated with a sheen of sweat-

Lesaro grunted as he successfully yanked off both the captain's boots, jerking me out of my ogling and I swallowed thickly as I tore my eyes away.

 _For an old man, he's friggin'_ hot _as hell, even without the uniform and sick as a dog. How can he be so damn tasty?!_

Twitching my head, I tried to shake the thoughts loose, but they stubbornly clung like burrs. "Not too sure how much help I'll be. Right now, I'd probably lose a fight with a kitten."

Lesaro gave a weary chuckle at that. "You have already helped, but whatever assistance you can give is greatly appreciated. And perhaps a feminine touch will help him to remain calm."

I rolled my eyes at his slight smirk, even as we worked to pull off Salazar's vest to try and cool him down. "Yeah, I don't think it's gonna make any difference either way."

A hand clamped around my forearm and I jumped, quickly glancing down to see Salazar had rolled towards me and was holding my arm against his chest, clinging tight like I was a lifeline.

I looked up and made a face as Lesaro quirked a brow with a "you were saying?" smirk, then quickly worked to remove the captain's shirt as well.

I watched with rabid interest as more lean, tanned torso was unveiled, somewhat surprised by just how fit the captain was. Staying quiet as Lesaro had apparently forgotten that I was there or something, I ogled until I just couldn't resist making an offhand remark. "Do you usually strip your unconscious captain naked in front of their uninvited guests?"

Lesaro froze, and glanced up at me with horrified shock, as if just realizing what he was doing.

I snickered at him, moving to help him pull Salazar's shirt out from underneath his heavy body, not so easy when the man refused to let go of my arm.

" _¡Señorita!_ It is not proper-" The lieutenant sputtered to a halt as I quickly interrupted him.

"Look, we need to get him as cool as possible. Short of dunking his big self in an ice bath, removing as much of his clothing as we can is the next best thing. So unless you _don't_ want him to get well…" I let the sentence trail off unfinished, waiting only slightly impatiently for Lesaro to nervously glance back and forth between me and Salazar's all but naked form. Truth be told, it was taking all of _my_ willpower not to glance at him myself.

"Lesaro, I'm not going to scream and faint at the sight of his unclothed body. I ripped a man's throat out with my _teeth_ , for heaven's sake. A little bit of skin isn't going to scar me for life."

"But-"

"No buts! Just get him as comfortable as you can. Right now, he's the one we need to be concerned about, not us." Yet even as I said that, I could see the lieutenant's jaw clench with ingrained propriety.

Gritting my teeth, I'd had enough of the man's stubbornness. "Lesaro…by your standards of etiquette, this whole scene is improper. Are you really going to stand on that when your captain's health is at stake? You can't tend to him, you have a ship to run with him being out of commission. I can look after him, but I need your help to get him comfortable first. And I can't move him by myself. Besides, it's not like I have a reputation to worry about. It'll be fine. I promise."

Ignoring his dubious look at that last comment, I could see him sag with defeat when Salazar suddenly groaned painfully and released my arm, only to curl into a ball and start shivering.

Lesaro nodded grudgingly, still uncomfortable, but visibly set aside his scruples as he resumed stripping the captain down.

"I'll be right back while you do that. I need to get something to eat before I throw up."

He gently caught my arm and steadied me as I wobbly slid off the massive bed. " _Señorita_ Isabeau, while I truly do appreciate your help, you don't have to do this if you do not want to."

I smiled reassuringly at his worried look. "I know, but the guilt would probably do me in if I didn't. And after everything he's done for me, it's the least I can do. I honestly don't mind, I just wish it wasn't on the heels of my own bout of being sick."

His expression eased a bit, and it made me feel better knowing I'd soothed his consciousness, at least a little. "I'll see if I can't arrange for a bath for you later. I imagine you must feel quite uncomfortable after having been ill for ill for so long."

My lip curled in disgust. "Uncomfortable would be putting it mildly, but if you can't manage it, I'll understand."

Leaving Lesaro to deal with the feverish captain for the moment, I paused outside the quarters and clasped an arm around my ribs, caught off guard by the burst of anxious dread I'd felt at seeing Salazar so sick…

 _What is this? Why do I feel like this?_

Yes, I was nervous that I was going to be so close to the man for an extended period of time, at least a few days if my own fit of being bedridden was anything to go by. But this felt different than simple nervousness, dread. No, it felt more like…concern.

I blinked, surprised when that word firmly settled in my mind, correctly naming the emotion causing the tightness in my chest. I was concerned for the captain, and worried. Feeling like this scared me, and seeing him sick like that scared me further. Why did I feel this way about someone who was threatening to toss me into a cell one second, then seemed to practically forget my existence the next?

It wasn't like with Reíno or Magda, who'd been nothing but kind to me since I'd been swept up in this craziness, or even Lesaro, who seemed to enjoy my company, but the captain was…unpredictable. Nerve-wracking. Yet the tension in my chest refused to ease, refused to be vanquished by logic.

Would this confusing whirlwind never end?

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 **Poor Isabeau just can't catch a break, can she? Don't worry, she'll be spending the next few days resting and recovering in bed...with one toasty Spanish bedwarmer. *winks***


	22. Chapter 22

**Second/last part of this segment. I'm sorry! I really wish it didn't take me so long in between updates, but I'm doing the best I can. I have very limited free time and I'm writing as fast as possible. But without further ado, enjoy! Apologies for the slightly shorter chapter and for any inconsistencies that might pop up. I'm terrible with keeping the length of events straight. (And poor Salazar...he won't be sick long, promise! It'll just _seem_ like a while.)**

 **Still sexy-as-hell Spaniard & crew/Disney, Isabeau/Thecrazyladythatstartedthismadcapstory**

 ***edit* Just tinkering with a few details I missed!**

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" _Señorita_ Blue!"

Snapped out of my reflections, I glanced up to see Magda hurrying towards me, relief apparent on his features. I smiled tiredly at the man, happy to see him. "Sorry, I'm still alive. Not getting rid of me that easily."

He chuckled and stopped in front of me, eyes flickering anxiously over my face. "How do you feel?"

I grimaced. "Like death warmed over. Worse. But I'll live."

"Oh! Reíno told me that you were awake. I was just looking for you. Here." He held out a small bowl, filled with what smelled like broth of some sort.

I wrinkled my nose, unpleasantly reminded of the nasty taste of rat soup. "Suddenly I'm not so hungry."

"Why-ah, your captivity aboard the pirate ship?" he guessed, then when I reluctantly nodded, took a small sip to prove it was edible. "Miguel would not poison you, and the _capitán_ would have him horsewhipped if he dared to serve such fare. See? 'tis safe to eat. You will feel better, I promise."

Grudgingly taking the bowl, I wrinkled my nose at it, leaning hard against the wall as the _Silent Mary_ suddenly took a nosedive. I'd almost gotten used to the pitching and tilting of the deck, usually pretty good with my balance anyway, but the unexpectedly violent waves still caught me off guard.

Still curling my lip, I sipped slightly, grateful when deliciousness exploded on my tongue. It tasted wonderful, yet wasn't too heavy on my stomach. Miguel, once again, had outdone himself. Tilting the bowl to get the last dregs, only being about two-thirds filled, my belly felt more than full after I finished it.

As Magda had promised, I did feel better. Still weak and shaky, but I didn't feel like a puff of wind would knock me over. It'd still be a while before I was back to normal again, though.

"Thank you." I smiled gratefully at him, appreciating that he'd been kind enough to bring me food. "How bad is it out there?"

He scowled as the _Mary_ pitched again, as if in answer to my question. "We have weathered much worse. It's not much to concern yourself with, but we'll be shorthanded until we outpace it. Even as mild as this is, there's still much that can go wrong if one isn't careful."

I nodded, understanding.

"Will you be returning to your quarters?" he asked, reaching out to take the bowl with one hand and steady me with the other as I swayed with the ship.

"Actually, I'm going to be looking after the captain. Reíno asked for my help and Lesaro accepted my offer, so I'll be taking care of him until he wakes." I felt my face heating at the unbidden thought of the man's lean, muscular chest and distantly recalled he didn't have tan lines…which of course made me wonder if he was tanned all over.

Abruptly shaking myself viciously, I immediately wished I hadn't as my head spun sickeningly with the harsh movement and I dizzily sidestepped before I regained my balance.

"Are you feeling alright?" Magda grabbed my shoulder and stared at me with a worried frown.

"I'm fine, just…weird thoughts." I blinked and shook my head again, only slightly this time.

"Thoughts…involving the _capitán_?" Magda asked, smiling smugly when I shot him a dark look.

"Don't be dumb, Magda. And don't you have things to be doing? Like make sure we don't capsize?" I snapped, irritated at the embarrassing flush warming my cheeks.

His expression smoothed, yet I could still the little hint of smugness at my reaction flickering in his eyes. "No need to worry on that front. The _Silent Mary_ isn't going to be brought down by a little breeze like this. But I digress. I do have duties to return to. The _capitán_ is lucky to be in your tender mercies, _señorita_."

I growled and the brat dipped into a flourished bow with a teasing grin in response, laughing when I bared my teeth at his amusement.

"Go on, scat." I waved my hands at him, ushering him along.

His teasing grin changed into a kind smile as he reached out to softly stroke my cheek with the back of his hand. "I am glad you woke again. We were very worried about you."

Unable to help smiling back, I found myself grinning cheekily at him in return. "Dunno why. As I said, you can't get rid of me that easily."

The _Mary_ suddenly yawed so violently that I ended up stumbling forward into Magda's chest, plastered against him as he braced backwards against the wall until the world right itself.

Somehow managing to swallow my queasiness, I leaned back against the arm he had clasped tight around my waist, giving him a worried look. "Take care out there, please. And if you see Reíno, he might not appreciate it, but would you tell him the same?"

He gave me a small, reassuring squeeze before letting go, putting space between us. "Do not worry, _Señorita_ Isabeau. This is not the worst storm we have been through."

"That's no excuse," I retorted, then wrinkled my nose affectionately at him. "I need to get back to Lesaro. Promise me you'll be careful?"

"I will. I promise. Go," he ordered, trying to be stern but his cheeks had a ruddy tinge, as if I'd embarrassed him. He turned me around and gently shoved me at the cabin I'd come from. "Tend to the _capitán._ And you must be careful as well. He could greatly harm you in his state. "

I shot him a saucy grin as I carefully walked backwards towards the cabin door. "What's the worst he can do? Accidentally smack me upside the head? I'll be fine. You worry about yourself."

Twisting around, I slipped back into the captain's quarters, making my way back to the captain's bedchambers. Lesaro was straightening up Salazar's discarded uniform and I made my way to the bedside, staring down with grim worry as Salazar panted with fever.

"The doctor checked on him earlier. With rest and water, he will be up and terrorizing you again in no time," Lesaro remarked wryly from where he was folding a familiar coat and carefully hanging it up in the wardrobe.

I snorted. "Terrorize is right. I don't know why he hates me so much…I certainly don't try to make him angry."

Sadness wilted my spine as I slumped miserably, not understanding why I was so often subjected to the captain's ire. Everything about my situation was beyond my control, and I was trying my absolute best to be as accommodating as I could.

"It is not you yourself that aggravates him. If it were, I assure you, he would not have tended to you so carefully during your own spell of fever."

That was news to me. Earlier he'd just said that the captain had been angry when he'd found out I was sick. He hadn't said anything about the man taking care of me during my illness. "He…took care of me?"

Lesaro paused and squarely met my gaze. I resisted the usual urge to glance away as he said evenly, "He barely left your side the entire four days."

That little bombshell absolutely floored me. I gaped at him, stunned.

Taking pity on me, he flashed a small smile and broke eye contact, resuming putting Salazar's belongings to rights. "I'm not entirely sure what his opinion of you is, but I promise that he does not hate you in the slightest."

He said that, yet I found myself having a hard time believing him. Still…

"Well, at least my plan to seduce my way into the captain's bed is finally paying off," I quipped, soaking a new cloth to squeeze more water down Salazar's throat.

I heard a loud snort from behind me as I moved back to the bed. "If your propensity to run away from the _capitán_ is anything to go by, I do not believe I have anything to worry about on that front."

"I see _you've_ certainly come a long way from telling me I can't wander about by myself," I teased back, grinning in Lesaro's direction as I twisted the cloth against Salazar's mouth, stroking the surprisingly delectable looking tendons on the sides of his neck. They were just asking to be nibbled…

Quickly jerking away from that thought, I whirled around in time to see the one-eyed Spaniard shoot me a half-hearted glare, to which I snickered at, and shake his head. "To be honest, my own opinion of you has drastically changed since our first meeting. Even with all your oddities, it has been…enjoyable, having you aboard. I cannot recall having ever known a woman aboard a ship to be so pleasant."

Blinking in surprise at the lieutenant's admission, I was too slow to duck my head for him to miss my burning cheeks, still trying to ignore the persistent thoughts of nibbling... _Oh, if only you knew, Lesaro._

I heard him chuckle quietly. "Ah, I have embarrassed you. My apologies. I must return to the helm. I shall leave the _capitán_ in your care, _señorita_. And I'll see if I can't send for a bath soon."

A thought struck me and I whirled to catch his attention. "Oh! How is Lady BeKatt weathering the storm?"

Lesaro's easygoing expression immediately sank into a sour frown. "That one is going to weather it out in the brig if she insists on continuing to screech like she was. 'tis enough to make a man's ears bleed!"

I laughed at that, yet could only the misery we'd be put through if he made good on his threat.

Unexpectedly, he paused to reach out and squeeze my shoulder comfortingly before quitting the captain's quarters.

And then it was just me and the captain.

Blowing out a frazzled breath, I turned my full attention to the man that had been twisting my mental processes into ugly knots the entire time I'd been on his ship.

Now, the power was all in my favor. Relatively speaking. Yet even as he wheezed for breath under the thin sheet, I couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than agonizing fear. Not fear of Salazar himself, but that he wouldn't get better, wouldn't wake up and return to his normal menacing self.

I sighed in defeat and clambered onto the bed again, glad that it was big enough that I wouldn't have to worry about rolling into his big body without some serious effort but I was close enough that I could stretch out and touch him. His heavier weight still made the bed dip, but I was far enough away that I wasn't being sucked in.

I didn't like feeling like this. Didn't like the worry gnawing holes in my stomach, the overwhelming panic that was distracted from my own situation and instead focused on Salazar's wellbeing.

It wasn't normal, this feeling of dread at his illness. Sure, I felt concern when someone wasn't feeling well, felt anxious when someone close to me was sick, but this was a completely different level and I had no clue what to make of it.

Silently freaking out about pretty much everything at this point, I inched closer and slowly, warily, waiting for him to twitch or anything, and pulled his arm close to my chest, hugging it much like how he had earlier with mine.

I knew this was a bad idea being this close, that despite my blithe comment to Magda, Salazar was physically very powerful and he could do a great deal of damage to me if he turned violent again. Yet I couldn't bring myself to let go. It gave a surprising amount of comfort for the simple act that it was.

And if I wasn't imagining it, his breathing minutely eased as I held his arm against me, holding on for dear life. I would try to wipe him down with a damp cloth in a little while, but he was quiet for a change and I didn't want to disturb him while he could rest.

So there I stayed, not touching him in any way other than just hugging his arm. Even as sick as he was, he was still an intimidating presence and I didn't feel comfortable taking more liberties than this. It made me shudder to think of how he'd react when the fever broke. But I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.

The tension slowly slid from my limbs as I concentrated on taking small breaths so I didn't stretch my aching ribs. My lungs still felt irritated and my throat was being tickled with an almost constant urge to cough, but other than a few slips, I managed to ignore it.

I remembered the dark voice during my own fever spell, now able to recognize that gravelly timbre, accented with a familiar Spanish cadence. Why had he done that? Why had he been the one to look after me, instead of ordering Reíno or someone else?

For the life of me, I just couldn't figure him out. Any other guy it might have tentatively suggested that he liked me, but despite what Lesaro had said, I knew Salazar could barely stand my presence. He might've become more tolerant of late, even going so far as to be pleasant, but it was only a matter of time before I did something else to piss him off again.

I hugged his arm tighter, squeezing my eyes shut against overheated flesh as I slowly boxed everything up and tucked away for later. I just couldn't deal with it right now, couldn't glean the answers that I needed. Hell, I wasn't even sure I knew the right questions.

Time crawled by and Salazar began to shift restlessly, so I went ahead and wiped him down with a different cloth than the one I used to give him water, helplessly tracing the lines of lean muscle in his arms with tentative fingers. It was like every time I glanced away, whenever I looked back the sheer impact of his magnetism hit me full force again and again. Dimly, I wondered if the brunt of it would fade eventually as I pulled the sleeves of the nightshirt Lesaro had dressed him in back down to cover his graceful limbs.

Lesaro managed to hook me up with a quick, cool bath shortly after, which I gratefully thanked him profusely for, while he looked after Salazar. After trying to melt in my own skin for the past few days, it was a lovely relief to be able to soak in the cool water in my quarters, though I had to be careful not to get pitched out of the tub.

Quickly changing into my usual pajamas and grabbing my logbook and _Don Quixote_ , I returned to my nursemaid duties, swapping with Lesaro so he could return to keeping the _Mary_ running in top form. I did have to giggle at his perplexed look upon seeing my clothes, shaking his head in bemusement as he left.

After making Salazar drink the equivalent of almost half the refilled pitcher, I left the poor man in peace, curling up on the bedside next to him and held his arm again, pressing my forehead against the thick muscle of his shoulder to try and ground myself as I listened to the rasp of his breathing. A few moments passed, and I couldn't take the silence anymore and started to hum, then sing, all the songs I could remember. Most of them sounded flat and awkward without the rest of the music, and singing them made me feel very homesick, but the sound of my voice helped greatly to fill the void with the only other sound being crashing waves and a distant roll of thunder.

So I continued to sing quietly, comforting both me and the feverish Spaniard next to me. He jerked in his sleep a few times before I slid my hand down until I could twine my fingers with his to comfort him, marveling at just how much his hand dwarfed mine, at the visible strength in the cords of tendons. The sight of his dark tan against my pale skin did strange things to my insides and with a surprising amount of effort, I managed to tear my eyes away.

It was very intimidating, just how out of my depth I felt around him. The tingles, the electricity, the urge to stare, the sheer attraction to move closer kept me on edge, made me uncomfortable. But I couldn't let it keep me from helping him, even if he hadn't asked for it, more than likely wouldn't appreciate it.

I wouldn't leave his side, not until he didn't need me anymore. So I stayed.

And kept vigil.

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 **And so it begins, delving deeper down the rabbit hole... *starts cackling* Ooooh, the shenanigans that could happen while the good** ** _Capitán_** **is ill... *rubs hands together with a wicked grin* What could _possibly_ be headed our way? *Cheshire cat smile***


	23. Chapter 23

**Whooohooo! Gotta love them vacation breaks! Unfortunately, it's already over. T^T But in the meantime, here's a new chapter! Little shorter, but it's mostly filler...and CUDDLES! *grins* Some days, we just need cuddles forced upon us, right? Preferably by tasty, toasty Spaniards? ;) Anyway, I'm a little tired while I was proofreading this, so I apologize if things slipped through (who am I kidding? Things _always_ slip through!). Thank you again for the lovely reviews! They keep my soul warm (I'm only partially kidding :P), and they mean so much to me... Speaking of which, now why would you have a feeling like that, Pandere? *snickers***

 **Salazar - Disney, Isabeau - "Why is she giggling and rubbing her hands together?"**

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It was dark out when Salazar's fever turned his restless slumber into thrashing dreams.

I was desperate to keep him calm. He was too strong, too big for me to move about without Lesaro's help, and Lesaro had double duties with Salazar out of commission. I stroked his sweaty hair, flinching at the fever heat burning my skin. He rasped a hoarse groan that made me wince in sympathy for his throat, and I tried to move away to get some more water.

Suddenly, he twisted and the next thing I knew I was wrapped in a scorching embrace, pressed flat against six feet of solid, sweltering muscle. So much touching made my brain short out for a quick moment, then it came back online with a jolt and I tried to wriggle free of his grasp.

That only caused him to constrict his grip and I immediately stopped as I began to wheeze, afraid he might accidently break a rib. For an older man, he was _strong_. I knew that men typically had more muscle mass than women, but _still_! As soon as I grew still though, his hold loosened and I could breath, but apparently I wasn't allowed to go anywhere under threat of being crushed.

"I'm not leaving, big guy. I was just gonna get you some water," I whispered soothingly, managing to slip one arm around in my awkward position so I could pet him wherever I could reach, trying to comfort him. "Poor man, you're as sick as death, aren't you? Don't worry, I'll keep you company. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

His hot face nuzzled into my neck, lips tickling as he murmured against my skin, beard shadow rubbing against my jaw, all sparking odd feelings in my belly. I tried to squirm away from the teasing sensations, but his arms only tightened until I couldn't even wiggle. And his face was _still_ pressed against my neck!

Warm chills raced over my skin as I strained to pull away to no avail, only to squeak in surprise when he rolled me almost entirely underneath him. Most of his weight was pressing me into the bed and I whimpered at the surprisingly delicious feel of his heavy body, the thin sheet and his shirt doing nothing to hide the steely contours of his lean torso.

My will to escape was quickly fading as languid warmth spread through my weakening limbs, the wonderfully masculine sensation of his frame making me melt beneath him.

" _No te vas a alejar de mí esta vez, mi cariño_ ," he purred, making waves of frisson skitter down my spine at that deep rumble.

I froze at the erotic feel of his words vibrating against my throat, his mouth hot over my pulse as tingles unexpectedly shimmered to life between my legs. _Who the hell is he talking to? His mistress? Cuz that was no 'mere acquaintance' tone of voice, that was pure seduction incarnate!_

Either way, I was in big trouble.

"Hey, n-none of that! I don't know who it is you think you're talking to, but get _off_!" I squeezed my arms between his chest and mine, shoving against a wall of immovable muscle, trying to put some space between me and the seductive beast getting way too close for comfort.

Salazar didn't even budge.

"Dude! Let. _Go!_ " I started to shimmy downwards, hoping I could slip out underneath his arms, when I suddenly gasped and froze.

There was a bulge pressing against my belly. A _very_ prominent bulge.

And there was no way in hell I could mistake it for anything other than what it was.

 _Oh, shit._ I swallowed nervously at the feel of his arousal digging into my stomach, a small whimper escaping at how big it felt, my thighs involuntarily squeezing together as heat gathered between them.

I mentally slapped myself, trying to yank free of his spell. _Fucking seriously?! Snap out of it! We aren't equipped to deal with this, in any shape or form!_

 _But holy cow -_

"Gah!" I yelped in frantic alarm at the uncontrollable spiral of my frenzied thoughts and struggled back upwards, away from the intriguing aspect of male anatomy currently making itself very known against my midriff.

I blamed my inexperience for the dulling of my brain and the uncontrollable clenching between my legs, even as nervous uncertainly bubbled in my stomach. I didn't like this. I was way out of my depth and I was starting to feel a little scared, even through the arousal clouding my thoughts. I had never been in this sort of a situation before, had never been this close with any guy, had never felt the masculine weight pinning me to the bed and it was an alien experience. The pressing of hot kisses against the tender skin of my neck and the thick ridge of his arousal against my stomach were equally unknown and startling.

Salazar nuzzled closer, pulling me flush against him, one arm sliding lower to press my hips against his waist, and with the sheet having slipped away, leaving only his nightshirt and my pajamas between us, I could definitely make out that he wasn't one of those men that would ever feel the need to compensate.

Yet my own unruly arousal was tinged with a sickly taste of fear.

The captain was a strong man. It wouldn't be hard for him to coax something to happen, even as ill as he was. It wasn't like I had my full strength to struggle with either, and my willpower was already proving to be on shaky legs at best. Nor was I in any way prepared to deal with an emotional and mental nuclear warhead of that caliber. I'd barely even been kissed, if it could have been called that, and here I was having my physical education of intimacy being accelerated way too quickly!

"Easy, easy," I soothed unsteadily, glad he couldn't feel the nervous trembling in my hands in his current state as I slid his sweaty hair off of his forehead. "Come on, let go. You don't wanna do anything like that with me, do ya? I'm just some crazy woman that dropped into your life from nowhere. You can't stand me. You're ready to boot me off soon as the _Silent Mary_ docks, remember? Let go, Armando. Please."

At the sound of his name, which I hadn't even realized I'd remembered until it slipped out, he groaned quietly and cuddled me closer, but his embrace subtly changed from amorous to the pure seeking of comfort.

Salazar held me in his arms like I was the only thing keeping him from slipping into the void.

Like he'd never let me go.

An uncontrollable shudder chased over my skin at that train of thought, but I could deal with this. It was when he got other ideas that I couldn't handle it. I wasn't really much of a prude, wasn't waiting for marriage to have sex or anything, but between emotional detachment and fictional characters having set my standards inhumanly high, situations like that were very dysfunctional for me and extremely stressful mentally. And now I just severely lacked the ability to cope with processing a romantic relationship of any degree, especially with attractive men. Call it a mental hang-up.

Besides, Salazar thought of me as little more than a nuisance, and even if he didn't, I wasn't the sort of girl to jump into that kind of a mess with someone whom I'd only known little over a week. Yeah, no.

But no matter how hard I struggled, how much I squirmed, the man stubbornly refused to let go until finally I just gave up and went limp. Sweat beaded unpleasantly on my already sticky skin, both from my efforts in futility and the overheated body pressed against mine. The memory of the last time I'd been captured in his embrace flickered through my mind and I made a face at the feeling of déjà vu.

"This is very uncomfortable, I'll have you know. You're making me melt. This was not on my list of things to deal with when I got up this morning," I told him peevishly, only half-heartedly irritated. It wasn't like it was his fault he was sick. If anybody could be blamed, it would be me, not that I'd intentionally gone out and gotten a high grade fever.

But with me in his arms, Salazar remained surprisingly calm, not trying to twist or thrash about, which I couldn't figure out for the life of me. Was it just that he needed human contact? Yet I had hard time seeing him grabbing Lesaro and holding onto him for dear life. Was it like the lieutenant had said, that he just needed a "feminine touch"?

Either way, I was just grateful that such a strong, well-built individual wasn't wildly flailing about with me pressed so close. It wouldn't have been pretty.

So both to give him something to concentrate on through his fever and to distract me from the solid feel of his strength against me, I started to talk. I talked until my voice grew hoarse, told him of what my world was like where I lived, told him about my pets, about my job, my life. His weight began to feel so deliciously good, though, and the longer he stayed like this, the more I got used to it, the more the panic faded, until I was actually able to enjoy the feeling of being in his embrace. I kept talking until I found myself repeating things I'd already said, then dozed a little.

I still hadn't recovered from my own bout of brutal fever, still physically weak and needed sleep, but he began to get restless shortly after I fell quiet.

Luckily, he _finally_ let go of me, rolling to his other side and muttering with fever dream, so I got up to stretch gratefully and cool off some as I searched through his books to find something to entertain the both of us, the heated memories of being pressed so intimately against him still sending goosebumps rippling over my skin.

Unfortunately, anything that wasn't tactics or history or incredibly dry was in Spanish except for a book of poetry I wasn't gonna touch with a ten-foot pole. _I'm not that desperate yet._ And I didn't feel like dealing with the "thous" and "thees" of _Don Quixote_. I huffed in annoyance and walked in a slow circle, wondering what more I could glean about the reserved captain.

He didn't have a lot of personal stuff, and I wondered whether it was a personal choice or something that came from being a naval officer. Me personally, I was a packrat, and I found myself enjoying my visits to Lesaro's office with his organized clutter. But while the captain's quarters weren't Spartan by any means, I found them extremely comfortable, they lacked the I Spy nature that I relished with my own room back home.

I was impressed with the sheer amount of books that he had, knowing that books were still relatively expensive in the 1700s, and that he was so literate. I never thought that he was stupid by any means, but it tickled to think of the intimidating, tempestuous captain as being a fellow bookworm.

Bored, I padded around in circles, poking and tinkering with various objects before clicking in my throat and returning back into his sleeping quarters to watch him for a few moments. He was in another quiet spell, the covers half on, half off and I laughed a little at the disarray of the normally meticulously-groomed captain.

I shook my head, smiling at myself as I fixed his covers, careful not to touch his skin. After that…whatever that had been, I felt a little too frazzled to deal with touching bare skin at the moment. I would have given him some more water, but I didn't want to disturb the restful sleep.

But I wasn't quite as worried about him not getting better, consciously knew he was way too stubborn to die. I just needed to keep him company until he broke the fever. The concern knotted in my gut had noticeably shrunk, but the gnawing worries were still chewing away at the back of my mind, even while I tried to ignore them as much as I could.

Glancing around, I figured he would be so mad when he woke up and found out that his room was more or less trashed from his exertions, covers kicked everywhere, a few items strewn about that I had no clue what were for. I tried to clean up as much as I could, but there was only so much I could do without knowing where everything went.

Already worn out, I tiredly crept back onto the bed and curled up next to his side, resting my chin on his covered chest with a sigh and listened to him breathe. It was a little ragged, but still strong, which was a huge relief. It felt like a vise loosened from around my chest when I heard that steady rhythm of breath, felt his chest move evenly up and down. His temperature hadn't changed, was still way too high, but he didn't seem to be getting worse, which eased my worrying a little, but I knew it was still too early to tell for sure. A lot could change in a short amount of time.

Gradually I found myself growing more comfortable in his presence, thankful for the reprieve from the constant studying that made me feel so panicked, yet not wishing him ill to have gotten it. I wasn't afraid of him anymore, wasn't sure if I'd ever been _truly_ afraid of him, but he was just so… _intense_. The sheer aura he generated kept me on edge, and it had all but disappeared during his unconscious state. Now, he was just like any other man, yet somehow he still retained the feeling of being more. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, whatever it was. Plus that troublesome attractiveness didn't help, nor did the vivid memories of having that wide, sensuous mouth pressed right over the pulse of my neck. Just thinking about it sent hot tingles skittering down my spine and shivered.

My eyelids grew heavier as I listened to the calming in and out of his breathing, knowing I should move away lest he decide he needed to grab me again, but I found I was too tired to move, too bone weary from worrying and recovering to do more than sink deeper into a melted puddle of relaxed muscles. But I needed to stay awake as long as I could to watch him, made sure he stayed quiet.

So I began to tell him a story about a young girl and an older man who'd lost his daughter in the apocalypse, and their unwitting journey to save the human race from a virulent fungus that infected the human race and had shattered the world, yet hidden beauty still remained in the ruins.

As long as I talked, he remained calm. I wasn't sure if he was listening or if it was just the sound of someone nearby that soothed him, but I was glad he spent more time quietly sleeping than the alternative, grateful for the reprieve from the thrashing and struggling, however briefly. And the uncontrollable cuddling, which I would have definitely enjoyed if it wasn't for the boiling heat he was exuding and the faint threat of more than just cuddling.

I found myself dozing against him intermittently before I would blink awake and keep talking, long into the night until we both gave up and dozed into fitful sleep, my dreams plagued with the erotic memories of being in his arms.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 ** _No te vas a alejar de mí esta vez, mi cariña_** _ **-** You're not getting away from me this time, my dear/darling. _

***is giggling like a crazy loon* Oh, mama, I had so much fun with that you wouldn't believe! Oh, and the game she's talking about is the Last of Us (excellent game, wonderfully portrayed). And we're not done dealing with his cuddling, seductive self yet! I'm probably gonna go ahead and change the rating to M, just to be on the safe side. Nothing really graphic, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, so we've been at this enough times that we all know that Salazar doesn't belong to me. And now, onto the main event! *fanfare* (Sorry, really tired and life is being dumb, so I'll come back and make edits later)**

* * *

The next morning proved to be better, Salazar's fever was still going strong, but he was calm in the bed, only twitching and muttering in his sleep. The storm seemed to have died down considerably, if not abated entirely, for which I was ever so grateful. Except I now felt like I'd been run over by a lawnmower from a shitty night of on and off sleep, between Salazar's senseless bouts of tossing and turning and being jerked awake from my own very vivid, very erotic dreams. I'd _never_ had erotic dreams before, but considering the constant main attraction featuring in all of them, I put it down to lack of inspiration and material.

Carefully easing away from the feverish Spaniard that seemed to have inched closer to me during the night, I slowly sat upright and stretched, the creakiness in my body protesting the movements. Glancing over at my unwitting bedwarmer, I felt my face warm at the recollection of just what I'd felt underneath that thin nightshirt, and the curiosity was almost irresistible, yet it was tempered by overwhelming wariness. I was tempted, very much so, just to curl up against him to see if he would embrace me again, but the sensations he created were still too new, too shocking, for me to do anything more than just stare and fantasize. And if I did possess the courage, what sort of morals would I have if I took advantage of someone who weren't in control of themselves?

However, even tired as I was, my muscles still weak from my own bout of quick, brutal fever, I predictably grew bored. So, while he was out of commission, I started snooping through his quarters again. Simply because I could and my curiosity thought it was a Good Idea.

But I knew if Salazar ever found out, I doubted he'd take kindly to it. So I was careful in my snooping.

The light from the windows allowed me to take in his sleeping quarters in far greater detail than yesterday, plus I'd been more concerned with the captain than anything else. The furniture was made of the same dark, well-polished mahogany as the rest of his quarters, which gave it a heavily masculine feel, but still seemed cozy to me. But then, I was just weird.

His bed was a massive masterpiece of the same dark wood, the bedposts as well as the headboard carved with intricate inlays. I wasn't too surprised to see that it didn't have any drapes or canopies as was usually favored, having already gleaned that Salazar didn't seem to care much for unnecessary frills such as those, but was still willing to sacrifice sheer practicality for comfort when he wished. The bedcovers themselves were black silk, luxurious to the touch, yet the down counterpane made up for the slippery cool sheets. Plus, with Salazar heating up the bed, I was surprisingly too hot under the covers, for a change. Usually I was always freezing until I warmed up, but I found I was having to actually sleep on top of the covers, of all things. _If he was at his normal temperature, I bet he'd be the best heater to sleep next to, hands down._

Just thinking of how cold my bed was during the winter time back home, and how often I'd wished for someone to keep my back warm made me whimper forlornly. I'd even deal with the cuddling, once I got used to it.

 _Oh, admit it. You'd_ enjoy _more cuddling, now quite your whining._

Rolling my eyes at myself, knowing it was true, I resumed inspecting his room.

I stuck my tongue out at the precisely folded clothes in their drawers, then poked through the armoire, discovering the rest of his uniform coats. He only had a handful, the rest of the wardrobe taken up with various other clothes I assumed were for when he was on shore leave.

Poking through the rest of his cabinets and such mostly revealed other various living necessities, all neat and orderly. _How boring. Where's his mementos or his secret hobby?_

I plopped myself down on the bed next to him and gave his unconscious form a disgruntled stare. "How am I supposed to ferret out your secrets if you don't have any hidden evidence, Salazar? I know you're not that boring."

Yawning, I stood and shuffled over to a comfy armchair tucked away in the corner to try and resist the urge to fall asleep on that cushy bed. Unfortunately, curling up in it almost immediately put me to sleep, but I smacked my face a couple times and watched his chest move with his breathing...

I jerked out of my dozing when he started mumbling, muttering louder than usual in his sleep. Blinking tiredly, I crawled back onto the bed with another yawn and listened to his chest, relieved to hear the raspiness had smoothed out greatly through the night.

He shifted restlessly and kept up his quiet litany in Spanish. Whatever he was dreaming about, it wasn't pleasant. His face had twisted into a sadness I'd never seen before on anyone, and with a wrench on my heartstrings, I hoped never to see again.

Curling up against him, I carefully maneuvered his head into my lap, shushing him as best as I could as I tried to protect him from his nightmares. All the while, I wondered what or who had hurt him so badly…

I didn't even try to resist the impulse to lean down and place a gentle kiss on his forehead, taking a quick second to feel hot male skin against my lips. I wished I could take his pain, or at least ease it somehow. I might be oblivious, but for the most part I didn't care to see people suffer unless they deserved it. "It's alright, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Running my fingers through the long locks of his unbound hair, I was surprised at how little the length of his hair bothered me. I didn't find long hair on men attractive in any aspect, but oddly enough, it suited him well. Not that I had any doubts that a shorter haircut would be equally attractive. It was extremely unfair just how strikingly gorgeous he was.

Salazar unexpectedly turned towards me, burying his face in my stomach and suddenly the intimacy of this position registered in my brain, making my cheeks flare red. I coughed uneasily, but reminded myself he was out of his mind with fever. The worst he could do was clock me upside the head with one huge fist, and I was blatantly ignoring other things he was capable of.

The sudden knock on his cabin door made me jump, brain scrambling until I realized I hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone since Lesaro had left me with Salazar yesterday.

"It's open," I called, hoping it was Lesaro, and not Magda. Oh, god, if that one saw me with Salazar's head in my lap…

Luckily, Lesaro's familiar face appeared through the door and he made his way into the sleeping quarters, taking in my situation with a quirked eyebrow.

To my horror, I blushed harder and went on the defensive. "No, I'm not ravishing him in his sleep, get your mind out of the gutter." _But dat temptation, tho…_

The lieutenant coughed and the tips of his ears turned pink. "I would never have assumed-"

Grinning, I waved a hand for him to stop. "You're fine. He was having some bad dreams and I was trying to soothe him. Please tell me you brought something to eat," I suddenly added, not realizing how hungry I was until right that second as my stomach abruptly growled in response to the thought of food.

He lifted the bag he held and set it on the bed next to me, a full water pitcher in his other hand to replace the empty one. "Light fare, as you're still not well yourself. And Miguel made some broth if you are able to get him to drink it."

"I'll torture him in a little while. He's finally calmed down." I ran my fingers through the inky strands, trying not to dwell on how much it comforted me to do that, then inched out from underneath him to pull out a soft loaf of bread from the bag, along with some dried fruit.

Lesaro kept quiet for a few minutes while I ate, making me wonder what he was thinking as he stared at the still form of his captain.

"Penny for your thoughts," I finally said quietly.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Clearing his throat, he said hesitantly, "I only say this because I have never seen…" He took a deep breath before continuing, " _Capitán_ has had…female companions in the past, yet none has he ever treated how he has you."

"You mean abominably with threats of imprisonment and then ignoring for days on end?" I asked dryly.

Lesaro huffed indignantly. "Certainly not. No, he feels something for you…Though you may not realize it, whenever you are on deck, he is careful to keep you in his sights. He lets you get away with offenses that anyone else would have been severely punished for."

I recalled that one dinner where I'd kicked him in the shin for stealing my pineapple and had to agree.

He adjusted his cravat as if it was suddenly too tight. "I hope you will forgive me if I say this, but you are…different, than any other woman I have met. Even with the impossibility of you being from the future, I cannot argue that there is something odd about you. And," he held up a hand as I opened my mouth to defend myself, "I know that had you wished us ill will, you certainly wouldn't be caught helping sort letters."

He smiled kindly as I ducked my head sheepishly. It wasn't my fault that I was raised to help someone in return for saving my life…

"I have thought more about it and I believe that he cares for you, and not just in that he feels a responsibility for you. And if I may be so bold…I believe you have feelings for him as well."

I couldn't answer, but unfortunately my blazing cheeks were answer enough.

Lesaro hummed as I confirmed his suspicions. "I must warn you, if I have guessed correctly, he will strive to ignore his feelings for as long as he can, but he will eventually be forced to acknowledge how he feels about you."

My head snapped up and I frowned at him. "Why does it sound like you're trying to imply that he's interested in me in a romantic sense?"

The lieutenant's mouth quirked sideways in a secretive little smirk. "Because I am."

I stared before rolling my eyes with a loud snort. "It's official. You're more delusional than I am, and _I'm_ running around saying I'm from the future."

He didn't appreciate that, judging by the disapproving look he shot me. "And why wouldn't he want you? You're quite striking, intelligent, fascinating…you certainly won't bore him, and I think that he would be a good match for you."

I understood what Lesaro was getting at, but I also knew better. I knew what I looked like, I knew I wasn't interesting enough to hold the captain's attention, and if this had been any other situation, he wouldn't have even looked once in my direction. After all, no one ever had before, so why would that suddenly change?

So despite the lieutenant's best efforts, they all went in one ear and out the other. I had the suspicion he knew I didn't believe him, but he didn't push too hard. I appreciated that he'd tried, but my self-esteem was too low to even fantasize about the idea. Well, fantasize certainly, but hope? It was too impossible, too unlikely.

"Maybe a good match for an earlier acceptance into a mental institution, but that's about it. Lesaro, please, just drop it," I pleaded when he opened his mouth to argue further.

"Drop…it?" he frowned at me in confusion at the unfamiliar phrase.

"Stop pressing the subject. I appreciate what you're trying to say, but it's just not plausible. He's this…intimidating, revered and yes, I'll admit it, _attractive_ naval captain and I'm just … me." I rumbled unhappily in my chest, rolling the noise into a deep growl. I didn't like saying it out loud. It made me feel depressed.

Lesaro shifted away slightly at my growling, but when I didn't do anything more than that, he relaxed. "That is quite unnerving."

I clicked in my throat. "Partially the reason I do it, mostly because I find it comforting."

His eye flickered over my face before he asked quietly. "You honestly accept that you aren't capable of holding the _capitán's_ interest? That you're too lacking?"

Dully meeting his steady gaze, I softly scoffed. "I'm not blind, Lesaro, and I'm not stupid either. What you're implying is just wishful thinking."

"So you believe that you're…ugly?" he questioned, confused.

"No, not ugly. Just not attractive," I corrected, becoming more and more dejected as the conversation went on. "Can we _please_ stop talking about this?"

"Someone, somewhere, has monstrously lied to you. Repeatedly," he grumbled under his breath, then raised his hands defensively as I glared at him, curling my lip. "That's all I'm going to say on the matter! No more, I swear!"

I continued to show off my sharp canines for a brief moment, then slumped with a deep sigh. "Anyway, while you're here, we should change the sheets."

Reluctantly, Lesaro nodded.

I _wanted_ to believe, so badly. I wanted there to be something about me that would intrigue a fascinating, complex man like Salazar, wanted to have some quality that would spark an interest that would grow into something amazing. Had wanted it for as long as I could remember.

But I knew the truth.

No matter how fascinating I tried to be, it was never enough. _I_ was never enough.

Biting my lip to fight the urge to just curl up and cry, I helped Lesaro roll Salazar into an upright position, adjusting him so we could get the sheets off the bed. It was tricky enough that it helped to take my mind off Lesaro's effort to help, but all too quickly we were done and had tucked him back under the thin sheet.

Lesaro wiped him down while I went to get more water from the stores, then he helped me with the broth. Between the two of us, we managed to get him to drink all of it, an outcome that went better than I'd expected, to my relief.

"Do you need anything else, _señorita_?" Lesaro asked, looking regretful for some reason.

I cocked my head to the side. What was he regretting? "Do you have any small bits of string, leather, metal? Metal pieces smaller than a coin?"

His remorse morphed into confusion. "What on earth would you want with that?"

My mouth lifted in a little smile at his completely baffled look. "I would like to make something. An anklet."

Lesaro raised an eyebrow in bemusement, whether at my request or what I'd planned to do with it, I didn't know. "I will see what I can procure for you."

"Thank you. I appreciate it." I'd always liked anklets, and since I was still pretty much going around barefoot, I figured I'd take the opportunity to wear one again. "Lesaro, I have a question, if you don't mind me asking."

"Hm?" He didn't look up as he pressed two fingers against Salazar's pulse, checking his heart rate.

"Is it just me, or does everyone on the _Mary_ not seemed to be too concerned with propriety? I mean, I wear male attire, run around without shoes, and nobody bats an eye." I knew that rules of conduct, especially where women were concerned, were very strict. Not even ankles were supposed to be seen, and here I was, practically flashing everyone.

Lesaro paused at my question and raised his head, turning the question over for a moment before answering. "It is…difficult to put into words but while on a ship, etiquette is much less…rigid?"

"Different rules apply while aboard?" I translated.

He nodded affirmative. "Precisely. Also, we have already been at sea for several weeks, and some decorum tends to lax during such extended time. The _capitán_ , however, expects us to observe full protocol no matter how long we are at sea, but as you are simply a passenger, he tends to be more relaxed where you and Lady BeKatt are concerned."

"Not that I can see Lady BeKatt wandering around in anything other than full attire," I mused, grinning slightly at the thought of that crazy woman trying to slink around in full hoop skirts.

Lesaro made a face that had me giggling at the sight. "She has calmed down considerably since she was first brought aboard, even going so far as to use her sewing skills to help patch up rips and tears in uniforms, but still…she reminds me too much of _la_ _codiciosa ramera_ at court."

I snorted a laugh at his disgusted look. "She reminds you of _what_?"

He curled his lip in revulsion. " _Lo siento,_ it is an unflattering term for the… _ladies_ that frequent court."

I cocked my head to the side, interested in that last word. "Court? As in, your royal court?"

" _Sí_. The _capitán_ is one of the king's favorites, often spending most of his shore leave entertaining high-ranking aristocrats, and would force me to accompany him. He would insist "someone must share in my suffering", and since he is my _capitán_ and my friend, I would attend with him." He leaned against one of the bedposts with a long-suffering sigh before a small smile flickered across his face at the recollections.

"With lots of complaining on your part?" I guessed, fascinated with this glimpse into their lives.

His smile widened. "Quite loudly."

I laughed at that, all too easily able to imagine the two bantering back and forth about being tortured with boredom. "How long have you two been friends?"

"Ah…too long. We both were accepted into the Royal Navy at the same time, but we were friends before that. Mando has had…unpleasant things happen to him, early in life, and he was more or less adopted by my own _madre_. One could say we are practically brothers. In fact, I believe he still has a portrait somewhere _mi_ _madre_ had commissioned after our first orders…" He moved to rifle through Salazar's drawers, opening and closing a few before he found what he was looking for. Pulling out a small framed painting, he sat on the bed and handed it to me.

Inspecting the two young men painted, standing shoulder to shoulder in the smart dress of freshly minted naval officers, I recognized Lesaro instantly. The other young man, however…

"This….is him?" I choked, not taking my eyes off the painting as I jerked a thumb at Salazar.

I heard the questioning tone lacing Lesaro's voice as he replied, " _Sí_."

My jaw went slack as I took in the sheer heart-stopping gorgeousness of a young Salazar. When I'd first laid eyes on the intimidating captain, I'd thought he'd have been a gangly, strange-looking youth until he'd grown into his features.

I'd been wrong. I'd been so, so wrong.

He'd been fucking _hot._

No, that didn't quite encompass it. _The man had been a goddamn walking heart attack._

His features had matured into a darker, more hypnotizing sort of attractiveness as he'd aged, one that tangled my thoughts and my tongue into enough knots as it was. But if I'd had the chance to talk to him in his early twenties? Yeah, there wouldn't have been anything but senseless stammering and stupidity on my part.

"Take it back," I gasped, struggling to get my equilibrium under control. If a sheer _painting_ had fucked me up, no wonder I couldn't think straight when I was around him!

Lesaro seemed to have figured out my problem, because there was a roguish little smirk of amusement on his face as he took the painting and put it back in the drawer. "Are you feeling alright? You seem flushed."

I glared at him, still a little dazed. "You're not funny, Lesaro."

He outright laughed at that, as if he'd been anticipating my reaction. "I take it you were not expecting the _capitán_ to be that handsome in his youth?"

Clamping my mouth shut, I mutely shot daggers at him, the rat bastard. My face felt beet red and the embarrassment only made it worse. "So glad I can amuse you."

My icy tone did nothing to dampen his amusement, as he still wore a wide, smug grin. "He has certainly never lacked for feminine attention. He can be quite charming when he wishes."

His comment abruptly sank like a weight in my stomach. And here I was, practically fawning over the man myself. What did that make me? Just like every other female that was struck dumb by his magnetism? He was probably laughing at me and my poor attempts at hiding my hopeless crush.

My thoughts must have been written on my face because Lesaro suddenly gave me a comforting smile and reached out to briefly cover the back of my hand with his palm. "I would not worry, _Señorita_ Isabeau. You hide your attraction well."

"Not well enough," I grumbled, still slightly irked by his teasing, enough that I didn't have any discomfort when he touched me. " _You_ noticed. And you can stop with the _señorita_ at any time. Just call me Isabeau. Or Blue."

"As you wish. But only if you address me as Guillermo." He paused for a second, then added, "In private, _por favor_. I doubt the _capitán_ would take kindly to you using my first name. He has a tendency to be…"

"Cranky and unpredictable?" I supplied helpfully, grinning at our mutual teasing when Lesaro chuckled in return.

"And as for your attraction, you should not be embarrassed at feeling such. The _capitán_ is a formidable man, and it takes a special woman to be able to feel so deeply for him."

And just like that, my cheeks went beet red. "I have no clue what you're talking about, but there's no deep feelings involved. Not from me. And _certainly_ not for him, crotchety beast that he is."

Lesaro laughed at that and shook his head. "I will go see if I can find some trinkets like you requested. And I'll have a bath prepared in your cabin shortly as well. I'll come look after him when it's ready for you."

"Thank you, Guillermo," I said, testing his name on my tongue, rolling the soft consonants and decided I liked his name. It fitted him well. "How is Lady BeKatt faring? Still screeching like the harpy she is?"

Surprisingly, his smile didn't fade, but instead turned mischievous. "No, no she is no longer screeching. She is quite pleasant while she sleeps."

Frowning, I stared at him suspiciously. "Guillermo, what did you do?"

Snickering, his mischievous look turned more wicked. "I may have slipped some laudanum in her tea."

"You didn't!" I gasped in horror, then unable to help myself at his unashamedly pleased look, started laughing. "You did! Oh, you terrible, terrible man! You're the absolute worst!"

Grinning widely, he shrugged a little with a wiggle of his eyebrows. "She should have heeded our warnings. Since she did not, she'll pass through this storm and wake feeling well rested and our hearing will remain intact."

"You can't just go around _drugging_ people, though! It's not right!" I exclaimed, trying to scold him even as I struggled not to burst into laughter again.

He quirked a brow. "Very well, then next time she starts wailing, we'll send _you_ in to deal with it."

"On second thought, drug her as much as you like," I said quickly, not wanting to test if he'd make good on his threat.

"That's what I thought." He rose to his feet and winced as he straightened to his full height with a small pop from somewhere in his back. "I must return to the helm, I've already been away for too long. I'll have Miguel ready a small meal for you when you are finished bathing."

A concern sprang to mind. "How do you have enough fresh water for all these baths I'm taking? Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate them, but-"

"We have plenty of water, _Señ-_ Isabeau." Lesaro gently cut me off. "You need not concern yourself with it."

I wrinkled my nose at him, but subsided. If he insisted, I certainly wasn't going to turn him down. "Alright. I trust you. But I'm not drinking anything you give me for a while."

He snorted. "If it took me this long to slip Lady BeKatt laudanum, I think you are safe."

I grinned at him and stuck out my tongue. "I'm just teasing you. Go on, get."

Shaking his head at me shooing him out the door, he closed it quietly behind him.

Glancing over at Salazar, who'd been quiet this whole time, I was glad to see he no longer seemed to be having bad dreams. Instead his face was relaxed in sleep and I couldn't resist reaching over and brushing his hair off of his forehead.

"You need to wake up soon. Your first officer has been reduced to drugging people," I murmured with a quiet snicker, still unable to quite believe that Lesaro had actually drugged someone. Granted, that someone was Lady BeKatt, who would undoubtedly cause a saint to commit murder, but _still_.

Salazar only groaned deep in his throat and shifted under my touch, fever still burning from his skin.

* * *

 **Spanish translations courtesy of nettacartwright**

 _La_ _codiciosa ramera_ \- The greedy harlots

 **I'm not giving any spoilers this time!**


	25. Chapter 25

**I. AM. BACK. Oh, mama, it's been a rough ride, and quite a bit of this chapter wasn't what I'd originally planned to have, but I'm pleased with the end result. 'tis making it a little bit of a longer ride than it was supposed to be, but I don't mind, don't think anyone else will either. And next update should be very soon. Currently enjoying a lovely Christmas break, so yes, should be soon.**

 **Also, Merry Christmas everyone! Or your preferred holiday equivalent!**

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Lesaro was gone for a while so eventually I moved to stretch out on the exceedingly comfortable bed and just dozed, resting my exhausted muscles as I waited. Salazar started muttering again, but it wasn't the same heartbreaking pleading as earlier, for which I was grateful. Talking to him and petting him kept him calm, but my voice was already starting to cut out from all the talking I'd been doing, so instead I curled up close to overheated Spaniard and laid my hand across his chest, stroking the thick, well-defined pads of muscle to let him know he wasn't alone.

And thought.

Half-formed sentences and words and images tumbled through my mind as I tried to comprehend everything that'd happened in the past few days. It was so confusing trying to figure everything out, and even though I laid there for a good hour or so, things still weren't any clearer.

Salazar was obviously the most confusing item on the list.

I simply couldn't believe that he'd even look twice at me with any sort of interest other than being an oddity beyond his comprehension. That one night out on the deck, with the stars and the Milky Way above us, I'd been mistaken. I was never good at the best of times at gauging emotions and unspoken things from other people, and that had been a faulty perception on my part. Yet he'd taken care of me during my fever, something he could have easily ordered one of the crew to do. But he hadn't. And that was more than me being just a responsibility. Or was it? But there was a mammoth discrepancy between Salazar, a renowned Spanish Royal Naval captain, and me, a 21st-century desk jockey with an odd taste in music that I just couldn't ignore. It was a gulf that swallowed any sense of self-confidence I might own, and spat out nothing but doubts and mental derailment.

A snarl of frustration rolled through my throat. _I give up. I'm fucking useless at this touchy-feely shit. The only way I get things is if it's laid out flat, in a way I can't mistake it, otherwise I'm just gonna fucking embarrass myself, and since that's never going to happen, what's the point of this? And even if it_ did _happen, I'd only fuck it up, because that's what I do when I feel like anyone cares about me. Fucking sabotage shit so that they leave and I can hate myself some more._

I blew a heavy sigh and turned my thoughts to the impossibility of my current reality. I wondered what the hell I was going to do when we reached dry land. I knew absolutely nothing applicable to this time period, and I was not about to be married off to be a brood mare as what was usually expected from girls even younger than I was.

I'd slit my throat first.

A deep, rolling snarl rattled in my chest and I bared my teeth as I realized the horrors that accompanied my reality. Not only that, but I couldn't trust anyone. Not really. Out here on the ocean, rules were looser and behavior was allowed to slip, but once the _Silent Mary_ docked, the crew, Salazar, all of them would step back and realize just how crazy I seemed.

And I'd be either locked up and declared insane, or tossed aside to find my own way through this alien world.

Suddenly craving space, I lurched upright, away from the broad-shouldered Spaniard hogging the bed, cool air swirling over my flushed skin as I worked myself into a panic. Sliding off the bed, I began to pace, champing my teeth together as possible futures raced through my head, each worst than the last.

I knew these were good men, knew they'd try their best, but I was useless here. I was less than useless, I was a liability. Anywhere I went on land, one strange word or an odd twitch of behavior and someone would cry witch or demon or whatever. Then the authorities would come, and not only was I a stranger, a newcomer, but a woman as well. Women had almost no rights, were regarded as less useful than a hunting dog, and I could just forget about any sort of 'humane treatment'. I read a few of the things done to women that were considered 'helpful for their flights of hysteria'. The procedures, the treatments, the _torture_ of innocent women, simply because they weren't the good little property of their male 'betters'. It was barbaric.

And I was right smack dab in the middle of a time rife with it.

"Ignorant slime," I hissed, drool stringing from my teeth as frustration itched and crawled along my skin. "Fucking trapped in a time ruled by backwards _barbarians_."

A quiet knock interrupted my aggravation at the unfairness of the world. I jerked around to stare at the door. "It's open."

Lesaro opened the door into the sleeping quarters, nodding at me, then moved over to the window and cracked it open, letting in cool, fresh sea-salted air.

I lifted my nose to the breeze and snuffled, clicking in my throat in pleasure as it brushed away my frustrations. Or at least quieted them somewhat.

" _Señorita_ Isabeau, are you alright?"

I swung my attention back to the lieutenant, who was watching me with concern on his face. "I'm…fine."

He raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. " _Lo siento_ , but you do not sound 'fine'."

"I'm as fine as I'm gonna be," I snapped, not wanting to pursue the line of questioning and get myself worked up again. I hated it when I did that. It didn't solve anything, only made things worse, and it was an exhausting toll on my body and mind. I might as well just start crying. I'd get the same useless result.

Both of the man's eyebrows were now peaked, and I started champing air again, not caring what he thought. At this point, what did I have to lose? My life? It was practically forfeit already.

"I found a few items like what you requested. And there's a bath in your cabin as well." Lesaro set a small bundle of cloth on my empty side of Salazar's bed, a wary look on his face from my animalistic behavior.

I slumped with a sigh, then went over to investigate what he'd brought me, slightly amused by the fact that I actually _had_ a side on the captain's bed. _I need_ _to get out of this place, but I_ literally _can't. Ain't that just swell._

Picking up the cloth, I felt my creativity perk its ears as I poked through the small cords of leather, strings of twine, and small pieces of metal I didn't know what they were for, but were about the size of a dime and rough-hewn and worn. They seemed to be coins of some kind. "What are these?"

"Ah, they are…" he gestured, grimacing in frustration when he couldn't think of the English equivalent. "They are…money that is no longer usable."

 _Out of circulation. Got_ _it_. I tested the metal with my fingernail, then figured I could work with this. Attaching them to the leather cord would be a bit of a trick, but I was a smart girl sometimes. I could figure something out. "Thank you, Guillermo."

"If I may," he began hesitantly, then paused and took a breath before continuing, "what had you so upset when I came in?"

Rather than answer right away, I pondered on his question. There were so many things that were making me upset, and as much as I was trying to enjoy the calmness of not having to stress on my job or paying bills or anything like that, I was still stressed. It was just a different flavor.

"Guillermo, what year is it?"

Tilting his head a little, he answered evenly, "'tis 1709. Why do you ask?"

Mentally calculating, anxiety churning in my gut as my suspicions were confirmed, I murmured softly, "Three hundred and nine years…I was close." _And so early in the 18th century...I'd have hoped for it to be closer to the 19th, but of course that'd be too much to ask for._

Cautiously, Lesaro sat down on the bed and eyed me carefully. "Why were you close in regards to three hundred years?"

Twisting around so I could meet his gaze, I asked frankly, "Guillermo, do you think I'm crazy?"

Lesaro turned away to stare unseeingly at the wall, and for the longest moment, I thought he wasn't going to answer. Then he swung back to me and inhaled deeply. "I…I do not know what to think. Mando said you had told him you were from the future and he…thinks that you believe it. But without evidence it is…difficult…"

I looked away with a laugh of dry humor. "I know exactly what you mean. I find that very few things make me angrier than not being believed, especially when the truth is important, but I'm asking people who are from a superstitious time when women are considered lesser simply because they're not male to believe in something that would get me burned at the stake for-"

"This isn't the Dark Ages," Lesaro bit out, "but it is well known that women are the weaker of-"

I bolted upright and snarled at him, my earlier rage snapping back to life. "I'd be _real_ careful about what you say next."

The bared display of teeth made him edge away slightly and his gaze flicked to mine. I held it for a long moment before the discomfort of prolonged eye contact made me look away with a huff, glaring at the floor. "This is so stupid. _Men_ are stupid. You've been in charge of pretty much everything for the longest time, and just look how you've royally fucked everything over. Governments are on the brink of collapse, wars everywhere, countries almost collapsed, the oceans are tainted, corruption and greed rule rampant, and everyone's on the brink of another world war. _Men_ are in charge, and they've done nothing but bicker and backstab and let their petty little squabbles and 'superior' brains and chauvinistic attitudes just make everyone else's lives miserable."

The grievances might've been from the future, but were still relevant, still relatable. I blew a harsh breath, aggravated at the human race. We were so _stupid_ , and we never learned our lessons. Stupid sheep, blindly following because we were too stupid to care otherwise.

Sighing, I flopped backwards onto the bed. "Believe whatever you want to, Guillermo. I'm too tired of trying to prove myself. _I_ know the truth, and I guess that's all that's going to matter."

A few minutes passed, then I felt Lesaro shift his weight closer on the bed, his heavier bulk sliding me towards him. I tensed to stay in place, but he was too heavy and I slid until my side was against his hip. Since I knew he'd done it on purpose, I opened my eyes curiously and saw him looking down at me with a peculiar expression.

"Tell me," he said simply. Nothing else, just those two softly spoken words.

I heaved another sigh and stared up at the ceiling. "I don't know what you want me to tell you. There's no true comparison here. Yes, you have greed and corruption but it's…different. So hard to explain. For me, it's stupid people are raising stupider people, but expanding at a rate that's uncontrollable. There's seven _billion_ people in the world, Guillermo, and there's not enough resources to last at the pace we're consuming them. And it's only going to get worse. We're quickly spiraling towards another world war and there's still places that are uninhabitable from the _last_ one. But none of the _men_ in the position to actually help fix or delay or change things come even close to giving a shit because then it would deprive them of their ever-so-important _money_." I snorted wryly. "As if they can take it to the grave with them."

Abruptly I rubbed my face tiredly. "Sometimes…sometimes I don't even _want_ to go back. There are things that I miss, yes, enough that if I get the opportunity, I'll take it. But you don't understand how different it is here. You have no comparison. It's so calm and quiet, and peaceful, and you can actually hear yourself _think_ …For the first time in a long time, I can remember things with clarity, I can think clearly. I don't feel panicked or stressed, well, I mean I _do_ , but it's not the same kind of stress. Gah, this doesn't make a single bit of sense to you, does it?"

I opened my eyes to see Lesaro watching me with a faint smile, a strange expression on his face. "What?"

"You are an unbelievably fascinating woman, Isabeau. And no, I do not think you're mad. Lost, perhaps, but not mad. I do, however, think that you are going to keep the _capitán_ very busy."

Disgruntled, I opened my mouth and he continued, "And as I said, I cannot deny that you are most undoubtedly not normal, but being from the future, still, is so…"

"Outlandish?" I suggested, relieved that he didn't appear about to continue his earlier tangent. "Wait a minute. Didn't we already have this conversation?"

"Hmm, one similar, I believe. And how would something like traveling through time take place, even if it were possible?"

I shrugged, as lost on that point as he was. "I haven't the slightest clue. I went to bed, thinking everything was normal, and woke up on a pirate ship, locked in a cell. Apparently there was a delay or lag because Lady BeKatt said I appeared on the _Bountiful_ , but I wouldn't wake up. Might because it's physically taxing to adjust to whatever the fuck happened? I wish I had some answers…"

Salazar suddenly shifted with a quiet murmur and I glanced over at him, noting he was still lying quietly. _Please wake up soon…_

"Go have your bath, _señorita_. Eat. The _capitán_ would not be pleased with me if he woke to find you ill again." Lesaro gently nudged my shoulder and I reluctantly pulled myself upright, groaning plaintively at the thought of having to take a bath while we were still rocking with a bit more violence than normal.

"Fine, fine…I'm going. I won't be long." I wasn't really hungry, but I hadn't eaten anything except that small bowl of broth and the few bits Lesaro had brought after I'd woken up. _Oh, goodie, more time to pass before I return back to normal. Yay, joy._

"Have you gotten a chance to eat?" I asked the lieutenant, noticing when he hesitated before opening his mouth. "If you haven't, I don't mind bringing something for you. I really don't."

He closed his mouth and nodded, one corner of his lips quirking up in a small, lopsided smile. "I would appreciate that. _Gracías_."

I quickly glanced away before he could see my cheeks warm at his charming expression and I was once again uncomfortably made aware that the lieutenant was in no way an ugly man. _Oh, mama. I need to get outta here. Call me vain, but being in close quarters with all these men in uniform is not good for my equilibrium. Not that Guillermo can hold a candle to Salazar, but still! Mah poor heart!_

"Anything in particular you want?" I asked, moving to grab the pitcher to refill it, careful not to look in Lesaro's direction until I'd had a chance to compose myself. Ever since I'd been captured in Salazar's arms last night, I kept finding myself getting flustered over even innocuous things involving handsome men.

"Whatever Miguel has already prepared will be fine."

I nodded and slipped out, wary that I was wearing clothes I shouldn't be seen in as I darted down the hallway, more than ready for a bath as I made a beeline for my cabin.

Between the still kind of greasy feel of my skin from being sick to Salazar's overheated exertions, it would be lovely to just soak in hot water for a long while before scrubbing my skin raw. But I didn't have time for that. And it was a lot more difficult to bath on a ship determined to toss a person on their naked ass than one would think.

 _Bath first, then food._

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of ze brain)**

 _Lo siento_ \- (I'm) sorry

 **To help make up for the long wait (which I again apologize for), I had intended to update early Christmas Day, _but_ when I uploaded my draft, I realized the chapter was so long, that I just had to add a little extra to it and I'd have enough to make _two_ chapters. So! Here ya are, part one of two!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Part two of two! And the next chapter is going to be fun, I promise. *grins hugely* Yeah, the next chapter includes a part that was supposed to be in one of these chapters, but things decided they were gonna turn out different. On the upside, it made it big enough to cut into two chapters! I hope everyone had lovely holidays and won't have to go through too much of a recovery period from the excess of food and family in close quarters.**

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A few minutes later, I was soaking happily in warmer water than last time, though I still longed for an actual shower. I didn't want to put on the usual trousers and shirt when I finished, but my underwear were dirty and there was no way in hell I was putting them back on. I grimaced, then shuddered delicately as I slid clean trousers on, cringing as I adjusted to the still-strange feel of the lack of underwear before dropping my glow-in-the-dark shirt over my head, then the cotton shirt on top of it. If all went accordingly, I'd just slip out of them in Salazar's quarters and into my pajama shorts and no one would be the wiser. My pajamas probably needed to be washed desperately, but they didn't smell and I needed as much comfort as I could get right now. Later when I had a moment, I'd try to adjust some of the more ragged clothes into a more familiar style so I could have another pair. I was no pro with a needle and thread, but I knew what to do with it.

Quickly making my way down the galley after almost forgetting my pitcher, Miguel was nowhere in sight, but Jorge was. The cabin boy was scrubbing down several pots, but he immediately dropped them back into soapy water as he bolted to his feet, staring at me with wide eyes.

I swallowed uncomfortably, more than aware that I was probably the closest thing to alien contact that he'd ever experience. I hadn't apologized for scaring him yet either, not that I'd had a chance to. "Do you speak English?"

I knew that despite being Spanish, all of the crew that I'd talked to had had a good grasp of English but I wasn't sure if it applied to the entire crew of the _Mary_ , and I didn't feel like embarrassing myself. But I made a mental note to ask someone about it later for curiosity's sake.

To my relief, Jorge nodded warily, then tensed like he was about to bolt again, face white as a sheet.

 _Damn. He looks like he's seen a ghost. Or pass_ _out._ I lifted the pitcher. "I just need some fresh water and some food. I'm not going to scare you again. I promise."

He didn't budge, only continued to watch me like a deer in headlights.

I sighed in resignation, then carefully made my way around the edge of the room, doing my best not to any move closer towards the spooked cabin boy than necessary. I knew where Miguel kept his stock of fresh water, but I hadn't wanted to panic Jorge more than he already was.

I filled up the water from the storeroom, then turned to leave and saw two bowls sitting on the table, filled with various items of food and an apple next to them. Glancing curiously over at Jorge, he didn't appear to have moved, but I would have heard if Miguel had come through. Absently, I hoped he was just getting some rack time.

I beamed happily at the young man as he carefully edged closer. "Thank you very much. I appreciate it."

He tilted his head, some of the wariness fading from his face, but his face was still bloodless. "You are…welcome."

 _Wow, progress!_ "I haven't had a chance to apologize, but I'm very sorry for scaring you. I shouldn't have done that." I ducked my head awkwardly, now more guilty than ever that I'd given into that urge to scare the everloving crap out of the poor kid, upon seeing how skittish he was now. Then I couldn't help but ask, "Why are you so afraid of me?"

Jorge shifted and glanced at the door and I wished I hadn't asked as he suddenly started looking wary again. " _Mamá_ , she told stories of…witches…"

I nodded slowly in understanding. "So you think I'm a witch?"

The poor kid nervously glanced at the door, probably wondering if he could make a run for it before I turned him into a frog or something.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you. See? Watch." I set the pitcher down next to the food, careful not to move any closer, then scooted backwards until I could hop up on one of the barrels stacked neatly against the wall. "I've got nothing on me but my clothes. Nothing to cast spells with."

Jorge audibly swallowed and managed to stutter out, " _Mamá_ s-said w-w-witches…"

 _Damn. Poor kid can't even finish a sentence._ A thought popped into my head and I brightened. "Okay, let's try this. You trust your captain, right?"

Bewildered at my new tactic, he carefully nodded in agreement.

I bobbed my head at the small win. "He's a smart man, right? _Really_ smart. Do you think he'd let a witch just wander around his ship by herself?"

Jorge paused as he thought this over, uncertainty and faint relief battling on his thin features. "N-n-no…"

"She'd be locked up in the brig. Or tossed over to be fed to the sharks. _Certainly_ not down here helping Miguel in the mess." I quirked my lips in a little grin as Jorge visibly cringed as my point struck home. Then, curious, I asked, "What did your mother say witches looked like?"

To my disbelief, a miniscule grin flickered over the kid's face almost faster than I could blink and for a moment, I thought I'd just imagined it. "Ugly, with warts and rotten teeth!"

 _Huh, I guess the 'ugly, evil witch' trope is really widespread._ "Welp, I don't have any warts that I know of, my teeth are most _definitely_ not rotten, and I don't think I'm ugly, am I?" I gave him my best pitiful puppy-dog look, hoping it would help lower his defenses.

My evil genius worked like a charm. Jorge grinned again, this time the expression sticking around for longer than a microsecond. "You're not ugly, _señora_!"

I grinned back, glad for the switch in temperament. I'd been really dismayed at seeing him freak out so much at the sight of me and now felt a bit better that he was a little more relaxed. "I know I'm probably scary, but I promise I'm harmless." _Well, technically_ that's _a lie._ "Only reason I'd hurt you is if you hurt me first," I amended.

Jorge's eyes widened again. "I would _never_ hurt _la señora_! _El capitán_ would never forgive me!"

"Would you hurt me if I _was_ a witch?" I asked, grateful that Salazar had such a loyal crew. It was another thing I was thankful for, that I didn't have to keep watch at every dark corner.

"But _señora_ said she was not a witch," he mumbled, shuffling uncertainly as he danced around my question.

"No, I'm not a witch." I hopped off the barrel and wished I had some pockets to shove my hands into so I didn't kick myself for sliding backwards in reassuring the poor kid. "I know I seem really strange, but it's just because I'm from really far away. Have you ever met someone from really far away?"

Jorge tilted his head and thought for a moment, then brightened a little. "There was a Chinaman once, in the port. He was very strange."

"You didn't think he was a witch, did you?"

He wrinkled his nose at my logic. "No."

"Okay then. I'm kind of like that man. I only seem so strange because I'm from so far away. If you were to visit where I lived, I wouldn't seem strange at all. _You'd_ be the one that was strange." I giggled to myself as Jorge seemed shocked by that realization.

He blinked a few times as he processed that, then slowly nodded, mouth still slightly agape.

Relieved that now he didn't seem like he was about to bolt at the drop of a hat every time I suddenly appeared, I carefully moved to grab the bowls of food and the pitcher, juggling a little before I got a hold of everything. I'd gotten used to the rocking of the ship, so long as the unexpected swells weren't too large, and felt confident I'd be able to make it back to the captain's quarters without dropping anything.

Twisting around before I left the galley, I shot Jorge a small smile. "It was nice talking with you."

Seeming quite bemused at what had just happened, Jorge only nodded again, still processing my last comment.

I snickered to myself and made my way back to Salazar's cabin, feeling much better now that not only had I apologized to Jorge, but that I'd also hopefully made him realize that I wasn't some demon waiting for an opportune moment to gnaw on his liver.

Lesaro was dozing quietly in the armchair when I returned, coming fully awake with a small snort when I murmured his name. He blinked a few times before focusing on me, then on the bowl of food I held out for him to take. "Ah. _Gracías_."

" _De nada_ ," I replied, moving to check on Salazar again, then when I saw Lesaro jolt with alarm out of the corner of my eye, I glanced over at him and noticed the slightly panicked look on his face. I frowned, perplexed, and ran back over what I'd just said, quickly realizing that people had probably said things in Spanish within earshot that I hadn't been meant to hear. And he was currently freaking out about that. I added with a small smirk, "Don't worry, that's the extent of my knowledge. I can't eavesdrop on your conversations."

He stuttered a few times, then busied himself with his food, apparently not willing to condemn himself by admitting or denying my slight accusation.

I rolled my eyes with a quiet snicker before checking to make sure Salazar hadn't worsened, then digging into my own meal. I still wasn't up to par, as evidenced by the fact that I only ate a third of what was in my bowl. The apple I gave to Lesaro.

"You are still not feeling well?" Lesaro asked, uneasily eyeing what I hadn't eaten.

I shook my head. "I feel fine, except for the aching ribs, but so long as I don't laugh or start coughing, I'm okay. It'll just be a while before my appetite returns to normal."

"What about heavy exertion?" He glanced over at Salazar's innocently still form with a slight frown, probably thinking about all the times I'd helped him shift the captain's heavy form.

"My ribs aren't sore to pressure, it's the muscles that are strained from the coughing. Give me a few days and I'll be fine. It's not my first time feeling this," I explained when he shot me a curious look. "The fever, yes, but the aching ribs, no."

I carefully placed my bowl on the bedstand on my side, then poked at the strings and coins he'd brought me to find a fairly wide piece of leather that would work well as the band. "It was after my grandfather died. I, my mother and my grandmother all came down with some sort of illness that had us coughing for an entire month. I could have sworn I'd cracked a rib by the time it was over. It wasn't pretty."

I looked around, searching for a sharp implement, then wondered if Salazar had a letter opener. Sliding off the bed with a quick "be right back", I trotted out to Salazar's desk and glanced over it, poking through two drawers before I found what I was looking for.

The small dagger would be more than perfect for my purposes and I skipped back to my seat on the bed, hopping up with a graceful movement. Sitting cross-legged, I had busily twisted several holes into the leather strip before I realized that Lesaro was being quiet. Too quiet.

I looked up to see he was staring hard at the wall with an odd, intent expression, like he was consciously trying to ignore something. I tilted my head to the side, trying to figure out what on earth his problem was. "You okay, Guillermo? You look kind of...strange."

"I am well." His clipped, almost strangled tone made me jerk backwards slightly, flexing my ears in discomfort. _Dafuq?_

A little hurt, I picked up one of the coins and fidgeted with it, before beginning to loop one of the strings around it to make it securable to distract myself. Ideally I'd bore a hole through it, but I didn't have the right tools for that. Although it'd be pretty neat to have some of those coins with the holes in them. Those would have been perfect.

Lesaro remained silent for a long moment before finally offering, "I was surprised by…something, is all."

I hummed a noncommittal noise as I tested the knots, his brusqueness already rolling off. I understood people couldn't be pleasant all of the time. Maybe better than most.

He cleared his throat quietly before asking with a slight frown, "Do you…usually wear such garb?"

Shooting him a confused glance, I looked down and saw my thin, black "Come to the Dark Side" shirt blatantly showcased through the thinner white cotton shirt I usually wore around the _Mary_. "No, I only wear that one to bed. It was what I was wearing when…I went to sleep, before all this." I clamped my lips closed as a pang of homesickness sheared through me, then just as quickly was gone. If I didn't think about it, it didn't hurt quite as bad, but I still didn't want to stay here. Not without my music. Not without saying goodbye.

"You must miss home very much," he asked quietly.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment until I was almost sure I wasn't going to start crying, then lifted my head to meet his sympathetic gaze. "More than you might imagine."

"You think I do not miss my own home?" he asked almost bitterly. "It has been too long since I have seen the streets I once wandered, the walls I grew up in-"

"At least you can go back," I snapped. "I don't know if I ever will."

Lesaro jerked back like I'd slapped him and I instantly cringed. "Guillermo, I didn't mean-"

He held up his hand as he stared at me quietly, an odd, understanding expression melting across his face. Carefully reaching out, he clasped one of my suddenly icy hands between his and squeezed, offering nothing but silent comfort.

My lower lip began to tremble and I quickly bit it between my teeth to keep from bursting into tears. _Please let go before I start crying!_

I frantically tried to stem the outburst, but I felt a leak slip out from under my closed lashes. Luckily, it was on the side Lesaro couldn't see, but I suspected he knew all the same.

He let go after a few moments with a last small squeeze, then with a slight nod, quietly quit the room.

I got myself under control shortly after he left. I knew it was bad when I started snapping at people like that, then threatening to break down with just a simple touch.

Picking up the anklet in progress again, I busied myself with concentrating on knots and strings, distracting my thoughts from the turbulence of my emotions.

After a few moments of just me and the feverish captain, a wayward thought clocked me upside the head like a baseball bat. Horror shot through me as I looked down at my chest and realized I'd forgotten my bindings, and my chest was most noticeably _not_ flat. At all.

 _Oh. My. God._ My face flushed beet red in mortification. _Was that what had thrown Guillermo?_

I forcefully tried to convince myself that it hadn't been, but I couldn't stop the sinking suspicious that it'd was.

 _I'll never be able to look at him without turning into a lobster again._

I dropped the leather and buried my face in my hands, groaning miserably. "I…am such…an idiot."

Truth be told, I was hugely self-conscious, and while I hadn't been wearing the bindings yesterday either, both of us had been too busy dealing with Salazar's feverish self to give a shit about anything else.

Shaking myself viciously, I sternly told myself that there was no point in freaking out about it now. Whatever conclusions he'd drawn, I certainly wasn't going to be able to tamper with them. Though thinking now about his odd comment, I now wondered if it'd been because I'd been wearing bindings all the times he'd seen me, then the quite visible change of when I didn't that had surprised him.

Recoiling from that thought like it was a poisonous snake, I firmly focused on the anklet, determined to tune everything else out until it wasn't so embarrassingly fresh in my mind.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of BRAIN)**

 _Gracías -_ Thank you

 _De nada_ \- you're welcome

 **I know even with a sick Spaniard in the bed right beside her, Salazar didn't feature heavily in the last two chapters, but that'll change next chapter. *snickers***


	27. Chapter 27

**First of all, _thank you_ for your wonderful words of kindness and praise. I...I can honestly say that this story has been read by more people than I ever would have _dreamed_ of stumbling upon it. And it just astounds me. So thank you. Thank you so very much. **

**Second, this is another three-part chapter! With lots of fun, intriguing developments between one displaced girl and a certain Spaniard! Hehe, hopefully everyone will enjoy this. I know I did. *smirks***

 **Okiedoke, mah peeps! Onwards and forwards!**

* * *

My head was propped against Salazar's stomach by the time I was able to block the thoughts of Lesaro's reaction from my mind. I was finding myself way too at ease with the unconscious man, but just touching him seemed to keep him calm. Calm was good, so using him as an impromptu pillow wasn't much of a hardship.

A small tug and I finished securely tying my completed anklet, quite pleased with the end result. Had turned out pretty well, if I said so myself.

"There! Whatdya think?" I wiggled my foot experimentally, testing to see if the coins would slide loose.

The little pieces of metal jingled pleasantly when they struck together, reminding me of Salazar's medals clinking when he wore them.

My teeth clenched at the memory of that sound, something I hadn't realized how much I'd missed until I didn't hear it anymore.

 _Come off it. You've known this man for less than two weeks. We don't need to be this fucking attached to him already. Grow up._

And yet, I could feel the suspicion dig its talons deep that I was too attached already, and it would only get worse.

 _Okay then, let's run this down. We reach port and after whatever, he returns to his campaign, in which case our chances of seeing him again are reduced to microscopically slim. To that we add the possibility of eventually being magically returned to the future, once again reducing our chances now to null. So there's zero point in becoming attached._

"If only it were that easy," I muttered sourly, ignoring the sharp pang in my chest and the sickening lurch of dread gathering beneath my ribs.

Shuddering as uneasy chills skittering over my skin, I reached above my head to find a warm, callused hand that dwarfed my own and threaded my fingers through ones far stronger, squeezing tight in an effort to ground myself. Breathing deeply through my nose a few times, I held Salazar's hand for a minute more before I let go, untangling my fingers and sitting up, a little surprised at just how comfy it was to lean against him.

Staring down at his face, still as breathtakingly handsome as the first time I'd seen him, the impact of his appearance not lessening in the slightest, I marveled at the impossibility of everything that happened to lead up to this.

Just the memories that I'd gained from his company alone were astonishing, the moments that I'd experienced with this unique man were more than I'd ever hoped to actually be able to taste in my lifetime. I'd dreamed, yes, but I never anticipated any of those dreams to ever be fulfilled. And few as they were, I now had at least a couple memories of the comfort to be found in a man's arms to keep me company for the lonely years that waited ahead.

"Okay, now we're just getting depressing. And that needs to stop."

Glancing out the window showed it was already getting darker again, but there was more than enough light for me to draw. I grabbed my logbook and pencils and began working on a sketch for a fu dog, which were always tricky, but this one was coming along surprisingly well. I did wonder if it might have been because I'd had Salazar in mind when I'd first started it, then shied away from the thought. _No deepening the attachment!_

My throat still felt a little sore from the sheer amount of talking I'd been doing, so instead of telling him another story, which I actually kind of enjoyed, I resumed using his stomach as a pillow and began to draw, snickering a little at the absurdity of the situation.

All too soon it seemed, my eyes were burning in the effort to stay open. I blinked rapidly and rubbed my face, then figured I might as well go to sleep. Even with the gradual settling of the waves, I wasn't confident enough to have an open flame with the still-high possibility of it being dumped onto something flammable.

I cautiously gave Salazar more water, relieved when he drank more than usual, and felt my face burn when I wiped him down again, careful to avoid directly touching his skin where I could yet still finding myself getting distracted by the corded lines of muscle gracing his form. And unable to control the heated direction of my thoughts, becoming more and more intense the more I tried to resist.

 _We'll be sleeping in the chair, that's for sure…_

Glancing around, I realized I'd forgotten to grab the tooth powder I'd been using that Reíno had managed to scrounge up for me. I'd forgotten it last night, too, and could feel the gross fuzziness on my teeth as a result.

Wrinkling my nose, I poked through the various items close to Salazar's washbasin until I found his tooth powder. _He shouldn't mind terribly if I use some-_

It was at that moment when I realized I was just helping myself to a Spanish Royal Naval captain's personal hygiene items like I had the right. _Good God, I need to get out of here. This is getting dangerous!_

Sidestepping _just_ how comfortable I had become in the captain's private quarters, I quickly rubbed some of the powder on my teeth, shuddering at the nasty, gritty texture and would have gladly sold a kidney for a toothbrush and toothpaste. A hasty gargle and I spat out the disgusting stuff that made me feel like I had sand in my teeth, then rinsed my face off.

Turning around to stare in disgruntlement at the sick Spaniard, I frowned when he started muttering again, thrashing his head from side to side. Steeling myself, I began my practice in self-preservation. _He'll settle down soon. Must remove temptation. And that means not sleeping next to him where he can try to seduce me again._

Reluctantly, I curled up in the armchair, managing to get as relatively comfortable as I could, though it was no silk sheets and warm Spaniard- _Stop it! No more late night wanderings under the stars, no more revealing conversations locked in broom closets, no more getting swept up in powerful, capable arms. No more cuddling and no more provoking temptation! When he wakes up, that'll be the end of it all anyway, and it's only gonna hurt worse if we don't put an end to this now!_

Sighing, I knew I was right, yet it was so hard to resist. And so easy to give in…

Deprived of my touch, Salazar became more and more restless until suddenly he was dangerously close to rolling out of the bed. Quickly darting over to catch him and shove him back the other way, I frowned at the unruly man who refused to cooperate, even when he was unconscious with fever.

"You certainly aren't making this easy on me, you know that, right?" It was maddening, just how tangled he made me feel. And here I was, trying to do the right thing, and he was stubbornly being a butt.

Thrashing harder, he began to struggle to kick off the covers, then when I covered him back up, groaned and twitched furiously in fever dream.

My steeled resolve, my determination to remain firm, my fledgling practice in self-discipline, broke and shattered like fine porcelain at his tortured expression.

"Fine! Fine. Fine, fine, fine. Temperamental even when you're sick as a dog. At this point, why am I even surprised? Don't blame me if this comes back to bite either of us in the ass." I sighed wretchedly in defeat and went around to crawl under the covers, then scooted over to curl into his side, my back against his hot body, his fidgeting instantly calming as I pressed into him. "Now will you go to sleep? At this rate, you won't recover and Lesaro already got enough on his plate and…I'd miss…seeing you…"

Feeling rather idiotic for confessing such things to a man who both couldn't hear me and would probably toss me overboard if he were to wake right this instant, I blew a disgruntled huff and resigned myself to another night of restless sleep. Now complete with overheated bedfellows. I was gonna start sweating here soon…

Surprisingly enough, I drifted off almost immediately, having someone warm against my back a comfort that instantly put me to sleep.

 **xxxxxx**

I was surrounded by warmth, heat that slid along my skin with a strange roughness. Curious, tickling little touches along my neck and shoulder pulled me slowly from a deep sleep, my entire back pressed against something massive and firm, yet pliable and curved around me in an oddly stirring presence.

I couldn't help but stretch, feeling relaxed pleasure in a warm comfort of touch, still half-dreaming as I muzzily felt large, powerful hands gliding sensually across my skin.

They slid upwards along my stomach and I arched in response, glowing embers blooming behind that languid stroke, until they covered my breasts, triggering a bright, sizzling ache that fed the growing heat in my core.

The molten aches spread by burning touches were rapidly dissolving muscles into useless jelly, moist fiery kisses against my skin sapping my strength. I melted against the muscular wall behind me, whimpering as clever fingers deliciously kneaded my breasts, teasing my nipples, then those big hands skimmed down my arms, around my stomach, gliding across my skin, before pulling me tight with one arm, the other taking hold of my waist and slowly rolling me over.

Armando's dark eyes gazed hungrily down at me, burning me alive under his heated, devouring stare.

" _Por favor, mi querida,_ " he panted brokenly, breath scalding my throat as he dipped his head to lay more kisses along my jaw, under my ear, whispering his lips against my cheek. " _Te necesito._ "

His lips pressed against my collarbone, stubble roughly rubbing along my skin with a sensual rasp, and suddenly, warm and wet, his tongue laved along the hard ridge, the languid stroke leaving a damp streak behind and sent tremors rippling through my body. A moan broke through my panting gasps and I couldn't help arching against him, wanting more.

In reward, that silken tongue trailed upwards along the straining cords of my neck, making me whimper and tremble, then strange little noises burst from my lips as teeth scraped delicately into my skin as he left gentle love bites under my jaw. His stubble was an erotic abrasion that made pulses of moist heat throb between my thighs. I felt like I was burning under his very touch.

Mind muddled into useless putty by that hot, wicked mouth against my sensitive skin, I didn't resist as he gently grasped my hand, letting him guide me until he pressed against satin-covered steel that burned my palm at the touch.

 _That_ woke me up.

I literally snapped rigid, heard my spine pop in response as I jolted fully alert, no longer wrapped in the sensual haze of my dream. Except it _wasn't a dream._

 _I was in his arms again, and my hand was pressed against h-his…his-Jesus Christ!_

Frozen stiff in shock, I couldn't move, unable to fully comprehend what I was feeling in my grasp. His hand closed mine around a thick shaft of silken masculinity and completely against my own volition, my fingers squeezed the burning flesh, eliciting a guttural moan from the man sucking an extraordinarily sensitive spot underneath my ear, making internal muscles quake in response, everything tightening with sheer _want_.

" _Sí, por favor, así_."

I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering as an overwhelming tidal wave of arousal swept through me when I felt the physical effect of his desire literally _convulse_ in response to my touch. And felt wetness pool between my legs.

There was no room for fear, no thought for wariness or what-ifs.

Just smoldering heat, a thick layer of lava boiling under my skin as he began to move my hand under his. Dazed with the sheer intensity of the sensations coursing through me, I could only watch in amazement as rigid velvet slid against my palm, fiery heat burning both sides of my hand.

 _It wouldn't take much, just one, little-_

Salazar suddenly began to cough, a harsh, rattling sound that jolted me out of my hypnotized daze, knocking some sense into my lust-filled brain.

Jerking my hand free from his and twisting out of his embrace, I quickly rolled to safe distance before I could fully give into temptation.

Then looked back at my would-be seducer and stopped, stunned. My jaw dropped when I saw just what my hand had been wrapped around.

He was _huge_.

My fingers hadn't even been _close_ to touching. He was that big. And _thick_.

I choked on my tongue and coughed, the thought of what that would feel like _inside_ me making me tremble with unbridled need.

"Well," I wheezed hoarsely, coughing again as I tried unsuccessfully to bring my unruly body under control. "Someone's certainly packing."

He shifted restlessly and I couldn't even manage the simple function of swallowing at the sight of his fully-erect arousal twitching against his stomach, nestled in onyx curls with a trail leading up his torso that would have just peeked out temptingly over his trousers. I was physically unable to tear my eyes away, dimly noting somewhere in the back of my mind that he was uncircumcised. "Holy shit, Armando. Where the hell were you hiding _that_?!"

Gritting my teeth, both in restraint for and against touching him, I pulled the quilt up to hide his erection, guilt-ridden for almost giving into temptation while his breath still rattled sickeningly in his throat. Awkwardness flamed across my face, probably flushing down to my chest as I struggled to compartmentalize that I'd been almost seduced and regain my normal mellow state.

It wasn't working very well.

I'd reach the point where I'd feel somewhat calm and able to handle it, then I'd glance over at Salazar and all sorts of erotic imaginings clamored to the forefront of my mind and send me right back to square one.

With an exasperated groan as the cycle repeated yet again, I buried my face in my hands. "I never should have offered to help!"

Yet even as I said that, I knew that if I'd had the choice, I'd have done the same thing. Not only because Salazar had needed someone to look after him, but also because all the delicious feelings he'd created inside me were so addicting that all I could think about was _more_. And my blush was probably luminescent right now.

But as much as I was beginning to want him to touch me again, I was still a spooked little chicken and I was gonna go sleep in the armchair where it was _safe_.

 _So long as you don't start lying and say you didn't like it!_ sang my inner voice with a smug tone.

 _Shut up. Ain't nobody wanna talk to you,_ I snapped at it, irritated at myself, as well as confused, tired, and tension was thick in my body from unfulfilled arousal.

All out annoyed at this point, which did well for keeping me from getting sucked back to the tempting distraction lying on the bed, I hopped out from underneath the covers and padded over to the armchair. The air was cool against my skin, which might have made me shiver in any other situation, but that erotic inferno had warmed me to the point where I was comfortable and would probably freeze later in the chair once I'd cooled down.

Glancing around, I didn't want to take Salazar's blankets, then brightened suddenly before padding over to open his wardrobe.

I carefully pulled one of his coats off a hanger and wrapped myself in it, sighing blissfully at the familiar smell clinging to the coat. _Perfect._

Willfully ignoring everything wrong with how right this felt, I curled up in the armchair, his coat swallowing me whole and was perfect for using as an impromptu blanket. It wasn't quite as easy to ignore my pent-up desire with my nose buried in the coat collar, but I managed.

Closing my eyes, I quickly began to doze. It was tiring having to look after someone right after you'd just been burning alive with a high-grade fever for days.

And yet, I should have known better.

I'd probably only been asleep a short while, even though it felt longer, when Salazar began to thrash and struggle, causing me to jolt awake, deeply disoriented. I could barely tell which way was up as I almost fell out of the chair, shaking my head as I tried to focus.

Stumbling over to the feverish man, I felt his forehead, relieved that it was cooler, yet worried as to why he was moving so much.

I coaxed him to drink several mouthfuls, finishing the pitcher, which thankfully calmed him a little, then rested my head on his chest to listen to his lungs. There was still a faint crackling noise I didn't like, but it sounded greatly improved since last time. It seemed his fever would break soon. Or at least I hoped it would.

Strong arms clamped around me with quickness that caught me off guard and I gave a startled shriek as Salazar rolled, yanking me into the bed with him. I flailed, thinking that he was about try once more to strain my resistance with his wandering hands and hot kisses, but surprisingly, I didn't feel that hard ridge against my stomach again. Yet even unaroused, I could still feel how thick it was and a helpless shudder rolled through my body at the overpowering thought of what it would feel like inside me.

With me snuggled against that lean, powerful form, one arm wrapped around my shoulders and the other around my waist, clenching me tightly, Salazar heaved a huge sigh and all the restless tension quickly left his body.

"Oh," I said, feeling a bit dumb for not having guessed what he was after. "You just needed a teddy bear. I can do that. Just please don't try to start something again, okay? I really don't think I can take much more of your amorous advances. They're extremely unsettling to my state of mind."

I felt guilty for my skittish behavior, but I knew it wasn't unwarranted. He was very dangerous to a girl's willpower, even unconscious, and it made me tremble just to think of that intensity focused on the object of his affections, whoever it was he kept talking to in his fever dream.

The heat emanating from his body was greatly lessened, making it so that I could be pressed against him with only minimal discomfort. I could certainly sleep through it.

Wiggling to get a little more comfortable and to put my arm somewhere where it wouldn't fall asleep, I slid my other arm over his ribs and tucked my head under his chin. I felt the rasp of his stubble against my skin again and was once more amazed at just how intimate such a sensation was.

I _loved_ this snuggling. It was something I'd always craved, someone to cuddle with, to keep me warm during cold nights, to not feel quite so alone in my bed at night. But it was a wish I'd never told anyone, a dream I kept to myself for fear of shattering even the slightest possibility if I ever told anyone. I always told myself that it was better to sleep alone, I'd have the whole bed to myself, could sleep any way I wanted, didn't have to worry about covers being stolen, wouldn't be irritated by fidgeting or the sound of breathing. I told myself that over and over until the wish had been buried deep under a pile of acceptance, that I'd never know if the feel of being held would be worth the discomfort of having my blankets stolen in the middle of the night, of waking up to morning breath.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Por favor, m_ _i querida_ \- _Please, my dear/darling_

 _Te_ _necesit_ _o_ \- _I need you_

 _Sí, por favor, así_ \- _Yes, please, just like that_


	28. Chapter 28

**Part two of three! Enjoy!**

* * *

Wetness trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away on Salazar's shirt before nuzzling my face into his collarbone, relaxing against him with a blissful sigh.

But now I knew.

This was worth everything.

Pain wrenched in my chest as the thought that this would probably never happen again rose unbidden and screamed in my head, making me curl tighter against Salazar's chest with a small whimper.

"Please don't leave me," I whispered, more tears slipping out from under my lashes as I desperately shoved the thought back under the rock it'd crawled out from, wanting just to enjoy this moment of contentment to the fullest extent.

Salazar shifted, as if in response, and for one heart-stopping instant I thought he'd regained consciousness and had heard me. But he only tucked me closer until every part of my front was plastered to him, all the way down to my ankles.

" _Nunca te voy a dejarte ir_ ," he murmured softly into my ear, hot chills flooding down my back as he pressed his lips into my hair with a quieting kiss.

I still didn't know who he thought I was, and at this point, I didn't care. Whoever she was, he seemed to care about her enough to comfort her, and I was shamefully going to steal it for myself as much as I could. I'd deal with the fallout later.

Whining quietly, I pressed myself closer and thankfully, he shifted his grip so he held me tighter. I could barely breathe, but I didn't care. I was going to take as many memories as I could to keep me company for the rest of my cold, lonely life.

Utterly at bliss for the moment, despite the sense of impending doom, I fell asleep in a place I'd never thought I'd ever be able to experience; held protectively in a man's arms.

 **xxxxxx**

With a sharp inhale, I jerked awake from where I had rolled to sleep against Salazar's chest, the man himself sprawled on his back with one arm still wrapped almost possessively around my waist. I blinked a few times before quickly reaching up and laying a palm against his forehead, almost keeling over with relief at the feel of cool, clammy skin. His fever had broken!

Barely stirring when I extricated myself from underneath his arm, he didn't even twitch as I slid off the bed and did a gleeful little dance, the relief that filled my chest so buoyant that I felt like I could levitate.

There was fresh water in the pitcher, so I wrung out a towel and wiped him down as best I could. He would probably want to take a bath as soon as he got up, but hopefully I was able to clean off the worst of the gross feel of having been bedridden for two days.

Staring down, he was so quiet and unmoving after so much constant fidgeting that I had to remind myself that he was just sleeping, not dead. And it was more than a little scary to see such a vibrant, powerful individual appear so vulnerable. There was also a deep twinge of dismay that with this came the end of my limited taste of cuddling, but I studiously ignored it, along with the heavy dose of guilt for feeling it in the first place.

The worry and fatigue over the past few days, along with the euphoria that he would wake, violently coalesced into a mad impulse to hold him, to reassure myself that he was fine, even though logically I knew he was going to be perfectly healthy in a day or so.

I bit my lip, debating what would happen if I gave into my sudden urge. I glanced at his face, the deep lines of exhaustion, the still faintly raspy sound of his breathing, and shook my head to throw off the wariness. _What was the worst that could happen?_

 _Oh, come_ on _! You spent the past two days sleeping in his arms, don't go getting greedy now! This is_ exactly _what we were trying to prevent!_

"Shut up, self. If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it," I muttered, then decided I wasn't going to get another chance, so I should take advantage of it now.

Carefully, I crept forward, taking care not to wake him, but I doubted he was going to be opening his eyes any time soon. Still, it didn't hurt to be a little cautious.

That annoying voice at the back of my head clamored that this might not be the best of ideas, but I squished it, needing this both for him and for me. After everything I'd been through since my trip down the rabbit hole, I needed to give into this particular longing. I simply didn't possess the willpower to resist it.

Leaning down, I folded myself next to his side and gently slipped my hands along Salazar's ribs, softly resting my cheek against his chest to listen to his heart beat as I carefully hugged the frighteningly still form. The warmth he generated wasn't the feverish heat, but his own normal temperature and I went limp with relief, the last remnants of my worry washed away like blood beneath rain.

I closed my eyes and held him for a brief while, letting myself relax while being soothed by listening to his heartbeat, inhaling his scent, even though it was almost masked by stale sweat and old sickness.

But the acute sense of loss from not being hugged back almost felt like a physical pain. Being trapped in his arms while having to be cuddled was still too strange for me to be completely comfortable with, and it somehow just wasn't the same as being hugged back by someone willingly.

I'd always enjoyed hugs from people I was very close with, but with the recent bout of events, I surprisingly found myself in need of human comfort and I was shamelessly stealing it from Salazar. _I just need a little bit. He won't even notice it's missing._

For someone who was normally very independent, it startled me just how much I needed this, this small gesture that soothed so much, even with the ache of lacking reciprocation. It would've felt a hundred times better if I could have been held in return, but I sincerely doubted that _el Matador del Mar_ was inclined to give hugs when asked.

I felt him twitch underneath me and hurriedly drew back, knowing time was up.

"Thank you. You don't know how much I needed that," I whispered quietly, feeling weird that I had hugged an unconscious man and was feeling better from it. I looked around and quickly started cleaning up the evidence that I had been living in his quarters as best as I could, feeling exhaustion beginning to flood my system. Now that everything was calming down, my own weariness was returning full force, reminding me that two days was not enough to recover from almost succumbing to fever.

Soon as I was done, almost forgetting my logbook and anklet, I staggered out of his rooms and out of his cabin, almost running facefirst into worn-looking Lesaro outside the door.

"He's fine, Guillermo, his fever broke. I was just coming to find you," I hastily told him before he could barge through me to check on Salazar.

Lesaro's face visibly melted with relief and he heaved a sigh. " _Madre de Díos_ , some good news. And we are completely free of the storm as well."

I struggled to hold back a yawn as I propped myself up on the wall, leaning my head tiredly against the sturdy planks. "If he asks, don't tell him it was me taking care of him, please."

Lesaro looked at me with bewilderment. "Why would I do that?"

I gave him a worn-out grin. "Do you really think he'd appreciate knowing a girl had fussed over him like I was his mother for two days straight? Slept in his bed with him? Practically saw him naked? I'd rather not have to deal with that, thanks."

Mouth flattening in disapproval, he reluctantly nodded in agreement. "I don't like it, but I believe you're right. At least for now…and if he asks questions?"

I couldn't hold it back anymore and gave a huge yawn that made my jaw pop. I was exhausted…trying to rest next to a six foot mass of feverish, overly affectionate male was recipe for a pisspoor night of sleep. "I doubt he will. He's been really out of it with fever. Not a moment of lucidity at all. Just let me know if he gets worse or relapses. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed, an _empty_ bed I can hog all to myself." Yet despite my words, the craving to just crawl back into bed and cuddle with one particular Spaniard only grew worse. I was beginning to wonder if it'd been better not to know what it was like to experience that.

"Good night, Isabeau. I will look after him until he wakes." Lesaro smiled widely in relief, the familiar gesture completely changing his usual taciturn look into an open, intensely handsome face. I figured he probably had his share of female admirers as well, and would probably have been the much safer option if I'd had any say in my object of fascination. Unfortunately, Salazar was the one I found myself inexplicably drawn to, much to my dismay. Of _course_ it just _had_ to be the captain. Actually, it didn't even surprise me at this point. After all, Lesaro had said that Salazar wasn't lacking in feminine attention. What was one more to add to his list of conquered hearts?

I nodded at the tired lieutenant with another wide yawn, then staggered down the corridor until I saw the familiar door of my cabin. I let myself in and flopped on the covers, not even bother to undress and bathe or anything. Gross, I knew, but I was way too tired to give a shit.

It seemed unsettlingly empty in my bed, and I felt like I was about to start shivering even though it really wasn't that chilly, so I comforted myself by slipping into warm memories until I finally drifted off.

 **xxxxx**

I woke up on my own, and the faint light cracking through the boarded window indicated it was somewhere around late afternoon, almost twilight. I felt like trash, but catching up on sleep felt nice, even though my bed seemed ridiculously empty without-

 _Don't even!_ I mentally kicked myself straight that I did _not_ need to be dwelling on sleeping with a toasty bed warmer, even though it'd been downright wonderful, and the cuddling and those kisses he'd pressed into my skin still tingled…and what he had hiding under that pristine, daunting uniform…

 _Need to face facts, cuddling with the captain is no longer an option, and the sooner we come to grips with that, the better._

And yet, I couldn't help but recall those words I'd whispered, pleading for him not to leave me. _I never should have said that. It was a slip that_ won't _be repeated._

Because I knew the truth; everyone left in the end.

Giving myself a vicious shake to dispel the morose mood, I stretched my neck, sighing in relief as some tension was abated with lovely cracks, then set about waking up, at least for a little while. There was a clean bath, which I assumed from last night since it was cold, so I took a quick, _very_ quick bath and felt a great deal more refreshed. Aside from shaky weakness still haunting my limbs and the ache in my ribs if I breathed too deeply, I was almost completely back to normal, but the constant up and down of both my emotions and my health was getting annoying.

I honestly felt like doing nothing but sleeping today, and I didn't think anyone would care if I was missing for a few hours. After all, I wasn't one of the crew, just a volunteer. I really didn't even care if there were would be trouble for it later, all I wanted to do was sleep some more.

My pajamas were still miraculously warm, and I'd just snuggled back under the covers when a loud knock banged against the door.

 _Noooo…..I just got comfortable!_ I scowled in aggravation at the door, wondering if I ignored it, they'd go away.

The knock came again, not even remotely sounding tentative. Whoever it was, they knew I was in here.

Rattling a deep sigh, I threw back the covers and scuffled over to the door, once again glad I'd taken the caution to throw the bolt before using the bath. Unlocking it, I peeked out through a crack in the door and saw a fully alert Salazar towering on the other side, accompanied with an ominous air.

I gulped, having a hard time relating this intimidating, polished naval officer with the very sick man I'd been taking care of and had slept next to for the past couple nights. Not to mention things were now tinglingly aware of what was lurking beneath that immaculate exterior, and just what that sheer focus was capable of if it was turned to…other pursuits…

Harshly kicking that thought back under the rug, I stood back and let him in, carefully moving out of his way as he stepped purposefully through the door, yet made no other move.

One had to admire that as ill as he'd been, I'd never know it from the image he presented, the well-kempt uniform, perfectly groomed hair and sideburns, and overall extremely put together. Okay, and it was a little disgusting. Like, I looked like I got run over by a lawnmower even when I wasn't sick. It was just so not fair.

"How can I help you?" I warily asked, positive that whatever triggered this unexpected visit couldn't be anything good. Suddenly, I wished that I'd taken a quick second to at least change out of my pajamas. Glow-in-the-dark shirt and boy shorts left a lot to be desired when he was in full uniform. And of course my brain helpfully supplied the fantasy of being held tightly in his arms so that I couldn't escape as his head slowly lowered-

I jerked out of the fantasy before he could notice my distraction.

Without a hint of expression, Salazar held up his hand, and at first I thought it was empty, then I realized he was holding a hair. It was short, blonde…and one of mine.

"Unless there's someone else aboard my ship with similar hair, I believe this is yours." He let his hand drop and I looked up to see a black scowl settling over his severe features. Uh-oh… "Would you care to explain as to why I found it in my bed?"

It took an effort, but I kept a perfectly straight face as I lied like a rug. "I have absolutely no idea."

It was probably a good idea to learn how to avoid Spanish captains at all costs, especially if I was going to find myself lying to them and failing miserably.

His mouth twisted into a grim smile, the expression somehow menacing as he slowly stalked into my cabin, closing the door quietly behind him with a slight click. And then bolted it.

I knew then that I was royally in trouble.

"I do believe that that is the first time you've outright lied to me, _Señorita_ Revanne," he said in a dangerously silky tone. "And I don't think I much care for it."

I nervously jigged backwards out of range of his reach, knowing it wouldn't do any good since he was between me and the locked door, and I knew he could move a lot faster than he let on.

"I-I really have no idea how it ended up in your bed," I managed with only a small stutter. If I thought he was angry now, how would he be if someone he couldn't stand had taken care of him when he was at his weakest? Had been subjected to whatever fantasies he had of that mystery woman he cared for? That I had taken his affection for her as my own?

Yet instead of exploding into a rage, his eyes flickered with a predatory gleam and he sauntered closer, seeming extremely large and very intimidating. Natural characteristics for him, but he was purposefully using them to his advantage to dominate, to overpower, all while keeping a tight rein on his anger. I was starting to realize I had greatly underestimated _Capitán_ Armando Salazar's control when he was fixated on a target, even while angry.

"Very well. If that is how you wish to continue this."

He stalked towards me, moving with a dangerous intent that took all of my self-control not to tremble with nervous anticipation in response. Unfortunately, I was too distracted by concentrating on that to realize the danger until his hand flashed out and wrapped around my wrist, hauling me forward until I collided with his powerful frame.

All but plastered to his lean chest, I stared up at him in mute astonishment, pretty sure I looked all the world like an idiot, but my brain had shorted out on how to deal with this furious Spaniard. The only other time I'd seen him like this was when I'd told him I was from the future. _Why is he so angry? What the hell did I do?!_

Leaning down, his voice dropped to a dark undertone that sent chills racing over my skin, his eyes holding me unyieldingly in place. "You will tell me the truth, or you won't like the consequences. Now, what were you doing in my quarters?"

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and I shook my head dumbly, unable to summon any sort of intelligent reply. It was like being so close to him had sucked all sentient thought from my brain.

His features grew even darker and his mouth drew into a thin line. "As you wish."

I was yanked along behind him as he strode purposefully towards the door and I immediately panicked, nightmare situations flashing through my mind. I scrabbled at his grasp, trying to twist free, but my irritatingly tiny wrist was completely manacled in his grip, and the sheer size of his hand made that I couldn't break loose.

Now completely freaking out, I quickly blurted, "I took care of you while you were sick! Please don't-!"

I snapped my mouth shut and shivered when he abruptly halted, warning chills racing over the back of my neck at his quick, angry movement.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of nettacartwright)**

 _Nunca te voy a dejarte ir - I'm never going to let you go._

 **Oh, boy...he ain't happy...**

 **Poor Isabeau! She was just trying to help!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry, but this is the last part! I honestly don't know when I'll update next, as I'll be returning to work soon and the next part isn't even close to being finished, but here's hoping it won't be too long! In the meantime, enjoy. :)**

 **Warning: spoilers for the ending of the Last of Us.**

* * *

Slowly turning around to face me, his eyes narrowed in anger, he pierced me with a fiercely discerning look. "Well, now…that is interesting. Especially since my lieutenant informed me that _he_ was the one who saw to my health."

"I asked him to say that," I said with a defeated sigh, finally twisting free of his loosened grasp and shuffling backwards to plop down on my bed in a defeated slump. Whatever, cat was out of the bag now. "I didn't want you to be angry with me. Well, angrier, anyway. I figured that you would be fairly upset if someone who frustrated you beyond belief was taking care of you while you were sick as a dog. So I asked him to say he'd taken care of you. And hoped you'd never find out."

I could feel that intimidating gaze on me, but I didn't look up. Couldn't look up. I just wanted to get whatever reprimand he had planned for me out of the way. After all, no good deed went unpunished.

Silence filled the room to uncomfortable limits and I fidgeted, wondering what he was waiting for.

"…it is not frustration you make me feel."

My head jerked, and I sneaked a glance underneath my lashes to see if I had heard right. He had said it so quietly…

But Salazar wasn't looking at me, he was scowling at the wall. Maybe I hadn't heard him right after all. My brief flare of hope sank to the floor. Probably just hearing things.

Then he looked back at me before I could glance away and my breath caught. A faint glimmer flickered in his dark eyes, a hint of something almost…

He blinked and it vanished, leaving me wondering what on earth he'd been thinking to cause that odd look. His scowl lessened as he cleared his throat and said clearly, "You need not be afraid that I will harm you. I'm not a complete monster as to punish you for tending to the infirm." His face twisted into a self-deprecating smirk.

"You're not a monster at all!" I exclaimed vehemently, then clapped a hand over my mouth, surprised by the force of my denial, especially considering that he'd just threatened me with...what, exactly?

He blinked, a little stunned at my outburst as well, and then his severe features softened slightly. "That is…kind of you to say."

"But no less true," I replied quietly, glancing to the side as I felt my cheeks warm, still trying to figure out if he'd actually spelled out what he was going to do or just implied something severe. And why that seemed an important distinction. "What...what were you intending to do if...I didn't tell you the truth?"

The captain's face hardened into a stony appearance, all traces of softness vanishing. "I do not owe answers I see no reason to give."

Caught off guard by the almost menacing harshness of his voice, I jerked backwards, recoiling from the abrupt change in his demeanor.

He was quiet for a brief moment, then cleared his throat again, his voice returned to its normal brusque tone. "I trust nothing… nefarious happened during your tending?"

My face immediately flamed. All the way from the tips of my ears to my collarbone.

 _Oooh, mama. If only you knew_ , I thought to myself. Out loud, desperately trying to control the burning of my thoughts, I only said, "Nope, you were too feverish to do anything more than sleep."

By the narrowing of his eyes, I knew he saw the intensity my blush, knew he didn't believe me, but there was no way in hell he was going to pry it out of me. He could try his worst.

My burning face was as much of a blank slate as I could manage, a portrayal of complete innocence, while my mind traitorously whirled the memory of being captive in his arms round and round in my head. Those powerful hands gliding across my skin. The feel of that sensual mouth against my throat. And just what I'd felt against my stomach, felt in my hand- _Thank you, brain! You can go find a wall to beat against now!_

Stepping closer, Salazar crossed his arms, focusing on making me crack under the sheer force of his dominating will. "And yet, I have the feeling you're keeping something from me."

The sheer intimidation of the man, from his full uniform, the menacing rapier strapped to his hip, the overwhelming magnetism of his dark features, almost made me give in. Just barely hanging on by a thread, I managed to keep it together.

But I couldn't meet his gaze as I swallowed thickly, vivid images of everything I _wasn't_ saying parading across my mind's eye. Trying to knock him off balance, to distract him, I nonchalantly tossed out, "Did you know you cuddle in your sleep?"

The choking sound he made, along with his suddenly wide eyes, said I'd succeeded perfectly. " _¿Yo..._ _Q_ _ue?_ "

My triumphant grin slowly faded as other thoughts slipped into the clamoring whirl and I added quietly, "It…was scary. I never thought I'd say this, but…seeing you like that, when you were so sick I could feel the heat burning from you without even touching your skin, and then when you were so still after your fever broke…it scared me, and I don't know why. I knew you would wake up, but I couldn't stop worrying..."

 _Why did I tell him that?_ I didn't know, and I wasn't sure if I was glad I had or not. Especially after that little terrorizing he'd put me through just now.

He was silent for a long minute, gazing at me with a slightly unfocused look, like he was lost in thought. I wasn't quite sure what to make of his behavior, especially after my little confession, but I found it strangely more unsettling than him ranting and angry.

I warily rose to my feet and was contemplating trying to sneak past him when he shook himself a little and stepped closer, not only blocking off any attempts of escape, but moving near enough that I could feel my skin warming from his proximity. Could smell his scent as it wafted around me.

I craned my neck to see him still staring down at me that intense focus, his brow furrowed in frustration, as if I was a problem he needed to solve, but didn't know how to begin. I pulled back a little, confused as to what he was after, why he was so close. "Uhm, what are you doing?"

"I apologize for frightening you just now. I was…upset, to learn that you had tended to me while I was ill," Salazar paused, appearing caught in some internal struggle. "I have been…violent in the past when I suffer from fevers, and the thought that I might have caused you harm, especially when you haven't recovered from your own illness…"

 _Welp, violence had certainly been the_ least _of my concerns. For the most part, anyway._

"And I did not mean to cause you concern where none was warranted."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that," I replied with a worried glance over his seemingly fit self, noting he still looked exhausted, could see the dark marks under his eyes now that I was paying attention. "You were sick enough that I'm not so sure you should even be out of bed. Actually, _how_ are you out of bed?"

"I have always been quick to recover from illnesses. My lapses are usually short, though quite vicious," he murmured, still focused on me with that unnerving concentration. His tall form abruptly wavered slightly and I cautiously stepped back, uneasy and unsure of what he was going to do.

The movement seemed to snap him out of his silent debate and his hands shot out, one slipping around my shoulders, the other around my waist, and he yanked, startling me into a squeak as I was roughly hauled up against his strong body again, this time with my feet clearing the floor.

I flinched at the unexpected contact of his solid torso against mine, especially surprising since he'd been practically breathing fire just a moment ago. Too stunned to struggle, my body instinctively stiffened while I tried to comprehend just what was happening. My arms automatically started to slip around him before I remembered that this was an intimidating, renowned Spanish naval captain I was about to hug and tried to pull away.

 _El_ _Matador del Mar_ wouldn't let me balk from him, wouldn't let me recoil from his embrace. He slid one big hand up to the back of my head and tucked my face into the nook where his throat met his shoulder, dipping his head to rest his cheek against my temple, holding me up by the sheer strength of the steely arm wrapped tightly around my lower back.

I kept stock-still, not knowing how to react to this abrupt change of heart, and more than a little overwhelmed at being enveloped by his willing embrace. Not sure how I felt at being completely held off the floor by powerful arms. It made me very aware of just how physically formidable he was. And not five minutes ago I would have sworn he'd dump me over the side of his ship without a second glance. So what was I supposed to do now? And what'd brought on this mood swing?

His scent swept through my brain in dizzying waves and I realized this was the strongest I'd ever smelled it. That delicious spice, the sharp, rich, intoxicating fragrance I was no longer so sure was a cologne but instead was purely _him._ It made me want to press my mouth against his jaw, my tongue against his skin, to see if he tasted like he smelled. Just barely, I managed to withstand that mad impulse, yet I couldn't stop from nuzzling closer.

Warmth began seeping into me and I realized that my arms were creeping around Salazar's waist again, sliding under his heavy coat without my permission, and I hastily withdrew. He made a shushing noise and tucked me tighter against him in response to my recoiling, offering unconditional comfort.

Caution whispered at the back of my mind, but that drugging warmth wore down my conflicting desires, coaxing me to give in. Unable to resist anymore, I tentatively surrendered to the urge to bask in this feeling of a warm, tight hug, of being held safely, protected in his unyielding embrace. My hands clenched in his waistcoat and I held on tight, tremors quaking through my body as I openly took everything he gave in this once in a lifetime opportunity. A whimper whispered from my throat before I could squeeze it back and I prayed he hadn't heard it.

Murmuring softly in his native tongue, Salazar held me until I finally relaxed, burying my face against his shoulder with a deep sigh, savoring the moment, listening to his heartbeat. I could feel the smoothness of his cheek against my temple, an oddly intimate feeling, almost familiar, yet I couldn't recall having ever felt something like it before my time aboard the _Mary_. That wicked desire to press my lips to that strong jaw increased, making my resolve creak under the pressure.

I wasn't even sure for how long we stood like that, him all but holding me up as I practically melted in his arms. Maybe only five minutes, maybe twenty. He supported my weight with no effort, nothing held back from his embrace, and it made me wonder if I wasn't the only one who needed a hug after the past events. It was sometimes hard to remember that someone who was as guarded and elevated as a Spanish captain were still only human. We weren't built to forever take strain and stress without some form of support once in a while, no matter how strong we claimed to be.

Eventually, I tried to slowly draw back, unsure as to how long he would have been willing to hold me and not wanting to push him past his limits. But he refused to release me, tucking me further into his chest as his warmth soaked into my bones, making me melt against him.

Being held like this seemed even more intoxicating, more potent than when he'd been trying to seduce me in his fever. Salazar awake and conscious while hugging me made it a headier sensation, a drugging banquet to the senses, compared to feeling like I was just a hallucination to him. And even though I knew I should let go, pull away, I couldn't do it. My muscles simply refused to move in a direction that would be considered retreat.

So I slid my arms back around his waist, clenching fistfuls of his waistcoat, immersing myself in this moment of comfort, protection, his scent, the sturdy feel of his well-built frame. I held on tight, reveling in the sensation as our breathing gradually slowed until his rhythm matched mine, could feel our heartbeats gentle to the same pulse.

And still the combined strength of his arms kept me safe in his embrace, kept me locked against him.

My tension eased as contentment unfurled inside my chest, spreading outwards until I would have been happy to stay like this, in his arms, for the rest of my life. The almost-constant sense of panic was washed away by the warm bliss soaking into my skin from the firm heat I was plastered to, the continuously racing thoughts calmed to a gentle murmur by the press of his face into my hair.

And yet, like all things, it had to come to an end.

Slowly, hesitantly, he relinquished his hold, gradually loosening his arms until I was able to slide almost languidly down his muscular chest, a sensation that sent tingles racing over my back and to secret places deep inside. A sensation I wouldn't mind repeating.

Salazar seemed almost reluctant to completely let go of me, but he withdrew his arms, clasping his hands behind him as if he had to physically stop himself from reaching for me again. He stepped back and straightened in one smooth motion before bending slightly to search my face for a brief moment, his eyes flickering with a calm light.

I tilted my head and stared back at him, not quite sure how to process this, even though I felt more at peace than I could recall feeling in a long time. _That was different, but I enjoyed it._ Really _enjoyed it. I want another one!_

Unexpectedly, he gave me a small, somewhat disquieting smile.

"You took liberties with my person," he remarked casually, the easiness in his manner offset by the sudden unsettling glimmer in his gaze, one that made not-unpleasant shivers tickle across the back of my neck. "What happened to Ellie?"

It took a long minute for his words to sink in. When it finally did, all sense of ease vanished as my stomach immediately hurtled to the floor. I choked on my gasp and stumbled backwards, gaping at him in horror as I fully processed that damning question. "W-w-what?"

"You didn't finish your story. What happened to Ellie?"

My mouth gaped open for a long minute before I finally found my tongue somewhere at the back of my throat. "J-Joel found out that they were going to cut open her brain and killed all of the Fireflies to save her instead. And they kept searching for a different way to get a cure. Y-y-you were awake?" I stuttered, starting to panic. _Ohmygod. If he'd been awake, then…_

"Very interesting." He remained bent at the waist, only watching me with that crooked little smile that rapidly turned more wicked the longer he stared at me. "My embrace was everything you needed, no?"

My face instantly flushed and I sputtered indignantly. Not only had he been awake, he'd been playing dead to boot! "If you were awake, what the fuck was with scaring the everloving _shit_ out of me just now?!"

He shrugged, still with that infuriating, wicked smile. "I wanted to see if you would admit to having taken care of me, having been in my bed."

"Y-you-you- I can't, I can't even- fucking get _out_!" I yelled, steaming both from mortification and fury. I absolutely couldn't _believe_ he'd done that!

The bastard had the audacity to full out grin at me as I stalked over, curses spewing from my lips as I pointedly ignored the butterflies the sight of his grin kicked into my stomach, and wrenched open the door, indicating for him to take his fucking slick dog of a self out!

Before stepping through the doorway, he paused in front of me, smiling broadly even as I bared sharp teeth at him and hissed in affronted rage.

Leaning down, he reached up and tapped me on the nose, flicking his finger out of the way as teeth closed on the air where it'd been with a sharp snap. He clicked his tongue in amused admonishment. "Now, now, there's no need for that. After all, we wouldn't want to put all of your hard efforts to waste, hm?"

"If you weren't the captain, I'd definitely be returning you to that sickbed, _expediently_ ," I snapped hotly, actually considering kicking him in the kneecap and damn the consequences.

An arrogant smirk slowly slid across that mesmerizing mouth in response to my insolence. "But as I am the _c_ _apítan,_ I must give my thanks for your attentive, tender care during my ill health, no?"

That smirk took on a dangerously predatory slant as he took hold of my hand and quickly brought it to his lips, pressing a hot, moist kiss to the back of my hand that lasted longer than a brief, cursory brush. Quite a bit longer. My breath stuttered to a halt as I felt a brief flick of tongue against my skin, a tiny, intimate lick before I managed to wrench my senses back into focus and snatched my hand free of his grip, my anger instantly doused and now I was being swamped by aching little throbs instead.

He let me pull free because he felt like it. I knew it, and he knew I knew it.

I scowled in aggravation that the maddening Spaniard could flip my emotions to such extremes with just a touch.

Blasted smirk widening, he unhurriedly sauntered past me and I quickly slammed the door shut soon as his boot heels cleared the doorway, bolting it with an audible click. I heard a bark of laughter and then the asshat dared to continue chuckling as he went about his way.

I leaned back against the door, trembling not with rage, but with having my world skewed on its axis and all the continents scrambled into new positions.

 _What. Just happened._

If…if I didn't know any better, I'd have said that Armando Salazar, _el Matador del Mar_ , notorious 18th century Spanish Royal Naval captain had been looking at me…

With interest.

And not the "what the fuck are _you_ " kind of interest, but the kind that sent hot tingles to places they had no business being at the feel of a hungry wolf watching you, waiting for the first opportunity to pounce and devour, to taste you with a dark hunger that would inflame and consume.

The kind of interest that I'd told Lesaro in no uncertain terms was a complete impossibility.

With a slight jolt, I realized I was clutching the hand he'd kissed to my chest and hurriedly dropped it into my lap, but the damage was already done. I blew out a ragged breath and slowly slid down the door to sit on the floor, staring blankly in front of me at nothing.

What...was I going to do now?

* * *

 **Oh, that was _fun._ And I've been waiting for it for sooo long... *grins* Poor Isabeau has _no_ idea what she's up against...**


	30. Chapter 30

**Heyo, mah peeps! Got a coupla things to touch on and then we'll get to the good stuff. First of all, thank you, thank you, _thank you_ for your reviews! I know I don't respond like I should and I apologize for that, but I assure you, it wouldn't be much I could say that wasn't tearful blubbering. So thank you again.**

 **Next, I know a lot of you want Salazar POV chapters, and to be honest, I kinda want some too. So I'll make you guys a deal. I have _some_ written from Salazar's POV, _but_ I am going to post it at the very end of the story. For a few reasons. First and foremost being I want to tell the story from solely Isabeau's viewpoint, and I'm really nervous about writing Salazar because he's a difficult character to aptly write and I feel uncomfortable with that much pressure.**

 **Now for the ugly. I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to update. So very sorry. I promise you, there's much more written, but there's huge gaps in between parts that I have to fill in. But right now, I have so much stress going on in life right now that it's making me physically ill. And I have no idea how to fix it. But I _am_ still working on Out of Place when I need a break from work or when I have two extra seconds. So don't worry, we'll get there! One day. **

**Alrighty, enough whining on my part, time to get to the main event!**

* * *

In the end, I decided to do nothing.

The next morning I went through my wake-up routine in a reflective daze, barely noticing my surroundings. I'd slept terribly, my brain haunting me with replays until I felt like screaming and cracking my head against the wall just to get some quiet peace. All because of that maddening Spaniard.

I was confused. Every single thought I had was jumbled, disordered, chaotic. Like my mind was trapped in a tornado with any semblance of clarification being sucked away with enough force to lift a tractor trailer.

This entire situation was spiraling beyond anything I knew how to handle, anything I'd experienced. Not just with the whole time-travel and being captured by pirates, but being aboard the _Silent Mary_ was quickly becoming something that uncomfortably resembled one of those overblown, trashy dime novels. Girl meets dark, brooding hero, add one generous pinch of adventure, girl falls for hero, but his dark, brooding past makes it so that they can never be together.

I burst into giggles at my own fanciful stupidity. What was this, a gothic romance?

"It's official. I've read way too many historical romances," I said out loud. "It's gonna be horror and science fiction from here on out."

But even as I joked to myself, I knew that Salazar was dangerous. Not just in the physical sense, but in the emotional as well. If I wasn't careful, before I even knew it, I'd find myself becoming attached to someone that I in no way, shape, or form needed to be attached to.

Unsolicited, the tactile memories of those big, capable hands sliding roughly along my skin slipped past my barriers and I shifted tensely, straining my neck to pop a couple of cracks.

"No, we're not gonna think about that-"

Too late. One by one, the memories slid through my brain, startlingly vivid with barely faded edges. It surprised me at how well I remembered the heavy weight pressed into me, the slide of powerful limbs against mine. The slick friction of a wicked tongue, the burning of hot kisses placed on my skin.

I quickly sat on the bed and pulled my legs up, tucking my face into my knees. I tried to drown out the thoughts, tried to think of anything else, but the memories insisted on being replayed over and over, wearing a rut into my skull.

When I'd wanted to get rid of my anxiety-triggering worries, this wasn't what I'd intended for them to be replaced with.

Yet I couldn't help but feel an itch for more. More kisses, more touches, more stroking and the heavy weight of a masculine body against mine.

 _Oh my god, I've become addicted_. Alarm lanced through me and I redoubled my efforts to think about something else. Anything else.

 _We can think about what it's going to be like when we get to shore_ , that little voice supplied helpfully.

My thoughts shied away from that clusterfuck and quickly dived back into the erotic memories.

Yet there was also his behavior from yesterday to consider. He'd been awake during some of his fever, that much was clear. But it hadn't seemed like he remembered a lot of it. Would he remember the rest of it? Just how much had he retained?

Unease shimmered down my spine at the thought that he'd become aware of just how much I'd spent my time curled next to his side to keep him company.

But also there'd been that hug. No, that hadn't been a hug. That was too tame a word. That had been…a release. A release of tension, replaced with comfort and warmth and bliss. Just thinking about it made me involuntarily relax.

And yet...

I wasn't nearly confident enough to ask a man like Salazar personal, intimate questions like 'how, exactly, do you feel about me?' and I was too oblivious to read subtle hints and expressional language. Plus there was the small hiccup that he had someone else he already cared for, which automatically made him off limits. I didn't poach on other people's territory. I just wasn't made that way.

Hence the confusion. And my decision to do nothing in response to his strange behavior yesterday.

Which meant no more moments of being overly familiar between me and the captain.

So when a brusque knock sounded on the door, I squared my shoulders and tucked all feelings of excited anticipation under a nice big rock and left them there. All there was to it.

It worked until I saw Salazar waiting for me to open the door I'd slammed behind him the last night, and the warm smile that spread across his face, as if he was genuinely pleased to see me again.

And all those stupid little feelings exploded out from under the rock to dance the Macarena in my stomach.

"Hello, Captain." I was unable to resist smiling back, surprised to see him so early in my 'morning'. Sleeping during the morning and working in the evening was really wonderful, allowing me to revert to my natural cycle of a night owl.

Salazar bowed slightly in acknowledgement of my greeting. " _Teniente_ Lesaro asked if you are feeling well enough to return to assisting him."

My ribs were still killing me if I breathed too hard, I hadn't slept barely at all last night and now felt nauseous from exhaustion, and just being in the presence of this man was tying every single thought into a knot. Totally ready to get out of my cabin.

"Sure, let me just get my boots on." I moved out of his way so he could come in, my anklet chiming gently as I walked over to my bed. I still went barefoot most of the time, but tried to be a _little_ bit proper for Lesaro's sake.

Unbidden, my skin tingled with the most improper memory of a warm tongue leaving moist trails of fire along my neck-

Viciously shaking my head, I turned around to sit and noticed Salazar was staring at my ankle curiously. "Where did you get that?"

I grinned up at him as I untied it and held it out for him to inspect. "Made it while I was looking after you. Quite pleased with it, actually."

He took it, frowning thoughtfully as he studied my handiwork. "You…made this?"

I nodded, rolling down the pant legs. I actually found the trousers to be quite comfortable. They'd been washed and worn a few too many times, but were now nice and soft as a result. "I've always liked anklets, and I needed something to keep my mind busy. I know my knots probably don't meet to your standard, but they're holding for now."

He made a small noise as he inspected the way I'd managed to secure the coins to the leather band, testing the way they bounced together and chimed. "You've done excellent work."

I struggled to ignore the small bloom of pride in my chest at his words. It wasn't working. "Thank you."

Carefully setting it down on the dresser, he perused over the cabin while I struggled to get the almost too tight boots on, trying not to get distracted by his tall, proud frame. _Is it just me or is the room smaller than usual? Doesn't seem like it's big enough with him in here._

I couldn't help but be relieved that the wicked smirk he'd worn last night wasn't anywhere to be seen. Instead, his features were arranged in the familiar severe expression, his form held with his usual ease and confidence. Not a predatory prowl in sight. I could almost convince myself that him kissing my hand with that wolfish look had all been in my head, but my skin still felt the warmth of his lips.

There was something seriously wrong with me.

Stopping next to the small table Reíno had put in for me to use for my logbook, Salazar flipped open the cover and began thumbing through the pages.

I stiffened, keeping a sharp eye on how close he got to the back of the book. The fantasies I'd been writing in there had only gotten steamier, and even though I'd only mentioned my name, there was still enough description that he could easily figure out who the fantasy lover was.

To my relief, he stopped at the fu dog I'd been working on while he was sick. "A fu lion?"

His fascinated tone of voice made me pause putting on the other boot. "Yes…"

Salazar's eyes were fixated on the page as he picked up the logbook, moving closer to the lamp on the dresser. I moved it from the dresser to the desk, depending on where I was at the moment. The boarded window made it extremely difficult for enough light to shine through to see by, but I had good night vision so I could make do. I'd lit it this time because I'd wanted to see how shaggy I was getting.

Salazar traced my pencil lines with a light finger. "This is quite impressive. How long will it take you to finish?"

I mentally calculated. I'd finished the basic body, the mane, some of the tail. I was working on finishing the fur details and the harness at the moment, along with finalizing the other details. "Probably sometime tomorrow, maybe. Why?"

He shook his head and didn't answer, continuing to stare at the drawing.

I tilted my head and watched him with a slight smile. It was actually kind of…cute, seeing him like this. _Cute? Wtf?_ _This man is_ anything _but cute. Hot, handsome, sexy, most definitely, but 'cute' is a fluffy puppy. And he ain't anything remotely close to a puppy._ "Can you draw?"

"I can manage a…decent portrait, given enough time," he replied absently, closing the logbook and setting it back down on the table.

 _Huh. Explains the drawing pencils he gave me._ I yanked my boot all the way on and hopped to my feet.

Between the pain in my ribs and the exhaustion, I was kind of tired of the universe kicking me while I was down. Add a large dose of one singularly confusing Spaniard into the mix was not pretty, especially when not left at room temperature as per instructions. "Ready."

Salazar's mouth quirked as his gaze scanned over my form before he nodded in approval. "There is going to be a gathering tonight, after the second shift. Most of the crew will be in attendance, taking the time to tell stories and practice…singing. You are welcome to come if you wish. I would actually suggest that you join."

I shot him a doubtful look at his obvious pause. "Less singing, more caterwauling?"

He huffed with amusement. "Indeed. Some of them only think they can sing, and I could order them to stop, but I find it much more amusing to watch the reactions of those that have an ear for music."

I looked at him, unable to help a small grin. There were few fates worse than someone with a musical ear being forced to listen to someone who didn't. "You've got a twisted sense of humor, don't you?"

A slight smile was all I got in reply as he tilted his head towards the door.

Shaking my head, I followed when he pivoted and opened the door for me, motioning for me to precede him. Sucking in a quick breath, I held it as I passed him, not wanting to inhale that spicy scent at such close range after my resolution to stop finding myself in close situations with the man.

He closed the door behind him and fell into step with me as I made my way to Lesaro's cabin.

"How do you feel?" The lilting Spanish tone danced over my skin like rivulets of water.

I shrugged a little, trying once again to ignore what this particular male was doing to my insides. "Ribs are bruised, it hurts to breathe deeply, don't make me laugh and I'll be alright. Still don't have quite all my energy back though. I keep getting tired very easily."

Glancing up, I saw the muscles in his jaw twitch. "I would suspect so. You were affected with a high fever for almost four days. If you had been any weaker, it might very well have killed you."

A cold chill tickled down my spine and I swallowed as I tried very hard not to think about that. "Well, I'm still here to drive you crazy, so that's good, right?"

Salazar blew a small snort through his nose but otherwise ignored my attempt at lightening the suddenly grim mood. "And then you had to take care of a sick man as soon as you awoke-"

"Alright. I'ma stop you right there, Captain." I jerked to a halt, almost shoving my nose into Salazar's chest when he did the same and twisted towards me in the same motion. I quickly stepped back so I could look into his face without feeling my neck crick. "You didn't go out and get sick on purpose, and I could have left of my own free will at any time. I didn't. I _chose_ to help you, and it's not like you were in a position to refuse or order me to do otherwise. So if you really want to blame someone, blame me for wanting to help. Not yourself."

Dark eyes pinned me to the spot as he contemplated my words. I mulishly stared back, a distant part of my mind still unable to tell if his eyes were black or dark brown. The lanterns in the corridor didn't provide enough light for me to make it out.

Finally, he relaxed slightly and gave a faint nod. "You make a good point. I shall strive to keep that in mind."

Figuring that was as much as he would relent, I started walking again, hearing Salazar pause for a moment before following.

The silence was uncomfortably thick the rest of the way to Lesaro's office. Tension thrummed heavily through my muscles, a direct correlation with the unsettling memories from my short time spent in Salazar's quarters and the awareness of the man himself prowling next to me.

I had to concentrate not to lose myself in my thoughts and breathed a sigh of relief upon recognizing the corridor. Spying the familiar doorway, I quickened my pace, Salazar easily adjusting to keep up with his longer legs.

But I had to be honest with myself. It wasn't Salazar himself that I was trying to escape from, not completely, but the strange things that whirled around in my brain in response to his presence. _Need to leave, overly familiar. Too close!_

Just as I raised my hand to politely knock, Salazar held out his hand to halt my movement. " _Un momento_."

I looked up at him in confusion.

He shifted his weight off of one leg, the leg that bore his scar, if I recalled correctly. "I still have some questions for you, for later."

"You mean almost dying doesn't get me off the hook from being interrogated?" I quipped, wondering how badly his leg pained him. I might be able to help, but I highly doubted he'd let me.

He huffed and gave a wry smile. "Only a short reprieve. I would like to talk with you tomorrow at dinner, if that is acceptable."

This time, his tone lacked the commanding steel of authority.

The apparent option to decline surprised me. Before, he'd always been ruthless in order to get his answers. Even last night, he'd been menacing and relentless. But this time, he was giving me a choice. Only in regards to _when_ I'd be interrogated, but still…

"I don't see any reason why not," I said after a moment, still trying to adjust to the leniency I'd been granted. It wasn't much, but I appreciated it.

Salazar shifted again, this time with a flash of discomfort across his face. "I…I am grateful for you tending to me while I was ill. I thank you."

I blinked, surprised. "…you're welcome."

 _He must not remember his fever dreams, otherwise I'm pretty sure things would be a lot more awkward_.

Knocking lightly on Lesaro's door, I opened it at the lieutenant's command to enter and slipped in, my back tingling from Salazar's body heat as he followed.

"Mornin'!" I greeted with a bright smile, happy to see the one-eyed Spaniard, even with my face involuntarily warming from the embarrassment of the other day. I was back to using my bindings, and I struggled hard to ignore my irritating self-consciousness. I would never mention that event and Lesaro hadn't said anything, so I figured it'd be best to pretend it never happened.

"Good morn, _Señorita_ Revanne," Lesaro returned, his face creasing into a warm smile. He gestured to another enormous stack of letters sitting haphazardly in the spot he'd set aside for me. "Sort those, if you will."

I threw him a disgusted look, but he knew I was only teasing and snapped his fingers at me with mock impatience. I blew a raspberry in response, then trotted over to begin eagerly sorting the letters. We'd reached a level of familiarity where I could be a little more open with the lieutenant and he put up with my insubordinate attitude with a tolerant air, sometimes even ribbing back. I was, after all, a volunteer. I could be a brat if I wanted, but I worked hard for him in return.

Behind me, I could hear the two Spaniards quietly talking to each other, but they stuck to their native language and I flexed my ears back in mild annoyance at not being able to understand them.

" _How is she, Capitán_?"

" _She says she is in some pain, but as long as she doesn't push her limits, she can ignore it. Don't let her overexert herself_."

" _Easier to say. It is remarkable how alike the two of you are when you're being stubborn._ "

" _Hmph. I see you two are becoming comfortable with each other._ "

" _She is fun to tease. You should try it some time._ "

I glanced up curiously just in time to see Salazar give Lesaro a wide grin.

" _What makes you think I haven't_?"

Whatever Salazar had said, it made Lesaro's eyebrows rise all the way to his hairline.

I'd never wanted to ask for a translation so badly in my life. The intense curiosity almost made me blurt out a request for one, but I managed to bite my lip just in time.

Salazar turned to me and sketched a slight bow. "Until tonight, _Señorita_ Revanne."

"I might not feel like going," I told him, not particularly looking forward to spending my evening around a bunch of caterwauling sailors. I was already struggling with my limited social battery, and I didn't need it drained further. There was always Salazar's office as a retreat, but I didn't want to use it unless absolutely necessary.

He only offered a small, cryptic smile in response.

A warning shiver skittered down my spine. _Why do I have the nasty feeling that I'll be socializing tonight whether I like it or not…_

The two men exchanged a few more words before Salazar took his leave, the room feeling like it grew bigger after he left.

The lingering scent of cinnamon spice tickled my nose for a long time afterwards.

* * *

 **And there we are! Proof I'm still alive, minute as it is. Anyhoo, the next segment is more than likely gonna be a multi-chapter segment, so yay for that! And it's _almost_ done. It shouldn't be another month-long gap in between, unless life intervenes like it likes to do. **

**I'd like to thank nettacartwright, piratesangel, and everyone in our little fandom for their support and for just being amazing. Each and every one of you are most of the reason as to why I'm still relatively functioning as a human bean, and I have no way to repay you wonderful people. So here's my inadequate thanks and hopefully one day you'll comprehend the depth of my gratitude. I love you all. Please never doubt that.**


	31. Chapter 31

**I've got good news, mah peeps! We get a two-chapter update this time, _and_ I have some more in a buffer! Whoo! Ain't that new and exciting. O.o So this means that next chapter will most likely be next weekend, if all goes according to plan (and I don't forget). Unfortunately, it's not a very big buffer, so this won't last long, but we'll enjoy it in the meantime. But without further ado, more adventures of our Smexy Spaniard and his intrepid Time-traveler!**

* * *

The rest of my usual shift passed in a pleasant blur. Both Lesaro and Miguel were kind enough to take it easy on me. Lesaro did suggest that I check with the doctor to make sure I hadn't cracked anything and to get something for the pain, but I assured him I was fine. He acquiesced, but I caught him watching me carefully from time to time, but I hadn't lied to him. The pain was faint unless I forgot and took a deep breath or coughed.

Miguel was happy to see me again and gave me a quick hug that smelled like flour and strong herbs, but it was like hugging a big teddy bear. Though I quickly found out that most of his bulk wasn't from tasting his recipes but from moving the huge crates and barrels of supplies that made up his storeroom.

He put me to work organizing his clutter, which I was more than happy to do under his strict instructions. He knew exactly how he wanted things and I was quite fine with that, it saved me from having to think.

I did wonder why Jorge seemed almost depressed. There was a cloud of gloom hanging around him prominent enough that even my ignorant self noticed it.

I managed to catch his attention on one of his rounds through, but he only shook his head and mumbled that nothing was wrong, but it was blindingly obvious that something was upsetting him.

There wasn't anything I could do if he wouldn't talk to me, though I kept a worried eye on him whenever I could.

Miguel noticed too, but kept his silence. Sometimes one could only wait until a person was ready to talk.

I was kicked out of the galley early, Miguel warning me not to work too hard as he shoved food at me, but even while I laughed at his mothering, the little bit of work I'd been put through had sapped my energy quickly.

I decided I wasn't up to the antics of whatever the crew was going to get into tonight and even though Salazar had seemed adamant I should join the reverie, I was pretty sure I just didn't have it in me.

Polishing off one of Salazar's apples Miguel had given me, it was nice to just take a moment meandering on my way back to my cabin. I took the long way, along the open deck, silently weaving to a music only I could hear.

I felt a blissful smile on my face as I slowly relaxed in the warmth of the setting sun, humming to the tune in my head. Tossing the core over the railing, I walked belowdeck down the stairway, singing quietly to myself.

"Blue!"

The familiar voice made me whirl around. I squeaked in excitement before bounding over and colliding with Reíno in an exuberant hug. "Reíno!"

"¡ _Hola, señorita_!" he laughed in surprise as he caught me before hugging me tightly.

I buried my face in his chest with a happy chirp, nuzzling into his uniform. It'd felt like _ages_ since I'd seen him! "Missed you."

He wouldn't realize it, but displays of affection like this one were few and far between for me. And that meant a lot, since I had very few people that I felt deserved to be the recipient of my affection to such a level. So the fact that I had greeted him like this meant more than he would ever know.

Reíno pressed his face against my hair and I felt him smile as he hugged tighter, lifting me off my feet slightly before setting me back down. "I missed you too, Blue. I'm glad to see you're feeling much better."

Purring in the back of my throat, I locked my hands together as he swayed me gently from side to side, still holding me tight.

It felt so nice to be hugged by someone taller, bigger than me, again yet it somehow, strangely, seem to lack the depth of hugging Salazar. It didn't have the same sense of warmth and protection as it'd had when I'd been held in the captain's arms. The comfort was still there, but it wasn't even close to being as intense. Nor did I feel like I was being enveloped with strength and power.

Why couldn't I have found Reíno irresistible instead of his captain of all people? _Anyone_ would have been preferable to that walking complication of masculinity.

"Are you going to hug me all night?" Reíno murmured in my ear.

I nodded happily and snuggled into him as close as I could get. It might not be as pleasurable as Salazar's hug had been, but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to take it while I could. I absolutely adored hugs, surly Spaniards or no.

He chuckled and locked his arms around me, content to stand here holding me, at least for now.

I couldn't help but notice he didn't generate a sheer amount of heat, either, his frame seeming smaller, thinner, than the captain's-

 _Stop comparing! It's not fair to him!_

Forcefully shoving the oily whispers away, I dropped a heavy rock on top of them and squeezed Reíno tighter. I was so happy to see him. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed his company until now.

"Haven't seen you in forever," I whined, finally pulling back so I could pout up at him.

He grinned in return as he released me, rocking back on his heels, hands clasped behind his back. "It's been quite eventful after the storm. I haven't been able to see you since that one time when you woke up."

"You could have visited me in the captain's cabin. I wouldn't have minded the company," I said without thinking how that could be construed.

"And here I thought the _capitán_ would have been _more_ than enough company for you. He's most certainly not the sharing type." He gave me a suggestive wink, then smirked a little at his own innuendo.

I gaped at him in astonishment, then burst into laughter and nudged his arm, trying to ignore the flush warming my cheeks. "Reíno! You did _not_ just say that!"

He only shrugged with an unrepentant grin. "You do not think he would be upset without you all to himself?"

I rolled my eyes in exasperation, not believing he was sincere for a flat second. _What is it with these ridiculous Spaniards?_ "First Lesaro, now _you_. Unbelievable. That's it, I'm not wasting my breath any more with you deluded morons. I give up."

His grin didn't lessen in the slightest as he suddenly grabbed my hand and clasped it to his chest. "You're going to attend tonight, yes?"

I shook my head apologetically. "Nah, I think I'll just catch up on my sleep. I was never much of a party animal."

"But you have to attend! You've been locked up inside a cabin for far too long! You will forget feel of the wind on your face!"

Reíno tugged on my hand but I shook my head with a laugh. "No! I don't want to and I'm not going to! And I won't forget the feel of wind that quickly, Reíno. Stop being so dramatic."

"You'll have fun!" he cajoled, then switched tactics to give me the biggest pair of puppy-dog eyes I'd ever seen on a grown man. "Please? For me?"

I stared at him for a straight minute before bursting into laughter, giggling until my ribs painfully protested. I couldn't even speak I was laughing so hard. I quickly tried to stop, my ribs feeling like they were on fire, but I looked up to see Reíno struggling to hold the sad puppy-dog look and abruptly fell into giggles as he started laughing as well.

A throat being cleared immediately caught our attention.

Clutching my ribs, I glanced over to see Salazar staring at us both like we were crazy. It only made me laugh harder until I had to lean against the wall for support, tears trickling down my cheeks as I began to cough, hugging my ribs tightly as they burned in protest.

Reíno got his outburst quickly under control, long before I did, and straightened to inform Salazar with a respectful nod, " _Capitán._ I am trying to convince her to join us topside for the evening, but she's being stubborn and refuses to cooperate."

"Stubborn?" I hiccupped, causing them both to swing their focus to me. "Just because I don't particularly feel like socializing and would rather spend my time relaxing in my cabin? Gee, thanks for that."

Finally able to stand upright without feeling like I'd been punched in the ribs, I shook myself and stuck my tongue out at Reíno for throwing me under the bus like that.

He gave me a smug little smirk, one which would have earned an elbow to the stomach if I'd been closer, but I just filed it away for later as Salazar suddenly moved in my direction, snapping my gaze back to him.

The older man tilted his head in Reíno's direction, dismissing him, and Reíno slunk off obediently, but not before he shot a triumphant grin in my direction.

I narrowed my eyes at him with a look that promised retribution.

Boot heels clicked against the deck and I immediately jerked my attention back to Salazar as he stalked towards me.

"It won't hurt you to spend some time out in the open air." There was something about his expression, an almost devious edge, that I didn't trust and I backed away up the stairs with a wary grin as he drew closer.

"I get plenty of fresh air, thank you very much." Apprehension skittered down my limbs as he prowled up the stairs in pursuit, keeping only two stairs between us.

"You should watch where you're going," he advised just as I nearly missed a step.

I quickly regained my footing and kept backing up. "I'm good at keeping my balance."

"So I see." Yet the playful gleam in those dark eyes halted my urge to do something embarrassing, like make a run for it. I had no clue what it was about that particular look, but it made me feel dangerous things. Like the irresistible desire to tease him.

"Besides, if I fall, it'll just be right on top of you, Captain." I grinned as I finally made it to the deck without any further mishaps.

Salazar ascended the stairs shortly after, making me feel almost tiny in comparison to his towering frame. "I think I could manage to catch you."

I snickered and danced to the side out of his way. "Such a gentleman."

To my surprise, instead of moving past me, he swerved to keep pace, herding me backwards. His face was darkly serious, and I would have been worried if not for that glint still flickering in his gaze. "Indeed. Though I think it might more prudent to keep you in one place."

Before I could discern his intent, Salazar pounced, snatching me around the waist and lifted to firmly place me on a large crate set neatly close to the stairwell.

"I don't-!" I started to protest indignantly, only to be silenced when he pointed a finger at me.

"Don't even think about slipping away when I'm not looking," he warned sternly. "I'll just drag you back. It might very well be slung over my shoulder."

That shut me up. I blinked, stunned, as he tapped me on the nose, making me sniff and shake my head.

"You shouldn't run, _señorita_ ," he murmured, looking down on me with an inscrutable expression, the playful light slowly morphing into something…darker. "It incites the urge to chase."

Hot chills raced down my back at his words. I barely suppressed the shiver, as well as the strange awareness that suddenly flickered through me. I couldn't respond, just gaped at him.

With one last glance to make sure I was staying put, he turned to go join his officers, leaving me mutely staring after him, struggling to process what just happened.

All my efforts had been for naught, as that situation had _definitely_ been overly familiar. But what was I supposed to do? I already did my best to avoid him and the man just turned up as if my thoughts alone had summoned him.

As I sat obediently on the crate, not wanting to test to see if Salazar would go through with his threat, I watched as the sky gradually grew darker and more crew came out to mingle on the deck, officers and deckhands alike. It was actually quite entertaining to see them so lighthearted and animated, and I was surprised to see that a few of them had instruments.

Oddly enough, I even found myself looking forward to the evening, so long as I got to just watch and wasn't pressured into socializing. I was quite content to be overlooked, and if I felt a little flash of loneliness from time to time, it wasn't anything I couldn't ignore.

My mind eventually circled back around to Salazar's strange behavior. I found it odd that he'd done that, had been so bold as to just pick me up and plop me on a crate, when he'd never been so physically overbearing before except that one time in the closet. Had something changed? Some invisible boundary I hadn't known existed been crossed? He'd hugged me, that much I knew, and not a brief impersonal squeeze either, but a long, comforting embrace. I had a feeling that that might've had something to do with it, along with having taken care of him while he was sick.

Speaking of which…

I gulped nervously. _Is he going to start remembering what happened soon? What the fuck am I going to do if he asks about…_ that _night?_

Movement rustled next to me and I twisted curiously to see who it was.

To my surprise, Lady BeKatt emerged from the shadowy stairwell, looking a little green around the gills. I wondered if it was from being drugged or the rough seas beforehand.

"Are you alright?" I asked, feeling more than a little guilty that I had barely even thought about her at all. Then kicked myself for feeling guilty. Why the hell should I care? She was one poisonous harpy, and wasn't my concern. Poor Lesaro, though.

The fresh air seemed to reduce the green tinge, but the sickly pale hue remained on her skin. She daintily set one hand against the crate I was sitting on and pressed the back of the other against her mouth, as if she was about to hurl. "I shall…recover. Thank you."

 _Bitch better not puke on me. I'll fucking slap her silly._ I watched warily as she seemed to straighten shakily, more color gradually blooming in her cheeks, strange little red patches flaring on her skin as the pallor gradually disappeared. It almost looked like she'd rolled in a patch of poison ivy.

She remained standing next to my perch to watch the Spaniards as they laughed and joked around, shifting every now and then as she reached for the red patches as if to scratch, only to restrain herself before she actually did.

I found her presence increasingly strange and uncomfortable. She'd donned a lovely emerald gown for the evening, and even looking about to vomit, still had a lovely appearance, which made me feel extra frumpy. It really was a pity her attitude didn't match her looks.

Lesaro seemed to be right, though. Lady BeKatt appeared to have been knocked down quite a few pegs. Curious as to just how many pegs, I asked, "How do you know Spanish?"

Amazingly enough, her face didn't scrunch into an expression of disgust when she turned to address me. "My father was an ambassador for many years. I often accompanied him on his trips to Spain when I was younger. It seemed a benefit to learn."

I gaped at her, stunned that I had not only gotten a straightforward answer without a single insult, but that she'd spoken with what could have been mistaken for a friendly tone as well.

She noticed my shock and smiled with a slightly rueful tilt, scratching idly at the red patches. "I have been a veritable harpy, haven't I?"

Mute, I could only nod, wondering what kind of drug Lesaro had slipped in her tea.

Her smile faded and she sniffed as if smelling a slightly distasteful odor. "It is not polite to agree with a lady on her mistakes. But you _are_ American, it is widely known that you are less than civilized, so I suppose you must be forgiven."

 _And_ there _she is! Okay, everything's back to normal. I was worried for a second there_. I rolled my eyes and turned back to watch the crew chat with each other, watch Salazar converse with Lesaro and another officer I'd seen before but I didn't know his name.

Lady BeKatt huffed a sigh next to me. "I…apologize. I have been trying to…follow your 'advice' of being more polite. For all your insulting, you are correct. I have been quite rude and ungracious."

Wide-eyed, I edged away slightly, as if she was about to spontaneously combust. _Please go away, lady. You're freaking me out._

Her lips pursed in displeasure. "I am trying to be polite and conversational, chit."

I curled my lip at the term. I knew it wasn't really an insult, mostly just a loose English term for a young girl, but it sounded too close to 'shit' for my liking. "How exactly do you expect me to react when you've done nothing but insult me just for breathing? Excuse me for taking you with a grain of salt."

Probably rude, but I didn't try to curb my modern jargon for her in the slightest. She could either keep up or go away. Preferably the latter. I didn't trust this new leaf she was trying to turn over.

From her expression, she disapproved of my answer.

 _Bitch can kiss my ass!_

Instead of snapping back at me with more venom, she looked away, towards where the crew were still excitedly chattering. "I did not used to be this shrewish. I was quite pleasant when I was younger."

She caught my disbelieving look and huffed. "My life became…difficult, when my father passed away."

 _Well, no shit lady. My life is difficult too. I'm certainly not acting like you are._ But I kept my mouth shut. She appeared to at least be _trying_. "What happened?"

Her expression morphed into such a look of revulsion that I instinctively leaned away. "I was forced into marrying a pig that cared little for those that were under his protection. Then I had the fortune to fall under the care of his brother shortly after."

And with those bitter words, my happy little world cracked under the crushing weight of my anxiety.

For a short time, I'd been able to ignore the worries screaming at me from the howling void, but with Lady BeKatt's admission, they came racing back in a deafening rush.

I was a girl with 21st century ideals trapped in an 18th century time period.

 _How am I going to survive this?_

"What is wrong with you? You look positively ill."

Lady BeKatt's voice broke through the maddening whirl and I managed to ground myself enough to reply. "I'm fine. I'd just…managed to forget something and unfortunately remembered."

She made a small, questioning noise, but didn't pry when I kept silent.

Instead, I focused on Salazar's proud figure, trying not to let the anxiety creep in as I contemplated Lady BeKatt's admission.

She was obviously an intelligent woman, able to read and speak multiple languages, and had no qualms about discussing politics, which even I knew wasn't considered proper in this age. Headstrong, fierce, she hadn't broken during our imprisonment aboard the pirate ship. She'd survived.

Her marriage obviously hadn't been a happy one. I suspected she might have even been abused. What would a situation like that do to a woman like her? Force her to become? Especially here, when there was no support for abused women. In fact, it was considered the husband's entitled right if he _did_ abuse her.

And this was the time I was trapped in.

Unfortunately, Lady BeKatt chose that moment to notice the focus of my attention.

"You won't be able to catch him, you know. He is far above your station." Her voice had taken on a sharp edge that sliced into my skin with each word. "You should know your place and keep to your own class."

Luckily, while I wasn't good at hiding my blushes, I was excellent at hiding emotional wounds. And there was no way I was about to let her see how heavily blood was oozing from the cuts those words carved. "If you think you can keep him, you're more than welcome to him."

Something deep inside instinctively rebelled at the thought of this creature sinking her venomous claws into Salazar, but I ignored it. She was right. It wasn't my place to be possessive.

Besides, he was already claimed.

She lifted her head triumphantly, but before she could swan off, I murmured quietly, "I'm sorry we didn't meet before your father died. I think I might have liked you."

Her body stiffened and she froze in place for a few seconds, then walked away, her bearing not quite as arrogant as it'd been before.

I curled my lip and quietly growled, a painful ache starting up in my left forearm.

"You're worrying again, aren't you."

Lesaro's voice suddenly coming from behind made me jump, startled.

The lieutenant quickly stepped forward into my line of sight and offered a slight bow. " _Lo siento_ , I didn't mean to alarm you."

"You're fine," I quickly assured him, smiling in apology as I rubbed my arm. "I should have been paying attention. And only worrying a little."

"You have decided to join tonight's entertainment?" he asked, apparently deciding to set aside prying into my thoughts, which I greatly appreciated.

The reminder of how I'd come to be here made my ears flex backwards and I bared my teeth in annoyance. "Your captain thought it would beneficial for my health."

Lesaro raised one brow, shooting me a sly glance. "With your reluctant cooperation, I assume?"

I grumbled under my breath, glaring daggers at the familiar black and white coat in the distance.

Lesaro snickered in amusement. "He's right. You have been enclosed below deck for far too long, and after the effort he put into you during your illness, I would not wish to repeat that experience."

Muttering unsavory things, I barely resisted blowing a raspberry at him. I wouldn't be that rude in such a crowded setting. But I did wrinkle my nose in his direction.

Instead of being offended, the one-eyed Spaniard seemed only amused by my irritation. "Will you tell us a story tonight? I enjoyed your last one, about the boy and the giant creature."

The blood abruptly drained from my face as I felt the sickening lurch of stage fright churn in my stomach and squeeze my lungs. I rubbed my arm harder as the ache grew worse. "I-I, uhm, I'd r-rather not. I don't…it's too many people…"

Warmth covered my arm as Lesaro laid a large hand right over where my arm ached, heat seeping into the tense muscles and easing the pain. "I have seen the crowd you draw when you tell your stories, _señorita._ I do not think you will be able to get out of telling at least one."

I swallowed nervously, felt my breathing begin to quicken. Bile rose in the back of my throat as I started to fully panic.

I didn't try to pretend to not know what he was talking about. The number of crew that gathered when I'd told my stories had been gradually growing and was already starting to make me panic, but this was easily enough to send me over the edge. "What's the possibility of me making a successful escape?"

In answer, Lesaro tapped my arm with a finger, and when I twisted around to look at him, he tilted his head towards the small group of officers I'd been observing.

I followed his motion and sucked in a quick breath when I saw Salazar had his watchful gaze fixed squarely on me.

I knew exactly why he was staring at me like that.

He was waiting for me to run.

My teeth started chattering nervously, feeling the anxiety slowly spreading outwards in a layer of tense energy, tightening my muscles and making my skin crawl.

"Shall I escort you to Reíno? Would a familiar face help?" Lesaro asked quietly, squeezing my arm where it ached again, the warmth of his palm not nearly enough to soothe the cramping.

I clenched my jaw, trying to stop the chattering. "I-I doubt it. It's not going to be pretty either way."

Someone suddenly whistled, apparently signaling they were ready to start.

* * *

 **It seems that someone is on the prowl, and has begun circling his prey.** ***Grins wickedly*** **I wonder just what this night will entail...it's certainly gonna be busy, that's for sure!**


	32. Chapter 32

**And part two. I'm sorry...but hey, they're nice, big chapters! Anyway, I really, _really_ enjoyed this segment. It gave me the opportunity to feature a lot of the crew in one spot (even though it doesn't really seem that way). When I first wrote this, I kinda was like "Where we takin' this?", but now I really enjoy the direction it went. Of course, what was shaping up to be a nice evening for Isabeau just _had_ to go and take an immediate left turn downhill. But on the up side, there's someone at the bottom to catch her. ;)**

 **Warning: _huge_ spoilers to Shadow of the Colossus, property of the amazing Team ICO.**

* * *

Lesaro settled himself next to me, close enough that I could feel his body heat and smell the masculine scent of his aftershave, but not too close that I felt suffocated. "I'll keep you company until I take watch. And then I'll send Reíno to you. How does that sound?"

"Thank you, Guilllermo," I whispered unsteadily, hoping that there would be some way I could weasel out of this. The singing I didn't think anyone was going to pressure me into, but the storytelling…Lesaro was definitely right about that.

"What story do you have tonight?"

Lesaro's voice was strong and even, a soothing balm to my scattered thoughts. His baritone wasn't as rich as Salazar's but it was still pleasant to listen to, the purring accent giving it a lilt that was becoming music to my ears.

"I'm not sure. I have a few I could tell, but haven't yet settled on just one." I cringed as someone began screeching on a violin, torturing the poor instrument into producing sounds it had never been meant to make.

"These stories of yours…they are known by many people in your time?" Lesaro winced next to me and his fingers dug into his thigh as he resisted covering his ears.

Luckily, the wannabe violinist stopped before I went over and wrenched it out of his hands to show him how it was done. "It's complicated. They're not really…tales you would tell. They're sort of…I guess the closest term would be 'experienced'. It would actually be closer related to a play than a verbal story."

I knew he was extremely confused by that, but I didn't think he'd easily grasp television either. I shook my head as he opened his mouth, frowning in befuddlement. "It's extremely hard to explain, and requires a technology I can't replicate here. Suffice to say, I'm only describing a story that I've seen."

"You do an excellent job of describing these stories, then. You make it seem as if we're actually there."

I blew a small snort. "If you think that's the truth, I wish you could actually see them as I did. You become a part of the story, a part of the adventure, so much that sometimes it's a shock of cold water to return to the real world."

Lesaro was silent for a long moment as a few sailors began singing, boisterous, obnoxiously out of tune songs that had me cringing even as I couldn't help but giggle.

To my surprise, I actually found myself enjoying watching everyone have fun. Most of the men were gathered together in small groups as they talked to one another.

It was quite interesting to watch, and I was more than entertained by the antics of some of the more outgoing sailors.

Shortly after Lesaro left, one of the sailors, a lower ranked crewman based on his uniform, bounded over to hand me a mug of something to drink. I sniffed it warily, flexing my ears back at the bright smile on his face as he watched me take a cautious sip.

My eyes widened as I tasted something that had a wonderfully rich and sweet taste, but there didn't seem to be any alcoholic buzz to it. "Thank you."

The crewman's smile widened at my surprised look and he dropped a courtly bow, then excitedly returned to the festivities.

 _I wonder what this is._ I took another sip and was surprised at how delicious it was.

"Are you trying to hide?"

I glanced up at the familiar face and broke into a wide grin. "Not very well, apparently."

Reíno chuckled as he sat next to me, then confessed, "I wouldn't have noticed you if Lesaro hadn't pointed me."

"Oh, goodie. My invisibility cloak still works," I quipped, sipping some more of my drink.

At Reíno's curious look, I shook my head slightly and explained, "It's an ongoing joke for me. I'm so used to being overlooked whenever I'm around other people that I've started saying that I'm invisible. Which works for me, since I don't like being around a lot of people."

His eyes widened in something akin to shock as he sputtered. "You are _tímido_? Shy? A...a wallflower?"

"You seriously didn't see that coming?" I snickered at his stunned expression. "But yes, I'm really uncomfortable in large gatherings. It drains my energy and makes me feel exhausted. So I tend to fade into the woodwork."

He blinked and glanced around worriedly. "And being around so many…"

"It's not quite so bad," I admitted, finishing my drink and leaning back on my elbows, careful not to knock over the cup. "I'm out in the open air, and haven't really been bothered. So I'm doing okay for now."

Relief momentarily replaced the concern before morphing back again. "Will you be able to give us a story?"

I grimaced, having almost forgotten that fun little ball of stress. "I don't see how I can get out of it. I can't hide, I can't run, I'm _stuck_ out here-"

"What do you mean you can't run?" Reíno cut in, confusion audible in his tone.

In answer, I made an irritable gesture towards Salazar's proud and fearsome visage as he circled around, talking amiably with his officers while still keeping an eye on me. "That right there."

Reíno followed my focus and murmured a soft "oh" when he realized the reason for my aggravation. "The _capitán_ won't let you return to your cabin?"

Growling, I blew an aggravated snort. "No. The stubborn man insists on me staying out here until he decides I can leave. Speaking of which!"

I leaned over and jabbed him hard in the ribs with my elbow, making him yelp in pain. " _That's_ for ditching me, you douche."

He rubbed his side with a grimace. "Ditching you? You mean when the _capitán_ dismissed me?" At my firm nod, he smirked. "And yet, you are still alive, are you not?"

 _Cinnamon roll turning into a little shit._ My expression was not one of mutual amusement, which only made him snicker. Giving him my best disdainful look, I asked, "You're becoming quite the little brat, aren't you? How do your sisters deal with you and your snottery?"

That made him scoff, though his features softened into fond remembrance. "They call me by my full name and it usually involves me getting chased around trying not to get snapped with a wet towel, which if I manage to escape, turns into wet sheets-hey! Have you ever been snapped with a wet towel? It hurts!" he complained when I leaned against him, giggling too hard to sit up straight, my ribs twinging at my amusement.

"Oh, poor baby!" I tried to tease through my tears of laughter, but only laughed harder when he rolled his eyes in disgust and murmured irritably in Spanish.

Laughter fading on a deep sigh, I rubbed my face dry and shifted against his shoulder, becoming quite comfy snuggled next to him. "What _is_ your full name?"

"Alexander Reíno Ramón." He wrinkled his nose and continued, "My mother held a great love for Greek history."

I sat upright and saw his look of chagrin. "You were named for…Alexander the Great?"

He sagged with an almost pained groan. "Unfortunately."

I studied Reíno's face carefully, taking note of his young, boyish features, the kind warmth in his eyes.

He returned my serious gaze, his lips twitching as he fought a smile at my close inspection.

With a grave nod, I gave my judgement. "Alexander fits you well." Then I leaned over and slipped my cold fingers beneath his uniform collar, making him cringe with a shout of laughter. "But you'll still be my cinnamon roll!"

"¡ _Detener_! Stop! That tickles!" He laughed harder as I grinned and took pity on him, adjusting his collar back as I halted my torture.

He shook his head at my antics and rolled his eyes. "But nobody calls me Alexander except my mother, and my sisters when they're angry. I prefer Reíno."

I tilted my head. "Even with my butchering of your name?" As I lacked the rolling tones of a Spanish accent, I pronounced his name with a short, clipped, American intonation.

He gave me a surprisingly sheepish smile. "I…like how you say my name. It's…unusual. And I find it quite endearing."

"Careful, Reíno," I snickered, ignoring uneasy whispers at the back of my mind. "That's how you'll end up with another little sister."

He snorted in response to that. "I do not need yet another sister to harass me day in, day out. But," he leaned over and ruffled my hair, making me grumble and swat at his hand, "I think you would be a fun sister to have."

I blew a snort and shook my head, the whispers slithering away at his teasing jest at thinking of me as a sister. "I would drive you absolutely crazy, munch. You wouldn't know what to do with me. But it would be interesting to have a brother."

We fell silent as we watched the animated crew joking and laughing with one another, swapping stories and just having a fun time. I smiled softly as I found my eyes drifting towards where Salazar stood, talking with some of his officers.

He really was an impressive man, both in appearance and bearing, generating an intimidating aura I felt inexplicably drawn to. I'd never felt comfortable around individuals of a similar nature, but for some reason, Salazar continuously fascinated me. I was going to have to be careful not to find myself becoming infatuated. Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake…

"Hey, Reíno."

"Hm?"

I tilted my head as I continued to stare at Salazar. "How long have you served aboard the _Silent Mary_?"

Reíno exhaled breezily and hummed as he thought about it. "Two years. I was extremely lucky to be ordered to _la Maria_ shortly after I joined the Royal Navy. She is almost legendary among the rest of the fleet. And there is no better fit for her _capitán_ than _el Matador del Mar_ himself. He may be a ruthless man, but he inspires the best in those under his command."

I slid him a wry look. "I just asked a question, not making an opportunity for you to sing the man's praises. I'm more than aware of just how awe-inspiring he is."

"Really?" Reíno leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially. "Just how awe-inspiring _is_ he?"

Not sure if I was imagining the double-entendre or not, I sniffed disdainfully and lifted my nose in the air. "A girl doesn't kiss and tell, good sir."

He stared at me, blinking at my snobbish tone, until I reached over and poked him with a grin. "But far more awe-inspiring than you'll ever be, boyo."

I chuckled at his less than amused expression as he harrumphed. "I'm just teasing, Reíno." _I dunno, man. Salazar's packing some_ serious _heat…_

Hurriedly clearing my throat, I switched subjects. "Anyway, I haven't heard much about Lady BeKatt here recently. Is she still making everyone's lives miserable?"

Reíno grimaced sourly. "She is still helping with small things, nothing like what you do, but she insists on complaining about so many things that it makes little difference, and in a shrill screech, no less."

I winced in sympathy for what the crew was having to put up with. Even with what she'd told me about her past, that was no excuse for her behavior. "I think I vaguely recall hearing her squawking something about her door the other day."

"Apparently it's become dislodged or something after the storm, as now it sticks in the frame until she either manages to shove it open, or someone comes to let her out." Reíno didn't seem too upset by this development.

"I take it very few people let her out?" I asked wryly, completely understanding everyone's reluctance to let the harpy out of her cage.

He scoffed, then scrunched his nose in a small, perplexed frown. "It is strange, though. _Teniente_ Lesaro refuses to let anyone fix it, insisting that he already did so."

I choked slightly, having a pretty good idea how Lesaro had 'fixed' Lady BeKatt's door. _That sly dog…not that I can blame him. It must grate, being a proud naval officer and having to play handmaid to that cow._

Between the door and the tea, I was grateful that Lesaro seemed to like me, even with the initial bumpiness when we'd first met.

I started to hum quietly to myself, a tune that sounded flat without any musical accompaniment, but Reíno didn't complain. I was actually quite content, enjoying the opportunity to relax and just enjoy the flow of things. Though the reminder that I was going to be put in the spotlight sometime made it impossible to relax completely.

"What is that song?"

I cocked my head, not realizing that I'd started singing out loud until just then. "Angel by Sarah MacLachlan. It's supposed to be sung with piano, but it's still a beautiful song."

He frowned for a second before brightening with enthusiasm. "Could it be accompanied with a guitar?"

I thought about it and didn't see why not. "I guess…I don't think I'd be able to sing it well enough around other people, though."

Reíno waved a hand. "You could just sing it for me. I'll play for you."

I looked at him in surprise. "You can play the guitar?"

He ducked his head sheepishly. "Not very well. But I think I can accompany you."

"I think I'd like that," I said hesitantly, then quickly added, "But not where anyone can hear us."

He swiftly shook his head. "Of course not. Your quarters tomorrow night? And you wish for me to, er…" He trailed off and waved his hand at me.

"You to what?" I stared at him, confused. I had no clue what he was talking about. Was I supposed to read his mind or something?

When Reíno meaningfully tilted his head towards my legs, I mentally smacked myself upside the head. _I'm such an idiot._ "That. Right. Yes. Uhm, yes please. I would…appreciate it."

A flush crept up his neck, but he nodded in agreement. "Tomorrow night then."

Someone called his name and he jerked around, waving to the person that had gotten his attention. He turned back to me with an apologetic grimace. " _Lo siento_ , I have to go. I'll be back, I promise."

I waved my hand at him in a shooing gesture. "I'll be fine. Go and have fun."

The cool night breeze washed over me and I lifted my face up to inhale the smell of the ocean, trying to calm myself as anxiety swirled in my chest. _Just a little while longer, and Salazar or no, I'm making a break for it._

I'd almost made it home free. Roberto was the one who made escape impossible, and I would never forgive him for it.

Everyone else seemed to have forgotten about me, tucked away almost out of sight, but he spotted me and I watched in horror as his face lit up with delight. Ignoring the frantic shakes of my head, he bounded over and shattered my cover. " _Señorita_ Revanne! A story, _por favor_ , a story!"

I was immediately surrounded by excitedly chattering sailors, the high spirits of the gathering making them boisterous and energetic. Most of the crew who listened to me at night pressing close to hear, eager for a new story. Too close.

Too many people. _Too many people!_

Muscles quivered with high tension as I began hyperventilate, panicking as my personal space was swallowed up. My back was against wood and I had nowhere to go.

"¡ _Silencio_!"

Salazar's voice rang out and every single man instantly fell silent, then quietly backed up to give me space.

Finally able to breath, my gaze flicked to Salazar's, who was staring straight at me.

" _Siéntese_ ," he commanded, not once looking away.

Almost everyone sat, further giving me space even as it put me in the spotlight. The icy fingers of panic began creeping through my veins again.

Salazar's eyes burned into mine, keeping me ensnared. I couldn't look away. He wouldn't let me.

With my focus locked to his, the panic fizzled and fell flat as everything fell away until it was just the two of us.

He gave a small nod, signaling it was time for me to start.

Escape wasn't an option, so I took a deep breath and began telling my story the only way I could.

I told it only to Salazar.

He held my attention as I built a world where a boy carried his burden, his sole other companion a horse named Agro, to a place that gods no longer tread. A place forsaken by humankind. A place forbidden.

I kept my gaze centered on Salazar's solid form as I told him about the long trek through wilderness, under stars, through rain, across a bridge that stretched to the horizon, to a foreboding castle that loomed high at the end of the road.

His dark clear gaze kept me focused as Wander made his way down the dark spiral inside the castle and unveiled his burden. The body of a woman who had been sacrificed. The woman he hoped to bring back to life.

He didn't blink as Dormin revealed how this could be made possible. By the destruction of sixteen colossal beings, monsters that plagued the land and prevented Dormin from granting its life-giving power.

He remained my sole audience as I took him on the long, dangerous journey to destroy each colossus. He stayed with me during the realization that though each one tried hard to kill Wander, it was in fact he who was the monster. A monster that destroyed wonderful, amazing beings that were simply existing, either sleeping peacefully, gracefully sailing through sea and sand and air, or just simply watching the sky turn overhead. A calm peace that was shattered with the plunge of Wander's sword into each glowing mark located on every colossus, a mark that drained them of their life essence until nothing was left and the colossus broke and shattered into a rocky monument of bitter victory.

I watched as he was drawn into the story, drew on his strength when Agro sacrificed himself to ensure Wander's safety.

He was completely entranced at the revelation that Dormin was in fact the true enemy, and that the colossus were guardians to keep it caged, keep its power waned, keep it imprisoned. And with the destruction of all the colossi, it was finally free. With Wander as its new borrowed body and host of power.

I couldn't even tell if he was breathing as humans arrived at the castle, a priest with a select few warriors, in hopes to subdue Dormin, but Wander was already possessed.

And the girl remained a lifeless vessel.

The air was completely still aboard the _Mary_ as Dormin fought against the well, a shallow pool at the base of the stairwell in the castle, activated by the priest that sucked the monster towards its entrapping waters.

And when the howling winds had stilled and the bridge had finished collapsing behind the fleeing humans, movement stirred on the stone altar that Wander had placed his burden upon.

The girl known as Mono in another life slowly awoke to find herself in an alien place, an empty place, but the sound of hooves rang unevenly on the stone floor, growing closer.

Agro had survived the fall, one hind leg terribly lamed, but still the great beast drew onwards. He led the girl towards the now empty pool, where a small infant, two black horns sprouting from his hair, lay on the shallow bottom.

With the rebirthed Wander in her arms, she followed Agro up the circular pathway, the injured horse leading her not towards the collapsed bridge, but further upwards, towards a garden filled with green and sunlight. A peaceful cove with wildlife that had no fear of the two humans who would now call this small Eden home.

The silence was deafening as I finished the story and quickly took several swallows from the cup someone had brought me. I glanced around nervously at the dumbstruck sailors and uneasily rubbed the back of my neck. _Two seconds, then we run._

To my eternal gratitude, Salazar intervened before I bolted.

He briskly clapped his hands twice and snapped a command.

The crew's attention reluctantly shifted away from me with quiet murmurs of praise and thanks. Roberto slid up to grab my hand and place a quick kiss on the back of my knuckles before trotting off to go join a couple of sailors that started to tell another story, their words audibly Spanish.

I gritted my teeth, the awkward urge to wipe the back of my hand against my pants almost painful to resist. _How much fallout would there be if I put weevils in his sheets?_

"What was that story?"

Salazar's quiet murmur made me tense, suddenly noticing the commanding presence at my side. Just as quickly, I forced myself to relax. He was far more soothing to my peace of mind at the moment than being forced into the limelight. "The Shadow of the Colossus. It's supposedly in the same universe as the Last Guardian, the one I told that one night you interrupted, and there's another one as well, but I never got around to finishing it."

He was silent for a moment, watching me nervously fidget before he spoke again. "I don't suppose you'd wish to tell another tonight."

I barked a humorless laugh, concentrating on staring straight ahead as I struggled not to flip out. "Not unless you want to send me through a full-scale panic attack. And I don't think anybody wants to see that."

He made an odd noise and I knew he was remembering the last time that'd happened. And the ugly mess I'd dissolved into. "No, I'd rather not witness that again."

The strange tone in his voice made me glance up at him, surprised to see the stern frown on his face. Something that looked like concern flickered in his eyes as he looked over at me before he blinked and it vanished.

He was very good at hiding his emotions. Which doubly sucked for me, since I'd never been good at reading them in the first place. But that had most definitely been concern. Why?

But still, I was beyond relieved for his help. I gave him a hesitant smile and quietly offered, "If you'd like, I wouldn't mind telling you another one. Just you, though…"

Salazar blinked in surprise, as if taken aback that I'd volunteered to spend time with him. Then his face broke into a smile of warm appreciation. "I would like that. Tomorrow night at dinner. I think you've been strained enough for one evening."

My quick sigh of relief triggered a deep chuckle and he propped his hip against a nearby cannon. "So tell me."

I snapped my attention away from getting my breathing back under control from that smile and back to the imposing captain, cocking my head curiously.

His stern features creased with a small grin. "Was the evening as bad as you feared?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, still not having forgiven him for this transgression. "Worse."

A small snort of laughter erupted from his chest.

I bared my teeth in response, ignoring the tingle of pleasure from hearing his amusement. "How long you gonna make me stay out here?"

He shook his head slightly, that little grin still dancing across his mouth and gestured broadly with one hand. "You may leave whenever you wish."

Rolling my eyes, I huffed in disgust at his easy acquiescence, now that he'd gotten what he wanted. "Of course. Why am I not surprised."

Something caught his attention over my head and he nodded in response, pushing off of the cannon to leave. Stopping in front of me, he gently covered my hand with his and when I glanced up, the earnest look on his face surprised me.

"Thank you for being here."

I blinked and managed a slight nod in response to that oddly quiet murmur, then watched as he strode off, his impressive form triggering hot little fireflies in my belly.

 _Seriously? How the fuck do we make him less attractive. Like, asap._

A second thought occurred on the heels of the first. _If I'm that affected by just a touch and few words, I'm almost scared to think of how it'd be to kiss him._

 _Welp, you see what a hot mess we are after those couple of nights with some heavy petting._

 _True._ Leaning back to lay on the crate, I stared up at the stars as the soothing lilt of Spanish rolled over me and I gradually relaxed, quite content just to doze and listen to the animated storytellers. My mind drifted quietly, the usual storm dying down to a soft murmur as thoughts drifted in and out without any real solidity.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Tímido -_ Shy

 _Detener_ \- Stop

 _Lo siento_ \- I'm sorry

 _Silencio -_ Silence

 _Siéntese_ \- Sit down

 **Welp, it certainly was an interesting evening! And it's not even over yet. *smirks* A certain Spaniard is slowly becoming more playful and Isabeau has no clue what to make of it.**


	33. Chapter 33

***Presents with a flourish* As promised, I give ze next chapter! Even a little earlier than promised, because I'm terrible at waiting and wanna share it with my wonderful peeps (really, each and every single one of you is the best, even if I don't reply to your reviews like I should. :1 I'm a terrible person.)**

 **Anyhoo, next chapter will be multi-part! Just don't know how many parts yet. But it's almost ready, so it'll more than likely be just another week for that as well. Man, I like this buffer. This is awesome!**

* * *

Of course the peace couldn't last for long as I felt movement next to me and opened my eyes with a groan to see Magda leaning over me. "Go away."

Magda ignored my grumble and held something that looked almost like a cookie over my face. The delicious smell of cinnamon wafted from it and I instantly perked up, snuffling as I rolled upright, eyes fixed on the treat. "What is that."

With a wry smile, he waved it around, watching in amusement as I moved to follow his hand, staring at the cookie. "These are _mantecados_. They are delicious. I thought you might like some."

Saliva flooded my mouth at the tantalizing scent of cinnamon and I growled quietly at being teased, just about to pounce on him if he didn't hand it over.

Luckily, Magda held it out before he got a taste of teeth and I took it, sniffing the dessert before nibbling a small bite.

Delicious flavor exploded on my tongue and I froze, drool pooling in my mouth before I quickly inhaled the _mantecado_ , licking my lips to catch the excess sugar and looked at Magda plaintively for more.

He chuckled, then held out a small plate with a few more on it. "Here, these are for you."

Murmuring a quick thanks, I began munching on another, wiggling with delight at the wonderful taste.

Magda shook his head with a smile, watching me inhale the cookies. "I should have guessed that you had a sweet tooth."

Moaning happily, I remembered to swallow my mouthful before replying. "I have a terrible sweet tooth, but I'm not overly fond of chocolate."

Eyes growing wide, he stared at me in awe. "You have had chocolate?"

I paused in taking another bite and frowned at him. "You haven't?"

He leaned back, a wistful look sliding across his face. "Chocolate is…difficult to come by. It is rare that I am able to purchase some."

"I forgot. It's made differently here," I muttered to myself, nibbling on another _mantecado_. I recalled reading about people drinking chocolate a lot in my historical romances. It made me curious as to how one ate it here, but I didn't want to raise too much suspicion by asking.

"Have you seen Lady BeKatt tonight?" Magda asked nonchalantly.

Not really paying attention as I pondered the question of chocolate, I answered, "Briefly before the festivities started."

"How did she seem?"

Tuning in that something wasn't right, I turned to look at him suspiciously. "Magda."

"Hm?"

I narrowed my eyes at the officer who was studiously staring off into the distance. "Did you do something."

At my apprehensive tone, he turned to raise an eyebrow at me. "Now why would you think that?"

Not fooled for a second, I stared at him warily. "Because you're acting entirely too innocent."

"Is there such a thing?" he asked with a small smirk.

"Most definitely. Especially when there's a known prankster involved."

His smirk widened as held out his hands in surrender. "I may have…er, tried to help make her stay more…" A slightly malicious grin stretched across his face. "Accommodating."

The malevolent look made me shiver involuntarily and I was greatly relieved that this man had decided to be my friend rather than my enemy. "Do I even want to know?"

He gave a deceptively innocent shrug. "Oh, nothing harmful or lasting. A few…what do you call them? Weevils? A few of those in her dress, slipped something into her tea. Small pranks."

Not nearly convinced, I kept my stare on him. "Something to induce irritation of the skin?"

He visibly brightened. "So that is already appearing? She must be more susceptible than I thought-"

"Magda!" I gaped at him when he turned to give me a puzzled look, though that little grin said he knew exactly what I was berating him for. "You can't go around slathering people with poison ivy!"

He frowned in confusion. "What is poison ivy?"

"It's a plant that produces an oil that causes extreme irritation and itching. It sticks on clothes for weeks. If it's not poison ivy, what did you put on her?"

Twisting his lips in another smirk, he stole the last _mantecado_ , quickly wolfing it down when I growled at him for stealing my treat. He swallowed before answering, "Something similar, though I wish I had some of this poison ivy. It sounds intriguing. I'll keep an eye on her to make sure her reaction doesn't become severe, but she will be fine," he added, waving a hand when I opened my mouth to scold him again.

I snapped my teeth in irritation that he'd taken my last dessert. "I suppose I should just be grateful she's keeping you busy."

Magda flashed a glance at my canines. "I'm not so sure I'd prank you anyway. At least Lady BeKatt wouldn't bite me for stealing her food."

I grinned sharply, making sure to show all my teeth, then was distracted by the devil herself daintily stepping up onto the makeshift platform the Spanish storytellers had been using.

Seeing the guitarist next to her, I assumed she was planning on singing. Rolling a growl at the back of my throat, I tried to decide if I wanted to stay through this or not.

Eyeing the woman as she talked quietly with the guitarist, Magda asked absently, "Can you sing?"

"I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket," I lied quickly, not wanting him to get any ideas.

He harrumphed, but didn't push further on the topic.

To my amazement, Lady BeKatt actually had a very nice voice _and_ was capable of using it. Judging from Magda's expression, he was just as surprised.

I couldn't tell what she was singing, the song was in another language, but it was still lovely to hear, and she even seemed to be enjoying herself.

"You should probably leave her alone," I said quietly, recalling what she'd told me about her past. "She's got enough problems without needing anymore."

I saw Magda blink at me in disbelief. "You are suggesting that it is not her fault she is far ruder than any woman I have ever met? Than any one person should be?"

Flattening my mouth, I shook my head. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I just…she told me a few things earlier that helps explains why she's so rude and bitchy. I can somewhat understand why she lashes out constantly, even after being rescued by pirates."

I turned my head to see Magda's jaw hanging open and smiled wryly. "Never thought you'd hear that coming from me, did ya?"

Snapping his mouth closed, he blinked a few more times, scrambling to gather his wits. "That is quite …gracious of you."

Ducking my head sheepishly, I felt uncomfortable at his curious tone. I didn't want him to think I was just being a nice person, all-forgiving and such. "It's not kindness, I just understand her a bit more. And can sympathize. She hasn't had it easy, and despite her venomous attitude, I think she could be a really nice person, if someone helped remind her from time to time."

Tilting my head, I watched her as she sang. She really was quite beautiful, and I suspected that if someone had time and patience, she could become quite a wonderful person. I also felt kinda bad that both Magda _and_ Lesaro were messing with her.

 _Bah. We could sing better than_ that _,_ the little voice said sulkily.

 _Why you gotta go and ruin a nice thing_.

Applause rang across the deck when Lady BeKatt finished her song and she received it gracefully. It made me embarrassed for being such an awkward duck and having to be saved by the captain before I passed out from stage fright.

I glanced over and was surprised to see Magda wrinkle his nose in distaste. "What?"

"Were you watching where she was looking while she sang?" He curled his lip. "She was staring at the _capitán_ the entire time."

Confused, I frowned. "And?"

He slid a glance at me. "That song is about two lovers, one of whom is a captain who cannot be with a lady of noble birth because he is forever at sea."

My gaze instantly swung over to where Salazar stood. Even at this distance, I could tell he wasn't pleased. "Oh."

An unpleasant sensation rippled through my chest and I began to contemplate my decision to play nice.

Magda muttered darkly in Spanish under his breath, then switched to English. "That was poor conduct on her part."

I shifted uncomfortably. "That might've…partially been my fault." I cringed when Magda jerked to face me.

"How so?"

"Well…she might've dropped a comment and I told her that…if she thought she could keep him, she could have him." I winced as Magda stared at me in disbelief. But honestly, what else was I supposed to have said? Told her no, he was already taken?

He quickly recovered and made a noise of irritation. "Whatever you do, I would not suggest telling the _capitán_ that. He is already having to fend off her advances, but with this…he would be very displeased."

I pulled a face. "Why on earth would I tell him something like that? I mean, I can see why it'd make him annoyed that I basically encouraged her to go after him, but I'm certainly not gonna admit it to his face."

Surprisingly, Magda snickered with a sly grin. "No, that's not entirely why he would be so irritated, _Señorita_ Blue."

At my blank stare, he only chuckled and waved his hand. "Never mind. Do you remember what I said to you that first night you talked to the _capitán_?"

"You said he liked me," I answered hesitantly, trying to figure out what he was getting at. "But why though? Why does a man like _el Matador del Mar_ find me anything less than an extreme annoyance?"

Magda paused thoughtfully as he contemplated his answer. A moment passed, his expression becoming very serious, before he answered, "You are…different. You possess an opinionated mind, if you have something you want to say, for the most part you let your opinion be known. You appreciate the effort of other people, not just taking them for granted. You refuse to stand by and watch while others struggle or suffer around you, stepping in to help because it is the right thing to do. You don't simper and fawn simply to gain favor or attention. In fact, it makes you uncomfortable. You avoid it. And you're blushing," he added, noting the embarrassed glow to my face at his words.

The somewhat aloof Spaniard seemed amused that he'd made me blush, but I felt too self-conscious to care. That he'd come to realize so much about me in the span of a few short weeks was very unnerving. I felt exposed, my blanket of insipidness wrenched away.

It also made me uneasy, the way he'd spoke as if I wasn't without flaws, or was a saint. I had faults. I even knew what a lot of them were: I was selfish, lazy, unmotivated, quick to anger, and I had practically no self-esteem. Plus there was my tendency to not believe people when they promised things...

Most of that these men hadn't seen, since I'd been making an effort to help out and be as useful as I could, but still. "Magda, I have flaws-"

" _Sí_ , all of us do," he broke in, nodding that he understood, "but your flaws do not diminish that you are a good person. They simply make you more human."

I thought back to when Salazar had said something similar about my anxiety and had to wonder if there was something to that, if both men had similar opinions.

As I pondered this new insight, a crewman strode over to speak respectively to Magda, saying something in Spanish that the officer returned in kind.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye, curious about the Spaniard next to me. I hadn't noticed him interact with other crewmen often, usually it was only just the two of us, and it was interesting to observe the cool mask that slipped into place as he murmured to the subordinate sailor. I could see what he'd meant when he told me that the other officers thought of him as cold, unemotional. If I hadn't witnessed him laughing and joking with me, I'd have fallen into the trap of thinking the exact same thing.

It made me appreciate even more that he'd found me worthy enough to show his true self.

It also made me wonder about Lady BeKatt, if she suffered a similar disposition. If her bitterness had created the hostile attitude as an armor against the outside world.

I glanced over at the lady in question to see she was staring sourly at Salazar, who was studiously ignoring her in favor of speaking with one of his other officers.

But something nasty was curling in my chest at the thought of Lady BeKatt singing to Salazar, trying to catch his attentions, and it was canceling out my good intentions. Sharp claws dug into my chest and unpleasant thoughts whirled through my mind. Despite my earlier conviction to understand her better, and in turn, hopefully be nicer to her, I couldn't resist the urge to retaliate. Apparently, I wasn't as nice as Magda thought. Time to show him I could be vindictive.

When the crewman departed with a bob of his head, I called his name quietly.

He turned and at my gesture, leaned towards me so we couldn't be overheard.

"Do you have anything sticky that's really hard to wash off? Like an adhesive?"

He raised an eyebrow curiously at my question, but nodded. "There's a few things on board that fit that description."

Baring my teeth, I told him my idea. "Swap out what Lady BeKatt uses to wash her hair with whatever is closest in consistency."

Madga blinked, the gears quickly clicking in his brain until he grinned right back, the mischievous light in his eyes making that ugly sensation in my chest extremely satisfied. "What happened to being more understanding?"

I glanced away uncomfortable from that knowing look on his face, suddenly wishing I'd kept my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself. "She should leave Salazar alone."

I knew as soon as I said it he got the wrong idea. "Before you start getting all smug, no, I'm not saying for the reasons you're probably thinking, I'm saying it because it's not right for her to be chasing after the poor man. He's not a piece of meat just to be used for his position and reputation."

"Oh, he's a 'poor man' now?" he asked with a sly grin. "What happened to beating him with the stick pulled-"

Rolling my eyes, I cut him off with a huff. "Be that as it may, he's already got someone he's interested in. So you can get all the ideas you want, but it's never going to happen."

With a curious lift of an eyebrow, Magda quickly opened his mouth, but paused before simply saying, "I have something that will work. For the adhesive."

Yet by his expression, I gathered that wasn't what he'd wanted to say. I waited a beat to see if he'd elaborate on his thoughts, but he remained silent, only watching me with a slightly smug look.

"What," I snapped, growing irked at his know-it-all attitude.

Reaching out, he laid a heavy hand over my wrist, getting my full attention. When I met his gaze, his face was completely serious again. "I would not consider the _capitán_ beyond your reach just yet, _Señorita_ Blue. There are many things about him you do not know, one of which is that he would never pursue another woman if his attentions were already engaged. Please remember that."

Bewilderment struck me mute as he gave me a small, comforting pat and walked away, presumably to go search for his tool of tormenting Lady BeKatt.

As soon as he left, guilt instantly swamped my puzzlement, the strange, possessive pressure in my chest dissipating under the crushing weight of second thoughts.

 _I'm a terrible person._

 _Hey, what's life without having had gum in one's hair at some point?_

 _That doesn't make it any better. We're just stooping to her level._

I fought with myself back and forth for a while, but in the end decided even if I told Magda never mind, he'd probably do it anyway. Especially since I'd given him the idea.

Still felt bad about it, though. _No more helping him tag-team Lady BeKatt!_

Eventually, the crew began to disperse, quietly chattering amongst themselves as they returned to their duties or went down to turn in for the night.

My eyes were burning a little, indicating that I'd been out here a lot longer than I'd thought, along with the additional stress of forced storytelling. I didn't feel like unraveling Magda's riddling words at the moment either, so just set them aside to torture myself with later.

But I wasn't ready to head to my cabin yet, wanting to enjoy the quiet solitude of the night air and recharge. I moved from my spot on the crate to wander along the railing, finding peace in the briny air, the limp sails that hung still and silent.

Humming to myself, I started to sway to a music only I could hear, then lifted to the balls of my feet and began to twirl along the deck, bobbing a rhythm that wasn't like anything this time period had ever seen. Giggles bubbled in my throat as I bounced all the way to the _Silent Mary's_ prow, bliss shimmering through my mind on rainbow waves.

This…this was actually a lot of fun. If I ignored what I'd left behind three hundred years into the future, and what awaited me upon reaching shore, I was actually peacefully content to spend my time aboard the _Mary_. My contentment came and went in waves, but right now, I was on top of a wave so high I would have sworn I could touch the stars.

Glancing around to make sure no one was in earshot, I took a deep breath and began to sing. "Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance, for a break that would make okay. There's always some reason, to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction, oh beautiful release, memories seep from my veins…"

My voice grew stronger and richer as I got the melody on track, only a little out of tune at the beginning. It still sounded bland without accompaniment, but I didn't care. I lifted my face into the faint briny breeze and enjoyed myself, but all too quickly reached the end of the song.

The last notes faded away in the air, leaving the night full of silence once again. I was happy I'd been able to remember all the lyrics to that song. It was one of my favorites and I had a hard time remembering the whole thing, but this time I'd gotten through it with only a few mistakes.

"You have a beautiful voice."

* * *

 **I wonder what Magda was gonna say before he changed his mind...**

 **And we gotta wait until next time! Should be just a short break. (And we all know who's voice that is at the end, right? :D)**

 **Also, because it's completely deserved, thanks to nettacartwright for her help in coming up with Magda's pranks, and everything else she's helped me with. ^.^**


	34. Chapter 34

**I. Am. Back. *checks pocketwatch* And on schedule, no less! Well, on schedule according to me. To those of you that are in a different timezone, I apologize. Anyway, this is gonna be another three-parter! Whoo! Haven't had one of those in a while. And better yet, it's gonna be _all_ smexy Spaniard. All of it. Every single bit. *ahem* Sorry, couldn't help myself. So (does anybody actually read this?) I still have more in the buffer, but it's disjointed and will take time to connect the dots. ****_But_** **I have more further in, so it'll probably be another pause, then another buffer for a short while. Just wanted to give you guys a heads-up!**

 **Anyway, enough of me blabbering. Time to throw these two together so they can grow closer, and develop a deeper relationship, and answer some questions and blahblahblah, just hurry up and just kiss already! (Yeah, right. We can wish...)**

* * *

"Holy shit!" I yelped, jolting to the side as I saw Salazar's familiar form leaning back against the railing behind me, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement. "What the hell? Do you get that much of a kick out of scaring me?"

"A…kick?" he queried, tilting his head as he considered the foreign term.

"You think it's funny." I pressed a hand to my throat to feel my pulse racing under my fingers, though I wasn't sure it was entirely from him startling me. _I hope he hadn't seen me dancing around like an idiot…_

"Ah. Only a little."

I managed to resist the urge to stick my tongue out at him. Barely.

"I enjoy listening to your voice. Why didn't you say you could sing earlier?" he asked curiously, studying me with his distinctive intensity, but it seemed more concentrated than usual. As if he was determined to peel back the barrier between him and my innermost thoughts, to expose my very being.

I shifted, his sheer focus making my muscles tighten with a strange anticipation. I had to struggle hard not to recall that I'd seen this man _naked_. Not completely all at once, but _still_. I'd seen his- "I think one anxiety attack per night is enough for me. Besides, I'm only as good as when I'm alone. Or when I think nobody can hear me. And I…didn't want to seem like I was competing." _No need to trigger Lady BeKatt's animosity any more than I already have._

"Mm…" He pushed smoothly away from the railing and sauntered towards me, moving with a feline grace that drew the eye like a magnet.

I moved over so he could lean against the railing without touching me, yet somehow I found his shoulder brushing mine, sucking up my personal space.

But the touch didn't bother me in the slightest. It actually felt reassuring, like something I could draw strength from. The tassels on his epaulets tickled through my shirt.

"More is coming back to me, from during my illness," he suddenly murmured, staring out over the waves.

I instantly cringed next to him with a silent groan, the comfort evaporating on a sudden lurch of anxiety. _I give it about twenty seconds before we find out if it's really possible for someone to die of embarrassment._

"I remember that you sang to me. I heard your voice," he continued, that soft, easy tone doing nothing to calm my panicking nerves. "I remember you talked a great deal, though I do not recall exact words."

 _Okay, maybe ten seconds._ Struggling not to fidget, I wondered if there was a way to head him off before he remembered too much. "You know what, I think Miguel had something for me to do. I'll just-"

"Did I compromise you?" he asked bluntly, turning to pin me to the spot with a grim frown, jaw rippling with repressed vexation. Yet it didn't seem to be aimed at me. At himself?

I clicked in my throat, trying to recall just how touchy the 18th century standard of 'compromised' was. Technically speaking, if this were any other situation, I knew I'd already have been dragged to the altar, whether I wanted to be or not. "No…"

One dark eyebrow lifted disbelievingly. "You don't sound very convinced."

I swallowed and made an uncertain noise, unable to meet his eyes. "By my standards, no. You didn't 'compromise' me." _My hand was wrapped around his-his_ cock _. How the fuck is_ that _not 'compromised', girlfriend?_

"Very well, then what _did_ I do? Because I remember some things as vivid as this moment now, and others…" he trailed off, gesturing in vexation. "And some of what is vivid is very…intimate."

His obvious frustration made me feel guilty for refusing him answers and I knew I'd want someone to tell me if I was in his position. "Clothes stayed on and there was only a little touching. That's it. Nothing more than that."

He blew out a weary sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut as he muttered under his breath, then louder, "You are…certain?"

"Captain." I waited until he opened his eyes and I had his full attention. "You were sick, you had a high grade fever, you weren't in control of yourself. And _nothing happened_. Well, what I'd consider nothing, anyway. _You'd_ have a problem with it, but you don't remember what you did. So _I'm_ saying that nothing happened. And you need to stop berating yourself."

"You do not…fear me? After my actions? After I forced myself upon you?" he asked cautiously, scanning over my face earnestly. "The truth, _por favor_."

Memories of his 'actions' threatened to shatter my composure. And my equilibrium.

I smiled wryly while struggling not to let my thoughts color my cheeks. _Right now, the only thing I'm afraid of is what I'm thinking!_ _Stop bringing it up!_ "No, I'm not afraid of you. Maybe when I first met you but now…" I shook my head. "And only when you're mad. But I'm pretty much nervous around anyone I don't know well when they're angry."

Tension visibly loosened from his shoulders and he lowered himself to lean against the railing again. After a moment of curiously watching his profile, I turned to do the same. It must be terrible, to have memories of actions you'd done without your conscious consent. And with someone those actions were not intended for.

The guilt was going to eat me alive. If the anxiety didn't get to me first, that is. I shouldn't have enjoyed those intimate little touches as much as I had…

But surprise mixed into the emotional tumult as I came to realization that now with everything like it 'should' be, what with Salazar finally being awake, I wasn't feeling _quite_ so anxious. I was actually feeling…somewhat normal, all things considered, despite the little teeth of guilt gnawing away at the edges.

My bewildered amazement must have shown on my face.

"What surprises you?" Salazar asked, studying me inquisitively.

"I'm…" I trailed off, struggling to put it in words. "I'm getting used to being here and it's actually…kind of nice." I titled my head, frowning as I pondered on that.

"Explain, _por favor_."

I twitched my head to see Salazar was still observing me, interest lighting his features as he waited for my reply.

"It's…difficult to put into words. I was going through a lot of stress before landing here. Constantly worn out, swinging from bouts of panic to listlessness to irrational anger. I could barely string two thoughts together because it was such a struggle just to _think_."

Salazar frowned, as if not pleased with the mental image I'd given him. "And now?"

"Now, unless I start thinking about if I'm ever able to get home or not, and I'm not so worried about you biting my head off at any given moment, it's a sort of twisted relaxation, not being able to control anything. There's literally nothing I can do to change anything, to fix it, so for now, I'm just along for the ride."

Easy silence flowed between us once I was done sharing my insight, and I lifted my nose into the breeze, enjoying the calm waters as the _Mary_ glided towards her destination. It still amazed me at how graceful she was, when I would have figured she would be clunky like a three-legged rhino considering her size.

"I believe I understand," Salazar murmured softly, shifting closer and I basked in his warmth. Ever since we'd both been sick, I kept finding him inside my hamster ball, taking up space with his big self, but I didn't mind. Had become comfortable with his presence. I actually found myself looking forward to the little moments when he came and shared my company, the little moments when we touched, even though I knew I shouldn't. I tried to ignore it, but still felt a little euphoric all the same-

" _Señorita_ Revanne."

His hesitant tone was so unlike the confident richness that I'd come to associate with this intimidating man. It worried me.

Brow furrowing in bewilderment, I turned to look at him, but he wasn't looking at me, instead staring intently over the waves, his jaw rippling as he clenched it.

"Did I…force you to touch me intimately?"

My stomach hit the deck with a practically audible splat.

His gaze snapped to mine before I could recover. But I didn't answer. I _couldn't_ answer. I couldn't even meet his eyes, staring at some point over his shoulder. Yet I had the sinking feeling that the crimson hue of my skin was answer enough.

Salazar's heavy sigh ruffled my hair. "I was afraid of that."

"I-I-" I stuttered to a halt, erotic memories rushing through my mind, then swallowed and dropped my gaze, fixating on one of his medals, the one closest to the line of buttons on his coat. Distantly, I wondered if I'd ever find out how he'd earned them. "I know it's not…proper, but it's not something you need to worry yourself about. Truly. I'm not going to hold it against you, and I know it's against the rules and everything, but please don't feel like you need to fix it. You were sick. You were very, very sick. You were dreaming I was someone else, and couldn't realize that I wasn't her."

I was rambling. I knew it, yet I couldn't stop as I raced closer to the inevitable trainwreck.

"You didn't hurt me, I swear, and nothing happened with consequences, so please. _Please_ don't try to fix this. You'll only make it worse. Just let it go and forget about it and we won't-"

Warm, calloused fingers slid under my chin and gently lifted my face up. The rough pad of his thumb pressed against my lips, stemming the flow of words before I embarrassed myself completely.

I swallowed nervously as I met Salazar's steady gaze briefly before glancing away, unable to hold the intense contact. Not with his hot fingers branding my skin, my lips.

The urge to open my mouth and nip at his thumb was astonishingly strong, and I couldn't decipher if it was simply my impulse to bite or a response to his touch.

"You aren't like any woman I know, Isabeau. You truly aren't going to hold me to it, are you?" His tone wasn't doubtful, but curious, almost wondering. "After what happened, you won't blame me for it, even though it would be completely understandable if you did. It is well within your right to do so. Many others would in fact think less of you for not taking advantage of my weakness."

My gaze flicked back to his, faltering only for a moment under his calm study before I was able to hold steady. I'd read enough historical novels to have a good feel for proper etiquette of the 19th century and figured the 18th was close to the same. I knew, if for an instant, I'd blamed him, he would have done what was proper, and asked for my hand. He was too honorable not to.

An icy shiver chased down my spine at the thought of trapping this man in marriage like that.

Neither of us would ever forgive me if I did such a thing. "I'm not going to blame someone for something they did while not in control of their own body."

The firm statement caught him off guard, shock appearing in his expression before his face brightened into a half-smile, as if pleasantly surprised with my declaration. He finally dropped his fingers away from my chin, allowing me to lower my eyes.

But my skin still felt the imprint of his fingers, the heat of his hand, like he was still touching me. It was maddening, how much just the brush of his skin against mine affected me. _What was he doing to me?_

" _Bien_. I am…thankful."

Trying to lighten the mood, I reared back and wrinkled my nose at him in mock outrage. "Well, you don't need to make it sound like it'd be your worse hell marrying me. Not a very flattering opinion, Captain." I sniffed disdainfully, then grinned at him to let him know I was only joking.

He blinked, as if not expecting that I would tease him about such a subject. Then his mouth quirked in a playful smile that made my stomach flip upside down. "My worse hell, no. More of a…stimulating venture."

"Uh-huh." I rolled my eyes with a snort and shook my head before watching the horizon, enjoying the calm.

Salazar was silent for a long moment, shifting closer into my personal space. Aside from a slight tensing along my shoulders, it didn't bother me nearly as intensely as it once did. I was getting used to this, to him. To his forceful nature, the unnerving intensity of his focus, the smaller personal space of his culture.

I stilled as a notion occurred to me. Salazar generally went out of his way to make sure he respected my personal space, but sometimes I'd find him uncomfortably close. Usually it was only when we were out on the deck. Was there a reason for that or-

I couldn't control the slight jerk of shock as I realized that there _was_ a reason.

My left side was currently a little chilled, nothing I couldn't ignore, but my right side, the side that Salazar was all but leaning against, was comfortably toasty.

He did this to keep me warm.

Blinking furiously to control the sudden, unexpected blurriness in my eyes, I bit my lip to keep from doing something stupidly embarrassing. Something that suspiciously felt like bursting into tears at this display of attention and kindness. _Why the fuck is this turning me into a goddamn watering pot?! It shouldn't be affecting me like this!_

Warmth tickled in my chest as I grasped that he also went about keeping me warm in such a way that I wouldn't feel as awkwardly uncomfortable as if he'd offered his coat. If he did, I'd more than likely try to refuse, and would probably end up returning to my cabin. Somehow, he'd understood that long before I did, and acted accordingly, to prevent me having to retreat.

His keen perception was downright eerie, yet absolutely amazing at the same time.

The unexpected desire to give him a tight hug in appreciation almost overwhelmed my restraint before I managed to wrestle it under control. _What if I was wrong?_

Yet, in one of my rare instances of certainty, I knew I wasn't. I wasn't sure how, but I knew I wasn't wrong.

 _I_ really _want to give him a hug_ … Absently, I wondered what his reaction would be if I just slipped my arms around his waist and gave him a quick squeeze. Would he stiffen and wait statue-still until I let go? Push me off and coldly distance himself? Or hug me back, with the intensity he'd had in my cabin?

"What are you thinking of?"

"If you'd let me hug you or not," I replied distractedly, then clapped a hand over my mouth as I jolted back to the real world with the horrified realization of what I'd just blurted out.

My wide eyes flashed over to see Salazar watching me, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking. His face was utterly impassive. Was he surprised? Upset? Irritated at my audacity?

 _Never play poker with Armando Salazar_.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I stuttered, "I d-didn't-"

Movement blurred and I blinked to find myself plastered against the heavy broadcloth of his uniform coat, his medals chiming by my ear.

Surprised tension quickly melted from my muscles and I sank eagerly against his heat, his strength. My arms were tucked between me and the firmness of his stomach where I'd tried to catch myself as he tugged me off-balance. I wanted to hug him back, but I'd have to move and I didn't want to, perfectly content right where I was.

Reíno's hugs were pleasant, but they didn't hold a candle to Salazar's. For some reason I should have been worried about that, but at the moment, I really couldn't care less.

"You need only but ask," Salazar murmured, lowering his head until his lips were next to my ear. "And not fear that I will reprimand if you do so. The worst that I will say is no."

"But-" I started, only to snap my mouth shut when he reached up with the hand not clamped around my waist and stroked a finger across the nape of my neck, effectively silencing me. Ticklish chills skittered up the back of my scalp at his touch.

"Look at me."

I resisted the softly spoken command, burying my face in his chest, shifting to snake my arms around his waist and squeeze tightly as I absorbed his heat.

"Isabeau."

I stubbornly shook my head, knowing I was being childish by trying to hide in his waistcoat, but I just wanted to hug him, not go through the Spanish Inquisition!

Salazar sighed in exasperation before sliding his fingers into my hair and grasping firmly, not hurting me, clenching only tight enough that he could pull my head back to meet his eyes. My hair was a lot longer than I'd realized if he could get a grip that easily.

I tried to toss my head free of his grip, but he tugged warningly. I huffed, then gave in, locking my gaze with his.

"If you have not yet noticed, I give you much more free rein than I should. More so than I have given any woman of my acquaintance."

"Why Captain, you mean to say you don't normally let women get away with kicking you in the shin for stealing their pineapple after knowing them only a few days?" I remarked cheekily with mock surprise.

"You _would_ reference that incident." He rolled his eyes, the gesture so startling and unexpected from a Spaniard who was renowned for his ruthlessness that I couldn't help a giggle.

His gaze jerked back to me, eyes widening when he heard me laugh. Deep lines creased his cheeks as he smiled warmly in return. "My point is, if you would like a hug, I do not mind if you ask me. I won't be angered by such a request. I'm a man, not a monster, as you've so kindly reminded me."

Salazar let go of my hair to playfully ruffle his fingers through it, keeping me pinned against him as I struggled to throw him off. He did it the wrong direction on purpose, and I could feel it standing on end as a result.

I blew through my nose, shaking my head to dislodge his hand. "That wasn't nice! You're gonna give me a cowlick!"

His smile widened as his eyes flicked over my hair. "If that is your hair standing straight up in the front, I believe you already have one."

"Thanks _so_ much." I wrinkled my nose, freeing one hand from around his waist to try and flatten his efforts.

He watched me try and fix my hair, his mouth quirking lopsidedly, obviously entertained. "You still address me as _Capitán_."

Pausing, I glanced up at him with a confused look. "Am I not supposed to?"

"You may use my name, if you wish."

I had to stop and sort out the little thrill his permission sent zinging down my spine for some weird reason.

"So, question. You out here for a specific reason other than just to pester me?" I asked, finally managing to smooth down the strange feeling and my ruffled mane, though I could still feel the cowlick. _Whatever. If it bothers him, he shouldn't have messed with my hair._

To my surprise, Salazar's expression melted into something that looked like reluctance, as if he'd enjoyed the lighthearted atmosphere as much as I had and was unwilling to broach whatever subject he'd originally approached me for, other than the details of his feverish seduction. "I did have something I wanted to ask you, aside from what occurred during my fever. Lesaro mentioned that you have worries, concerns. I would like for you to tell me those worries."

Now _that_ I found exasperating, that firm order wrapped deceivingly in a request.

I withdrew from the embrace, thankful when he let go of me without protest, though he did raise an eyebrow when I wrapped my arms around my stomach. I knew it was a defensive posture, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to give voice to my fears. Not when this moment was keeping them quiet at the back of my skull.

"I…not right now, please. I'll tell you later, I promise, just not right now."

For a brief moment, I thought he would push anyway. Just bulldoze over my emotional barrier to get the answers he sought.

His nostrils flared as he took a controlling breath and blew it out, the firm determination fading from his features. "Very well." He nodded in agreement. "Later."

"Thank you. They're…quiet, for the moment. The worries. And I'd like to enjoy it, while I can." I just wanted to take a breath, have a few minutes of freedom from the howling whirl of my anxiety. I knew it'd come back, it always did, but for now, everything was calm.

I turned and leaned back over the railing. The stretch of waves, an expanse that extended as far as the eye could see, was extremely soothing, allowing for thoughts to drift peacefully.

A random memory slid through my mind and I snickered in response.

"Something amuses you?" Salazar's rich baritone buzzed along my skin, and I flicked a glance to see he'd resumed his position next to me.

This time I made sure I was paying attention when I answered him.

"Lesaro made a comment about you being charming during one of the times we talked when he came to check on you." I started giggling, unable to stop for some idiotic reason. "I'm sorry, but I just can't imagine it! I mean, I _know_ you can be charming, I'm sure, but I just…can't-"

I broke off into peals of laughter. Between the piqued expression on his face and just the sheer hilarity of the moment, it was just too much for my poor sense of humor.

"I can be perfectly charming when I so wish." His voice held a disgruntled note as he straightened to his full height, making me have to crane my neck to meet his peeved glower, which grew steadily more peeved as I continued to laugh.

Trying not to ruffle his feathers any more, I worked to swallow my amusement, finally getting my giggling fit under control.

I patted his arm soothingly, struggling hard to not start giggling again at his disdainful look at the gesture. "I'm sorry, I'm just laughing like an idiot because I'm just having a hard time imagining it. You're, well, _you_ ," I gestured to his powerful form towering over me, clad in full military uniform, one hand resting on the hilt of his rapier, with an irked expression on his formidably handsome face, "and it's just difficult to associate that with 'charming'."

Salazar raised an eyebrow, a wickedly calculating look suddenly sliding across his features as I tried to backpedal.

I gulped, immediately aware that, playfulness aside, this was an intimidating, intelligent, incredibly attractive Spaniard to whom I had very little resistance, if any, and I had _literally_ just shoved a challenge in his face. A challenge that called his conduct into question.

 _Oh, shit._

* * *

 **Salazar is so soft, and so fluffy and so playful, and this is a man who executes other human beings with batting an eyelid. I mean, granted, they're murderous scumbags, depending on who you ask, but still.** **(We'll be getting a reminder in a few chapters, don't worry)**

 **But to all those who were guessing that he remembered what happened to his fever, hehe, you were right! It took him a little while, but he remembered! Kinda.**

 **(And we all know he had more fun than he probably should have ruffling Isabeau's hair. ^.^)**


	35. Chapter 35

**Part two of three! *snickers* Isabeau** ** _probably_ ****should have just kept her mouth shut...but in her defense, smexy Spaniards are so much fun to tease. I mean, who could blame her?**

* * *

"A-anyway, don't mind me, just a little tired, and I tend to get stupid when I'm tired, so thank you for the lovely evening, I think I'll go to bed now. Good night, Captain." My words came out in a jumbled rush at the wolfish smile forming on that sensual mouth, stretching wider when I began to nervously back away.

"Leaving so soon, _señorita_?" Salazar purred, moving to follow as I backed towards the stairway that would allow me to run. "Ah, and I thought I asked you to call me by my name, not my rank, yes?"

 _Oh, fuck me, we've done it now!_ His deep, silky accent made hot chills race over my skin and I shivered, both from the husky tone of his voice and the predatory look on his face as he stalked after me.

Sudden, intense awareness of his lithe form, the sheer concentration, that roguish smile, flooded my brain, overwhelming my defenses. _Time to go! Need to escape before we embarrass ourselves! Flee for our lives!_

"Permit me to escort you to your cabin, _bella dama_."

Before I could realize his intent, he overtook me in one smooth stride, and spun gracefully to cut me off, sketching an elegant bow as he held out his hand for me to take.

I'd turned to face him as he'd blocked off my retreat and now stared at his hand warily, uncertain as to what his game was. "I'm not so sure I trust you…"

"Yes, you do." His fingers flexed invitingly, enticing me to grasp the warm strength he offered. "Take my hand."

I wavered, nervous and unsure.

He was right. I did trust him, yet still I hesitated, wary, skittish. This mischievous side was breathtaking, and I wasn't sure I cared for the constant feeling of disorientation every time I looked at him.

The mistake was when I met his gaze, reflexively seeking reassurance.

His dark, serious eyes held the encouragement I sought, along with a roguish glint I'd never seen before. I swallowed my tongue, unable to look away as I found myself ensnared.

A deep, sensuous smile curved on his lips, a smile of alluring promise.

He knew he had me.

" _Confía en mí, bonita amada_. _Toma mi mano_."

The rum-smooth Spanish slid over my skin like silk sheets. Captivated, I slowly slid my hand in his, shivering lightly as his strong fingers closed around mine with a sense of finality, as if he'd been waiting for more than just my hand in his.

A helpless feeling of being trapped immediately washed over me, but I resisted the urge to break free, calmed by the gentle, yet firm clasp of his hand. All I had to do was pull back and I would be released.

Salazar's smile slowly tilted into a wicked smirk and suddenly I sincerely doubted that he'd so easily let go. And I was in a great deal of trouble.

Snaking his arm around mine, he tugged me towards him, even as I started to try and break loose. He tucked my hand firmly under his as he gathered me tightly to his side and with an embarrassing squeak, the next thing I knew I was pressed hard against lean power.

"Shall we, _señorita_?" There was a gleam of dark satisfaction in that intense gaze when I glanced up at him in shock before I found myself strolling next to him, as if we were just any other 18th century couple, meandering along in each other's company.

Except his predatory demeanor didn't change in the slightest, and my brain was currently on overload as to how to handle this.

Too much, too close, too _intense_. He was overwhelmingly predator, and I was prey.

He exuded a devastating aura that made me more acutely aware of him than I'd ever been. Aware of the strength of his frame, the fact that my head didn't even reach his shoulders.

The memory of _everything_ he kept hidden underneath that way-too-attractive uniform beat against the inside of my skull, and I tried to edge away from the steely arm still intertwined with mine, keeping me held against him.

He was having none of it, his stride continuously smooth and easy even as he resisted my efforts to tug free. His bearing remained relaxed, and he was so handsome it almost _hurt_ to look at him. The sheer heat he radiated all but burned along my side where we touched, the rough brush of his uniform against my skin an almost sensual abrasion.

 _We're in the deep end now, girlfriend!_ So _in over our heads!_

The playing field had shifted. It was like this entire time, Salazar had been hiding this side of him behind a veneer of bland unaffectedness, but now I'd poked his self-esteem and he was now unleashing the full weight of the sensual nature I'd glimpsed during his fever.

And it was _all_ concentrated on me.

I'd wandered into dangerous territory, and I had no clue how to navigate out of it, or where the exit even was. I didn't think I'd ever wanted so badly to just _run_.

But unlike this morning, it was his direct presence I sought to bolt from, the strange feelings it triggered, the uncontrollable thoughts bursting to life. Thoughts I had no business thinking, that made my awareness of Salazar's masculine frame even worse.

 _So many weird sensations…_

Unable to escape, barely able to cope, I concentrated on the eagle emblazoned across the _Mary's_ sail, trying to distract myself by admiring the impressive power that the naval vessel displayed, a reflection of the commanding individual next to me.

Ruthlessly, I reminded myself that this mess I was in was only because I'd challenged him, brought his conduct into question, not because of anything in response to me personally.

That helped bring my rapid breathing under control, even as disappointment scored its claws along the inside of my lungs.

"Ah…I believe I begin to understand," Salazar murmured quietly, as if to himself.

"Understand what?" I asked faintly, still not quite composed enough to be able to look at him.

"It would be difficult, I think, for a man to court you," he replied conversationally, jolting me back into focus with a hard yank.

I jerked in surprise, never having expected a comment like _that_ in a million years, yet it somehow sounded like that wasn't what he'd originally had been thinking. Not that it made what he'd said any less outrageous.

" _What?_ " I twisted around to see his face, to see if he was teasing, but when he looked at me, he appeared completely serious.

Salazar's mouth twitched, as if he wanted to smile at my outburst, but his severe expression remained, the muscles under his coat sleeve tensing against my arm, as if he anticipated me trying to break free. "You require a man with patience, confidence, able to read the nuances of what you aren't telling him. A man who is willing to face your intelligence without trying to snuff it out. Willing to soothe your skittish nature before pushing you forwards."

I gaped at him, dumbfounded. Then managed to find my tongue, buried somewhere at the back of my throat. "I don't require a _man_ for anything, thank you very much. I've managed _just_ fine on my own and intend to continue to do so."

"You may intend such, but will find that having a man at your side makes things infinitely easier-" he started.

"Not in my life," I cut him off, a bitter tinge to my voice. "Where I'm from, they're not worth the air they waste."

He halted his easy stride, forcing me to stop with him. "That may be where you are _from_ , but here, men are different."

I gave him a scathing look, unable to believe I was having this conversation. And he had no idea what he'd unleashed.

"Oh yes, much different," I bit out. "Here, women have even fewer rights, fewer liberties, they're simply cattle to be bought and sold by the highest bidder. Heaven forbid that she actually has a thought between her ears, and never say that she wants to do something more than just be a broodmare!" I gasped in mock horror, my irritation overpowering my dazzled thoughts, as if with his words, he'd broken the delicate bubble of the moment.

His head was tilted curiously as he absorbed my words, not seeming to take offense at my vented frustration, then his eyes widened in realization. "These are some of your worries, aren't they? Your concerns for when we reach land?"

 _Lord save me from perceptive Spaniards._

I wearily blew out a breath, tired of constantly resisting him, fighting the strange feelings he created.

"Some." I twisted, wanting to continue walking, not wanting to stand still for my fears to catch up with me.

He obliged my slight tug, moving back into that smooth prowl that belied the deep wound that scarred his knee.

After a moment of tense silence, he spoke. "What I am beginning to understand, is that you are skittish of me because I make you nervous, yes? Not because you are afraid of me, but because I overwhelm you, intimidate you. Not merely with of who I am, but also of what I…portend. You're out of your depth, and it makes you withdraw."

The abrupt change in topics threw me for a loop, until I realized he was respecting my request not to talk about my worries for now. Relief momentarily overwhelmed my awareness.

Then his words sank in.

 _He knows._

 _No, he can't know, you dummy! He's just probing!_

 _You sure about that? This is a man who can tell when we're lying, you know…_

I sucked in a quick breath between my teeth, hoping he wasn't implying what I thought he was. "This whole situation is out of my depth, Captain-"

"Do not play the fool, _Señorita_ Isabeau. It does not become you." His suddenly stern words were belied by the rough stroke of his thumb across the back of my hand where it was firmly clasped under his.

Tingles exploded under my skin.

Sidestepping that landmine, I ignored the insinuation I was imagining, that I was romantically interested in him, and subtly pulled away from where I was still tucked neatly against his body, not wanting to embarrass myself like that.

Or tried to pull away.

Salazar refused to slacken his grip, keeping me pinned against him, electricity buzzing along my arm from the brush of his skin against mine.

He glanced down at me with a small smirk, his thumb still slowly stroking across my hand. "Surely the _señorita_ isn't trying to run from me, is she? I am enjoying spending time with such a beautiful companion, and I must admit to feeling wounded that she seeks to leave me bereft on an exquisite evening like this. Am I truly that boring, _mi querida,_ my company that tiresome?"

 _Beautiful?_

Butterflies swarmed in response to his flattery, even if it was coerced, but his dulcet purr would have made even honey seem bland in comparison. Certainly no match for someone who wasn't immune to flattery in the slightest, even if it was empty. Not from this man.

And I had the suspicion that the Spanish he'd been speaking since I'd teased him about being charming were terms of endearment, but I couldn't call him on it.

 _But_ is _it empty flattery? You know he doesn't lie. Isn't that what empty flattery is?_

I dropped a bucket over the voice and sat on it.

"No, I don't find you boring at all," I replied softly. "You don't have to go quite that overboard on the charm."

Salazar only hummed in response.

Silence stretched between us again, a more comfortable one than last time. Slightly.

"I shouldn't have teased you like that," I admitted grudgingly, trying to squash the heady butterflies that accompanied being so close to him, touching him. Listening to the musical, lilting tones of his accent, even if he did continue to make suggestive comments.

To my astonishment, it was…becoming pleasant, being in an attractive man's company like this. As long as I didn't fall into the trap of thinking he was actually courting me.

The urge to run was still there, but he wasn't going to permit my escape. So once I resigned myself to being captured, I was able to realize that I actually enjoyed this, even if it was only occurring because he was proving a point.

Not that I'd ever let him know I was coming to relish such a situation. Never.

"Hmm, no, you shouldn't have, especially if you do not know how to deal with the consequences, but," he leaned down close to my ear, "I am enjoying that you did."

I knew he felt my shiver at the tickle of his warm breath and I gulped, pleasure vanishing as the butterflies abruptly morphed into something I could barely contain even as my skin warmed to an uncomfortable intensity.

 _He's about to get bit here in a second if he doesn't let go!_

Salazar straightened and finally loosened his grip, just enough that I had some breathing room. Yet it wasn't enough. I could still _feel_ him, but when I tested his hold on my arm, it was as firm as ever.

No, I _really_ shouldn't have teased him like that. Annoyed, I could do. Fuming, I could shrug off. But this Spaniard's meaning of charming?

Charming was twisting my insides into Celtic knots and dragonflies, and I had no one to blame but myself.

 _He'd make an excellent lover_ , that stupid little voice sang, having apparently escaped the bucket. _Just imagine! All that heated muscle moving over you, against you,_ inside _you, that sheer focus concentrated solely on how best to pleasure you, and you_ know _he has experience. I'm sure he wouldn't mind…_ imparting _a few lessons…_

Heated fantasies exploded in my mind like a flashbang and I forcibly shook myself like a wet dog, dislodging the treacherous whispers. I was _not_ going to slip down that path until I was alone and could deal with it. Certainly not while I was attached to the main subject of those fantasies!

I suddenly became aware that the very focus that had sidetracked my thoughts was shifted to me again. My gaze snapped upwards to see him watching me with a faint, satisfied smirk.

"What are you grinning at?" My short tone betrayed my inner turmoil and his smirk only widened.

"Is something bothering you, _señorita_?" he asked innocently.

Too innocently.

I narrowed my eyes at him in suspicion, but his features betrayed nothing of whatever he was thinking. Or what he'd discerned from my mannerisms.

"I'm fine." I struggled not to snap at him, to give away anything else. It was a little scary just how perceptive he was sometimes.

Glancing around, I realized we were almost to the stairway that led to my cabin. He'd led us all the way back the length of the _Mary_.

I eyed the distance, wondering if I could break free and reach it before Salazar caught me, ignoring the delicious shiver produced by the thought of being caught. _Okay, make up your mind; you either want to be free or you want to be captured. You can't have both!_

 _Why the fuck not?_

My mind was quiet for a brief moment.

 _Hey…you remember he's got someone he's already interested in, right?_

 _Yeah, I remember. This means nothing to him. He's just making a point, that's all._

 _But Magda said-_

 _It doesn't mean anything. Don't get any ideas, you idiot, he's not courting me. I insulted him and this is how he's punishing me._

The sudden image of Lady BeKatt singing to Salazar flashed through my mind and I stopped, making the man himself look down at me questioningly.

I ignored him for a moment as I chewed on my lip and pondered quickly. A swift, disorienting lurch had kicked into my stomach at the memory, settling heavy in my stomach and leaving a tight pressure squeezing my chest, an urge building at the back of my throat.

 _I don't want to be alone yet. I want to spend more time-_ I jerked my head, cutting off the train of thought.

What was wrong with me? Hadn't I been wanting to escape since this display had started?

Yet the urge grew until it suddenly slipped from my tongue, breaking free before I could catch it.

"Can we walk around again? Please?"

Salazar twitched in surprise at my words, yet probably not nearly as surprised as I was. But oddly enough a delighted look flashed across his face before it vanished behind a polite demeanor as he nodded. "As you wish."

This time, I'd gotten used to the feel of walking alongside him like this. He kept his strides short, making it so I didn't feel like I was being dragged along. His body heat kept my side cozy warm, and his scent surrounded me in a cloud of heady fragrance.

He'd leashed most of that intense aura, only a bit of it slipping through, and the tension across my shoulders gradually relaxed in response.

Lesaro manned the helm, studiously ignoring us as we passed by, though I could have sworn I saw him smile as he watched us.

I rolled my eyes, but I found myself gravitating closer to Salazar's side. Now that I'd calmed down some more and adjusted to this seriously whacked situation, I could feel those strange little desires flaring to life under my skin. The ones that called for more, more touch, more taste, _more…_

Shoving them to the back of my mind, it amazed me how I'd gone from wanting nothing to do with this Spaniard essentially holding me captive to all but craving his company.

So much had happened in a few short weeks. Had it really been barely a month since I'd woken up on that pirate ship?

To my surprise, Salazar began to hum, a melodic tune that sounded like it would be fun to dance to. If I knew how to dance ballroom.

His lilting baritone washed over me and I closed my eyes, soaking in the sound. _He really has a gorgeous voice._

"Can you sing?" I asked curiously.

The humming broke off with a deep chuckle. "Only if I have had enough to drink."

I opened my eyes at the unexpected response and cracked a smile. "Remind me to get you drunk some time."

"What makes you think I would be interested in singing if I were to drink too much, _señorita_? I might be more interested in making _you_ sing."

Innocent words, yet the sultry undertone suggested something far different than simply singing.

I squirmed, uncertain if I was imagining things or not, then decided to sidestep his comment. "On second thought, maybe not. You might be one of those drunks that start waxing poetic and nothing's worse than a drunk poet."

He laughed at that and resumed humming quietly, the thick atmosphere lifting at his amusement.

Listening to him soothed me enough that I felt I could answer his earlier request. "Do you still want me to tell you about my fears?"

The calming sound halted and he was silent for a long moment, his strides becoming slower and slower until he stopped altogether, smoothly turning to face me fully.

I didn't look up, trying to distract myself from my offer by concentrating on the neat trail of buttons down the center of his waistcoat, the intricate stitching of his longcoat. I absently wondered why he never wore it buttoned when the rest of his appearance was so tidy.

"Do you wish to do so now? I will abide your request to wait if not."

And he would. For all his sternness, for all his temper, he was always willing to back off if I was too strained. Was willing to give me the time and space I needed where it mattered the most.

I sucked in a deep breath and fixated my focus on the silver threads in his waistcoat, shivering as the breeze sent goosebumps rippling down my arms. I insanely wished I could hug Salazar again, to soak in the heat he generated like a bonfire. "How much did Lesaro tell you?"

Instead of answering my question right away, Salazar released my arm, stepping away from me.

* * *

 **Translations (Courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Confía en mí, bonita amada_. _Toma mi mano -_ Trust in me, beautiful beloved. Take my hand.

 _bella dama_ \- beautiful lady

 _mi querida_ \- my darling/dear

 **Oooohhh, boy. Salazar is _way_ above Isabeau's paygrade, but somehow...I doubt he cares. *smirks* And yes, he enjoys making her blush very much.**

 **And what. He let go of her. Where's he going?**


	36. Chapter 36

**(Part three of three) Where's he going? _Where's he go-_ oh. Never mind.**

* * *

I glanced up in surprise, only to see he was sliding off his coat. Perplexed, I watched as he moved and draped the coat over my shoulders, immediately swamping me in the garment.

This time, my shiver was from the spicy heat emanating from the material and it took everything I had not to instinctively bury my nose in the collar. But the urge to snuggle in his coat was too strong to resist, and I did so with a happy little sigh, striving to ignore the sight of his mouthwatering form, sans coat.

His mouth quirked into a half-smile as he watched me, an odd expression on his face. "He did not tell me more than that you were plagued with worries. But he is concerned."

I inhaled sharply through my nose and fiddled with the outlandish cuffs of his coat. "He should have just told you and saved me the trouble."

"I am not so certain he completely understands your worries, which was why he'd rather they came from you." He moved around me to prop a hip against one of the few crates still stacked on the deck. "I agree. If Lesaro had told me your concerns, he would not be able to do so in the context that you can give me."

I wrinkled my nose, but understood what he was getting at. Hopping up to sit on the crate next to him, I crossed my legs and pulled his coat around me, using his scent and his heat to bolster my courage. How the hell could I be so panicked and yet feel so empowered from the same man? It was beyond confusing. Why couldn't he have come with a Dummy's Guide for Management of Overwhelming Spaniards?

To be honest, it actually amazed me at how mellow Salazar was acting. I had been somewhat expecting him to jump at the first opportunity for me to comply with his questioning, but he was being very calm and as docile as I suspected he was capable of being.

But it was only because of his tranquil mood that I gathered the nerve to ask, "What are you planning to do with me when we reach land?"

I didn't really want to know the answer, found myself quite at home aboard the _Mary_ , and I didn't want my little world upheaved like I knew it was going to be.

Yet it surprised me when Salazar looked at me with a bemused expression. "You make it sound like you are simply unwanted cargo."

My lips twisted wryly. "Aren't I, though?"

"You are not." His clipped answer made me jerk back, startled, even as he continued, "There is an…emissary, on Isla de Salís, that I trust. He will take you to España, to the home of a friend of mine, who will be willing to look after you until I return, teach you how to be…proper. Assuming, of course, this is agreeable to you."

For the first time since I'd met him, he sounded uncertain, hesitant. Unsure.

Frowning slightly, not pleased with what he was implying, I shifted around on my perch until I was facing him. "Translating to, you're sending me off to be reprogrammed, sorry, _retrained_ , in order to conform to society standards?"

Salazar looked even more uncomfortable with his offer put so bluntly. " _Sí_. If you accept, naturally."

I had so many problems with that, I had absolutely no idea where to begin. I mean, I knew I couldn't continue in this time as I was, assuming I didn't get sent back anytime soon, or at all-

I quickly shoved the nauseating thought under a rock. "And you finish your campaign, return home…then what?"

"I…do not know."

I blinked, stunned by how quiet his voice had become. He sounded almost…confused? I bit my lip, then blurted, "Salazar, I don't want to live off of your charity. You've already done more than enough for me."

Salazar's head jerked up. His brow lifted to an arrogant tilt as he twisted to level a stare at me. "I assume you have a plan, then, for once we reach port?"

Embarrassment flushed my cheeks and I glanced away. "No, but…" I sighed, my thoughts beginning to pick up speed, faster and faster, until I couldn't take it anymore. "I don't like this time period. I hate it, it's so fucking _backwards_!"

Not having expected my sudden vehemence, Salazar jerked slightly, his frame tensing as his gaze narrowed at my abrupt words.

My voice had been louder than I'd intended, but a quick glance confirmed that it was just us on the deck. Everyone else had vanished, except Lesaro, but I doubted he could hear us.

"You want my worries, here's my worries. This time is so fucking stupid. _Steam_ hasn't even been invented yet, so anything I tell you about the future has absolutely no comparison. Literally. You have nothing to compare it to, so it sounds like fucking magic. People flying around in metal birds? Witchcraft! Horseless carriages driving themselves? Black magic! Don't _even_ get me started on the sorcery that's a computer!" I waved my arms around, probably looking like a deranged midget in his overly large coat. Whatever.

"And then there's how men treat women. Women have absolutely no rights, barely any worth, a _fucking hound dog_ is considered to have more worth, and women are just-just-!" My fingers curled into claws and I choked the air in frustration. This was why I hadn't wanted to get started with this! I was suddenly so angry now, so frustrated, and scared, but the words were bubbling over my tongue like acid.

Salazar quickly slid in front of me, grasping my hands and squeezing them in his, holding them against his chest. His gaze remained steady on my face. "Don't stop. Keep talking."

My eyes stared blankly at his chest as the panic began to make my heart race. "I'm scared. Medicine is basically useless, if it can even be _called_ medicine. What happens if I get a wound serious enough to need stitches? I probably know more about basic care than any man who calls himself a doctor here, but _heaven forbid_ I should say anything. He'd probably just douse it with some vinegar soaked concoction and say call him in two weeks, after the blood poisoning's set in. _They cut peoples' hair to reduce fever_. What the fuck! Oh, and let's talk about bloodletting. Are they throwing up? Draw some blood. Mysterious ailments? Draw some blood. Got a runny nose? _Slice open a vein!_ "

By now I was completely freaked out, trembling so hard my teeth were chattering.

Salazar made soothing noises and pulled me upright, my perch putting me slightly taller than him while on my knees. He drew my arms around his neck and wrapped his own tightly around my waist, pressing me close as he murmured soft Spanish in my ear. His coat slid down my back to crumple over my legs.

Shudders wracked my frame. "I'm scared. I'm so scared, Salazar. So, so scared. There's so many diseases out there that I don't have an immunity to- oh, wait, germs aren't even a thing yet! People die from the fucking flu all the time! People get sick and die because they have no goddamn clue what a virus is! Or heaven forbid someone is seen as sick because some idiot got the bright idea that they're cursed or possessed or whatever the fuck backwater excuse they use. Don't _even_ get me started on what they do to women they think are 'hysterical'!" I spat the word like the disgusting term it was. "The ignorant things that are done to innocent people-it's enough to make a serial killer vomit! And it's probably even worse that I think it is!"

My words rambled disjointedly with my thoughts. I barely even noticed when Salazar backed up, pulling me with him until my feet slipped off the crate. I tightened my hold around his neck as he held me upright, pressing his cheek against mine as he took in all my fears.

Violent trembling rippled through my body and I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering as the anxiety made me almost physically ill. My eyes started burning and I buried my face into his waistcoat collar before the tears could slip free. "I'm scared of what will happen to me if someone thinks I'm crazy. If I get locked up in an asylum. No one would believe me if I said I wasn't. I won't go through the things I've read they do to people, I won't. I'll kill myself first."

The arms clasped around me abruptly squeezed painfully tight, making me squeak in protest.

Salazar immediately loosened his grasp, but only enough that I didn't feel my ribs creaking. Gentle whispers of Spanish gradually calmed me to the point where I wasn't shaking like a leaf, but my pulse was still way too fast. Yet the whirling thoughts were greatly quieted compared to the intensity they usually were, as if his embrace was keeping them at bay.

His chest expanded as he took a deep breath. "I had not realized how difficult this has been for you. Indeed, I hadn't even come close to comprehending the scale of your concern. I knew you were having difficulties, but I didn't-"

He broke off with a harsh sigh, his jaw flickering against my temple as he clenched his teeth.

Panting for breath, I concentrated on steadying my breathing, hoping my heart rate would drop as well. I could hear it in my ears. Vaguely, I noticed my feet were several inches off the deck as I yawned from the sudden exhaustion these panics always left in their wake, hyperventilating as my jaw stretched.

Reflexively, my arms squeezed tighter around his neck, then I forced myself to let go, needing to breath, needing to collect my thoughts, to settle the panicked roar.

Something that was really difficult to do while I was plastered against him, even though I appreciated his comfort more than he could ever know.

"Put me down, please," I asked gently, when everything inside me practically screamed to squeeze tighter, to soak up his unwavering energy, to draw every last bit of consolation that I could.

For a long moment, I honestly thought he was going to refuse. His entire body stiffened against me, and I felt the slight tremor that went through his frame. My eyes went wide and I was glad he couldn't see the shock on my face. What had affected him so greatly to trigger that sort of reaction?

"I'm okay, I promise. You can let go."

But Salazar didn't release me. I was only lowered until my feet touched the deck, still clamped tightly in his arms.

I didn't have it in me to struggle. I was too worn out, could only rest my forehead on his shoulder, my eyes fixating on the well-crafted threads in his waistcoat as I waited for what he was going to say.

Surprise drowned out most of the whirling what ifs when he rested his chin on top of my head. It was such an unexpected gesture, and I couldn't help but feel…safe, held tightly in his embrace.

"I must…apologize."

Convulsively swallowing at the remorse in his voice, I twisted to bury my face in the intricately tied knot of his cravat. My arms slid around his waist to clench the back of his waistcoat. "You don't need to. It's not something you would have-"

Salazar shifted his hold, sliding one hand up to rest an almost scalding palm across the back of my neck, instantly sucking the words out of my mouth. "Let me finish, _por favor_. This is already difficult."

I breathed in his scent, that wonderful spice, threaded with tobacco smoke and sun-warmed fabric. He smelled so _good_ …

He sighed heavily. "I can at least ease your mind on one account. Medicine is more advanced than you perceive, yet there are many who still use medieval methods. But you would never find such a thing aboard _la Maria._ I swear this to you. As for the rest…I am afraid you are not wrong."

Icy fingers of dismay skittered across my skin and he felt me tremble. Rubbing his free hand soothingly up and down my back, his voice rumbled through my chest. "But I will see to it that you are safe. You are under my protection."

This time, the chill wasn't cold, wasn't from my dread, but something else. Something far more complicated, that warmed and purred with delight at hearing his words.

But what did being under his protection mean? I felt so lost, adrift in a strange world not my own, without any way of knowing how to get back. It was possible that I would be trapped here until I died. It wouldn't be so bad if I could have stayed on the _Mary_ , but I knew that wasn't a possibility. She was being redeployed as soon as she'd restocked her supplies to resume hunting pirates. And despite the lull she'd experienced so far, I wasn't about to delude myself into thinking that it was going to stay that way.

With a deep breath filled with Salazar's scent, I strove to let go of my dread. It was an uphill battle, a familiar one, and I knew they'd just swarm again at the drop of a hat. But he'd promised. And I knew that he kept his promises, for better or for worse. "Thank you. It helps…to hear that."

And it did.

Exhausted, I slumped against him with another wide yawn, tension draining from my limbs like water sluicing down my skin. He continued to utter soft Spanish and offer his strength as I leaned into his strong chest. I felt awful to always be using the poor man as a crutch, but for a naval captain renowned for his lack of mercy, he strangely didn't seem to mind all of my ugly little breakdowns. Either that or he hid his irritation very well. But still… "Salazar?"

"Hm?"

"Does it annoy you having to deal with me when I get like this?" I asked tentatively. It was really disturbing that I always seemed to turn into an emotional mess at what seemed like every turn, but I knew that in this situation, it really couldn't be helped. And I tried not to let my weakness upset me too much. "I'm really sorry that I keep falling apart on you like this."

"No, it doesn't irritate me."

My face twisted into a sardonic expression. "You wouldn't be saying that just to spare my feelings, would you?"

A deep hum rumbled through his chest before his fingers lightly grazed over my lower back. It tickled and made me yip as my muscles flexed away from his touch, pressing my chest further into his. I tried to ignore the tingling feel of hard muscle against my breasts, but my mouth still went dry.

"Troublesome _chica_." He settled his hot palm against my spine, stilling the muscle spasms. "I am not simply sparing your feelings in this instance. It is the truth. You are stronger than you realize, Isabeau. Do not forget that."

Those words sank under the armor of disconnection I used to keep everything at bay and flowed along my skin like the warmest of caresses.

Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes at the quiet strength in his voice, the certainty of what he said making an odd tightness build in my throat.

I wanted to believe him, so badly, but that a someone like Salazar, someone renowned as _el Matador del Mar_ , had uttered words such as those was nigh implausible. Even more so in relation to me. I wasn't worthy of his praise, and I knew it.

"Thank you," I whispered against his cravat, grateful for his words even if I didn't believe him.

He didn't answer, only continued to hold me, an embrace reminiscent of the one that we'd shared after he woke from his fever.

Salazar was a man I'd known less than a month, a man that seemed as stern and indomitable as the ship he commanded. But I was almost positive I wasn't the only one drawing solace from this comfort.

For long minutes, we stood like that, and eventually I realized just how intimate this was, how anyone else walking by would construe this, would mistakenly assume something far more nefarious than a simple hug.

 _Do I want it to be more than a simple hug?_

Swallowing my suddenly dry tongue, I pressed back against his hold, wanting both for him to let go and to keep holding me. But I knew that nothing could come of…whatever this was. I was already dangerously attached, growing more so as the evening progressed, and I needed to keep my distance. Needed to remind myself of my place.

I couldn't budge.

Lean muscles abruptly flexed in response to my movement, resisting my efforts to increase the space between my chest and the masculine one I was plastered to.

 _Why isn't he letting go?_

Bewildered, I leaned back so I could look up at Salazar's face, to try and discern what he was thinking.

Dark, clear eyes met mine, unreadable as ever. Yet this time, the intense concentration sent tingles skittering down my spine, bringing to mind the feel of his heavy weight pinning me underneath him, his hot mouth pressing kisses against my neck, all the _pleasurable_ things he was capable of if he felt so inclined…

I struggled to hide my thoughts, but with his heat searing my skin, the strength of his arms surrounding me, I was powerless to hold back against the strange desires swamping my body. Desires that urged me to stretch up, and brush my mouth against his…

As I watched, that dark gaze shadowed into molten determination. A growl vibrated through his chest, a hungry sound that slowed my brain to a sluggish crawl and made deep muscles clench in response.

Slowly, arms tightened around me, pulling me close as Salazar's head inched lower, his stare capturing mine before dropping to my lips. " _La tentación._ "

Lips that suddenly felt too dry at that ragged whisper and I instinctively flicked my tongue to wet them.

I sucked in a short breath when his focus sharpened at the movement, the expression on his face making me tremble. His eyes flashed back to mine and I felt hypnotized at the flare of heat in them, ensnared, as his firm, sensuous mouth grew closer.

Salazar's face was a mere fraction from my own, our gazes locked. I could feel the warmth of his slightly unsteady breathing on my skin…

A loud crash came from behind me and I jumped like I'd been zapped with a cattle prod.

Salazar abruptly pulled away, carefully setting me to the side as he hurriedly went to investigate the source of the noise.

I weakly leaned against a nearby cannon, grateful for the reprieve, the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears loud enough to drown out his voice snapping harsh words in Spanish, berating somebody.

 _What…what was that…that look on his face, that intent…_

Air rasped in my lungs as I wrapped a hand around my throat, panting as I tried to sort through what'd just happened. What had been about to happen.

Because if I didn't know any better, if I was more prone to romantic reveries and self-delusion, I would have sworn…

That Salazar had been about to kiss me.

I shook my head firmly. _No. That wasn't it. There's no way. He already has someone he cares about, remember? If anything, we should be turned off by his behavior so far if that's the case._

 _Yup…but that looked damned close to him about to kiss us. And let's face it. If he had, we'd have let it happen. And totally enjoyed it._

I grimaced, knowing it was both right and wrong. _Assuming of course we didn't panic and run away beforehand._

My mind snorted in response. _Somehow, I doubt he'd be letting us run away. You_ did _try to escape, remember? And couldn't even make him budge. I think that if he wanted to kiss us, there'd be very little we could do to escape if he decided we weren't going anywhere._

"That's neither here nor there," I muttered out loud. "Just imagining things, and that's all there is to it. So let's not be stupid and start imagining shit that's never gonna happen."

I shook myself, trying to shake off the hot tension firing along my nerves, but the cool air only served to reinforce the feel of hot muscle firmly imprinted into my flesh, the lean chest I'd been pressed against. The strong arms wrapped around me, effortlessly keeping me still in his embrace.

He'd held me like that before, ignoring my struggles to break free, keeping me pinned against him, always sending a stupid little thrill singing under my skin. But this time, it had been different. A different sort of holding, an awareness seeping into everywhere he'd touched. That this was a man who was not afraid to take what he wanted, who knew how to coax and entice a response to his demands-

I shook again, harder this time, trying to rattle my brains into some semblance of rational thought.

It didn't help, heat still flickering under my skin, tingling between my thighs, making my skin burn in all the places he'd touched.

Composing myself outwardly, I carefully folded Salazar's abandoned coat and neatly placed it on the crate I'd been sitting on. Hopefully, he'd return for it, because I simply didn't have it in me to go chasing the man down. At the moment, my emotions were too raw, and I needed to mentally regroup before I found myself in his arms again.

Stroking my fingers over his medals, I carefully tried to imprint everything he'd said into memory, but already I was struggling to recall his words, my memory quick to fade as usual.

Certain ones were carved bone deep, though.

 _You are under my protection._

A thrill tickled down my spine again at recalling that deep timbre. I had a sinking suspicion that as much as I was trying to resist it, there was a tendre developing for a certain Spanish captain.

And I was in so much trouble.

Without warning, exhaustion suddenly swept through me on a tidal wave, and I immediately recognized the signs that I was crashing, hard.

Heaving a weary sigh, I made my way back to my cabin, not wanting to talk to anyone, not even wanting to see anyone. Salazar had worn me to the bone, and not in a fun way either, though the worries were quieter than I could ever remember them being.

I glanced over at where Salazar was overseeing two crewmen moving barrels, and I surmised that the crash must have been one being dropped and breaking.

As usual, my normal invisibility failed me where the captain was concerned, and he pinned me with a fierce stare. I froze, wondering if I had enough energy if he decided he wasn't through with me for the night, not knowing what I would do if he did.

Salazar remained still for a long moment, obviously debating letting me go, then nodded slightly, tilting his head towards where my bed awaited but gave me a meaningful glance.

I got the message loud and clear. _Until tomorrow. We aren't done yet_.

Luckily, the corridor was empty as I slipped into my cabin, quietly clicking the door shut behind me. The insane urge to turn around and go back to finish whatever it was Salazar had started would've more than likely overwhelmed me if it wasn't taking everything I had simply to stand upright.

I was utterly drained, already tired before the evening had begun, but with the stress of being put in the spotlight, and then my impromptu lesson in charming Spaniards, my eyes were burning and nausea squeezed my throat.

I didn't even think twice about not bathing. Everything could wait until tomorrow.

Barely able to strip out of my clothes and into my pajamas, I flopped onto the bed, not even bothering to cover up with the blankets.

My brain whirled madly, but it was chaotic, wordless thoughts, nothing focused, nothing fixated. Just a colorful jumble of insanity that I couldn't make heads or tails of. I had a great many things to think about, but no idea where to start, no sounding board to bounce my madness off of, and no energy or desire to deal with it tonight.

All the craziness was gently pushed to the side and I slowly wiggled under the warm covers, also shoving aside that my bed felt empty with just me in it.

Yet even as I quickly drifted off, I imagined having warm arms wrapped around me, pulling me tight against a solid chest. Firm heat pressing along my body as I was held close in the safety of a heavy embrace, the smell of spice filling my nose…

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _La tentación -_ Temptation/enticement

 **Poor Isabeau...it just never ends for her, does it? But on the bright side, she's got one tasty Spaniard to help her work through it. :3 So that's a definite plus.** **(For those that don't read historical romance like it's going outta style, a 'tendre' is basically a term for developing a romantic affection between two people.)**

 **Also. *strangles/chokes air* He was so close! They were this close to kissing and were friggin' _interrupted_! Arlgrfidjflsiekdfj!**


	37. Chapter 37

**And we're off! I know, I know, I said I was gonna try and keep the waits short, but I swear, it seems like the universe itself is out to get me! Just a lot has been going on with life, lots of personal stuff (why can't it every be happy stuff, like winning the lottery?), and slowly having one too many birthdays. Did you know that too many birthdays is bad for you? No, seriously. No joke. (Just a little joke :P)**

 **Anyhoo, no Salazar this chapter (will be making up for chapter after next, promise). This update is taking a bit of a...different turn. See, originally Lady BeKatt wasn't supposed to be a multi-dimensional character, but like characters sometimes do, seems to have taken up a life of her own. In part of that is nettacartwright (or acutecupidity) for helping me expand upon the good Lady's personality, and you know what, I'm actually really intrigued to see where this goes! So thank you, you gorgeous soul, for helping me realize what an amazing facet to this journey I almost missed! (Also hope you don't get too upset with the ups and downs she goes through to get to where she needs to go *laughs nervously*)**

* * *

It was early for me yet, and I still had time to sleep, which I knew I needed, but I found myself wide awake and staring at the wooden boards making up my ceiling. The shadows were gradually dimming and vibrant annoyance snarled in my throat at being exhausted, yet unable to sleep.

But I knew exactly what had woken me up.

More fucking _dreams._

They were steadily growing worse, and not even writing them down in my logbook was enough to make them lessen anymore. Not only that, but apparently my imagination was better than I'd thought.

Starting to get desperate, I'd tried to take the edge off a couple of times, but it just devolved into me fantasizing about powerful hands smoothing across my skin, lean fingers becoming more and more wicked until I found myself in a worse place than where I started.

Lack of sleep was going to make me very bitchy.

I groaned and rolled over, punching my pillow a couple times before flopping down with an irritated huff. I always hated it when I couldn't sleep and I was already tired. But I was awake now. There would be no going back to sleep.

However, that didn't mean I had to get out of bed. Yet I didn't want to spin useless circles in my head either, which would be all too easy to do, what with the events of last night.

I just felt… confused. And very tired.

Salazar was a very complex man that hid his emotions well. I couldn't make heads or tails of him.

If that barrel hadn't crashed, what would have happened? Would he actually have kissed me? Or would he have come to his senses to realize just what he was doing? And how had that happened? One minute, I was panicking like a squirrel on fire, and the next…

 _How_ had I wound up in his arms like that?

I buried my face in the pillow with a muffled moan. _This is giving me a headache._

One thing was for certain. It was a far cry different than the first time I'd met the captain.

A giggle bubbled in my chest at the thought of his reaction if someone had told him he'd be flirting with the strange creature he'd plucked from that pirate ship, even if it was only to teach her a lesson.

And what the hell happened to "staying away from him"?

 _Hey man, wasn't my fault. You're the one that egged him on with talk about his 'lack of charm'._

 _Okay, new plan. We ignore everything that happened, avoid him at costs, and disembark with our sanity intact. How 'bout that?_

If my mental voice had a face, it would be wearing a look of disbelief. _Uh-huh…let me know how that works out for ya. Because I don't think there's a damn thing you can do if Salazar decides to ignore your "plan"._

Blowing a restless sigh, I shoved the thoughts of Salazar to the background of my brain and grudgingly got up. My ribs felt almost normal, which was a huge relief, and my energy level was quickly returning, though I would have to be careful not to push too far so soon.

It was only a few minutes after I'd finished dressing, deciding to wear my anklet today, that I heard a knock on the door, two quick raps that I'd come to recognize.

I opened the door to see Lesaro on the other side, a tense look on his face.

"You look upset," I observed with my head tilted slightly, wondering if I'd done something to piss him off, yet logically I hadn't even been awake long enough to do so.

Lesaro muttered darkly under his breath in Spanish, then switched to English and raised his tone so I could hear him. "You will be accompanying Miguel this morn, as I must finish with assignments before I require your assistance. Miguel has already been informed and-"

A sudden, piercing noise, a mix between a shrill caterwaul and an outright wail, interrupted him and we both flinched. Lesaro's eye squeezed shut and his mouth flattened, lips twitching as he fought a snarl.

I hunched my shoulders in guilty suspicion. "What happened now?"

Lesaro inhaled deeply through his nose before answering, his eye still closed. " _Someone_ swapped out her hair ointment with a congealing adhesive that is used in the mixture to repair leaks. It is difficult to wash off, especially if other items are mixed with it. It could be overlooked if _I_ wasn't the one having to deal with her in the aftermath, but _as it is-_ " he broke off with a gesture of tense fury, lip curling in disgust.

I eyed his visibly trembling hands as he fought for calm, my guilt surging anew. "Is there something in particular that needs to be used to wash it out?"

"No. It just requires time and patience, two things I do _not_ have in relation to that-that-" he spat out a word I guessed would never be used in polite company that could understand him.

Struggling hard not to look like I knew anything at all, I offered, "I'll do it. Somehow I doubt it would go over well if you strangled her."

"Oh, I won't kill her. I'll drug the witch first," Lesaro growled, "and then send her back to that wretched, sinking hulk we plucked her from."

Trying not to smile at the lieutenant's empty threats, I placed my hand on his arm and gave him a gentle nudge towards the open deck. "Go ahead and finish your assignment, Guillermo. I'll take care of the banshee." _It's my fault she's screeching at you, after all._

Sighing, Lesaro pinched the bridge of his nose. "If only it was a possibility for her to suddenly find herself in the brig."

"I don't think the captain would stand for that," I murmured, mind darting back to last night's events with said captain.

Lesaro straightened, unaware of the direction my thoughts had taken. "Speaking of, the _capitán_ wishes for you to dine with him tonight after the eve shift change, shortly after you'll be finished assisting me."

At my nod of acknowledgement, he gave me a clipped bow, then twisted and made his way up the stairs, leaving me to my probably unpleasant chore.

I cringed in dread, rubbing the back of my head awkwardly as I made my way towards Lady BeKatt's quarters, my anklet chiming quietly as I walked. It was silent on the other side of the door when I knocked, then very quietly I heard, "Come in."

Uncertain as to her emotional state, I opened the door, remembering what Lesaro had done only when I had to forcefully shoulder it open.

Curiously, I looked around, recognizing the layout as similar to Salazar's quarters, though it was much smaller and with noticeable differences. It had large bay windows like his did, but the bookshelves were missing, as was the huge desk and the dining table. Instead, the bed was placed in the far left corner, with the dresser and small washbasin tucked on the wall opposite, with just a plush armchair on the other side of the room.

It was very dark and, to me, very cozy.

I wondered why this wasn't Lesaro's quarters, but was distracted from that train of thought when I saw Lady BeKatt slumped on the floor next to the bed, still and quiet.

 _She looks like a doll. Like someone cut her strings and just left her on the floor._

I painfully bit my tongue to keep from apologizing profusely, trying to tell myself that there were other people to share the guilt, but still, I'd been the one responsible for the thick, sticky rope that was her hair.

She was dressed in what I figured to be her chemise and dressing robe, and she hadn't bothered to look up to see who had barged in.

She looked…beaten.

 _Did I do this?_

"If you find any marbles down there, they're probably mine," I quipped, setting aside my self-disgust for later and moving forward to see that water was in the washbasin, along with some more in buckets alongside the tub.

"What on earth are you blathering about?" Her sharp tone sliced through the still air like a razor blade.

 _Maybe not so beaten after all?_

"I'm blathering about my craziness. You know, lost your marbles? Got a screw loose? Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?" I was just messing with her at this point, as I doubted she'd appreciate pity. She seemed too prideful for that.

"You're mad," she bit out, still not moving from her spot drooped on the floor.

"That's what I was getting at. Alright, up you get and into the tub." I felt the water and was glad that it was still warm. Should make it a lot easier to get the goop out of her hair.

She didn't move. Hadn't even looked up at me since I'd walked in. "It's no use…"

I paused and looked down at her. "What?"

"It's not use," she repeated with more forceful volume. "I am trapped on this accursed ship, soon to be dropped off some godforsaken island like so much luggage, with no way or money to pay for passage back to England. I am having to deal with imbeciles and uncivilized brutes and small bits of baggage that don't know their place!"

Complaints similar to my own, yet the tone of it seemed drastically different.

"You're not whining, are you." I felt pity, but not enough for that. I didn't do whining. I understood panic and anxiety and worries, but complaining simply because you felt like it was the end of the world and no one understood your woes when people were willing to help was something I couldn't stand.

"What would you care?!" Lady BeKatt finally lifted her head and tear streaks visibly ran down her cheeks.

My heart sank as I realized that as proud and undefeated as she'd been, she seemed to have finally reached her limits.

"Come on. I'll wash your hair," I offered gently, motioning for her to get in the bath. "You don't want to stain the rug."

With a weary sigh, she clambered gracelessly to her feet, slowly taking off her dressing gown before finally peeling off her chemise.

I tried to not stare, but I couldn't blame myself. She had a _gorgeous_ body, long, lean, with smooth, milky, skin, even though still sporting the red patches from Magda's earlier prank.

 _Welp, at least our personality's better,_ the voice said dejectedly.

 _That's what they say matters, right?_ I answered, trying to cheer myself up, but I couldn't help but be slightly depressed that someone like her had the body that I'd always tried so hard to strive for, yet simply had the wrong build to achieve.

She sank into the tub and hunched over, wrapping her arms around her knees in a dejected ball.

Silently, I picked up the long rope of her hair. It was a mess. Whatever Magda had used felt like thick glue sticking the strands together. I hoped that like glue, it would dissolve better with hot water.

Gently dipping two inches into the water, I was relieved to see that it did seem to react like glue. I started scrubbing, remaining silent. I wanted to apologize so badly I had to chew on my cheek until I tasted blood, but at the same time, I didn't want to have her screeching in my ear while I was trying to help her.

"Why did this happen to me?"

I almost didn't hear the quiet whisper. "You mean the adhesive?"

"All of it. The foul pranks, the pirates, the _Bountiful_ , my husband, his brother, _all of it_." Her shoulders trembled as if she was struggling not to cry.

I grimaced, grateful she couldn't see my face. I wasn't responsible for most of that, but I certainly hadn't helped. Then again, it wasn't like she'd made it easy either. "Isn't that just the way the world turns?"

"It would appear so," she muttered, twisting her head to the side as I carefully unglued her hair, using the bucket to scoop more water and pour it over the mess.

I kept silent, concentrating on my task, falling into the familiar role of being a sympathetic ear.

She sighed again, then finally said, "Sometimes, though, I find myself wondering if this _is_ truly all there is to the world. Just marry, be a dutiful wife, bend to all your husband's wishes, bear a child, and die. Sometimes, I _know_ that there is something more, but…"

She trailed off, slowly uncurling from her ball. "I had a friend once, a long, long time ago. When she and I were different people. We lost contact with each other for years, then I happened upon her one day while out shopping. She was walking with a man, I assume her husband, with two little girls with her. The look on her face-" she broke off with a choked noise that sounded almost like a sob.

And then I understood.

Lady BeKatt was a woman who just wanted to be loved more than anything, yet in one of life's cruelest ironies and through a miserable, torturous marriage, had forbidden herself to want such a thing. Had come to see as a thing to be bartered and used like money. Had been abandoned and betrayed by the very thing she yearned for.

Had been wrenched out of all her dreams of love and to be loved, and had been forced to endure pain and heartache in return. Heartbroken of life.

"Oh, boy," I sighed, wishing I knew what words to say to comfort her. I didn't want to feel sorry for her, didn't want to feel compassion. She was a cold, venomous harpy, not caring about those she scratched bloody with her claws. Wasn't she? Yet sometimes, the faint glimpses that broke through every now and then...

"How are you still standing?" Lady BeKatt asked morosely, "How do you still keep moving forward?"

I snorted, running my fingers through her mahogany mane. "I break down every now and then, but I keep getting back up. I don't have a choice. Too many depend on me." My animals never cared if I was depressed or if the world stopped turning. They just wanted their food.

 _You are stronger than you know._

I smiled softly at the deep voice trickling through my thoughts. "Plus, I have people who help me stand upright by letting me lean on them from time to time."

Finally having worked my way up to her neck, I massaged my fingers into her scalp, working the warm water deeply into the adhesive. "So, I know you may not want it, but I have some advice for you. I know you've been hurt, I know you're damaged, but if you want what you saw your friend have, you'll have to make some changes to yourself."

"You know nothing about me," she spat bitterly, twitching away from my fingers.

I leaned back and stared over her head for a long minute, ignoring her when she twisted around to look at me with hostile curiosity when I didn't respond.

Chewing on my lip for a second, I gathered my thoughts together and said slowly, "Being cruel to people because of how your husband and his brother treated you makes you like them. Hurting people that don't deserve your contempt. I know it's human nature to lash out when we're wounded, but if you can't overcome that urge, you'll never be someone who would be worthy of another's love like what you want."

Stepping away from the tub, I crossed my legs and sat on the floor, staring blankly at my hands as I contemplated what I was saying, and realizing that it also could also apply to me in a way. "And you have to learn how to trust people, to see that they aren't objects or monsters, just people."

I looked up to see she was watching me closely during my reflections. I couldn't read her expression well enough to tell what she'd gotten out of all that, but she was listening.

I figured there was only one place to start. "And my best advice? Get a puppy."

She instantly recoiled, wrinkling her nose as if I'd told her to roll in horse shit. "A dog? A filthy, stinking _dog?_ You are out of your mind, girl."

Shrugging, I clarified, "Or a cat then. A pet, something that'll give you affection in return for your own. It's a place to start. I suggested a dog simply because they tend to be more affectionate overall versus cats. Though never tell me cats are aloof, independent creatures. I've had way too many accompany me every time I go to the bathroom to believe that lie."

"A cat…" There seemed an almost wistful note in her voice.

 _We getting somewhere?_ The little voice sounded hopeful.

I gave her a tentative smile. "Do you like cats?"

Lady BeKatt looked down into the murky water in the tub, a slightly vulnerable look on her face. "I've always thought there was such an elegance to the creatures. A wild gracefulness that isn't present in most animals. They come and go as they please, and nobility is nothing to them. They would be just as comfortable curling up on tattered rags as a throne."

Nodding decisively, I stood and worked my fingers through her hair, making sure I'd gotten all of the ick out. "I think it's all out. Let me rinse it one more time, then I'll help you towel off."

She leaned back as I carefully poured more water down her hair, wrinkling my nose as I reminded all too much why I preferred showers to baths, but the glue was all out of her hair.

I had her stand and rinsed off her body with clean warm water to make sure none of the adhesive was sticking where she'd been sitting in the dirty water.

Stepping out of the tub, she turned to me as I began toweling her dry. "I think I shall get a kitten when I return to England."

To my surprise, she actually sounded a little excited about the prospect.

I squeezed the water out of her hair, eternally grateful that I had short hair. "I think that's an excellent idea. Although a kitten might be a little too much work for your first cat. What about a young cat, one that's only a year or so old? Still young enough to have lots of energy, but you don't have to worry about it being so little."

"You have a sound point." Her attention drifted to the windows, gazing out in thought as she slid on clean clothes.

I assumed she was fantasizing about her future kitten and started cleaning up after the small mess I'd made, even though I'd tried not to splash any. I wasn't sure where everything went, so I left it neatly for whoever was supposed to come for the dirty water.

 _Welp, I guess we're done here._ I headed towards the door, uncertain as to what I was supposed to do next, but figured I could at least get breakfast before Miguel gave me work.

"Thank you."

I stopped in my tracks, her thanks so quiet I'd almost missed it. Guilt dug dull claws harder into my stomach, twisting my insides until I knew I had to say something, even if it did set back any progress I'd made.

Reluctantly, I turned to face Lady BeKatt, wondering just how badly she would react to what I was about to say.

She seemed confused by my worried frown, at least until I opened my mouth.

"It was my fault. The stuff that was in your hair," I clarified when she continued to stare at me in bewilderment.

Her fair features began to darken and before she had a chance, I quickly blurted out, "I'm sorry. I never should have done that."

The apology tasted sour in my mouth, but I knew my guilty conscience would never leave me alone otherwise. Oh, but I _hated_ it when things were my fault.

Still faintly scowling, her growing anger only seemed to grow at my words. "Why are you apologizing? I assume you're behind the rest of those horrid pranks as well, so why are you apologizing _now?"_

"Just the glue was mine," I said quickly, wondering if anything I said would repair the damage, but she wasn't shrieking at me yet... "The others were someone else, I swear." I might not want to throw Magda completely under the bus, but I had no qualms about placing him firmly in front of it. This particular bus, anyway. I'd protect him until my dying breath from Salazar, but I suspected the captain was already aware of who was behind the pranks.

Glaring at me, she spat, "So everything you said was a lie? Just to try and ingratiate yourself to me? You little wretch-"

"No, I wasn't lying," I cut her off, struggling to contain my own anger at her accusations. "I didn't have an ulterior motive about anything. I don't play those kinds of games. And I'm not even the person who _did_ the thing with your hair, I just came up with the idea. The only reason I said something was because-" I abruptly snapped my mouth shut.

I couldn't tell her the real reason why I'd done it. It would hurt her if I did. Too much.

"Because what?" she bit out, blotches of red staining her cheeks as she stomped towards me, looking like some drowned spirit with her fury stamped across her face and her wet, stringy hair.

Instead of shrinking away like I desperately wanted, to try and avoid confrontation, I carefully said, "Because you shouldn't have basically told me that I'm gutter trash. What right do you have to go around telling people that you're better than them, simply because you were born differently? It shouldn't make you 'better' than someone, and it doesn't. I'm just as good as you."

I never saw it coming. In hindsight, I probably should have.

My cheek exploded with pain and white flashed across my vision, sending me reeling backwards. "That should teach you your place, _harlot_ ," she hissed. "As that's what you are. How dare you compare yourself to me? You're a _whore_ , walking around in men's clothes, parading yourself like you're proud that you have the body of a cow-"

Her words were a dim buzz in my ears as shock rippled through me, my mind struggling to process the fact that I had been slapped.

 _Slapped._

My efforts to be kind and polite had rewarded me with _this_? With having my good intentions thrown back at me like being spit in the face?

The shocked hurt didn't last long.

A deep, red rage quickly grew to boiling, a bloodthirsty itch coiling under my skin as my brain caught up and flipped from shock over to being right. Fucking. _Pissed_.

Haze bled into my vision, blurring everything with an almost reddish mist as I lunged forward, snarls ripping from my chest like a rabid animal.

My focus fixated solely on smooth unblemished skin. I didn't care where, I just wanted to _sink_ my teeth into soft flesh.

Lady BeKatt shrieked and stumbled backwards, tripping to land back on her bed, staring up at me with wide, horrified eyes.

Sentient thought abruptly reasserted itself and I faltered, halting mid-lunge. I stared back, champing my teeth together, strings of frothy drool dripping down my chin as growls continuously rolled up my throat.

 _Bite, rip, TEAR!_

My jaws ached with effort as I snapped my teeth together and spat drool on the floor, still staring at the wide eyes locked with mine.

Lady BeKatt let out a whimper when a strangled noise made its way through my clenched teeth, a sound I had no idea I was capable of making.

I stepped backwards, finally managing to control the murderous rage. Distantly, I wondered if she was recalling what I'd done to that pirate that had almost raped her, of the way I'd ripped open veins and arteries with nothing more than the same teeth bared at her now.

Feeling just calm enough that I could speak coherently, I hissed malevolently, "You get one free hit. _One_. But the next time you bitch slap me, you'd better fucking _run_."

Fury still bubbled through my veins as her features went sheet white in fear as she glanced at my sharp fangs.

Probably the first time someone she considered below her station had ever threatened her like that. _Good! Maybe it'll teach her not to treat people like shit!_

Teeth still champing like I was some rabid animal, I whirled around and stomped towards the door, not even having to put any effort to wrenching it open.

I slammed it shut behind me, satisfaction flaring at the resounding bang.

Air whistled through my teeth as I panted, trying to regain control of my rage. I could count on one hand how many times I'd been this angry in my entire life. And even then, it had never been nearly this bad. It actually scared me a little bit.

 _Need to calm down. Calm down. Easy._

Glancing down, I saw that my hands were shaking, the adrenaline coursing through my veins making me tremble.

I spun in a quick circle, then started trotting towards Miguel's lair, hoping he would have something hard for me to do that would work off of my anger.

* * *

 **Before everyone starts panicking; yes, Salazar does indeed find out. *grins***

 **A** **little bit of a heads up! I've got the next chapter almost completed, and after that, I'm pretty sure it's a multi-part segment (not sure how many, haven't figured it out yet), so please place all trays in the upright position and hold on!**


	38. Chapter 38

**I still live, I swear! I really hadn't expected it to take this long to update, I had planned to update more before this, but had lots of work, little rest, had a fun but very taxing trip, then just when I'd promised that I'd update, just _had_ to go and get sick. Typical. *rolls eyes***

 **Anywhoo, I have a gift to make up for it. Multi. Chapter. Segment. And it's a HUGE one! With lots of yummy Salazar. I do apologize ahead of time, this isn't my finest work of proofreading/editing/tinkering, so please be aware that mistakes are most likely gonna be found. Good grief, my life. Anyway, chatter probably isn't gonna be huge as I'm really tired and don't feel well, but I'll try to drop a comment or two just so y'all know I'm alive. :D**

* * *

When I reached the kitchens, Miguel was sorting through his cabinets, looking for something. The burly Spaniard took one glance at my face and didn't say a word, only gestured to the storeroom, knowing I'd know what to do.

Right now, moving heavy things sounded exactly like what I needed to vent. The rage was still bubbling in my veins, only slightly lessened by the passing of time.

My muscles were screaming in agony by the time I stopped shifting the heavy sacks of grain and flour, the different barrels of supplies, from where they were to where Miguel wanted them at his silent direction. I hadn't done much, my muscles quickly turning liquid, before the room began to feel like it was tilting more so than normal.

A meaty hand clasped my shoulder to halt my movement as I staggered out of the storeroom and steered me over to a bench with a tankard of water and some food.

Gratefully, I sank down onto the bench, noting that my hands were now shaking from exertion as I reached for the water. I drained it in one go, then tore into the food, remembering only now that I hadn't had breakfast.

 _Oh. That would explain why I feel like the room's spinning. Oops._

"Want to talk?"

I lifted my head to see that Miguel had taken the seat across from me and was watching me with a serious expression. He'd seen the mark on my face when I'd come in, the fresh handprint still red on my cheek, and I was pretty sure he knew who'd put it there.

Glancing away, I stood and refilled the tankard before sitting back down. "No. I deserved it. And it won't happen again."

Anger surged anew, fresh and bloody, but I tamped it down, ripping into the piece of bread on the plate instead.

Miguel didn't say anything, yet I saw his doubtful look at my response.

I ignored him, trying to keep the livid emotions in check. I knew I could have retaliated against Lady BeKatt and nobody would have batted an eye. For her comments alone, I probably should have punched her, but I was trying desperately not to lower myself to her level, to keep my control. Yet that slap had lit a match to a deep fury that surprised me in its ferocity.

Even now, it simmered under my skin like a fever threatening to boil my blood.

"English?"

A growl ripped through my chest in answer, my ears flexing back as my teeth viciously snapped together.

Miguel didn't even bat an eye. "Tell me."

Blowing a disgusted snort, I told him the whole thing, from helping Lady BeKatt to my admittance of guilt. I ended up choking on another surge of rage as I recounted what she'd called me, her implications of why I was how I was.

Miguel scoffed and waved a hand, dismissing the woman's ugly words. "Is jealous."

I stilled, then glanced up at him in bewilderment. "What do you mean, she's jealous?"

"Should not have helped prank English, but understand why you did." Even as I ducked my head guiltily, he gestured at me from top to bottom, already moving on. "But English jealous. You free to wear male clothes, not bulky dress. You are...different. Friendly, helpful, kind. Even with stuff in hair. You helped fix, _sí_? English none of this. Wouldn't have fixed. And pah!" he wrinkled his nose. "English may be _bonita_ , but is too…white. Looks...sick."

I tilted my head, my anger draining away as I listened to his calming voice. "I'm not exactly tanned myself."

Flicking his fingers, he grunted. "Pale, but _sano_ , healthy. Why you avoid sun?"

"I tend to burn easily," I explained, thinking about all the freckles on my arms from too much sunshine. My complexion didn't bother me, but I knew that freckles were not in fashion in the 18th century by any means. And I was surprised at how accepting Miguel was of my differences. But if he hadn't met many Americans, perhaps he just assumed they were all like that?

"And English is too thin. No meat on her. Nothing to hold," Miguel continued, flexing his fingers with a disgusted look.

"Miguel! Don't be crass!" I scolded even as I snorted with giggles, face warming at his implications.

The bulky Spaniard ignored me and indicated my frame, still a little too curvy even with my imprisonment and fever spell. If I wasn't careful, I'd gain back everything I'd lost and more from his cooking.

"Now you, nice body. Something for a man to hold onto." He wiggled his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Miguel!" My laughter turned into a groan at his outrageous comments, knowing exactly what he was alluding to. "What would your grandmamma say if she could hear you now?"

Unphased, he shrugged with an unrepentant wink. "Is true. Man won't want bony and bitter. Wants soft and warm. You'll see. You find a man, you ask him which he wants. Know he'll want you, not English."

I shook my head, then quickly reached forward and pressed my hand over his mouth as he opened it to continue. "Okay! Okay, I got it! You can stop now!"

Rolling my eyes, I sat back, feeling my face still tilted in a half-smile. "Thank you."

Miguel nodded, then scowled, pointing at my face with one thick finger. "That happens again, going straight to _el capitán_ , _sí_?"

My smile abruptly flipped into a mirroring scowl. "Miguel, I'm not going to bother the captain with something like this. He doesn't need to know."

The force of his disdainful scoff practically rattled the table. "You will go to him, or _I_ will. Won't stand for seeing bruises. And that _will_ bruise."

Tentatively pressing a thumb against my cheek, I winced with pain, realizing Miguel was probably right. She'd certainly slapped me hard enough, but maybe I'd get lucky and it wouldn't.

If it hadn't been for my admission of guilt, Lady BeKatt would probably have been better off, but my conscious wouldn't have allowed it. And it would be better for the truth to be out anyway. But still…it hurt enormously that I'd been struck like that, more so that I would have thought. It hadn't been just painful, it was extremely belittling.

"Fine," I sighed, seeing that Miguel wasn't going to budge on this. " _If_ it happens again, I'll say something."

He nodded. " _Bien._ Good. Would myself if not."

I wrinkled my nose skeptically. "You would not."

His broad face twisted into a faintly evil smirk. "Would indeed. Carry you straight to his cabin and drop in his lap."

"As if!" I scoffed.

He sternly pointed a finger at me. "Leave pranks to whoever is making her door not fit. You better than that."

The scolding made my stomach clench, but I knew he was right. But the things she'd spat at me went a long way to making it hard to feel too guilty.

Miguel heaved his bulk off the bench and went back to bustling around the kitchen, glancing over at me every now and then as I slowly finished my breakfast. I still felt a little green around the gills, now that I wasn't being energized by the burning need to bite off one of Lady BeKatt's ears, but I was feeling much better with something in my stomach.

A short time later, Lesaro entered the mess, exchanging respectful greetings with Miguel before approaching me as I shifted the last bag into place with the rest of the supplies, having gone back to moving things once the room stopped spinning.

Lesaro's one-eyed gaze narrowed speculatively as he watched me catch my breath. "You should not be straining yourself with such labor."

I paused, then slowly raised my head at the faintly patronizing note I'd heard in his voice. "Excuse me?"

He gestured at my obvious weariness with an almost disdainful air. "It is not suitable for you to be performing such mundane tasks-"

I straightened, bringing his words to a halt as I struggled to keep from curling my lip at that grating tone. "I asked for heavy labor specifically. Let's get something straight." I moved stand in front of him, not quite as intrusive as the first time I'd demonstrated I wasn't ladylike, but a close second. "I've been on this ship for weeks now. When have I ever appeared even remotely normal, according to your standards?"

Lesaro shifted uncomfortably, his disdain fading to a faintly flustered look. "My apologies. I'd…forgotten, for a moment." He gestured helplessly and I felt my irritation fade. "It is still…unexpected to find you willingly taking on such manual duties."

"Every single one of you would need therapy if you were dropped in my time," I muttered under my breath, then upped my volume so he could hear me. "Lesaro, I'm used to heavy working, keeping busy. I don't like sitting on my hands. I don't like pretending I don't have a brain. I know I'm nothing like the women you're used to, and I'm trying _really_ hard not to overstep the chauvinistic mindset of this time, but it's not exactly easy. Especially when you come in here and all but sneer at me for trying to help."

Luckily, Miguel had left a short while after Lesaro had entered the mess, otherwise he'd have gotten one hell of an earful, because I'd all but forgotten the possibility of other people being in the room.

 _Whoops._ As far as I knew, Salazar, Lesaro, and Reíno were the only three that knew I was from the future. And it was probably for the best to keep it that way.

Lesaro's face was completely blank, and I immediately cringed at how much I'd chastised him, especially after he'd already apologized. It wasn't his fault I was still a little on edge from my altercation with Lady BeKatt.

I opened my mouth to try and smooth over what I'd said, but he held up a hand, indicating for me to remain silent.

My ears flexed back, remorse making me drop my eyes to the floor. _I shouldn't have been so harsh…_

"Who provides for your family, Isabeau?"

The soft question lifted my head to see the concentration on the lieutenant's face as he puzzled out some thought.

"My mother. Though I help her as much as I can."

He nodded slowly, as if several questions had been answered. "I see…"

I twisted my fingers awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Guillermo. I shouldn't have been so harsh. You don't deserve that."

"Mm. Come. You're accompanying me now." His expression gave nothing away, but I couldn't help the feeling that I'd hurt him. I hadn't meant to...

I rose to my feet, only to pause and look at him sheepishly. "I…forgot my shoes earlier." I felt my face warm in embarrassment, but the lieutenant only tilted his head, indicating for me to follow.

"We'll stop by your quarters so that you may remedy that. Were you able to assist Lady BeKatt earlier?" he asked as he led me out of the galley.

I clicked my teeth together quietly at the surge of angry remembrance, then muttered, "Yes. I was able to get all the stuff out of her hair."

Lesaro slide a glance sideways at my bitter tone, his eye widening as he saw the faint red mark on my cheek, but he kept silent. His nostrils flared and I saw his mouth draw into a pinched line of disapproval. I had a feeling that Salazar would be receiving some less than satisfactory news shortly, and honestly, I couldn't say I was upset with that.

He stood outside my cabin as I threw on my boots as quickly as I could, tossing my anklet on my bed as I hurried to rejoin the one-eyed Spaniard. He appeared patient, but there was a strange air about him, something that made my muscles feel tight. I hadn't noticed it before through my guilt of snapping at him.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, pausing to stare up at him worriedly as I shut my door.

His expression became grim. "No. Not as of now, but there is a good chance we will be engaged in some skirmishes in the near future."

I swallowed nervously as he rested a hand on the pommel of his rapier. "Pirates?"

Lesaro's eye flickered over my face, taking in my obvious apprehension. His stance relaxed slightly, but the prickling feeling didn't fade. "Don't worry, _señorita_. It won't be anything like the _Bountiful_. I promise."

Tensely, I cracked my knuckles to try and disperse some of the anxiety itching under my skin, though I was glad that it sounded like he wasn't still upset with me. "Actually, that hadn't even crossed my mind. I was thinking about…"

Trailing off, I shifted uncomfortably and tried edged forwards past Lesaro, wondering if I could get away with not finishing that thought.

Lesaro slid in front of me, his taut physique as powerful as his captain's. The piercing concentration in his uncovered eye was enough to freeze me in place. "Thinking about what?"

 _Apparently not._ I bit my lip as I fidgeted, but he didn't blink. Unable to take it anymore, I blurted, "Thinking about you, and Reíno, and Salazar. I know you're well-trained officers, but that won't stop a bullet or a cannonball. I just-"

Lesaro leaned closer, cutting me off mid-sentence, a curious frown on his face as he studied me. "You're worried for us?"

I rolled my eyes at his perplexity. "Why is everyone so shocked to realize that I actually care about you idiots?"

He blinked, somewhat surprised. "Forgive me, it's…just unexpected. But I'm glad you care. And as for my comments earlier, I should not have treated you as I did. I was in error."

Nodding slightly, I accepted his apology, relieved that that was smoothed over. I didn't like feeling we were at odds, even if he had 18th century standards towards women, though he was remarkable lenient where I was concerned. I didn't know if it was his personality itself, or if he was simply allowing for me being from a different time period. Not that I hadn't clashed with him over helping him write up his reports a time or two.

The shrewd Spaniard suddenly slid me a sly look, interrupting my thoughts. "So you care even for the _capitán_?"

Immediately wary, I shot him an unamused look. "Yes, even for that crotchety beast."

Lesaro spluttered a snort, a smile ghosting across his mouth that made me think he probably gave Salazar a run for his money in the feminine attention department. "In all the time that I've known him, the only women that I've heard talk about the _capitán_ in such a manner were his mother and mine."

I tilted my head curiously. Lesaro hadn't mentioned Salazar's mother before. I wondered if I'd ever get to the bottom of Salazar's history. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

He looked far too innocent as he answered, "They were the only women who ever truly loved him."

Wanting to avoid that subject at all costs, I backpedaled rapidly. "Uhm, okay, weren't we supposed to be somewhere right now?"

The man wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what I was doing. But he let it slide and gestured for me to follow. "Indeed. Do not forget, however, you still have dinner to attend to tonight."

"Haven't forgotten," I grumbled, trying valiantly to squash the little thrill that sprang to life at seeing Salazar again.

Lesaro's duties proved to be quite…educational. And after smelling the rancid stench of fat that was used to coat the ropes for the sails to make it easier to slide them through the eyeholes, I was a hundred percent grateful to have been born in a time period with electricity. Say what you would about the 21st century, at least I didn't have to smell _that_ on a daily basis.

"And I thought explosive dog shit was the worst I'd ever smelled," I muttered under my breath, trying not to dry heave and keep my breakfast down.

"It is not a pleasant odor," Lesaro agreed, looking disgustingly unruffled as he finished checking to make sure there weren't any problems he needed to attend to and everything was running smoothly. "But a necessary one."

"I'm just glad it's not as strong out in the open air. Though I guess if I can get used to the smell of turkey fertilizer, I would eventually get used to that. Maybe," I added, more than grateful when we were several corridors away, though I was pretty sure the odor had burned itself into my mucous membranes. "Please tell me whatever's next on the list isn't even close to being as bad."

"No, that was the worst. This way."

The rest of his duties consisted mostly of ensuring that the _Mary_ was fully prepared for any upcoming battles.

"I have to say it's really quite impressive," I murmured, more than a little intimidated by how much firepower the _Mary_ held, even for a vessel only utilizing cannonballs. It made me very aware of the fact that even though Reíno, Magda, Lesaro, and Salazar were kind and courteous to me, they were still highly skilled and well-trained officers, more than capable of expertly wielding the swords belted at their waist. The well-maintained weapons were not for show.

Lesaro glanced over at me at my sudden silence, as if he'd heard my suddenly uneasy thoughts.

I inadvertently jolted when a large hand brushed over my arm and I looked at him curiously.

He dipped his head to meet my eye, his shrewd gaze taking in my expression. "That's not a look of concern. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong…just realized something." I smiled a little, hoping to prove that everything was fine.

It didn't fool him for a second. "You are good at hiding your emotions, Isabeau, but not good enough. _Por favor_ , what bothers you?"

Sighing in defeat, I edged out through the doorway that led away from the second tier deck, knowing that standing next to a bunch of sailors prepping cannons was probably not the best place for quiet admissions.

Lesaro understood my silent request for privacy and led me to a spot behind the stairs that was out of the way. He shifted, his bigger bulk hiding me from view as he waited for me to speak, a slight frown marring his older, yet still attractive features as he saw my nervously twisting fingers.

I took a deep breath, gaze suddenly dropping to the rapier half-hidden against his thigh, and involuntarily shivered. "It's just…I hadn't quite…realized, just how dangerous you are. You and Salazar and the other officers that have been so kind to me. You're all more than capable of splitting me open in one slice before I'd even have a chance to realize what was happening."

The lieutenant's dark gaze sharpened as he shifted his weight, almost as if he was perturbed by my admission. "Nothing has changed, Isabeau. We are still the same men who helped you, who rescued you."

"I know that," I blurted out, then shook my head in frustration, stiffly cracking my knuckles to relieve tension. "It just kind of…sank in, I guess. Men with swords strapped to their hips are not exactly a common occurrence where I'm from, much less those with the knowledge of how to use them."

He tilted his head, edging backwards to make sure he wasn't crowding me. "Your military does not carry swords?"

"No. They use guns. Everyone uses guns. Swords are only for decoration, usually during parades and ceremonies." I twitched as he suddenly leaned closer, startled at the abrupt invasion of my personal space as he peered intently at me.

"You're not… _scared_ of me, are you, Isabeau?" There was a flash of something that looked a lot like distress in his undamaged eye.

I shook my head so quickly I could've sworn I heard my brain rattle. "No! No, I'm not scared of you, not at all. It's…kind of like realizing that a horse allows you to lead it by a piece of string, when it's really a thousand pound animal that could trample you with hooves the size of your hand on a sudden whim."

Lesaro pulled back, relieved understanding flooding his face, wiping away the frown. "Ah, awareness. _Sí_ , this is a time when you would realize this."

He reached out and I barely controlled my flinch as he covered my wringing hands, squeezing reassuringly and halting my fidgeting. "Isabeau, I want you to remember that no matter how dangerous I or the _capitán_ might seem, you will come to no harm from us. Understand?"

I nodded, relieved he understood what I was trying to say. "Understood." I hesitated a second, then added, "I'm sorry if you thought I was scared of you, Guillermo. I promise you, I'm not. A little intimidated, yes, but never scared."

"I am glad to hear that, Isabeau," came his smooth mellow tone, lacking Salazar's raspy bite, but it was no less soothing.

"What's next on the list?" I asked, curious as to what else made the _Mary_ tick so efficiently, and more than ready to move on from this uncomfortable conversation.

Instead of leading onwards, Lesaro glanced over me with a close scrutiny, as if looking for something. "You are not pushing yourself too hard, are you? You still have not fully recovered from your fever."

"I'm fine. I'll let you know when I get too tired."

He hesitated a second longer, then inclined his head. "Very well. Follow me."

Several tasks later, our last destination was the cargo hold, where a group of sailors were shifting heavy bags of supplies to a different part of the hold to reduce the chances of getting damaged.

Lesaro had just begun his inspection when another sailor ran up to him and murmured quickly in Spanish. The lieutenant nodded in response, then gestured for me to stay put as he followed the sailor out of the hold.

I gazed after him, wondering what was going on, and what the hell I was supposed to do while I was waiting. My stomach suddenly growled, informing me that while it hadn't been hungry earlier, it would be in my best interests to feed it sooner rather than later.

I rolled my eyes. Food could wait a little while longer. _Hopefully I'll at least have enough time to change clothes before I see Salazar._

Trying to ignore the tingle of anticipation at seeing the man again only made my mind wander to other thoughts. I marveled that the rampaging anxieties had calmed down significantly, and every time they tried to surge back to full strength, Salazar's deep voice intruded, the memory of his reassuring words keeping them dampened.

I shook my head, not wanting to ponder the significance of that, instead redirecting my concentration on the sailors moving the heavy supplies.

Quickly, I noticed that they had difficulty reaching the top stacks. The two men at the front, a stocky sailor who closely resembled a barrel and one that was somewhat portly but still had powerful arms, would strain to reach the bags at the top several layers, which had to be brought down first.

Having difficulty standing idly by while watching someone struggle, I climbed up the stacks, easily reaching the top layers and carefully pulled them down so that they were much easier to reach.

The sailor resembling a barrel barked something at me in Spanish, but I ignored it, mindful of my weaker back muscles as I lowered the bag for the other man to reach.

My efforts were met with more irritable Spanish before I snapped, "Just hurry up and take it before I drop it!"

The barrel accepted the bag as I let go and glanced at his companion, who shrugged in response, making the barrel grumble under his breath.

Grudgingly, the burly sailors let me help, allowing me to lower the bags to make it easier for them, the process gradually growing smoother until a good rhythm was established.

Oddly enough, I liked the manual labor. I liked feeling my muscles burn. I liked being able to see a physical result of my efforts, but I could feel my energy quickly flagging.

Unused to the amount of effort, especially after they'd already been tortured by Miguel, my muscles quickly turned into jelly, but I struggled to push through it. I'd started this, I intended to finish it, even as aches screamed across my shoulders.

A reminder niggled at the back of my mind as I worked down the stack, but whenever I strained to remember what I was supposed to be doing, it faded away to a dim urgency. I frowned and hoped that I would remember whatever it was soon. The niggling felt important.

* * *

 **Uh-oh...yes, yes that niggling is _very_ important.**


	39. Chapter 39

**I just realized. I should probably warn you guys (if I haven't before) that I have this terrible tendency to forget my timeline of events. Like, a conversation will be taking place during the morning and poof, next sentence it's nighttime with no transition, or something similar. If that pops up, please feel free to let me know. Inconsistencies like those simply drive me crazy, and I have no problems with fixing them. It's just catching them that's the issue.**

* * *

I'd just been shooed away by the barrel as my arms gave out yet again when Lesaro suddenly appeared in the bay, his gaze flickering over the sweating men until it landed on me, then widened in surprise.

He quickly strode over to where I was struggling to catch my breath, muscles burning in a way that said I'd done way too much, too soon after recovering from being sick.

I reeled back, surprised at Lesaro's flinty expression. _What'd I do now? I was only helping-_

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be _, señorita_?" he asked, his tone almost icy. "It is far past the eve shift change."

I blinked, quickly flipping through my brain as Lesaro waited with stern impatience.

"Oh, shit," I gasped, realizing what the niggling was. Holy _fuck,_ I was in so much trouble! Time had flown quicker than I ever would have expected.

"Indeed. Come. Now." Without waiting to see if I was following, he pivoted and started a quick clip back the way he'd come.

A tight pressure clenched in my chest from his brusque behavior. I trotted after him, my legs unexpectedly watery and unstable at my overexertion. "Wait! I'm dirty-"

"The _capitán_ requested that you join him, no matter the state of your dress." Lesaro's tone brooked no argument and I wondered if he'd gotten reprimanded that I was late. Or if he was mad at me because I'd forgotten after he'd already reminded me several times.

"I didn't mean…" I trailed off quietly, guilt and worried anxiety surging hard in my throat, clogging my apology.

Lesaro heaved a sigh. "You are not the source of his irritation, Isabeau, nor mine. I am not angry with you."

The use of my first name without the usual honorific jolted me out of my emotional panic a little.

"I understand." And I did. I was receiving the overflow of his aggravation for whatever reason. But if _Lesaro_ was being snappy, I cringed to imagine how Salazar was acting.

"I'm really sorry," I told him earnestly, panting to keep up with the taller man's stride, "I lost track of time and didn't mean to make him angry. Or to inconvenience you."

Lesaro hastily slowed down enough that I wasn't having the struggle to keep up, but still remained at a quick clip. "The vexation was not triggered by you, Isabeau. He has been in a mood since he awoke this morning. A particularly vicious band of pirates that regularly patrol these waters and all ventures to stop them have been complete failures so far. That means more people must suffer because others cannot do their job. The _capitán_ is cross because a vessel was sighted earlier, but too far away to tell if it was an enemy ship or a potential victim."

"And then I had to go and forget about dinner, adding to his wrath." Now I _really_ felt bad. I flexed my ears back unhappily and quietly clicked in my throat.

"Simply apologize and try not to balk at his temper. He should be merely annoyed by now." Lesaro came to an abrupt halt outside the captain's door and before I could even blurt out anything, he'd already knocked on the door.

He slid a glance and realized I'd wanted to say something. " _Lo siento,_ but he is not in the mood to wait."

I nodded, worriedly beginning to hyperventilate as my stomach clenched unpleasantly.

A deep baritone rang out a word and Lesaro tipped his head that I could enter.

Nervously swallowing, I pushed open the door, bracing myself for the inevitable outburst.

Salazar was sitting behind his desk, scowling at a paper he held. The thunderous look was transferred to me as I stepped into his lair, inwardly flinching as the door clicked ominously shut behind me.

"Sit." He jerked his head towards the chair across from him.

The kind, understanding man that had hugged me and comforted me was gone. _El Matador del Mar_ had returned with a vengeance.

Hoping my stomach wouldn't growl again, I carefully walked across the plush carpet and sat down, keeping my hands out of sight as I fidgeted. I couldn't stop the tense jigging of my leg, though nor the queasy tightness in my stomach. _Please don't throw up on his carpet!_

The silence grew unbearably thick as he continued to glare at the paper, then tossed it on the desk to straighten his already imposing form and stare at me with narrowed eyes.

"You're late."

I jumped at the barely restrained irritation in his voice. _Definitely still angry._ "I'm sorry, I lost track of time, I-"

" _Detener._ Save your excuses," he cut in sharply, his words cracking like a whip. "I am not interested in them."

I swallowed my immediate response, grateful for the surge of frustration that helped cancel the anxiety, but I'd have to be careful not to lose my temper. Kindness aside, Salazar was still enough of a stranger that I didn't know if he would lash out in his anger or not. That, accompanied with my realization earlier, made me all too aware that the rapier hilted at his waist wasn't for show.

But at the same time, I felt confused and more than a little hurt.

This was the same man who'd held me tightly as I'd poured out all of my fears? Who had stared at me with such an intense expression I would have sworn he was about to kiss me? Right now, he looked more likely to backhand me across the face if I breathed too loudly.

I glanced at the door, noting I was the same distance away as Salazar, but his legs were longer and he was far quicker.

"Don't even think about it. In case you've forgotten, you owe me answers, _señorita_. Answers I intend to obtain, whether you're willing or not."

The ominous words snapped my attention back to him and I barely resisted flinching at the steely expression he wore. _It's just like when I told him I was the future all over again._ "And how do you plan on getting those answers if I don't know them? Just gonna crack my skull open and hope you find them there?"

Salazar rumbled menacingly and leaned forward in his chair. "Do not play games with me, _Señorita_ Revanne. I am not in the mood."

Biting my tongue, I wilted slightly in my seat, resigned to the verbal lashing I was about receive. Pain gnawed in my stomach and I winced, moving to press my hand hard against my diaphragm. Breakfast was long gone and nervous churning in my stomach was letting me know. The food growing cold on the table behind me just made me sad if I let myself think about it.

To my surprise, Salazar took a deep breath and seemed to rein in a great deal of his aggravation with it. He gestured to the dining table. " _Comer._ Eat. I will join you in a moment. You may use the washbasin in my personal quarters if you wish to freshen your appearance."

Thrown by the abrupt cooling in temperament, I rose and warily made my way towards his bedroom, wondering if I should just sit down at the table. I changed my mind at the last second, figuring if he'd suggested I clean up, I probably looked like a mess.

I glanced back at Salazar and saw he wasn't even paying attention, having dismissed me to return to scowling at the charts on his desk.

Still, the atmosphere in the room made me intensely uncomfortable to just walk right into his private room, but I hurriedly scurried over to the washbasin, slightly amazed at what a difference it made being in this room with Salazar awake. And hard able to believe that I'd been comfortable enough to sleep in that bed for several nights, under the same blankets with the irate Spaniard in the other room. It was a mindboggling change when he was unconscious.

I grimaced at my reflection, noting the streaks of grime over my cheeks, but I hadn't cracked the mirror yet, so that was good.

Rinsing my face and hands improved the grungy look immensely, though the violent clenching in my stomach unfortunately reminded me that the longer I delayed, the more unpleasant this would probably be.

Emerging from the bedroom, I crept over to the table, sitting in my usual seat so that I could keep Salazar in my sights. I'd meant what I'd told him about being wary of angry people I didn't know well. I did feel bad about being late for dinner, but at the same time, his anger wasn't completely my fault and he didn't need to take it out on me.

I was almost distracted by inhaling food, not realizing I was practically starving until I'd started eating, when Salazar suddenly rose to his full height and prowled across the room to gracefully settle in his seat across from me.

Keeping a careful eye on him as he dished food onto his own plate, I fidgeted to try and relieve the nervous ache starting up in my arm.

"We have had very little discussion on what has occurred in the three centuries from now until your time," he began calmly, not looking at me as he continued to select portions of food.

I might have been fooled if it weren't for the stony expression locked on his face. "You're not going to like my answers. I can tell you that right now."

His dark, piercing gaze settled on me and I shivered uneasily as with a dangerously silky voice, he inquired, "And why would you say that?"

Appetite suddenly gone, I pushed my plate away and stared down at the empty space on the table where it'd been. "Because I don't remember enough of my world history to be of any help to you. I'm not even sure I _should_ tell you, since if I do, it might change the very future I'm from. I might have already have changed it, but I'd rather not take that chance."

For a long minute, Salazar didn't speak.

I shifted uncomfortably as his stare bored into me, using the heavy silence to lean the full weight of his willpower against mine.

"Very well then. What _can_ you tell me about the history of my country?"

I opened my mouth to quickly reply, only to realize I couldn't. I couldn't give him the answers he wanted. I knew more about algebra than I did about Spain. And I'd almost failed math.

Salazar's gaze grew hard. "Ah...I assume from your silence you mean to say you can't tell me anything, _s_ _í_?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" I tried to desperately smooth over the damage as best I could, talking faster in response to the dangerous tension growing in the room. "I'm sorry I don't know. I'm sorry I can't give you the answers you're looking for. My only history was American history, it was the only class that was available when I could take it. I can talk about Greek mythology all day long, and could probably tell more than you would ever want to know about things you'd never understand, but I can't tell you a single thing about the history of Spain."

I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach and curled inwards, pleading for him to understand, _hoping_ he would. "I'm sorry…I would tell you if I could, I swear. Just by being here has probably changed things, if it was going to. But I don't know anything."

For the longest moment, he didn't speak. Then he splayed a palm flat on the table, idly studying the back of his hand. "There is a war, in España, at this very moment. Our last king passed away leaving a troublesome successor, and my country is embroiled in conflict. So much chaos, so much struggle…how long does it go on? How much destruction must be wrought before we can begin to prosper again? How long until the next war? If I but knew these answers, I could-"

His jaw clenched as he bit off the rest of his sentence, his hand curling into a fist as he collected his decaying restraint with a sharp inhale.

Then his gaze landed on me like a solid weight. "I must confess that I am disappointed, _Señorita_ Revanne. I had expected more from you."

I jerked back as if he'd reached out and backhanded me.

Out of everything he could have said, that was one of the worst. Lady BeKatt's slap was a tap on the cheek compared to the pain of his words.

There were few things I hated, despised, more than disappointing someone. Especially when I'd pushed myself so hard to meet their expectations, only to fall short even with my best efforts.

My stomach lurched sickeningly with a sharp pang and I vaguely wondered if I was about to hurl my meager dinner all over his undoubtedly expensive carpet. I hadn't eaten much, and the stomach acid would most likely stain it permanently.

Swallowing the bile and the pain, I raised my chin and met his steely gaze, tucking away the powerful urge to fix my mistakes, to scrub away his disappointment, earn his approval. "I am very sorry that I have disappointed you, _Capitán_. I shall strive to do better in the future."

His eyelids flickered at the proper inflection of his title, not missing my stilted words, or the flat tone I'd used.

He shifted tensely, fist loosening as his index finger began to tap rapidly against the tabletop. Mouth tightening even as the steeliness faded from his eyes, he muttered, " _Lo arruiné_. _¡Tarado!_ "

I looked away, not caring what he'd said. Being trapped on a ship was going to quickly turn into a nightmare for me. I was stuck with these people, had to face them when I made mistakes, wasn't able to escape to give myself time to calm down, to retreat, like I could on land, back home.

It would rapidly create a strain that was going to make me physically sick again, just like I'd been before I'd appeared aboard the _Bountiful_.

"Is there anything else you wish of me tonight?" I asked, starting to rise from my chair, more than ready to leave. Salazar's presence was scraping me raw, and I needed to rebuild my armor before I dealt with him again.

He abruptly shifted forwards, his hand lifting slightly as if he was going to reach out and grab me, keep me from leaving.

My muscles tensed, ready to duck away, and Salazar quickly dropped his hand, unable to miss my rigidity. A strange, almost desperate look flashed across his face before it quickly vanished, leaving me to wonder if it'd even existed. " _Sí_ , there is. _Por_ _favor,_ sit."

I closed my eyes in quiet frustration at his firm tone and reluctantly sat back down. There really would be no point to try and run. His longer legs would easily outstrip mine before I reached the door. And in hindsight, I should have known better. Since when did this man make _anything_ easy for me?

"Ah, if you recall, you owe me a story, _señorita_."

My eyes snapped open at his words and I stared at him, dumbfounded, scrambling to figure out what he was talking about.

Then I remembered my offer last night.

I couldn't believe it. After the emotional tumult he'd put me through in the impressive space of five minutes, he was going to collect on _that_?! "You want me to tell you a story."

"I do." His face was a mask of steady determination, not conceding at my tone of disbelief.

I needed desperately to just crawl under my covers and he wanted me to tell him a fucking story. What I _wanted_ to tell him was to kiss my fucking ass, but I knew that wouldn't be well received. So I gritted my teeth and asked, "Is there anything in particular you wanna hear about?"

His eyelids lowered as he leaned back in his chair, pondering my words for a minute. He idly picked up his knife and turned it between lean fingers as he mused, "You don't tell any futuristic stories, simply ones that are fantastical, yet easily understood. However, with stories, you could tell of a world with flying machines and horseless carriages, and none would by the wiser. Yet you don't. Why not?"

It didn't really surprise me that he'd noticed that. Not in the mood to be polite, I snapped, "Because you have nothing to compare it to. I could explain until I was blue in the face how a car works, or what a videogame is, but you wouldn't have a damn clue what I'm talking about. And then it'd just raise questions."

Flicking his gaze to the bay windows at my curt tone, he kept silent, still twisting the knife around and around. I could almost hear the gears clicking together in his mind.

"Why do you insist upon working so hard, _señorita_?"

I jerked my focus from where I was slowly being mesmerized by the glinting light on the knife blade to see Salazar was watching me again. His eyes skimming over me in close perusal took me off guard at the abrupt change in subject.

 _What the heck? I_ literally _just had this discussion Lesaro. Why am I having to repeat myself..._

At my perplexed silence, he gestured at me with the knife and I glanced down at the sweaty clothes I'd managed to forget I was wearing. "You do not need to feel as if you owe it simply because we rescued you. It is what any honorable man would have done."

Even as he spoke, I shook my head slightly. "That's not…entirely why. Yes, I help because I would like to repay you, but also because I'm used to being busy. I don't like having nothing to do but sit on my hands."

Salazar leaned forward, his earlier pique seeming to fade away at the scent of this new discovery. "How do you mean, 'used to it'? Surely you do not mean to actually perform common labor. You are female, despite your seeming preference to wearing male garb. Women do not take on the duties of men."

 _Between you and your lieutenant…_ I gave him a sardonic look at his outdated attitude before slipping to a more serious expression of concentration as I searched for a way to put it so he could understand. _This_ question I could answer. "I'm used to working. I'm used to having a job, and not having anything to do, any responsibilities or tasks, makes me bored. And I can't stand being bored."

"You're used to working…" His brow lowered in a scowl of puzzlement as he began to bounce the handle of the knife against the table. "As in _employment_?"

I grimaced, realizing what he was struggling to comprehend. _Good grief. I've been here almost a month now. Why's everyone all of the sudden so surprised that I'm helping out?_

I picked up my napkin and idly started folding it, trying to see how small I could make it as I collected my thoughts. "Society has…changed quite a bit in three centuries. Men aren't the sole providers for their families anymore. Haven't been for a few decades." I chewed my lip for a second as I unfolded the napkin and carefully smoothed out the wrinkles. "I work a full time job, which translates to forty hours of work a week. So yes, employment. Specifically, as an…office clerk, I guess you could say."

Salazar almost dropped his knife. Quickly snatching it before it fell on the floor, he carefully laid it on the table before resuming his questioning. "You are telling me that you have an occupation. One which you are paid for."

"Yes. I get a fixed salary," I nodded, trying not to either snicker or sigh in exasperation at his look of astonishment. Salazar had been content to let me help out all this time. I wondered what he'd been thinking if he didn't know I was used to working.

He gaped at me, apparently stunned by this revelation. "Paid…with money."

 _The expression on his face makes it almost worth having to deal with this._ I nodded again, slowly, trying to figure out why he was so incredulous about me working a job, why it seemed such a fantastical concept when compared to airplanes and electricity _._ "Once every two weeks. For my pay period anyway. Some people scheduled differently."

My raw nerves were strained to the breaking point, and I was quickly growing fed up with his shock, even though I knew it was a staple of this time period that women weren't usually in a paid occupation. Hoping to calm myself, I took a deep breath, then jumped, startled when Salazar abruptly stood from his chair and began to pace.

"That is not… _apropriado_! Proper! No woman should have to work in order to have to pay for her own living. It is a man's responsibility to provide for his family! Women tend to the home, they are _la cuidadoras_. No man with pride in his sense of worth would allow his woman to provide for _him_!"

I tilted my head, beginning to understand why he was so against me having a job. If I wasn't mistaken, his issue was it wasn't that women _shouldn't_ work, but that they shouldn't _have_ to. That it was the duty of the man to take care of the woman.

 _Oh, boy. If only you knew, big guy._ "The world doesn't work that way anymore. Some families might, but for the most part, that sort of situation doesn't exist like it does now. And what if there's no male family to provide support? Does that view still apply?"

He stammered for a second, his pacing halting as he thought on that for a second, then shook his head, muttering under his breath, apparently unable to come up with an adequate answer on the fly.

I bit my lip to hide a smile. For some strange little reason, I had the feeling that whoever he married would be the luckiest woman on the planet. My smile vanished at the unexpected pang in my chest at the thought and I quickly added, "Like me, for instance. No father, no brothers, my grandfather passed away. It's just me, my mom, and my grandmother, who's retired-"

"Retired?" He jumped on the word. "She worked as well?"

 _I almost feel bad for him. I'm uprooting his ideals like a bulldozer._ Taking pity on the man, I tried to explain in full. "My grandmother was a schoolteacher. She taught preschool. My mom has a much higher paying job. She-" I broke off, unable to figure out how to explain what my mother did.

"What profession does your mother undertake?" The words seemed to taste sour to him, the whole idea distasteful to a man who was raised Old World.

I scrunched my nose as I tried to figure a way he would understand. "She's…oh boy, how do I say this. Okay, so-wait, pencil and paper." I glanced around, needing something to write on. I was going to try something different.

He stomped over to his desk and snatched up what I was looking for, then stalked back to me and thrust them out impatiently. "Here."

"Thank you." I smoothed the paper and began sketching. It wouldn't be pretty, but it'd give him a concept. "So, along with everything else that changes in the next three hundred years, people can fly in big metal machines, called airplanes or helicopters, depending on which class. But in order to fly these safely, they require training so that you don't crash, which is both fatal and expensive. Aircraft isn't cheap. So the military hires out contractors-"

"Your Navy allows women to join!?"

I winced at Salazar's outburst. He'd moved to peer over my shoulder as I'd sketched, which meant he'd all but shouted in my ear. "Er, how about we come back to that. So they have these things called simulators. They're like pretend aircraft that people learn how to fly on before they get in the real thing to reduce errors and provide training. She works through a contractor who fixes and maintains a certain type. And done. This is a newer type helicopter the military uses, it's the best I can do from memory."

I leaned back so he could see the crude drawing of a V-22 Osprey, shoving the awareness of his firm chest against my shoulder to the back of my mind. This wasn't the time for that. "This is the cockpit, where the pilot controls it, these are the propellers, which is what directs and propels it in flight."

He gently slid the paper from under my hand and lifted it, studying the crude drawing for several minutes. "May I keep this?"

"Sure." I wondered why he wanted it, but didn't say anything as he carefully folded it and tucked it in a pocket inside his coat.

He was still for a moment, then pivoted and began to pace again, inadvertently distracting me with the graceful power of his lean body. He moved like a jungle cat, stalking back and forth across the room.

"It is simply not done." Salazar shook his head, and for a second I was confused by what he meant. "No woman should be performing a man's duties for-for monetary reasons. Certainly not as-as a _clerk_. "

 _Oh. How the hell is that more disturbing than_ airplanes _?_

"You're military," I pointed out. "You earn your money. You're paid for you what you do. It's basically the same concept. Just a different profession."

"But you're a woman! It is…different!" he sputtered. He smoothed a hand over his hair in agitation, scowling at the concept of a world so alien from his own.

I gave in and sighed in exasperation as I tried to explain, "As much as my laziness would love to agree with you, the simple fact is that I can't afford _not_ to work. The world simply doesn't turn that way anymore. I have to work so I can eat, and be able to buy basic necessities and pay my bills. And I would go crazy without something to occupy my time. I'm not one of your delicate little noble ladies whose sole purpose in life is to marry and reproduce. You should know that by now."

Salazar subsided to mutter in Spanish, probably something unpleasant about the way society had evolved.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of Google/SpanishDict)**

 _Detener_ \- Stop

 _Lo arruiné_. _¡Tarado!_ \- I ruined it. Idiot!

 _La cuidadoras_ \- The caretakers


	40. Chapter 40

**One more chapter after this, and then things kick into _high_ gear! I also would like to point out that there is _so_ much dialogue in this, and yet I still couldn't cover everything I wanted. O.o**

 **Edit (5/24/19): I put a nod towards one of Javier's other villains in here. Cookies if you find it!**

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"You already know that the idea of being born simply to marry and run said husband's household is as foreign to me as my society is to you. What exactly did you think women do with their entire lives?"

"I do not know! This is-this is-" He whirled and started to pace again.

Leaning back against the chair, I watched him struggle with the notion of such an alien world. I had it easier. I knew about the past, he knew nothing about the future.

 _So friggin' tired..._ I strained to resist a yawn. My social battery was beyond drained, and I just wanted to crawl into my bed. Or Salazar's. Really, any bed would do at this point.

If I let myself think about it, I missed his bed. More so than I would have imagined. The soft, fluffy mattress had been really comfy and I loved his sheets, perfect for snuggling in.

 _Plus there was that toasty Spaniard keeping us warm-_

 _Shut up!_

I quickly returned to the subject to distract myself. "There are people who can afford not to work, but they're few and far between, and are usually…not nice people." Was probably easier to leave it at that than try to explain the "rich person" stereotype. "Nobility simply doesn't exist anymore. Neither do servants, really. Besides, what about maids in this time? They're employed, barely, and last time I checked, they were still women."

There was a long, pregnant pause.

"A fair point," he admitted grudgingly, then cocked his head. "Women working as clerks, in your Navy. This is… permitted everywhere?"

I clicked thoughtfully in my throat, knowing I was very ignorant of the outside world. "In most countries, yes."

By his expression, it seemed he simply couldn't visualize such a thing. I couldn't imagine how he'd react to the other things women did for a living.

I started picking at my food again, grateful that there were at least _some_ of his questions that I could answer. Not for the first time, I kicked myself that I hadn't been able to take world history and not making the time for it later.

Finally, Salazar returned to his seat, sitting down carefully, like the chair was about to collapse under him.

He took a deep swallow of wine, hesitating before setting down the glass. "You say nobility does not exist, nor do servants. What…does that mean?"

I took a bite before answering to his tentative question. "I'm what's called middle class. Middle class makes up the backbone of the economy. Nobility has been replaced by the upper class. They would be comparable to aristocrats of this time, but without the…nobility." I cocked my head, frowning as I tried to figure out how to explain it better.

Salazar waved his hand with a short toss of his head, halting my explanation and sparing me from stumbling over my words. "You may expand more on that later. I would like to return to your Navy. When you first told me your story, you spoke of ships larger and more powerful than the _Mary_. I would like you to tell me more about those. What kind of armaments do they have?"

I inwardly cringed. I knew extremely little about modern naval warships, and I already knew my lack of answers would undoubtedly frustrate him. And once he realized he was to be disappointed again, who knew how he would react? Especially after how he'd reacted earlier?

My heartbeat quickly became noticeable in my ears as anxiety returned with a vengeance, curdling in my stomach.

Would my inability to answer his questions always trigger his temper? Would I always have to worry about having to walk on eggshells so that I didn't piss him off? It wasn't that I couldn't understand why he would be angry, frustration was a lovely catalyst for volatile tempers, but it didn't help any when there would inevitably be more questions I couldn't answer.

Such as the one he'd just asked.

"Isabeau, are you well? You are quite pale."

I swallowed, knowing his concern was about to flip to something much less pleasant in about two point five seconds.

"I can't…answer your question." I flinched when he shifted tensely, inadvertently bracing to bolt before I realized what I was doing. I would have laughed if I wasn't feeling sick to my stomach. Run? How the fuck was I going to outrun Salazar? And even if I managed it, where was I going to run _to_?

Sure enough, he stiffened as my answer sank in, his mouth tightening in irritation. "Can't…or won't?"

My silence only served to heighten his rigidity.

"You wish to aggravate me again?"

Even as my shoulders hunched defensively, my own annoyance flared at that biting tone. I met his gaze straight on before glancing away, my brief resentment snuffed out at the cold aggravation emanating from his stiff frame.

"No...I...I can't." I could feel myself curling inwards, teeth clenched to prevent from chattering with apprehension.

I wanted nothing more than to return to the wonderful comfort of last night. Or even the previous aloofness from before I'd started to feel this strange warmth in my chest whenever he walked into sight.

I had to stop getting distracted by the kind, playful man I'd been seeing more and more of. This was the real Salazar, the man who captained a Spanish ship of the line, one of the most powerful ships in their entire Armada, as Reíno had told me proudly one night.

My attention jerked back to the present when Salazar stirred with tight aggravation vibrating from his frame. "Isabeau, I do not care for-"

His sudden, controlled movement made me shrink back before I could stop myself, muscles tensing, though why I felt so on edge, I didn't know.

But my involuntary response didn't go unnoticed.

His mouth snapped shut midsentence as he studied me closely, a disturbed look shadowing his face. His entire body abruptly became rigid, both hands clenching into fists until his knuckles turned white.

I wondered what my expression looked like to cause such a reaction.

"Isabeau…you think I would…strike you?"

I twitched, clenching my molars as I glanced warily at those threatening fists, faint unease skittering down my spine even as he visibly forced himself to relax under my gaze.

His brow furrowed in growing concern as my silence continued.

Another question I didn't know how to answer. He could hurt me so easily…yet I instinctively knew he wouldn't. After everything I'd said and done, if he was going to hit me, he more than likely would have done it by now.

But I couldn't help the irrational urge to cringe every time he became angry. It would be all too easy for him to unsheathe his sword and slice through my skin like a razor cutting through silk, any attempt to ward him off being laughably futile. This was a man who was trained to kill people, and was _very_ good at it, from what I'd been told. And I didn't doubt it.

I wasn't even sure _where_ this sudden wariness had come from. Was it because he'd been angry earlier, after I'd had my unsettling realization that these men were all highly trained soldiers? Or was it me becoming too attached to an unpredictable Spanish _capitán_ and losing my sense of detachment that had been sustaining me during his previous tempers?

A sharp exhale caught my attention and I slid a cautious glance at my dinner companion's face under my lashes.

Salazar had leaned his head back, his eyes squeezed shut in an almost pained expression. The usual sternness had slipped away to let a profound weariness deepen the lines in his face.

I couldn't help the feeling that I'd disappointed him again with my silence and sank deeper into my chair. _I just want this evening to be over with…I'm so tired of this emotional trampoline. I want to go back to bed._

"To me, the idea of striking a woman is unthinkable," Salazar said suddenly, jerking my concentration back to him. "Only a man who has no control over his lesser nature would resort to such a dishonorable thing. And I am not that man." His eyes snapped open and locked with mine. "Not even at my most furious."

I shivered, feeling the sheer strength of his will in those words. Yet I couldn't help the slithering thought that it was easy to say things like that, but when it came time to act upon such declarations…

"You don't believe me."

I winced at the bitter note in his voice, wondering how the hell I'd wound up in this discussion. I avoided intensely charged situations such as this like the plague, and here I was, right smack in the middle of one.

Glancing away, I stuttered, "I…it's not that I don't believe you, _Capitán_. It's that…I'm used to people saying they mean one thing, but when push comes to shove, all their good intentions go right out the window."

Salazar stared at me for a long moment, frustration evident in the tensing of his frame, the deep furrowing of his brow. "I see you have returned to using my title… _Sí_ , there are many who would not hesitate to raise a hand to one who is weaker. What must I do to make you understand that I would never be one of them?"

I rubbed my face, my own frustration tight in my chest like a vise at his bleak tone. "I don't know! I just…I just don't know…"

Silence thickened the air, uncomfortable and cloying.

I'd gotten myself into this situation, and now I couldn't see how to get out. _I'd rather be anywhere than here right now._

Movement rustled and I fought the urge to look up to see what he was doing. I needed space. I needed to escape, to regroup and rebalance my emotions-

"The first medal I ever earned was from eliminating a very powerful man."

I looked up to see he'd risen from his chair, food untouched, to stand in front of the bay windows, hands clasped behind his back as he stared out at the _Silent Mary's_ slipstream.

"He was an admiral, and I had just received my promotion to captaincy, when he brutally raped a high-ranking official's daughter and fled," Salazar continued in a curt tone that expressed just how difficult this was for him to say. "It was a long and harsh pursuit. He hadn't become an admiral through luck or bribery, but through his own skill and experience. Yet, aside from my orders, I had my own reasons for hunting him down. I wanted answers."

Turning to face me, he took in my rapt expression, saw that I'd pushed my chair back to watch him, and slowly moved towards me. "Eventually, I managed to corner his ship, disabling it, and when I'd beaten him to the floor of his own quarters after he tried to fight, I asked him why he'd done it. Why he'd forced himself upon a woman who had done nothing to deserve such pain, such degradation."

He stopped, close enough that I felt his coat brush my legs, had to crane my neck back to see his face, felt the heat of his powerful form.

But I didn't pull away. I was transfixed by the aggrieved look twisting his handsome features. The air almost crackled with intensity, yet I couldn't have moved away even if I'd wanted to.

In a move I never would have expected from the Spanish Butcher, he suddenly lowered himself to kneel in front of me, face morphing to an intense degree of solemn sincerity as he reached forward and wrapped his warm hand around my icy fingers.

He lowered his gaze to our clasped hands and in a soft voice that didn't lessen the harshness of his tone, whispered, "He told me that women were nothing more than to be used. That they were objects strictly for the entertainments of men, and she should have been grateful for his attentions."

I twitched when his hand involuntarily clenched tighter around mine and his face hardened before he spat, "I ordered him keelhauled by his own men. He succumbed to his wounds shortly after he was imprisoned. The King himself rewarded me for bringing that _monstruo_ to justice."

I had a vague notion what keelhauling was, and shuddered at the thought of what that must have been like. But the only one I felt compassion for was Salazar, for having to have gone through that. From the fierce emotions battling on his face, I suspected that event had held an almost personal impact, and hoped for all my worth that it wasn't tied to his mother-

He lifted his head and his eyes flickered between mine, the expression on his face so strong, so powerful, I physically _felt_ it. "I gave you my word that I would keep you safe. That you were under my protection. I do not make such promises lightly, Isabeau, and I believe you know that."

I felt a quiver ripple through the strong, calloused fingers gripping mine, and I stroked my thumb over his to offer comfort. I dropped my eyes to stare at the tanned hand covering my pale skin, not for the first time marveling how something so powerful could be so gentle.

Salazar took my silence as continued uncertainty and began to withdraw, loosening his grasp with a deep sigh.

 _No!_ I squeezed his fingers, holding them tight as the force of his vow settled in my bones.

In that moment, I _knew_ I had nothing to fear from this man. No reason to be worried about the sword at his waist, nor the strength of his hands.

He had given me his word he wouldn't hurt me, and as Reíno had told me, would sooner harm himself than break his word. No matter how angry he was. And with what I'd said about my dread about reaching land, I could trust him to protect me from men like those he hunted.

The notion of such a trust, a reliance, on one person, a practical stranger, was alien. I'd learned quickly that one could only trust other people so far. And they were bound to disappoint that trust eventually.

But this man, after everything he'd done for me, didn't deserve my doubt.

Salazar waited patiently for me to reach my conclusions, his gaze fixed on our hands, still clasped together.

With a faint exhale, I leaned forward and lowered my face in his hair, gently resting my cheek against the soft inky strands, inhaling the crisp traces of his soap.

I felt him sag slightly at my touch before he lifted my hand and held it to his lips.

Salazar didn't move and neither did I. Not for the longest moment.

Time slowed to a standstill as I gave him what comfort I could for the difficulties of his memories, tried to express that I understood him enough now that I believed him, and he repaid my gesture with the press of his lips against my skin.

I suddenly remembered his scarred knee and tapped his shoulder with my free hand as I pulled back so he could stand. "Up. Your knee must be killing you."

He straightened, raising his head to study my face closely, reading the subtle nuances my expression.

 _His eyes are dark chocolate,_ I realized with slight wonder, somehow having missed that in all the time I'd spent with him. Though to be fair, they seemed black in the bright sun, and I hadn't been able to discern the shade in the dark.

Whatever he saw in my eyes must have reassured him, as he squeezed my fingers tightly before letting go, rising to his feet with a sharp exhalation of pain.

"You shouldn't have kneeled like that," I told him worriedly, watching him move stiffly back to his chair, flexing the hand that'd held mine for so long and I wondered if he'd cramped it.

He hesitated a beat before responding through tight lips, "On the contrary. I need to do it…more." He sank into his chair and stretched out the leg that troubled him, grimacing as he did. "There may come a time where it will be necessary to kneel, a time when I cannot afford to be in pain."

I opened my mouth and immediately paused, his admission of weakness throwing me off guard.

Salazar wasn't a man who admitted to weaknesses lightly, if he even did at all. So what did mean that he'd admitted to this one? _Why_ had he?

"Is it the scar tissue or the muscle that hurts?" I asked, for now setting aside what just happened until I was alone and could process the noticeable shift between me and the confusing masculine puzzle across from me.

"Usually neither, unless I strain it. For now, it is the muscle, though the scar tissue occasionally makes itself known." Salazar began to eat his dinner, completely ignoring the significance of actually telling me he was in pain.

I sat back, stunned by what he was freely divulging. _He's…legit admitting his leg is hurting. What the_ fuck _just happened right now?_

The moment between us had apparently shifted more than I'd thought. It felt like I was tumbling off a cliff, everything changing in a blur before my eyes.

Recovering enough that I could at least unglue my tongue, I asked, "Do you do anything for it? Heat or whatever it was you put on my bruises?"

He wiped his mouth before answering, "Sometimes. Most likely not as often as I should. How are your bruises?"

"Gone," I told him, giving him a grateful smile. "That salve worked wonders. Thank you."

He inclined his head at my thanks, then took a swallow of wine before saying, "It was an old remedy of my grandmother's, and I find it works on a great many things. I am glad it helped."

From what Lesaro had told me, I knew better than to ask questions about his family. It didn't stop me from feeling an intense curiosity, but I didn't want to shatter this fragile moment with a subject that would make him withdraw again. "It might also help your knee if you massage the scar tissue. I don't know if it'll do much since it's an old wound, but it can't hurt. Do you have more of that salve?"

"I will need to purchase more ingredients soon. For now, I have enough. Are you certain your bruises are healed?" he asked nonchalantly. "I would not object to stroking my hands over your skin again if they are still troubling you."

I had just taken a drink from my water as his words clicked and I sputtered, face immediately flushing hot at his bold insinuation. I coughed and glared at him where he was watching me over the rim of his wineglass as he took a casual sip, as if he hadn't roguishly suggested something far more intimate than simply helping me with my bruises.

"You're not funny, Salazar." I coughed again, resolutely ignoring my mind perking its ears hopefully as I scrambled to regain my composure. "Yes, I'm sure they're healed."

His smirk melted into a smile when he heard me use his name. "I am pleased to hear that. Those were very impressive bruises. Ah, and your ribs?"

Experimentally, I took a deep breath, satisfied when my ribs only protested at the fullest expansion of my lungs. "Almost back to normal."

He nodded, satisfied with my answer. "Excellent. You heal quickly."

I lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. "I scar easily, though. I have a lot simply from cat scratches or shallow cuts."

 _Thank God, we're back on leveler ground. That was just…very strange._

We ate in silence for a few moments before Salazar cleared his throat with an uncomfortable expression. "I must apologize, again, it would seem, for my anger earlier. It was not you I was upset with."

I lowered my gaze to my plate, pushing the food around with my silverware for a long minute. I knew that when I was angry, I had a really, really hard time not to take it out on other people. Usually I vented and would be okay after that, but Salazar didn't strike me as the kind of personality to vent to other people, or even to show deeper emotions that could be construed as weakness.

His sincere apology also lessened the hurt still stinging from him lashing out. I had a feeling that he didn't apologize often, and I was grateful he had.

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I finally lifted my eyes to see he was waiting attentively for my response.

"Thank you. I appreciate that," I said, hesitating slightly before adding, "And I'm sorry for being late. It's really hard for me to keep track of time without any clocks."

Salazar inclined his head amiably. "Apology accepted. Timepieces aren't capable of keeping accuracy for long periods while at sea. But next time you are as monstrously late as you were tonight, there will be consequences."

The dark, stern tone sent involuntary chills racing down my back and I shuddered in response, unable to help all sorts of horrid imaginings at what 'consequences' might entail.

Then I looked up and caught the mischievous smile touching his mouth and realized he was simply teasing.

"Mean old man," I accused with narrowed eyes, not appreciating his attempt to jar me.

He lifted one shoulder in an unrepentant half-shrug. "You are fun to tease. I can only resist so much."

"Go ahead. Tease me some more." I lifted my knife meaningfully and he chuckled at my empty threat before turning his attention back to his meal.

The man was such a brat when he wanted to be, but if I was being truthful with myself, I actually enjoyed his teasing. Probably much more than I should. It was definitely an improvement over earlier.

Trying to distract myself from the dizzying relief that he was no longer upset, I curiously lifted a lid from a small dish close to me and froze.

It was the grilled pineapple that I loved.

He'd remembered. He'd remembered, and had asked Miguel to make more. And I'd forgotten about having dinner with him.

I covered it back up and bit my lip _hard_ , quickly turning to concentrate on the molded glass panes to ignore the stinging in my eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Salazar asked, concern audible in his voice.

I shook my head, breath hiccupping as guilt and remorse came crashing in from all directions. It hit me all at once; being slapped, the worry for the kind men who'd taken care of me, Salazar's anger and disappointment, the emotional trampoline of my life.

It was all just too much.

Tears clogged my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I wouldn't start crying right here. Yet even as I fought it as hard as I could, I could feel them trickling down my cheeks.

Salazar was instantly next to me, wiping them away with gentle fingers, any trace of his earlier icy detachment melted away. " _No llores, no llores. ¿Qué pasa, cariño?_ "

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Sniffling, I jerked my head, trying to avoid his caresses while I desperately struggled to get myself under control.

But he slid his hand along my jaw, stroking his thumb over my cheek as he tried to make me look at him, murmuring shushing noises.

I didn't want to look at him! He'd gotten the pineapple for me and I'd repaid his kindness by all but forgetting about him!

"Isabeau, why do you cry?" The deep timbre of his voice was so tender it only made the tears come faster.

"I was late!" I hiccupped, mortified that I'd turned into such a watering pot. "I'm so sorry…You'd remembered the pineapple, I forgot about dinner and I was late, and I disappointed you and made you angry and-and-"

He hushed me softly as I hiccupped again, scrubbing my eyes quickly as I tried desperately to stem the tears before my nose clogged. "And I don't know why I'm crying but it needs to stop!"

He quickly pulled out a handkerchief from inside his coat, holding my hand away from my face so that he could dry my eyes. "I am sorry for saying you disappoint me. I shouldn't have said that, but I will not think less of you for crying, Isabeau."

I huffed a wet, morose snort, slightly mollified by his apology. " _I'll_ think less of me, thank you very much."

Murmurs in Spanish stilled most of the abrupt torrent and I dug my fingernails into my arm, using pain to get the rest of it under control.

"Tears are not a weakness, _querida_. And you do not use yours as weapon." Salazar clicked his tongue with displeasure, sliding his thumb under my palm and lifting my hand so that I couldn't cause myself pain.

He firmly placed my hand on my leg and pressed the handkerchief over my eyes one last time before taking my face in both hands. His dark eyes glanced between mine before flicking over my face.

"I know, I don't cry prettily," I tried to joke with another sniff as I struggled to clear my sinuses without embarrassing myself. The worst part of impromptu crying jags was the sudden inability to breath.

One corner of his mouth tilted upwards and he lifted one hand to tap me on the nose. "No, no, you do not cry prettily. Your nose is red and your cheeks are splotchy. Truly not a lady, if you cry like this."

I halfheartedly glared at him, appreciating his attempt at humor. "You are _not_ helping, Salazar."

" _Sí soy yo_ ," he countered with a relieved smile, cupping my cheek in his other hand as I hung my head wearily. Fingers stroked along my jaw and I leaned into his touch, ignoring the twinge of pain from my bruised cheek.

Misery and dejection from my both physically and mentally exhausting day swamped me. It didn't help that he'd seen me cry, even after all the other times he'd seen me lose my composure. I didn't like people seeing me cry, ever, and the fact that Salazar had was a weakness I wasn't sure I felt comfortable with him knowing.

 _Okay, I'm ready for this day to be over. It started off with a bang and only went downhill from there._

I jerked my head with a tired sigh, trying to shake his hand loose so that I could rebuild my emotional barrier, but he refused to let go. It was a struggle to remind myself of his cutting words just a few minutes ago, but my mind quickly recalled the protective way he'd held me last night, and that he was only human, with a human's array of emotions and facets.

I was slowly realizing that underneath the immaculate exterior, it was easy to forget he was only a man, that all the sides I'd seen were still the same person.

If this man was so alien to me, what did I seem like to him? How unworldly was I to what he was accustomed to? What details had he figured out about me? How the hell was he not an emotionally exhausted wreck?

One huge palm smoothed over my hair, calluses slightly catching on the strands as I was pulled out of my thoughts.

"I don't think you realize what another woman would do in your situation. I can say with certainty that she would not be apologizing for her tears, using them only to her advantage. But-" he tilted my face to meet those dark eyes again, seeming to read my very mind, "you should not be ashamed to cry. I think you've more than earned a few tears over the last few weeks."

His voice was like a soothing caress against my raw nerves, a melodic balm that drew over my skin and eased my rampant emotions.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of SpanishDict)**

 _No llores, no llores. ¿Qué pasa, cariño?_ \- Don't cry, don't cry. What is wrong, darling?

 _Sí soy yo_ \- Yes I am

 **I think** **that at this point,** **it's safe to say it's not one of Isabeau's better days.**


	41. Chapter 41

**So, as I'm sure all of you have noticed, things have changed quite a bit between our two. Salazar's not quite as aloof and Isabeau has gotten much more comfortable with being in his company (unless he gets all miffed about something). I have to say, I never, ever, _ever_ anticipated this story exploding like it has. Wow, what. A. Ride. (No, we're not done, I just wanted to share my dazed state)**

 **Edit: (Hopefully) corrected my butchered Spanish. Thank you again, Victoria Saint Claire!**

* * *

I closed my eyes and nuzzled gratefully into his palm, leaning into his strength. I didn't know why I was so comfortable with doing that, especially after what I'd just been put through not a few minutes prior. Even odder when it had always been only myself to provide comfort for so long.

His thumb stroked along my cheekbone even as his fingers rubbed gently in my hair, his hand large and masculine against my neck.

I sucked in a breath, finally feeling a little more composed, before opening my eyes and giving him a faint smile. "I thought it was Spaniards who're supposed to be driven to high emotions?"

Salazar scoffed, pulling his hand away from my face, his fingers stroking along my skin as he did. "I think anyone would hard pressed to be subjected to high emotions more so than an unwitting time traveler."

"Touché." I tilted my head in agreement, rubbing the dampness from my face with my sleeve. I gave in and used my napkin to blow my nose as gracefully as I could. It was definitely some major breach of etiquette, but I was desperate and the thick mucus was sitting nauseatingly close to my gag reflex.

Slowly, I lowered my head to rest my cheek against the table. At this point, I really couldn't be any ruder, but I simply couldn't care anymore, completely drained from the emotional rollercoaster of the day. "I'm done. Between you and Lady BeKatt, I'm just done."

To my surprise, Salazar chose to sit in the chair next to me instead of moving back across the table. "I heard something unpleasant occurred between the two of you. _Teniente_ Lesaro was…sparse, with details."

My cheek still against the table, I groaned for a long minute, trailing off into deep clicks in the back of my throat, much to Salazar's bemusement. _I'm guessing Lesaro didn't mention my face…which means_ I'm _supposed to do it. Great._

"Ah...I see I am not wrong. What happened?"

I chose my words carefully, not wanting to have any fallout on Lady BeKatt. Not with the possibility that she might be able to evolve from her current frame of mind. "Let's just say, it was a good thing you weren't there."

The formidable personage next to me stilled, tension stiffening his limbs mid-stretch for his wineglass. "Isabeau…"

"It's nothing, she was just…a little rude, is all," I answered quickly at that warning tone, trying to keep him from flipping into another interrogation that would end in even worse circumstances for my fellow passenger.

He stared down at me, focus deeply penetrating as he scrutinized my face.

"Hmm." The deep hum didn't sound convinced in the slightest, but his frame relaxed minutely and he took a sip of wine before pulling his plate in front of him from his previous spot.

He swallowed a bite of food before asking, "Your father does not provide for you in any way? He allows you to work for your living?"

It took a second to flip conversations before I was able to process what he'd asked. It was suspicious that he'd let the matter of Lady BeKatt go so easily, but I was too surprised that we'd returned to this topic to ponder it. "I don't know who my father is."

My blunt reply sank in for a moment, then Salazar began to tap his fingers against the arm of his chair.

I raised my head, slightly distracted by the movement of those lean fingers as I explained, "Yes, my mother was married when she had me. Yes, she knows who he is, and no, I couldn't care less. The man made no effort to even see the offspring he'd spawned for twenty-five years, so I really wouldn't give a shit if he took a flying leap off a cliff."

He reared back slightly, surprised by my blunt tone. " _Perdón,_ I meant no offense."

Wrinkling my nose, I shook my head. "I'm not offended, but any questions about him are a waste of your time."

Silence settled between us, then I watched as his focus seemed to drift inwards for a moment.

"I often wish I hadn't known my father," he said quietly, brow furrowing in response to some dark memory.

I tilted my head curiously. This was the first I'd heard him come close to speaking of his parents. I gathered it was something he didn't speak of often, especially after what Lesaro had said. "Why?"

His fist clenched against his thigh, muscles visibly tightening under his uniform. I spared the movement a glance before returning back to stare at him inquisitively.

A beat passed before his gaze flicked back to my face, his expression unreadable. "I will tell you, one day. But not tonight."

I nodded hesitantly, extremely curious, as I knew that something had happened his mother, resulting in Lesaro's mother looking after him at some point, but I didn't dare ask for details.

Apparently, my face was more expressive than I'd thought.

Salazar scoffed lightly, whether at my curiosity or his continuing the conversation, I didn't know. "I suppose you now wish to know what happened to my family."

I sat up all the way, wondering at his dry tone. "Do you say that because it's human nature to be curious or because all the women you've kept company with have asked at this point?"

He blinked, apparently taken aback that I'd asked such a blunt question, then grimaced. "You should not know of such things."

 _Oops._ I shrugged, trying hard not to imagine him with another woman. I slid my fingers around my fork to try and distract myself from the weird clench in my chest. "I'm not stupid. And I'm not trying to ruffle your feathers, just genuinely curious."

Instead of answering right away, he took a deep sip of wine as he gazed at me thoughtfully, noting me idly twisting my fork in my hand before finally replying, "Both."

"Do you tell them?"

This time, his smirk was almost disdainful at my quick question. "No. It requires more than we would have…shared at that point."

I made a noise of acknowledgment as I leaned back against my chair, squeezing the fork like it was someone's neck. _Why the fuck am I comparing myself to whatever kind of company he keeps?_

Before I had time to poke too deep at what suspiciously felt like jealousy, he added, "Someday, I will tell you all, if you still wish to know."

His eyes seemed fixated on my face, almost as if he could see the vicious contempt for the women that had asked him that question, and all the implications of what he'd… _shared_ with them.

A somewhat smug smile was curling on his lips before it froze half-formed.

He suddenly leaned forward, startling me, and caught my chin in his strong grip before I could react. Dark brows abruptly drew into a scowl as he peered at me with surprising amount of scrutiny, the frown becoming more pronounced as he tilted my face to expose one side.

The side that was bruised.

 _Shit!_ I'd actually forgotten about it, until he'd noticed the bruise. _Not good!_

"Isabeau, did Lady BeKatt slap you?" Salazar asked in a disturbingly even voice, even as I felt his fingers squeeze minutely harder.

Chills skittered over the back of my neck in alarm at his deceptively controlled tone. He'd said he would never strike a woman, yet I was suddenly aware that still left a lot of loopholes. But at the surge of fury emanating from that powerful physique, I didn't dare lie. "She won't do it again."

Still gripping my chin, he twisted my face back to meet hard, glittering eyes. "You would let her get away with this?"

I stared back, flexing my jaw before answering, "This once. She gets away with it this once. After that, _I'll_ deal with it. Please."

His cheeks visibly rippled as he gritted his teeth in displeasure at my plea. Anger remained evident in the hard lines of his face, but scarily enough, he remained silent. His fingers slid from my jaw as he stared hard at my cheek, leashed fury rolling off of steeled muscles as he clenched his now empty hand into a fist.

Seeing his white knuckles, I had the sinking feeling that no matter what I said, he wasn't going to let Lady BeKatt get away with her actions without some form of retribution.

And secretly, I was actually a little glad. Try as I might, I couldn't help feeling a bitter taste for revenge. I knew it was only human, but the contradicting emotions were driving me crazy.

Trying to soothe his dark mood and my self-centered emotions, I offered a tentative smile. "Besides, Miguel's already beaten you to the punch. He promised that next time, he'd carry me to your cabin and drop me in your lap if I didn't come to you about it."

That seemed to break through his ire.

His lips twitched in amusement, the scowl slowly smoothing from his face, though anger still lingered in his eyes. "That would definitely hinder her punishment."

Not sure what he meant by that, I cocked my head quizzically.

Seeing my bewilderment, Salazar's mouth slid into a roguish grin. His anger fully dissipated to be replaced with something just as potent, with a different kind of tension coiling through his muscles. "Another woman would be the last thing on my mind if you were in my lap, Isabeau."

Mental gears clicked slowly together for a few seconds before I realized what he was insinuating. I could literally _feel_ the heat emanating from my cheeks as I quickly stammered, "Y-y-you said you wanted another story?"

His lips twitched, not fooled for a second. " _Sí_ , I do."

He let me retreat, leaning forward on his elbows and lacing his fingers under his chin as he watched attentively while I took several nervous swallows of water.

I wondered what I'd do if and when he decided he wasn't going to let me back away anymore. "Anything in particular you're wanting?"

A thoughtful look flitted across his face before he asked, "One from your future. One not catered to the limits of this time's technology. Stretch my imagination."

Rifling through my mental library, I stumbled across one that would be _perfect_ for lightening the suddenly thick atmosphere. "How do you feel about horror?"

One eyebrow lifted in unspoken challenge. "Ghost stories do not disturb me."

Grinning widely, I launched into a tale about a deep-space mining crew that stumbled upon an alien ship, filled with thousands of eggs. Only for one of the crew sent to investigate the wreckage to be brought back with a strange creature wrapped around his face. And then the true horror began.

"The woman, Ripley, survived?" Salazar asked, having been silent the entire time I'd told him the story of _Alien_ amidst having to swat his fingers away from my pineapple. Though he managed to snag a few pieces I pretended not to see.

"Yup. Her and Jonesy both." I licked my fingers, trying not to moan at the delicious taste of brown sugar and pineapple, before glancing up at his unexpected silence.

Dark, almost black eyes were riveted on my mouth, tongue midswipe along my fingers, before I suddenly realized that I was being terribly rude.

"Oh, sorry." I hastily reached for my napkin instead. At least I'd managed to lick most of the juices off. "Any more questions?"

He swallowed, his hand flexing against his thigh as he inhaled deeply through his nose. "What is an…android?"

I frowned curiously at the strained note in his voice, then shrugged. "It's an artificial human. Been a part of the whole sci-fi genre for a long while now. Think if it as a human automaton, or like a golem. Humanoid, but not really human. They're usually depicted as lacking emotions, morality, the sort of thing that makes us 'human'."

A thick silence fell, one that I didn't know what to make of. Surely me licking my fingers hadn't been that horrible a breach of etiquette?

Salazar suddenly shifted tensely, as if he was in discomfort. "Is that the end of Ripley's tale?

"There's a couple more that come after it, my favorite being the one where they're sent back to the planet again, only this time, we get to meet the Xenomorph Queen."

Interest was audible in his voice as he asked eagerly, "Would you tell that one now?"

I shook my head, then as I raised my water glass, told him cheekily, "You only asked for one, _Capitán_."

I knew he preferred me to use his name, but I liked using his title now that I'd figured out how to use the proper inflection. And if the sudden glint in his eyes was anything to go by, he liked it too.

He blinked, taken aback by my unexpected daring. Then his mouth tilted in a sly half-smile. "I knew that simply once wouldn't satisfy my appetite."

I slowly lowered the glass before I could drink and stared at him. That had sounded a _lot_ more indecent than just asking for stories.

Salazar watched me in return, smile slowly tilting wider the longer I remained silent. After it seemed like I wasn't going to respond, he reached to take a sip from his own glass.

I waited until he was actually drinking to fire back, "I'll tell you a bedtime story, but you'd have to ask _nicely_."

 _Success!_ I grinned triumphantly as he choked slightly on his wine, then quickly ducked down to my lukewarm food.

I knew it wasn't wise to be trading suggestive comments with someone who was far more at ease with the game than I was, but I just couldn't help myself. It was so much fun to knock him off balance.

A deep chuckle from my dinner companion made my cheeks warm.

 _Of course, it's far easier for him to knock_ me _off balance…_

"Ah, _señorita_. You should not tease me with offers like that."

I heard him shift and lifted my eyes to see him lean forward, the almost hungry focus in his gaze making me swallow convulsively.

"I just might accept."

 _Holyshit!_ My face was freakin' tomato red at that deep, seductive tone, and the more I tried not to blush, of course the redder I became. I quickly dropped my eyes to concentrate hard on my plate as if it contained the answers of the universe.

Salazar's husky laugh rippled over my skin like black velvet. "You do not have much experience being in a man's company, do you?"

I narrowed my eyes at the suspiciously thoughtful tone, hearing the edge of arrogant amusement, but didn't dare look up. "That obvious, huh?"

"Very much so. Why is that, may I ask?"

 _Oh boy, if only you knew._ "No time for it, mostly. And most of the guys where I come from are quite stupid. Honestly, it amazes me that they live long enough to reproduce." I didn't feel like embarrassing myself by admitting I'd also been ruined by fictional characters. Somehow, I doubted he'd understand.

Salazar's predatory focus vanished as he spluttered a snort, jerking my head up. "What on earth does that mean?"

I snickered and began to tell him about some of the idiotic things I'd seen guys being recorded doing, though girls weren't exactly exempt. I'd seen girls do some pretty dumb shit, but I had yet to see a girl try to jump from a second story railing into a pair of pants held by her friends.

"And people actually do these things?" Salazar was aghast, gaping at me in stunned disbelief.

I smiled sympathetically, suddenly having to struggle not to yawn. "And that's not even the worst of the stupidity. I'm telling you, people are very, very dumb. I can't even _begin_ to tell you how dumb. And it's only going to get worse."

"I do not think I'd want to visit your time," he muttered. "I cannot tolerate fools, and it sounds like they run about unchecked."

"And that's why I don't spend a lot of time around people my own age." I stretched, feeling things pop pleasantly in response.

I glanced past Salazar to see it was black as pitch outside his windows and realized we'd been talking for a lot longer than I'd thought. _Would explain why I'm so stiff_.

"It makes sense as to why you're not accustomed to the company of men when they insist on remaining boys," he agreed, wiping his mouth with his napkin.

I refused to touch that comment with a ten-foot pole, instead lacing my fingers together and stretched them outwards, satisfied when all my knuckles popped at once.

Salazar watched with a slightly disturbed expression, though his reaction wasn't nearly as entertaining as Lesaro's. "That feels…good?"

I held up a finger for him to wait and carefully twisted my back, feeling large snaps popping through my vertebrae, mostly in the lumbar area. I sighed with relief, then twisted the other way, only get a few wimpy cracks but the stretching still felt nice.

"Feels very good." I relaxed in my chair with a happy groan, fully ready to just fall asleep in my chair. It was a little surprising that I could be as relaxed as I was, but I suppose that was tantamount to how tired I was.

 _His bed is so close…think he'd be willing to share it? Cuddles sound perfect right about now._

"You still have questions?" I asked, distracting myself from thinking about Salazar and cuddling. I'd been able to grow comfortable with him while he was sick, but Salazar awake was a whole different level of intense.

"I do," he sighed, absently rubbing his jaw, "but you cannot give me the answers I seek. It is frustrating, but there is nothing to be done."

Calm settled through my body, slightly soured with disappointment, as I watched him under my lashes, patiently waiting for what he wanted next.

Dark chocolate eyes skimmed over me, seeming to notice everything. "As much as I've come to enjoy our enlightening dinner, you appear to be falling asleep."

I shrugged wordlessly with a yawn, growing more relaxed by the minute. I probably _would_ fall asleep in the chair if he let me.

Salazar languidly studied my limp figure, more at ease than I'd ever seen him. "Should I carry you to your bed now or wait until you slide out of the chair?"

"Your bed is closer." I closed my eyes, unable to help fantasizing about silk sheets and delicious warmth.

I heard him chuckle in response. "I do not think you would be nearly so relaxed come morning when you awoke in my arms."

"Mm."

Movement rustled, his medals clinking as he stood, sliding warm, strong fingers around my wrists. "Come. Before you fall asleep."

I groaned plaintively as I let him pull me to my feet, shaking myself awake. "Alright, I'm up, I'm up."

The thick comforter on his bed was calling my name, but I forced my legs to cooperate and followed after him as he led me to the door, away from the huge, plush mattress.

Salazar used his grip on the wrist he still held to bring me gently to halt in front of him.

I blinked a few times to clear the sudden blurriness in my eyes and looked up at him curiously.

"Don't give Magda any more ideas regarding Lady BeKatt, _por favor_. I already have to listen to her squawk about her starched blankets. I would appreciate if you would spare me future headaches."

The deep hum of his voice vibrated over my skin until his words sank in. I bristled slightly, never having been able to tolerate being blamed for something I didn't do. "I only suggested one thing, and that's it. Nothing else. If you wanna pick a bone with someone, you should try-"

"Hush." Salazar pressed a finger against my mouth, his lips twitching as he fought a smile at my indignation. "I am not blaming you for anything other than the adhesive. I am simply asking that you don't supply my officers with more notions. That's all."

I made as if to nip his finger but resisted actually biting. He _was_ asking nicely, after all.

 _I suppose I'll behave._ I broke into a tired grin, feeling that reckless urge to tease him again, which was really dangerous while his finger was tracing along the bow of my upper lip. "Aye, _capitán_."

One brow rose dangerously at my tongue-in-cheek response, adding to the tickling shivers skating down my spine.

He shifted closer, one arm lifting to brace on the door above my head, the hand at my face dropping to splay against the door next to my hip on the other side, and I realized that I had been effectively pinned against the solid wood.

Suddenly nervous, definitely much more awake than I'd been about five seconds ago, I fidgeted uncertainly as I was subjected to a slow perusal that reminded me I was still wearing sweaty, smelly clothes that did nothing to flatter my body. Between the bindings around my breasts and pants not meant for a feminine figure, I was as unattractive as I could possibly be, not that I was much of a looker to begin with. Not to mention that I was probably in dire need of a bath.

Yet the intense heat in those almost black eyes made Salazar's scrutiny feel like he was actually touching me, those big, capable hands stroking softly along my skin to follow the path of his eyes, and that he liked what he saw.

I chomped on my tongue, determined not to squirm as the warmth from his towering frame made me acutely aware of the goosebumps hidden under my shirt.

"Such compliance compels me to give in to your desire to slumber in my bed," he murmured, a strange glint in that dark stare. "In my arms."

A glint that made my thighs squeeze together in response to a deep ache building in response, hot little embers floating upwards to tingle in my breasts. "Whatever nefarious intentions are running through your brain wouldn't get very far. Too tired to deal with that. I'd be snoring as soon as my head hit the pillow."

My attempt to cool the fierce heat thickening the air only seemed to amuse him. He inched closer, his eyes flicking down to my throat as I swallowed, mouth suddenly dry at the wicked slant to his lips.

"Are you certain? I can be very … persuasive, when the need arises. And you've already proven to be quite acquiescent this evening. I find myself wondering just how far that agreeableness could be enticed…"

My brain was a completely melted puddle of uselessness and I struggled to think of a way to defuse this without making him angry again or turning into a situation I wasn't able to cope with yet. Might not ever be able to.

To my surprise, the hand by my hip lifted and stroked along my face, from my temple, down my cheek, along my jawbone, in one slow, silky caress, careful not to press into my bruise.

My skin prickled everywhere he'd touched, as if I was standing too close to an open flame, and I couldn't look away. His gaze had ensnared mine.

Salazar read the bewilderment in my eyes, his mouth quirking in a tiny smile before he pushed backwards, freeing me from my entrapment. "It is late. And we both have much to think about. I also have yet more questions for you. Shall we dine again tomorrow evening?"

I struggled to hide my reaction, but the scarlet hue of my skin made my efforts futile. "Preferably without the repeat raking over hot coals, please."

"Hmph." Yet his easy humor seemed to wrestle with something deeper, darker, just under the surface. Every now and then, a small glimpse flashed over his face, and whatever it was both fascinated and frightened me. A dark intensity that reminded me of when I'd first met him, the predator lying patiently in wait under his civilized veneer. A predator that was watching me intently. Hungrily.

He blinked and the almost determined gleam vanished, as if I'd only imagined it. Yet the unease it'd triggered still prickled under my skin.

I swallowed, my mouth dry with nerves. "How do you still have questions about the future? I figured I would have answered them all by now." I knew that he still wanted to know about Spain, but unless I had answers lying in the depth of my brain that eventually surfaced, I wouldn't be able to assuage his thirst for knowledge.

"I find myself continuously distracted in my efforts, _señorita_. You talk about such fascinating subjects that I cannot help becoming sidetracked until I've forgotten my original line of questioning." The raspy baritone shivered over my skin like a touch, though his posture was relaxed and I wasn't being regarded with anything other than polite attention.

Yet I wondered why that predatory intent was so strong tonight, all of the sudden.

Something clicked. _Is it…possible, that it's always been there? And he's just letting me see it more?_

I studied his face curiously, the heavy, noble features of his Spanish ancestry, the high brow, pronounced cheekbones, his sculpted jaw, the sensuous mouth. He was so handsome as to be practically devastating, and I knew I had no chance in hell, but still…sometimes I almost couldn't resist the desire to stroke my fingers along his jaw.

 _I wonder if he'd let me touch him, if I asked…_

He allowed my scrutiny, a faint smirk twitching on those tempting lips. Then he leaned forward, making me freeze in place as his chest brushed against mine. He pressed closer, his heat coaxing me to melt against him, those penetrating eyes locked on mine before flicking down to my mouth.

In a flash, I was transported to last night, being held tightly in his arms as his scent whirled around me, muddling my thoughts-

Lips brushed against my cheek and I jolted back to the present as hot breath tickled against my ear.

" _Usted no debería jugar con la tentación...preparada para las consecuencias..._ "

The liquid Spanish purred into my ear and slid over my skin like warm silk. A lilting rush of words that teased the mind with strong, dark hands smoothing over pale flesh, limbs languidly tangling on obsidian sheets…

I shivered in response to the delicious sensation and Salazar immediately drew back, my response inadvertently reasserting his usual controlled façade.

A sense of loss fizzled in my chest. I knew that whatever had been at my fingertips was lost. I resisted the urge to stomp my foot in frustration and instead gazed up at him in bewilderment, wordlessly inquiring for a translation.

Salazar simply shook his head at my confusion and motioned for me to move so he could open the door for me, any sign of that consuming heat vanished as if it'd never existed.

I frowned suspiciously at his broad back, but I knew that no amount of coaxing would make him translate if he didn't want to. _What in the_ world _did he say?_

Salazar opened the door and turned back to see I was still frowning as I tried to puzzle him out.

A tiny smirk twitched on his lips as he reached out and playfully tapped my nose. "Good night, Isabeau."

Completely against my control, a smile slipped out in response to the teasing touch, even as I snuffed and scrunched my nose. "Good night, _Capitán_. Thank you for…everything."

Something darted across his face, but I was nudged out the door before I had a chance to even guess what it'd been.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of Victoria Saint Claire)**

 _Usted no debería jugar con la tentación...preparada para las consecuencias..._ \- You shouldn't play with temptation, (lest you're not/unless you're not) prepared to face the consequences

 **Ooooh, mama. Salazar stepping up his game _big_ time. I wonder for how much longer Isabeau is gonna be able to run? That distance between them is shrinking, slowly but steadily...**


	42. Chapter 42

**Alright, everyone! Little bit of a ramble to go through. First off, thank you, thank you, _thank you_ so much for your kind and wonderful reviews! I know that I'm terrible at replying (like, _really_ bad), but I do love, enjoy, and just downright adore that you love this story. I know I say this all the time, but it just simply astounds me that people love it as much as they do.**

 **How is it possible, that this story has been going on for an _entire year_? Yes, you read that right. I've been working on this puppy for _over_ a year, actually, but it's been posted almost a full year. Holy _cow_!**

 **In light of that,** **I'm gonna be doing something a little different until I reach that date (I'm personally challenging myself).** **We all know what my posting schedule is like (hectic being a mildly polite way of putting it), so** **pacing is gonna get _real_ weird. To add to the panic, there will most likely be cliffhangers. I'm not going to do multi-chapters until after I reach my target date of the full year. Few reasons: mainly because I think it was a little overwhelming to read all those chapters at once like last time (I know it was for me. I still have yet to proofread them buggers). I know it was nice to get them all at once, but it was crazy amount of work, and I felt like they needed to steep a little more between uploads. **

**Before we all start panicking, my goal to offset this is to upload _twice a week_ until the anniversary date. Extremely ambitious, yes, I know, and I can already feel my future self hating me now. But I am going to bust my tail to meet that goal. Fingers crossed! So, without further ado, let's get this ride rolling!**

 **Fyi: I forgot to mention in Chapter 40 that I did a tiny nod to one of Javier's other villains. Cookies if you caught it! (Thanks to MiniPeridot for helping me out a little with the errors in the previous chapters. Thank you again!)**

* * *

The door closed behind me with a quiet snick and I stood staring at the wall opposite for a good few minutes before I blinked a few times, corralling my ping-ponging brain cells long enough to start moving on autopilot towards my cabin.

I could have almost cried when I opened my cabin door and saw the faintly steaming tub waiting for me on the floor. _Reíno, I love you._

As it was, I whined with pleasure as I sank into the hot water, feeling my abused muscles instantly relax as I quickly turned into a limp noodle.

I didn't want to bathe, just wanted to soak in the warmth until I looked like a prune, but knew it would quickly cool off and it wasn't fun to bathe with cold water. So after a few minutes of indulging, I slowly bathed, not wanting to lose the relaxation permeating my body.

When I was done, I suddenly remembered Reíno's promise that he'd see me before I went to bed.

I groaned, just wanting to go to sleep. I was so tired, and didn't even want to _think_ about dealing with anyone else.

 _Maybe he might forget? Is it wrong that I'm actually hoping he does?_

However, true to his promise, Reíno knocked on my door just as I was putting on my pajamas.

I jerked guiltily, having almost allowed myself to believe he'd forgotten.

Tiredly half-wishing I hadn't agreed to anything, I opened the door, sadly relieved to see he didn't have his guitar.

He noticed my glance and with a small smile, offered, "I assumed that after your…dinner with the _capitán_ , you weren't going to be in the mood for singing."

"I look that bad?" I sighed, grateful he'd taken the raincheck. He was right. I barely even felt like dealing with him at the moment.

Reíno's eyes flickered over my face. "You look exhausted. Have you been crying?"

I huffed a small snort. "It's been an emotional rollercoaster of a day."

"What's a rollercoaster?" he asked, sitting down on the bed and patiently waited for me to join him as he began stirring up the shaving lather.

I did so with an exhalation that drained all the strength out of my spine. I was too tired to be embarrassed at this point. "It's an amusement ride. It's a basically a bunch of carts on a track that goes up and down in sharp drops. Not very pleasant unless you like the taste of your stomach in your mouth."

Reíno looked extremely confused as he knelt next to me and stroked down one calf with the lather, making me shiver from the cold foam. "If it is not fun, why do people ride on it?"

"Because a lot of people do find it fun. I'm just not one of them. Never have been. Sorry," I apologized when my leg involuntarily twitched and flicked lather on his shirt.

" _Está bien_." He propped my foot against his thigh and began to carefully slide the razor against my skin, being extra careful not to nick me.

"Reíno…" I hesitated, then figured what was the worst that could happen? "Have you ever seen Salazar…in the company of a woman? Like, a respectable one. One he's interested in."

Pausing midstroke, he looked up at me, one eyebrow almost to his hairline. "Where on earth did that question come from?"

I chewed on my lip, avoiding his gaze as he continued to stare at me. "It's just…he's been acting stranger and stranger. And I honestly have no idea what to make of it. One second, I'd almost think he was flirting with me, then the next, he acts as if I'm a pox on all men. Okay, slight exaggeration, but you get what I mean. And I just wondered if you'd ever seen him with someone else and could maybe compare his behavior."

"Would you like my suggestion?" Reíno asked after a moment, his voice hesitant as he resumed sliding the razor down my shin, scraping away the last of the lather before moving to my other leg.

"Yes. _Please_." I sounded desperate, but I was so out of my depth, so confused, that I would take any help I could get.

"Just keep an open mind and realize that the _capitán_ is only a man. He has thoughts, feelings, and is harder to read than most. He also has more to lose than most. And if he does express his interest in you, just follow his lead-"

"The problem with that is I'm so oblivious I'm practically stupid," I cut in, giving him a sad smile as he applied the lather again, making me shiver from the chill. "And I _think_ he almost kissed me last night-"

"¿ _Qué_?" He jerked upright, staring at me, jaw slack. "¿ _El capitán_?"

"Yes, the captain…" I trailed off, feeling my face steadily growing hotter, now wondering if I'd simply mistaken Salazar's intentions, or imagined it. I mean, one would think it'd be pretty hard to mistake about to be kissed, right? But this was me we were talking about, and Salazar was…beyond what I could match. Fantasy was one thing, but this was reality, strange as it was. And even with the unbelievable occurrence that was time travel, certain things were simply impossible.

I wanted to fall backwards onto my bed in a frustrated flop, but knew better than to move while a sharp implement was so close to my skin.

"Tell me more science fiction," Reíno murmured, concentrating on his task as he tried to distract me from my crazy imaginings. And apparently not wanting to deal with me almost kissing his captain, which I could totally get.

"What do you want to know?" It was _really_ unnerving to feel the razor scraping across my skin; smooth and steady, yet still an extremely alien sensation.

"Hmm…what's the strangest science fiction you've seen?"

I snickered. "That would definitely be Farscape. I actually couldn't watch it when I was younger because it was _too_ weird, but I loved it when I tried again when I was older."

Launching into a brief description about a man who was sucked through a wormhole and spat out on the other side of the galaxy, I kept Reíno entertained with what I could remember from Crichton's adventures.

The curious man asked a lot of questions, never seeming to tire of hearing about Scarrans or Peacekeepers, how the Pilots were symbiotic to their Leviathans, what happened to Crais in his headlong pursuit of misguided revenge.

Thankfully, Reíno finished quickly as I began to doze lightly. I felt terrible for not being able to provide the company he deserved, but I was just exhausted from my spell of rage, then the horrible anxiety with Salazar, not to mention the crying jag that had drained the rest of my energy.

Reíno seemed to understand, though, for which I was eternally grateful. I promised myself I'd make it up to him, though I wasn't sure how I would go about it. I would try to find something.

"Blue."

I blinked awake at his insistent tone, realizing he'd probably called my name a few times. "Sorry, dozed off. What is it?"

There was a serious look on his face, one I hadn't seen since I'd first woken up aboard the _Silent Mary._ "We will most likely be engaging in battle soon. I know you don't like to feel…useless, but _por favor_ , please don't do anything foolish. Stay in your cabin until someone comes to retrieve you."

The lack of any lightness in his voice reinforced my awareness from earlier, but I managed to tamp it down this time.

"I'll behave," I promised, icy fingers of dread skittering across my neck at the ugly reminder of what was approaching. "Trust me, I have no desire to be up close and personal with any more pirates."

 _It won't be like before_ , I reminded myself as the dread slowly slid chilly talons through my chest. _This time we're safe on a ship built for this specific purpose. We'll be fine._

Next thing I knew, I was enveloped in Reíno's arms. I blinked, wondering how I'd wound up in such a position. "Uhm. Reíno?"

He inhaled deeply and squeezed me tighter for a quick second before letting me go, moving back to give me a faint smile. " _Lo siento._ You became very pale all of the sudden."

I felt tears prick my eyes. These men were going to be fighting for their lives soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after. I abruptly sucked in a breath at the nauseous thought that I might suddenly never see one of them again.

This time I was the one who instigated the hug, burying my nose in his uniform collar. There was a faint trace of some lemony smell with the clean scent of his clothes that made me think of lemon shortbread.

It wasn't the same heat and strength as Salazar's embraces, but it was comforting all the same.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but if anything happens to you, I'll never forgive you. You hear me?" I whispered, my voice cracking at the end.

Reíno pulled me closer and rested his chin on top of my head. "I won't promise that nothing will happen, but I will swear that I will be as careful as possible."

He was silent for a few seconds, then as if he couldn't help himself, continued, "Though if you insist on hugging all of the crew, I might become jealous."

I huffed a laugh. "I'm not gonna go hugging the entire crew, you brat. Just you. Maybe Lesaro. And Magda."

A beat passed and I cringed, knowing what was coming just as Reíno asked slyly, "What about the _capitán_?"

I opened my mouth to fire a retort, then recalled the intense expression on Salazar's face just a short while ago, the sultry Spanish he'd murmured in my ear, and snapped my mouth shut.

I didn't recall the words well enough to try asking Reíno for a translation, nor was I sure I wanted to. I wanted to know what Salazar had said, yes, but I also didn't want to share that moment with anyone. It felt too…intimate.

So instead, in a blithe tone to try and hide how tumultuous my emotions were, I said, "If I get the chance before anything happens, I'll give him one too."

I felt it when he smiled. "If it were anyone else, I would suggest otherwise. But…I know he would welcome an embrace from you."

 _"_ _If you would like a hug…I won't be angered by such a request. I'm a man, not a monster."_

Rolling my eyes, I tried to shove all the warm feelings popping like fizzy bubbles in my chest. _Yep, we're so deep down the rabbit hole._

My thoughts were interrupted by a wide yawn that snuck up on me and I heard small grunt of agreement from Reíno's direction.

"I shall leave you to your rest. I must do so myself. Tomorrow will undoubtedly be…trying."

I grabbed hold of his hand before he could move. "See you tomorrow?"

A hand ruffled through my hair, making it horribly tangled. "You will. Sleep, Blue."

"Night, Reíno," I murmured, letting go of him. "Thank you, again."

He said a quiet good night and slipped out the door, shutting it with a soft click.

As tired as I was, I should have instantly fallen asleep as soon as he'd left.

But my brain refused to shut off.

Horrific, violent images danced through my skull, brought on by the realization of what was coming, even though I doubted I was able to imagine how bad it could be.

What would happen if the _Mary_ was boarded? How many Spaniards would die? How many would be so wounded they wouldn't survive long enough to see their families again?

As hard-paced and stressful as my time was, it also lacked the sheer brutality that this crew had survived time and again, the savagery that humans could inflict when at their most desperate. Sure, horrible things still happened in the 21st century, but it was displaced. Removed. Everything bad happened to someone else.

Even the events that happened right when I'd been dropped into this time period seemed far away. Vague and fuzzy.

Except for the sickening feeling of hot, sticky blood trickling down my skin.

Swallowing dryly, I stared up at the ceiling for a long time, trying to calm the panicking circle of my thoughts.

All of the sudden, the recalled warmth of being in Salazar's embrace sprang from memory, but it wasn't enough. The memory alone couldn't dim the vibrant splashes of crimson in my mind.

I was now disgustingly wide awake, no sleep in sight.

Without giving myself a second to think of how idiotic this was, I flipped back the covers and rolled to my feet. Quickly padding over to the door, I opened it, making sure no one was about to see me in my pajamas as I slipped through the corridors.

My mind tried to reason with my lack of common sense, but the nightmarish images in my head refused to go away, and I knew what it would take to silence them.

The path my feet had taken seemed almost automatic, and before I fully realized what I was doing, I'd already knocked quietly on the door.

 _Really, ya dunce? Ain't nobody gonna answer, you've just wasted time you should have been spending trying to get to sleep-_

To my eternal surprise, the door swung open, making me jump, startled.

I'd fully expected him to have already gone to bed, not be standing in front of me half-dressed in only boots, pants, and a loose cotton shirt in a view mouthwatering enough to quicken even a blind woman's pulse.

Brow furrowed in confusion, he opened his mouth, undoubtedly to ask what on earth I was about.

Wordlessly, I launched myself forward, flinging my arms around his waist as I pressed my face into the warm, almost hot fabric of his shirt, the sheer heat of carved muscle underneath almost burning my skin.

He grunted slightly as I crashed into him, powerful limbs reflexively wrapping around my back as he leaned back to absorb the brunt of the impact.

I stretched upwards, nuzzling into the exposed flesh of his neck as I inhaled the heady scent of masculine spice and cinnamon, ignoring the electric tingling it ignited under my belly. I wasn't here for that.

Tucking myself against the firm planes of his body, my eyes slid shut and I breathed a sigh of relief as the screaming anxiety quieted down to whispers in the background.

A soft exhale rustled my hair as he fitted me closer, not caring if anyone happened to be strolling along the corridor at this time of night.

"Unable to sleep?"

I shook my head slightly, grateful beyond words that he was permitting what had essentially been an attack hug. I hadn't meant to glomp him, but as soon as his door had opened, I'd been overwhelmed with such a sense of desperate need that I'd been unable to control myself. "Better now."

He hummed deeply, the vibration tickling my cheek and along my neck, down to where my breasts were pressed into his chest. One hand came up to stroke soothingly over my hair. "What do you worry about?"

My arms squeezed him tighter in response and I buried my face in the crook of his neck, not wanting to break the silence with ugly words.

A long moment stretched by before he asked questioningly, "Isabeau?"

I made a whining noise at the back of my throat and struggled to find a way to not embarrass myself. _Sure, just tell him we're freaking out that he'll get hurt. And that we had the overwhelming urge to hug him. That's all we need!_

" _La Maria Silenciosa_ has brought us through many battles, and as long as we remain vigilant, she will carry us through many more. You need not worry so."

The calm tone of his voice made my sense of humor rear its head. "For a second there, I was expecting you to say something about it's a woman's place to worry, and I was gonna have to stomp on your toes."

Low chuckles rippled through his torso. Lithe fingers danced teasingly over the back of my neck, making me shiver. "Even I know better than to say something of that ilk."

The sound of his laughter tickled strangely in my chest. I stubbornly ignored the flush building my cheeks and apologetically mumbled, "Sorry."

"For?" Amusement lingered in his tone as his hand drifted downward to rub comfortingly up and down my back.

"Jumping you like that. Didn't mean to. Wasn't expecting you to still be awake." The flush grew hotter with embarrassment. Had I really just flung myself into his arms like that?

 _Okay, we can just sink through the floorboards at_ any _time._

Both arms slid around me in an embrace of firm heat and dizzying scent as he lowered his face into my hair. "You startled me, _sí_ , but if your worries were great enough that you needed to ease your mind, then I am glad you came to me."

I scrunched my nose in disbelief. "You don't strike me as a hugger, though."

There was a brief pause.

"I do not normally welcome embraces, no, but little about you is normal, hm?"

Rolling my eyes at the teasing note, I finally relaxed my arms from around his waist and pulled back a little. I'd probably clung to him more than he was comfortable with, but he was being too polite to shove me away. "I'm completely normal where I'm from, I'll have you know."

Rather than immediately releasing me, he squeezed me tighter until a squeak slipped from between my lips. "Somehow, I doubt that."

 _He could die-_

 _Shut up! Seriously? We don't need to think about that! He's been through plenty of battles before we came along to worry about him. Like, what the fuck. Us being here to fret isn't gonna change anything and-_

As if he could sense my distraction, he crouched down slightly and fitted his arms around my waist. When he straightened again, I was lifted completely off my feet.

I sucked in a startled breath at the unexpected change in position and immediately wrapped my arms around his neck. It always surprised me at just how strong he really was, especially when he did things like this. I was no lightweight, but there wasn't even a tremble in his arms as he held me up off the floor.

But his gesture worked. I'd stopped mentally chastising myself, the feeling of his embrace too wonderful to ruin with mental squabbling.

As I relaxed in his arms, he hummed approvingly before gently chiding, "You are going to render yourself ill."

"I've made it this far in life," I countered, unable to stop my eyes from falling shut. "I'll be fine."

The fact that my anxiety had climbed so high that I'd been forced to seek out his company seemed to belie that, but I clung stubbornly to my denial.

His jaw rubbed against my temple as he murmured, " _Déjame tus cargas._ "

"That's cheating," I muttered sourly, annoyed by not being able to understand him. And he knew he was being unfair, the big brat.

He huffed a soft laugh, then slowly lowered me to my feet.

I shivered at the feel of firm contours sliding against mine, the suddenly noticeable lack of thick layers of clothing between his skin and mine. The dizzying realization that if not for the thin material of my pajamas and his shirt, we'd be-

I deliberately scuffed my bare toes along the wooden floor, the grating sensation snapping my thoughts out of their dangerous muddle. The only thing that awaited down that road was mortification.

Looking up, it was stunning to see how different his demeanor was. The late hour had given him a relaxed, easy manner that I liked, and felt the irresistible urge to snuggle into his side. _I'd love to cuddle with him as I fell asleep-_

I cleared my throat and fidgeted nervously, knowing it was time to leave before I gave into dangerous desires. "Thank you for that. I would say sorry for glomping you, but I'm not sorry, so it'd be a waste of an apology."

A warm smile creased his face at my lack of remorse and he tilted his head slightly. "Glomping?"

"Uhm, attack hug."

My face flushed again at his deep chuckles and I ducked my head sheepishly. "Er, anyway, good night. Again."

The smile was still curved on his lips when he murmured quietly, "Good night, Isabeau."

This time, I felt the heat of his stare on my back the entire time I walked away before I turned a corner, out of his line of sight.

I paused for a second, biting my lip, then smiled to myself before continuing back to my cabin with considerably lighter steps.

* * *

 **Spanish translations courtesy of SpanishDict**

 _Qué -_ Who

 _Está bien -_ It's fine

 _Lo siento -_ I'm sorry

 _Déjame tus cargas -_ Leave me your burdens

 **I _might_ have had a little too much fun with that last part... *smirks* This was another unexpected addition, inadvertently inspired by acutecupidity. (Thank you again for this. Even if you didn't know you did it, just goes to show you how amazing you are ^.^)**


	43. Chapter 43

**Warning: the following few chapters are gonna have a lot of blood and gore. Also cliffhangers. Continue at your own peeeeerriiiiiil! But I am keeping up with my self-imposed deadline, so that's good! I apologize now, this chapter is one of those with a cliffhanger. I didn't want to interrupt the pacing and it was a brilliant place to stop. Well, seemed to me that it was.**

 **Alright, mah peeps. Let's get this ball rollin'! Also, this hasn't gone through as much proofreading as I would have liked, so hold on to your hats. I'll hit my deadline, then I'll go back and finetune everything.**

* * *

The next time I woke up, I was surprised to see it was late afternoon, only a few hours until sunset. Usually, one of the crew woke me up a little after noon, so having slept this late struck me as strange. At least I felt plenty rested.

I was just putting on my boots when I realized something was off.

There was a…tension in the air I had never felt before. A grim, yet almost expectant atmosphere.

Carefully opening the door, I was surprised to see Reíno trotting up just as I stuck my head out.

"Blue! You're awake. Excellent-"

I cut to the chase before he could continue. "What's going on?"

Reíno grimaced. "A ship was spotted only a short while ago, but it matches the description of a known pirate vessel. The _capitán_ ordered pursuit and we'll be intercepting them within a few hours."

Unease tightened across the back of my neck. I knew I'd been lucky so far not to have encountered any more pirates, and it only seemed on par with everything else that it happened when I was already feeling sick. "Where do I need to be?"

Reíno paused as he thought for a quick second. "I would say your quarters, but since it's so close to the deck, I think you would be safer down in the galley. I will ask the _capitán_ for his orders. Come."

I followed Reíno to the wheel deck, feeling extremely out of place amongst the serious-looking officers. Magda was there as well, grim-faced as he surveyed the bustling crew with a hawk's eye, all traces of the man who'd teased me with _mantecados_ completely masked. Even Lesaro had a steeliness that I'd never seen before.

But Salazar was truly a sight to behold.

Resplendent, almost blinding in his uniform, strong, tanned hands gripping the wheel with his gaze fixed squarely on the distant target of his prey. A cold, hard air emanated from the intimidating _El Matador del Mar_. The air of a man who killed, without hesitation.

 _And this was the same man we glomped last night. Not to mention that dinner…_

 _Are you trying to make this better or worse? Cuz you're definitely succeeding with the latter._

Uneasiness tickled down my spine as I edged slightly behind Reíno, trying not to remember that he was a trained officer as well.

" _Capitán_."

I flinched when Salazar snapped his gaze to me, not even glancing at Reíno. He blinked, the iciness immediately thawing from his face when he saw me trying to hide behind the smaller man.

" _Capitán_ , the _señorita_ will not be safe in her cabin," Reíno murmured, stepping closer so he could lower his voice. "Where do you wish for her to be?"

My ears flexed back nervously as Salazar's eyes, black in the bright sun, remained pinned on me. He opened his mouth to answer, but there was a sudden shout from the crow's nest.

Salazar stepped forward, Lesaro instantly moving to take his place at the helm. One of the other officers immediately held out a spyglass that Salazar took, pulling it open to peer at the faint dot far in front of the _Mary_.

A word slid between his teeth as he snapped the spyglass shut before barking a string of commands that sent sailors scattering to follow his orders.

I jumped when he suddenly spun to face where I stood, trying to make myself smaller, unnoticed. It was almost unnerving just how often he _did_ notice me. As if there was some part of his attention always focused on me.

He held out a hand towards me. " _Ven aquí_."

I briefly hesitated, aware of more than one pair of curious eyes on me, but I quickly moved over to where Salazar stood against the railing, relieved when he shifted to stand between me and the stares burning into my back. The burning, however, didn't abate, and I was glad no one could see my face from having him stand close enough that his chest pressed into my back. And that uniform-

 _Get yourself together! Now isn't the time to be thinking about how attractive he is!_

He pulled the spyglass open again and held it out, motioning for me to look through it. I shut one eye and peered through the lens, waiting patiently as he positioned it so that I could make out the vessel that had become his prey.

"Pirates?" I whispered apprehensively, noticing just how much smaller the other ship was than the _Mary_ , having only one deck of cannons versus the Spanish warship's three.

" _Sí_ ," Salazar snarled. I could feel him vibrating with tension, the rigid muscles against my back powerfully restrained as he took the spyglass back.

"Reíno," he snapped sharply, turning to address the younger officer. "She may remain on deck until we draw closer, then escort her to the galley."

Reíno dipped his head in response, which I took was my cue to leave the wheel deck. I nodded respectively at Salazar as I edged past him to rejoin Reíno, only to pause when an arm slipped across my stomach, a strong hand clasping my hip to hold me still.

Salazar lowered his head until only I could hear him murmur, "Stay belowdeck, _por favor_. You will be safe there."

A warm pleasure suffused my chest at his promise, easing the swell of anxiety that had sprung to life upon seeing the pirate ship.

I slid my hand over his and squeezed, feeling almost cold when he withdrew his grasp to twist around and resume his place at the _Mary's_ wheel.

Tension immediately permeated my muscles as soon as he let go. I shook off the strange, uneasy feelings and followed Reíno down to the main deck.

He led me to a small spot close to the rail where I wasn't in the way, but I was also close enough to the stairs that I could run belowdeck if I needed to. I was told to stay put before he disappeared to assist some of the other officers.

Long, tense minutes passed by as the _Mary_ gained slowly but steadily on her prey. The unpleasant tension continued to ratchet up a few notches, and my anxiety was climbing in response.

 _I shouldn't be here. I'm out of place._

Time seemed to stretch until the silence was broken by the watch calling more sails on the horizon.

I snapped out of my downward spiral of introspection at the shout, squinting to just make out another ship far in the distance slightly off course.

Whoever it was, the pirates changed course to intercept them, even with the _Silent Mary_ still relentlessly giving chase.

Salazar abruptly ordered the change in speed, full sails, and the _Mary_ lunged forward like a racehorse out of the gates.

The tension shot up several more notches.

My arm began to cramp and I rubbed it hard to try and ease the ache to no avail.

I could hear the distant echoing thunder of cannons as the pirate ship opened fire on what Reíno informed me appeared to be a merchant vessel when he stopped to stiffly stand next to me. His face was set in grim lines that told me without words how this was going to turn out.

The _Mary_ was simply too far away to be of any help.

I was suddenly struck with how much technology was taken for granted. An aircraft carrier could have already launched planes to eliminate the pirates. A destroyer would probably already be on top of them, capable of traveling at much faster speeds than a ship powered by sails.

How easily things could turn out differently.

And suddenly, the thunder stopped.

Smoke spiraled in a thick column as the massive warship drew steadily closer, yet it still felt like forever until the _Mary_ finally came to the edge of the debris.

The fleeing vessel was gaining distance again, but Salazar ignored them in favor of a quick investigation of the wreckage of their victims.

It was even worse than I'd imagined.

I made sure I was out of the way as, silent and still, the crew peered into the waters, scanning the debris, looking for survivors.

I almost wished they hadn't.

A shout rang out and movement blurred across the deck, one of the sailors who knew how to swim climbing down to paddle over to a floating hulk still above the water. He collected a small pale bundle in his arms, then swam back to _Mary_ to be pulled aboard.

Salazar took the survivor, a young girl, who looked barely eight, in his arms, holding her close as Magda hurried forward, a huge black bag in hand.

There weren't any other survivors, but there were plenty of bodies.

I turned away for a moment, looking down into the water, and fought the urge to vomit.

Living, breathing human beings, reduced to so much floating white chum, intestines and chunks of limbs gently bobbing in the bloody waves.

My heart skipped a heavy beat when I realized how easily that could have been me amongst those waves, if Salazar hadn't found me. Hadn't come across that ship in time.

It was sickening, what a person could stand to do, if they wanted to. Rape, dismember, skin, gut…that someone could see nothing wrong with slicing a person from collarbone to groin, just to watch their insides fall to the floor, made me wish the human race had never crawled out of the primordial ooze.

 _What about ripping someone's throat out to watch them bleed?_ I did it in self-defense, sure, but I felt nothing. No regret, no remorse…no guilt.

 _Does that make me as bad as them?_

Bile rose in my throat and I had to look away from the water, turning instead to see Magda shake his head slowly at Salazar, withdrawing from the captain and his burden.

We had been too late.

I shifted out from under the stairs, slipping closer to see the little girl was still breathing, but it was so shallow and slow that I knew it wouldn't be long before it stopped altogether.

Salazar didn't move, continued to cradle the little girl in his arms, talking softly to her, not once looking away as her breathing grew fainter and fainter.

Quietly, she slipped away until her chest remained still, and she was gone.

A keening whine built in the back of my throat and tears burned behind my eyes, but I swallowed and blinked, refusing to give in. There was no telling once I started bawling when I would stop.

My jaw clenched with unspent misery. I wanted to howl at the unfairness that something so innocent, so young, had been tainted by such depravity and slaughtered with less mercy than for an animal.

Lesaro dispersed the crew with a quiet order, leaving just the three of us, until he gripped Salazar's shoulder, murmured softly, and left as well.

Leaving me to keep vigil with the captain.

My ears were flexed back unhappily. I didn't like situations like these. I never knew what to say, what to do…always felt stupid and awkward when someone needed me like this. In the end, I couldn't say anything, do anything, just stood there, offering silent comfort as best as I was capable of.

Why couldn't I know what to do? Why did I _never_ know what to say? There had to be _something_ , but I simply didn't know what it was.

Salazar carefully lowered the little body to the deck, covering the too small form with a blanket one of the crew had left, his movements precise and measured.

I knew it affected him. How could it not? It affected me, and I was seriously fucked up in the head.

But I didn't know how to react, how to offer comfort. I wasn't even sure if he _wanted_ comfort, if he'd allow me to touch him. So I just waited, and kept silent.

He rose to his feet in a smooth, deliberate motion, then turned to look at me. I met his turbulent gaze steadily, but I couldn't decipher anything, couldn't tell what he was feeling. I had never been able to read emotions well, a flaw I hadn't felt as keenly before as I did now.

I didn't know what he wanted, but I knew what I could offer.

Without a word, I opened my arms.

His face went blank, and I immediately felt stupid, felt I had done the wrong thing. But before I could back away, he took two strides and enveloped me in his arms, burying his face in my neck.

The position was excruciatingly uncomfortable. I was forced to bend backwards to accommodate his height, but I didn't ask him to adjust his grip, didn't shift to ease my aching spine. I was afraid if I asked him to move, he'd completely withdraw and I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

I squeezed him as tight as I could, trying to give everything I had, and he took it. I felt his face press harder where my neck met my shoulder, as if he was trying to burrow into me to escape the horrors that tainted everything they touched.

Wet streaked my skin, and my hand sank into his hair in response, dislodging his hair ribbon, but I grabbed it between my fingers before it fell. Silk ran over my hand as I stroked through his hair, letting him take what he needed.

His shoulders rose and fell deceivingly steady under my arm as I hugged him close, arched at an awkward angle, not giving a damn as pain lanced up my spine.

But I couldn't control my involuntary spasm, even as I held him tighter in case he thought I was trying to let go.

He must've realized he was bending me at an angle the human spine was not meant to bend and adjusted his grip, relieving the pressure on my back. I didn't say a word, just continued to thread my fingers comfortingly through his hair, instinctively pretending not to notice as his breath shuddered shakily along my throat.

"Thank you."

The quiet whisper against my neck made tears burn in my eyes, one almost slipping free before I blinked them back.

I nodded and gently disentangled myself, handing him the ribbon to put his hair back up.

Stone-faced, he fixed his appearance, the ruthless _el Matador del Mar_ once more being brought to light. He flicked a glance at me as he straightened his uniform jacket and I shivered at the ice frosting his gaze. "Go to my quarters and lock the door. Your cabin is too close to the deck, you'll be safer in case we get boarded."

Studying his face for a quick moment, I wondered how I'd ever thought of him as uncaring.

"My quarters will place you furthest from any point of entry." Hand firmly clenching the hilt of his rapier, he looked so dangerous I almost pitied the men he was about to slaughter.

Murmuring in acknowledgement, I moved aside as he strode past to bark commands at Lesaro. Movement caught my attention behind me and I looked back to see one of the sailors, the marine I talked to at night, carefully lift the little body in his arms.

I quickly glanced away, not wanting to know what would be done it. As I jogged along the deck, the _Silent Mary_ turned and began her pursuit, her speed gaining with a cold sense of ruthless purpose reflected in her captain.

 **xxxxx**

The pirates waited until the cover of darkness to try to take the _Mary_ head on.

I was curled up in the armchair tucked next to the bookshelf facing the windows, too nervous to read, instead watching the sunlight grow dimmer until it vanished altogether, when the first cannon shot rang out from the _Mary_.

I was startled from grim memories at the sudden noise, all of my concentration aimed to listen intently.

The bang had sounded far away and muffled from inside Salazar's quarters, but it was only the beginning.

Thunder ripped through the air, concussive waves of sound, one after the other. Most were accompanied with vibrations through the wood that told me which shots came from the _Mary's_ cannons, and which were from the vermin she was fighting.

It didn't sound like _el Matador del Mar's_ opponents were faring too well.

Yet that didn't help the crippling anxiety. Just thinking about all the things that could happen to the men I'd come to think of as friends was enough to send me into a fit.

The cannonfire grew sparser until it died out altogether, the skirmish having been rather quick for being so brutal.

Instead, it was replaced with the sound of shouting and tinny clangs of what I realized was swordfighting, and my worry was suddenly replaced with an odd surge of confidence.

 _Those bastards picked the wrong ship to board._

A high-pitched shriek suddenly came from below the floor, making me jump out of my skin.

 _What the fuck?!_

The scream came again, only to be cut off into a bonechilling silence.

 _Lady BeKatt._

I warily crept to my feet, wondering what to do. Salazar had explicitly told me to stay in his quarters, but if she was in trouble, would anyone else be able to help her?

 _She certainly wouldn't help_ us, my inner voice said snidely, though there was unease in its tone.

I thought of the almost innocent longing on her face when she'd thought about getting a kitten.

A hoarse shout that was distinctly feminine ended my indecision.

 _I'm not her!_

Without stopping to think of how utterly stupid this was, and how I was beyond out of my element, I darted towards the door, threw it open, and bolted down the hallway to the nearest stairwell.

Blood was sprayed all over the hallway walls outside her cabin, splattered like a paint bomb had exploded. It was like some grisly scene from a horror movie, but this was no movie. As surreal as it sounded, this was real.

 _I need a weapon. Something sharp._

Frantically glancing around, I saw boots laying limp on the floor around the far corner.

Moving cautiously, knowing I didn't have time to waste, but not able to make myself move any faster, I peeked around the corner, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was.

There was a good two feet of space between the lower part of the sailor's body and the detached upper torso, intestines trailing over the floor in the gap.

Bile flooded my mouth at the sight, and the smell was enough to make me gag. The wet shininess along the coils of intestines made my stomach heave violently and vomit splattered on the floor.

I gagged again, legs trembling with an alarming shakiness, but I tried only to focus on the long dagger lying on the floor, too close to what appeared to be an exposed liver for comfort.

The relief that swamped me that the deathly pale face was nobody I knew almost canceled out the nausea and I wrapped my fingers around the handle of the dagger, the blade heavy and unfamiliar in my hand.

Glancing at the body again, I murmured a silent apology and had one quick second to hope that Salazar was okay before I scurried through the open door of Lady BeKatt's quarters, following the muted sounds of struggling.

She had tried to hide under the bed before one of the pirates found her.

A huge beast of a human had one meaty hand gripped around Lady BeKatt's throat, keeping her silent as he pinned her down, and was in the process of ripping her upturned skirts.

Not pausing to think of what a bad idea this was, adrenaline fueled my thundering pulse as I silently darted forward, jumping up and slamming the point of the dagger deep into the gap of the man's collarbone.

Not deep enough.

Instead of keeling over lifeless, he brayed out a roar and ripped the knife out of his neck, sending a huge stain of blood rolling down his clothes. He staggered to his feet and whirled around, his beady eyes locking on me.

With an enraged bellow, he charged forward, hands outstretched and I barely made it out of his reach, operating on pure instinct, to slide next to Lady BeKatt and grab the pirate's forgotten sword.

It was heavier than I had expected, but sheer adrenaline and survival instinct made it possible for me to lift it as the man came at me again. I slipped underneath his arm and managed to get an awkward swipe along his leg, slicing muscle and tendon.

He let out a bloodcurdling screech as he crashed down on his useless knee, the damaged joint unable to support his weight. He growled and glared at me, sucking in huge pants through his teeth. "Fuckin' _bitch_!"

"Bring it on, cocksucker," I hissed, made reckless by emotionally detaching from the situation, my self-preservation kicking in. "Or did your daddy like it in your ass better?"

He howled in rage and somehow managed to stand, dragging his dead knee behind him as he lumbered forward like a wounded bear.

I felt like I was watching someone else. Someone else who was brave and ferocious and not afraid to leap into the fray, everything I knew I wasn't, yet I also knew that that was me, holding a sword and facing down a charging beast fueled by bloodlust.

 _Don't get distracted!_

Baring my teeth in a loud snarl, I clumsily swung and he dodged the blade, but I didn't miss with my downward swing back, carving a patch of bloody flesh off his other leg.

The bear crashed to the floor again with a roar of pain, droplets of coppery fluid sprinkling on my face, into my eyes.

I wiped my sleeve quickly across my face, ignoring the strong stench of pennies in my nose, and watched stupidly as he began to crawl towards me.

Finally realizing what was happening, I plunged the sword towards the beast's chest just as he reached out to crush me in his grip.

Somehow managing to get lucky, the blade slid between ribs, but I couldn't drive it deep enough to bring him down.

Wet screams gurgled from his mouth, spraying me with bloody spit, as he grabbed my hands and tried to pry them off the hilt.

A shrill, panicked sound clawed out of my throat as I frantically heaved the sword across his chest, dragging the sharp metal sideways through skin, muscle, cartilage and bone, carving open a gaping hole. Ivory white gleamed at me from his chest, pale pink flesh of organs peeking from behind it. For a long second, my brain wildly tried to click together what that was.

Realization struck with sharp clarity.

 _Lungs. Those are his_ lungs _._

Bile immediately surged upwards, dripping down my chin and onto the floor as I continued wrenching the blade in a macabre sawing motion until with a wet crunch, the massive man shuddered and went still, having long since stopped screaming.

I gagged and more vomit splattered on the floor, mixing with the crimson puddle slowly expanding on the floor.

Burgundy fluid flowed silently from the man's mouth as he fell face forward.

Muscles were frozen, refusing to move as I watched him fall, my skin twitching as ruby liquid splashed on my legs, still warm.

All the hair on my neck and arms stood up at the grisly feeling, yet I still couldn't move.

Lady BeKatt huddled next to her bed, whimpering in fear while I stood on rubbery legs, everything trembling as I sucked in gulps of air. My body felt strange, alien, as the adrenaline slowly drained away.

Finally, my muscles unlocked enough that I could take a few shaky steps backwards, my bare feet leaving bloody footprints on the rug.

Unfortunately, I didn't get any reprieve as two more pirates stormed through the open doorway of the main, staring at the gruesome scene in shock.

 _Don't think, just pay attention. It's a large, venomous snake at the end of your bush-axe. Blink and you'll get bit._

Grimly, I reached behind me and picked up the long dagger that suited me better, the sword still stuck in the bear's chest.

"She killed him! Fucking whore killed Rousy!"

With angry cries, the two rushed at me. I knew I was outmatched, but I had nowhere to run. No choice. Adrenaline surged anew as I braced myself for the oncoming onslaught, readying my dagger with a snarl.

I somehow managed to dodge a slash from the first one and the second had just grabbed my wrists when a shout from behind deflected their attention.

The one I was struggling with went slack as the pointed end of a rapier suddenly appeared through his chest.

The pirate's corpse slumped to the floor to show Magda standing behind it with a twisted grin of cruel delight. He quickly slipped between me and the remaining pirate dog who lunged, spewing threats and curses, but was waylaid by Magda's rapid swordplay. The scum managed a hasty dodge, then began exchanging rapid blows with the Spaniard.

If I'd had attention to spare, I would have been surprised that the parasite was faring so well against Magda, but movement caught my eye.

Another weasly excuse for a human came slinking through the doorway and Magda couldn't see him from where he stood, doing his best to cut down the skilled pirate in front of him.

But I could.

I circled around the two combatants, ignoring the strange pain firing up and down my leg as I crept forward, staring fixedly at my prey who was only intent on Magda's unprotected back.

The weasel slunk forward, raising a wicked looking saber and I darted low, aiming high, my dagger carving a chunk along the bastard's belly just as he began to charge.

He squealed in pain and backhanded me, the force of the blow staggering me through the doorway and out into the living quarters, my head pulsing with hollow thuds from the strike.

I saw the sword rise into the air and come arching down, and I recoiled in heart-stopping fear, almost frozen with panic even as I somehow stumbled backwards to try and avoid the blow.

The deadly weapon moved as if in slow motion, but I couldn't move fast enough. My entire body felt like I was underwater as I struggled to process I was about to die.

 _Seriously?_ This _is how I die?_

My focus narrowed to the shiny glint of light on steel, even noise itself fading to a faraway hum.

 _After Salazar's promises to keep me safe? The very man that all pirates fear?_

Distantly, I heard a deep voice yelling.

 _What an irony._

* * *

 _Ven aquí -_ Come here

 **I know, I know, hate me all you want, but the next chapter is only in a few days! Hey! Hey! Put down that pitchfork!**


	44. Chapter 44

**And with a bang, we're right back in it! Warning: thoughts of suicide/depression. (Sorry, really needed to have this in here first time I posted, but I forgot.)**

* * *

The falling blade was brought to an abrupt halt by the clang of another sword, inches from my nose.

Sound rushed back in as I stared in shock at the two blades rattling together, unable to move, before an iron band of muscle quickly snaked around my waist.

I was yanked out of the way, back into hard, shielding strength as the other sword was thrown backwards, away from me.

Stunned, I blinked. _I was still alive?_

In a daze, I looked down, peering at the steely limb wrapped around my middle, pinning me against a warm wall that smelled like blood and spice.

 _Huh. It's an arm._

A familiar arm, with a sleeve of black and white stripes.

Comprehension clicked.

 _Armando!_

My knees buckled in relief as my brain finally recognized who held me, who'd managed to find me just in time.

Salazar jerked me to the side as he stepped in front of me, making sure I stayed behind him as he clashed with the wounded rat.

With a vicious snarl, the enraged captain quickly managed to smack the pirate's sword right out of his hand, the slime no match for the Spaniard's sheer, controlled fury.

"Spanish dog!" the man spat as Salazar's rapier reared back in a chilling movement before lunging forward with a fatal strike.

I stared blankly, hardly able to believe it was over so quickly.

Before the body had even hit the floor, Salazar had already wrenched his blade free and twisted around to check me over, then snatched me into a tight embrace, smothering me as he buried his face in my hair.

I gasped as I was crushed against his chest, held so tight I wondered if he was going to break a bone. I could feel the buttons in his coat digging into my skin.

But his overwhelming heat was a welcome bliss. As reality surged in, temporarily removed from relief and disbelief that I'd almost _died,_ so did the feeling that I was freezing. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, deafening me to any other sound as sickening chills raced over my skin.

My knees grew weak and watery as I sagged against him, trembling. Somehow, I managed to burrow stiff hands under his coat, gratefully inhaling the sharp scent of smoke, sweat, and blood. I'd never thought anything could smell so good as I panted raggedly, trying to regain my senses.

It meant I was alive.

 _He had come. He got here in time. He saved me._

Almost frantic murmurs of Spanish trickled into my ears as he pulled back to keep me at arm's length with the hand holding his rapier, quickly running his free hand down my body, checking for obvious wounds.

Past his shoulder, I could see that Magda was flagging wearily, blood staining his uniform from a cut in his side. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to the officer when help was right here.

Brain scrambling back online, I pushed Salazar away from me, alarm fueling my limbs and making it easy to nudge the big Spaniard towards sounds of steel still ringing together. "I'm fine, go help him. Go!"

I could panic later, but if Magda…

"Stay here," he ordered, twitching his rapier to flick off excess blood, his eyes filled with a hard, feverish light I'd never seen before.

He waited, refusing to budge until I nodded quickly, before finally moving to help Magda, even as the officer sliced a deep cut on his opponent's arm.

The pirate didn't stand a chance against the superior swordsman as Salazar exchanged only a few blows before rearing back and stabbing a vicious lunge through the man's heart, grinning darkly as the pirate slumped silently to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut.

Silence echoed eerily through the room, filled only with the sound of our panting and faint shouts from outside.

Then Lady BeKatt crawled out from where she had wedged herself between the bed and a dresser and stood woozily, blood streaming from a large cut on her chest and another one on her arm. "Is it…over?"

With an exclamation, Salazar darted forward as she began to collapse and caught her, sweeping her up into his arms even while his already bloody uniform was rapidly turning bright red.

More blood dripped on the ground beneath her.

Salazar whirled about and snapped orders at Magda, carrying Lady BeKatt past me without a sideways glance and hurried out of the room, Magda on his heels.

 _He...left...me?_

A sour feeling roiled in the pit of my stomach, rocking me back onto my heels, at being left alone in the room, now a silent tomb. The ferocity of the sensation surprised me even as I looked around with detached curiosity.

Even though I distantly realized now wasn't the best time for self-reflection, I couldn't emerge from my dazed state, staring at the glittering streaks on the floor.

Bodies were slumped in silent piles of meat and bone, once having been living, breathing, sentient people, yet were now empty shells. Husks, dripping glistening trickles of crimson and ruby.

I felt like just another husk, left behind, discarded.

Logically, I knew there was no reason to feel like this, but the sense of desertion refused to be explained away. I understood Lady BeKatt had been bleeding fairly badly, and Salazar had come to my rescue just in time, but I seemed to be emotionally unbalanced, and instead of going into a stupor of outright shock, my brain was instead irrationally focusing on being abandoned.

I squinted, trying to figure out if the room was swaying or if I was just imagining it.

Just as suddenly, I realized it wasn't the room that was swaying, it was me. I glanced down and saw one pant leg was absolutely soaked from the thigh down…

With blood.

Ah, now the fiery pain streaking down my leg made sense.

And as the adrenaline continued to wear off, along with the numbness of shock, it became more and more pronounced, sickening throbs that echoed in waves down my thigh to my toes.

Shifting my weight all the way off of it and lifting it slightly eased the nauseating pain, but not nearly enough.

Even without looking, I knew it was pretty bad.

Achingly slow, I managed to limp out into the corridor, ignoring the bloodstains and grisly chunks of human flesh. I was staggering through the _Mary_ in a haze, knowing I needed help, but too tired to care as much as I knew I should. The adrenaline had sapped most of my energy, pain and blood loss slowly eating away at the rest of it.

Willpower was the only thing that kept me going towards where I knew I could find help.

If I had thought the rest of the ship looked like a massacre, it was nothing compared to the inside of the infirmary.

Blood, blood, and more blood. Just…everywhere. It was enough to make even me, who wasn't normally queasy, start to feel lightheaded from more than just my leg.

The screaming and yelling of wounded men rang in my ears, sounding like the howls of demons.

The body of one of the Spanish sailors, whose arm lay across his torso, completely detached at the shoulder, was what cinched my decision that my leg wasn't that bad. _Nobody needs to be worried about me, not with people this injured._

I managed to slip by and grab some gauze and bandages without getting run over by the people rushing back and forth between howling patients, but I couldn't find any alcohol. I wasn't sure if it was simply because I couldn't read the labels or if they didn't use it as a disinfectant yet, but after getting clipped in the shoulder and almost knocked off my feet, I decided now wasn't a good time to start poking through the cabinets.

But I needed alcohol. That much I knew.

A hazy memory flashed through my mind, a box full of small brown bottles that had a distinctive sharp aroma that I'd put in the supply closet for Miguel. The same one I'd been locked in with Salazar.

 _I can make it that far._

Carefully, I stumbled through the loud chaos, past the white-faced form of Lady BeKatt as she was bandaged, her cuts deep but not serious, and made my way slowly to the closet. Breath wheezed from my lungs with every step.

Resting against the door, my eyes flicked over the shelves and the box I was looking for was thankfully right where I'd left it.

 _Oh, thank God._

Reaching with blood-stained fingers, I pulled out one of the bottles and sure enough, the familiar acrid tinge of pure alcohol drifted from the bottle. To make sure, I pulled out the stopper and poured a little onto my fingers before dripping it onto my wound.

 _Yep! That's alcohol!_ I hissed in agony as sharp splinters of pain sheared into my thigh. _Holy fuck that hurts!_

I wasn't sure why there'd be what I'd call pure rubbing alcohol aboard a Spanish warship, but I wasn't about to ask.

Strength almost drained, along with my ability to care that I was leaking vital fluids, I slowly, painfully limped to my cabin, the bloody trail I left behind me blending with the carnage on the formerly spotless wood of the _Silent Mary_.

The corridor blinked in and out of my blackening vision as my cabin door came into sight. _Oooh, maybe I'll bleed to death, then wake up in my comfy bed back home. Wouldn't that be lovely…_

A sharp pain of anguish in my chest said otherwise, and that confused me.

Harsh voices from the doorway beyond interrupted my morbid thoughts, drawing my attention and I stopped, weaving slightly, wanting to be in my cabin before I collapsed, but oddly curious about the shouting.

Curiosity won out, especially since my leg didn't hurt anymore, and I dragged myself forward, peering out the door to see a line of tired-looking Spanish marines lined up against the railing. Rifles were aimed down at the water at the plaintive cries for mercy.

The darkness of night made everything seem ominous, like some creature waited in the shadows to devour its prey with bloody fangs.

There was more than one shattered hull burning in the water, but I didn't have enough strength left to wonder where the other ships had come from. I assumed that the ship the _Mary_ had been pursuing had managed to find allies.

I somehow found enough strength to lean forward enough and see the blurry forms of dozens of men as they clung to burnt, shattered debris, struggling to stay afloat and alive. I felt a flash of pity, then just as quickly recalled the little girl in Salazar's arms, then Rousy and what would have happened if I had ignored Lady BeKatt's screams. Or what had been about to happen to me if Salazar had been but two seconds later.

Speaking of which.

My eyes tracked Salazar as he paced behind the firing line, looking particularly menacing in his uniform of brilliant white, onyx black, and vivid crimson. Small fires scattered across the _Mary's_ deck backlit his intimidating frame before they were quickly extinguished by other crew.

As he barked a command, signaling the marines to fire, I felt absurdly grateful that someone like him existed, was here to cull the threat from the waters, had been just in time to save the both of us. Again.

The crack of rifle fire startled me a little, but I lost interest with the scene before me as it flickered completely black for a brief instant, then came flooding back in a bright haze.

 _Okay, time to go._

I made it into the cabin just before my leg gave way, no longer able to support my weight. I flicked the bolt and practically crawled to the bed, streaking blood all over the floor. _Gah, that's gonna be a mess to clean up. Dammit._

Muscles quivered as I collapsed on the bed, barely having the will to do what came next. Grimacing, I peeled my pant leg away from my thigh, the already cut material ripping easily as I exposed the wound.

"That's not good," I said with a sigh, seeing the bloody mess of muscle, but at least the cut was clean and I hadn't severed an artery, otherwise I'd definitely be dead already.

Muzzily, I started humming a tune as I inspected the sluggishly trickling meat, the sight of the blood pumping out of it in time with my heartbeat making me feel faint.

I knew I should definitely be bandaging it, but I was too deep in a state of mind where I didn't really care if I lived or died.

I also knew this state of mind was not normal. But knowing that didn't lessen the deadening emotions.

Actually, it might be _better_ if I didn't bandage it. This could be the answer to all my problems, and I hadn't even had to do it myself.

Though, oddly enough, I suddenly found myself asking if I really _wanted_ to go back. Yes, I missed my family, my animals, but the _constant_ strain of my job, my life…

 _And I would never see Armando again._

I ignored the sound of boot heels clicking in the corridor, noting distantly when they paused in front of my door, but was too busy dealing with the deep throb of pain that stole the breath out of my very lungs.

A sudden knock on my door made me jump.

Clenching my teeth, I hoped I'd have enough strength to tell whoever it was to go away. I didn't want anyone to see this, see _me_ like this.

I knew I was being all kinds of stupid, but at the moment, I had sunk into a lethargic depression so deep I barely had the willpower to wrap my bloody leg.

Just as suddenly, I was done. I was just so fucking done with it all.

Time travel, pirates, even these friggin' Spanish I'd found myself swept along with. I wanted out. I wanted to go home. And who knows? Maybe dying was how I got there.

The knock came again, this time with a verbal command.

"Open the door."

Dismayed, I squeezed my eyes shut with a quiet groan at the morbid joke the universe was enjoying at my expense.

Of. Fucking. _Course._

Of course, it just had to be _him_.

All the bullheaded males in the world, it just _had_ to be _Capitán_ Armando Salazar, the fucking Spanish Butcher himself, on the other side of my door.

 _Any_ other member of this entire crew and I would have easily been able to send them on their way, but I knew, I just _knew_ he wasn't going to leave me alone with just my say so.

Yes, I was more grateful than he could possibly know that he'd saved my life, but right now, I just wanted to be left alone. I _needed_ to be left alone.

And how the hell did he know I was in here anyway? It was a big damned ship. Was he psychic or something?

"I'm changing," I called out, lying through my teeth as I pushed myself to my feet and began to pad gauze onto the wound. Who knows what he'd do if I died. Probably flip his shit or something, bring me back to the land of the living, only to send me off again with a merry 'fuck you!'.

Would probably serve me right…

But apparently something in my voice hadn't convinced him in the slightest, and even sounded like it had set him on edge. "Isabeau, open the door. ¡ _Inmediatamente_!"

 _Seriously?_ I didn't even have the energy to roll my eyes as I told him, "I'll be done in a minute!"

 _What did you care when you walked right by me with Lady BeKatt in your arms?_ I thought sourly, knowing that this level of spitefulness wasn't normal for me by any means, especially since he'd saved my life right before.

Then I took another look at my leg as more heat seeped onto my hand.

 _I'll be_ dead _in a minute_ , I corrected silently as the gauze was quickly soaked through. It was actually kind of grisly, how much blood I'd lost. It made me wonder if I'd have issues later, what with the alarming lack of transfusions and all.

I found myself unsurprisingly apathetic to the concern.

My head snapped up as the door abruptly shuddered on its hinges. _Oh, shit. It's a sturdy door, right? I mean, no way he's going to-_

It would be a long time before I underestimated the sheer determination of an alarmed Spaniard again as the door suddenly banged open, Salazar's huge form towering over me in two strides.

He paused as the sight of the blood seeping down my leg and immediately crouched to pull my hand away so he could see it properly.

The normally vibrant man went abruptly still while he took in the extent of the damage, then suddenly pushed himself to his feet and the look in his eyes made me instantly jerk back, away from the absolute fury he radiated.

Even through the shadowy tinge of morbid despair, it was enough to make me a little scared, the fear making the darkness retreat slightly.

"¡ _Estupida chica_!" he snarled, more enraged than I had ever seen him even as his hand gripped my arm to keep me from falling backwards. He began ranting at me in Spanish, the rapid flurry of words incomprehensible as he snatched up the bandages and went down on his knees to stem the blood flow.

I was a little amazed that he could keep up his tirade for so long without running out of steam, but when it sounded like he was repeating himself, he switched to English and I was told in no small detail just how harebrained and downright _stupid_ I was to have left his cabin, to have gone to help Lady BeKatt, to be standing here letting myself bleed to death...

I wondered belatedly if he was translating what he'd said in Spanish or if this was a different tangent.

Either way, I felt more than a little ashamed at how reckless I'd been, though if I'd known how close I'd come to death, I might have just stayed put. I would have eventually dealt with the guilt, but seeing that sword cleaving towards my face…

An icy chill raced down my back at the thought.

I glanced down to realize I'd forgotten the alcohol. _Ah...f_ _uck._

Just before Salazar started to put the gauze on, I reached down and cautiously touched his wrist, hoping he wouldn't just smack me aside in his anger.

He paused, glaring up at me as he pressed the gauze tightly against my leg. "What."

Swallowing a few times to moisten my throat, I croaked, "The bottle. Pour it on first."

With a dubious look, he grabbed the bottle and popped the cork, taking a sniff before frowning at me. "Why? This isn't for-"

"It's to help prevent infection," I hissed through clenched teeth, already dreading the pain. So far, my leg had stopped hurting, but this was gonna _burn._ "It works. Promise."

Still skeptical, Salazar did as I asked, dribbling a little into the wound, making blazing fire pierce deep into my bones.

 _FUUUUCK!_

I shrieked at the searing shock of pain, grabbing onto his shoulder, then squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating on breathing through it as he coated the wound in alcohol.

His velvet voice crooned soothingly in my ear as he tried to be as quick as possible.

Agony scorched along my nerves and my mouth gaped wide in a silent scream.

My fingers dug into his shoulder. I knew I was probably hurting him, but my fingers wouldn't respond.

Gray lined the edges of my narrowed vision when I was able to open my eyes, tears trickling down my cheeks from the pain. My jaw hurt from being stretched so tensely.

I wondered if I'd almost passed out as I lifted my head from Salazar's shoulder, barely able to breathe from the memory of pain firing through my body, my upper body leaning completely against him.

Salazar was busy wrapping my leg, high emotion evident in the tight lines of his face, the jerky movements as he tightened the bandages. He had angled his body to support my weight and keep me from falling when I'd fallen forward.

I quickly wiped my face and sat up, dread building rapidly at the sinking suspicion that he wasn't through berating me yet. He was quiet, but I could see the rapid flicker of his jaw.

 _This isn't going to be good._

Finally managing to stem the bleeding, he blew out a huge breath and managed to wipe off some of my blood on a small clean spot on his uniform jacket before running it over his hair, dislodging chunks from his still fairly well-kempt bun.

Weariness lined his face as he leaned back on his haunches and looked up at me, but I knew better than to trust this sudden calm. I tensed, bracing for more of his rage.

He paused for a brief instant before the weariness vanished as anger flooded his features once again. He straightened, abruptly reaching up to grip my chin sternly, almost eye to eye with me even though he was kneeling and I was still sitting on the bed. " _Stupid_ girl _,_ what were you _thinking?!_ "

"I-I went down to the infirmary a-and they seemed really busy," I stuttered, wondering why the hell he was so enraged. I was still alive, more or less, so why was he blowing a gasket?

"I'm not talking about that, though we'll get to that later!" he hissed, eyes glittering with repressed rage. "I told you to _stay in my quarters_! _Santa María, Madre de Dios_ , you almost _died_! If I'd been-" he snapped his mouth shut and squeezed his eyes shut with a pained expression, turning his face away as he fought for control.

Air audibly hissed between his teeth as he sucked in a breath, snapping his eyes open as he asked with a tenuous calm, "And why, may I ask, did you not get your wound attended to before I came into your cabin to find you standing in a pool of your own blood?"

I cringed, unable to pull backwards with his hand still gripping my face. "I _did_ go down to get it looked at, but seeing how injured other people were, I…didn't want to bother anybody," I finished lamely, then seeing his hackles begin to raise again, hurriedly added, "Besides, aren't you supposed to be looking after Lady BeKatt? She was bleeding pretty badly-"

"She wouldn't have bled out in a matter of minutes!" he roared, his accent so thick I could barely understand him. My jaw was starting to hurt where he held me a little too hard, visibly struggling to keep himself in check. "As for the infirmary, my men are _very_ capable of their duties, and you would have been taken care of. As it is, you might get lucky if you don't lose your leg! Not to mention that I am having to prevent you from killing yourself through your own _stupidity_!"

I scoffed, not really caring as the depression swirled and grew darker, apparently loosening my tongue and my brain cells. "Or I could just bleed to death and save you the trouble."

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew that that was the _wrong_ thing to say.

I panicked, trying to twist out of his grip before the man frozen in front of me comprehended what I'd said.

 _Too late!_

Salazar's body vibrated with rage as both large hands flashed to grip my face, jerking me to look him in the eye. His glittering eyes bore into mine, exuding his overbearing will as he drew closer, almost nose to nose, and I couldn't help but absently notice that they were black as pitch at the moment.

"What did you say?"

A whimper clogged the back of my throat as I tried to pull backwards at the terrifyingly quiet voice, but his hands kept me in place.

He was silent for a moment, the thunderous expression growing darker and I was more than a little frightened when he finally spoke.

"I don't _ever_ …want to hear that from you again. Do you understand me?" he said so softly I almost couldn't hear him.

The unvoiced threat was all the scarier in that dangerously even tone and I nodded quickly, not wanting to find out what would happen if I didn't.

I had never seen him this furious. He was more enraged than when I'd told him I was from the future and when I couldn't tell him anything about Spain combined.

It was downright _terrifying._

Not to mention the shame of my selfish thoughts was practically crippling what little emotional barrier I had left. I just wanted to curl up under the bed and cry. Then maybe when I woke up, it would all be better.

Salazar rose, looming over me menacingly and I shrank back from the sheer, boiling wrath emanating from his powerful body, but there was no escape, nowhere for me to go. I knew he could easily break me in half, even if he wasn't infuriated, but the hands that slid under me when he picked me up were gentle, taking extreme care not to hurt me or aggravate my leg.

"Put your arms around my neck."

When I hesitated, he bit out, _"Now,_ Isabeau."

I didn't dare argue with that tone and warily slid my arms around his neck to help support my weight. I resisted the urge to sink into his comforting embrace, remaining stiff in his arms as he strode out of my room and carried me swiftly down to the infirmary. I didn't want to be fixed up, I wanted to go _home…_

Either way, I didn't want to stay in this fucked up time zone anymore.

My brittle indifference lasted right up until he pressed his lips into my hair with a harsh sigh.

The uncharacteristically affectionate gesture made me jerk in surprise and he minutely adjusted his grip so he could hold me closer.

Suddenly, I could feel his heartbeat thundering against my chest.

It was racing as fast as mine, and that rapid pulse shattered my apathy into dust.

I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in his jacket collar, inhaling his scent, trying to ignore the metallic bite of blood that tainted it.

Panic, dread, terror, despair, fear; all twisted and churned on the outskirts of my mind. But the strong arms holding me tight kept them at bay, kept them from swarming.

Oh my god, what had I tried to _do_?!

 _I'd almost…almost…_

My arms tightened around Salazar's neck and I forced the emotions down as the smell of blood grew stronger.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of either Google Translate or SpanishDict)**

 _Estupida chica -_ Stupid girl

 **Oh. Boy. Salazar is very, _very_ pissed... But can you blame the man? You know she just took at least ten years off his life, if not more.**

 **And I'm sorry I didn't post the second chapter in the same week. I was going to, and was prepping the final edits...and fell asleep on my desk. So that didn't happen. Also, I don't think I'm gonna reach my deadline, too many chapters and not enough time. Yes, yes I realize how wrong that sounds...but I'll keep up the rapid posting anyway!**

 **Do you guys want me to leave more commentary on Salazar/Isabeau's interactions? Cuz I do like to make comments, but I also like for people to read things without my influence...**


	45. Chapter 45

**Not a whole lot of commentary for now, but just in case anyone was interested... Breakthroughs in the medical world didn't really begin until the late 19th century, with scientists began to discover that cleanliness _did_ influence a patient's outcome. So as far as I can tell, sterilization wasn't a thing yet. *cringes***

 **Now on to the (not-so) fun part!**

* * *

The infirmary was considerably quieter now than earlier, all the wounded sleeping or dead, but thankfully I only saw two that were covered up. The remaining three seemed that they would survive, if infection didn't set in. Even with its Dark Ages medical equipment, the _Silent Mary_ still showcased the best of the best for the time period, but I knew medicine was still relatively backwards in this time. I just hoped that the Spaniards were smarter than I'd given them credit for.

Salazar's anger was visibly replaced with concern as he gently set me down on one of the empty beds, thankfully not the one next to Lady BeKatt, even though she was still out cold.

Then I started to worry about my own medical treatment in this backwater century.

Instead of the doctor I'd met on my first visit to the infirmary, it was Magda who immediately came over and started undressing the bandaging, exchanging rapid-fire Spanish with Salazar as he rummaged around in thankfully blood-free tools to repair the damage.

I started to hyperventilate upon seeing the torture devices he was preparing, especially the nightmare-sized needle, and began to inch backwards towards the edge of the bed.

Not missing me trying to squirm free in their distraction, Salazar said something to Magda, gesturing to my obvious panic, and was handed a dark bottle of something I didn't want anything to do with.

"Drink," Salazar ordered, bending down to hold the bottle to my lips, the smell emanating from the open top an alien and extremely unpleasant odor. "It will help with the pain."

Clamping my mouth shut, I shook my head violently, trying to watch both him and Magda at the same time. I didn't trust either of them, not surrounded by these relics of gruesome torture in the name of science that had probably killed more men that they had saved.

"You will not want to be awake for this, _señorita._ I promise you," Magda murmured coaxingly and started threading a needle appropriately sized for horses, making me yelp in alarm and I tried to roll away to the other side of the bed so I could escape, bloody leg or no.

"Oh no, you don't!" Salazar snaked an arm across my chest and pulled me back. "Drink this, quickly."

"Fuck you! You're not sticking me with that! I'll shove it through your fucking eye!" Stuck between a warm rock and hard place via needle, I struggled futilely against the iron band Salazar had wrapped around me, holding me down and in place, striving to ignore the annoying little sliver of helpless pleasure at being pinned down. _This is_ not _the time for that! Knock it off!_

"¡ _Deja de luchar_! I'm not letting you up, and one way or another, you're going to drink this _now_!" Salazar snarled, giving me one last opportunity to freely drink the vile smelling liquid.

I twisted my head aside violently, my fingers scratching at his coat as I tried to pull Salazar's arm off of me. "No way in hell, fucking bastard! I'm not drinking that shit!" I might be trying to halfheartedly kill myself, but I wasn't brave enough to drink outright poison!

"Be still!" Salazar was starting to strain to hold me down, before finally snapping something that sounded like a curse and changed positions, using his weight to keep me in place. "You are going to hurt yourself more!"

"Fucking let go of me!" I completely ignored his frustrated growl as I tried to squirm away from him, but he was too strong, the grip he had on my shoulders not giving in the slightest as he kept me pinned. "Magda! Don't you dare touch me with that needle!"

The officer only scowled in response. "Would you rather I simply wait until you passed out in a puddle of your blood first?"

Jerking futilely at the heavy limb holding me down, I flung my head in panicked frustration. "So help me, you better have sterilized that shit!"

Magda paused, staring at me in confusion. "Sterilized? What _are_ you talking about?"

"Are you _kidding_ me?!" I snapped my teeth at Salazar's fingers holding onto my arm, but he knew I wouldn't bite him and didn't even flinch. The bastard. I snarled and spat, "Douse it in alcohol, it reduces chances of infection, because if you end up sawing my leg off from your backwater nursing, I swear to God, I'm fucking gonna rip out your spine and beat you with it!"

Magda said something rapidly in Spanish at Salazar as he pulled out a bottle from one of the cabinets and poured the contents over the needle, not arguing with my demand.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Salazar take a quick drink of whatever it was he'd tried to give me, but I wasn't concerned about that at the moment, too busy staring in horror at the huge-ass needle drawing closer to my leg, the reduced chances of infection doing nothing to calm my increasing panic.

On second thought, maybe I should have drank the potion, even if it really was poison. Then I'd be dead and not worried about that four inch nail Magda was preparing to sew me up with. Shit, it was one thick-ass needle. Fucking hell, it was practically a _crochet_ needle!

Suddenly, a large familiar hand wrapped firmly around my jaw, surprising me enough that Salazar was able to tilt my head to the side with no resistance to meet warm, firm lips that completely covered mine with tingling, unyielding pressure.

I froze in complete astonishment, unable to believe what was happening. My eyes were wide, glued to his in shock, only able to see pure determination in the chocolate depths.

A burning palm slid up my ribs, a thumb boldly stroking the underside of my breast and I squeaked in surprise at the alien touch.

Salazar immediately took advantage of my open mouth to force liquid past my lips, squeezing my jaw to keep me from snapping my mouth shut.

I shuddered violently at the slimy texture, the pleasure of his touch almost cancelled out by its nasty taste, and tried to jerk away from him, but he kept me in place with a firm grip, his lips sealed on mine until I swallowed it.

I managed to break his hold and gagged on the aftertaste of whatever it was he had made me swallow, glaring up at him with watery eyes as he gave me a small, arrogant smirk.

"What the _fuck?"_ I sputtered, wiping a hand across my lips as he let me up, not being able to wipe away the shivering tingles in my mouth or the faint echoes of tiny sparks along my spine nearly as easily.

I gagged again, unable to get rid of the sliminess coating my tongue, and grimaced in disgust. "Oh my god, that stuff is _beyond_ disgusting...I'm gonna be sick."

"You'll thank me shortly."

I opened my mouth to protest profusely to that arrogant statement when Salazar suddenly gripped my jaw again and pressed his mouth against mine before I could close it, forcing more of that slimy potion down my throat.

I honestly thought I was going to throw up. I struggled harder than before but Salazar didn't budge, gently stroking my throat to coax me to swallow, keeping his lips firmly on mine until I managed to choke down what I imagined rotten eggs tasted like.

I swallowed the last dregs on my tongue and shuddered, wrenching my mouth free with a gasp, this time unable to retain any sensations of Salazar's touch as the liquid threatened to come right back up.

With a small retching noise, it settled down to an oily feel in my stomach.

"There now. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Fuck you, asshole," I snapped back, wheezing as an odd numbness slowly spread through my body.

"I'll allow your insults for now. I imagine they're necessary at the moment," Salazar said dryly, carefully lifting his hands, body still tensed to push me back down if I tried to run again.

"Motherfucking…" My lips still tingled and I tried to distract myself with wondering if that should count as my first kiss. A slobbery peck I'd gotten once didn't count at all. _Not really how I'd imagined it'd happen, that's for sure. And that shit was nasty enough I don't think I'll ever be able to_ not _associate it with kissing ever again._

I collapsed against the pillow, ignoring Salazar's quiet exchange with Magda as my stomach desperately tried to revolt.

My eyelids quickly grew heavy, a tugging pressure on my leg coming from far away as Magda sewed me up with quick, precise movements.

Suddenly, the vivid fear that I wouldn't wake up tightened icy fingers around my spine. It was an odd relief to know that the strange apathy that had weighed me down seemed to have dissipated, but I would have infinitely preferred for it to leave _after_ my induced coma.

I struggled to keep my eyes open, not wanting to fall asleep, in case I didn't wake up. I tried to lift my hand but it wouldn't move, every part of me weighed down as if I was encased in concrete. I began to panic as my body refused to respond to my brain's commands.

Noticing my frantic pants, Salazar smoothed a hand over my eyes, closing them, as he murmured quietly, "Rest, _querida_. I'll be here when you wake. I promise. _No dejaré que te pase nada_."

Soothed by the deep, husky baritone, I finally relaxed and let myself drift away.

 **xxxxx**

It seemed like forever before I could open my eyes, even though I was awake for a while beforehand.

I felt…terrible. I felt almost as bad as right before Salazar had carried me off the pirate ship.

My vision was so blurry I could barely see, my head was pounding like I'd been used as a gong, everything was too limp to so much as twitch, and my chest felt like it had a weight on it.

But the more I blinked, the more my vision sharpened, though the ability to see didn't affect the feeling of microwaved shit after being freezerburned.

At least I could see, so I took stock as best I could without being able to move.

My skin felt oily, indicating I'd been sleeping a while, or sweating in my sleep. I vaguely recalled sweating being a symptom of blood loss, but it was also fairly hot inside the infirmary, now that I recognized where I was.

My fingers twitched in response to the command to move, but that was about it. Wasn't too worried yet on that front.

All in all, it felt like I'd been asleep for at least a day or so.

 _Again with this? At this rate, might as well call me Sleeping Beauty_.

The thought produced a small huff of amusement. _Then again, I'm not beautiful, and actually the kiss_ put _me to sleep._

I managed a small snicker before I forgot and tried to shift my leg, my thigh having been throbbing with a warm ache that immediately intensified into a fiery shard of white hot pain.

I wheezed and squeezed my eyes shut, my teeth squeaking as I ground them through the pain, resolving not to do that again for a _long_ while.

As I lay there, panting slightly, I realized that the feeling of weight on my chest hadn't gone away.

Glancing down, I saw that there was a good reason for that feeling. A real, tangible reason.

One who's long hair was skewed in all directions as he used my chest as a pillow.

 _He didn't leave_.

Shakily, I lifted the hand Armando wasn't lying on and brushed it out of his face with a wobbly smile at the sight of _el Matador del Mar_ , fierceness gentled with sleep while he used me as a pillow.

A different sort of pressure clenched under my breastbone and I struggled to swallow at the overwhelming feeling of emotions, doing my damnedest not to turn into a watering pot again. Several deep breaths seemed to help with the need to start bawling as well.

Running my fingers through the inky strands, I realized it wasn't quite solid black. In the bright lights of the numerous lanterns, I was able to make out the gleam of mahogany and a few light, almost blonde strands that had been bleached by the sun.

I also noticed the haggardness lining around his eyes. Poor man looked like I felt.

Armando didn't so much as twitch as my fingers lightly stroked down his nose, feeling the bump in the bridge where it seemed to have been broken.

Taking advantage of the moment, I studied his face, noting again how different he looked with his hair down. I hadn't seen him so disheveled since his fever, and I had to admit, even haggard, he looked good. Almost too good to believe that he was actually human.

I twisted my head to ease the awkwardness of my position and ran my fingers up along his cheek to sift gently through the dark strands shadowing his face.

My fingers suddenly tangled in his hair and I took a second to work out the knot. I'd never much cared for long hair on men, seeming too strange to me, but on Armando, the effect was much different. I wasn't sure if it was because I knew him personally or if he was just capable of pulling it off better, though I suspected the latter.

I continued to stroke his hair, marveling at how soft it was, marveling at how it felt to wake up with him like this. What would it be like to wake up in his arms, in his bed?

To my amusement, his mouth was partly open, blowing small puffs of air on my skin every now and then.

 _Well, at least he doesn't snore._ I smiled, continuing to gently twine his hair around my fingers as I mused. _It's so easy to forget that he's just a man behind his magnificent veneer. Just a human being._

The thought of what'd it be like to have someone like him be romantically interested in me tickled through my brain, and the sheer impossibility of it saddened me. I knew he was way out of my league, and a man as busy as he was certainly didn't have time for anything like that, but still, a girl could wonder.

I found another knot and gently worked it out, luxuriating the silky feel of the heavy locks. I missed being able to pet him, missing being able to stroke my fingers over his skin, touching him.

A brutal thought broke the peacefulness of the moment.

 _I would have died if not for him._

Shuddering breaths trembled in my throat as I tried to keep myself calm, to not wake him.

Armando had saved my life again. _Twice_. And he'd been so angry…just thinking of it even now made a shiver skate over my neck.

But why? Why had he been so livid? Why had me being hurt upset him so badly? Yes, I was his responsibility, but surely that didn't warrant such a rage as to make him tremble with it?

 _Why had he kissed me?_

I squeezed my eyes shut as the memory of his lips pressed against mine blazed through my brain. Even with the acrid taste of whatever that nasty potion had been, I'd still been able to feel the warmth of his lips, the feeling of firmness, the tingles that spread from where we'd touched.

If it hadn't been for that stuff he'd forced down my throat, it would have been one of my oldest wishes answered.

 _Yeah, but then he wouldn't have kissed you if it wasn't for that nasty shit. Let's face it, girlfriend. You and I both know that a man like that is never going to kiss us willingly the way we're wanting._

The sobering thought splashed cold water on my daydreaming and I grumbled silently at my brain's inability to let me enjoy anything nice.

But the voice was right. Salazar would never kiss me. That night on the deck had been a fluke, and nothing more. Sure, he let me hug him, but kissing was a whole different level of intimacy, one I wasn't even sure I was prepared to deal with.

Yet my mind kept circling back to the fact that I'd almost died. _I'd almost died_.

Even now, I could still see light glinting on steel as it slowly arched towards my head, intent on cleaving my skull in half.

Escaping the pirate ship had been one thing. I hadn't had any hope then, had only the knowledge of what was most likely coming. But then Salazar had found me in the nick of time, and saved both me and Lady BeKatt, however unwittingly.

And saved me again with the pirate who'd tried to bury a sword in my skull. And again when I'd inadvertently almost let myself bleed out.

Had I really done that? Had I really been about to let his efforts, his kindness go to waste like that?

 _Had I really tried to leave him like that?_

I blinked. _Where the fuck had_ that _come from?_

Pain lanced through my chest at the thought of never seeing Armando again, startling me.

Then panic began to build.

Running a quick check, I fantasized about returning home, to the busy, stressful, unrelenting rat race of my life. To my cold, empty bed. To never having dinners that kept me on my toes with curiosity and innuendos. No more embraces that enveloped me with heat and spice.

My insides twisted with a lurch of agony, waves of sickening chills slithering down my back while my heart suddenly skipped a beat, then kicked into fifth gear on a dose of nitro.

At just the mere _thought_ of leaving.

I knew then I was horribly, deeply, irrevocably in trouble. _Deep_ , deep trouble.

A pained whine slipped from between my teeth before I could cut it off, my throat working as I tried to swallow it, but it was already too late.

The noise jolted Armando awake. He inhaled deeply and slowly raised his head, blinking fuzzily before his chocolate gaze snapped to my face.

"Hi," I said weakly, still struggling to hide my devastating insight before he saw it.

Instead of greeting me back, he frowned as he studied me closer, focus quickly sharpening on my expression.

I was all too aware it was probably too late to hide it from him.

Sure enough, he shifted and one large hand slid up to gently cradle my face as he stared at me, concern visible in his eyes. "What's wrong, _querida_?"

I squeezed my eyes shut so that he couldn't see what that soft tone did to resolve to stay strong. Before I could do something stupid, like burst into tears, or worse, blurt out the truth.

His thumb brushed across my cheek in an effort to soothe and I felt my lip tremble with threatening tears. Sucking in a shuddering breath, I quickly turned to press my face into his palm, trying to stave the tears, trying to hide the pain.

"I'm fine."

Armando was a decorated captain in the Spanish Royal Armada. He wouldn't be lacking for female company and he was smart enough to choose someone worthy to look after him, to remind him that there was more to life than just executing pirates, to take care of him when he was sick and to remind him it was okay to tease and to have fun.

It wouldn't matter when I left anyway. Someone like me wasn't capable of matching up to an individual like _el Matador del Mar_. Driven, unbreakable, possessing a strength of inner will that outclassed anything I was capable of.

If anyone could finish what he set out to do, to rid the seas of the threat of piracy, it would be Armando Salazar.

And eventually, he'd find some stunning woman able to stand at his side, with the strength to help him, with caliber to match his.

But that person would never be me.

It wasn't that I had no faith in myself, it was simply that I was a realist. I knew my limits, I knew my strengths. And I knew that I'd been on my own for my entire life. A little taste of what could be would be all I'd ever have.

I forced the tears back, shoved the nauseating ache down, and opened my eyes, hoping that the agony winding thorn-filled coils around my chest wasn't visible on my face.

"Nothing's wrong," I lied with only a slightly faltering smile, looking back into those gorgeous eyes.

I was actually quite proud that I managed not to flinch away from his intense attention, to not drop my gaze and give away my lie.

Armando studied me carefully, keenly, seeming to notice everything I was trying to hide, his thumb stroking my cheekbone.

He wasn't stupid by any means, and he knew I was lying to him. He knew something was wrong.

If he pressed me, I would crumble. I knew it. He probably did too.

I didn't want that. I didn't want to burden him with a bawling, sobbing mess again. I didn't want him to deal with my pain. It was mine to bear, mine to suffer, and I wasn't going to force it on him. He had enough problems on his plate already.

"I didn't think to ask…you okay? I couldn't tell if you were hurt or not…" I trailed off at his strange, almost sad smile.

Armando didn't push against my brittle armor, didn't force me to give him his answers. Respected my emotional space.

He shifted, edging sideways until I was literally trapped underneath his upper body, unable to retreat under his weight.

I inhaled quickly, the sound chasing the sadness away from his smile as I stared at him, wide-eyed.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he lowered his chest more, his elbow on my opposite side propping some of his weight so that he wasn't crushing me, but I could feel every contour of his lean strength, his physical power, pressing against my breasts, my stomach.

Before I could ask what in the world he was doing, he touched his forehead against mine, and softly murmured in Spanish, " _No puedes esconderte de mí para siempre_."

Basking in the lovely feeling of his voice vibrating through my chest, I closed my eyes and tilted up towards him, reciprocating the gesture, even as I wondered just what the hell he'd said.

He rarely spoke to me in Spanish unless it was a basic term I could guess or he was upset or angry, so the fact that he had done so on purpose meant he didn't want me to know what he'd said. Which meant it was probably important. Which also meant he wouldn't give me a translation even if I asked for one.

Groaning in frustration, I angled my face away from his, shivering a little when his fingers slid from my cheek to my throat at the movement.

He lifted his head and watched me with half-lidded eyes, seeming more at ease now than earlier.

Truth be told, I felt a lot better too.

Tingles skittered along my neck as his fingers lightly brushed back and forth along my jaw, warmth emanating from the heavy form half on top of me.

He was being extremely tactile, and very insensitive of personal space, not that I cared. Though I did wonder if it was because I'd almost died yet again, or if he was just feeling off from his lack of sleep.

"You know, most people don't appreciate it when you flaunt your dual-linguistic skills," I remarked dryly, not able to shake the feeling that a few questions would be answered if he'd said that sentence in English.

Armando smiled slightly, his fingers tickling small designs over my rapid pulse. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb," I scolded, not mollified by the note of amusement in his voice. I pulled myself up from underneath him, ignoring the warning throb in my thigh as I did so. "You know what I'm talking about."

Armando grunted and dropped his weight, pinning me in place before I could shift any further.

I wrinkled my nose at him in half-hearted annoyance, then snuffed in surprise when he reached up and tapped my nose.

"No, I was not injured during the skirmish. Speaking of which."

He sat up, taking his delicious heat with him, and I noticed he was only wearing a white cotton shirt, minus his waistcoat, and he looked so unbearably _handsome_ that my heart skipped several beats before resuming its normal, albeit faster, pace. His shirt allowed for a glimpse of bronzed chest, skin just begging to be nibbled. I could see a gold cross, one of the older styled ones, nestled under his shirt.

I wasn't sure if it was him or if it was the drugs still muddling my brain, but he was positively _blinding_.

He must've heard my breath catch because he gave me a smirk, which didn't do anything for my rapid heartbeat. Lifting my blankets so he could inspect my leg, he wiggled the bandage just enough so that he could see the cut. "Luckily, it wasn't as deep as I'd feared, only a small amount of damage to the muscle. Your trick with the alcohol seems to have worked well. Magda says it is healing nicely, and sees no sign of infection, but I'm afraid it will scar."

His finger pressed lightly against the skin at the edge of the bandage, making pain flare up my thigh, and I grabbed his wrist, hissing at the soreness.

Murmuring an apology, he adjusted the bandage back into place and covered my leg with smooth, precise movements, though I did wonder if it was my imagination or if his fingers stroked over my skin a little.

I sank back into the pillow with a small grimace, assuming I'd imagined it. "I don't care about that. I'm not really one to be bothered by scars."

My disappointment was astonishingly strong when he didn't lay back down, instead choosing to lean back in his chair and regarded me with a contemplative expression. "How interesting…"

His eyes flicked up to my face. "Any more desire to impart more colorful language?"

Sheepishly, I cringed at the memory of my behavior. "I'm sorry about that...most of it was just sheer panic."

"Mm."

"...'m glad you're okay," I mumbled with a yawn, surprisingly very tired, my eyes already closing against my will.

My eyes snapped open at the unexpected snort in reply and I saw anger start to simmer in his grim expression. _Oh, boy. Here we go. Should have known it wouldn't be that easy._

With a resigned sigh, I carefully rolled towards him, making sure not to jar my leg as I moved.

"You disobeyed my orders." His tone was stern, no less biting with its low volume. "I told you to stay in my quarters. And where do I find you? If I'd been but a second later, there would be a sabre buried in your skull!"

Icy spider legs tickled down my spinal column at the quiet, forceful words.

I shuddered, curling into a ball as dread gathered like a weight in my stomach. "I couldn't stand there and listen to her scream. I just couldn't…"

"Isabeau, look at me."

* * *

 **They kissed! Well. Kinda sorta...yes, I hate myself sometimes too...**

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of multiple sources [I think SpanishDict?])**

 _Deja de luchar_ \- Stop fighting (me)

 _No dejaré que te pase nada_ \- I won't let anything happen to you

 _No puedes esconderte de mí para siempre -_ You can't hide from me forever

 **Yay! People seem to like my comments! Now would be the time to say something witty, but we all know that ain't me.**

 **So as you can imagine, every gray hair that Salazar has, is because of Isabeau. Not intentionally, of course. And next chapter we get to clear the air a bit, get a bit of truth out in the open. Which will only add to Isabeau's turmoil...**

 ***shrugs* Welp, no one ever said it was easy falling in love with an 18th century Spanish captain, right?**


	46. Chapter 46

**Heyo, little bit of a bad news... I, er, have hit a bit of a block with connecting the next segment (which is needed in order to continue), and haven't had time to unravel the knot. I'm hoping this weekend offers the opportunity to do so, but...Life. The Universe. And Everything (Else). So it might a few extra days in between uploads while I get that ironed out. After that should be smooth sailing all the way through to my goal, though!**

 **And another note; I would just like to say, thank you for all your reviews, my lovelies. I know I say that, and I try to respond, I really do. I feel awful that I don't thank each and every one of you for your comments, and I'm trying to get better at it. Sadly, I have the memory of a goldfish (I swear to you, I am not joking. It's that bad.) and I think about needing to respond, and next thing I know, a whole month has gone by. So I would like to apologize if you feel that you are not appreciated when you leave a comment and I don't say anything in return. I do read each and every one of them and usually start blubbering like a leaky ceiling in a monsoon. So thank you, again.**

* * *

The suddenly harsh, almost anguished note in his voice forced my eyes upwards until I could see just how upset he was.

Armando leaned forward, reaching out with one strong hand to grasp one of mine. The cross swung on its chain under his shirt, and I could just make out what seemed to be a ruby inlaid in the middle.

I twisted my hand and intertwined my fingers with his, never tiring of the sight of his darker skin against mine. Skin bronzed from years of manning naval vessels, his hand capable of wielding his rapier with such skill, tapered with elegant fingers.

The grave expression on his face made me want to crawl under the bed in shame.

"Do you know what it would have done to me if I'd-" he broke off with a shudder, turning away as he struggled to compose himself. Air exploded from him in a rush, only to be sharply inhaled again.

I squeezed his fingers, trying to comfort him while so many emotions coiled in my chest.

Unable to look at me, he continued. "I cannot believe how stupid you were. _Stupid_." Dark eyes cut back to me, fierce emotions blazing in their depths and silencing my automatic rebuke. "And then you did not even attend to your own wound! You would simply let it bleed! Don't try to deny it," he warned, clenching my fingers in his grip to silence my protest.

I grudgingly closed my mouth, unable to contradict him. It wasn't worth arguing when it was a possibility he was right.

"Isabeau, you are brave, brave enough to be considered stupid, and I have seen that you do not lack self-preservation, so in the name of all that is holy, _why_?" Armando's accent was slowly getting thicker, an indication of just how badly this had shaken him.

Miserably, I closed my eyes and shrank into the pillow, not wanting to answer. It would just make it worse. The distress in his voice was already painful, cutting deep to my bones and making me feel awful. Tears pricked behind my eyes, gathering strength with every passing second.

Fingers stroked my cheek, coaxing me to look at him. "Why would you try to leave me like that?"

Wetness trickled under his fingers and onto my pillow at the soft, distressed whisper. "I don't know...I just...I just couldn't bring myself to care anymore." I turned my face into his palm, feeling hot tears slick his skin. "For an instant, just for a second, I wondered if I might be able to go home-"

" _No puedes dejarme. ¡No lo permitiré!_ "

I peered back at Armando at the sudden outburst of Spanish, surprised to see a pained grimace twisting his handsome face as he took a breath to calm himself. Ingrained discipline smoothed his expression before he spoke in English, "If you die, it will not get you home."

I snorted, closing my eyes and pressed my nose against his wrist, inhaling his scent. "You an expert in time travel, _Capitàn_?"

He was silent for a long, long minute. Then he spoke, his voice steadier, but there was still an audible strain. "I think after the liberties that have been taken, you are free to call me Armando."

My eyes opened in surprise, not realizing that I'd already begun thinking of him by his first name until he'd said that, and quickly jerked my brain back into order.

Managing to unglue my tongue, I started to protest, even as warmth pooled in my belly at the thought of being allowed to call him by his first name. "I don't think-"

"You did not die to be brought here, _sí_?" he asked, completely ignoring my protest.

I sighed wearily at him bulldozing right over me and tried to squash the little happy bubbles in my chest with reality. It seemed doubtful that he would appreciate the intimacy that would come with me using his first name later. It would be safer to continue using his last name or title...

But his argument did make sense. "Correct."

Slowly, he pulled back his hand from under my cheek, only to smooth it over my hair instead, a slight frown creasing his brow. I couldn't tell if it was because I'd confirmed his suspicions or something else. "Then dying here would not get you home."

His other hand clenched into a tight fist at his words, and even though I was annoyed by his sound logic, I didn't like the echo of distress on his face.

I reached out and slid a hand over his, my fingers smoothing across the rigid tendons until they relaxed under my touch. I felt him trembling underneath my hand and worry tightened my fingers on his. Yet even the soft touches couldn't stop the sudden ache in my chest from morphing into words.

"Why would it bother you so much? Soon I'll be off the _Mary_ , and it'll be like I never existed."

Before I could even finish speaking, I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut.

I bit my lip, cringing as the soft words echoed in the small space between me and Salazar, the pain of my spoken thought wrenching a hole in my chest.

Salazar completely froze. Even the trembling under my fingers stilled. He slowly pulled his hand out from under mine and the pain worsened to a degree I didn't think possible.

"After everything, you think I do not care, Isabeau? _Dios mío_." He laughed humorlessly. "I cannot believe how idiotic you are."

"You know, I'm getting real tired of being called stupid," I muttered, knowing that I'd somehow hurt him, and it made me feel sick. The pain in my chest intensified to unbearable levels and it made it almost impossible to think.

"Then do not give me cause to do so!"

"If I'm so stupid, then why do you waste your time with me then?!" I yelled back, the piercing ache in my chest making me lash out. What was wrong with me? Why was I pushing him away like this? I didn't want him to go!

Salazar gave me a disgusted look before lurching to his feet, pacing away from my bed, fist clenched around the hilt of his rapier.

Absolute panic shot through me at the thought of him leaving me, obliterating the ache, and I automatically reached out after him before I had a chance to think about what I was doing. "Wait-"

He pivoted, anguish twisting his face when he saw my outstretched hand, and stalked back towards me.

Grabbing my hand before I could pull it back, he lowered himself to sit on the bed next to me, dropping his head to press his lips against my fingers. " _Querida, y_ ou think I would be this angry, this upset, about someone I have no concern for?"

I bristled at his chiding, but I didn't answer his question. I knew what I _thought_ , that I was nothing more than an unwanted passenger, but so many of his actions and the way he was behaving now contradicted everything I'd thought I knew. Still, I couldn't be completely sure. And there wasn't an answer that wouldn't land me in hot water.

Yet whatever the Spanish term he was using meant, the sound of it on his tongue made warm chills quiver all over my skin. I wanted to hear him say it again.

His jaw clenched at my continued silence, a pseudo-affirmative even if I didn't say anything. And apparently wasn't the correct answer. "You are blind, Isabeau. You think I would indulge anyone as much as I do you? Allow any other woman to get away with behavior such as yours?"

"Hey, don't make this about me like that," I snapped, starting to grow frustrated. I didn't do this touchy-feely shit for a reason, dammit! I _knew_ I was oblivious to emotional undertones! And almost everything he said was full of them. "You wanna know what I think? I don't even know _what_ to think anymore. I don't know! Yes, I realize I shouldn't be getting away with as much bullshit as I do, but _still_! I don't _deal_ well with these kinds of things! I never have."

I flopped on my back with a huff, frustrated and scared and confused, then grunted in pain as the movement pulled at my stitches.

I didn't know what I was getting into, what I was supposed to do, but I did know that something had definitely developed between me and an 18th century Royal Naval captain, despite my best efforts to be invisible.

I couldn't ignore it anymore. And I was afraid to push too hard, to find out exactly what it was.

Anxiety and anticipation squeezed my muscles almost painfully, and it scared me how much I'd come to care about this man, whom I had no business caring for.

"I'm just so...confused," I whispered, tired, exasperated, and lacking answers to pivotal questions. And my leg was slowly beginning to feel like it was on fire.

I was scared I was falling in love. And if that really was the case, I didn't know how to stop it.

Even scarier, I wasn't completely sure if I even _wanted_ to stop it.

Falling in love was a wonderful thing to fantasize, but in practice, it was frightening and overwhelming and unknown and this man was way beyond my character level. Jokes aside, Salazar was too mature for me to even consider the possibility of him loving me back, and if I _was_ falling in love with him, that idea was too awful to contemplate.

Fingers softly stroked my cheek, enticing me to turn and look at him. I twisted my head wearily, surprised to see the thoughtful frown he wore, then rolled over back onto my side to face him with a soft sigh, wincing as my leg protested the movement.

 _That's gonna be fun to remember. I suppose I should be happy I still_ have _a leg._

Salazar gazed at me for a moment, his eyes unreadable with whatever thoughts plagued him, then held up a revoltingly familiar bottle. "Drink this, then rest. We will discuss this more later, when you have healed."

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, but didn't have the strength to fight him. Obediently staying still when he put it to my lips and tilted it, I managed one swallow before my empty stomach violently rejected the idea of any more.

Apparently that satisfied him enough that he stoppered it and set it next to my bed, gently brushing the hair out of my eyes as the concoction worked its way into my system.

I closed my eyes with a deep sigh, suddenly exhausted. I despised states of high emotional turmoil, and I was in the middle of one beyond any I'd felt before. The prospect of falling in love was like jumping off a cliff into the Grand Canyon, sans parachute, and I had no clue what waited for me at the bottom.

It scared me stupid.

"Do you find me that tiresome, Isabeau?" Salazar asked with quiet amusement when I yawned suddenly, the numbness bringing with it a sweet, restful oblivion.

Even worn to the bone, I managed to tease back with a slight shiver. "Definitely. Nothing to do with blood loss and high amounts of adrenaline."

I heard him suck in a quick breath at my dark humor before reaching across my shoulder to tuck the blankets over my exposed back. A large hand smoothed over my hair, making me melt under his touch. "I almost lost you..."

I nuzzled into his palm when he moved to stroke a thumb over my cheek. "But you didn't. Still here to drive you crazy."

A huffed laugh was music to my ears before he murmured, "Rest. I will see you when you wake."

Reaching up, I slipped my fingers over his as he continued to stroke my face. "You don't have to keep watch if you have repairs to oversee."

But even as I mumbled through the thickening fog, my fingers involuntarily clenched, holding him tighter. I didn't want him to go...

Salazar hesitated a brief second, probably trying to sort through the conflicting signals, but before I could loosen my grasp and let him leave, he twisted his hand around, twining his fingers through mine. Weight depressed the bed as he sat down next to me, lifting my hand to press a kiss against my knuckles. "I will remain until you fall asleep. Rest."

Content, I pulled my legs up so that I was partially curled around his hips, feeling Salazar's warm touch sooth my ragged nerves. I might be frightened by the depth of my feelings for him, but I honestly didn't know if I could live without this. There was a part of me that insisted that it was already too late...

Just before I drifted off, I felt him lean down and something soft and firm brushed against my lips, almost like a kiss, before peaceful unconsciousness dragged me under.

 **xxxxx**

Pressure wrapped thick fingers around my neck and squeezed, jolting me upright, wide awake in the middle of sometime.

I wheezed, panting for breath as my hand flew to my neck, feeling only the thin skin of my throat, my rapid pulse fluttering under my fingertips as I sucked in gulps of air.

I had no idea what time it was. My skin was slicked with sweat, and it was dark enough that I could barely make out shapes in the darkness.

My heartbeat hammered in my ears as I glanced around frantically for the source of my nightmare, but there wasn't anything, anyone.

Just me, in the darkness.

 _Where was I?_

The warm, sticky sweat on my skin felt all too much like blood and I began to tremble, cold spreading outwards, emanating from my spine.

" _Por-por favor_..."

I jolted, the faint whisper sounding like a pistol shot in the stillness. Where was I?

"... _por favor_..."

The smell of blood and sweat mingled unpleasantly in my nose. The bed felt lumpy and unfamiliar beneath me. This wasn't my bed.

My eyes finally were able to pick out blurry shapes, and I slowly recognized the walls of the infirmary.

Pain fired along all the nerves of my thigh when I tried to move and I just barely choked back a howl as everything came rushing back.

Rousy crawling towards me, hands outstretched to crush my throat…blood streaming like water from his mouth as the pale pink of his lungs glistened in the dim light…the gleam of steel as it arched towards my face, unstoppable, unavoidable-

"... _por favor_..."

The raspy plea came from one of the beds across from me.

Why was no one coming?

I breathed through my nose, trying to calm myself even as I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Carefully, I cautiously inched my leg over the edge of the bed, breathing faster as it throbbed in warning of the movement, but didn't fully protest.

"... _por favor_..."

If I'd had the spare breath, I would have said something, but instead, I concentrated on sitting upright, then pushing myself ever so slowly to my feet, unsure if my weakened muscles would hold my weight.

My good leg wobbled precariously, but didn't give out. I knew better than to test my bad leg. It was barely able to keep me balanced, and any weight would put me flat on the floor.

I made it to the end of the bed, then hesitated. Crossing from one bed to the other was going to be a struggle, but I still didn't hear any movement. Was I the only one who heard the hoarse whispers?

I listened, but all I heard was the gravelly voice softly pleading in Spanish, not anyone I instantly recognized. I hadn't gotten a good look at anyone in the beds. Was Reíno in here somewhere?

Carefully concentrating as best as I could, my head oddly fuzzy, I limped across the floor, managing to make it to the other bed before I collapsed on it, pain flaring at the quick movement.

"¿ _Quién_...?"

I couldn't do anything more than catch my breath, panting harshly as I waited for the pain to fade. Trying to distract myself, my eyes flicked over the man lying on the bed, surprised by the sheer extent of the bandages covering him. Even most of his face was covered, only one eye and below his nose visible.

He wasn't anyone I recognized. By the tattered remnants of his uniform, he appeared to be one of the lower ranking sailors, not an officer.

"What's...your name?" I managed to gasp, hoping whoever he was, he understood English.

The eye that wasn't bandaged flicked down to gaze at me with a glazed focus, as if he was looking straight through me.

I shivered at that thousand-yard stare, but inched closer, hoping he wouldn't lash out in his state.

"Altivo." His voice was a dry rasp, as if he hadn't drunk anything in weeks. "Altivo."

He suddenly started to cough, a horrible wracking noise that made my mind flash back to when Armando was sick.

Warily, I stood on my left leg, my right incapable of more than mere balancing, and hobbled unsteadily back to my bed.

 _Hopefully, someone put a pitcher_...

I breathed a sigh of relief when I made out the shape of a water pitcher in the darkness. Grabbing the pitcher and the mug next to it, I limped slowly back to Altivo's bed, pain radiating up and down my leg with every step.

I almost fell on the floor before I managed to catch myself, spilling some of the water as I did.

Cursing quietly, I shifted to sit on the bed, knowing I'd probably done too much, too soon. I was already exhausted.

"Hold on...here." I angled so that I could support my weight and poured water in the mug before setting the pitcher on the floor.

Altivo struggled upwards a little and I helped prop him up so that he wouldn't choke or spill, holding the cup as he greedily sucked down water.

My mind snapped back to when I'd woken to my fever, when Lesaro had held the cup for me. How did that seem so long ago?

The man greedily emptied the cup in three gulps before sinking back down on the pillow. To my relief, his breathing sounded a great deal smoother, the rasping eased significantly.

I leaned down to fill the cup again and his hand shot out, catching my arm.

The sudden movement made me jump. Startled, my gaze flashed down to see him gripping my arm almost painfully before I jerked my head up to see him staring at me with a blind panic.

"Don't...go!" His breath came in short pants as his fingers clenched tighter.

"I was just going to refill the cup," I said, grimacing as I twisted my arm in his painful grip. "Please…"

Remorse dimmed the panic a little, and he loosened his hold to only encircle my arm, but he didn't let go. "They...come back...if you...go."

"Who comes back?" I asked in bewilderment, wincing as my arm throbbed, knowing I'd have bruises later.

Air escaped from Altivo in one long sigh, his torso deflating so much it almost looked like he was about to just collapse into a papery bag of skin. "The memories…the voices…the demons..."

His voice drifted to a faint whisper as he began to go limp, his exertions too much for his body. His grip slackened until his hand slid off my arm, yet his eye remained glued to my face, pleading for me to stay, even as it gradually began to fade into the dull stare again.

My throat tightened at the poor man quietly begging for someone to keep him company, to keep him from feeling alone in the darkness. Alone with his memories.

After that nightmare, I was pretty sure I knew at least a little of how he felt.

Completely drained from his outburst, he didn't protest as I got up and slowly limped back to my bed. Simply stared blindly at the spot where I'd been.

The lights were on, but wherever he was, it wasn't home.

Guilt squeezed tightly in my stomach at leaving him, but I continued, barely making it to my bed before collapsing on it. Quick pants hissed through my teeth as I fought against the fiery teeth digging into the muscle. _Holy fuck, all this moving around can't be aggravating anything good…shit, shit, fuck,_ shit _this hurts!_

It was a good five or six minutes before the agony died down enough that I tested movement. The only good thing about the pain was that it made it impossible for the memories to take hold.

I grabbed a handful of blanket and draped it around my neck before dragging myself back to Altivo's bunk, my progress becoming slower and slower before I finally made it to his bed, tears of pain trickling down my cheeks.

Altivo didn't react this time, that one eye locked blankly on some spot on the ceiling.

Crawling onto the bed was a chore, and I had to be very careful not to jar my leg or the poor man's wounds, but I managed to squeeze in next to him, hoping that simply having a body close by would help with his withdrawal.

It was devastating to see him lay there, as if he was already dead and his brain hadn't caught up with the fact yet.

I wiped my tears on the corner of the blanket and wiggled to try and get comfortable, which I quickly realized wasn't going to happen. These cots were barely designed to hold one person, let alone two people. Certainly not when one of them was an average sized male who couldn't move over to make room.

Not to mention that even though the infirmary should have been hot, and had been when I'd first been brought down here, it seemed cold now, the sweat on my skin cooled by the air and making me shiver. Altivo provided little to no warmth, and I tried to give him as much of my own as I could. Out of the two of us, I was pretty sure I was faring better.

Tucking myself under the blanket to futilely stop the shivering, I knew that sleep was a long time coming.

It did strike me as odd at how little this bothered me mentally. In any normal situation, I'd never want to have my personal space so violated, but the dull, almost broken look in Altivo's stare was enough to make me ignore any discomfort, and any thought to how abnormal this was. Different rules applied in the sickroom.

I sighed softly and shifted a little, trying to find a comfortable position that didn't feel cramped and freezing. The stink of stale sweat and old blood stung my nose, along with a faint trace of the sickly sweet smell of rotting flesh. I shuddered, hoping it was just some chunks of flesh that hadn't been cleaned out somewhere, and not someone literally rotting alive.

Another tremor rattled through my bones and I exhaled, shifting once again as I tried to fall asleep. Exhausted, drained, and in pain, it should have been easy, but it took a long time before I started to fade out.

Altivo suddenly let out a long, deep sigh, noticeably relaxing against me. "Thank...you..."

I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.

 **xxxxx**

"Come, _amorcita_. You should not be here."

The gentle movement of arms wedging underneath my back made me groan softly. I'd been unable to sleep deeply, constantly chilly and uncomfortable, but couldn't wake enough to stop from being lifted from the bed.

Warmth almost burned along my side and I instinctively turned into it, seeking more. I'd been so _cold..._

"Shh...go back to sleep."

The soft crooning coaxed me to settle against the warm, firm chest I was held to with a sleepy mumble.

Lips pressed into my hair and I felt movement, but I was too content to care. I was right where I wanted to be.

Gently, I was lowered onto softness, blankets sliding to cover me, but when the arms went to let go, I whimpered pleadingly, not wanting that wonderful heat to leave. "...stay..."

The dreams would come back if it left. The glint of steel in the darkness, glistening drops of crimson...

If the warmth stayed, I would be safe. It would protect me, would keep the dreams away.

" _Cariño..._ "

There was a deep sigh, almost as if in defeat, and the blankets that had been carefully tucked over me shifted.

The bed suddenly dipped behind me under a much heavier weight and I wiggled backwards, sighing blissfully as I was wrapped in a warm embrace. I nuzzled the hand close to my face, murmuring happily, and felt an answering kiss placed behind my ear before I fell back into a deep, heavenly sleep.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (I'm not even sure anymore, I apologize)**

 _No puedes dejarme. ¡No lo permitiré! -_ You cannot leave me. I won't allow it!

 **Okay, I know you all be like "whaa? She be sleeping her life away!" but a quick recap: lots of stress prior to timetravel, additional stress caused from said timetravel, severely dehydrated along with even _more_ stress, extremely high fever, and blood loss are all extraordinarily taxing to the system, plus she was fairly sleep deprived _before_ all this went down. So, yeah, she gonna be sleeping a lot. This should begin to even out shortly, though, so chillax, mah peeps.**

 **How'd you all like that clearing of the air? :D  
Poor Salazar. He...got more of a shock than he expected when all this went down. But had a little bit of cuddling to help make up for that. Cuddling makes everything better!** **  
**


	47. Chapter 47

***laughs sheepishly* I so totally meant to upload this yesterday...yeah, that didn't happen. But it took less time that I thought it would to get this together! Yay! Now if only the next part would stop giving me trouble. I swear, after this spot, it's nothing but smooth sailing for several chapters. If only I could just...get...there!**

 **Why does it always seem like the closer one is to a goal, the more content there is between A and B? Like, who said this was okay?**

* * *

When I awoke again, I didn't feel quite so much like trash, though I wasn't anywhere near a hundred percent. I was still in the infirmary bed, and was alone, not a soul in sight except the other men lying silent and still as they recovered.

I knew for certain that I'd been keeping Altivo company when I'd fallen asleep. But the bed I was in now was my own.

 _What...how?_

The more I strained to remember, the more I began to vaguely recalled being held.

In that case...who had I been cuddling with?

I struggled to recall, but the only thing I could recall was warmth and firm muscle against my back. I rubbed my nose against the pillow as I labored to piece my memory together, then stilled when the motion elicited an aroma of spice and tobacco embedded in my pillow.

A familiar aroma that lit warm little tingles all throughout my body.

 _Had I been cuddling with…Armando?_

Would the captain of the _Silent Mary_ even _do_ something that out of the ordinary? Not to mention I knew it was beyond improper, but…

Sure, he'd become a lot less rigid, less aloof, even before I'd almost died. But was such a thing even remotely possible?

 _Well, he'd been laying on my pillow long enough to rub his scent in it, so I guess so…?_

I shook my head vigorously, then swore under my breath when it made my brain whirl sickeningly.

 _Bad idea, bad idea,_ bad _idea!_

Closing my eyes, I swallowed down the nausea. I needed to think, my thoughts a turbulent hurricane as I tried to sort out everything that had happened, but whatever I had been forced to swallow continued to make my head thick and fuzzy. Still, I waded through the maelstrom best I could, every thought tinged with the faint, bitter knowledge that I was going to be off the _Mary_ soon.

I wasn't sure why my mind was focusing on that, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt sick.

The hard click of boots warned me that I was no longer alone. When I turned to look at who it was, my breath stuttered to a halt in my throat at the sight of Salazar striding purposefully towards me, the proud stature of the naval officer he was blindingly resplendent in his uniform, the strong, proud features of his Spanish lineage, the flash of warm light in his eyes when he saw that I was awake.

The longer I stared at him, the more I was beginning to realize just how handsome he was. And those well-polished boots he always wore were a _very_ powerful turn-on.

 _What is it about a man in boots? And this one should be illegal in them. There's no way he should be allowed to wear boots and look that good!_

I could feel my face warm, but I still managed to smile at him as he drew closer, probably happier to see him than I should have been, but I didn't care.

I couldn't bring myself to care that he'd broken my door down and scared me half to death with his fury. I was just too damned glad to see his gorgeous face.

Movement caught my attention and I suddenly realized that Lesaro had accompanied him, but I'd been too busy gawking at Salazar to even notice.

But Lesaro had noticed, and shot me a small smirk at my obliviousness, which only made me blush harder and make a face at him. He only gave me a nod and turned to talk quietly to one of the other men still recovering from their wounds.

Salazar continued towards me until he stopped by the bed, staring down at me with an unfathomable expression.

I blinked a few times, my mind still a bit fuzzy. Whatever he'd forced down my throat was playing havoc with my ability to think clearly and I didn't much care for it. "Hello."

" _Hola_ , _señorita_." His expression didn't change, but that greeting hadn't sounded like he'd spent the night cuddled next to me.

I blinked again, wondering if he was still upset with me for not staying in his cabin. But his expression gave nothing away. "What I'd miss?"

Shifting his weight to one leg, his graceful fingers absently rubbed the hilt of his rapier as he ignored my question. "How do you feel?"

My elation began to fade.

 _What's going on?_

"My head feels fuzzy and I can't move my leg without setting it on fire, but other than that, not so bad," I said, wariness coloring my tone as I finally realized what seemed off.

The man standing before me wasn't Armando.

And _el_ _Matador del Mar_ would not take kindly to me calling him by his first name.

" _Bien_. That is good." Salazar fell silent, sharp eyes skimming over my prone form as I mutely struggled to subdue the sudden lance of pain in my chest.

I _missed_ Armando.

But I wasn't surprised by the sudden coolness. I had assumed that his permission to call him Armando was a temporary one, brought on by concern. It seemed I had assumed correctly.

I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the tightness in it. It wouldn't do to burst into tears now. "Thank you, _Capitán,_ for saving me. Again."

He only nodded in reply, his gaze lingering on my leg, but his eyes seemed slightly unfocused, as if he was remembering something.

The ache grew when he didn't correct me, didn't even acknowledge the change in address.

I couldn't help but notice he was keeping most of his weight off his bad leg. "Are you alright?"

His gaze snapped to mine, losing the unfocused look, and he straightened imperceptibly. "I am well as can be. Rest, _señorita_. You have much strength to recover, especially if you intend to resume your foolish behavior."

And with those cutting words, Salazar spun on his heel and strode away to talk in curt tones with Magda.

I gaped after him, stunned and more than a little hurt.

 _Welp, I guess that answers the question of whether or not he's still mad at me._

My brain suddenly pinged a reminder and I sat up, ignoring the pinch of pain in my leg as my eyes frantically scanned over the bed in front of mine.

Altivo was still there, appearing to be deeply asleep.

I strained my ears, trying to hear if his breathing was still raspy, but I couldn't tell. He seemed to be more at peace, though, and that made me relieved.

There was movement at the corner of my eye and I looked to see Magda moving towards me, something I couldn't make out in his hands.

My concern immediately snapped from Altivo to me. At least Altivo was asleep.

"What is that?" I asked warily, already having been subjected to enough medieval medical treatments to last me a lifetime. It was bad enough without any painkillers, but at least whatever I kept being forced to drink seemed to do the trick, even if it left my brain feeling like it was melted into slush.

"Salt, for your leg. It will help it to heal," Magda started, then lunged to grab my ankle as I instantly rolled towards the other side of the bed.

Yelping when my escape was thwarted, I shook my head as Magda pushed me back down. "No! No, please, it'll make it burn-"

"It'll burn worse if I have to cut off your leg," he snapped, glaring at me with an expression that rivaled Salazar's in ferocity. "I'll be as quick and gentle as possible, or does the _capitán_ have to sit on you?"

I hesitated, glancing frantically at Salazar to see he was watching us from the other side of the infirmary, brow drawn into a scowl. No, I didn't want him over here. Not right now.

Swallowing thickly, I looked up at Magda, who was still glowering at me. "Alright…I'll cooperate."

 _It can't hurt much worse than heartache, can it?_

Breathing through my nose seemed to help as Magda tugged at the bandage, inspecting his handiwork. I had yet to see it clearly, but I recalled the tugging feeling of stitches, and squeezed my eyes shut.

"I am impressed. There is very little irritation …" he muttered in Spanish for a moment as I felt him gently pressing around the cut, gritting my teeth as sickly pain spiked into my bones.

"God _damn_! Can you _not_ poke at it? It already fucking hurts enough with you adding to it!" I snapped, pain evaporating my patience.

Instead of biting a retort, Magda's voice was calm as he replied, "I need to ascertain how well it is healing. Where did you learn about that…what did you call it?"

"Sterilize. You sterilized the needle to remove bacteria, reducing risk of infection-" Air hissed between my teeth as I felt the burn suddenly increase tenfold, fire pulsing in nauseating waves up and down my leg.

"What…happened…to the doctor?" I panted, desperate for anything to distract me from the fire searing my nerves.

"He was killed by crossfire," Magda answered, fingers cool and soothing against the pain scorching my muscle as he wiped away all the excess salt. I couldn't even tell if he'd rubbed it in or what. All I felt was pain.

My eyes closed as I collapsed to lay awkwardly on the bed, half twisted so that Magda could still access my leg. "So how'd you…end up…being in here?"

"I am _la Maria's_ formal doctor. _Señor_ Talío was stationed for training and experience before he would have been transferred. While he was here, I was temporarily relieved of my usual duties. That is why you never saw me in the infirmary." Magda's voice was calming and greatly helped to center the nauseating tilting of the room.

"I never would have guessed you were a doctor." My words came out in a wheezing sigh as he smeared something cool on my burning skin.

"Why? Because I am not what you expected?"

Trying to string together my thoughts was like straining thick mud through a sieve. I just shrugged one shoulder, unable to come up with a decent answer.

"Almost done. Tell me about this sterilizing." His movements were practiced and efficient as he replaced the bandage with a fresh one.

My strength was draining fast. _Scarily_ fast. I spoke quickly, my words pouring out in a jumbled rush. "It removes contaminates that would be harmful to the body, like bacteria and debris. In truth, everything should be sterilized before putting into contact with someone injured, but probably not feasible during triage."

I buried my face into the pillow, trying to draw as much comfort as I could from the lingering traces of Armando's smell.

"I am finished. You did well, Isabeau," Magda said softly, stroking a comforting hand over my hair. "Rest if you can."

I could only whimper in reply, wishing that Armando was here giving me comfort instead. It wouldn't have stopped the pain, but it'd go a long way to distract me from it.

Whines whispered under my breath as I tried to surf through the pain emanating in sickening waves from the irritated site. It felt horribly like salt was still in it, but I knew Magda had washed it thoroughly, and salt made open wounds _burn_.

I heard boots on wood moving closer, but I had no desire to see who it was. I didn't look up, just pressed my face deeper into the pillow in the hopes that whoever it was would take the hint and go away.

The boots paused, hesitating for a second, then moved away.

Even as I cursed my stupidity, I strained to try and discern if I could hear the jingle of medals, but there was too much background noise.

So I laid there, nose buried in my pillow as I tried to soak in Armando's scent, and wished I could be less hopeful.

It was stupid to hope for the impossible.

 **xxxxx**

It was a short time later when I awoke from a catnap and found Lady BeKatt perching daintily on the edge of my bed, an expression of extreme discomfort on her face. Her gown was a clean one, the other probably having been torn and bloodied probably beyond repair, and I could see the bandages under the neckline and wrapped around her arm.

 _Aw, man...I so don't wanna deal with this now._

I warily sat up and leaned against the wall, wondering what she was going to say. Wondering a lot of things since the last time I'd spoken with her, she'd cracked me across the face and I'd almost ripped her throat out.

An unpleasant feeling suddenly twisted in my chest at recalling her in Salazar's arms being carried past me, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to let that go. It felt like almost like jealousy, except…more violent.

 _Like a fucking dog in a manger here. We can't have him, therefore nobody can either? What the fuck? What happened to the 'plan'? The one where we left him alone, because there was no way in hell we could match up to a force of nature?_

 _Salazar happened, that's_ what.

And I wouldn't deny that despite my best intentions, despite my denials, I couldn't control how I felt. I knew I was contradicting myself at every turn, but I was trying my best to remain firm.

Though with the withdrawal back into impersonal propriety, remaining firm probably wouldn't be an issue.

Hands folded in her lap, Lady BeKatt stared down at her entwined fingers for another long, uncomfortable minute before finally speaking.

"It seems I owe you a debt of gratitude…and an apology. This is the second time you have saved my life. And I have done nothing to repay you but treat you with rancor and inexcusable behavior." She swallowed, a pained look twisting across her features before it settled into remorse as she continued quietly. "I…apologize. I am not…used to people doing things for others without expecting something in return. Yet you have done nothing to ask for your favors repaid."

 _You could repay me by leaving him alone! You can't have him!_

I blinked, surprised at the sheer intensity of animosity and possessiveness digging its claws in my chest, then quickly wrestled it back under its rock.

Lady BeKatt continued to speak, yanking me out of my startling thoughts.

"You saved me, again…" she swallowed again, then exclaimed, "Why? Why would you risk your life to endanger yourself for someone who's treated you like an animal?"

Complete befuddlement scrunched her eyebrows together, and I could hear what sounded like tears clogging her throat.

I licked my lips as I pulled my thoughts together, my leg slowly beginning to throb the longer I was awake. _Why couldn't painkillers be a thing yet?_ "Because I couldn't just sit there and listen to you scream. I…can only imagine what would've happened if I hadn't…" I inhaled sharply, not particularly wanting to think about everything that had happened. "I don't know why. I really don't. I wasn't even thinking, I just…I just knew you needed help."

She huffed a watery snort and I couldn't help a grin slightly at her completely unladylike manner.

"You only came to my aid because I needed help? I don't believe that."

My grin faded, along with my flair of hope at her change in demeanor. "If you don't believe me, that's your choice. I didn't help you so that you would owe me. If that was the case, then I'd still have a favor to collect from when you were almost mutilated on the pirate ship."

Lady BeKatt's face paled my words, and I wondered if she'd tried to forget about that ugly episode.

" _Do_ you intend to collect?" Her voice was sharp, fingers clenching the material of her skirts.

I rolled my eyes a little as I said, "No. I don't. And if you're worried about me using it as leverage, you can pay me back by being a better person. Deal?"

I was in too much pain to lessen the snap in my tone, but I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. If being rude made her impromptu visit shorter, so be it. I could apologize later. But life was too short to hold grudges. It took too much energy I already didn't have to be spiteful and hold it over her head.

"Very well." Coolness settled on her face and she seemed to ponder on something for a moment, then asked calmly, "What is between you and the _capitán_?"

Caught completely off guard by the unexpected question, I gave her a look of complete confusion. "What do you mean?"

Lady BeKatt shifted slightly, then winced as she moved her injured arm to place both hands in her lap. "I have seen the _capitán_ exhibit of oddly improper behavior where you are concerned. And I know Americans often think that affection or love," her face automatically wrinkled in distaste before it smoothed into contriteness, "overcomes all. But that is not always the case. If he were to marry, he would need a respectable wife, or an advantageous match. At the very least, one that can win him political gain. And I do not wish to say this, but you are neither respectable nor advantageous."

It took me a moment to realize what on earth she was talking about, and another moment as the thought of marriage skipped circles in my mind. Then the memory of Salazar not even looking my direction snapped me back on track.

 _Thank you for depressing me further. Really needed that._ Sarcastically, I said, "But you are? And I'm sorry, but seeming how he's barely tolerating my existence at the moment, I think you have your facts a little crossed."

Her face darkened with a faint frown and ignored my last comment. "As an ambassador's daughter, I have many sought after connections. My former husband also was not without power. Between the two of us, it would be obvious as to which would be the better choice."

I couldn't believe I was saying this, but I didn't resist the words that tripped over my tongue. "Call me hopeless, but what about feelings? Chemistry? _Capitán_ Salazar is already powerful enough to be able to marry who he wants, for whatever reason he wants. Not just to be dictated by the requirements of furthering his legacy."

I wanted to snort at my naiveté. It practically sounded like _I_ wanted to marry the man. Which was the furthest thing from the truth, especially with the latest development of said Spaniard now completely avoiding me.

Quickly shoving the disconcerting thought of marriage aside, I twisted and pushed backwards against the wall to stretch my leg more. "As far as I know, he's not nobility. He doesn't have a family line to continue. All of his prestige is military. Sure, he could marry for moving up the ranks, but he doesn't strike me as the type to be happy sitting at a desk. And what of your own goal? Do you really want to marry a man who doesn't love you?"

Lady BeKatt's expression seemed almost pitying, as if she'd heard the thoughts I dared not even voice to myself. "Isabeau, I know you don't want to hear this, but a man like that would never see a girl like you other than a…a dalliance. And _Capitan_ Salazar would give any woman he married respect, regardless of love. Sometimes that has to be enough."

The pity made my hackles raise, as did the almost patronizing words that I was too naïve for this world. "You apparently haven't studied your intended very well, then. He has too much honor to 'dally' with someone who isn't playing the same game. And somehow, I doubt he's going to want to simply "respect" his wife. But if you think you stand any more of a chance than I do, go for it. Give it your best shot. Because I'll bet that you won't fare any better than I would."

"At least marriage to me would be practical," she snapped, her back straightening into a rigid line, pity thankfully vanishing from her face. "You should stop living in a dream world where everyone lives happily ever after."

"At least I'm not a salty old bat who walks around looking like she's sucking a lemon," I shot back. "And for the record, I'm a _realist._ I don't believe in happily ever after. I don't even believe in happy endings. I think that we should all make the most of our lives before the universe fucks us over. So you'll excuse me if I indulge in a little fantasizing before my life gets flushed down the drain."

I was tired, in pain, frustrated, annoyed, and just downright sick of life. Not the dark, depressing 'sick' like last time, thankfully, but the kind that made my patience sliver-thin and in no mood to deal with someone raining on my already drenched parade.

"You are one of the rudest and possibly the most ill-mannered girls I have ever had the ill fortune to meet," she sniffed disdainfully, the snobby British peer making a royal comeback.

I was less than impressed. "No shit, Sherlock. And if you think I'm rude now, you should see me when I'm having a _really_ bad day." I could only imagine her horror if I unleashed the full onslaught of my fairly extensive swear vocabulary on her tender, untainted ears. The thought brought a great deal of relish.

I blew a breath, knowing I was taking my bitterness out on her when she was, for the most part, only telling the truth. "Look, I'm tired, and in pain. I accept your apology, and right now, I just want to be left alone. So please go away before I call you something I'll regret later." _And take your unwanted criticism with you._

I figured saving her life allowed at least a little bit of rudeness, and at the moment, I was too irritated to care that I was being rude.

 _So sue me. At least she isn't lamed and undergoing enforced bed rest._

Lady BeKatt sprang to her feet and whirled to stomp off, but suddenly paused before she reached the end of my bed. "My name is Lillianna."

I stared at her retreating figure until she turned the corner around the doorway. Her parting words had been soft, so quiet I'd almost missed them. But I hadn't, and they eased the stinging, bitter tangle of my emotions.

If only my memories were so easily pacified.

* * *

 **Don't worry, the emotional backslide doesn't last long, I _promise._ He's just making a last-ditch effort to be stubborn. The man better get a move on, though, before Isabeau finally decides that she'd be better off without him. **

***snickers* As if he'd ever let _that_ happen...And as soon as he realizes that, good things will happen!**

 **And despite what it sounded like, Lady BeKatt _did_ have good intentions, she's just...misreading the situation a bit.**


	48. Chapter 48

**I know, I said two chapters a week and I am so sorry for the delay. But I hit a brick wall both in story and in life, and was basically going crazy. Lots of hectic things going on at work, like 'beginning to think about a new job' level of hectic, and then this stonewalling, and...well, it was ugly. So, interesting thing about this chapter; it really freaked me out. Like, I was completely lost with it. Two seconds away from torching it with the flamethrower and starting again. It had elements I liked, but for the most part, it was soon to become a victim of the 'crazy'. So before I started toasting marshmallows, I had someone give me a second opinion.**

 **And, well, they changed my outlook on this entire chapter. So thank you, Piratesangel. I'm completely serious about what I said. :)**

 **Also, Reíno was very unexpected. He just insinuated himself mid-chapter, giving it what I felt it was missing, and I have no idea why I didn't think to add him before... *shakes head***

 **Must also apologize if it seems a bit forced, rushed, or inconsistent. This'll probably be one of the chapters that gets a makeover when I do my mass overhaul, but for now, let's continue the story!**

* * *

"Will he be okay?" I asked worriedly, concerned that Altivo hadn't woken up since that one night. I couldn't keep track in here. Magda had said that it was only the next day, so I was relieved that I hadn't fallen asleep for days on end again, but how was I supposed to stay sane until he let me crawl out of here? It wasn't like I had much to distract myself from the memories lurking at the back of my mind.

Magda examined the nasty cut under the bandages on the man's stomach with a frown. "I won't lie. If this doesn't become infected, he still has a long recovery. But it is good he is resting peacefully. That was my worst concern. All I have strong enough to keep him asleep during his fits is morphine."

Morphine, if I remembered correctly, was a nasty business of addiction and overdose if it wasn't utilized carefully. I was glad that Magda wasn't especially drug-happy.

"Thank you, _Señorita_ Isabeau."

I shrugged self-consciously, giving Magda a rueful smile as he walked towards my bed. "All I did was keep him company for a short while."

He placed a solemn hand on my shoulder. "Sometimes, that is enough. Do not underestimate a man's desire to keep living if he knows he is not alone."

I was silent for a second, then asked quietly, "That little girl…will her family find out what happened to her?"

Magda's jaw flickered before he sighed slightly, a weariness crossing over his face as if he'd seen this too many times before. And perhaps he had. "The _capitán_ will note the coordinates of the ship, and when he reaches port, will make efforts to find which ship was sailing the vicinity, and the passenger rosters. He will make sure her family knows."

I nodded slowly that I understood, remembering with uncomfortable intensity the trembling body I'd held close, the unsteady breaths feathering over my throat…

" _Dios,_ we were lucky."

I blinked, the sudden words pulling me from my memories. I gaped up at Magda, unsure if I'd heard him right. "Lucky?"

He nodded. " _Sí_. We only lost three, and only a few serious wounds."

Staring, I asked weakly, "What is…unlucky?"

When his face immediately darkened, I wished I'd kept my mouth shut.

Magda's demeanor became ice. "Unlucky is when you are serving aboard a vessel that has an inept _capitán_ , untrained sailors, and sailing straight into an obvious trap with no concern for loss of life. Unlucky is watching a boy barely yet twelve bleed to death under your hands because he's missing his legs from the knee down from a gunpowder explosion. Unlucky is seeing the bodies pile up under bloody rags and simply stacked against the wall to make room for more butchered men to scream their dying breaths until they're dumped on top of the rest like kindling for a fire."

My ears flexed back and I reached out, snagging a finger on his uniform cuff. Magda blinked down at me, the cold shadows fading slightly as he let me tug him forward and slide my arms around his waist.

I rested my cheek against his sternum and felt him take a deep breath as he finished, "Unlucky is watching that same, inept _capitán_ be awarded for his bravery, while the blood of dozens of men is still rust red under your fingernails."

Arms moved around my shoulders and a hand smoothed over my hair as he let me hug him. Slowly, I felt tense muscles relax.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, wishing there was something I could do to offer him more.

I didn't realize that I'd said that last out loud until Magda sighed and said, "You _are_ doing something, Isabeau. Sometimes, we concentrate so hard on things like honor and loyalty and duty that we forget the simple things that make it worth fighting for. Like the pleasure of home. The smell of someone cooking. A comforting embrace."

He squeezed me tighter to emphasize his point, then clasped my arms and pushed back with the lightest of pressures.

I let go and was a little confused when Magda didn't release his grip, instead leaning down slightly, a slight frown furrowing between his brows.

With a short inhale, he murmured quietly, "Isabeau, do not give up on the _capitán_. He is a difficult man to understand, but _por favor_ , do not give up on him."

When I simply blinked up at quizzically, one corner of his mouth lifted up and he straightened, letting go of my arms.

"Remember what I said."

I could only stare at his back as he walked away, wondering what on earth he was talking about. Unless…he'd overheard me and Lady BeKatt?

But what was he talking about, me giving up on Salazar?

I shook my head, then moaned at the sickening whirl of my head afterwards. If I didn't know any better, I'd start thinking that the blasted man could read my mind. It was the only thing that made sense.

Maybe I'd ask him later and see if he could put my thoughts in order for me.

I slowly laid back down on the bed, stretching out my leg as I did. The throbbing made me wince, as did the occasionally flare of pain lancing up and down my leg, but it didn't seem as bad as it could have been.

Or maybe whatever Salazar had forced me to swallow had yet to wear off. Now _there_ was a scary thought.

As the day drew onwards, the other injured men began to awaken as well.

They were mostly in decent shape physically , the worst being a deep laceration on someone's shoulder from what I assumed was debris from a cannonball, and one was missing a few fingers, which I couldn't even begin to guess the cause of.

Mentally, for two of them, was a whole other beast.

There was one sailor, bandages wrapped thickly around his neck and upper chest on one side, had to be tied to his bed. He kept reaching for sharp implements if he wasn't.

Even from where I sat, several beds away, I could see the deadness in his face.

To my surprise, Roberto was down here too, flinching at every noise, a nasty burn across one shoulder.

Magda warned me to stay away from him, in case he accidentally tried to hurt me, but I still limped over to the bed next to his to softly converse with him, hoping I could help ease his agitation.

He visibly appreciated the company, and he didn't seem to mind in the slightest when I just wanted to listen to his stories, even when he started to repeat them.

It hurt to see him twitch at a bed creaking or a sudden shout from the deck above. During the quiet spells, I could catch glimpses of the joyful man who'd kept me company during my breaks at night, but just as quickly, those glimpses would flicker and disappear.

Not even Magda was quite sure what had happened, only knew it was an old memory, from before he was stationed aboard the _Silent Mary_. One he never recovered from, and one that tended to resurface after each skirmish.

I wondered how he was still allowed to serve on a military vessel with such a disability, but I didn't ask. I was just grateful I could see its hold on him fade bit by bit as time went on.

But there was a one moment, some late hour that night with no one around but Magda, when I saw Salazar standing next to Roberto's bed, talking with him quietly.

He wasn't unaware of the man's condition, that much was obvious. It was also obvious how much he cared about his crew. He knew Roberto was suffering from some degree of PTSD, one that should have discharged him from the Navy long ago, but Salazar still kept him aboard the _Silent Mary_.

Even as I squeezed my eyes shut against a wave of pain that had nothing to do with my leg, I was glad to see how much he cared about his men. It reminded me that he was human, with a human's strengths and weaknesses.

After I heard Salazar leave, making sure not to give into the need to glance at him, to see his face, I couldn't help but be a little relieved, deep down, that he had stepped back.

I didn't know if it was permanent or not, but I took the opportunity to reassert some important things. First of all, that despite being a slightly disreputable port, Salazar had stated that I was going to be disembarking, and if I was willing, to be sent to Spain under his protection.

I still had yet to decide if I was willing to take him up on his offer or not, but I didn't particularly have much of a choice. If I did, I'd rather have stayed on the _Mary_ , and be dropped off where he'd originally said he was going to leave us, but between the additional, unexpected consumption of supplies by two more people, and more encounters with pirates, he had apparently revised his decision.

Another important thing that I needed to remind myself was that no matter what I thought I was experiencing, though I desperately hoped I was mistaken about what I suspected, Salazar already had someone he was involved with.

I stubbornly ignored the niggling questions about his conduct if that was indeed the case. I didn't have the answers and I wasn't about to ask the man outright.

 _How can I be so_ stupid _as to keep forgetting that?_

I snorted wryly. Stupid was exactly how I felt at the moment.

My eyes slid closed, and I pretended not to feel the tear sliding down my cheek.

 **xxxxx**

I slowly came awake to the murmur of voices, a little disoriented until I realized I was still in the infirmary. _Good grief. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. Gonna spend the rest of my life sleeping at this point. At least the nightmares don't seem to be coming back._

Leaning up, I saw another officer, one I didn't recognize, was talking quietly with Altivo, who had finally woken up. The man glanced up when I carefully reached for the refilled water pitcher.

I was surprised by the harsh lines on the man's face, bitter lines of cold, almost reptilian, severity. I was also surprised by the sheer hostile suspicion that was aimed my way, especially since I'd barely glimpsed the man the entire time I'd been aboard the Spanish warship.

His eyes narrowed at me and I gave him a look of bewilderment in response before drinking my water, hoping he'd ignore me and go back to talking with Altivo.

After the last few days, I just wanted to curl up in the cool shadows under my bed and stay out of trouble.

Soon as I was done with my water, I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow, my head still frustratingly fogged.

With a deep breath, I reminded myself to be calm. Between almost dying twice, blood loss, and probably an aftereffect of whatever I'd drunk, it would probably take a little while before I felt up to snuff.

A sickly throbbing was taking up in my leg, pulsing in time with my heartbeat. My breathing grew heavier as I tried to ignore it, tried to focus on something long enough to either fall asleep again or my leg to fall off.

But it was only a short while later when I heard boots clicking across the floor towards my bed, and I groaned inwardly.

 _Aw, come on! I don't need this right now._

"A word, _Señorita_."

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I opened my eyes at the disdainful utterance of what should have been a polite term. Instead, it came out sounding more like a condescension.

Slowly sitting up, wincing as I aggravated my leg, I reluctantly met the officer's steely scowl. "Can I help you, _Señor_?"

I'd never used the term in the entirety of my voyage aboard the _Mary_ , but something about this man made me want to be polite, even if I couldn't help the slight tinge of contempt.

He didn't miss it either, judging from the hardening of his gaze. "I understand, _señorita_ , that you had been attending to _Señor_ Altivo during his recovery. I ask that you refrain from bestowing your tender mercies upon an already gravely injured individual. After all, we wouldn't anything to... _happen_."

To any passerby, it might have sounded simply like he was concerned for my welfare. But from his tone and the almost cruel glint in his eyes, that wasn't what he was implying.

The question was, what exactly _was_ he implying?

"Anything like what, exactly?" I asked cautiously, wanting to make sure I got his point.

He shrugged one shoulder in a deceptively casual manner. "A great many things can happen in an infirmary, _señorita_ , especially with so many tools of medicine about. It would be unpleasant for someone of the weaker sex to, ah, _intend_ to help...and yet cause more harm than good through ignorance."

Now I understood. He was of the mind that because I was female, I was stupid. Fair enough. I was of the mind that because he was male, he was even more stupid.

Pain and cabin fever, unfortunately, greatly lessened his attempt at intimidation, but I kept my mouth shut. I had the feeling this was not a man to aggravate.

When I continued to simply watch him warily, the officer took a step closer, watching me in return with a disdainful air.

"Casillas."

At the sharp word, the officer smoothly arranged his face into an expression of faint surprise as he turned around to meet Magda's cool stare.

Not fooled, the higher-ranking officer asked something in Spanish, his tone acidic, to which the other man replied evenly, if somewhat reluctantly. Magda let the silence stretch to an uncomfortable edge, both of them standing at complete attention, before he jerked his head, indicating the man was dismissed.

The return salute was almost mocking, but when Magda's gaze grew icy in response, the man was quick to turn about and practically scurry away.

I curled my lip at the officer's retreating back, then looked over to see Magda sneering as well.

"Thank you." I hoped the man wouldn't have done anything, what with other sailors so close, but it was men like him that fueled my dread about being in this time.

"Casillas is…a fine officer. But he is…" Magda trailed off, searching for the right words.

"An asshole?" I suggested, glimpsing a slight smirk at my language

"He is difficult to trust at times," he said with a faint tilt of his head. "I do not think he will try anything, but I will inform the _capitán_ all the same."

I scoffed quietly. _As if Salazar would care_.

My mental voice smacked me upside the head. _You really think that he wouldn't? After as pissed as he was when he found you in your cabin? Seriously?_

A growl whispered under my breath, but I grudgingly admitted it was right.

"Thank you," I said again, quietly. Hopefully, I could manage to avoid the officer until port.

Magda laid a gentle hand on my arm, squeezing a little get my attention. When I looked up, he glanced pointedly towards the infirmary door. "Perhaps more friendly company would be welcome, hm?"

When I followed his gaze to the young man striding towards us, I squeaked happily and held out my arms.

Reíno laughed at me, but he quickened his pace until he was close enough to sit down on my bed, immediately enveloping me in a warm hug.

I heard Magda move away with a chuckle as I buried my face in Reíno's shoulder, so happy to see him I was on verge of tears.

Murmuring soft noises, Reíno stroked his hand over my hair, slowly rocking me back and forth as I leaned into him.

"Missed you." I snuggled closer, closing my eyes contentedly as he pressed his lips into my hair.

"You frightened ten years off my life, _chica_ ," he scolded, poking me in the ribs.

I yipped and pulled away to tug on his ear. "It's not like I did it on purpose, brat!"

Then I caught sight of the deep scratch at his temple. I sucked in a quick breath as I reached up and brushed my fingers over it. "You okay?"

Reíno's mouth quirked in a nasty grin. "I am far better than the _cabrón_ who failed to knife me."

Disturbed by seeing that look on his face, I smoothed my thumb between his brows until it faded away. "I'm glad you're safe…"

There was an odd shadow in his eyes for a second, then he blew out a breath and gave me a smile. "You spend too much time worrying over everyone else that you forget to worry for yourself."

I made a face. "I'm fine!"

"You almost weren't," he shot back. "If it hadn't been for the _capitán_ , what do you think would have happened?"

"Okay, that muleheaded lump already berated me enough, I don't need your two cents, boyo."

We glared at each other for a second, before Reíno suddenly slid me a sly smirk. "I heard that there were some… _intimate_ moments between you and the _capitán_?"

Embarrassingly enough, my face flushed and I stammered a few seconds before I got my tongue working. "T-t-there was nothing _intimate_ , you can just-just bugger off!"

His smirk grew a little wider at my stutter. "Ah, so he _didn't_ sleep next to you last night? Hm?"

I started to retort, then snapped my mouth shut, blushing a little as when I couldn't come up with a suitable comeback. I'd begun to think I'd just dreamed being held against a warm, masculine form, but apparently not…

He chuckled, then ruffled my hair, making me growl. "I think even the _teniente_ is tired of watching you two dance around each other. If you're not careful, he might take it upon himself to…ah, _help_."

I tossed my head, dislodging his hand from my hair, and sniffed derisively. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Unphased, he simply grinned at me in response, and poked my nose. "Lie to me if you must, but we both know that's not true."

My narrowed gaze bounced off his cheerfulness. "How old are you?"

Surprised by my unexpected question, he blinked in bemusement and a faint ruddiness tinged his ears. "I am one and twenty. Why?"

I was caught off guard a little at how young he was, but I quickly remembered that people aged far quicker in this time.

Lacing my fingers together, I stretched them out with a smirk, making every knuckle pop in what I knew was an intimidating gesture. "You're pretty smug for someone who's younger than I am."

Reíno's jaw dropped a little before he managed to catch himself. "And much older are you?"

My smirk widened at his forced nonchalance. "Four years, cinnamon roll. Or should I say, 'kiddo'?"

I burst into laughter when his face dropped into a sullen pout, making Magda glance over from his desk. He shook his head at us and went back to his reports.

"So what brings you down here? Or are you just checking to make sure I'm still in one piece?" I asked teasingly, all but forgetting about Casillas with the pure joy of seeing Reíno again.

Reíno's sulk morphed into a small smile. "I had wondered how you fared...and I missed your company."

I smiled back, then sniffed the air, wondering why I smelled something sweet. "I missed you too, Reíno. You have no idea how glad I am that you're not down here."

My hair suddenly fell in my eyes and I raked it back in annoyance, grimacing at the greasy feel of the strands. "What do you think the chances of me talking Magda into letting me wash up are?"

Dubiously, he glanced over me, then at the officer quietly tucked away in the corner, watching of his patients. "Not good?"

I wrinkled my nose. I didn't even want to know what I looked like. And I knew I smelled. Sweat, blood, and not bathing was enough to make anyone stink.

Reíno shot me a concerned glance when I suddenly groaned and dropped my face in my hands. "Are you alright?"

I waved a hand at him, too mortified to actually voice my realization. _Salazar had slept next to me...and I stink to high heaven. Is it too late for this to all be a nightmare and I'm already in hell?_

"Ah, I brought something for you." He fumbled in his coat and pulled out a small bundle from an inside pocket before placing it in my lap. "Miguel made sure I gave this to you as soon as I could."

Curious, I unwrapped the cloth and froze, almost completely distracted as I stared at the mantecados. For some stupid reason, the sight made my vision blurry.

Reíno eyed me nervously when I sniffled and leaned away from me a bit. " _Por favor_ , don't cry. Officer Magda will have my hide if I made you cry."

I laughed a little wetly before slowly picking one up and biting into it carefully, the delicious sweetness exploding on my tongue. A moan rippled in my throat as I savored the treat, then inhaled the rest of it. "I think he'd forgive you if I shared these with him. Thank you so much."

I sniffled again, beyond grateful to the wonderful cook, and hoped Salazar knew Miguel was worth his weight in gold. Quietly, I shared the treats with Reíno, setting aside a couple for Magda. I was still felt extremely embarrassed, but I was trying to remind myself that it was like I'd fallen to this state on purpose.

As we ate, a curious thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Reíno?"

He made an inquisitive noise as he polished off his last mantecado.

I chewed my lip for a second, then quietly asked, "Were you afraid of me? When I was first brought aboard the _Mary_?"

I was almost too focused on his watchful expression to catch his hand inching towards the remaining mantecados, but I smacked his hand away before he managed to grab another. "Don't even think about it. These are for Magda and you know it!"

"Ow!" Reíno wrinkled his nose at me as he rubbed his hand, then dropped it in his lap with a sigh. "Truthfully, I was…at first. I think a great many of the crew were. You were wearing garb we had never seen before, and covered in blood…I think even the _capitán_ was leery of you. There was whispers of returning you to the pirate hulk, but neither the _capitán_ nor the _teniente_ would hear of it. In fact, before I was assigned to watch you, it was the _teniente_ who stood at your door."

That surprised me. I never would have suspected that Lesaro had stood guard, what with the acerbic way he'd treated me when I'd woken up.

Reíno saw my surprise and nodded. "And yes, I protested when the _capitán_ assigned me to you. I thought…in the very beginning…I'm not sure what I thought. But when I saw you sleeping, bruises marring your skin, I was…"

He dropped his gaze, staring at his open hands, unexpectedly looking like he'd committed some terrible crime.

I chirped inquisitively and leaned forward to headbutt his arm. I hadn't meant to bring up such apparently dark memories...

His throat worked until finally, he whispered, "Ashamed. I was _ashamed,_ to have been so frightened of a young woman, who'd been beaten so badly. And I vowed I would keep you safe as long as I could."

Suddenly, he clenched his hands into fists, the bitterness morphing into a flare of anger. "And even aboard the mightiest vessel in the Caribbean, I _failed_!"

"Reíno!" Alarmed, I lurched to my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, nuzzling in his hair as I squeezed him tight, feeling breath rattle shakily through his frame.

 _Oh, Reíno…I'm so sorry…_

Quickly, I searched for something to jolt him out of his gloom, then perked up even as I cringed a little. "Do you wanna hear a really, _really_ bad joke?"

"You want to tell a joke…now?"

I wrinkled my nose a little and shrugged, drawing back so that I could see his face. "Emotionally intense situations make me uncomfortable, so I tend to lighten them up with humor."

He gave a long-winded sigh and rolled his eyes, but his mouth tugged upwards a bit. "Very well. Do your worst."

"You asked for it," I said with a snicker. He had no idea what he was in for. "A Spaniard was doing a magic trick. He said 'uno, dos,' then disappeared without a trace."

Silence echoed for a second, then chuckles erupted in the room, bouncing off the walls. But to my surprise, they came from the bed across from mine.

Altivo chattered a few words in Spanish, then started cackling again.

Then Reíno joined in, his slim shoulders shaking under my arms as he snickered.

Roberto perked up from his bed, and at my motioning, shuffled over curiously. Reíno repeated the joke, and Roberto stared blankly for a few seconds, then burst into laughter.

I started giggling too. "See? I told you it was bad!"

Magda just shook his head again with a pained look as we all dissolved into laughter.

* * *

 **You know...I think this chapter has really grown on me. I'm surprised, especially with how unhappy I was with it originally. I'm not sure where I got the joke from, only that I was searching for something that would fit for a lot longer than I feel comfortable admitting.**

 **And I promise, Salazar's sexy arse will be returning full force in the next chapter. With head firmly reattached.**


	49. Chapter 49

***squee* Thank you for your reviews! I have to say, some of the things you guys say just crack me up to no end. And Chichi, remember how I'd said that some things are continuity issues? That *coughs* is, erm, one of them. *chuckles sheepishly***

 **Anyway, Salazar's back, and Isabeau will try and remain unmoved, but alas, Spaniards seem to have an innate ability to be charming. How long will our tenacious timetraveler be able to hold out? *smirks***

* * *

One more day and I'd finally had enough.

I could feel myself growing weaker without movement, exacerbating my frustration. Even though Reíno kept me company as much as he could, I couldn't take the enforced bedrest for long. And even after hard-won bath that greatly improved my state of mind, I was tired of doing nothing but slipping in and out of nightmares and staring at the ceiling.

Altivo was unsurprisingly a poor companion, usually spending the majority of his time sleeping, but at least he was resting peacefully, for which I was grateful. And his 'friend' hadn't visited once since Magda had all but kicked him out of the infirmary.

Salazar hadn't spoken to me after his last remark, and quite frankly, I missed the ass. Even when he was at his surliest, it was still better than being ignored, which only made me more upset.

Magda was another factor in my increasing irritation.

"No, for the last time, it is too soon! Your wound will tear and you will be right back in this bed!"

I snarled in response, hackles raising. "It's stuffy, sweltering, and it stinks in here, I need to move, and fresh air hasn't killed anyone yet!"

After my last attempt to slip past him and escape, Magda had forbidden me from leaving my bed, not even to visit Altivo. Roberto had been discharged earlier, so I was beyond bored out of my skull, and itching to do _something_.

The doctor threw up his hands in the air and chattered angrily in Spanish before switching back to English as he paced next to my bed. "You want to reopen your wound? You want to be carried down here with a trail of blood behind you again? Go ahead! I'll be here to stitch you back up! Apparently I have nothing better to do, you stubborn-"

Soon as his arm waved too close to my face, I lunged.

Pain lanced up my leg at the sudden movement, causing me to fall short of my target and my teeth snapped shut on empty air.

Magda paused mid-rant, staring down at me in disbelief.

I glared back mulishly. _Yes, yes I just tried to bite you, dickhead._

"Did…" he started, blinking and glancing at his unscathed hand. "Did you just…"

I rolled a snort up my throat and tossed my head before flexing my ears back and showing my teeth. What did I have to do to get _through_ to this man? "I need _out_ of this room. And if you'd take a fucking chill pill, you'd know that some movement would do me good, rather than lying in a pool of sweat and staring the ceiling. You _know_ this."

"Isabeau-"

"Magda, I'm about to go crazy," I pleaded, my frustration driving me to beg. "I'm so bored, I can't stand it. I'm tired of staring at the same walls, I'm tired of being down here. I already feel like I'm trapped by my leg, and I don't want to feel trapped in this room, too. _Please_! You said I'm healing well, there's no sign of infection, and staying constantly in bed will start to do more harm than good."

Magda inhaled deeply through his nose, closing his eyes as he thought for a long, tense moment.

Finally, just as I was about to lose hope, his eyes snapped open.

"Very well. _But_ I am assigning you an escort. This is _not_ debatable," he interjected with a quelling look as I opened my mouth to protest. "And it's not going to be Reíno either, whom you have wrapped around your finger. But you are right. You need to stretch your muscles, else they'll weaken. Wait here."

He whirled around and stalked towards one of the doors leading out of the infirmary before barking a word.

Sighing with relief, I flopped back against the pillow and tried to calm the growing itch to get up and _move_. If I was caught doing too much, I wouldn't put it past the doctor to tie me to the bed and leave me there until we reached port.

 _Sweet_ bouncing _baby monkeys, get me outta here!_

The word Magda had called turned out to be a name as another officer, one I'd seen before standing close by when Salazar was at the helm, but I'd never worked up the nerve for anything more than a polite nod of greeting.

Magda introduced the officer. "This is Officer Nico Cortez. He will be your escort while you are out of bed. And soon as you begin to tire, he will be your escort back _to_ _your bed_."

Cortez tensed and slid Magda a disdainful glance at the other man's words. I surmised the officer hadn't known what he was being called in here for.

I grumbled under my breath in similar irritation. _I'm not looking forward to this babysitting any more than you are, dude, but it gets me out of this fucking place, even if only for a little while._

With a stony expression, Cortez gave me a short bow, just enough to be polite. " _Señorita_."

I nodded back, unable to curtsy even if I wasn't lamed. "Officer Cortez."

We simultaneously glared at Magda unhappily, who had the audacity to look annoyed at the both of us. He pointed at me even as he addressed Cortez. "She is stubborn. Do not let her pull those stitches or overexert herself. Return her forcibly if need be-"

"Magda!" Exasperation made my voice louder than I'd intended and I quickly lowered it. "I'll come back as soon as I start to tire, I swear! You can stop fretting!"

Magda snapped his mouth shut at my outburst and whirled to me. "You listen to me, _señorita_ , you are injured and I will allow that you should move around some, but you have been known to do foolish things, and if I so much as catch word that you've-"

I gesticulated wildly in frustration, _still_ laying on this motherfucking bed, then reached out and grabbed Magda's arm to halt his sputtering. "Okay, _I'll_ be fine _,_ but _you_ need to take a deep breath and sit down before you have a coronary."

Magda switched to grumbling in Spanish, which I rolled my eyes at, before he snapped a few terse words to Cortez and stomped off to go plop in front of his desk.

I stared after him, taken aback by his suddenly overwhelming, almost smothering, behavior.

"He is forceful because he is concerned. He will calm down shortly."

I turned back to see Cortez gazing at me with a slightly less irritated air. He gestured to the door behind him. "You wish to leave?"

"Oh please, yes." I sighed gratefully. It was a struggle to get my legs underneath me, but Cortez was polite as he waited for me to hobble along.

"Magda," I called, waiting until I had the older man's attention before saying, "Thank you. For taking care of me. And for saving me."

He gave me a short nod that told me he was still unhappy, but his scowl had faded before he turned back to his paperwork.

Cortez still had the faint air of impatience, but he was polite enough not to voice anything out loud as I limped slowly out the door. I would have tried to relieve him of his distasteful duty, but I had a feeling I'd just be wasting my breath.

"I cannot recall seeing Officer Magda quite so upset over a patient," Cortez observed quietly, watching my movements keenly, ready to catch me if I started to fall.

 _Maybe because he saved this patient's life more than once?_ I blew a disgruntled snort but stayed silent, concentrating on my balance. Damned if I would be whisked back to my prison when I _just_ gained my freedom.

Pausing a second to reorient myself, I took a left and made slow, painful progress towards fresh air.

 **xxxxx**

Officer Cortez turned out to be as much of a nuisance as I'd thought he would. My apparent lack of propriety seemed to embarrass him and my refusal to cooperate and return to my bed frustrated him.

I'd managed to limp my way onto the main deck and was currently enjoying the refreshing coolness of a heavy misting of rain as it dowsed the _Mary_ , washing away the memory of blood and fire.

There were no waves, no wind, and I could see where the sail canvas had been rigged to catch the water into barrels, which I thought was neat.

I lifted my face to the slight spray that sprinkled under the stairwell where I was standing to stay dry, enjoying the sensation as it cooled the stickiness of my skin.

"We should return to the infirmary. You will catch ill in this weather."

Annoyance flashed as Cortez tried yet again to herd me back belowdeck.

"I'm not going back to bed," I ground out through clenched teeth. "I don't think you quite understand what happens when I get bored. Things get _very_ ugly."

"You are still too weak to be moving about as much as you have." Cortez glared at me as I ignored his highhanded comment, hobbling past him to keep moving, away from his nagging.

I was _so_ not going back yet, and it only angered me further when he tried to make it sound like I was some insipid little waif that didn't have any muscle mass. I was working stock, dammit, and I had the body to prove it.

"Yet again, I appreciate your concern, Officer Cortez, but unless you physically pick me up and carry me back to the infirmary, I'm not ready to leave just yet, thank you very m-oof!" I collided with a wall of muscle and heat, scrambling to get my legs underneath me at the sudden impact. My injured leg was too weak and refused to cooperate, and I would've gone down if strong hands hadn't suddenly gripped my arms to hold me upright.

It wasn't Officer Cortez. He didn't smell like sunshine tangled with tobacco and spice.

But I knew who did.

"Isabeau?" The soft, slightly confused murmur caught me off guard as I glanced up into dark chocolate eyes, staring at me in bewilderment, as if it seemed I'd been conjured out of thin air.

Then they narrowed in realization and I braced for another round of smothering.

" _Dios mío_ , I cannot believe that you are so foolish as to be up and running about-" Salazar started, brows furrowing in vexation, sounding for all the world as if he was genuinely worried about me. Which was rich, considering he hadn't bothered to acknowledge my existence the past few days.

"I'm _not_ 'up and running about'," I snapped back, cutting him off before he got too much steam, not pleased that his first words to me since his cold shoulder were ones so completely condescending. "Magda said the movement would do me good, and he gave me the green light, so long as I didn't overtax anything. Besides, it's bad enough I've got Officer Cortez pestering me nonstop! I don't need you hovering too!"

I could see Salazar's jaw rippling as I glared at him, the prospect of being forced to lay around in bed even more making me irritable. I jerked free of his grip and stepped away before I fell into his arms.

 _Arrogant, overbearing, insufferable_ asses _!_ Sure, I could barely walk, but I was damned if I was going to lay in that bed until I grew into it. I'd had enough of resting, and no amount of persuasion or demanding was going to put me back in bed until I was damned good and ready!

But bubbles of delight danced through my body at the sight of the towering man in front of me. It felt like years since I'd seen him last, and I hungrily drank in the sight of his face, even with its cross expression.

Apparently I wasn't doing such a good job of excising those feelings after all.

Salazar jerked his head and Officer Cortez snapped a bow, sliding me a disapproving frown before turning a corner and vanishing, leaving me alone with one big, irate Spaniard.

One who had no qualms about invading my personal space.

I jerked my attention back to Salazar as he stepped closer, trying to crowd me. "You are pushing yourself too hard, and someone needs to take you in hand."

My arms crossed over my chest and I shot him an indignant, mulish glare, refusing to be cowed as the gladness slowly dimmed. _'Take me in hand'? Who does he think he is?!_ "I'm _not_ pushing myself! And just what exactly do you think you're trying to do, Armando? Because in case you haven't noticed, you don't scare me anymore. I'm not about to roll over so you can run roughshod over me."

For a minute, we both stood there and stared at each other. I knew my will was no match for his, but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to go down without digging in my heels all the way.

Then suddenly, his mouth curved into a slow, wicked smirk, one that sent butterflies shivering through my stomach and made my breath shudder in my throat.

It was the same look he'd given me after our embrace in my cabin, when he'd kissed my hand. The same look as when I challenged him about being charming, and when he'd teased me about sleeping in his bed.

My heart skipped a beat and I knew it was dangerous as all hell, but _hot damn_ , he looked delicious!

"You called me Armando."

I blinked at his observation, startled to realize he was correct, then tried to brush it off. "Yeah? So?"

His eyes slid down to where my arms were crossed and I immediately realized my breasts were unbound, and my current posture was putting them nicely on display.

I hurriedly dropped my arms, trying not to be affected by the darkening of his gaze as his entire frame tensed.

His right hand suddenly flexed. "Very well. I accept your challenge."

"What?" My brain ground to a halt as Salazar sauntered towards me, the danger signals firing in warning were slowing down with each step he took.

Alarmed, I tried to stumble backwards, but I was too late.

He suddenly ducked, and I felt hard muscle carefully meet my stomach, a warm band of steel wrapping around my legs.

Next thing I knew, I was upside down into the air.

 _The! Fuck!_

He'd-he'd tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of _potatoes!_

I was so outraged and thunderstruck I could only manage an enraged stutter as I grabbed the back of his coat so I could have some sense of orientation.

" _Y-you-you-motherfucker_! Put me the fuck _down_!" I emphasized the last word with a hard fist to his back. I felt a twinge of guilt for hurting him, but he couldn't go around throwing me over his shoulder like I was a bag of rice!

But instead of putting me down like I'd expected, he only grunted at the impact, and then shifted me into a more secure hold. An arm was clamped firmly around the back of my thighs, his hand just a little too close to my rear for comfort. If he touched me there, I was gonna bite him, sexy _capitán_ or not!

"Listen here, asshole-"

I broke off in a growl as he patted my leg with a chuckle that I felt more than heard, chiding softly, "Language, _querida_. Language."

" _Armando_! I cannot _believe_ you! You ignore me for fucking _days_ , then sling me over your shoulder like a bag of feed?! Put. Me. _Down_!" I snarled and flailed wildly, trying to get him off balance enough that I could pry loose, but used to the roiling deck of his ship, he was more than sufficiently steady on his feet to withstand my weakened thrashing. His hand gripped my injured leg to make sure I didn't exacerbate it in my efforts.

"Calm down, Isabeau. You are only going to exhaust yourself." Salazar let me struggle, patiently waiting until I was tired enough to even let go of his coat, then started forward again.

" _God damn it._ " I panted as I lay draped over his muscular shoulder, vexed that I was worn out so quickly, but not surprised. I hadn't regained enough of my strength for these kinds of antics. "Fucking Spaniard."

A hum of displeasure vibrated through the massive frame underneath me, but other than that, Salazar let my comment slide.

I could have bitten him, true, and I could have hurt him to get free, kicking or using my elbows, but I didn't want to. He wasn't hurting me, and seemed careful to not be jostling as he strode along the corridors, wherever he was taking me.

It was hard to concentrate when my orientation was all sorts of fucked up, but I could appreciate the view from where I was hanging, though the breathlessness was from the shoulder in my stomach, that much I was sure.

A wicked thought flickered into existence as I watched him walk from upside down.

 _I wonder what his reaction would be if I was to grab his ass right now?_

Not that I'd ever do so, but it helped to calm more of my irritation to think about it.

Trying to distract myself from that disturbing thought, I grumbled, "I think I preferred being carried the other way."

"I can remedy that, if you wish."

The thought of how much easier it'd be for him to drop me flashed through my mind and I grabbed a fistful of thick broadcloth as Salazar started to shift his grip. "On second thought, never mind! It's harder for you to drop me this way, anyway."

He chuckled at my quick protest. "Ah, _querida_. You know I would not drop you. You're safe in my arms."

I ignored the delicious shiver that rippled down my spine at his husky words.

"You'll excuse me if I take that with a grain of salt. I remember what happened _last_ time you carried me," I managed to retort before I realized that antagonizing the man holding me almost six feet off the ground was probably not a good idea.

"As do I. And if I recall correctly, I did not drop you then," he returned smoothly.

"No, but you pretended to! Which is just as bad!"

Salazar clicked his tongue, but didn't answer, simply settled me more firmly on his shoulder and continued onwards.

I couldn't help but notice he had a lovely stride, nice and smooth, a bit long-legged, but it wasn't jarring. It made it easier not to feel like I had a wedge of muscle digging into my gut every time his weight shifted.

"What does _querida_ mean?" I asked reluctantly, since I was along for the ride anyway. He'd used that term more often since I'd woken up after the skirmish with the pirates and I admitted to being curious about what it meant.

I spread my fingers over his back to try and balance myself, and was surprised at the rush of arousal when I felt the play of his muscles even through the thickness of his coat.

The vibration that resonated through my torso as he hummed thoughtfully didn't help matters any. "There are multiple translations, depending on the context in which it is used. 'Darling' would be the most accepted."

 _Waitwhat? Did I hear that correctly?!_

Frowning skeptically, I flexed upwards via propping my elbows between his shoulder blades. "Wait a minute. _What_ have you been calling me?"

"Hush. _Tranquilícese."_ He ignored my question and tightened his hold on my legs, as if expecting me to start thrashing again.

At the moment, I was too stunned to struggle. _Dafuq is going on here?!_

Odd little tingles danced over my skin at the realization that he was calling me 'darling'. How the hell was I supposed to react to that?

He'd barely even acknowledged my existence after I'd woken up in the infirmary, and all this time, he'd been calling me 'darling'?

Uneasily deciding he was simply escalating his teasing, I mentally shoved the little lightning bugs in my chest back down to my stomach and went on the offensive.

I still didn't want to hurt him, so ended up just glaring ineffectively at the back of his head as I struggled to return my circumstances to more familiar grounds. "You'd better be glad your hair is tied up, otherwise I'd be yanking on it. I don't do pet names."

"Feeling violent today, are we?" I could almost feel his smile as he suddenly turned a corner and I realized I was being carted off towards his rooms.

"Uhm, Armando, where you taking me?" I asked nervously, slightly concerned with what he had in mind, especially with that disconcerting little development of him calling me 'darling'.

 _Admit it, you_ liked _it!_

 _Shut up! I admit nothing!_

"My quarters. Where I can make sure you don't do anything foolish."

"I'm not going to sit and twiddle my thumbs anymore!"

"Shh, I already have your logbook. Now calm."

Growling, mostly annoyed and weirdly turned on by his overbearing attitude, I griped, "I need to go back to the infirmary. Magda's gonna have a cow if I'm not back soon."

"Miguel is the one who told me you were foolishly wandering around. I'm sure when he gave me your book he expected nothing less than me enforcing your bed rest." Salazar patted the back of my thigh and I involuntarily twitched my knee into his stomach, making him grunt.

"Sorry," I muttered. I hadn't meant to do that, but the sudden pat had surprised me. This whole position surprised me.

What the fuck kind of mad Alice-in-Wonderland-style drug trip _was_ this? I was currently draped over an 18th century Spanish captain's shoulder, being carted off to his private cabin.

A wayward thought flickered into existence and I suddenly started giggling, unable to stem the bubbles of laughter.

"Something amuses you?" The dry Spanish accent rumbling against my stomach only made me giggler harder.

"This is-this is like some…some friggin' Gothic romance," I wheezed, finally able to control my laughter enough that I could answer him. "Where the heroine's been slung over the villain's shoulder, abducted to his castle to be ravished." The giggles bubbled in my throat again, but I managed to swallow them with only a few escaping.

Salazar stumbled a step, making me yelp and nervously cling to his coat in case he accidentally dropped me.

But I was held firmly, not even slipping as he regained his footing.

"Ravished?" He sounded startled, as if he was shocked by the word. Then slyness filtered into his voice. "And what do you know about _ravishing,_ hmm?"

I squirmed uneasily at the strange little quivers fluttering under my belly, amusement vanishing at the emphasis he placed on the word. "Enough to know that that's what happens to the heroines kidnapped to the villain's lair. Supposedly, anyway."

Which earned another falter, but my impromptu captor recovered even quicker this time from my unexpected remark.

"Ah, that would make me the villain, _sí_?" Instead of sounding annoyed at the comparison, Salazar's tone was darkly amused, a wicked note in the deep baritone that made me unnervingly aware of just how physically powerful he was.

The man had picked me up like I weighed nothing, which I knew was a blatant lie, and wasn't even out of breath as he strode along the _Mary's_ corridors.

And I found it far more arousing than I probably should have.

To distract myself and unable to resist teasing him, I reached up and tugged playfully on the tassels of his epaulets. "Luckily, I've always found the villains to be more interesting than the heroes. All dark and mysterious, plus a much sexier sense of wardrobe than any Prince Charming. Obviously the better choice than the alternative."

The shoulder underneath me shook as he chuckled in response. "Isn't Prince Charming often depicted as without a thought in his head as well?"

I shrugged as well as I could in my position, ignoring Reíno's jaw visibly dropping as Salazar passed him without a glance. "So are the heroines. Now that you mention it, the villains seem to be the only ones with a brain between their ears. See? More reason to like them." I just shrugged at the dumbstruck Spaniard as Salazar turned the corner, immediately blocking my line of sight.

If I didn't know any better, I would have bet good money that Salazar had enjoyed shocking the poor man. He certainly wasn't making any efforts to be subtle with his kidnapping.

I felt him shake his head, the movement tickling against my side, even through my shirt. "Every time I think I understand you, you surprise me."

A beat passed before he asked impishly, "So you would not object being abducted purely for ravishment, hmm?"

 _Oh mama, we so in over our heads._ I blamed my position for the sudden flush of heat to my face at the boldness of his words. Blood draining and all that.

Yet I couldn't resist the urge to tease him back, knowing full well this was dangerous territory. "Do you make it a habit of abducting spinsters purely to ravish them? I'd think that would get boring rather quickly."

The deep, deceptively thoughtful hum vibrated through my stomach, making me wonder if I'd tugged his tail a little too hard.

"Ravishing spinsters would be far more rewarding, I think, than most imagine. To be the first one to tutor slumbering passions, to discover unexplored desires…Perhaps there is something to being the villain after all."

I felt his fingers dance up the back of the calf of my good leg and I tried to jerk free of his touch, just knowing there was a roguish smirk quirked across that enticing mouth as he purred, "Is that part of what attracts you to the villains, _amorcita_? You want a man who knows how to make your desires overwhelm and consume to take you in his arms? You want him to teach you the finer lessons of pleasure? To show you how your body can sing in response to his touch alone?"

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of Google Translate)**

 _Tranquilícese_ \- Calm down/calm yourself

 **And once again, Isabeau finds herself in an emotionally intense situation that she is not equipped to handle, and Salazar is too sexy for his own good. Who gave him permission to walk around with young ladies slung over his shoulder?**


	50. Chapter 50

***crawls in with a wheeze* Why must drama be a thing...I don't need drama at work, or in my life...unless it's dreamy Spaniards. Then I'll take the drama. Other than that, no thank you! But holy cow! 50 chapter. _Fifty_. I'm here to tell you guys, when I started this madness, there was no way in hell that I ever though it'd take 50 chapters to get anywhere. Yet somehow here we are. O.o**

 **But. Aherm. Yeah. _That_ happened. *coughs* Salazar turned on the verbal seduction and cranked it to about Eleven. Oh, and he's not done yet. **

* * *

_Holy._ Fuck. _That was sensual as_ hell _! Oh, god, we are_ so _outclassed, it isn't even funny._

To my mortification, a whimper caught between my teeth and I knew Salazar heard it. There was no way he couldn't.

If he somehow miraculously didn't, there was no way he missed my uncontrollable squirming as I tried desperately to ease some of the ache that suddenly flared to life below my stomach. Liquid heat gathered embarrassingly between my thighs in response to that raspy voice, even as my higher thought processes began to swoon.

Oh, how _badly_ I wanted to experience what he was insinuating with his seductive words.

But I wasn't about to just keel over in a faint, and if he expected me to, he was in for a surprise.

I tried to deflect the alarming questions with a stern retort, even while I strained to regain some form of composure after that dark, rumbling baritone stirred my insides into a hot, melted mess. "Th-those are entirely inappropriate questions, Armando, and _you_ know it!"

Salazar didn't respond to my weak chastisement, but I knew better than to think the subject had been dropped. I'd piqued his intrigue, and that predatory side was scenting the air.

All of the sudden, I was glad I was hanging upside down over his shoulder. At least he couldn't see the beet-red color my face had become.

"What do you find attractive in a man?" he asked suddenly, adjusting his hold on my legs just as I realized we were almost at his quarters.

My brain stuttered to a halt for a long second when I could have sworn I felt his fingers caress along my thigh before his words finally clicked.

"W-why on earth would you ask me that now?"

I counted five steps before he answered my embarrassingly high-pitched question.

"I find myself…curious. Curious about what attracts your attention."

 _I never knew it, but 18_ _th_ _century Spanish capitáns attract my attention. More so than is considered healthy!_

Out loud, I said in what I hoped was a sharp tone, "I don't really feel comfortable discussing something like this while I'm draped over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Not to mention that is a highly improper subject."

 _Especially_ after his suggestive little questions, in that deep voice that practically melted every barrier of resistance I had. Who knows what I'd blurt out!

The cogs clicking away in Salazar's mind were practically audible. "I see…"

I had the uneasy feeling that he saw _all_ too well. Not that I was doing a very good job at hiding how disturbed this entire conversation was making me.

Luckily, I was saved from any more uncomfortable questions that were deadly to my heart rate by the arrival at his quarters.

Which set off a whole new round of butterflies.

"I can walk-" I started, straining upwards to try and wiggle off his shoulder.

Salazar only tightened his grip. "Perhaps, but you are not going to."

Knowing that I wasn't going fight my way free, I flopped back over his shoulder with an unhappy growl.

Ignoring my noise of displeasure, he strode the door and booted it shut behind him before moving to lower me gently onto the settee.

I sucked in a deep breath, relieved to finally be able to draw a full lungful of air without having a shoulder digging into my stomach. "Next time, please don't carry me. It makes me nervous."

Straightening to his full height, Salazar looked down at me curiously. "Why does it make you nervous? You know that I will not drop you."

I lifted one shoulder in an uncomfortable half-shrug, wishing he would at least not stand so close while he towering over me. "I'm not used to being carried, and I don't like it. Plus it doesn't help any that you're really tall, so if something happens and you _do_ drop me…"

"Ah…" He finally stepped back to walk over to his desk. "That could also be construed as you need to be carried more often to rid you of the discomfort."

I glared at the broad back, his impressive stature only emphasized by the flattering lines of his uniform. "That is _not_ how that is going to be construed."

He didn't reply, simply picked up my logbook off his desk and turned around, wearing a quietly confident look that didn't bode well.

"You can just wipe off that arrogant look off your face, Salazar, it's not gonna happen," I said as I pointed a finger at him. "You carry me again and I swear I'll bite you."

One dark eyebrow lifted in an arrogant look, but he kept quiet and just handed me my book.

Any other member of the _Mary's_ crew and that would have been enough to make them subside, but I had the nasty suspicion that I only amused the man. And he was simply going to do what he wanted to anyway.

I resisted the urge to discourage him further. I doubted it would help any.

Inhaling through my nose as he began to walk away, I surprised myself by quietly blurting, "You avoided me. After I woke up."

 _What the fuck? What are you_ doing _?! Shut up, you moron!_

The tall form in front of me froze, and for a second, I thought he was going to simply ignore my statement. His sudden attention was still surprising, and I didn't know what I would do if he ignored me again. I knew what I _should_ do, but apparently, nothing else was on board with that plan.

Salazar's back straightened imperceptibly and he slowly turned towards me, his expression carefully blank. " _Sí._ I did."

 _You also put your lips on mine._

I only thought about it every five seconds or so, though I was doing a good job of ignoring that fact.

My hand suddenly became very fascinating. I picked at a small scratch on the back of my hand, peeling of some tatters of dead skin. I didn't want to know what I would see on his face. "…why?"

Silence filled the room at the whispered question. I couldn't call it back, yet I didn't quite regret it as much as I should. I _needed_ answers. I needed to know.

But all I heard was Salazar's steady breathing, and the longer he stayed silent, the higher my anxiety climbed.

 _Why did you ignore me? Why did you kiss me? Why were you so mad at me? Why didn't you leave me?_

I had so many questions, and I was almost completely certain that Salazar wouldn't answer a single one. I would be surprised if he answered this one.

A familiar cramp kicked up in my left arm and I rubbed it, hoping to ease the tense muscles as I waited.

Movement rustled, and I glanced up under my lashes to see he'd turned to face his desk, hands clasped behind his back.

Grim seriousness had hardened his profile. One hand rested on the pommel of his rapier, and the sheer elegance his figure exuded seemed to almost mock my battered and bruised appearance.

Finally he spoke.

"I need not explain myself to you, Isabeau."

Ruffled indignity fired my tongue before I could bite it. "You can't simply just ignore someone for days on end, then all of the sudden pretend that nothing is wrong!"

Salazar turned to give me a stern look. "I am a _capitán_ , therefore not bound except by propriety to inform you as I see fit."

I dropped my glare to my hands and kept silent. What could I say? He wasn't _wrong_.

It was stupid to listen to futile hopes that were fueled by soft touches and words triggered only by temporary concern.

I kept telling myself not to fall for that trap, and yet every time, I continued to leap over the cliff, only to land with a jarring splat at the bottom.

Was I _asking_ to have my heart ground into a bloody mess under his boot heel or something?

Salazar straightened the cuffs of his coat, eyeing me with close scrutiny. "I must oversee some repairs, and then I will return. I do not want you moving from that spot until I get back. Do you understand?"

My head jerked up and I gritted my teeth. Annoyance simmered to a thick bubbling in my veins. "And how long do you plan to be gone? I left the infirmary to _not_ spend the rest of my days glued to a bed, not just change the scenery of my imprisonment!"

His mouth flattened as I argued, his eyes taking on a steeliness that warned me it would be prudent to stop talking. The sooner the better.

"If I find you not where I left you when I get back-" Salazar suddenly stepped closer, dropping one hand on the seat next to my hip and the other on the settee arm as he leaned in, "-you will not like the consequences."

Not quite cowed enough to give up my freedom so easily, I narrowed my eyes at him, boredom and being bedridden giving me a noted lack of patience. "You listen to me, you overbearing lump. I'll cooperate to the extent that I can stand. But I am not going to let myself waste away because you're being overprotective!"

Dark chocolate eyes blackened to a sinister obsidian.

I shrank back as he abruptly loomed over me, a menacing scowl twisting his features as he snarled, "Overprotective? You claim I am _overprotective_? May I ask who was the one that tried to get her skull cleaved in twain? Whose wound did I have to bind, _whose blood did I have on my hands, soaking into my uniform as I carried her down to the infirmary,_ _ **because she was trying to let herself bleed to death**_ _?!_ "

I pressed myself deep into the cushions with a whine, cringing away from the livid Spaniard as his voice grew more and more forceful, his anger all but tangible. His accent had become so thick I could barely make out the words.

 _I didn't mean it! I swear! I didn't mean to!_

Harsh breaths feathered against my temple for a brief moment, then strong fingers gripped my chin.

"Do not accuse me of being overprotective when you have given me good reason to be so," he hissed, jerking my face up so I could see the turbulence flashing in his gaze, nostrils flaring as his control snapped. " _¡Me obliga a la locura!_ Your blood was _on my boots_ , Isabeau. I was _stepping in it_ as I carried you from your cabin! Do not _dare_ act like my concern is not warranted, _chiquita_ , for my response to that will be _far_ from pleasant!"

I couldn't even meet his eyes. My ears were fully flexed back and whines were continuously rolling from my throat. Shame and embarrassment burned my face into a brilliant red.

Salazar sucked in a quick breath as he struggled to rein in his temper. His fingers flexed against my jaw and he shook my head, forcing me to look at him. "You will cooperate and do as you are told, or so help me I will give you the strong discipline you require!"

He roughly let go of me, straightening to his full height in an angry surge of energy, then whirled and stalked the door, slamming it behind him with a force that rattled the wood in its frame.

I sat frozen, all but melted into the cushions, and for a good long minute, I could only blink in shock.

How the hell had it gone from playful innuendoes to livid rage so quickly? What the fuck had I done? I'd just asked a question. And been mildly uncooperative. But he was being completely unreasonable!

But as I gradually calmed down, my mind racing to understand what the hell just happened, I slowly realized that underneath the anger, there seemed to have been…something else. It hadn't been a true rage, I'd seen enough of the man's emotions to understand that.

This was...something else.

Memory suddenly flashed; the look of pure horror on Salazar's face when he'd ran frantic hands over my body after he'd saved me from the pirate, as if reassuring himself I was in one piece, then crushing me in an embrace that threatened to fracture my spine. The way he'd reacted when I'd been in my cabin, the blood he'd walked through as he carried me...

I swallowed uneasily, mouth turned to dust.

Had I…had I _scared_ him?

A shiver tingled down my spine.

The more I thought about it, the more his unexplained behaviors began to add up. A man like Salazar would not take well to feeling fear. That much I understood. Would undoubtedly lash out, much like he was now.

But I wasn't sure, wasn't adept enough at reading human emotion to be positive. Yet I had the sinking suspicion that my thoughts weren't far off.

My ears flexed back as I unhappily thought of just how much I must have hurt him when I'd let him think I believed he didn't care about me.

That was the entire truth. I _did_ think he cared about me, just…not as much as he apparently did.

Then I shook myself and muttered under my breath, wishing I'd been able to come up with a better comeback than cowering in the cushions. Though the surge of awkward shame and embarrassment that had silenced any thought of argument might have been a good thing.

Arguing with an unpredictable Spaniard who'd already proven he could toss me over his shoulder like a bag of rice was probably not a good idea while I was lamed.

I ignored the odd feelings bouncing around in my chest, putting it down to Salazar's incursions into my personal space and my disturbing thoughts, especially after my worries of growing more feelings for the overbearing man than simply _liking_ him.

Though, deep down, it was more than a little bit of a turn on to have been slung over his shoulder, no matter the reason.

And that talk of ravishing…

Shaking myself again, more vigorously this time, I stood and hobbled over to his bookshelf to peer at the titles, ignoring the little voice that clamored it might not be such a good idea to test the already tetchy _capitán_ by moving from my seat.

 _Whatever. He ignored me for the entire time I was in the infirmary. It's his turn to be ignored!_

Yet I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that one didn't simply ignore a man like Salazar without dire consequences.

 **xxxxx**

The door slammed shut, accompanied by irritable cursing in Spanish and I looked up to see Salazar stalking across the room, yanking the ribbon out of his hair and disappeared into his private rooms with another slam.

I blinked a couple times at this odd behavior, not moving from my spot curled up in the armchair adjacent to the settee. But I did mark the page in my book, as I had the feeling I was going to have to put it on pause for a moment.

Sure enough, the door was wrenched open a few moments later, and Salazar prowled back into the room, heading towards his desk only to come to an abrupt halt in the middle of the room and I knew he'd seen me.

My stomach sank with dismay.

I'd had time to cool down from my delayed bout of temper, and the brief confidence that had come with it tucked its tail against its belly and whimpered.

He turned with a slow, restrained pivot and I was pinned under that sharp scrutiny, overcome with the urge to curl up tighter until I disappeared as he sauntered closer to me with a glower.

"I see you found something to read. May I ask why then you're not where I left you, even after I explicitly warned you of failing to remain in your seat?" he asked silkily, coming to a stop uncomfortably close, his pants brushing my knees.

Something I'd come to realize about Salazar was that he most definitely knew how to make people unsettled and wasn't above using his intense physical presence to make an atmosphere extremely, almost unpleasantly, charged, especially when he purposely wanted to unnerve someone.

However, I couldn't be sure if he simply hadn't cooled off from his earlier outburst, the Spanish temper infamous and probably even more pronounced in someone like _el Matador del Mar_ , or if something else had pissed him off this time.

I craned my neck to stare up at him warily, a little thrown by seeing him with his hair down. Even though I hadn't been the trigger for his temper this time, that didn't mean he couldn't still get angrier. "I was going to move in a moment."

Only a little lie. I'd gotten sucked into the book I'd found, but I'd mentally been reminding myself that I needed to move to stretch out on the settee. My leg was protesting being curled up in the chair for so long and I straightened it with a small wince.

His eyes flickered over me and he quirked a disbelieving brow. "You look quite comfortable for someone who is promptly departing from her seat."

I shifted, uncomfortable to be at the receiving end of his irritation yet again. And hadn't forgotten my suspicions. "I'm sorry for upsetting you…"

Salazar blinked, stilling at my meek words. He glanced over me, taking in my hunched posture as I braced for more scolding, then he inhaled deeply and leaned down. "Come. I'll help you move. You'll be more comfortable if you can stretch."

With only a slight hesitation, I slipped my arm around his neck as he slid his arms underneath me, then yelped and clung to his shoulders when he suddenly swept me up off the chair.

Even annoyed as he was, he still managed a small smirk before pivoting and lowering me to the settee.

But the man was right. It did feel better to be able to stretch out my legs. I grimaced as blood began flowing back through my limbs, not realizing I'd been sitting long enough for them to go numb.

A heavy exhalation distracted me from the pain and I looked up to see Salazar moving towards the cabinet I'd been sitting next to, pulling out what looked like liquor from one of the shelves.

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. Alcohol didn't like me, and made it well known.

"Drinking in the middle of the day?" I lightly teased as he filled up a glass, replacing the bottle in the cabinet.

He shot me a glance before moving to sit in the chair I'd been evicted from, gracefully sitting even as he pointed a finger at me sternly. "Not a word."

The huge rush of relief made me nearly dizzy. I beamed back, happy to return to the camaraderie from before all the yelling and iciness and heartache. "I see nothing."

"Good girl." He took a sip of what smelled like wine and leaned back in the chair with a sigh.

I figured he probably didn't want to be bothered until he'd had a chance to recharge some, so I absently rubbed my legs to ease the unpleasant tingling, then cracked open my book to resume reading and distract myself.

I was desperately trying to ignore the tempting waves of the mahogany mane that flowed silkily around his shoulders. My fingers itched to gently ruffle through it, to feel the luxuriously soft strands against my skin-

Twisting my neck, I flexed until I heard several distinct cracks, diverting my thoughts with the blissful feeling of released pressure.

Salazar shifted out of the corner of my eye, and I saw him lace his fingers around his glass, studying me quietly as I tried not to fidget under his steady gaze.

It made me uncomfortable when he looked at me with that much intensity, so I stuck my nose deeper into my book to ignore it.

"What did you manage to find?"

The calm, easy tone triggered my desire to tease. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed being able to until I felt uncomfortable to try…

I clutched the book to my chest and scrunched my nose at him. "It's mine. You can't have it."

One eyebrow lifted dangerously before he realized I was only teasing him. His mouth quirked with a scoff. "You think I will simply let you claim my books without a fight?"

I bared my teeth in a playful grin. "What makes you think you'd win?"

Salazar held out a hand, the slight hint of steeliness in his gaze indicating that playtime was over.

Huffing in disgust that he was being such a spoilsport, I reluctantly gave him the book, making sure to mark my page first.

He looked at the cover, surprise flickering on his face when he saw what I'd been reading. "Where did you get this?"

I pointed at his bookcase. "Bottom shelf, tucked behind that set with the gold leaf."

A scowl marred his expression as he glared at the small, unassuming cover. "This should not even be here."

Confused, I tilted my head. What did he mean by that?

He looked up and shook his head slightly at my confusion. "It was a gift from…a friend."

I grinned at his obvious reluctance to call whoever had given him a gothic romance a 'friend'. "They thought you'd find it entertaining?"

"I'm not entirely positive that _idiota_ knows what 'entertaining' _means_ ," he growled, glowering at the innocent book.

A quiet giggle tickled my throat at Salazar's obvious annoyance with whoever was brave enough to tease him. "Well, if you don't want it, may I have it?"

He grunted an affirmative and held it out to me. "Quite frankly, I had forgotten all about it. You are enjoying it?"

"I love it!" I gushed as I took it back, then ducked my head in embarrassment when he gave me a startled look. "Sorry. It's just…romances are a guilty pleasure of mine."

Salazar's bemusement faded at my awkward blush. "I am glad it interests you."

To my surprise, he visibly relaxed in the chair, eyes closing with a sigh. I took it to mean that he simply wanted some peace and quiet, so I cracked my book open and resumed reading.

I hadn't been lying, it was a seriously good book. It had been honestly surprising to find such a book in English on Salazar's shelves, but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. And it was shockingly well-written, with a heroine that started off fairly airheaded, but she seemed to have grown quite a bit, however much her situation allowed. The hero was a complete and utter fop, but I genuinely liked the villain.

If it had been anyone other than Salazar in the room, I probably wouldn't have even noticed my company.

The silence was extremely comfortable, now that Salazar's temper had cooled off. It was more relaxing than I would have thought to sit here with him as he sipped his wine, watching me calmly.

The book made me wonder, though. How differently would things have turned out if I'd been properly from this time and our paths had crossed? Would he have been more charming had I been 'normal'? Or would he have just politely acknowledged my existence and brushed on by?

I wasn't stupid to not realize that had this been any other situation than me being dropped on the _Silent Mary_ like a pot of petunias, things would undoubtedly have been far less pleasant. And it was extremely unlikely that whatever had developed between me and Salazar would have been given a chance.

The only reason this fascination, for lack of a better term, existed was because Salazar was forced into close quarters with me.

The realization was sobering.

"Something bothers you?"

I lifted my head to see that I was still being observed inquisitively, and I wondered if it wasn't better this way, with my improper self being too alien to be anything more than a passing curiosity. Certainly less emotionally threatening, that's for sure.

"Just wondering a few things," I said flippantly, hoping to throw him off the scent. I might have fallen into the daydream of hoping for more, but it was better for the emotional distance to grow again. Safer.

Now if only I could get everything else to go along with that plan. Like, my emotions.

Salazar didn't press, and several pages later, I glanced up again to see he'd tilted his head back and closed his eyes, one completely relaxed Spaniard. His chest moved slowly up and down as he rested.

I smiled slightly, pleased he could unwind while I was around. To me, it was the highest compliment, like a feral cat deciding it did indeed enjoy scritches and would headbutt for more.

A disturbing image of Salazar rubbing against me, asking to be pet, popped into existence and I knew my face had gone beet red from that mental flashbang.

 _No scritches. Emotional distance. Remember his anger. Being ignored._

I swallowed and quickly snapped my focus to the pages, but the words fuzzed in front of me, unfocused and blurry.

It seemed like only a few minutes later when Salazar finished the last of his wine and began tying his hair back up into the neat bun he kept it in.

To keep myself from getting distracted by the almost erotically masculine motions, I studied his face, noticing that he still looked tired. Almost on the verge of haggard.

I flexed my ears back and dropped my head as I thought quickly.

If Salazar had stayed with me during the time after I'd had my wound stitched until I woke, then continued to keep me company the next day or so, and had been constantly overseeing repairs ever since, he was pushing himself _way_ too hard.

If he hadn't gotten enough sleep since the skirmish, how exhausted _was_ he? Would Lesaro step in and force him to rest? Could the lieutenant even coerce someone of the captain's caliber to cooperate?

 _What the hell are you thinking, girlfriend?_

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I wondered if I was really going to do this.

Salazar would push, and push hard, and I wasn't entirely confident he wouldn't just bowl me over to resume driving himself to exhaustion. And the memory of his black temper when he'd snarled at me about stepping in my blood was still extremely fresh.

 _He pushed_ us _to take it slow. Turnabout is fair play, isn't it?_

I snorted quietly. _Whoever said that obviously hadn't gone toe-to-toe with a Spaniard such as Salazar._

Steeling my spine, I slowly rose from the settee, ignoring Salazar's sharp look as I languidly stretched. The stiff muscles all but creaked, and my joints popped noisily, but it felt good.

Before the overbearing man could get up and shove me back in my seat, I moved to plant myself in front of him, watching as he slowly looked up at me, measuring me up.

When he reached my face, annoyance visibly morphed to amusement as he took in my determined expression.

I ignored my own annoyance flaring in response and stated in a firm tone, "You need to take a break."

Then I swallowed and waited for the explosion.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (Courtesy of SpanishDict)**

 _Me obliga a la locura -_ You compel me to madness!

 **Well, she _tried..._ I know, I know, she should have made him grovel more, but she can't help it! He's just so, damn, _cute_! Plus it's hella hard to stand up to someone like Salazar, even though she's getting better at it. **

**However, she's not out of danger yet! He might have collared his sensual side for now, but she's in his lair. And even with as upset as he was, he'd be a fool not to take advantage of that. And C** **apitán** **Armando Salazar of Spanish Royal Armada is not a fool.**


	51. Chapter 51

**Whoops. I totally forgot all about uploading this chapter! Then again, this weekend was pretty busy for me. Bit more than usual. *sighs* What do I have to do to get some peace and quiet? While we're on the subject of impossible things, anyone know how I can get my own Spaniard to love and cuddle for the rest of my life?**

* * *

Deep brown eyes steadily regarded me with a baffled look, but he remained silent as his expression faded to amusement, curiously waiting to see what I'd do next.

Taking advantage of the unexpected benevolence and lack of temper, I pressed on. "Your lieutenant is well-trained enough to oversee your duties for a little while, and you won't do anyone any bit of good if you run yourself raw. So, you, my dear _capitán_ , are going to take some downtime."

Salazar stared at me, stunned mute by what had essentially been an order, and my stomach began to clench uneasily as I waited for him to finally snap.

Surprisingly enough, he merely raised an eyebrow with a look. "You do realize I can simply move you aside, no?"

Instead of growling at me with impatience, he seemed only entertained that some lame little mouse was daring to stand up to the mighty _el Matador del Mar_ , one of the most feared and renowned captains in the waters.

 _This wasn't exactly how I imagined he'd react, but the mocking just might be worse than the anger._

I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring when his gaze dropped slightly to where my breasts were unfortunately outlined quite nicely by my shirt. "I'm counting on you being too much of a gentleman for that. Thirty minutes, _Capitán_."

His smile slowly faded as he realized I was completely serious. "And what is it you think I'm to do during this...'downtime', _chiquita_?"

I fixed him with a glare at the unwelcome condescending note in his tone. "I'm _not_ a little girl, and I don't appreciate being talked to like I'm stupid. Thirty minutes. Pick your poison."

I jabbed a thumb at his bookshelf, bracing myself as his face darkened, traces of anger finally beginning to show.

"You expect me to sit here and _read_? I think not. I have duties, _señorita_ , and they do not involve sitting around reading when there is work to be done," he said, shaking his head at my audacity. "Stand aside, or I will simply move you out of the way."

I refused to budge.

If I gave an inch, Salazar wouldn't stop until he'd run me over.

Shoving away the warning trembles in my weak leg, I urged, "You have _time,_ Armando."

At the sound of his name, he instantly paused in the motion of getting up, me in the way or not.

Quickly, I continued, his face inches from mine. "You can growl and snap at me all you want, but you need to rest. You're running yourself ragged."

He didn't move, just listened, eyes flickering between mine.

I swallowed nervously, then quietly said, "Please."

 _Please be good. Please cooperate. I'm trying to help._

Slowly, eyelids slid shut over that dark gaze and the powerful body was still for the longest time.

Exhaustion led to mistakes, and mistakes from someone in a position with other people as their responsibility were not a good thing.

On the other hand, Salazar knew himself. He knew his limits, and when he hadn't reached them yet. If he truly pushed to keep going, I'd back away.

My leg was just about to give out when his throat rippled as he swallowed and finally moved, rising to a full stand as his eyes opened.

Disappointment weighed heavy in my chest as he straightened to his full height and I stepped backward out of his way, sitting down quickly on the settee before the weakened muscles could fail and drop me on the floor.

Yet to my surprise, Salazar didn't move to leave. Elegant fingers made quick work of the sword belt buckled around his waist and he set the rapier to the side before sinking back down into the chair with a deep exhalation.

It was testament to how tired he must be that he didn't protest further.

He saw my small, pleased smile and made a noise of gratitude before waving a hand at his library. "Pick me something."

I slumped with a groan of dismay. "You can't be serious…"

All I got was a click of his tongue in response. "Come, come, _querida_. How am I supposed to select a book if you insist I am simply to sit here?"

I pretended not to notice the shiver down my spine at the endearment and squinted at him, not surprised to see the gleam of amusement in those dark chocolate eyes. "So tell me. Do all of your female admirers know you're such a brat?"

That received a smirk. "I will have you know that I have never been so disrespected by a lady in my entire life."

"Yeah, well, since I'm not a lady, your track record's still clean," I retorted, bracing myself as I rose to my feet. Luckily, the brief respite seemed to be good enough and my leg agreed to hold my weight.

"I meant no insult," he said, watching me keenly as I made my way over to the bookcase, one forefinger tapping his thigh. It wouldn't have surprised me if he'd caught the shakiness in my limbs.

I flicked my fingers at him to show I hadn't taken insult, then studied the titles, trying to glean some crude translation. "I wish that Spanish class hadn't been such a nightmare. I might've learned something useful."

Just as quickly, I cringed when I could almost _feel_ his curiosity perk up its ears at my mumbling.

Not even turning to look, I pointed a finger in his direction. "We don't talk about that class, we don't think about that class, and we _certainly_ don't discuss what happened during that nightmare of a torture session. Got it?"

Giving up trying to guess the titles, I grabbed a book at random and dropped it in his lap. "Here, this is what you get."

My lip curled at the memory of the worst class of my entire degree as I stalked back to the settee. I carefully sat down and studiously stuck my nose between the pages of my book, ignoring the watchful stare burning my skin.

I knew better, but still, one could hope, right?

Silence passed for a few minutes, until I realized that I'd just tried to read the same paragraph for the sixth time in a row, my concentration utterly destroyed by Salazar's unwavering scrutiny.

I jerked my head around to glare at him in irritation. "Would you _please_ stop staring at me?"

Salazar remained silent, instead standing to change seats, gracefully moving to sit at the end of the settee.

After settling comfortably, he turned and fixed me with a steady gaze, watching with a smug little smile as I slid towards his heavier bulk.

I tucked my book against my chest and squinted at the big Spaniard sucking up my space. "What."

"You know what," he said, mimicking my vernacular, that smile curving into a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, even as those stupid little bubbles popped and fizzled in my chest at his bantering.

Knowing he wouldn't give it up, I sighed heavily, sliding down a little to get more comfortable, trying to find a position that didn't make my thigh throb. "So, about three hundred years from now, men stop being chauvinistic asses and let girls into higher education. Colleges are where you earn degrees, which cover a multitude of classes engineered specifically for whatever degree you've chosen. Mine was for medical administration. Er-" I paused, suddenly realizing I needed to explain what that was.

But Salazar was quicker than I gave him credit for. "Your occupation as a doctor's clerk, correct?"

"Yes! Exactly," I nodded, then continued. "One of the classes that was required for me to finish my program was learning Spanish for a medical workplace, as there's a higher influx Spanish speakers in America by this time."

My temper began to boil as I recalled just how much stupidity I had been subjected to for those four months.

"From your expression, this class was not pleasant?" Salazar asked wryly, shifting to rest one booted foot over his knee, the very picture of relaxed male.

The mouthwatering picture distracted my vexation enough that I had to stop and think about what I'd been venting on.

"…no. No, it wasn't pleasant. It was an educational bloodbath. I'm not sure if it was because it was a different teacher than normal, but what he taught us was _not_ how to hold a conversation with a Spanish speaker coming to a doctor, even though that's what one of our entire tests was about."

My audience tilted his head. "They did not fix this while you were being taught?"

I snorted in disgust. "Why should the people in charge care? They have their money. If a bunch of students fail the class and lower their grades, it doesn't affect them, and therefore it's not something they need to worry about until it begins to make them lose money."

He hummed in his throat and when I stiffly shifted to reposition my leg again, he suddenly reached out and gently wrapped his fingers around my ankle, moving my leg until my foot rested over his thigh.

I paused, tensing slightly at the change in position, but he didn't move any more than that, simply allowing my leg to easily stretch.

Something caught his eye and he cocked his head curiously.

"What is this?" he asked, tapping a finger against one of my toes, holding my foot still when I automatically tried to pull it back. I didn't like anyone messing with my feet.

"It's nail polish," I said, distracting myself from the awkwardness by arching my back in a stretch, the movement feeling good to my tight muscles. "Sort of like paint, but it's made specifically to be used on nails."

I was really surprised that the nail polish was still holding up as well as it was. Then again, the bottle had been almost sixteen dollars. The more expensive stuff tended to last longer.

I was also starting to feel self-conscious at the way he peered at my toes. My feet were very calloused from walking around barefoot, and I felt embarrassed that they weren't soft and delicate.

"It is quite a beautiful hue," he said, his thumb rubbing a small circle against the inside of my foot.

"I have a weakness for iridescent colors," I confessed with a sheepish smile, amazed at just how good that little motion felt. "Just a little bit of a magpie."

 _Emotional distance, girlfriend! Emotional distance!_

"Continue, _por favor_."

His thumb stroking against my ankle made my words falter, and he seemed to realize this, stilling his movements so that I could continue.

I bit back a whine before finding my tongue again, wishing I could think and soak in his touch at the same time. "The teacher gave us a test, an entire conversation, to translate into Spanish, nothing of which he'd taught us. So that test was an absolute disaster, and failed more than one student."

My teeth squeaked as I clenched my jaw, disgust surging back with a vengeance. "It just all went downhill from there. The only way I made it through with a passing grade was because I made good use of the cheat sheet he allowed during our last test."

My thoughts stuttered to a halt as his thumb began rubbing circles in the arch of my foot, using just enough pressure to make my eyes roll back in my head.

 _Emotional. Distance._

"And this is why you do not like Spanish?"

When I didn't answer, only purred at the back of my throat, Salazar stopped his ministrations. "Isabeau."

One eye cracked open and I wetted my lips, hoping he'd continue if I gave him what he wanted. "I think most everyone did, after that nightmare. The kicker was when I ran into some people that had taken it the semester after, and it wasn't learning the language at all, but instead becoming 'culturally aware'."

Closing my eyes again, I blew out a huge breath, all thoughts of disgusted annoyance evaporating as he started those amazing little circles again.

 _Fuck emotional distance; it feels so good…_

Ecstasy rippled over my skin and I went limp with a tiny moan, basking in pleasure.

"I have not noticed this…reticence during your time aboard," Salazar said slowly, those wonderful fingers slowly moving higher to my ankle.

I shrugged, not really wanting to talk anymore, but knowing he'd stop if I didn't. "It faded over time, and hearing it actually spoken helps to realize it's a rather beautiful language. I just don't have any desire to learn it."

The circles inched up to the hollow above my ankle. "Do many people attain these degrees?"

"Mm, that's hard to gauge. I would say probably yes, compared to what you'd be used to. Quite a few people attended college where I went."

Silence stretched while he mulled that over. All the stress, all the exhaustion, all the strain of the past few days seemed to wither away as strong fingers kneaded the muscles of my lower calf. The heat of his hand melted my tension away, even through my pants.

I couldn't even recall the last time I'd been so relaxed. If he did this much longer, I'd be a puddle on the couch.

Yet I couldn't help a small snort of derision, aimed solely at myself.

Here I was, basically complaining to a naval captain from the 18th century about how hard my life had been during school.

It was almost embarrassing the more I thought about it. Who knew what Salazar had gone through in his past, but I doubted any of it had to do with an incompetent teacher.

"Is it a difficult education?"

His voice barely penetrated my dazed fog of bliss tinged with bitterness.

"It's expensive, and it requires book-smarts, but it's doable if you study and pay attention." I yawned tiredly and slide down a little lower in my seat. "And if you go to a community college, at least you're not paying off student loans for the rest of your life."

"You make it sound so easy," he mused, making use of my adjustment to slide his hand up a bit higher.

 _Yes, yes I do. Especially compared to a life without electricity, without proper medical care, not knowing if you're going to get shot or stabbed or die from lockjaw the next day._

"Yet I feel it is far more difficult than you let on."

His fingers stilled again, in time with the unexpected solemn note in his voice, making my eyes open curiously.

The look on Salazar's face claimed all of my attention. He looked…disturbed, like his thoughts had wandered in an unsettling direction.

He caught me staring, trying to read his face, and quickly dropped a mask over whatever he'd been thinking. "How is your leg?"

The sudden subject change made me curious about what had bothered him, but I didn't want to ruin the easy atmosphere by asking. "Weak. Painful. It's not so bad when I don't move, but it's annoying not being able to walk normally."

I felt him move and glanced down to see him absently rubbing the knee his ankle was propped on. I wondered if he couldn't twist it as much as he could the other one.

"How bad was it?" I asked him quietly.

"Hm?" He glanced at me and saw where my eyes fell. "Ah. It was…substantial. There was a brief time when…"

Those dark eyes focused sightlessly on nothing as his voice trailed away, and in it's absence, the sudden strength of my urge to nuzzle him stunned me.

I cocked my head speculatively. Salazar had comforted me enough times…surely he wouldn't be offended if I offered him the same?

 _What happened to emotional distance?_

 _We can be emotionally distant later._

He let me pull my leg out from under his hand and watched curiously as I struggled upright, my muscles more limp than I would have thought from just that little bit of rubbing.

It took some twisting and a few twinges of protest from my leg, but I managed to turn around on the settee without falling off.

"Isabeau?"

Ignoring Salazar's questioning gaze, I wriggled under his arm, at little awkwardly from how heavily muscled the limb was, and curled into his side with a sigh, soaking in the soothing feel of heat and strength as I settled my body against his.

Instantly, I began to wonder if I'd overstepped my liberties, but after only a slight hesitation, I felt his arm lower to tentatively curve around me.

Muscles tensed when I snuggled closer and rested my cheek against his solid chest, his heartbeat rapid under my ear, but after a few moments, the stiffness began to slowly drain away.

"After I was injured, there was a brief time when it seemed like I would not be able to walk again," he finished quietly, his thumb starting to absently rub where it lay against my arm.

The sensation of his voice vibrating along my entire body was one I wanted to bask in, to roll around and feel it caress my skin.

 _Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get this close to him. Seems like every single brain cell just packs up and walks out the door whenever he touches me…_

"The worst injury I ever got was when I lost a fight with a tree," I said casually, listening to the rhythm of his heart under my ear.

"¿ _Que_?"

I smiled at the bewildered question. "It's a long story. Suffice to say, it was more of a sapling, and it was pulled back to smack me in the face. Split open my eyebrow, and made me see double for a bit. Was lucky, though. It missed my eye."

Fingers tightened on my arm and I could have kicked myself. I was supposed to be comforting him, not trying to worry him further.

"You were lucky."

I twisted my head at the soft murmur, but I couldn't see his face from my position. A subtle stiffening warned me against trying to move, so I rested my cheek against the open seam of his coat and didn't say anything. I'd probably have buttons imprinted on my cheek, but I didn't care.

Finally, Salazar took a deep breath, my head moving with his chest, and said, "You were extremely fortunate…I don't think you can comprehend _how_ lucky you were, to take on an armed opponent such as you did, and not only survive, but-"

Pain pulsed under where his fingers bit into my arm, but I kept quiet. I could remember the sight of bloody foam trickling down the pirate's neck all too well, could still feel the hot droplets splashing against my skin.

I couldn't even imagine what horrors were going through his mind.

"I didn't feel scared," I whispered, grisly memories flashing in a vivid replay. "All I could think of was if I didn't concentrate, I would be on the floor, right next to Lady BeKatt..."

"Which wouldn't have happened if you'd stayed in my quarters."

I winced at the sharp tone, then opened my mouth to snap a defense before sighing. "I know...I know. But I heard her scream again and again, and I just..."

He let me move away when I lurched upright, his arm sliding down to rest at my waist as I hugged my knees to my chest, ignoring the nauseating stretch of stitched skin. "I don't know why I did that. I'm not…I'm not a _brave_ person. I don't go out of my way to help other people. I'm oblivious, and selfish, and for the life of me, I have no clue _why_ I went to help her! Why did I do that? That's not me, I'm not-"

The arm wrapped around my waist suddenly flexed, tugging backwards.

I toppled back, landing against hard, firm muscle with a grunt.

"You _are_ brave. I've told you that before. Foolishly so," Salazar added, squeezing me tighter against him. "Perhaps one day you will even believe me when I tell you such."

Tilting my head upwards, I stared at him upside down for a moment, seeing his face soften slightly as he gazed back.

There was something else I needed him to know. Something I _needed_ him to understand.

"I wasn't trying to bleed out on purpose."

His faint smile died away and I dropped my gaze to stare at the wall. The comforting feel of his body pressed against mine loosened my tongue enough to continue. "I thought about it. And honestly, it hasn't been the first time since I woke up here. But not since I was brought aboard the _Silent Mary_ ," I added hastily when I felt his body abruptly become rigid, twisting my head to nuzzle into his shoulder.

It was easier to talk about this when I couldn't see him…easier to admit my weakness to a man who didn't seem to have any when I couldn't see his blinding handsomeness.

Hugging the arm still tight around my waist, I whispered, "But for a minute, I just… _couldn't_ , anymore. I didn't want to keep going. I just wanted it all to stop…"

My eyes began to sting and I quickly pressed my face into his coat sleeve, hoping that would stave off the tears.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and shout and sob and…and…

What was I doing here?

Was I really here, or was this some extraordinarily elaborate construct of my mind?

It _felt_ real, but then, dreams tended to feel real while one was dreaming.

But how could it be real? After everything that had happened, everything that _was_ happening, how could all of this be real?

I wanted to scream until I didn't have a voice, and at the same time, I felt a void where my emotions should be. I felt empty and too full at the same time. I felt lost while I was in a place I had never moved from.

I could feel the storm rage around me, but all I heard was silence in my head.

I didn't want to be here anymore. But how could I leave this behind? Despite _everything_ , I felt…

What _did_ I feel?

"Come back to me, _querida_."

Safe. I felt...safe.

The deep timbre buzzed along my skin, resonating in my chest, melting into my bones. It called me back from the howling winds, to where things were calmer, peaceful, where the world made sense in a twisted, beautiful way.

A sharp gasp brought me the rest of the way out, the oxygen rushing to my head. I blinked a few times, feeling like I'd moved when I was pretty sure I'd been entirely frozen for the past few minutes. Had I even been breathing?

 _Alright, that was not fun. Mental note: try to avoid reaching the point of complete mental breakdown for the future._

"Wow. I _completely_ checked out. I'm sor-" I turned my face to apologize and found myself nose to nose with Salazar.

I blinked, still a little disoriented from my mental whirlwind, then realized I had indeed moved. Or more precisely, I had _been_ moved.

Both of his arms were now wrapped around me, holding me against his chest.

And I was sitting in his lap.

Startled by the sudden change in position, I leaned away, trying to regain my composure, but Salazar wouldn't allow it.

He ducked his head slightly, ensnaring my gaze as his arms flexed, keeping my chest pressed against his.

My breath caught in my throat at the intimacy of the position slowly sank in, even as dark eyes flickered between mine.

I could feel firm thighs underneath me, felt hard strength encircling me, breathed in that dizzying spice every time I inhaled.

 _Hold me._

And those dark eyes kept me pinned in place, staring intently as if he could see into my very soul. "What I saw in your cabin is _not_ going to happen again, do you understand me?"

The sheer intensity was more than a little unnerving, but I couldn't blink, couldn't break free of his gaze. I couldn't even breathe, only nod as I stared back helplessly.

I'd never before felt such focused attention from another human being, but my mind wasn't screaming for escape. I was completely enthralled.

 _Kiss me._

Finally, Salazar blinked, shuttering his piercing focus and letting me finally inhale much needed air. His arms still wouldn't loosen, though, and I knew it was pointless to struggle.

But the feeling of him surrounding me, strong muscles and restrained power, was unsettling, tilting me off-kilter. I could feel the press of a bulge against my hip and it was unnerving to know what it was. Distracting…tantalizing.

I squirmed, heat suddenly flushing my cheeks, my neck. "Wh-what are you doing?"

One eyebrow lifted as he tilted his head with a small, mischievous smile. A smile that barely lightened the grim shadow in his eyes. "What do you think I am doing, _señorita_?"

"I think you're messing with me." Blushing harder, I didn't dare look at him as I strained against the powerful arms effortlessly keeping me in place. "And you're not funny. Let go."

"What if I don't want to?"

* * *

 ***grins* Yeah, Isabeau, whatchu gonna do if he doesn't wanna let you go? You think you're gonna escape? You're in it deep now, girlfriend! He's got you good and trapped!**


	52. Chapter 52

**Warning: Isabeau,exe has crashed. Please reboot from CD-disc. Error: 421-CuddlingSpaniardOverload. If error continues, contact system support.**

 **Okay. So. Get this. I had four days off for the holiday weekend, right? Four days. _Plenty_ of time for writing. Nope. That didn't happen. So instead of posting Thursday like I'd planned, or even Friday, we gonna post Sunday. Because apparently _my_ plans mean nothing to other people. *rolls eyes***

 **Also, this chapter is a lot bigger than I'd like, but I wasn't able to trim it how I wanted, so it'll help make up for the delay in posting. Sorry about that...**

* * *

The heavy seriousness in his voice made me pause mid-struggle.

Taking advantage of my hesitation, his arms pulled me closer still, until I was laying completely against his chest, pressed as close to him as I could get, with our clothes the only thing between us.

He dropped his chin on top of my head with a small inhale and said quietly, "What if I don't want to let you go?"

My heart stopped for a second. I felt the pause, then the hard slam as it resumed its pace double time.

 _Don't let me go._

There was something, some undercurrent in his tone, that said this wasn't just some idle wondering out loud. Was more than just him teasing.

His words spun round and around in my head, whirling like a kaleidoscope, making me dizzy. With a pang, I abruptly recalled what I'd told him, about me being off the _Mary_ as if I'd never existed.

I knew those careless words had hurt him. Now I was painfully beginning to realize how _much_ I'd hurt him.

But I wouldn't… _couldn't_ answer. I was still trying to filter through the past few days.

And to answer would give him more power over me than I was ready for him to have.

The male body plastered to mine heaved a deep sigh, a huge rise and fall of Salazar's chest, that shook me from my reverie. I blinked, dazed, as I edged off his lap, trying to get space. Yet an arm snaked around me soon as I hit the cushions, keeping my side flush against his.

I sat stiffly next to him, still too stunned from that intimate position to be able to loosen my muscles. _I'd been sitting in his_ lap _, of all places!_

Belatedly, I realized that there was something…indescribable about sitting in a man's lap. Surrounded by strong limbs and enveloped with lean muscle that could easily hold and restrain, preventing any prospect of escape until _he_ decided he was ready to let go.

A man's body was much more dangerous than I'd given it credit for.

Muttered Spanish came from next to me, but I was too busy staring blankly at the wall to overly care, trying to recover from the unexpected arousal that was still flowing through my body with powerful eddies, feeding the urge to turn around and crawl on top of him.

And press my lips to his _-_

"How has courting changed in your time?"

My head jerked at the sudden question, mental processes still in shock. I looked up to see he was studying me closely, as if gauging my reaction. "Wh…what?"

Salazar's mouth quirked in that smug little half-smile he wore when it seemed like he could read my thoughts. "How much has changed in the manner of courtship?"

It took a few seconds for his words to process, but when they did, I began to awkwardly fidget, trying to figure a quick way out of this conversation. Unfortunately for me, my brain suddenly lunged to the end of its leash at the idea of courting and Spanish _capitáns_ , despite everything that I'd berated myself about barely an hour prior.

"Why does that question make you so nervous?" He tilted his head curiously, then his eyes widened in surprise when I suddenly scooted backwards on the settee until I was braced against the other arm.

So that he was out of my reach. And I was out of his.

"That's a topic I'm not particularly sure I'm the best person to ask about," I stammered, feeling flustered as one of his fingers suddenly began to tap against his thigh.

I was coming to realize that particular mannerism meant he was thinking something that didn't bode well for me.

A hand suddenly flashed out and clamped around my good ankle as I tried to draw my legs underneath me, making me yip in surprise.

 _Apparently not out of reach enough!_

"Isabeau," the deep voice sounded almost ominous, "Why are you trying to hide?"

I swallowed nervously, my throat growing dry in response to his lilting accent.

"I'm not hiding," I squeaked, trying to subtly shift my leg loose from under his hand, trying to put more space between and this man who was beyond dangerous to my composure, but he tightened his fingers around my ankle in warning. "I just…don't feel comfortable talking about that particular subject?"

I winced as my voice rose up at the end like a question, and Salazar frowned in response.

"Why would you feel uncomfortable?" He seemed genuinely bewildered, as if unable to comprehend such a thing. "It is something that is practiced even now. I am simply curious about what has changed between my time and yours."

Clicking under my breath, I looked down at my hands, noting with annoyance how much dirt I had under my fingernails. _I bet any woman he's ever courted never had a single speck of dirt under her nails._

 _That_ was a dangerous road to go down. I took a deep breath and plunged. "The world is much less rigid in about three hundred years. A woman's reputation isn't what it's like now. One could date many different men and no one would blink an eye. In fact, a lot of people might actually make fun of a woman who was still…er, 'untouched' past a certain age."

 _For instance, say, at_ my _age._

Even as I concentrated on trying to clean the dirt out from under my nails, I could feel Salazar's gaze locked on the blush that was burning from my ears clear down to my chest.

"You mean to say…"

I didn't _dare_ look up. "Courtship, or dating, is different. Even though women have gained more freedom, it feels like…something was lost in the transition. Men are crude, coarse, they lack manners and just general respect for others. There's a saying that's become popular recently." My lips twisted in a wry smile. "Chivalry is dead."

The palm searing heat into my skin lifted from the clasp around my ankle, and I would have sworn his fingers caressed my skin as he withdrew. "You mean that men no longer view you as a lady, and therefore see no reason to treat you as one."

My head lifted at the grim undertone in his deep timbre and saw his expression had darkened considerably, his hands clenched into fists. "Might have something to do with it, but common courtesy should still be a thing."

"A woman should always be treated with courtesy," he snapped. "Be they lady or…"

I smiled a little bitterly as he suddenly clamped his mouth shut, nostrils flaring in vexation. "Most men might agree with you, but alas dear _capitán_ , you are what is called Old World. And they're a dying breed."

Drawing my leg up carefully, I gently rubbed around the sore area of my right thigh, massaging the weakened muscles. Wishing I had big, warm hands massaging it instead… "Truthfully, they're not all bad…just enough of them to make a girl lose hope of finding one worth her time."

A deep hum rumbled in Salazar's throat before he started muttering in Spanish. Suddenly, he stilled as if something had just occurred to him. "And this…dating. You have done this?"

Chewing on my lip, I thought about how best to word my answer for a few seconds, feeling my flush worsen. "Only once…and it didn't last long. He turned out to be a complete…if I've got my Spanish right, pretty sure the direct term would be _cabrón._ "

He shifted tensely, eyes suddenly hard as he clenched the hand that had clasped my ankle into a fist. "A younger man?"

I shrugged, having excised that particular episode therapeutically by writing him as a character in my story than having him die quite horribly. "He was only few years older than me."

"Ah…a boy, then." Salazar's eyes gleamed as his focus switched from me to the rapier still propped against the chair.

I eyed the menacing weapon, wondering what he was thinking now. "Probably not far off. He'd never dated anyone either. But he was still pretty much an ass."

"And this is why you have not tried this dating again since?" His question almost sounded like a demand, like he was anxious for an answer. "Because he hurt you?"

I drew back at the abrupt intensity emanating from his focused expression as his hand flexed against his thigh. "Er, kind of? Mostly it was just I never had the time to waste on something like that."

Why was this making him so antsy? He kept shifting stiffly in his seat and it was freaking me out even more.

"This… _boy_." The rough baritone bit out the word like it tasted sour. "What happened to him after?"

Pain throbbed over my forehead, an indication of how stressful this conversation was becoming, and I rubbed at it absently. "Hopefully, he found a nice tall cliff to walk off of. I don't know, and quite frankly, don't care."

Apparently, that wasn't the answer Salazar was looking for. His deep timbre dropped to a menacing growl. "He hurt you…with no retaliation?"

"The world works differently in the future," I explained with a coolness I didn't feel. "People don't duel each other over honor or reputation any more. They don't duel at all. They don't walk around carrying swords. And if a guy is an asshole and dumps his girlfriend because she didn't want him to leave his dog at a kill shelter, nobody cares."

I turned away to stare sightlessly at the wall, hugging my knees to my chest. " _Please_ let it go, Salazar. There's no point in bringing up things that can't be changed."

Tension filled the silence for an unbearable moment, then Salazar muttered, "He would know proper courtesy by the time I was through."

I couldn't help a smile at the thought of Salazar teaching 'courtesy' to my ex. I had the feeling that it would be less teaching and more beating, and the thought cheered me up a little. "One thing I do have to say about Old World courtesy is it certainly makes a girl feel appreciated."

My words had the strangest effect on the Spaniard, making him turn to gaze at me with something akin to chagrin.

Smile fading slightly, I tilted my head to rest my cheek against my knees. "What?"

Dark brows drew together in a fierce look that wasn't quite a frown, but almost. "It is…lamentable, that you have not enjoyed a proper courtship. One from a man that would care for you as you deserve."

Pain unexpectedly blossomed in my chest, like the rose-red stain under a shirt from a gunshot wound. I heard his breath catch and knew my face was reflecting at least some of what I felt.

Quickly, I turned away, not wanting him to see the agony of my loneliness. Most of the time, I was able to keep it hidden away, but his words made it surface, my eyes burning with the threat of tears.

To my everlasting relief, Salazar didn't say anything. At this point, all he'd do was actually make it worse.

I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath, trying to wrestle the agony back under its leash.

"You do not ask many questions about my time. Nothing about etiquette or rules. I know your life is much different than it would be here, yet you rarely show curiosity or vexation about why things are as they are. Why is that?" Soft fingers brushed against my arm, lightly rubbing back and forth.

I shrugged slightly as I turned back to face him, idly tracing some design into a cushion to keep myself from leaning into his touch like I was starved for it. _Which we all know I am._

"I read a lot of-" My mouth snapped shut when I realized what I'd been about to blurt out, a blush instantly burning my cheeks.

Intrigued with my sudden silence, Salazar lifted his eyes from where he'd been watching his fingers touch my skin, head cocking to the side as he saw my awkward flush. "You read a lot of…what, may I ask?"

 _Well, at least this is a good distraction from the aching loneliness. Though I'd much have rather it'd be something else than this!_

My mouth suddenly went dry with mortification and one hand twitched as I fought to just melt into the cushions. "Uhm, books, centered in the Regency era. 19th century. Th-that's how I know about…some of the etiquette and stuff."

I fidgeted and looked away, biting my lip as Salazar studied me with a predatory keenness. I dreaded what was coming. There was no way he was gonna let me get away with not giving him all of my answers, especially when my cheeks were a brilliant red that he couldn't miss.

"Isabeau…"

My eyes fell shut in dismay at the audible warning when he said my name, drawing it out and deliberately honeying it with his accent. He rolled it around on his tongue, caressing my ears with his musical timbre, and I had no doubt he knew he was melting my insides with that delicious voice.

A long groan clicked in my throat, but I knew there wasn't a way out of this.

As if to emphasis the thought, heat burned my arm as his fingers slid around it in a loose grasp, a manacle to keep me in place on the settee.

"Romance," I mumbled, unable to open my eyes and face my humiliation.

"¿ _Qué_?"

"Romance." The word was a painful groan. "I read historical romance. I…wasn't entirely truthful when I told you romance was a guilty pleasure. It's almost _all_ I read, and it's…" _It's embarrassing to admit that to your ungodly attractive face,_ I finished silently.

I wasn't sure what I expected Salazar's reaction to be, but it certainly wasn't the quiet sounds of suppressed laughter.

His hand lifted from my arm and a second later, I felt him tap my nose, making my eyes snap open as I snuffed and glared at him.

Salazar had twisted on the settee to face, his other arm stretched across the back, fingers almost brushing my face as he chuckled.

I studied the cuffs of his coat, my eyes following the well-crafted silvery threads intertwined in the seam as I fought to hold on to my irritation, but I simply couldn't at the sound of his laughter.

I could feel weariness beginning to creep in, but I wasn't ready to admit to it yet. I didn't want to return to the infirmary, to the stuffiness of hot air laced with the tinge of rotting meat and old blood.

 _We could always ask if he'd let us nap in_ his _bed…_

 _Yeah, right. Don't be stupid._

My gaze wandered down his arm, following the elegant lines of his uniform until I reached his face, looking at him fully for the first time since he'd lit on this subject.

Yet again, I was taken back at how utterly attractive he was. I counted my lucky stars that he didn't use it to his advantage. In fact, sometimes it almost seemed like he didn't know how good-looking he was.

I took the moment to study his profile, his focus centered on the book in his lap as he appeared to mull over everything I'd told him. He seemed to take things better in small doses, with time to think things over before asking more questions.

My mind flicked back to the brief feel of his firm lips on mine and my eyes drifted down slightly, to the amused smile still quirked on those lips. When I'd first laid eyes on him, my first impression was that his mouth was made for kissing.

That brief touch had only cemented the thought, and gave weight to the fantasies just waiting to slip the leash.

Even as I tried to fight it, I couldn't help but imagine what it'd be like to be actually kissed by this man, with intent, with desire.

Salazar suddenly rose to his feet, startling me out of my daydreaming with a jerk. I watched curiously as he walked over to his desk and pulled out a small, odd case from one of the drawers, then returned to his seat, settling comfortably onto the settee with a soft sigh. He seemed a great deal more at ease now than he'd been a few minutes ago, which was a relief.

Setting both book and case in his lap, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "So you know much about this time from your reading?"

I watched his chest rise and fall a few times, lulled by the feel of relaxation emanating from him, relieved he wasn't going to poke at my embarrassing confession. "A little bit. I never much cared for reading about the 18th century. Too…regressed, compared to what I'm used to. Plus wigs were still a thing."

Salazar chuckled at the back of his throat at my audible distaste. "One of the reasons I cannot stand going to court. So many frivolous peacocks prancing around, pretending that their ghastly fashion is important."

He waved his hand in the air with a scoff of disgust and I couldn't help but grin at imagining this man being forced to deal with the petty, pompous upper class.

But I couldn't resist teasing him. "You of all people should know that fashion is _very_ important. I mean, look at you! You're so elegant it's practically blinding."

One eye opened to squint at me. "An orderly appearance is not vanity."

The noise I made was in no way polite. "How can you not be at least a little vain? Have you _looked_ in a mirror?"

"Have you?" he countered, both eyes again closed. "Your hair could do with a closer acquaintance with a brush."

Gasping indignantly, I sputtered, "Well, excuse me for having been bedridden for the past few days. If I had a brush, I'd certainly fix looking like I was dragged backwards through a haystack!"

A bark of laughter erupted from his throat and he continued to chuckle as he gestured towards his sleeping quarters. "You may borrow mine, if you wish."

I growled in annoyance at being the source of his amusement, but I was glad to make him laugh, even if it was at my own expense. "I'll get it when I get up."

I yanked out my book and pointedly shoved my nose between the pages, ignoring the quiet laughter at the other end of the couch.

Movement rustled, but I ignored it, needing a brief moment to recharge a little, the weariness slowly making itself more known. I was tired of doing nothing but sleep all the time, but I knew better than to try and fight it.

A few minutes ticked by before I arched my back, stretching the stiffness from my spine. It was a comfortable settee, but not really made for a big Spaniard that took up more than his fair share of space and a lame duck that had to sit sideways.

Idly, I glanced up at my reading companion, noticing he'd cracked open the book I'd picked, and opened my mouth to ask him about his home while he was still feeling mellow.

And choked on my tongue.

The case he'd pulled from his desk had apparently been to protect reading glasses, and the sight of them donned on his face was attractive as _all fuck_.

The thin wire frames should have looked too delicate on his strong features, but instead only heightened the masculine lines to the point of blinding.

I couldn't breathe. I was also positive I was drooling.

As if matters needed to be made worse, he'd untied his cravat and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, exposing those delectable cords of his neck that were making my mouth water.

As if feeling my gaze, he suddenly glanced up and a suspicious glittering in his eyes hinted that he knew exactly what sort of effect he was having on my poor equilibrium.

"Is something wrong?" he asked innocently, that gleam growing stronger behind the silver frames.

For a second, I literally forgot every English word I knew except 'devastating'.

"N-not at all," I finally croaked, my voice cracking to a whisper. _Sweet mercy._ I felt like I'd been punched in the diaphragm. Or that dizzy, disoriented feel of missing a step when going down stairs.

He tilted his head as if in concern, his face perfectly blank even as his eyes danced with mischief. "Are you certain? You look quite flushed."

My breath stuttered on an inhale and I had to look away in sheer self-preservation. Otherwise I was about to get a nosebleed. I almost thought I could feel the blood trickling down my lip already.

 _Ho. Lee. Hell._

I had been _so_ unprepared for that impact.

His smirk was visible out of the corner of my eye, as if the uncontrollable attraction scrambling my insides was the exact reaction he'd been hoping for.

The thought shot through my brain like a bolt of electricity, making me shiver. _This man is fucking dangerous! And he knows it. I wanna touch, but I can't touch…What'd I do to deserve this sort of punishment, universe?!_

I groaned under my breath, wriggling in my seat to try and tamp down the tight, wet ache building between my thighs.

I made the mistake of closing my eyes and the image of the tanned, delicious skin at the base of his throat seemed to be burned on the insides of my eyelids. That tempting little patch of skin that lead up to the thick, mouthwatering cords of his neck, just begging to be nibbled, sucked…

What was _wrong_ with me?! It was just a fucking pair of glasses!

 _Oh, God…_ There was nothing I could do, nothing that I knew of that would ease the ache tightening under my stomach. Not without being somewhere _seriously_ private. _He's too close…all I have to do is lean over and-_

I clenched my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms to distract myself, squeezing my legs together. Salazar might be inadvertently teasing, but I sincerely doubted he'd appreciate me pouncing on him like I was starving and he was a steak.

But oh how I wanted to. Preferably before I spontaneously combusted.

Peeking through my eyelashes to see him studiously reading his book, my breath whooshed out of my lungs like I'd fallen off a horse mid-gallop as the sight hit me again. _Sweet bouncing baby monkeys, take off the glasses!_

But he didn't, continuing to read as if everything was completely normal and I wasn't a trembling hot mess about to experience something that really shouldn't be legal. And it wasn't like I could just ask him to take off his damned spectacles without embarrassing the fuck out of myself!

And then my brain just _had_ to go and make it worse. Of course it did.

An image of Salazar, stretched elegantly on his bed, wearing that loose cotton shirt tucked into his black pants like when I'd first woken up in the infirmary. Gleaming black boots resting atop his bedspread, his glasses perched on his nose as he read a book, patiently waiting for someone to move close enough to untie the ribbon in his hair and see just how disheveled he could be…

Suddenly, it was all too much.

I lurched to my feet, making him lift his head with a deceptively quizzical brow. My face flushed at the faint gleam in those dark eyes and for one horrible second, I would have been willing to bet some serious hard cash that he knew _exactly_ what was running through my not so innocent brain.

Which was ridiculous. It's not like he was doing this on _purpose_.

I shook myself, struggling to think of some excuse as to why I'd awkwardly sprang from the couch as if it was on fire. "I-I think I'll take you up on that offer. For the brush," I quickly added, mind instantly adding all sorts of connotations to his 'offer'.

Salazar kept silent, just watched with predatory focus through those illegally sexy glasses as I moved faster than I probably should have with my injury.

Once past the door, I leaned my forehead against the cool wood of his wardrobe, finally able to let the fierce shudder I'd been holding roll through my body with a sigh. That had been so close. _Too_ close.

What on earth was wrong with me? It just a pair of _glasses_ , for Pete's sake!

I'd never felt like this before, this irrational, irresistible urge to pounce on a man and just _do_ things to him, things that nobody as inexperienced as I was had any business to be thinking. Especially as sudden and unexpected as such a craving had been.

Moving over to Salazar's wash basin, I splashed some water on my face, relieved when that helped cool everything down. At least a little.

I dried off my face and paused, staring at my reflection in surprise.

I'd changed. I still recognized myself, but I was different than when I'd looked in the mirror a few weeks ago. A few months ago.

The girl staring back at me was almost lovely, better eating, more sleep, and less stress having smoothed her complexion, lightening the bruising under her eyes. The dark blonde hair had grown to a shaggy length that needed to be styled, but one would never know that it had been almost shaved at her temples, instead having turned into rumpled curls.

I blinked, noticing that I'd lost weight as well. Glancing down, I couldn't tell under the formless shirt, but if I had my clothes from home, I might even look good.

Grimacing, I plucked at the longer hair that hung to one side of my face, wishing I had a pair of scissors to trim it down to a full pixie cut.

Shaking myself vigorously, I quickly ran Salazar's brush through my hair, studiously ignoring everything but brushing down the curls sticking up in the back. It did look better when I was done, but the hair style was made to be messy, so it only reduced the worst of the frizz and took out a few tangles.

Then I caught sight of the bed behind me.

Carefully, I set the brush down and turned, taking in the beautifully carved mahogany, the inky black sheets tidily smoothed over with the top quilt turned back.

I instantly imagined Salazar lounging on his bed, surrounded by obsidian silk, making his bronzed skin glow against the rumpled sheets…

 _Aw, come on. We just dragged ourselves outta that hole!_

Whirling around, I ducked back into the main cabin, limping back to my spot on the settee.

Salazar glanced up as I passed, but I ignored him, still trying to rebuild my emotional barrier and get the sensual thoughts filling my head to go back under the rock they crawled from.

"Much improved." He nodded approvingly, which made me roll my eyes when he wasn't looking.

The room filled with a comfortable quiet, filled only with the quiet sound of him turning pages every now and then, and my pencil scratching on the pages of my logbook as I practiced random sketches.

After a while, the relaxed atmosphere started to get to me and I began to doze more than draw, comfortably curled up like a cat amongst the cushions.

I muzzily unburied my nose from my sketch and glanced up at Salazar, and was surprised to see he had dozed off into a deep sleep, glasses still perched on the end of his nose.

Unable to help a pleased smile, I twisted and crawled over to carefully readjust his head so he wouldn't wake up with a crick in his neck.

Warmth simmered in my chest as I watched him sleep for a few moments, his sheer attractiveness even now sucking the air right out of my lungs like I'd been punched under the ribs.

I eventually realized I was staring and crept down to the other end of the settee, wondering how I was gonna fit if I planned on catching a catnap. It was barely big enough for a single smaller person to stretch, and there was definitely not enough room if half of it was taken up by a big Spaniard.

But I wiggled my toes under his thigh and snuggled against the cushions, adjusting so that my right leg was on top so I didn't roll onto my injury.

Warm and relaxed, I had no trouble falling into a doze again.

I had just almost drifted off when I felt a warm weight slide over my legs, jolting me awake. I glanced down to see Salazar had draped his arm over my lower legs, one hand curling around my ankle as he shifted with a soft sigh.

Heat suffused my skin, soaking through the thin trousers, and my eyes slowly fell shut in response.

* * *

 **So, I felt you guys should know that the whole glasses scene was inspired from a pic I stumbled across of Javier. I can't find the original place I got it from, so I uploaded it to my tumblr under the same username as here.** blukoffee tumblr com post/186133765825/i-have-no-idea-where-i-found-this-but-courtesy-of (add dots in the spaces and a /before 'post')


	53. Let Sleeping Spaniards Lie

***le gasp* What's this? A title?! Yes, yes, your eyes do not deceive you, this chapter is titled. It will probably be the only one titled. And the reason why is because I, uhm, kinda wanna bookmark it for myself and I'm already having trouble keeping track of who went where. Plus, dat title was just too good to waste! :D (You'll see)**

 **So, I hope you all enjoy this. I've worked on it for a very long time. (One year, one month of posting anniversary) Along with this chapter comes a bit of bad news. It might be a little while before another chapter comes after this one, simply because I gotta rearrange a lot of things after this, and actually _write_. I don't plan for it to be a long break, so hopefully, I'll be back shortly with a new chapter.**

 **That being said, this is the absolute best place I could leave you guys with, so read on!**

* * *

A soft knock startled me awake.

I blinked blearily, momentarily disoriented as to what I was staring at before realizing I'd fallen asleep in Salazar's quarters. More specifically, on his settee.

 _Speaking of which._

I lifted my head, not expecting to see Salazar's longcoat was draped over me, completely covering my entire body, and his arm lying over my legs on top of it. I also wasn't expecting the strange fuzziness that bubbled in my chest at the sight of him so relaxed next to me, relaxed enough to fall asleep.

The knock came again, this time accompanied with a murmured voice I recognized as Lesaro's.

I yawned, not wanting to leave my warm cocoon, but I didn't want Salazar to wake up either. He needed more rest.

Grumbling under my breath, I slid carefully out from underneath Salazar's arm, then quietly pulled off his longcoat, making sure not to jingle his medals. I wasn't sure what conclusions Lesaro would draw at the sight of me wearing his captain's coat, but I didn't want to find out.

I opened the door just as Lesaro was about to knock again, and slipped out, shutting it behind me. One look at his apologetic features and I sighed. "You're gonna make me wake him up, aren't you?"

It struck me as strange that Lesaro hadn't seemed surprised to find me in Salazar's quarters, but maybe he'd heard about my impromptu kidnapping. Or maybe he was just psychic. "I do not want to disturb the _capitán_ any more than you do, but there is a ship sighted without any flags. And he would most likely appreciate it more if you were the one to wake him."

I clicked unhappily in my throat, but nodded. Lesaro wouldn't push the matter if it wasn't important.

Lesaro gave me a small, relieved smile. " _Gracias_ , Isabeau."

Then, with a surprisingly solemn expression, he reached towards my face, but hesitated before he actually touched me. "You gave more than a few people cause for concern."

His eye flicked over my shoulder to the closed door behind me as he dropped his hand. "Some more than others."

I shook my head dismissively, wondering if he thought I'd be offended if he'd touched me. "You're imagining things, Guillermo. He was worried, sure, but you're reading too much into it."

An eyebrow lifted in disbelief and I inwardly cringed.

"Surely you don't believe that? After everything that has happened?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably, but I wasn't about to admit anything and blurted, "Even if I didn't, nothing could come of it."

Instead of arguing further, Lesaro simply closed his eye with a sigh, then opened it again. "Please wake him, _señorita_."

"I'm going, I'm going," I grumbled, then quickly glanced back to Lesaro. "I'm glad you're okay."

Small lines crinkled at the corner of both his uncovered eye and at the edge of the eyepatch as his mouth turned upwards slightly. "I am as well. Though I did not welcome hearing you were injured."

I squirmed uneasily under that stern regard. "It wasn't bad, just a deep scratch-"

"Scratches do not cause the _capitán_ break open doors," Lesaro interjected bluntly, giving me a meaningful look.

The words made me wince guiltily. The man had a point. I shuffled awkwardly and blurted, "I didn't mean for that to happen. I just…fell down the rabbit hole."

Lesaro frowned at the unfamiliar phrase. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head, not feeling like explaining myself. "It doesn't matter. I'll go wake him."

At his reluctant nod, I turned to open the door, hearing him walk away behind me, then heard him pause.

"Isabeau."

I twisted at the sound of my name and looked back at the lieutenant curiously.

He suddenly gave me a smirk, mischief in every line of his expression. "The _capitán_ is also renowned for his control, not for walking around with young ladies thrown over his shoulder. Think on that, if you would."

Muffled chuckles floated behind me as I quickly slipped back into Salazar's quarters, as if the door would keep all my impossible dreams at bay.

 **xxxx**

" _Capitán_." I gently laid a hand on one broad shoulder and nudged, wanting to wake him, but not jolt him from his sleep. "…Armando?"

No response.

I studied his lax features helplessly, always amazed how breathtakingly handsome they were in their severity. The temptation to brush a soft kiss against those firm, tantalizing lips almost overcame me and I quickly reached up to run my fingers gently through his unbound hair instead.

There was only a few seconds to feel startlingly soft silk, then a calloused hand abruptly gripped my wrist, halting my stroking.

Even though I'd been expecting him to do something like that, the sudden movement still made me jump guiltily as chocolate eyes snapped open to meet mine.

I swallowed my suddenly dry tongue and told him, "Lesaro asked me to wake you. A ship's been sighted and they're not flying any flags."

Salazar continued to gaze at me, slightly disoriented, as if he was still half-dreaming.

I stared back, a little in awe of his expression.

It was the expression of a man who was about to yank a girl into his lap and kiss her utterly senseless.

Unsettled with the image that had just popped into my head, I twisted my wrist slightly in his grip, causing him look down where he held me, as if he didn't even realize that he'd grabbed me.

He blinked, shuttering the vibrant heat in his eyes, and released my wrist, allowing me to step back and give him room to stand.

"How long?" Sleep had thickened his voice to a gravelly baritone and I closed my eyes with a shiver at the feel of it on my skin. _Is that how he'd sound if one woke up next to him in the morning?_

Shoving the thought away, I quickly opened my eyes to see him putting himself to rights. "N-not long, barely a few hours, I think. Feel any better?"

He paused briefly, then resumed tying his hair up with smooth, precise movements that spoke of long practice.

A whine wedged between my teeth as he neatly tucked the softness out of my reach before I gave myself a harsh mental slap, quickly tuning back in to the present.

" _Sí_ ," he admitted grudgingly, then added, "You will need to return to your cabin until we can ascertain whether they are allies or not. If they are not, I will have one of the officers return you to my quarters. If they are and they wish to board, I will need you to remain in your cabin until they depart."

I nodded, understanding his caution. It wouldn't be a good idea for the time traveler to slip up around a bunch of superstitious sailors far less reasonable than the surprisingly levelheaded Spaniards.

"Is your leg paining you?"

The concerned murmur caught me off guard and my response was apparently just a second too slow.

Salazar huffed in annoyance before leaning over to slide one huge hand down my hip and along the line of my thigh. His other hand braced against my opposite hip when I squeaked in surprise, holding me still as I automatically swayed away from him.

"Does that hurt?" he asked, lifting his face so that he could see my startled expression.

I quickly shook my head, then at his disbelieving look, added, "It's aches a bit, and if you press too hard it hurts, but Magda did a good job."

" _Bien._ That eases much of my worry. Infection will still be the worst concern, but you are doing well." The tightness eased from his features, though I suspected that if I'd been wearing anything other than trousers, I'd have been flat on my back while he poked around in my leg until he was satisfied everything was in order.

I shivered, glad that I wasn't wearing my pajama shorts. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle his hands on my skin without spontaneously combusting.

Salazar straightened, moving around me towards his desk with long, purposeful strides.

I opened my mouth to tell him to be careful as he passed by, then quickly snapped it shut. Somehow, I didn't think he'd appreciate me fussing over him like a mother hen.

Unfortunately, he caught my pause and stopped in front of me, lifting a dark brow. "What were you going to say?"

I shook my head and tried to make for the door, not about to let slip that I worried he might get hurt, at least not to his face. That'd be embarrassing…

Salazar didn't allow me to escape, managing to catch hold of my arm before I could skate past and pulled me back in front of him, his sharp eyes not missing that I didn't look at him directly. He slipped a knuckle under my chin, lifting my face. " _No, no, no te escondas de mi._ What were you going to say?"

His smooth baritone was so soft that it caught me off guard and I made the mistake of meeting his gaze. His dark chocolate eyes weren't hard and fierce like normal. In fact, the look on his face was almost…tender?

I didn't know what to make of such an intense expression. It made my insides quiver and melt.

Yet made my cheeks flush revealingly and I quickly looked away, mumbling, "Be careful, please…"

It was awkward to stand here so close to him after I'd all but blurted out that I worried about him, that I wanted him to stay safe. _God, this is so embarrassing._ I wanted to just melt through the floor. I was calculating my chances of bolting for the door when he gently slid his fingers down my arm to clasp my hand and lift it.

Lips softly touched the inside of my wrist and I gasped, my gaze jerking upwards to see Salazar staring at me steadily as he placed another tenderly light kiss to the sensitive skin, this time lingering a little. " _Suave como la seda_ …"

Heat flushed through my body, both at his touch and the sound of that deep, sensual whisper. My thoughts instantly grew sluggish.

As I watched, he moved my hand to lay it against his cheek, cupping his face as he leaned into the touch, his warm, languid gaze never leaving mine.

Wonderingly, I lightly stroked his sideburns, marveling at the difference in texture than the rest of his hair. I'd never touched a man's facial hair before, and was awed at how smooth his was, when I'd always thought it would be rough and bristly.

I carefully brought up my other hand to stroke the other side with the same results, fascinated by the feel of his skin as I ran my fingers over his cheeks, his strong jaw, the severe cut of his handsome features.

All the while, he watched me with half-lidded eyes, lips curving slightly as I hazily studied his wide mouth, drunk on this rare permission to touch that he was giving me.

All higher brain functions were completely offline.

The sensations of his hot palms were soothing as they glided slowly up my arms, raising goosebumps after his touch. Ever so gently, his hands continued to wander, fingers tickling over my skin, as he skimmed over my shoulders and began stroking down my back.

Muzzily, I slid a thumb over his lower lip, feeling the silky texture of soft flesh and an answering flare of tingles along my arm. I was all but drugged by inhaling his scent, the warmth he emanated seeping into my skin.

A sudden, intense hunger flickered in his eyes in warning before he opened his mouth and lightly nipped the pad of my thumb, sending a bolt of sparks sizzling a path straight down to between my legs.

The unexpected response made me gasp and I jerked, brain jolting back online to realize just what the hell I was doing.

 _And who I was doing it to._

Arms snaked around me and I was pulled up tight against him, my hands pressed to his chest to catch myself. My gaze flashed to his and my breath caught in my throat at the triumphant expression on his face.

"No, you're not running away from me, _querida_. Not this time."

I had a brief flash back to that night on deck, the same hunger in his eyes now, as he purred heatedly, "You're _mine_ now, and I am going to claim what is mine!"

Before I could even sort through the fiery sparks his words ignited, Salazar surged forward in one smooth movement, his mouth falling onto mine as he swallowed my startled squeak.

My eyes instinctively fell shut. A huge mistake, because it left nothing but the ability to feel.

Feel his lips pressed to mine, smooth, silky, unyielding. Scorching hot.

The strength of his embrace locked tightly around me. No chance of escape.

Feel solid muscle pressed hard against my curves. Firmness to softness.

My sense of disconnection shattered. Liquid sensation engulfed conscious thought.

His mouth moved and sank deeper into the kiss, a potent, demanding pressure that I instinctively withdrew from.

It was too intense! Too much. Too overwhelming. Electricity flew and shivered across my skin, heat tightening muscles and sensitizing flesh.

I couldn't process it. Anxiety coiled in my chest, making me falter.

Armando lifted his head, just enough to whisper against my lips. "You are overthinking. Just enjoy, _mi querida_."

I didn't know _how_! I'd never experienced anything like this!

"Shh, I will show you."

His deep, coaxing murmur soothed enough that this time, I didn't balk when that sensual mouth settled against mine again.

This kiss started much gentler, gradually increasing the pressure until I felt his hunger. His restraint. His desire.

So much sensation. It flooded my mind, reduced my thoughts to a sluggish crawl.

A broad hand glided upwards, branding everywhere it touched. Elegant fingers swirled in the short hairs at my nape, then speared upwards to cup the back of my head. Held me still for plundering. For taking.

My knees wavered, went weak, and he pulled me closer, higher, my feet clearing the floor. A muscular thigh slid between my legs. My arms slipped around his neck. Steel flexed, pressed firm muscle into soft flesh.

Then the kiss deepened again.

Heat, wonderful, drugging, vibrant heat, clouded everything in a mist. That wicked mouth tilted, coaxed my lips apart. Breath slid into my mouth.

I sucked in the heady, spicy scent of him, felt the ghost of it on my tongue.

I wanted to taste it, _drown_ in it. I knew I could. But how?

Muzzily, I opened my lips and sucked his bottom lip between my teeth, nipping just a little.

A deep chuckle resonated against my chest before he gave me what I wanted.

His tongue slid through my lips, a liquid invasion that made me shudder violently. Spice and cinnamon flooded my mouth, branding itself on my brain.

Silky, wet fire stroked along my teeth, my lips, my tongue, tasting me with a thoroughness that left me trembling. Delicious friction that sank me deeper under his touch, under his spell.

Powerful arms tightened possessively, molding my form against masculine muscle, pulling me higher astride his thigh as the kiss changed, became harder, fiercer. Became devouring. Claiming.

My head spun dizzyingly as he assaulted my senses, stirred a desire in me to match his own. Branded his heat inside me.

I felt like I was burning.

Liquid aches swamped my body, aches that could only be soothed by his touch, his kisses. The heavy feel of his body moving against mine. Inside mine.

But his hands remained stubbornly still, holding me tight with almost bruising force, as if it was taking every ounce of his control not to let them wander, stroke, tease…tempt. Sleek muscles quivered with effort and restraint.

His thickness was heavy, swollen, against my belly. A prominent bulge that sent waves of fire tumbling through me, sizzling and clenching between my legs, made fiercer with the powerful muscle rubbing against my core.

The kiss began to gentle slightly, the pressure gradually lessening, until he suddenly lifted his mouth, hot pants feathering my lips as I sucked in air.

I lifted heavy eyelids to see him staring down at me with such desire, such sheer _hunger_ , that I didn't think. Simply plunged my hands into his hair to pull him down for another kiss.

He lowered his head, but instead of kissing me again, he bent, his entire frame folding slightly until I was tilted over his arm, completely off balance. Only his locked embrace kept me from falling.

But I trusted him, trusted he wouldn't let go, as he pressed searing kisses to my jaw, growling in Spanish as he trailed hot lips along my racing heartbeat.

He purred with delight as he felt the quick flutter, and slid his lips down, nuzzling, tracing over tender, heated skin. I gasped when he pressed another scorching kiss right over the racing pulse of my neck, shivers cascading over my skin, and with a whimper, I arched to give him more access.

His mouth curved into a smile at the sound, then he closed his lips on the aching flesh and sucked.

 _Hard_.

Lightning lanced down my spine and a ragged moan slipped from my mouth as he let go of my flesh with a wet pop. Teeth carefully sank into tenderness, not hard enough to cause pain, deep enough to brand.

He sucked again, the rhythm of his mouth making shimmering heat flare between my legs and I mewled in response, shifting restlessly against the firmness of his thigh to try and ease the burning.

Skin throbbed and tingled from his gentle abuse until he languidly laved his tongue over the mark.

Tremors quivered through my body as he wandered back up my throat and I threaded my fingers deeper into his hair, reveling in the feel of luxurious silk.

His low rumble of approval thrummed through me on a wave, leaving nerve endings vibrating and muscles tightening. I rubbed my cheek against his, reveling in the feel of his hot skin against mine, the rasp of his shadow against my lips. Wanting more.

I was rewarded with a light scrape of teeth in a surprisingly sensitive spot under my ear, followed by an openmouthed kiss on the spot.

Molten pleasure shivered and burned under my skin, and I couldn't manage anything more than muzzy pants. I couldn't do anything but _feel_.

Feel as the raging inferno licked and flickered over my body, begging for his touch, for him to ease the raw, throbbing ache. Tingling lightning flooded nerves, tightening my skin, tightening everything even as wet anticipation unfurled under my stomach. My legs squeezed around the powerful limb trapped between them, grinding my core against warm steel.

Lips traced across my skin, the silken flick of tongue, the rough scrape of shadow, until he found my mouth again with a deep groan of pleasure.

This time, he didn't pause to soothe, to calm.

He claimed with overpowering force, bruising already sensitive flesh, captured with fierce intensity. I was his, and he was going to sear that knowledge into my brain with scorching heat until I never forgot it.

His tongue ruthlessly plunged between my lips, over and over, stealing breath and thought alike. I gasped for air and nipped at his lip, fighting to keep from being drowned under the onslaught.

Growling in response, he pulled me upright and jerked me hard against him, using the hand buried in my hair to tilt me at the angle he wanted, then kissed me with a hunger, a ferocity, I had no hope of matching nor resisting.

I didn't try, giving everything I could, taking everything he gave.

 _Dominating_. He dominated with a ruthlessness I was helpless to resist, curling my fingers into his hair and kissing him back with what little I had. My response spurred him onwards, my efforts rewarded when the hand around my waist quickly shifted, lowered and pulled, jerking my hips flush with his.

I whimpered as his rigid masculinity pressed hard into me, fanning the mindless need higher. My legs involuntarily clenched around the thick thigh still firmly holding my weight, a solid friction teasing my core.

The hand at my waist moved, sliding down my leg until strong fingers clasped behind my knee and lifted, pulling me tighter into his powerful frame.

I gasped at the change of angle, following his lead and hooking my leg over his hip, pressing myself into him as much as I could to chase that sweet, fiery friction.

Suddenly, a powerful shudder wracked his frame and he began to gentle the ferocious kiss. Slowly, achingly slow, he eased away, growing tender until his lips barely brushed mine.

His mouth lifted completely and a small whine escaped between my lips at the loss. I managed to drag my eyes open to see him smile with arrogant satisfaction as his eyes flickered over my face before he leaned in, pressing one last kiss to my jaw, nuzzling slightly.

The shadow of his beard scraped my skin, but it was an abrasion that sent goose bumps tingling across my skin in waves as he rubbed his cheek against mine briefly before pulling back.

For a moment, all I could do was breathlessly stare at his face as I struggled to draw in air, drowning in molten onyx.

"Breathe, _cariño_ ," he whispered with a teasingly smug smirk, sliding his hand to stroke a thumb across my swollen lip in an echo of what I'd done with my own thumb.

Reality surged back in on a tsunami wave.

 _What the fuck are you_ doing _?!_

I was grasped tightly against the chest of _el Matador del Mar_ himself, my lips throbbing and raw from his kisses. My arms were wrapped around his neck, one hand buried in his hair. His leg was wedged between mine, thick muscle pressing firmly into the clenched wetness between my legs. I was completely off-balance, one leg still wrapped around his hip, and the only thing holding me up were his arms still tight around me.

Stunned, I stared at him with wide eyes, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

I remembered waking him up, remember telling him to be safe, stroking his face… _and then he kissed me._

 _I've been kissed. I've just been_ kissed.

Armando's eyes, still black with desire, widened at my growing alarm and his hold on me shifted. One hand moved to clasp the back of my skull, fingers rubbing soothingly at my nape, the other encircling my waist, his palm heavy on my hip. "Shh, it's alright, _querida_ , breathe."

My breath was coming in short pants. I couldn't look away, ensnared by his steady gaze. I wasn't frightened, it wasn't fear I felt, I wasn't even sure _what_ I felt. I…couldn't…

I pulled back, dropping my leg, which pushed his thigh deeper between my legs. I shuddered at the sudden press of muscle against my core, the need for distance mounting, needing space to sort through the turmoil. And he was too _close_!

His arms flexed as he ignored my struggles, pulling me against him to soak in his heat. "I'm not letting go, _mi amada_. You'll never let me near you again if I do, and I won't allow that. Not anymore."

His arousal was stiff against my belly, evidence he wasn't as calm and collected as he appeared. I couldn't control the disorienting lurch at the thought of it buried deep between my legs. I knew how big it was, had felt its silken girth in my hand…

Trembling, I stood still, letting him hold me while I strained to process everything enough that I could at least function.

 _Oh. Kay. This is-this is too much. I can't…_

 _HOLY FUCKBALLS. D-did he just- did we just get_ kissed _?! **What. The. Fuck**?!_

Armando stroked my cheek as he watched my thoughts flicker across my face, a half-smile quirked on his lips. His intensely kissable lips. His lips that were still swollen and glistened slightly in the dim light.

And I wanted nothing more than to press my mouth against his until I couldn't breathe.

"Calm, _mi amor_ , calm. You're going to faint." He pressed his forehead against mine as he crooned softly in Spanish, lulling my racing mind. His thumb continuously stroked my cheek, eyes black as pitch with restrained passion holding mine even as my focus wavered and drew inward.

My breathing gradually became steadier as I drew on his strength, the shock of the moment slowly fading. I wasn't even sure _why_ I was so shocked, people kissed all the time. But this was _me_ , a girl who had never been kissed in her entire life, who'd already resigned herself to never getting kissed at all. A girl who wasted birthday wishes and shooting stars on dreams of getting a kiss.

A kiss like the one I'd just been absolutely consumed by.

With a start, I realized that if he hadn't stopped kissing me, I'd have followed him anywhere he'd lead. I would have followed him straight to his bedroom.

The knowledge simultaneously excited me and frightened me; that I had found a man who ignited such passion to that extent, yet the sheer _intensity_ of the sensation too alien to comprehend.

 _Uuhm, hate to interrupt, but you_ do _realize he's still holding you up, right? Like, he's the_ only _thing holding you up._

I blinked, jolting back to the present with a lurch.

That wicked mouth curved into an expression of pleasure as he saw me emerge from my thoughts. "There you are, _cariño_."

"I-I-I gotta g-go," I croaked weakly, immediately sliding my hands from their grip around his neck and cautiously leaned backwards, signaling I was ready for him to let go.

Armando's arm tightened around my waist as he scanned over my face, dipping his head to meet my gaze, studying me for a long moment.

I tried to turn my head, to hide, but his grip on my jaw tensed and stayed my retreat.

Whatever he saw must have reassured him, an easy smile gracing his features as he shifted closer to brush a light kiss against my lips.

Just as quickly, his grip loosened enough that I could stagger backwards, backing up until I felt furniture behind me. I clumsily skittered to the side as he reached out to keep me from falling over, avoiding his touch.

It would be too dangerous to end up in his arms again in my defenseless state.

Unsteadily, I limped towards the door, hoping he wouldn't notice that I was barely keeping myself from breaking into a run.

"Isabeau," Armando called, a warning note in his voice, just as my hand touched the handle.

I froze, unable to turn around, to face him.

"Don't think to try and hide from me. _La Maria Silenciosa_ is not large enough for you to run." Despite the soft tone, there was a threatening promise in his words.

Visibly, I didn't react to his warning other than to carefully open the door and slip through.

Inwardly, a liquid heat bloomed under my stomach with a violence that surprised me as much as it scared me.

The soft click of the latch behind me seemed like an echoing cannon shot that sealed my fate.

* * *

 **Spanish Translations (courtesy of SpanishDict)**

 _No, no, no te escondas de mi_ \- No, no, don't hide from me

 _Suave como la seda_ \- Soft as silk

 **Mah peeps...you have... _no_ idea how long I've been waiting to give this to you guys. And it's made me freak out so much, because you all love this story, and I wanted it to be good, and I wanted it to be everything you'd ever hoped it would be.**

 **This was what I wanted to give you all on the anniversary day, but hey, I'm pretty much late for everything, so it's cool.**

 **Thank you, all of you, for being the wonderful, wonderful people that you are. Thank you _so_ much. **


	54. Chapter 54

**Hehe, y'all didn't think it was smooth sailing from here on out right? I certainly hope not. *cracks knuckles* We've still got plenty more suffering left to endure! *evil grin***

 **Also, I AM SO GLAD YOU ALL ENJOYED THE LAST CHAPTER! Like, seriously, I spent the next almost _week_ squealing with glee over everyone's comments! Thank you so very much! **

* * *

_What happened to staying away from him? What the_ fuck _happened to all our plans? Everything we'd figured out? Because kissing an 18_ _th_ _century Spanish capitán was_ not _on the agenda for the day!_

 _Shut! UP!_

I glanced around, but everything seemed fuzzy, out of focus. I felt blind. Exposed. Vulnerable.

Breaking into a trot that quickly turned into a run, I darted down the corridors, plagued with a sudden sense of déjà vu from the last time I'd ran from Salazar's…no. _Armando's_ quarters. This time, the reason for my frantic pace was completely different.

After having someone's tongue in one's mouth, it seemed almost rude to think of them by their last name.

I didn't stop running until I'd wrenched open my door, slammed it shut behind me, and was safely buried under my covers.

My mind spun dizzyingly. Even with my eyes closed, I could still see his warm chocolate gaze, the heat of his skin under my fingers. The slight pinch of teeth against skin. And then…

 _Kissed._

Teeth and tongue and lips at my throat, on my mouth, devouring and claiming, seducing.

 _Seducing. So that was seduction._

The creation of a fire in veins that robbed thought and sense until there was nothing more important than the visceral, almost painful need for _more._

I shuddered and moaned quietly as searing heat flickered through me again, a delicious wave of pressure more tangible than anything I'd ever experienced. Yet it was so intense that I feared it would burn too hot, leaving behind nothing but blackened flesh.

All the knowledge and small sensations I'd had were from reading books, and things were a completely different scale when a man, a real, solid, intimidating man, was actually touching me, holding me, _kissing_ me.

Armando was real, physical, not just a figment of my imagination. The stroke of his hand along my skin was tangible, the firm strength of his body solid, the fire of his mouth was _real_.

 _Lover_ , my mind whispered with reverent awe. _He could be our first lover._

I shied away from the thought, the word in relevance to me too unreal to comprehend. I knew I was fiercely drawn to the man, more so than just for his attractiveness. I found myself wanting to know more and more about _him_ , wanting things I should never dare to want.

Yet I honestly was contemplating what it would be like to give into the wild bubbling in my veins, the desire simmering under my skin, banked only until Armando coaxed them to flame again.

If his kiss was anything to go by, he was more skillful than I ever would have imagined, and it made me wonder how he'd react if he knew I'd never had another man touch me the way he had. I suspected he already knew it, and I wondered if he was laughing at me and my skittish nervousness.

Except there had been no amusement on Armando's face before he'd kissed me. There had only been a possessive satisfaction, a savage elation, as if he'd finally succeeded in something he'd struggled hard with, straining his patience to its limits. Just thinking about it even now made my mind grow numb.

Thoughts spun round and round, chewing each others' tails as I tried to make sense of Armando's actions. After the almost kiss a few nights ago, and his promise to claim what was his right before he'd kissed the living daylights out of me, I could no longer explain away his behavior as platonic or unintentional.

Not after his teeth had scraped quite deliberately against my skin in an action so sensual I could _still_ feel it.

But how could it be possible that he was interested in me like that? Even with Lesaro's insistence that it was true, it wasn't even _believable_ that a man like _Capitán_ Armando Salazar, the infamous Spanish Butcher, was interested in a skittish wallflower displaced three centuries through time.

It just seemed impossible.

Yet with that kiss, the scorching heat Armando had lit under my skin, it seemed somehow it was indeed possible. Because not in my wildest dreams would I have instigated a kiss like _that_.

And _what_ a kiss!

 _Omg, can we think about something else besides_ kissing _?! I'm gonna burn a rut in my skull!_

To which my brain helpfully supplied all the rumors I'd heard of Spaniards and their…passions.

I groaned loudly and curled into a ball, my cheeks hot against the skin of my legs. There was simply no way I'd know what to do with a man like that, no way I'd be able to follow where such passion would lead without freaking out, no matter what I might fantasize.

Even if I wanted it, just thinking about experiencing such intimacy made me feel panicked. I hadn't been subjected to enough intimate contact in my life to respond how Armando would require in a situation like that. I just simply wouldn't be able to.

I might _want_ to, if said situation ever arose, but I knew myself well enough to realize that I'd never be able to carry through with it. I was just too…insecure.

But that kiss changed a lot of things that I'd originally perceived as being impossible.

 _Maybe Armando has enough expertise that we wouldn't be able to function enough to be anxious?_

Another thought sprang to mind, tying together the feel of his mouth almost bruising mine with his kisses and the heaviness of his weight as I'd been pinned underneath him during his fever.

Blistering lightning shot straight through me.

Strangling an exasperated shriek at my unruly thoughts, I bit into my hand, hoping the pain would distract my mind from creating images that sent scorching heat tingling in my breasts and throbbing between my legs. It didn't work like I'd hoped, only making me remember how Armando's teeth had felt as they sank into my skin, just enough to leave a mark.

Letting go of my hand, I tentatively rubbed my fingers over my neck, strange chills emanating from the sensitive spots that he'd paid special attention to.

Quickly getting to my feet, I scurried over to the mirror, craning my neck to see the damage.

Red marred my skin where beard shadow had rubbed into it, and my lips were swollen into a darker pink than normal.

Odd quivers roiled under my stomach as I pulled my shirt collar away to inspect my neck.

Armando had marked me.

A full-body shudder rattled through my frame as I saw the dark bruise where he'd sucked, bit, and licked, searing a brand into my skin that claimed me as his.

My knees buckled slightly as I continued to stare at the almost purple spot, mind going blank as a bizarre, satisfied pleasure rippled in my chest.

 _He_ bruised _me! Why the fuck is that turning me on?!_

 _You know why…because as much as you want that man, it's physical proof that he's just as interested. And that he doesn't share._ You _remember what he said._

Oh, I remembered. I remembered with spine-tingling clarity.

 _"_ _You're_ mine _now."_

A whimper slipped up my throat as I shivered, then shook myself, trying to shake loose the lurid thoughts clinging to me like water on a dog.

 _"_ _I am going to claim what is mine!"_

I crossed my legs and bent over, the fierce heat ratcheting through my body almost unbearable.

I felt like I was burning.

There was no way I was going to be able to think straight unless I did something about this.

With a groan, I slunk back to my bed, my thighs feeling damp when they rubbed together. _I can't believe…he makes feel like this with just a kiss! One hell of a kiss, yes, but still!_

Crawling into bed, I laid on my back and ran my hands down my body, feeling the heavy fullness of my breasts, my nipples aching. My skin felt overly sensitive, almost painful. I slid my hands lower, towards the source of the throbbing ache, pretending that the hands on my skin were larger, stronger…warmer.

I let myself sink into the memory of Armando's kisses, the feel of his leg between mine, how his arousal had felt in my hand, the weight of his body on mine…

 **xxxxx**

I bolted upright with a loud gasp, chest heaving as I gulped in huge breaths, my entire body throbbing with tight, aching heat.

I raked my fingers through my hair, pushing it off my face as I looked around, still panting. The muscles in my right thigh were tight from being stuck in bed for several days, then moving around, but the aching eased as I stretched my leg out.

If only the whirling in my mind could be quieted as easily.

Complete darkness in my room told me it wasn't even close to morning.

 _Oh great. Even less sleep we get. Thank you, brain._

My brain responded with recalling _why_ I was awake at ass o'clock in the morning.

Erotic dreams. Erotic dreams like I'd never had them before, all featuring a Spanish wolf with hungry eyes and a voice that purred along my skin as he whispered seduction in my ear.

A shiver chased down my spine, hot tingles skittering across my nape, as I absently reached up and grazed fingertips over the still sensitive skin of my throat.

 _Fuck._ I blinked in shock. It hadn't been a dream after all…

Sleep apparently wouldn't be coming again for a good long while. Teeth bared in annoyance at the still dark window, I untangled myself from the covers, feeling an itch for fresh air.

Growling under my breath as I shuffled out of my quarters, I was glad I'd decided to sleep in my clothes since we spotted the pirates as even this late of hour still saw sailors bustling back and forth.

 _Armando…_ kissed _me…_

I wanted, _needed_ to talk to someone, but who? I only knew a handful of crew aboard the _Mary_ , and I doubted any of them would want to listen-

I suddenly perked up, knowing who might be able to help. Now just the problem of finding him.

Cautiously, I poked my nose out of my cabin, looking around for crew. I wanted to know what had become of the ship from earlier before I started wandering around, mindful of Salazar's…no, _Armando's_ warning.

And with this new and shaky ground I found myself on, I certainly didn't want to trigger a confrontation so soon. At least, not before I had a chance to figure a few things out.

From my usual nightly forays, I had a good idea where to locate my quarry, but there was still the unknown factor of that ship. If it _had_ been friendly and there were new faces aboard the _Silent Mary_ , the last thing I wanted was to complicate matters with questions about my clothes.

Grumbling in irritation, I quickly changed into what I usually wore when I went about, then quickly tossed on a coat for additional camouflage. Most of the sailors had grown used to me by now anyway, and other than a polite nod or a smile of greeting, more or less ignored me unless they were off duty.

I made my way down the decks, ever mindful of what could potentially lurk in the shadows, even under a command as strict as Salazar's.

Reíno was fast asleep in a hammock when I found him, snoring away in the quarters he shared with another officer, who had called for me to enter when I quietly knocked.

I never did get around to figuring out the hierarchy on an 18th century warship, even though Lesaro had tried to explain it to me multiple times.

I turned to leave, but the other officer, Santos, gave me a warm smile and nodded towards Reíno's snoozing form.

I shook my head to indicate I didn't want to bother him while he was trying to get some sleep, but before I could leave, the other man rose to his feet and move to clasp Reíno' shoulder, shaking him.

The younger man jolted awake with a snort as the the officer said something quietly in Spanish.

Reíno grunted something in reply that sounded rude, but whatever it was didn't seem to bother Santos any.

Giving me another smile and a polite nod, Santos slipped out of the cabin and closed the door behind him.

I frowned at the closed door, somewhat glad he'd made the decision for me, but annoyed that he'd woken Reíno, who obviously needed rest.

" _¿Que?_ What is it?" Reíno asked, his voice rough with sleep, his long, unbound hair standing every which way.

"It's nothing, I'm sorry," I mumbled, wincing as he rubbed his eyes before giving me a groggy blink. "Look, just go back to sleep, it can wait until morning."

"No, stay, Blue." He yawned and waved for me to come over. "You wouldn't be here unless it was important."

I chewed on my lip as I debated, but when he moved over to make room for me to sit, I gave in.

Carefully, I sank into the hammock next to him, my right leg protesting the unusual movement, but the ache that pulled in my thigh was ignorable. His heavier weight made me dip closer until I found myself having to lean flat against the swing so I wasn't plastered against him. "It's not really important, but it's…something that won't stop bothering me, and…Oh, God," I groaned. _This was so stupid. He's not gonna wanna listen to this!_

"Mmph," Reíno rubbed his face briskly to try and snap alert. "What is it? What's bothering you?"

"The ship passing earlier, where they friendly?"

Reíno blinked again, still groggy. "Ship? Ah, a merchant ship. Nothing to worry about. Come, tell me what bothers you. It isn't about ships, that I can see."

I sighed, slumping dejectedly, wishing I'd never woken up, wishing a lot of things. My thoughts were nothing but a loud buzz of energy. I couldn't even make out words.

"This is so dumb…I don't even know where to start." I stared a hole in the floor, feeling my eyes start to glaze over.

"Wherever the words begin is a good place."

I gnawed on my lip for a minute, then winced when I chewed too much and tasted blood. Finally, I blurted, "Have you ever had like…an obsession for someone? Like it grew from just a passing attraction, one that was completely off limits, to something completely out of your control? To the point where you can't stop thinking about them, that the harder you try to stop, the more they fill your thoughts?"

Reíno seemed almost awake as he stretched a bit, a strange, almost smug look on his face. "A _tendre_?"

Memory flashed before my eyes; of me realizing just how deep my feelings went for that _man_. My eyelids flickered as I tried to figure out how far the definition for that term went. I was only vaguely aware, but I was _pretty_ sure the answer was no. "Not like that. It's…"

He gave a heavy sigh and nodded sadly, ignoring my glance when I shot him a look. "Another heart has fallen at the _capitán's_ feet-"

I jabbed my elbow into his ribs, making him groan. "Don't be an idiot! It's not like that! Certainly not for _that_ man!" I groaned and bent over, hugging my stomach. "It's just, he's _stupidly_ attractive, like there's no way in hell that man should be allowed anywhere in boots. Definitely not with that uniform on! And I try _so_ hard not to think about him, but if I do make it stop, the man pops up out of nowhere and I'm right back where I started! To make matters worse, I've been having these awful dreams at night and-and-and _grrrr_!"

I grabbed Reíno's pillow and smothered my face with it as I felt my skin take on the shade of freshly boiled lobster.

The hammock started to shake underneath me, suspiciously like if someone was laughing. I lowered the pillow enough to see Reíno hunched over, shoulders shaking as he tried to hold in his mirth.

I glared at him darkly. "Yeah, go ahead and laugh, kiddo. I'll be enjoying your misery when it's _your_ turn!"

His laughter faded to chuckles as he wiped his face with a small sigh, still grinning when he turned back to me. "Very well. This… _misery_ , as you put it. What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't want to _do_ anything about it! I wanna get _rid_ of it!" I groaned and tilted backwards to lay in the hammock and stare at the ceiling. "This is such a mess…I don't need this in my life right now. Actually, I don't need this in my life _ever_."

"I've found that love doesn't much care what you think you need," Reíno offered mildly, smiling slightly when I bolted upright in surprise. "It is as willful as any force of nature."

"I-wha- _love_?!" I squeaked, gaping at him in horror. "You've got it all wrong, Reíno. It's not _love_ , it's a friggin' _crush_ , or-or what do you call it an _infatuation_! He's just the most attractive man I've ever seen, is all."

I started laughing nervously. There was no way in any circle of hell that I was _ever_ going to admit what I already suspected.

 _But we already_ did _that…and look where we are now! We've been kissed within in an inch of our lives and-_

Reíno's soft voice interrupted my thoughts. "Perhaps…you should think about when you leave _la María Silenciosa_ , and you would not see him again..."

I hung my head with a sigh. "I…already did that," I mumbled, grimacing inadvertently at the quick lance of pain as the thought flashed through my mind again.

"I take it from your expression that you are less than looking forward to it?" Reíno asked slyly, shifting to knock his shoulder against mine playfully.

I curled my lip and stuck my tongue out at him. "You are making matters worse, not better."

He ignored my pert words and suddenly leaned forward, peering at my neck. "What is that?"

My brain scrambled for a moment until I realized what he was looking at. My skin flamed as a fiery blush spread across every inch of my face and neck, far below my shirt. "It's, er, nothing."

"It looks like a bruise," he said, frowning as he inspected the mark, which still tingled in memory of how it'd been placed.

I tried _very_ hard to ignore the helpless rush of sensation at that thought that I'd been marked and managed to grind out, "That's because it is."

"Odd place for a bruise. Almost as if-" he broke off with a gasp that brought my attention snapping up to his wide eyes. "Blue! Don't tell me you've-you've-"

"I've what?" I flinched at my poor attempt at being defensive, blush deepening in answer to my own question. "It's just a hickey. Grow up." _Ha! As if_ we're _being so indifferent to it!_

"A _what_? Isabeau, who have you been kissing?!" Reíno croaked, disbelief spreading across his face.

"Who do you think?" I snapped, taking a twisted satisfaction in seeing his jaw actually drop, even as I blushed harder with awkward heat.

" _You've been kissing the capitán?!_ " he half-shrieked, quickly recovering from his shock.

" _Shh!_ " I hissed back, not wanting anyone to hear his strangled yelp.

Reíno quickly reached up to pull my shirt collar down so he could see the full extent of Armando's marks, ignoring my flinch of surprise.

Judging by the look on his face, the marks were quite prominent, even if I hadn't been able to still feel the slight burn from Armando's shadow rubbing against my skin.

"What did he _do_?" he whispered, having yet to blink since he'd figured out who I'd been kissing. I wasn't sure if it was from Armando's unexpected behavior or if Reíno had never imagined something like that happening with someone like me.

I shrugged, trying to downplay the bite marks that were probably still visible behind my ear. "Just kissed me. Er, once or twice."

Finally blinking, he gaped at me for a few seconds before he started to snicker. "I take it you weren't disappointed with his kisses, judging from your blush?"

"Shut. Up."

Unfazed by my harsh retort, he shook his head slowly as he tugged my collar back up. "That certainly explains a few things…may I assume you kissed him back?"

"You may not assume anything," I snapped primly, even as the blush grew hotter, belying my attempt to downplay the whole thing.

Reíno's grin widened. "Ah. And did he… _just_ kiss you?"

"Reíno!" I hissed, squirming to try and ignore the vivid memory of a steely thigh hard and thick between my legs, my curves plastered against one heavily aroused male.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop." Reíno waited a beat, then commented slyly, "Must have been an extremely memorable kiss, hm?"

I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face, regretting ever thinking of Reíno's name.

"I am glad."

I peeked through my fingers to see him smiling, not sure if I'd heard him correctly. "Huh?"

"That he kissed you. The entire crew has been betting on how long it was going to take before you two gave in. We never expected it to last _this_ long," he added with a slightly disgusted look.

Which flew right past my astounded self, too busy trying to process what he'd said.

Finally, I managed to stutter, "Y-y-you were _betting_ on how long it took for Armando to _kiss me?!_ "

Reíno's eyebrows shot up in surprise. " _Armando_ , is it?"

"Never mind that!" I was too outraged to blush. "Betting, Reíno, _betting_!"

"Ah." He shrugged with an unrepentant grin. "Almost everyone could see the way the two of you looked at each other. And there is little to provide entertainment. It was bound to happen sooner or later, so why not? Though I must say, I would have much appreciated you to have kissed him sooner."

I ignored the sour expression on his face and hissed, "I didn't kiss him, he kissed _me_! There's a difference! And I cannot believe you actually _bet_ on me like that!"

Reíno spluttered defensively for a second, his cheeks suddenly turning ruddy under his tan. "I-I-I didn't, it-I just, but I-"

"Oh, just give it a rest." I blew out a breath, wondering if my life could possibly get _any_ more difficult. "At least you're not betting when I'm gonna sleep with him…"

The silence that filled the cabin was suspicious. _Very_ suspicious.

"I'm not sure you're able to comprehend just _how_ much trouble you're in right now, boyo."

Reíno cringed into the hammock, looking as if he wished the floor would just reach up and swallow him whole. "It's not – I – _honorably_ of course!"

"Honorably…" I stared at him. "You mean, marriage?"

I didn't think it was possible, but Reíno shrank even more at my whispered words and groaned something in Spanish.

Groaning myself, I dropped my head in my hands, just wishing I never woken up after I'd appeared on the _Bountiful_ , yet knowing I wouldn't change a damn thing. "Stop. Just…stop. I've got too much going on to add that nightmare to the mix."

We were both silent for a moment, but in the absence of sound, my thoughts were noisier than ever. I wished fervently for my phone so I could just listen to _some_ music, or barring that, just a friggin' radio for white noise, but unless a genie popped up from somewhere, I was shit out of luck.

"Why are you fighting against this with such determination?"

I massaged the ridges of bone around my eyes as I tried to figure out how to word my answer to Reíno's quiet question. "Several reasons. For the most part, I'm not even close to what Armando would require in a relationship, and I don't think he'd let me just sleep with him without repercussions."

"I should certainly hope not," Reíno muttered, only to grunt when I threw his pillow at him for him to be quiet.

I glared at him, then continued. "Second of all, I was certain he had someone waiting for him somewhere…a mistress or a lover or something. But…"

I trailed off, chewing my lip as I stared at a knot in the wood. Reíno got tired with my silence and leaned over to look at my face.

"But?" he prompted.

"But…" I winced when I bit my lip too hard and drew blood. "How can a man like that _not_ have someone waiting for him back home? Yet the more I learn about him, the more I think…he wouldn't do that. His honor wouldn't allow it. His own moral code just simply wouldn't stand for him to have someone in his life, and kiss someone else." _It'd be more believable to think that he didn't have someone back in Spain than he would be interested in me, though._

"And so the blind begin to see," Reíno murmured, seeming pleased when I glanced at him. He reached up and tugged gently on the longer strands of my hair. "Perhaps you should ask the _capitán_ , hm? Face to face?"

I grimaced and clicked unhappily at the suggestion. No, I didn't want to talk to that overwhelming, too handsome conundrum. Not until I'd figured out which was forward, at least.

Which brought another question to mind. "How long until we reach port? I know the storm set us back quite a bit, but how close are we?"

"With a good wind, we should reach Isla de Salís the day after morrow."

Reíno's excitement was audible, yet dismay made my stomach drop to the floor in horrid contrast.

The day after tomorrow? So _soon_?

I had no idea what to expect about anything, and with The Kiss to add a little bit of dynamite to an already volatile mixture, I was so bewildered and confused and lost…

With a soft sigh, I closed my eyes and leaned over, falling into Reíno, who immediately wrapped an arm around my shoulders and simply held me.

"I think you should talk to him."

I made a noise that was mix between disgust, scorn, and disbelief, which made him squeeze tighter.

"Let me finish. If you talk to the _capitán_ , then all of this won't be a worry anymore, yes? If you don't, you'll simply make yourself sick, and then where will you be?"

I didn't answer, letting his logic sink in.

He pressed a kiss into my hair. "Get some sleep, and when you wake in the morning, go and speak with him. Don't let it simmer."

I sighed. I knew he was right, but that didn't mean I liked it any more than if he wasn't.

"Take the bull by the horns?" I asked with a wry grin.

He laughed, ruffling my hair as he let go. "Hold tight and don't let go."

I shook my head to throw him off. "I don't know if I'm strong enough…"

Reíno seemed to understand I wasn't just talking in reference to bullwrestling, and slipped a finger under my chin to nudge my face up. "Do you want to spend the rest of what time you have in uncertainty and fear?"

The tumult continued to scream in my head, but I knew I certainly didn't want to live with myself if I didn't at least try. I would never forgive myself if I let this chance slip through my fingers. I could be terrified later. I could feel embarrassment, shame, and whatever else awaited me when the _Silent Mary_ reached her port.

I chewed on my cheek and shook my head at Reíno's question.

He smiled, pleased by my answer. " _Bien_. Now, you need rest if you plan to lock horns with _el Matador del Mar_."

I gave him a tiny smile then yawned. "You're enjoying these analogies, aren't you?"

With a mock gasp, Reíno exclaimed, "Of course! I am a Spaniard!"

I rolled my eyes, then started to roll out of the hammock, only to be stopped by Reíno grabbing my arm.

"No, Blue," he said, gently tugging me back. "You can sleep here. I'll go and fetch another blanket for myself. Officer Santos won't be back for a while yet."

"You sure?" I asked on another yawn, not particularly wanting to go back to my quiet room with so many screaming thoughts in my head, but I didn't want to kick the poor man out of his own bed.

"Go to sleep. I will be back in a moment."

I laid down, snuggling under the warm blanket, already feeling better. I had an idea of what to do. I had a place to start.

 _But what the hell do I say?_

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut before I yawned again. I'd find words later.

My body was relaxed, that deep, wonderful feeling right before one fell asleep. No pain, no aching, just wonderful warmth and the slight buzz of tingling on my neck.

That was my last thought before I sank into an unbroken sleep was that I couldn't wait to see Armando again.

* * *

 **Lol. Like things are gonna go that easily. :3 (Don't worry, it'll all work out in the end, I promise. But until then...)**


	55. Chapter 55

**Hello everyone! I swear to you all, I'm still alive, and your messages have been much appreciated!**

 **So here's the fuzz. There've been some _huge_ changes at my work recently, their work hours have cut back and unfortunately, that meant that my schedule would have changed. Well, I managed to work out that my schedule would stay the same, but I'm now saddled with even _more_ work when I was already struggling with what I had. So that was a huge upset. Also, I need time to adjust to change, and even then, it's not a pretty transition (we were all informed about this in a _memo_ , of all things), so that was the beginning of the roughness. Throw in a hurricane, my boss going on vacation for almost an entire week (leaving me to do even more work and then people got sick and I had to pick up their slack too), and you've got about three weeks straight of no time to write.**

 **So I'm sorry I haven't been able to post, and for those of you that messaged to make sure I'm still alive, thank you very much! Also, extra cuddles to acutecupidity and piratesangel for their assistance with bringing these unruly Spaniards in line! (It's a two-parter because this chapter was hella huge and I couldn't _not_ give it to you all at once!) **

**Warning: _I promise it'll all work out in the end! I swear! Put those pitchforks back where you found them!_**

* * *

I stretched, nuzzling into my pillow with a hum of contentment, wanting to both fall asleep and bounce out of bed. After a moment, I frowned, distinctly recalling that I'd fallen asleep in Reíno's hammock. Yet I was in my bed.

I wasn't completely certain, but I was pretty sure there was only one man aboard the _Silent Mary_ that would carry me all the way from Reíno's cabin to mine, for whatever reason.

 _It's almost like he…doesn't want me in anyone else's bed?_

Quickly, I squashed down the surge of emotions and thoughts. It wouldn't do to theorize anything until I talked with the man, which I needed to do before I lost my nerve.

 _Oh boy…this…are we really doing this?_

I'd made it a goal in my life to never have regrets, or at least to not regret doing things. If…if I let this possibility, even as slim and impossible as it was, pass me by, I would never forgive myself for it. Not when it could grant me all of my deepest wishes, if only for a little while.

Nervous energy suddenly surged and I pushed myself upright, groaning at the slight tinge of nausea at the back of my throat. An ache crept into my left forearm and I rubbed hard at the muscle, knowing it would only grow worse.

Flipping back the covers, I hopped to the floor, my eyes automatically glancing at the dresser to see how rumpled I looked first thing when I woke up.

And every fiber of my body instantly froze.

There, leaning against the small mirror, blocking my reflection, was a piece of paper.

And on it, was the most beautiful drawing of a rose that I'd ever seen.

Mesmerized, I stepped closer, taking in the finite details of the leaves, the shading that made the white petals pop from the background, the slight ruffling of the edges of each petal.

I swallowed convulsively, drawn toward the paper rose with an intensity that I couldn't name. Wordless emotions swirled and sang under a calm certainty as I gazed at the drawing.

Deprived of actual roses, I'd been left with the next best thing.

My hand visibly trembled as I reached out and brushed fingertips against the paper, unsure if it was even real or not, then carefully picked up, bringing it to the soft glow of light from the boarded window.

I wasn't sure what made me do it, but I held it up to my nose and inhaled curiously, only to smile when I caught the faint scent of sharp, masculine spice.

 _Armando_.

Tears burned the back of my eyes at his gesture, so obviously romantic that my heart skipped a beat, kicking back into rhythm with a heavy thud. I never would have guessed that the man could be prone to such a gesture, nor would I have imagined I would be the recipient of one, but here it was, solid, in my hand.

Even with everything that was racing through my brain, all of the sudden, I couldn't wait to see the befuddling man who twisted everything until it was upside down on its head.

Quickly changing clothes, putting on my anklet for an additional boost in confidence, I smoothed the drawing under my hand, careful not to smear it, before tucking it in my logbook to keep it safe.

Then hugged the book to my chest with a wide smile. Armando had given me a rose. I'd never gotten a rose before…

I squeaked happily, then put the book on my bed, tucking it under my pillow, before bouncing out of my cabin.

In all honesty, I should have known right then. Whenever something went right in my life, something that made me happy and energetic and it felt like I could brush the stars with my fingers, it never, ever, _ever,_ failed that something else didn't come along to send me crashing back to earth.

Never.

I went out on deck to stretch and get rid of some of my anxious jitters before I went to Armando's cabin, breathing in the fresh salty air, reveling in the sound of snapping sails, the bustling hum of sailors in the dimming light. I gazed up at the _Mary's_ masts, never failing to be amazed by just how striking and _huge_ she was. She was simply… _gorgeous_.

"Blue! Come look!"

Distracted by Reíno's shout, I swerved over to where he stood at the railing, waving at me excitedly.

I stopped next to him, tilting my head curiously at the dot he pointed at.

"Look! It's _el Cabillito del Mar_!" He handed me the spyglass that was in his hand, barely able to contain his enthusiasm at the sight of the ship slowly sailing towards us.

"And we're excited about this…because?" I asked, snapping open the spyglass to peer at the approaching ship. It was a big one, quite beautiful, but not a match for the _Silent Mary_.

She was simply too magnificent to have any competition on the sea.

"She's the _Sea Horse_. My cousin Ramirez is Lieutenant under _Capitán_ Curarré." Reíno was practically dancing with excitement, looking for all the world like an energetic puppy.

I couldn't help but grin at him. "Tell me more!"

Reíno happily started to chattering away. The _Sea Horse_ was apparently a English second rate ship-of-the-line, carrying eighty cannons, which had been captured by _Capitán_ Curarré. After the war between England and Spain ended, he was allowed to keep the ship as spoils.

From the direction she was sailing from, it seemed she was coming to intercept the _Silent Mary_ from Isla de Salís, which made him all the more eager, as he would get to see his cousin that much sooner. They had been writing letters to each other as much as they could, but hadn't actually seen each other in over a year.

His enthusiasm was infectious, but my curiosity was tinged with unease. A new ship came with new problems. Problems I'd almost forgotten about in my time aboard the _Mary_. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that all captains were as understanding as Armando.

Reíno, in his delight, didn't notice my sudden nervousness. He was too busy talking quickly with another sailor, gesturing towards the approaching ship.

I backed away, suddenly gripped by an unexpected wave of foreboding, dread trickling down my spine with icy fingers.

It was rare I got such a feeling, but I'd learned to never ignore it. Whatever the other ship meant, it wasn't anything good.

I heard a voice call out, and I recognized the gravelly baritone. It seemed my talk with Armando would have to wait.

Activity suddenly increased tenfold across the deck in response to Armando's orders, sending me scurrying for cover under the quarterdeck. It was very much like that first time I'd stepped foot on the _Silent Mary's_ top deck, all those long weeks ago.

Peeking over the barrels, my anxiety steadily ramped upwards as the _Sea Horse_ drew closer, the _Mary_ turning to match direction and speed.

It seemed we were about to get visitors.

This close, the sheer power of the _Silent Mary_ was even more intimidating, making the smaller ship seem like a tugboat in comparison.

But it still had an elegance that only old-fashioned sailing vessels could hope to achieve, its two gun decks still impressive, though not nearly as much as the _Mary's_ three. It made me uncomfortably aware of just how much esteem Armando held, to have what was essentially the most powerful ship in an entire armada, if not the seas, under his command.

 _Later. We'll deal with that later._

The _Sea Horse_ was also a great deal shorter in length, the beautifully carved figurehead of a mythological hippocampus barely reaching the _Mary's_ forward turrets before the two ships matched speed.

Shouts of greeting filled the air, flurries of Spanish flowing fast and thick as the crews set up planks between the two warships.

I caught sight of Magda descending the staircase opposite, his keen gaze alighting on me for a quick second, long enough to acknowledge that he'd seen me, but he didn't give away my position.

I smiled at him in return before he looked away to oversee the men boarding the _Mary_ from the _Sea Horse_. Boots clicked over my head and I glanced up to see Armando descending the staircase above me.

He moved forward toward another man, dressed in a similar uniform, but not one nearly as striking as Armando's. The newcomer's dress and Armando's friendly greeting seemed to state that this was the captain of the _Sea Horse_ , though I was curious as to why his uniform was different than Armando's.

 _More questions for later._

Past them, I could see Reíno enthusiastically talking with another officer, one that seemed only a few years older than him, whom I assumed to be his cousin.

Everywhere, there were men talking and mingling, everyone simply happy to see each other and unwilling to wait until port to say hello.

I couldn't help but smile as I saw just how carefree they all were, the atmosphere the same level of energy as the night that I'd been forced to tell stories.

Then Armando suddenly stilled, his gaze fixing on someone who was delicately making her way across the planks, to be greeted courteously by the other captain.

She stepped aboard the _Mary_ with a smile of thanks, and she was downright _stunning_.

A deep emerald velvet dress set off the glinting green cat eyes donning an exotic face, her features sensuous and striking. Gleaming black hair, glinting blue in the light of a nearby lantern, was braided in intricate patterns almost down to her waist. Confidence and sensuality oozed from her pores and I instantly felt like some dowdy urchin next to someone whose middle name was Elegance.

Her smile was secretive, like she knew some grand answer to the universe, but it seemed warm and genuine, not brittle or leering.

" _Señora_ Saphira Delagio. _Bienvenidos a bordo_ _la María Silenciosa_." Armando stepped forward assertively and his mouth curved into a deep, sincere smile as he lifted her hand and bowed over it, her name sounding like warm honey on his tongue.

"Armando." Lady Delagio's smile widened with pleasure when Armando kissed her hand, lingering slightly as he glanced up at her under his lashes.

These two had a history together.

I could see it. Plain as day.

They had a present together. And more than likely, they had a future together.

Suddenly, everything around me shattered.

I stumbled backwards into the growing shadows, falling on my rump from the sudden clumsiness of leaden limbs. No one had noticed me, no one had seen me, except Magda. No one would notice the strange little creature lurking in the darkness.

If I could, I'd have been grateful for my anonymity. As it was, I was too busy trying to get the blinding pain ripping through my chest under control.

Breath coming in gasps, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it out, but all it did was replay Armando's greeting to the gorgeous beauty behind my closed eyelids.

It felt like I'd been run over by a semi-truck, and my heart had gotten caught on the ball hitch and was being dragged along the asphalt behind it. _Sweet Jesus, this fucking_ hurts _!_

Not even glancing around to see if anyone was looking, I darted from behind the barrels to dash down the stairwell and into my cabin, slamming the door behind me. I leaned against it for a second, then slid down until I was curled up in a ball on the floor.

Over and over again, it played in my head, hearing the purr in Armando's voice, the sultry note in Lady Delagio's when she answered him.

Seeing that scene had crushed something inside me, something that had been tentatively growing, without my consent. I had no control over it, yet it had been too delicate yet to sustain a blow like that.

The sound of shattering glass tinkled through my head and I wondered if that was the sound of a heart breaking.

Then reality came prancing up for its pound of flesh.

I might have been entertaining the possibility of something becoming of the electricity I felt whenever Armando touched me, might have been hoping that there were more kisses in the future, but in truth, it wasn't a realistic hope.

The reality was that I was just something interesting to past the time, an oddity to be amused by until he returned to civilization. And to feminine companions that were actually capable of holding his interest.

Companions like Lady Delagio.

 _She_ was the woman he'd been talking to in his fever dream. The woman whose affection I'd been stealing.

Reaching up with one shaking hand, I felt around until my fingers closed on the edges of my logbook. Agony speared through my chest, arrowing straight through my heart as I remembered what I'd tucked so tenderly between the pages before the world came crashing down around my ears.

I pulled the book off the bed and into my lap, opening it to stare at the rose drawing, the stinging in my eyes growing until I quickly snapped the cover closed, afraid of smearing the beautiful work with tears.

The sharp corners dug into my chest when I hugged it tightly, tears coming faster and faster until I was silently screaming my sobs.

I always thought that the worst part about my crying was that I did it noiselessly, like the pain was so great it simply stole my breath away.

I'd never felt pain like this before. Even when I'd thought about going home, and never seeing Armando…no, _Salazar_ again.

Silent screams filled the air, leaving nothing but raspy sounds of my cries and the sound of me trying to breathe through the thick mucus clogging my nose.

Eventually I had to stop crying. It was either that or throw up. I was already dry-heaving from the force of my sobs.

But the outburst helped at least to instill a numbness that smothered most of the pain firing along every nerve in my body, and to wear out some of the racing thoughts screaming through my brain.

Minutes ticked by as I stared blankly at the wall. My limbs were shaking, tremors rattling through my frame. My stomach felt like someone had sliced me across the abdomen and it was about to fall out on the floor next to me. I swung violently between numb, agonizing pain, and furious, self-deprecating anger. I couldn't draw a full breath.

It took a while, but I managed to get myself under control enough that I felt like I could at least stand up off the floor.

The violence of my reaction terrified me. If it was this bad now, what would it have been like if I'd actually gone through my plan? Had accepted Armando's invitation? Had been able to have a claim on him, even if only temporary?

I knew I could be possessive, knew it was a deeply-ingrained part of my nature, but this was…this was a completely different level.

Air shuddered through my nose as I unsteadily made my way over to the washbasin, not even feeling the usual aching in my leg. Everything was numb except the pain digging sharp nails in my chest.

When I looked in the mirror, I was grateful to see that I'd managed to wash away most of the puffiness. My face was still blotchy, but it was fading, and my nose was red from where I'd blown it on a spare towel.

But all in all, I didn't appear like someone who's just realized what a terrible lie they'd been telling themselves.

Swallowing, I told myself right then and there I'd never let anyone know. Especially Salazar.

When he left port, left me on Isla de Salís, I'd find my own way. I refused to sacrifice myself on the altar of unrequited-

I shook my head, not allowing myself to finish the thought. I could wallow in more self-pity later. Right now, I needed to get away from the still audible mingling of the crew.

Sticking my head out of the door, I saw the coast was clear and streaked down to the mess hall. I wasn't sure how long I'd spent in my room, but it was unlikely that anyone would be down there but Miguel and Jorge.

The whole way down, I held my breath, expecting to run into Armando at any second, for him to suddenly appear around the corner like he liked to do.

The desire to see him fought tooth and nail against my drive for self-preservation. I was too raw, too vulnerable to run into him just yet. I needed to regroup, needed to strengthen my armor, to replace my mask.

If he saw anything, I was done for.

Even the memory of my first kiss was now tinged with bitter self-deprecation. Oh, it'd be a glorious thing to think about later, but right, just the thought of it felt sour in my mouth.

Miguel's kitchen was a good place to camp. The area was open with only a few blindspots and multiple exits, should I need to slip out.

Even through the encroaching depression I could feel creeping up on me like a storm cloud, I was surprised by the sudden whiff of something sweet. I sniffed the air, trying to pinpoint the source, then swinging my head side to side, I snuffled around until I came across two small blankets covering what smelled almost like cake.

I tilted my head and clicked, but the depression was too great, overwhelming even my sweet tooth.

Miguel suddenly bustled through and I backed up, not wanting to get in trouble in case he thought I'd been trying to snatch one of his treats.

Mid-greeting, he paused, then swept forward to clasp my chin between thick fingers, studying my emotionless gaze with keen eyes.

"What happened?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

Displeased, Miguel gave me a solid shake, then said in a firmer tone, "Tell me."

Pain pulsed my chest, but everything else was still numb. I wondered if it would fade any time soon. "I'm fine."

His gaze narrowed at my lie, and I knew he didn't believe me. I didn't care. I didn't have to explain myself to him.

"Fine. You're here, you work. Take bowl."

I wasn't sure how he did it, but minutes later, I found myself stirring ingredients in a bowl, perched on the table, feeling barely normal, so long as I didn't think of anything past what was in my bowl.

Whatever I was mixing looked tasty, like something between glaze and icing, and I had no idea what was in it, but the little licks I'd managed to sneak tasted delicious.

I assumed that the desserts were for when the officers had their supper. Miguel had made four and was planning for another six at least, so with me helping with the frosting, that meant he could concentrate on the cakes.

He promised to leave me part of one, which I could only feel a pinch of anticipation for. He'd tried to make me eat something as well, but I refused. My appetite was always the first thing to go when I was depressed. And I'd passed depression a long time ago.

Time ticked by, and I grew to appreciate my task, requiring just enough concentration that my mind couldn't wander from it. If I stopped stirring for too long, or didn't stir hard enough, it would begin to harden, which I knew would earn me a towel upside the head.

But no matter how hard I tried, that kiss, my very first kiss, kept slithering into my mind, to which I would quickly reply with the scene that had kickstarted this whole mess that was crushing my lungs inside my ribs.

I didn't even know how long I was down there before Miguel set all the sweets out to cool, then disappeared through one of the doors, leaving me alone with my dark and tumultuous thoughts. Over and over again, the kiss and Salazar greeting Lady Delagio replayed in my head, my thoughts so loud that they blocked out the sound of boots clicking against the floor in a confident rhythm belonging only to one man. By the time I heard them, it was too late to hide.

Tingles skittered over my skin and I lifted my head up from where I'd been staring into the bowl to see Salazar step into the mess hall, glancing around before his gaze landed on me.

 _Oh, great…_

My brain dully comprehended he was looking for Miguel. "He just stepped out. Should be back in a minute."

Salazar tilted his head at my flat tone. His gaze sharpened as he scanned over my form, and I knew he could tell something was off.

I also knew that my façade didn't suck that badly, but I felt my depression slipping through.

Reluctantly, I couldn't help but gaze at his face, the handsome features of his Spanish lineage doing terrible things to my insides and my resolve, but I knew I needed to protect myself. Otherwise, this would only end even worse.

Unfortunately, that kiss had changed the rules, and we both knew it.

Still studying me with that intense calm, as if he could read my thoughts, Salazar stepped forward, moving closer into my space.

Holding tight to my numbness, using it as a shield, I looked up at him warily, wondering exactly what he was up to. He didn't need to play with me anymore, not with Lady Delagio on board. So why was he practically standing between my legs?

I blinked, unaware of how close he'd gotten while I was gazing at him until that second. "What are you doing?"

He ignored my uneasy question and bent to put his face level with mine. "Something is wrong."

Unlike Miguel, I knew better than to expect Salazar would just let it go if I refused to tell him anything. I shrugged one shoulder, trying to be as nonchalant as I could manage as microscopic bubbles popped and fizzed helplessly in my chest at having him so near. The sensation only steeled my resolve to distance myself from him as much as possible. I needed to protect myself while I still had most of my pieces together. "Just tired."

He flexed his right hand, then relaxed it before asking, "What did you speak to Reíno about last night?"

I twitched, then cursed myself for giving away my surprise. "Just…things." _So it_ had _been him.._ "Uhm, thank you. For my rose."

Somehow, I managed to smile, and to my amazement, it felt like warm, genuine.

His face softened in response, slowly creasing into an answering smile. "You are welcome, _querida_."

 _Darling._

* * *

 **Why do I gotta do this to myself...why, _why_? Though, to be fair, there is a reason for this, and no, it's not because I love to make everyone suffer, I'm a romantic at heart, I promise you. It'll work out, you'll see!**


	56. Chapter 56

**Just a heads up, nobody panic, but it'll probably be another spell before I can post again. I'd wanted to get the whole section smoothed out (i.e. _written_ ), but I figured I could at least let everyone know I was still alive, and that I haven't abandoned ship. I don't think this story would let me at this point anyway :P**

 **(Also, thank you, acutecupidity, for this wonderful inspiration. I hope you don't mind terribly me paying homage to it! ^.^ Also, for everything else you've helped me with. This story just wouldn't be as amazing without you. Piratesangel, thank you for your insights for all the upcoming plot, and for listening to me randomly blurt plotlines that made zero sense, and for adding twists to it that even I didn't see coming!)**

 **I think I got all the mentions of time correct. But if you see weird/incorrect transitions, lemme know!**

* * *

Silently, we stared at each other for a long minute. Salazar wordlessly leaned the weight of his presence against my willpower, and I stubbornly refused to place any vital organs neatly under his boot heel for him to crush, despite everything screaming at me to give in.

I _wanted_ to give in, but reminded myself of what awaited me down that path. Of standing aside and watching another woman take the liberties I had no right to claim.

Salazar seemed faintly surprised by my demeanor, my unwillingness to cooperate with his silent command, and when it became clear that I wasn't going to give him the answers he wanted, his eyes flicked over my face again, roving downwards to stop abruptly at the base of my neck.

Against my will, a blush started to creep over my skin, warming it beneath his gaze as he stared at the bruise he'd left on my neck.

I swallowed uneasily as his eyes began to heat, a possessive satisfaction flickering in those darkening depths as he snapped his focus upwards to lock with mine.

At that moment, I knew he was dangerous. More dangerous than I'd ever realized. It would be so easy to give in, to recall the burning heat I'd felt when he kissed me…and the shattering pain of realizing he'd never be mine.

"Can I help you?" I was careful to keep my tone measured, and to not address him by name. Instinctively, I knew that doing so would give away that I was trying to distance myself, and that he would take it as a personal challenge.

Instead of seeming annoyed, Salazar continued to study my face as he straightened to his full height, hands clasped behind his back. "What are you making?"

I blinked at the unexpected question. "Icing, I think. It's really good."

"May I have a taste?" Dark eyes looked down at me innocently.

Later, I would wonder if my mind had intentionally sabotaged me, if my subconscious desire to entangle myself with this man had tripped me up. Or perhaps it was the lack of that predatory edge to his focus, as if the two of us were simply polite acquaintances, that had involuntarily relaxed my defenses.

Temporary insanity was the only reason that made sense as I swiped my finger on the edge of the bowl and held it up invitingly.

I didn't know which of us was more surprised, me or him, but Salazar was quicker to recover. Strong, calloused fingers slid around my wrist to hold me in place before I had a chance to come to my senses.

A squeak of alarm stuck in my throat and I could only stare in shock as he lowered his head to accept my invitation, sharp eyes locked with mine.

He paused just long enough for me to suck in a quick breath, then my finger was enveloped in silken heat.

Molten suction squeezed along my finger and I bit my lip hard to keep obscene noises from escaping between my lips.

I'd never felt anything like it.

The wet heat, the stroke of his tongue along my skin, the sheer sensation as he sucked off the icing sent a bolt of tight electricity straight to between my legs.

My finger was released with a small, wet pop and he closed his eyes with a delighted hum, savoring the sugary treat. Then those eyes snapped open and the sheer _hunger_ in them was enough to knock the air right out of my lungs.

The expression I saw there seared what little intelligent thought I had left to ashes. A smolder hot enough to blister skin fixed unblinkingly on my face as he slowly lifted my hand back to his mouth.

And this time, he wanted to play.

Tremors rippled through my muscles as his lips closed around my finger again, but this time he lingered, running his tongue from the base to tip. His other hand came up and slid along my arm, moving to securely clasp my hand, his thumb massaging languid strokes across my palm.

It took everything I had to remain upright as he swirled his tongue around the tip before teeth pressed lightly into my skin, squeezing in warning when I dizzily tried to tug free before I fell over.

He suckled my finger in deep, languid pulls that made heat pulse in an echoing rhythm between my legs. I struggled to keep my eyes open, even as a ragged moan whispered between my teeth before I managed to choke it off.

But he'd already heard it, a wicked smirk twisting his mouth in response even as he slowly withdrew my finger, teeth scraping delicately along the joints, sucking harder still before he finally let go.

Air stuttered back into my lungs and I finally became uncomfortably aware of just how wet I was between my legs. It was more than a little scary how aroused I'd become simply from him sucking on my finger.

Face flaming, I carefully pulled back on my hand, still not quite able to breathe, but there was at least oxygen intake.

Armando ignored my cautious tug, stepping forward until his legs were between my thighs, only the bowl of icing keeping him from pressing against me. And then he gently grasped it, my limp grip sliding off as he moved it aside, his muscular thighs wedging between mine in the vacated space. He pulled my captive hand behind his back, making me lean into him, my breasts pressing against firm muscle. The heat of his body engulfed me, making the tingles stronger.

I shivered as he dipped his head until I felt lips brush against my ear, and with a deep, silky voice, he purred, "I would enjoy another taste."

I squeezed my eyes shut with a whimper, clenching my free hand into a fist to stop myself from grabbing his coat and yanking him down for another kiss. _What is this man_ doing _to me_?

"No? A pity. That was delicious."

Lips brushed against my cheek in the ghost of a kiss before he moved away, releasing me just as Miguel whirled back into the kitchen.

The big man stopped to bob respectfully to Salazar, glancing at me in confusion. " _Capitán_."

Salazar straightened to his full height, towering over me as he nodded in acknowledgement.

Miguel squinted suspiciously between me and the other Spaniard, and I could see the gears clicking away in his head. I dropped my gaze, hoping that the furious blush that was glowing on my skin wasn't as visible as I suspected it was.

 _God, please just let me sink through the floor and just drown. This really couldn't get any worse, could it?_

Miguel gestured to me. "What are you doing to the girl?"

"I was merely…expressing my appreciation of her culinary skills," Salazar answered smoothly, composed and unruffled compared to my flustered, beet-red complexion.

 _Well, we certainly aren't depressed now! Can I die from mortification?_

Miguel said something in Spanish, to which Salazar responded surprisingly in English. "Perhaps she objects to the manner of my appreciation?"

I squeezed my eyes shut on a small groan. Why was he doing this? Why was he even down here in the first place? Why wasn't he with _Lady Delagio?_ After all, she was the one he was involved with-

"Isabeau."

Reluctantly, I lifted my head to see Salazar was focused on me, a wrinkle forming between his brows.

"Come with me, _por favor_. I wish to speak with you."

Miguel was quietly rattling around, watching us surreptitiously, trying not to make it obvious he was eavesdropping.

I swallowed, knowing that this wasn't going to be anything good. But he was right. We needed to speak. And I needed answers. Otherwise…I didn't even want to think of what would happen.

 _But will I be able to ask the questions?_

I took the hand he held out, tingles spreading from where his warm fingers clasped mine. The strength in them was evident, but it was tempered with gentleness.

Yet I still couldn't help but tug experimentally, which earned me a sideways glance and a blatant tightening of his grip.

As he steered me out of the kitchen, Salazar tucked my hand on his arm, a gesture so reminiscent of that last night on deck that it made my heart ache. I wouldn't be able to walk around on the _Mary_ and tease him about singing ever again…

Salazar was silent as he led me along the corridors towards his quarters. He kept his hand over mine, making sure I couldn't bolt free nor drag my feet. I knew this was going to be nasty, and I wanted to avoid it all costs. But I wouldn't. Even though I was battling waves of nauseating pain and bone-deep numbness, I wouldn't.

The closer we got towards his quarters, the tighter his hand squeezed over mine, as if he sensed I was faltering. I didn't want his support, but I sincerely doubted I'd have made it there under my own power.

My leg ached when he finally released me, securely blocking the exit behind me with his bulk. His quick glance didn't miss me shifting my weight off my right leg, easing the ache.

"Your leg pains you?"

I rubbed at the sore muscles that were still knitting, though they were healing quite quickly. I hadn't lied when I'd told him I healed fast. "I think I might have stretched them too much…yesterday…"

Swallowing, I felt my face heat as I remembered exactly what I'd been doing when I'd overstretched my muscles. And where his mouth had been. And where it'd been just a few moments ago.

Green eyes with a feline slant flashed in my mind and I straightened, turning to fully face Salazar as he studied me from where he leaned against the door.

My mouth went dry at the intense expression on his face. I'd never seen that expression before. I had no idea what it meant.

But whatever it was, it wasn't for _me_ , and it was making my heart break all over again.

I couldn't think straight. My mind was whirling, thoughts of the Kiss, Lady Delagio, and the rose drawing spinning around in circles. Shards of pain lanced through my chest. I wasn't ready for this, I wasn't prepared. I didn't know what to say.

Panic was beginning to swell, tightening its fingers around my throat, but I forced down with an effort.

Unfortunately, other signs of my mental state didn't go unnoticed.

"You've become very pale. What's going through that bewitching mind of yours?" Salazar's tone was quiet, that raspy hum to his baritone something I would never get tired of hearing.

I shook my head mutely and looked down at my feet, afraid that if I started talking, I'd spill absolutely _everything._

He sighed, and I heard him move closer. "I don't know what to do with you, _querida_."

A frown pinched between my eyebrows and I lifted my head, finally meeting his gaze.

His sharp eyes were shadowed with something akin to uncertainty. "I try to give you time, time to sort through what you are feeling, experiencing, but I am afraid that it will also give you the opportunity to worry yourself sick. Or," he added, reaching up to press a finger against my wrinkle of confusion, smoothing it away, "come to all sorts of sordid conclusions. That is why I don't know what to do with you."

 _You have no idea…_ I squeezed my eyes shut, the need to just step forward into his arms and let him hold me, kiss away all of my bad thoughts, was so overwhelming that I actually felt myself sway from the force of it. I took a quick step backwards, putting space between me and temptation. Between me and Salazar.

Wrapping my arms around my middle, I opened my eyes to see him staring at me with intense focus, his brows lowered.

"Isabeau, I cannot read your mind. You are troubled by something. But I won't know unless you tell me."

"I..." My gaze fell to where his hand was resting on the hilt of his rapier, watching as his strong fingers flexed under my gaze. I opened my mouth, only to close it yet again. What could I say? Where did I start?

"I have learned," he mused quietly, "that when you are this reluctant to speak, it bodes very ill."

I closed my eyes. It was better if I couldn't see him. Easier.

The silence apparently made Salazar as uneasy as it did me. I could hear him shift his weight before he walked over to his desk.

"No doubt at least some of your worry encompasses our new guests. _Capitán_ Curraré is an old friend. I trust him. He will not see any harm come to you."

I couldn't take not seeing him anymore and opened my eyes, turning to see him staring down at some papers on his desk, but his gaze seemed unfocused, as if he was looking through them. "How much will you tell him? About me?"

Salazar inhaled deeply. "Not much. He is not blind, he will be able to see that you are…different. But he also trusts my judgement, and will not pry where he is not welcome. Most of the time."

The last was added in an annoyed grumble, and I couldn't help a small smile. "Is he the one that gave you the book?"

A snort was my answer.

I started to chew on my lip, then winced when I bit too deep, tasting blood. At this rate, I'd chew my lips into raw meat. "I…heard we'll be reaching land by tomorrow."

Salazar kept his head down, frowning at one paper in particular, before pulling out a map and running sure fingers across the surface, searching for something. "That is correct."

I fidgeted, then cleared my throat before saying hoarsely, "I…I don't think I'll be able to get away with wearing trousers anymore."

Lifting his head to look over my clothing with a swift glance, Salazar hummed in agreement, one hand lifting to rub a finger across his mouth. "Unfortunately, you are correct. I will need to take you to a seamstress…"

To my surprise, bitter jealousy reared its ugly head. _Did you take_ Lady Delagio _to a seamstress too? Did you buy her dresses? Jewelry to go with them? How long has she been your mistress? Why did you ever give me hope?_

A sickening sensation pulsed in my chest, tightening around my ribs and I knew I wouldn't be able to hide anything if he took me anywhere. Even now, after his kisses and his touches, I couldn't resist him, couldn't protect myself. I was too weak, too vulnerable, too unwilling to give up yet too feeble to be able to fight. I was so afraid I would give something away if I remained here much longer. Already, I could feel tiny cracks forming at the edge of my façade as weakness crept in. So I was going to take the easy way out.

"Could…could Lesaro take me instead?"

Salazar had resumed making notes on his map, but his head shot up at my hesitant question, eyes widening in surprise.

Quickly, before he could protest, I added, "You'll probably be really busy, what with visiting your friend and-" My throat seized. I couldn't even say her _name!_ "L-Lady Delagio."

My voice sounded bitter, so I quickly tried to cover it up. "I don't want to be a bother, so it'd make more sense to let me go with Lesaro."

To my dismay, Salazar didn't seem the slightest bit pleased by my suggestion, and he quickly pinned me with his full attention as he straightened.

"Besides," I tried, managing to pull a tiny smile from somewhere, "what man enjoys dress shopping?"

He didn't answer, the beginnings of a frown forming on his face, the papers in his hands forgotten.

I swallowed dryly, looking up at his stoic visage, intimidating and heartbreakingly attractive all at once in his sharply-lined uniform.

It struck me then that his uniform was strictly black and white, the fabric cut to a severe, elegant marriage of fashion and function. Not a thread of gray to be found.

For some reason, it seemed to strike a chord in my mind, of rigid structures and unyielding rules.

Pressure was building, even worse than the time it'd sent me running circuits around the _Mary_. Different. Last time, it felt like some external force weighing down on me.

This time, I felt like I was being squeezed into something tight, constricting. Something making it difficult to breathe. Something crushing me.

I wanted to run. I wanted to be _alone._

I turned my head, studying the huge, inaccurate map covering the wall. The entire world, and I was trapped aboard this ship, swept along with no control over anything.

"I will see if Lady BeKatt can alter one of her dresses to fit you until I can purchase one better." Annoyance was beginning to creep into his tone, as if he was beginning to realize just how much trouble this entire situation was going to be. "If anyone asks about your hair, we will have to say you are recovering from lice."

"L-lice?" I choked as my focus snapped back to the man who held control over my entire future in his hand, momentarily forgetting that I was supposed to be shortening this conversation, not adding to it.

Salazar frowned down at one of the papers on his desk, his disapproval audible when he responded, "Perhaps saying you had taken to fever would be a better excuse?"

"No, it would not! What on earth does cutting my hair have to do with fever?"

He shifted, his patience seeming like it was starting to fray at my outburst. "It is common for, ah, poorly trained physicians to use that as an attempt to break fevers."

For a moment, I'd been able to put aside the backwater practices of 18th century medicine. I made an agitated motion with my hands and couldn't help but sneer, "Why don't you just say I suffer from female hysteria? Perhaps that'd be more plausible?"

Carefully stacking his papers, he shot me a look of warning at my noticeable disgust. "We will also have to work on your language. It is not seemly for a young lady to be subject to such…outbursts of temper. I have been too lenient."

My gaze focused on his short, agitated motions as he set the stack aside and began rolling up the map with an almost defensive amount of attention.

There was something about his attitude, something patronizing note in his tone, that tightened the vise around my ribs, squeezed around my throat. I could feel tremors building in my hands. My teeth clenched and I breathed shakily through my nose as my self-control buckled and cracked.

I tried to hold it back. This was merely a taste of what I would go through, what I would have to deal with in order to adapt, to survive in this new world I found myself in.

But somehow, it _hurt_ that it was this man, more than anyone else, that was the first to start cutting away to make me fit in a mold.

"Perhaps you should ask Lady BeKatt to give me lessons in deportment," I said evenly. Too evenly.

Salazar either missed the unsettling calmness in my tone or chose to ignore it. "Perhaps. Though I would feel more confident in asking _Señora_ Delagio. She is, how do you say, more the lady?"

The image of their warm smiles to each other, so obviously familiar, felt like an impact right through my sternum. The smiles that echoed the very one that was tilted on his mouth right now.

With a splintering crack, all my intentions of being proper, of conforming, of fitting in, disappeared in a haze of red.

 _I'm not taking lessons from your goddamn_ paramour _!_

I bit my tongue so hard I tasted blood. Though it was nothing compared to the agonized rage flowing through my system.

My hands were visibly shaking as a smile began to form on my face. It wasn't a nice smile. "How dare you."

He paused, a sudden, dangerous tension filling the room that would have quailed my temper had I been any less infuriated, then slowly lifted his head to look me full in the face. "What did you say?"

Even though it had been entirely my plan, I railed against the very thought of fitting in with this suffocating, belittling, bigoted society, of forcing myself to conform to their oppressive standards.

"You heard me." I curled my hands into fists and squeezed them so hard my entire body trembled. My nails dug into my palms, the sharp pain not even registering in my state. "How _dare_ you stand there, and tell me that you're gonna fucking take me shopping for goddamn _dresses_ , when you're planning to toss me aside at the first notice! How _dare_ you stand there, and fucking kiss me like it means something to you! How dare you stand there and dictate to me that I need lessons in propriety, pretending you're all honorable, when _you're_ the one going around, kissing women when you're _obviously already involved with someone_!"

I should have stopped. I should have ended my tirade there. I shouldn't have wanted to hurt him, as badly as he hurt me, the only way I knew how.

I knew I should have stopped. But I didn't. I was caged, trapped, restrained, and like any animal, lashed out in my rising panic and fury.

 _No! Stop! Don't say it!_

" _You're no better than the things you hunt,_ el Matador del Mar," I choked, shaking with rage and pain and heartache and fury and gut-twisting regret as soon as I saw his face go utterly blank.

As soon as I spat the words, I knew. I knew there would be no coming back from this.

I shook with the sheer force of my abrupt panic. What had I done? What did I just say?

 _No. No, no, no! I didn't mean that!_

"You think…"

My head snapped up at the sound of Salazar's voice, my faint flicker of hope that I could fix this snuffing out when I saw his face.

It was completely frozen in cold fury. "You think I would… _dally_ with a woman…whilst involved with another?"

Everything in my chest dropped to the floor. Heart, lungs, stomach…all of it.

I stepped backwards, shaking my head, hugging my middle. If I held myself tight enough, I could keep from falling into a thousand pieces all over his expensive carpet. "I-I heard you…I _saw_ it…"

He took a measured step closer, controlled fury radiating from that dangerously powerful body, and I unconsciously backed up several steps. Salazar halted, his face stone-hard, but his eyes… "Say it. I want to hear you _say it_."

I swallowed, my tongue feeling thick as I choked out, "I heard you. In your fever. You were talking to someone, a-a _lover_. Then-then-I-"

"You _what_?" he hissed, stalking closer, eyes black in his fury. " _Say it_!"

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head, wishing he'd slap me or something, _anything_ to make this agonizing pain in my chest to go away!

"You think so little of me, _señorita_ ," he spat, voice grinding like rocks in my ears. "You think I could be such a dishonorable _monster_? To believe, after everything, that I am no better than other men of my ilk?"

My eyes cracked open to see his powerful hands flexing as he towered over me, his body quivering with restraint.

Suddenly, he scoffed. "How pathetic, to think that I would ever have feelings for such an uncivilized, _ungrateful_ little creature like you."

I jolted, the words piercing through my torso like razor-tipped arrows. "W-what?"

My gaze flashed up to his face and the man I'd been falling in love with was gone. In his place stood an intense violence that didn't blink an eye at executing living, breathing human beings.

"Get out…and do not come back. Or need I remind you just how utterly useless you _truly_ are?"

In that moment, I knew he hated me. I shrank back towards the door, the pain finally giving way to numbness. "I never wanted to be here…"

"Then why don't you go back to your precious future and get off my ship!" he snarled viciously, one hand curling ominously into a fist.

A few weeks ago, I would have cowered in fear, and there was still a faint hint of trepidation, but I knew consciously he wouldn't lay a hand on me to cause pain. But his words were just as damaging.

Then again, mine hadn't been any better.

"I'm sorry." The whisper was inaudible, but I couldn't care if Salazar heard me or not.

He panted slightly from his outburst, his looming form still tight with tension, his eyes hard and fierce, but he didn't move as I backed up slowly, carefully, then turned to limp quietly out the door.

I had been cast out from Eden.

And I had no one to blame but myself.

* * *

 **And there we have it. The beginning of the end...just kidding! Though we do have some fair amount of damage control to deal with before we're back to kissy-huggy scenes. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sleep for 12 hours straight. (I wish...only a mere 7 hours of sleep.)**


	57. Chapter 57

**First up, I just wanna say thank you to everyone who's sticking through this drama. I'm really surprised that people reacted as well as they did. And not a pitchfork in sight. I'm almost...disappointed. xD**

 **Peace, peace, I'm just teasing. ALSO, MONSTER HUNTER WORLD ICEBORNE YAY. (Sorry, had to get that out, totally forgot about it last time *le gasp*)**

 **So, this chapter has a bit more in it than I originally intended, but I liked what I added, even though it might not necessarily fit in with the tone.**

* * *

I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. I felt like I was suffocating through the pressure crushing my chest, but I was numb to the pain.

When I clipped the corner of a doorway, not even flinching at the impact in my shoulder, that's when I noticed it. A strange pressure beginning to build behind my eyes, and for a moment, I thought it was simply tears. Then I blinked, realizing that there was a strange spot of static in the middle of my vision.

Tiredly, I slumped, knowing what was coming. It was all that I deserved, really.

The static spread, making it harder and harder to see, until I had to reach out with my right hand to keep from colliding with more walls until I made it to the sanctuary of my quarters.

I sank to the floor, clutching my sketchbook to my chest, and waited. The static continued to spread until it finally moved past the edges of my peripheral vision and I couldn't see it any more.

Then liquid metal, heated to white-hot lava, poured into my skull.

The migraine had begun.

I'd had migraines before, enough to recognize their warning signs and to know what to do to make them easier, but I had nothing to dull the agony that split my brain, echoing the intangible agony in my chest.

If I'd had something sharp at hand, there was zero guarantee that I wouldn't use it.

And I had no one to blame but myself.

The pain in my head was intense enough that it drowned out all my other problems, leaving me curled into a ball on the floor, clutching my skull as if I could crush it between my hands. Not even crawling under the bed into the soothing darkness did more than marginally ease the pain of railroad ties being hammered into soft tissues.

If I thought I'd could crawl to the infirmary, Magda might've been able to give me enough laudanum to force me to sleep, but I wasn't leaving my cabin.

No, I'd brought this on myself, and I would suffer my penance.

Pain lanced through my eye sockets and I began to question my idiocy. My sensible side constantly at war with the stubbornness to suffer for my words, for the inexcusable things that I'd said.

In the end, exhaustion won out. I managed to catnap through the rest of it, grateful beyond measure when I woke up and felt only the ghostly echo of the pain, but even that was enough to make me shudder in dread.

Crawling out from under the bed, I was able to make out that not much time had passed, indicating that it had been one of the shorter spells.

My legs were shaky from being curled into a ball for so long, my right thigh aching in irritation, but I ignored it, instead staring at my reflection and wondering how my life could have gone from such hopefulness to complete and utter shit in such a short span of time.

Then had to snort in derision. Isn't that how I'd wound up in this mess? Gone to bed, dreading to go to work the next day, then woken up on an 18th century pirate ship?

I tossed my head, grimacing both from the warning pang through my head, and the way my hair flopped in my eyes.

I was tired of it. Tired of it _all_. Salazar was right. I _was_ useless, uncivilized. I wasn't entirely sure about ungrateful, but he was probably right about that too.

Reaching into the drawers of the dresser, I rummaged through them mindlessly, then my fingers closed around something hard and flat. Pulling it out, I idly stared at the sheathed knife that had apparently belonged to the cabin's previous occupant, then pulled it out and gazed at my reflection on the blade.

 _Lice…fever…shaggy…unkempt…_

Words whispered through my brain, and though I knew I was only showing that Salazar was right, was only making things more difficult, I slowly raised it up to my scalp. And paused.

I didn't need to worry about showing that Salazar was right. I _knew_ he was right. I didn't belong here. I had nowhere else to go. I was tired of feeling like a victim, and for a while, I'd been doing okay. I'd even been looking forward to the next day with an elation I hadn't felt in a long time. Now, I didn't even know how to fight back.

My fingers clenched on the handle as I stared at myself in the mirror.

No, that's not true. I _did_ know how to fight. Unlike the other romances of timetravelers I'd read, I wasn't _entirely_ ignorant of the 18th century. Just because I was dealing with it in Spanish didn't change a whole lot.

The vague beginnings of a plan began to form hazily in my mind, and I raised the knife once more.

I was flexible. I was able to force down everything that made me myself and pretend I was someone else. I did it every day when I went to work. I would simply do it all the time.

That's all there was to it. Simply pretend I was someone else.

 _And then it won't hurt?_

I paused, then clenched my teeth and began to cut.

 **xxxx**

For the duration of the visiting crewmembers' stay aboard the _Silent Mary_ , I withdrew from everyone. For the most part, nobody seemed to notice, but a few people did.

Reíno was too busy chattering excitedly with his cousin to do more than a double-take, shooting me a look of curiosity, but I understood that I didn't surpass a cousin he hadn't seen in over a year that he seemed to be very close with.

Salazar appeared to not even notice I'd all but disappeared, spending the majority of his time entertaining Lady Saphira and his old friend, Captain Curarré. He didn't even look in my direction once.

I tried to pretend there was no pain.

Lesaro noticed, staring openly at me when I stepped onto the deck in my usual garb, before sliding his gaze over to Salazar standing next to him. He seemed to pick up on the subtle nuances with envious ease, and closed his eye with what appeared to be a sigh.

I didn't let myself care. I went and stood next to the one person I knew wouldn't be bothered by my company or desire to fill the silence with inane chatter.

Magda's keen gaze swept my appearance in one fell swoop, his eyes lingering on my face rather than my hair. I gave him a tired smile and stood next to him as the crews continued to mingle. I had nothing else to do. It wouldn't do me any good to hide in my cabin, Lesaro was busy, and Miguel wouldn't want any help this early.

So I stood next to the impassive doctor and took comfort in the silence. He seemed to use the small amount of quietness to recharge, which I completely understood.

Both ships sailed towards Isla de Salís with a quick pace, Reíno's cousin eventually returning to the _Sea Horse_ while Curraré remained aboard the _Mary_ to continue conversing with Salazar. Lady Delagio, I saw with a repressed snarl, was never far from the two captains. Then again, Lady BeKatt seemed happy with the new company as well, spending as much time hanging off of the new captain's arm as she did chattering with Lady Delagio.

I bitterly reminded myself that I didn't care about any of them. It wasn't my business, and I had no right to pry. It was just like the early days with Lady BeKatt, but worse, now that I'd had a taste of what could have been, had I not been so utterly stupid.

My eyes fell shut on a sudden burst of painful remembrance.

But thoughts niggled at the back of my brain, refusing to go away.

No matter what I did, how much I tried to distract myself, I knew there was absolutely no way I could leave the _Silent Mary_ without apologizing for my stupidity.

Dread began to fester in my stomach.

One of the flaws I recognized in my personality was that I had difficulty accepting blame for my mistakes. It wasn't that I didn't want to acknowledge them, but when I did make mistakes, _big_ mistakes, and accepted the blame, the resulting anxiety and stress could almost make me sick.

And now, I needed to apologize for the biggest mistake of my life.

I heaved a sigh through my nose, making Magda look up from his writings. I'd followed him when he retreated from the top deck and taken up shop in the infirmary, using the opportuning to check in with Altivo, who was almost recovered enough to return to his duties. But mostly I was just hiding.

And I knew it.

"Your hair, it looks…better."

I lifted my head at Magda's quiet observation, then tilted my head forwards, making my hair flop in my face to contemplate the new style. "It does, doesn't it? I'm sure it's still pretty strange to you, though."

He inclined his head in acknowledgement, though his eyes remained curiously on the new cut I was sporting. "I assume you did it yourself?"

I nodded, rubbing my fingers over the back and wishing I could have done a better job. "It needed to be trimmed. The other hairstyle I had requires regular upkeep, and the one time I asked the lieutenant for help I was told in no uncertain terms that it was 'improper', so I had to improvise."

And I hadn't done too badly. I hadn't done anything drastic, simply clipped the half-bob I'd had so that it fell on both sides of my face, and tried to style the undersides better so that it fell in layers. The back had been the biggest problem, but I hadn't been able to summon enough energy to care overmuch.

My hair had just enough wave to it that it didn't lay flat, so it actually looked decent, though I never planned on growing it much longer than this.

"It is…unexpected," Magda offered carefully, then gave me a small smile. "But I cannot imagine you with anything else."

I ruffled my fingers through the strands, fluffing it in the front. "And just think. At one point in time, I had hair all the way down to my waist."

When that caught his attention, I shook my head. "Before you ask, _never_ again. I didn't do anything with it except leave it in a braid all the time, and it looked terrible, not to mention it took forever to wash. Trust me, it's better off short, no matter how strange it looks. But if it does become a problem, it'll be easier to grow it from this cut than the other one."

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief that it looked better short, but didn't refute my statement. It was probably as weird to him as his queue was to me. Probably weirder. "May I ask then, _señorita_ , why you are hiding down here?"

The reason sank heavily onto my shoulders, making me slump under the weight of pain, of regret.

I'd wondered how long it'd take before he asked.

Slowly, I let out a long groan as I dropped my head in my hands. "Magda, I messed up…"

The doctor muttered something under his breath, then set down his quill to lean back in his chair with a sharp inhale. "I assume this has something to do with the new degree of tension between you and the _capitán_?"

I barked a bitter laugh. "Oh, yeah…I fucked up, _royally_."

"How so?"

Lifting my head, I said dully, "I basically told Salazar that he's no better than a pirate because he's stringing along two women at the same time."

I knew it was even worse than I thought when Magda didn't react other than to simply close his eyes.

"Fool," he muttered.

"You're not wrong-"

"Not you, _him_!" he spat. "That _cabrón_ could have prevented all of this, but of course he didn't. Pride and arrogance…" he made a noise of disgust.

I huffed with sour humor. "He _is_ a Spaniard…I really wouldn't expect anything less. And did you just call your captain an asshole?"

Magda appeared to just _barely_ resist rolling his eyes, muttering something in Spanish for several sentences, then abruptly switched to English. "Tell me everything that happened."

Reluctantly, I recounted everything I could to the best of my memory, the cutting pain so sharp I felt like I couldn't breathe. But I needed someone levelheaded, someone who would be able to cut to the heart of the matter, who would be able to give an impartial view. If anyone could give me help, it would be Magda. I felt more guilt at having to ask for his help with something like this, but I couldn't stop now.

When I was done, the doctor had his fingers pressed into his temples and his eyes closed.

I figured it was even worse than I'd thought.

"What are you going to do about this?"

My attention switched back to Magda to see him looking up at me, waiting impatiently for my answer. A groan clicked in my throat for a long time until I ran out of breath. Dejectedly, I stared down at the floor, not really seeing anything. "I'm going to apologize…soon as I find the words I need."

" _Bien_. That is at least a place to start. And after?"

"I don't even know _how_ I'm going to apologize, Magda!" I rubbed my left arm in nervous frustration, feeling the ache surging back to life. "I've had probably the worst day of my life today, surpassing even the time I was on that pirate ship, I've offended the only man I've ever cared about to the point that he probably now hates the mere sight of me, my faint hope has been shattered into a thousand pieces and I just got through skull-splitting migraine. I have no fucking clue what I'm going to do afterwards!"

I sensed Magda's growing impatience, but what did the man want from me? I was so far out of my depth here, I couldn't even see the surface anymore. I barely felt comfortable with people far less complicated after a month of acquaintance, and I had known Salazar only a week or so longer than that. Not to mention there was the whole cultural difference that certainly didn't help matters.

"Do you expect me to pity you now?"

Unlike Magda, I had no qualms about rolling my eyes. "No, I don't. Some _advice_ would be nice, though. Speaking of which, did you know about Lady Delagio?" My head jerked up to gauge his reaction.

Magda's mouth pinched in a frown. "I did - not. I knew _of_ the woman, but that is all. It has been a while since he has kept her company, that I do know. The _Capitán_ does not boast of his…companions. He is rather private of his personal affairs."

My head dropped again. _I was right. There is a past…It's probably better this way. There's no way in hell I could ever compete with her anyway…_

I could feel the burn starting to sting at the back of my eyes again and quickly sniffed, trying to stave off the waterworks. I'd cried enough today already. My eyes were puffy and I felt…thin, and worn. Like a shirt washed too many times.

"I didn't mean to hurt him," I whispered. "I didn't…"

Magda leveled a speculative stare at me. "Then why did you say those things?"

My focus drifted the wall behind him, a knot in one of the boards growing sharper as everything else faded to a blur. Why _had_ I lashed out like that? I knew the general emotions that had led to my reaction, but what was the source? There were so many things to fear, so many things to worry about, so much pain…

I stared at the whorl, my eyes watering as I forgot to blink. Distantly, I heard the scratch of a quill on paper as Magda went back to writing his reports, letting me work out my answer.

So many sources of emotion. Where did they start?

"I'm afraid…and frustrated," I finally said, slowly working through my answer. "There are so many things I don't know about this time…so many things that can go wrong…sometimes, you don't even have to _do_ anything wrong to be punished. For men, it's – not so bad. You have freedoms, you have liberties, you have rights. Being a woman, I'd – I'd be better off as a dog. No purpose in life other than to have babies and indentured servitude, whether to your husband or someone of a higher class, or both. I'll be the first to admit there's not much that I know about this time, but I know enough…to be afraid."

Magda carefully laid down his quill and turned to give me his full attention.

I swallowed, then continued slowly. "I am frustrated because…despite the fast pace of my life, despite the frustrations of my daily job, I had so much freedom. I could travel somewhere whenever I wanted to, no one would care how I dressed or how I acted. My home was my sanctuary. I could walk around in my pajamas if I wanted, I do anything I wanted, and no one but common sense could tell me not to. I could walk around at night, alone under the stars, and no one would stop me. No societal standards, no real restrictions, I was free to do whatever I wanted, within reason. Yes, I might have still worn a leash, but it was long enough that I didn't feel like I was choking."

It felt…good, to clear my mind. To put everything into words. To lessen their hold.

And now for the most difficult part.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I pulled my knees up into my chest, curling into a ball that screamed feeling defensive, but it helped enough that I was able to start talking.

"There's disappointment too…I had – accepted this, whatever this is, his interest. I was going to give it everything I had, give _him_ everything I had, and ignore all the issues with it. I would've-" I broke off and choked on a thick knot of tears before swallowing them back down and continuing, my voice cracking as I spoke. "And then Lady Delagio…she's _beautiful_. She's a perfect match for him. How can I ever measure up to someone like that, who's had their entire life to learn how to live here, to know the rules, and to know _him_. I – I just…I would never be enough. And just when I thought I could be…"

I squeezed my eyes shut, ignoring the trails of tears down my cheeks as I buried my head in my arms.

Silence echoed in the infirmary, broken only by the faint creaks in the _Mary's_ timbers, as we both mulled over our revelations.

"Perhaps you can start with simply apologizing for what you said? And more words might come to you." Magda's careful suggestion stemmed the rest of the stinging, and I looked up to smile gratefully.

Taking another sniff, I nodded, rubbing my fingers harder into my arm. The ache was worsening, and I wished the numbness would come back, but it was fading in and out, leaving anxiety and misery in its place. And we hadn't even reached the end of Day One yet.

I shuddered, wondering if there was a way to escape the oncoming week, or however long the _Silent Mary_ was going to be in port, or at least _somehow_ avoid Salazar to preserve what little sanity I had left.

Magda suddenly stood, placing the reports he was reading over on his desk before motioning for me to lie back on the bed I was sitting on. "Let me take a look at your leg, then I suggest you go and find the _capitán_. He should be in his quarters by now, and you will merely make yourself sick if you wait."

I winced when his gentle fingers prodded at the wound, but I knew he was right. And his suggestion of where to start with my apology was giving me at least _some_ idea of what I could say. I just hoped it would be enough…

I had no illusions that whatever had been slowly forming between me and Salazar still existed, my words having been enough to crush whatever had been left from seeing Lady Delagio earlier, but he still deserved an apology.

Snorting derisively, I shook my head when Magda gave me a curiously glance before turning to stare at the far wall. _What a hopeless mess I am…having my heart broken for a man that never would have given me the time of day if I wasn't trapped on his ship…at least I got one hell of a kiss before it all went down the drain…_

Magda was quick and efficient, probably wanting to get my gloomy self out of his infirmary as quickly as possible, and I couldn't say that I blamed him. I was certainly not fit company for anyone in the state I was in.

"You are healing well. I would say one or two more days and you may start leaving it unbandaged." He helped me sit back up before moving to wash off his hands.

I peered with dull curiosity at the clutter of papers on his desk. "What are you working on?"

"An enigma." A frown made his face appear even sterner before he smoothed into his usual staid expression. "Nothing you need concern yourself with. You have more important matters to attend to."

He was right, but at the same time, I needed a distraction for a few minutes before I made myself sick. I chewed my lip for a second, then offered, "Maybe I could help?"

At his stern glance, I winced, then explained, "I need…a distraction. Just for a second."

Still with a faintly disapproving air, he sat down before suddenly sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It is various cases that have baffled my medical colleagues. Dozens of people, nothing in common, suffering the same symptoms that inevitably lead to death. It was an epidemic that lasted a mere few weeks, but they are unaware of the cause."

"That sounds…disturbing." I would admit, I was intrigued. Maybe my 21st century knowledge might finally come in handy? "Give me details."

Magda gave me a look, but relented. Picking up one of the papers, he read, "Male, deceased. Age, four and twenty. Symptoms began with reddened skin, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, tachycardia. Patient entered a period of remission, where symptoms improved for a period of several hours before symptoms returned, progressively worsened until skin degraded into necrotic sores, organs deteriorated until patient deceased from anemic and septic shock."

Suddenly, he tossed his quill onto the desk in a burst of frustration. "I don't understand! Many of the symptoms are the same, or extremely similar, yet varying in degrees of severity with no rhyme or reason. There is _no_ correlation between the ones that were worse and would die within a matter of days and the ones that lingered for weeks. Some of them had hair loss, some of them had burned skin-" he broke off into a stream of exasperated Spanish.

Something he said caught my attention. "Hair loss? Would that be in the patients that lived longer?"

Magda grunted an affirmative, brows furrowing in a scowl at the clutter of papers.

I swallowed, suddenly wishing I'd left the infirmary when I had the chance. I had the horrible suspicion I knew what was killing those people. "Magda, how many people died?"

The doctor thumbed through a few pages before he stated, "Approximately thirty-four, rough count. Many others were sick with the same symptoms when I received these letters, so most likely more. Why?"

When I was younger, I had stumbled upon information about something called the Elephant's Foot. It was a modern Medusa, unable to be seen directly without lethal damage to anyone in the vicinity.

The Elephant's Foot was also located underneath the Chernobyl Power Plant. Which in turn led to a number of fascinating, yet disturbing discoveries. Such as what radiation does to the human body.

Seeming to realize that I hadn't answered him, Magda glanced up with a questioning look. "Isabeau?"

It took several tries before I managed to ask, "The ones that died quickly…does anyone know if they tasted metal? Before the symptoms appeared?"

Judging by Magda's suddenly pallid complexion under his olive skin, I wasn't far from the mark.

"How – how did you know that?"

I reached out and brushed my fingers over the pages and pages of reports, unable to tell how many people were written on them. "It wasn't an epidemic. It's a poisoning, unlike anything you've ever encountered."

Magda twisted to give me his full attention. "Explain."

Chewing on my lip, I twisted my fingers together as I thought of how to explain radiation sickness to a person that didn't even know what an engine was. Finally, I took a deep breath. "Radiation is…tricky. You can't see it, can't smell it, and it's _very_ dangerous. Probably the most dangerous thing on the planet. These people, were they somewhere specific when these symptoms started?"

"Mmm…" Magda shuffled through a few reports. "Most of them were miners. They were excavating a mineral formation that was of great interest to a scientific society. Since the epidemic began, the site has been off limits."

I nodded. "Without knowing, and I barely know the basics here, but I would guess that it's the mineral itself that's radioactive. The taste of metal is…if I remember correctly, it's usually considered a form of brain damage caused by high, _lethal_ , doses of radiation. The ones that received lower doses, the people that have hair losses and less severe symptoms, probably have a few years before they die."

With a troubled frown, Magda slowly shuffled the papers into a neat stack before meeting my gaze, his expression telling me he already knew the answer. "Is there a cure?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. There are…preventions, but once they've been exposed…"

He blew a long breath through his nose, then rubbed a finger between his eyebrows. " _Desastre._ "

Disaster was putting it lightly, especially with symptoms this bad, but as little as I knew, I couldn't do much more than tell him what to look for.

After a moment of collecting his thoughts, Magda ran me through a brisk interrogation, squeezing out every drop of what I knew about radiation and its effects, leaving me feeling thoroughly wrung out, but by the time I'd reached the end of my knowledge, he seemed somewhat satisfied.

"It is not much, but perhaps…perhaps we can prevent more death," he mused, scribbling down my answers amidst his notes. "Thank you, Isabeau."

I nodded, but it was a paltry gesture in comparison to what needed to be done. Even I knew the wheels of prevention churned slowly in this time, and with something like radiation-

"No." A hand reached out and clasped my twisting fingers, squeezing them into stillness. One long finger flexed and tapped against the back of my hand to get my attention. "No, no blaming yourself for this. _You have helped._ Many more would have died if you were not here, would have suffered needlessly through misconception and ignorance. Now that I can deduce the source of the sickness, I can inform the proper authorities. If you had not been here, I shudder to think of how many more would have succumbed to this…radiation."

My mouth curved into a brief smile, weak as it was, unable to lift my eyes away from my fingers that were tangled with Magda's.

"Though it does raise the question…" As he trailed off to mutter under his breath, I looked up under my lashes to see him staring at his desk, jaw flickering.

"What question?" I prompted, curious as to what he was going to say.

His jaw flickered again before he finally answered, "How many souls have perished needlessly through ignorance? How many deaths could have prevented with your knowledge?"

I sucked in a quick breath. "Even I know that's not a thought to be dwelling on."

"Hm." Suddenly, his head snapped up, then he tugged me up off my feet and nudged me towards the door. "You have been distracted long enough. Go. You have more important matters to attend to. And I have letters to write."

Welp, the distraction _had_ helped, until the man had so kindly reminded me of my impending trip to Doom's Gate.

I whined nervously, limbs already beginning to tremble with anxiety and dread. Magda was right. If I waited, I'd more than likely make myself sick. _Rip off the band-aid, right?_

A finger brushed against my cheek, making me look up to see his encouraging nod. "Go. Apologize. After that…"

 _It's up to him._

I hesitated, fidgeting for a second before finally blurting, "I know you're not much for dramatic situations like this, but I don't know if you'll ever realize how truly grateful I am for you, Magda."

Leaning forward, I gently rested my forehead against his chest in an affectionate gesture. "Thank you. For everything."

Magda inhaled sharply, then slowly brought his arms up to wrap them around me in a warm hug. "You are welcome, Isabeau."

* * *

 **Until next time! Don't worry, Salazar will be back to his regular, annoying self that likes to tease Isabeau soon. Trust the writer. The writer is good. :3**


	58. Chapter 58

**Mah peeps! I am still very much alive, despite some of you probably wondering otherwise. First off, thank you all for being so patient and for your reviews during this lull (A nonnie, I love you, and your words are such highlights for me ^.^). It means so much to mean that you all haven't flipped out at this long break, which was a great deal longer than I anticipated.**

 **So, here's the lowdown. I left my job (quite maliciously, if I do say so myself). Before and after this event, I spent my life doing nothing but working, taking care of my animals, and sleeping. I was falling asleep about four hours earlier than my usual time, and it still wasn't enough. So now that I'm on the rebound from that place (turns out they did more of a mental number on me than I'd realized), I have a new temporary job to bring me some income while I take an online class that if passed successfully, makes it so that I can get a much better, more stable job with a much larger income and hopefully without the sheer abusive insanity of my former workplace.**

 **And now that that's out of the way, let's get back to it! I apologize if it seems a bit off. The next chapter probably will be too as I get back into the swing of the story, but hopefully it won't be noticeable. I hope everyone had lovely Christmases/related holidays, and New Year's! Love you all and enjoy!**

* * *

It seemed like mere seconds before I found myself in front of a door, the sight of which held much trepidation and no small amount of dread.

There wasn't an audible sound of voices through the door, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. My mind was my worst enemy as it instantly plagued me with images of Salazar and Lady Delagio… _renewing_ their acquaintance.

Shaking my head viciously, I took a deep breath, feeling it shudder through my nose, and tried to control the trembling in my hand when I raised it to knock on the door.

It didn't work.

The silence after my too-quiet knock seemed heavy, oppressive, and it only grew thicker as I struggled to build up the courage to knock again.

Before I had the chance to, an achingly familiar voice bit out, "Enter."

 _He said not to come back…how mad will he be that I did? God, my legs are shaking._

 _'Useless…ungrateful…'_

I wanted nothing more than to turn around and run, but I couldn't let myself do that. Not until I'd come to at least _try_ to fix the damage I'd done, the pain I'd caused. And I knew I'd hurt him with my callous words. I'd lashed out through my own turmoil and had only made it infinitely worse.

I'd never wanted this.

After everything he'd done for me, the very least that I owed him was to try and make amends.

If he never forgave me…so be it. It would only be fitting for me to suffer from my own stupidity, at this point. _God_ , I was stupid. Mom always told me she'd never had any stupid children, but honestly, at this point, she'd been lying through her teeth.

But I'd knocked; now I had to follow through. Nothing would be solved by running away this time. I'd broken this, it was my job to do what I could to piece it back together.

Sucking in another quivering breath, I pushed the door open, unprepared for the kick of pressure in my sternum at seeing Salazar sitting at his desk, not even looking up from the numerous papers he was pouring over.

I moved slowly, my legs wobbling as I made my way over to stand in front of his desk, fingers clenched in tight fists that dug nails into skin.

Swallowing was almost impossible, but I managed to wet my tongue enough to croak, "I'm sorry."

Silence rang in my ears, but except for an unpleasant tingle down my spine, nothing indicated he was even acknowledging my existence.

I closed my eyes on a fresh jolt of pain at his coldness, then continued. "I…sometimes, can't control my mouth very well, when I'm scared or-or nervous…and blurt out things I don't mean. I was angry, and…and confused. I never should have said what I did. And I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I never thought you were like that, never. Even when I first met you, I knew consciously you wouldn't hurt me, not intentionally, anyway, even though I gave the impression of otherwise."

The quill continued to scratch quietly. It was as if I wasn't even there. His notes were in Spanish, so I couldn't even begin to guess what he was writing.

"But…no matter what I… _thought_ , I never should have said what I did." I closed my eyes, the stinging growing stronger until it finally slipped out from between my lashes. "Never."

The quill never stopped moving, even for a second. Even when he refreshed the ink, it was in constant motion, his head bent as he paid attention only to the words on the page.

I opened my mouth to keep talking, but nothing came out. Not even a whisper.

There was nothing left to say. No words left to try and fix this. Not from me anyway. Now it was all up to him, if he felt he could forgive me for saying what I had.

Whatever his choice, I would survive. Broken, yes, but I would survive.

My head dropped and I squeezed my eyes shut harder, feeling tears trickling down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

I turned and slowly walked away, closing the door quietly behind me. No sound followed my exit.

My mind raced in circles, trying to think of something, _anything¸_ I could do to help apologize, but I knew the truth. There was nothing else I could do.

Actions spoke louder than words, yes, but sometimes even they weren't loud enough.

I wanted to slide down the wall and cry, or just curl up into a ball and melt into a corner.

But I didn't.

My legs kicked into gear, and it seemed like forever, a sharp contrast to before my apology, before I recognized my surroundings as the _Mary's_ hold.

I scoffed wryly. _Seems like the hold's the place to be these days…_

I shook my head lightly at my own whimsy and found a spot, out of sight, to curl up as I waited for the misery to pass. Nobody would be looking for me for a while, and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to find me. Salazar was the only one who could find me when I didn't want to be found, and that was only if he _wanted_ to find me. And as of this moment, he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.

Thoughts began to roll through my mind on a wave of dark thunderclouds.

Words snapped in a harsh tone echoed in my ears, whispering and meshing with my own doubts and fears. I understood that Salazar had only lashed out because I'd wounded him first, and I knew that to an extent, he was right. I was an oddity here, all of my practical skills obsolete in this time. Anything almost every woman knew in this time, I was ignorant of. But I wasn't completely useless. I'd helped. I'd learned. I wasn't entirely ungrateful. I'd had a taste of what could have happened, what would have happened if the _Mary_ hadn't chanced upon that pirate ship.

I recognized the spiral, the back and forth, and cursed my lack of self-confidence, my lack of self-worth, my anxiety. Trying to kick myself out of the repetitive loop, I concentrated on thinking about the short-term future.

What would happen to me now? Even through my worries and apprehension, I'd kind of been looking forward to being on land, to seeing what Salazar could show me.

Now, I'd be lucky if he'd bother even assigning someone keep an eye on me.

My mind instantly tucked in on itself, beginning to fall into a fantasy of running away, but I knew that that was the height of stupidity, levels of idiocy I knew better than to act on. I knew so little about this time that it was laughable. I probably wouldn't even make it a day on my own before I wound up face down in a gutter somewhere. I couldn't do that to Reíno, to Lesaro. Hell, even Salazar would probably be under a level of guilt I wouldn't wish on anyone.

But I could learn. I could learn how to survive on my own. I could make it through this harsh, unfriendly world, and…and then what? Women weren't give jobs other than to have babies, or what amounted to slavery as a housemaid, and I wasn't about to farm myself out for a husband. What did that leave me?

 _Maybe I can find a bookseller somewhere who needs an assistant and doesn't give a damn about propriety. That would be ideal._

I couldn't help a rueful smile. _At least my earlier thought was right…Salazar does have someone. Hopefully she'll take care of-_

Familiar voices suddenly pierced through thick fog, confusing me until I began to recognize the deep baritones of both Lesaro and Salazar.

I blinked and shook my head a little, trying to throw off the heavy blanket of depression enough to concentrate, surprised at how stiff I felt. How long had I been down here?

Sticking my head out of my hiding spot just enough to see the two Spaniards, I cringed with a silent whine as it became clear that the two men were arguing. My stomach lurched unpleasantly and I wished now more than ever I could understand Spanish, because I knew without a doubt that they were arguing about me.

Salazar suddenly spun to glare at the lieutenant. " _Let it alone,_ Gui."

" _No, I will not! That girl doesn't know you, but I do. And I know what you're trying to do._ "

" _Do you now,_ " Salazar sneered and began to pace, but Lesaro ignored him and continued.

" _This will accomplish nothing but hurting both you and her. She cares for you_ -"

" _You know nothing! She doesn't care for me-_ "

" _I've seen it! I know you are not above saying things in anger you regret yourself, and she has already apologized_ -"

" _Apologies do not erase her words! Do you know what she said to me?_ "

" _She knew she should not have said them. She has admitted to that. Now, you need to apologize for your words_."

Salazar snarled, whirling to face the one-eyed man. " _Why should I? I have no need for such-such impudence-_"

" _She's terrified_!"

They both fell silent, breathing heavily as they stared at each other. I would have given a great deal to know what Lesaro had just said, and clenched my teeth in frustration.

Finally, Salazar stirred. " _Why do you say this_?"

" _Have you not seen her? Have you not watched her? She's tense, jumping at ghosts_ -"

" _Was she not before_?" Salazar bit out in annoyance.

Lesaro made an abrupt gesture with one hand. " _Not like this! It's been growing worse, yes, but not like since Curraré joined us! And certainly not since Señora Delagio came aboard._ "

I heard Lady Delagio's name, and saw Salazar still almost imperceptibly.

After a moment, he murmured, " _It changes nothing_." But his tone was no longer angry. He seemed almost…thoughtful?

 _What was he thoughtful about?_ And why did Thoughtful Salazar practically terrify me?

Lesaro wasn't placated by the slight change in mood. " _I would contemplate very carefully how you will feel when she does leave. And if you do not like that outcome, I would suggest fixing this before you no longer can_."

Salazar literally growled as he stomped past Lesaro in his angry pacing, all traces of thoughtfulness gone.

But the one-eyed man wasn't done yet. " _Have you thought about it, Armando? Another man will one day touch her, taste her, another man is eventually going to claim her as his own_. _Are you willing to let that stand_?"

I sucked in a breath as Salazar's eyes lit with an inhuman fury. His whole body tensed and for one incredible instant, I honestly believed he was about to punch Lesaro.

He caught himself at the last second, teeth clenched from the strain on his control as he flexed his hand. " _That does not matter_ -"

" _Does not matter_? _You can barely stand to even think about it_!"

" _She does not want me_!" Salazar snapped, his entire body rigid with tension. " _She was merely infatuated with the infamous Spanish Butcher, but now she's showing her true colors. She is no better than those bitter snakes that slink around us at court!_ "

Lesaro stared at him silently for a moment, then said, " _I think it's past time you stopped lying to yourself_. _The both of you. Before it is too late. I will not stand for you to give up without a fight, especially knowing of your hardheadedness, but I will also not simply watch as you tear each other to bloody ribbons because you both have too much pride. You have already seen her true colors, my friend. I suggest you think on why she's hiding them now._ "

With a glare that by all rights should have singed the other man into a crisp, Salazar remained silent as Lesaro stalked away, the lieutenant's face twisted in annoyed disgust.

After a minute of silence, Salazar let out a deep noise of irritation, his handsome face locked in a dark scowl. I couldn't help but stare helplessly at him, knowing that when I saw him next, I wouldn't be allowed to look at him like this.

Suddenly, he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling, letting out an almost tired sigh, his expression changing to one of weariness. He stood like that for only a few seconds before straightening, tugging at his cuffs before turning smartly on his heel and striding from the hold.

Air left my lungs in a heavy rush, loud in the sudden silence of the hold, as I struggled to comprehend what had just occurred.

Something _important_ had just been discussed, something that would have explained many things, but not for the last time, I cursed inwardly at not having learned Spanish. Averse to the language or not, that would be one of the first things I'd be correcting as soon as I could.

Nothing further would come of me hiding in the hold, though, and I'd been sufficiently distracted from my thoughts. Whatever the two men had said to each other, I would more than likely never find out, and the thought made me sigh heavily.

I lingered a few minutes longer in my hiding spot, just to be careful, then pulled myself up wearily. I couldn't keep doing this…the constant up and down of emotions, the snapping from depression to anxiety, the sheer bleakness that was now my future.

The dark eyes of depression gleamed at me from the back of my mind, but I ignored it. I was already struggling without letting those thoughts in.

Cold felt like a permanent frost in my bones, though I couldn't tell whether it was physical or emotion. Most likely both.

Numbly, I made my way back to my cabin, not knowing really what to do with myself. There was nothing really _to_ do, except go back to my quarters and wait. I wasn't even sure what time it was, what day it was…my senses were all skewed. Even wandering the familiar halls of the _Mary_ was accompanied with a feeling of disconnection.

It seemed so surreal, that just over a month ago, I'd been living in a world that would seem like some drug-induced fantasy to anyone around me.

My memories were gradually starting to fade. I'd noticed it the other day, when I had to pause for a second to recall what my mother's face looked like, the name of my dog. I'd never had the best memory anyway, so many things coming and going in my life that it was a struggle to remember it all. Stress and lack of sleep had also butchered my recall, but the full amount of sleep I'd been getting in the last few weeks had helped with my long-term memory quite a bit. Enough to realize that things were growing fuzzier as I adjusted more to life here.

Could I ever go home? Would whatever insane event that had occurred to plop me in the 18th century spit me back out in the 21st? Would time have passed? Would I wake up the same day I'd fallen asleep?

 _Would I ever be able to love again?_

I shook my head. That last wasn't something to ponder on in my current state.

I almost ran into my door before I lifted my head, blinking at the suddenly materialization of the wooden barrier, then pushed it open.

I'd been happy here, yes, able to catch up on my sleep and relax from the insane hell of my job, but I was also constantly plagued with almost the same levels of anxiety, accompanied with drastic swings into depression.

Sitting on the bed, I glanced down and saw that the inside of my left arm was covered with scratch marks.

Sighing, I rubbed gently at the marks, soothing the rawness of my skin. It wouldn't do to have bloody streaks staining my sleeve.

I pulled my logbook into my lap, opening it to my rose.

Depression flexed its claws deeper.

The dark lines blurred before my eyes, the picture granulating until all I could see was a shadowy form on the paper. I couldn't tell if it was because I hadn't blinked for so long or if my eyes were watering. I never wanted to leave my cabin again. Not even for the lure of cool, sweet night air.

The unexpected knock yanked me out of my thoughts, dropping me back to reality with a brutal thud. I'd been so out of it I hadn't even jumped at the noise.

The knock came again, quiet yet firm.

I didn't recognize who it was, and wariness was audible in my tone when I called that the door was unlocked.

There was only a faint thread of relief that dulled depression's claws, but it was there when I saw who opened the door. I gave a tiny smile at the sight of the lieutenant, who returned the expression with an almost weary one.

He cleared his throat, then said, "I brought this for you to try on. I know it is - not what you are used to, but it will be far easier than…"

I tilted my head when he gestured to my current clothing, then realized that the bundle of cloth he held over his arm was one of Lady BeKatt's dress.

I remembered that dress, too. It was the dark blue one she'd worn to dinner Salazar had stolen my pineapple and I'd told him I was from the future.

How so much happened since then…

I shook my head slightly, knowing now was not the time to get sucked under again, and wrinkled my nose in distaste at the huge swaths of fabric.

Up until now, I'd managed to avoid being subjected to such inhuman cruelty, but apparently, no longer.

Lesaro offered a sympathetic look. "It will most likely fit poorly. _Señora_ BeKatt tried to adjust it to fit better, but it was difficult to guess your size. I was not able to obtain a…" he coughed and a ruddy tinge reddened on his olive skin, "a corset, but it will help for when you disembark. Come."

Reluctantly, I stood and stared at the harmless looking bundle like it was a poisonous snake. "Guillermo…"

"I know, Isabeau." He laid the dress over the back of the chair and draped several more items on top of it. "But there are already questions that the _capitán_ cannot answer, and this will help dissuade more. Come, I will help you."

With a great deal of blushing on my part and Lesaro keeping his back turned unless I was stuck, it was decided it would be best if I left my chest bound, and to my eternal relief, I was able to keep my underwear on underneath and no one could even tell.

Luckily, Lady BeKatt had good taste in materials, so even though she had a limited wardrobe to choose from, she had been kind enough to give me the softest fabrics she had available, which I fully appreciated.

 _I wonder if she'd like a drawing in return? I should ask her sometime. My art is too modern for this time, but I might be able to arrange something._

Finally, everything was as in place as it could be with the ill-fitting clothes and the horrible fashion of the time. As I looked down at the plunging neckline, I was reminded once more why I didn't care for the 18th century in the slightest.

"Guillermo, this…" I grimaced and tugged at the neckline again, unhappy with showing so much chest. "This isn't going to end well."

Lesaro made a noise in his throat as he straightened the skirts, then glanced over me with a keen eye. "It will do…What do you mean?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably, then forced myself to remain still when he gave me a sharp look. With a sigh, I explained, "I don't…even back home, I didn't wear dresses. I rarely wore skirts. And to put me in a dress that's more bondage than something actually for public viewing is…it's uncomfortable."

But it was bigger than that. It was what the dress represented, what I would have to do, and frankly, it _terrified_ me. Back home, I knew things. I was resourceful, I had skills that were useful to that world. But here? Here, I was utterly _useless_. I would learn, yes, and I had learned a bit while I'd been aboard the _Mary_ , but it wasn't enough.

Salazar had been right.

Lesaro opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think the better of it and closed his mouth, simply rising up from where he'd knelt to straighten the skirts. He reached out and hesitated only for an instant before taking my hands with his much larger ones.

I hiccuped a breath before looking up, tilting my head slightly. It surprised me how much bigger his hands were than mine. And they were so warm, and calloused, yet gentle. A kind man's hands.

His eye flickered between mine as he searched for something, then finally, he said, "I know that this probably frightens you, being in such a strange place as Isla de Salís, but you are safe under the _capitán's_ protection, despite his current…animosity."

I blinked, surprised at how easily he'd managed to guess the root of many of my concerns. Was I really that easy to read?

He gave my hands a gentle squeeze, then continued. "As for his accusations…he didn't mean them either, though I believe that the both of you are hurting from what was said."

My eyes began to burn and I dropped my gaze in shame.

"Give him time, and _por favor_ ," he squeezed my fingers again and lifted both his hands to brush a quick kiss over the back of my knuckles, "don't give up on him."

Shaking my head, I tried to pull my hands free, wishing he hadn't brought that up. "It's not my place, Guillermo. It's not my right."

The older man was silent for a long, long minute, his eye scanning over my face. The sheer intensity made me fidget awkwardly, but I managed to stay still under his perusal. What was he looking for?

I wasn't sure what made me ask, but I needed to know. "Do you still think I would be a good match, Guillermo? Because I highly doubt it at this point. For a moment, I thought-" I broke off and shook my head.

Surprisingly, Lesaro's face darkened in anger, and I wondered if he was thinking about the verbal berating he'd given Salazar earlier. "I do, yes. I think you would match him well, with more confidence. But that is something that grows for you, I think, with time. We had a - discussion, earlier, that should prove to be…effectual."

 _Yep, they were arguing about me. Not embarrassing at all._

Abruptly, he inhaled deeply, a huge breath that emphasized the broad chest under his black and grey uniform. " _Es un idiota_."

I cocked my head slightly. "Who'd you just call an idiot?"

That earned me a reproachful look. "You know exactly who I just called an idiot."

I couldn't help but smile at his exasperation, then remembered Magda's similar assertion. "It seems to be going around…"

"For good reason!" Lesaro let my hands slide free and exhaled a sharp breath. " _Madre de Dios_ , I will never understand how that man, for as brilliant as he is, can be so stupid!"

I burst into laughter at that. I couldn't help it. The entire situation was completely ridiculous and terrifying and hilarious.

With a silent growl, the claws digging into me eased free and slunk to the back of my mind.

Feeling so much better, I gestured helplessly at the hideously clunky skirts that were made stupidly ungainly by several layers of petticoats. Sweet bouncing baby monkeys, but how had women not revolted by now.

"This isn't merely uncomfortable, Guillermo. This is downright cruel." I gave him the biggest set of puppy dog eyes I'd ever tried, with a pathetic pout to wrap it up. "Do I have to wear this? I can pass as a boy!"

He chuckled and gave me a soft tap on the cheek. "I very much doubt it, Isabeau. Very much indeed."

I scrunched my nose and he tucked my hair behind my ear with one finger, making me smile instead. His eye studied me again before crinkling with delight.

"The shadows have left," he murmured, then stroked a thumb over my cheek. "Give events time to settle, Isabeau. Let them rest into the new sway, and then we will revisit this, hm? Oh, and I have some funds set aside for you as well. You will have an escort whenever you are not on board, and they may help you with calculating the correct amount of currency."

I winced. No matter how many times he'd patiently explained it, currency exchange with Spanish reals was a process I simply couldn't grasp.

Suddenly, I realized just how much they'd done for me, especially Lesaro and Reíno. They'd been incredibly patient, and had rarely gotten annoyed with my struggle to grasp concepts that went against the very grain of my being.

To my horror, I could feel my eyes watering for the second time in twenty-four hours. "Thank you, Guillermo. For…everything."

I heard a soft exclamation and the next thing I knew, I was wrapped in a gentle hug.

 _He even gives hugs like a teddy bear._ I choked back a sob as I wrapped my arms around his torso, closing my eyes.

The one time I'd hugged Magda, it'd been stilted and a bit awkward. Reíno felt like I was hugging an affectionate family relative. Salazar's hugs were by far my favorite, but Lesaro's would always be a close second.

I sighed deeply, letting the tension drain from my body as I soaked in the comfort of his embrace. He was just an inch or two shorter than Salazar, and it let me rest my cheek on his collarbone, and just softly inhale his warm woodsy scent, laced with a note of citrus. He even smelled comforting, like cuddling into a pillow with a heavy blanket and just dozing with nothing to be worried about.

"Guillermo?" I asked, not opening my eyes.

"Hm?"

I sighed. "Why couldn't I fall in love with you?"

Lesaro chuckled, loosening his embrace to pull back slightly. I let go and lifted my head, looking up at him with a much lighter smiler than before.

"Because you are what Armando needs. And I am too old for you."

"That holds no water, Guillermo," I told him, though I understood what he meant. "You're as old as he is, you just aren't quite as…" I searched for an appropriate word.

"Foolish?" he offered with a grin.

"High-strung," I said, smirking.

He snorted. "Apt. You are better, yes?"

I looked down at the swathes of fabric covering me from the shoulders down. "Better. On the bright side, at least it's a good color for me. I don't think I can pull off pastels."

And it _was_ a good color, just a horrid cut and an even worse design. Whoever thought this shit was fashionable should be shot.

"Bien." Lesaro stepped around me to reach for the laces at the back. "Let me help you take it off."

I opened my mouth automatically, but paused for a second before saying, "I could make a dirty comment about that-" I glanced over my shoulder to see him becoming faintly alarmed as he realize the implications of his words, and teased, "But I won't."

There was a long-suffering sigh and I grinned.

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 **So there we are. Ball is in Salazar's court (and he well knows it). Next chapter is gonna be a tricky tightrope for me to write. I would love more than anything for someone to just lock them in a room and have them kiss it out. Alas, Spanish pride and arrogance removes this as a possibility. *sighs* (Someone is welcome to write this as a chapter and I'll just insert it as canon xD)**

 **Until next, my peeps!**


	59. Chapter 59

**First off, I just want to say thank you to everyone for waiting patiently and leaving such lovely words of kindness in my absence. It's been busy lately because I've got a part-time job that's physically taxing and an online class that's mentally draining, and between the two I just haven't been able to write. (** Also, I had baby goats, and while they're freakin' adorbs, they a lotta work when you're having to bottle fed them whiny kids. **)** **A nonnie, I adore you and your reviews ^.^ Also, RosaLove, never change! (I'm sorry I haven't replied. I'm a bad llama...I still reread your reviews at least a dozen times over, though!)**

 **I apologize for how long it's taken me to get this chapter out, and far longer than it should have. I'm sad about that because I had something I wanted to do in the future and now I'm not sure I'll be able to get it out in time, but who knows, I might be able to pull it off! We'll see.**

 **Anyhoo, tl;dr: apologies for the long wait, here's your chapter, enjoy swoony Spaniards!**

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It was very late when I left my cabin. I wanted to keep my usual nighttime walking, but I also didn't want to run into any of the crew from the _Sea Horse_ and cause unnecessary issues.

The deck seemed pretty empty when I peeked out, so I ventured out further, glancing up at the wheel to see Officer Cortez was on duty tonight. He gave me a terse nod but let me pass unhindered.

The sails had been furled, so the only sound in the darkness was the gentle creaking of wood and the lapping of waves against the _Mary's_ sides.

I waved in greeting at Cortez, who nodded back, then strolled down the walkway that lined the railing. Even after almost nightly forays, I still couldn't get over how utterly massive the _Mary_ was. Sure, I'd seen bigger ships, but there was something to her presence that seemed to put those modern creations to shame.

And soon, I would no longer have even the freedom to do this much. What a wonderful realization to cap the end of my day.

Sorrow rose in bitter waves, triggering a soft tune.

" _The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you…_ "

For just a little while, I'd been hopeful. I'd let myself dream.

" _It's strange what desire will make foolish people do…_ "

But now…now I was back to facing reality in a world I didn't understand. A world that was unkind to those that didn't fit.

" _I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you._ "

I would make it through, and maybe one day find answers. And if I didn't make it through….well, there was always an escape somehow.

" _And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you._ "

It was almost cruelly unfair, though, to not even be able to dream. To hope.

" _No, I don't wanna fall in love…with you._ "

I sighed heavily, leaning against the rail as I stared out at the dark sea, moonlight shimmering upon the gentle waves. Despite the ache throbbing in my heart, I could almost be content. My mind had finally drifted into a quiet numbness of gray, thoughts drifting noiselessly in the background.

Tingles shivered over the back of my neck, but I ignored them. I'd thought I only felt them when Salazar was nearby, but they'd come to life a few times when he wasn't around. Just another trick of my stupidly hopeful mind.

 _Besides, if anyone else was out here, I would have heard them. It's not like boots on wood is very stealthy-_

A heavy weight suddenly covered my shoulders, making me jolt upright with a wheezed curse. I whirled around to see a familiar, lithe form walking past me, towering over me where I sat on the deck, pivoting to follow his movements.

We were both silent as Salazar stood next to the rail, his gaze following the same direction mine had moments before.

The overly large coat warmed my skin, making me shiver at the sudden heat as I pulled it tighter, struggling to get the sudden increase of my heart rate under control. I was pretty sure that no matter what I was feeling, I would always accept Salazar's coat if he offered it. Or what he was usually inclined to do, simply drape it over my shoulders and pretend he knew nothing about it.

The gesture made me smile crookedly as I buried my nose in the thick fabric, closing my eyes as I inhaled his scent, my heartbeat already calming just from this alone.

 _He's really here…it's not just my imagination._

Sudden movement made me look up to see Salazar turning to stand tall in front me, looking down at me with a mixed expression of remorse and something else I couldn't discern. His jaw rippled before he said quietly, "I would like to accept your apology and…extend my own."

And with that, reality crashed back in.

I rested my head against one of the beams of the railing, tired and worn from my ugly day, but still unable to resist staring at him with simple appreciation. How was it humanly possible for one man to be so goddamn _handsome_? "Apology accepted, _Capitán_."

He winced, then smoothed a hand over his hair, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Abruptly, he turned to face the fading horizon again, his hands clasped behind his back. "You deserve more of an apology than that."

Dejectedly, I shook my head, even though he couldn't see. "No, I don't. I shot first, and I understand you were only responding accordingly…"

For a moment, neither of us made a sound. Then I saw Salazar's hands tighten.

"How can you be so understanding?"

I tilted my head, confused as to what he was asking.

He suddenly whirled, pinning me with a fierce look. "How are you so understanding, that you can sweep aside hurtful words with a mere explanation? That you can come from the life that you've lived for years, to something that couldn't even measure halfway? To live in a time and accept things that are as unjust and unfair to you as they are, and not go mad?"

I smiled ruefully, wishing for nothing more than to be able to get to my feet and hug him comfortingly. _How had that come about? I thought_ I _was the one who needed comfort._ "Because what choice do I have? It's _your_ world, and now it's mine as well."

Salazar paused, then stepped closer. "Is this why you so easily accepted to wear the dress?"

I stared at him for a long second before asking carefully, "Why are you here?"

We gazed at each other for a spell, letting the silence fill the space between us. He had turned to angle himself more towards the railing, so that I could see his thumb rubbing against his wrist where they were clasped behind his back. I wondered if it was a nervous gesture, or just an idling mannerism.

Unable to take the silence anymore, I lifted my face to peer up at the sky, at the faint flicker of stars. "I've been thinking…about when the _Mary_ docks tomorrow. About what happens after."

Salazar didn't say anything, but I knew he was listening.

I kept my gaze on the stars. "I would like to ask Lady Delagio to help me learn how to be proper. And if your offer still holds, I would like to learn from your friend in Spain as well."

Waves lapped gently against the _Mary's_ sides, the faint cry of gulls flavoring the sounds as they glided far above.

Finally, he inhaled deeply and said, "You have been thinking of much."

I huffed a humorless snort. "You could say that."

Again, I was the one to break the ensuing silence. It seemed that Salazar hadn't come out here to talk. What he needed to do was go away. His presence was very disruptive to my current peace of mind. "I'll learn how to be a lady, learn how to fit in, then I'll learn how to make myself useful."

Even still gazing at the stars, I didn't miss the twitch that followed my words.

I hadn't said it be hurtful, to make a dig about his accusations, but rather to try and ease his worries that I knew still plagued him. I frowned. "That's not…I didn't say that to make it worse-"

" _Por favor_ then, explain," he bit out, whirling to pin me with hard, glittering eyes. "Explain how that comment was supposed to make this _better_."

"I'm _trying_ , you lump, if you'd just shut up and let me finish!" I snapped, growing annoyed as well. I was getting tired of his tetchiness, and I was already worn thin from emotional drain.

Salazar's teeth clicked as he closed his mouth, waiting impatiently.

Inhaling sharply, I marshaled my thoughts together and dropped my gaze, fingers tweaking at the cuff of his coat sleeve.

"I'm trying to make it easier for you. I know that…despite everything, you're still taking care of me, and I'm doing my best to make it less of a bother. I know there's a lot on your plate right now, more so than usual, and I want to do what I can to ease your burden. If that means ad-admitting that you're – _right_ , then…then that's what needs to happen." My throat convulsed as I choked out my explanation. Pain flared along my left forearm, and rubbing it through the thick material didn't help any. I pushed up the sleeve and rubbed the heel of my other hand against the cramp, trying to ease the ache as I searched for more words.

"I have…"

The soft murmur made me look up to see Salazar staring at my arm where I was rubbing it. I wondered if he recognized the symptoms of my anxiety or if he was just using the motion as a focus.

"I have long since learned that I cannot be seen as weak. No matter my position, I cannot be weak. Not with my responsibilities, and not simply to myself but to others as well. Because of this, I have…learned to lash out, sometimes too - cruelly."

I hadn't thought it possible, but it was even more painful to listen to this proud man stumble through his apology.

Clambering to my feet, careful of my thigh and keeping a tight hold of his coat, I walked over to him. "Salazar-"

" _Por favor_ , let me finish-" he rasped, only to fall silent when I reached out and laid my hand on his arm, giving him an earnest look.

"Armando."

Gently, I pressed my forehead against his upper arm, gradually leaning my weight into him. "It's okay."

He laughed bitterly, a sound that tugged on my heart. "Is it? Is it truly? I told you before to never lie to me, Isabeau."

I didn't answer. What could I say?

My arms slid around his waist and I moved to the side, pressing my face into that broad back between his shoulder blades as I hugged him from behind, trying to make it at least a little better if I could.

I held on as a deep sigh blew through his lean frame, and clasped my hands together over his stomach, feeling the firmness of muscle underneath his waistcoat.

His buttons were digging into my wrists and I shifted my hands slightly to alleviate the pinch. "You said it yourself, Armando. I need to learn how to be useful, and less conspicuous, and I can't stay here, aboard the _Mary_."

More of his previous words flickered in my brain and I loosened my grip from around his waist. "I shouldn't – shouldn't even…"

Armando made a choked noise as I pulled away and suddenly a strong hand clamped over one of my wrists, yanking me around until I was in front of him.

I had only a second to regain my balance, opening my mouth to blurt out my confusion, before I was smothered in a hug that was so tight I squeaked in protest.

Armando didn't loosen his grip, simply nuzzled into my hair with a soft exhale, muscles rippling as he pulled me even tighter.

My arms had been caught against his stomach in my surprise. I managed to wiggle them free from the awkward position and slid them around his waist, stretching them up his back along his spine, feeling tension draining from the thick muscles under my hands.

I could barely breathe. My face was tucked against his shoulder and he was bent so that I was enveloped in his embrace. I couldn't move. All I could do was breathe in his spicy scent, feel surrounded by him. I knew from prior experience that I couldn't break free until he was ready to let go, and judging from the slowly relaxing spine under my hands, that was gonna be a while.

I blew out a short huff but didn't object. I'd wanted to comfort him, and if this was what he needed, so be it.

But I refused to take comfort from his embrace in return.

He couldn't keep doing this to me, holding me in his arms one second, then cutting me with cruel words the next. Yes, that clash had been my instigation, I admitted it, if with painful reluctance, but he certainly hadn't made things easy either.

And I couldn't keep doing this until I'd dealt with my thoughts, and Armando had dealt with his business with Lady Delagio. Because I wasn't stupid enough to believe for a second that there was nothing there.

At that cruel reminder to myself, I'd had enough. "Armando, let go. Please."

For a long second, he didn't react. I knew he'd heard me. My face was pressed into his neck from the angle he was squeezing me, but he didn't so much as twitch.

Thinking he might try to pretend I hadn't said anything, I repeated more firmly, "Armando. _Please_ let go."

A shuddering breath rattled the masculine frame plastered against me and that deep baritone rumbled, "No voy a dejar ir." (I'm not letting go)

That had _definitely_ not been a tone of acquiescence. "Armando…"

"Por favor, Isabeau. Por favor." He nuzzled further into my neck with a deep sigh, tension draining from his shoulders.

My neck began to crick and I rolled my eyes in annoyance before adjusting my head, hoping to relieve the pressure. "We can't stay like this. You have to let go eventually."

We both knew I meant my words in more ways than one. Neither of us could go on like this, and he would have to let me go in order to return to his campaign.

The Armando Salazar I'd known from a few weeks ago would have slowly stepped back from the hug at this point. Reluctantly, perhaps, but he would have realized that it was what needed to happen.

The current Armando, however, gave a mulish grunt and stepped backwards, dragging me along with him. I tried to draw back in protest, but he simply ignored my efforts and sat down on a crate half-hidden in the shadows.

To my surprise, he pulled me downwards at an angle, catching me off guard with the unexpected movement, and tumbled me into his lap across muscular thighs.

"What-" I broke off when he wrapped his arms around me again, completely enveloping me as he rested his temple on my collarbone, tucking his face into my neck.

"Por favor, give me this moment. That is all I ask. Just this moment."

How could I resist that whispered request? I couldn't, that's how.

Giving in to the screaming urges in my chest, I slid my outside arm around his neck and ran soft fingers over his hair with the other, careful not to dislodge his queue. "This is not what you're supposed to be doing, Armando."

A huffed snort tickling across my chest was my only answer.

I sighed and shook my head with a soft smile, leaning to rest my cheek on his head as I continued to pet him. It was a very intimate position, sitting in Armando's lap and stroking his hair. It took everything I had not to pull out the ribbon keeping it in its neat bun and rake my fingers through his silky hair.

As if he'd read my mind, he let go with one hand to reach up and yank the ribbon out of his hair with a quick jerk, sending soft waves flowing over his shoulders before resuming his tight hold.

His permission given, I carded my fingers through the mahogany mane, humming quietly as I stroked.

Slowly, so slowly I didn't even notice it at first, Armando began to loosen his grip, then slid one hand to my waist. When he began to idly stroke my side with one thumb, I twitched and flexed away from his hand, into his chest.

"Ticklish?" he whispered, then added more pressure to his strokes.

There were so many things that I could say, that I _needed_ to say, to interrupt this. It wasn't fair to either of us to keep doing whatever it was we were doing, but I just couldn't. I couldn't do that to Armando, to kick him while he was vulnerable.

And he _was_ vulnerable. I could feel it in the relaxed muscles under my palm, the soft puffs of breath against my skin, the gentle strokes of his thumb.

It would have been just as cutting as what I'd said to him about being no better than a pirate.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to refuse him what little comfort he afforded himself, but I didn't want to encourage him into anything that neither one of us were healed enough for.

"You are overthinking." There was a faint smile in his voice as he rubbed his other thumb over my ribs.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. My thoughts were so loud he could probably hear them spinning in circles. "Yeah…yeah, I'm overthinking."

Silence filled the night. There was a tightness to it, preventing a comfortable atmosphere, but it was fairly mild for the situation.

Finally, Armando murmured, "I can feel your tension." As if to try and ease it, he smoothed his palm down my side to rest it over my hip.

I wasn't ready to deal that level of confrontation yet. And we both had a lot of things we were still dancing around before I could let myself relax again. Technically speaking, I shouldn't have even been in his embrace. "You need to let me up."

"No. Stay. Stay and watch the sunrise with me."

 _Sunrise?_ I lifted my head and sure enough, the sky was lightening to a soft purple.

Oh. No wonder my eyes were burning like I'd doused them with bleach.

 _Wait a minute._

I leaned back slightly, grasping both sides of Armando's face and forcing him to lift his head.

He did so reluctantly, chocolate gaze meeting mine. I scanned over his appearance and saw that several long, sleepless nights had put a visible strain on his face. The shadows under his eyes seemed entirely too familiar, exhaustion lining his features.

He looked as worn as I was. Was he suffering as well? Not from the same reasons…

Wincing sympathetically, I stroked my fingers over his sideburns. "You look how I feel, big guy."

He scoffed and closed his eyes, muttering something in Spanish under his breath as he leaned into my hands.

Exasperated, I rolled my eyes, then slid my arms around his neck, hugging him again, not holding back this time.

There was only the briefest pause before Armando wrapped his arms around me tight, pressing me to him as close as he could.

We stayed like that for a minute, each comforting the other, before he said quietly, "You can't keep my coat."

I laughed at the unexpected remark. "No, you gave it to me, it's mine now. That's how this works."

In response, he narrowed his eyes just before he slipped his hands free and snaked them under his coat, tickling lithe fingers over my ribs.

I squeaked and giggled, trying to squirm away. "No! No, you can't have it back. Mine!"

Armando growled playfully, and moved to slide the coat off my shoulders. I growled back and twisted to straddle his thighs, yanking the coat closed over my chest as I mock-glared at him. "Mine. Paws off."

Expression considerably lighter than before, he hummed thoughtfully for a moment, then offered, "My coat for another hug."

I tossed my head indignantly. "That unfairly benefits you. What do I get out of it?"

The wide smile that tilted his mouth crookedly would have made me have to sit down if I wasn't already straddling his lap. As it was, I felt a rush of heat clench between my legs and blushed in response.

His smile widened as he clasped my waist, his thumbs rubbing in languid circles into my hips. "What is it you think you want, _señorita_?"

The mood may have been playful, but his question was serious.

There were so many answers I could have given him, so many things I could ask for, but in the end, I simply smiled warmly and slid his coat off my shoulders, tucking it neatly in half as I set it in the little bit of space between us. "I have everything I want."

A half of a white lie, there were things I still wanted, but I had everything that I _needed_. And that was what was most important.

Armando's expression cleared and he stared at me for a long time, studying my face as his thumbs continued to rub circles in my skin.

My brain chose that moment to intrude, along with a good dose of common sense, and I cleared my throat with only faint awkwardness. "Anyway, I need at least some sleep, so I'll just-"

The problem, I quickly discovered, with sitting on a man's lap with his hands on your hips is that if he decided to prevent you from moving, it was all too easy for him to hold you in place.

Which is how I found myself scrunching my nose in halfhearted irritation when Armando stubbornly refused to let me move.

He tilted his head, his expression soft but guarded. "You won't stay? The sunrise, _señorita_. It is so rare that you see them."

There was an undercurrent to his words, a meaning I couldn't catch, but for whatever reason, he didn't want me to leave. And if I was being truthful…I didn't want to leave either.

"Fine. But I'm not sitting your lap. Let me up."

One corner of his mouth kicked up into a lopsided smile, and he loosened his grip so that I could slide off the muscular thighs that felt sinfully good between my legs.

"If you are certain, _señorita_ ," he purred, deliberately dropping his voice an octave.

I shot him a look, even as I shivered at the sound of that delicious baritone. "Behave. Or I'll leave."

He subsided, but not before making sure that the only place I could sit was pressed right up against him. He waited until I was comfortable, then draped his coat back over my shoulders before tucking me into his side.

I shook my head slightly, unable to resist both his playfulness and my own urges screaming at me to take advantage of whatever I could. But it felt nice, wearing his coat, absorbing his warmth and the feel of his solid body pressed against my left side. His arm was braced behind me, his hand at propping his weight at my right hip, making it feel as if he was wrapped around me without actually holding me.

It felt _very_ nice, a moment I could fall in love with.

A moment to just relax and enjoy, and not think about the difficulties that would come afterwards.

The sky slowly brightened, shade by shade. It was beautiful, the _Mary's_ sails cast in shadows by the light, making it a dark backdrop to the beautiful colors.

The only thing I heard was the soft hush of waves, the quiet flapping of sails, and the faint chatter of crew that were starting to rise. I couldn't even hear the breathing of the man sitting next to me, he was so quiet.

In the silence, I began to wonder.

What must it be like, to be unable to relax, to hide away from the world, to not be able to say fuck it and sleep in for once? To be constantly the pillar of strength for hundreds of people, to have all the answers, to always uphold an image, to never be truly yourself?

But maybe that's who Armando was, at his core. I'd seen how driven he was, how focused and determined, how formidable his personality could be. Truthfully, I didn't know if anyone else could come close to have achieved as much as he had, but what was he like in the quieter moments, when he let all that rigidity fall away?

I'd caught glimpses of it, and it unfairly made me hunger for more, even as I knew I shouldn't, that I _couldn't_.

It was enough to make me cry, again, at how cruel the universe could be. I would move onwards, I knew this, but I had taken blow after blow in my former life, then the most staggering one of all when I'd been displaced from my home, only to have my knees swept out from underneath me yet again, time after time.

Something soft brushed over my forehead in a warm caress and I lifted my head, blinking blearily as I slowly realized I'd leaned to rest my head on Armando's shoulder, well on my way to falling asleep.

"Come, Isabeau. I will escort you to your cabin," his deep voice murmured even as his arm slowly slid around my waist to nudge me upright.

I yawned, groaning in protest and burying my face in his shoulder. I didn't want to leave, wanted to just stay here forever.

Stay here with _him_ forever.

Strong arms folded around me, holding me close as he pressed his face into my hair. "I know, but we both must return. Come."

Grudgingly, I slid out of his arms and pushed myself to my feet with a sigh, pulling his coat tightly around me.

Armando stood as well, towering over me by more than a head taller once he'd fully straightened, before holding out his arm for me to take.

Yawning again, the lack of sleep catching up fast, I wrapped both hands around his arm, hugging it to my chest as I let him lead me back to my cabin. Our pace was slow and meandering as he took me along the top walk of the _Mary_ , his steady grip keeping me from tiredly weaving right over the edge and crashing to the deck below.

"Are you going to fall asleep with me as your pillow?"

The teasing amusement in his tone made my lips pull into a smile, but I didn't move from where I was leaning on his shoulder again or open my eyes. "Maybe. You're pretty comfortable, _Capitán_."

His chuckle felt like music to my ears. How had I thought I could ever live without that sound? "Your bed would be more comfortable, I think."

"You sure? Maybe I should compare," I said cheekily, grinning to myself as I added, "Not to mention I think your bed is more comfortable than both."

Armando gave a mock gasp of outrage, which made me giggle. "You would take my _bed_ over me? I am wounded, _señorita_."

I pressed my face into his arm with a smile. "You're nothing of the sort."

He huffed, then slowed to a reluctant stop.

I opened my eyes, knowing we'd reached my cabin, and looked up at him, my eyes taking in his softened features, the lack of tension in his face. "Get at least some sleep, Armando? Please?"

His mouth tilted into a crooked smile, his eyes warming at the sound of his name. "Worried about me, hm?"

Something about the way his eyes glittered triggered the memory of the last time I'd worried about him…and what had happened as a result.

My face heated with embarrassment and I hurried to hide it by pulling off his coat to hand it back. "Thank you…again. For everything."

A large hand suddenly smoothed over my hair, making me freeze in surprise. I raised my head slightly to see him studying my new hairstyle thoughtfully, his fingers lightly raking through it before he lowered his hand. The touch left behind pleasant tingles on my scalp.

"It is not fashionable but it…suits you. Quite well."

Taken aback by the unexpected caress, it took me a second to unglue my tongue to respond. "Thank you."

We stood for a moment, simply looking at each other, neither of us wanting to leave and let things return to what they needed to be.

An urge began to build as I stared into deep chocolate eyes, strong and sudden, and for once, I decided to go with it without resistance.

Placing my hand on one broad shoulder, I leaned up on my tiptoes and laid a light kiss on his smooth cheek before settling back on my feet.

"Good night, _Capitán_ ," I said with a shy smile, biting my tongue at his surprised expression before whirling around and darting into the safety of my cabin before my courage faltered.

I leaned back against the door, feeling my lips curved into a stupidly idiotic smile at how much things had changed, once again. This time for the better.

Just before I pushed away from the solid wood, I heard the softest whisper from the other side.

"Sweet dreams, Isabeau."

* * *

 **The song she's singing is "Wicked Game" - Ursine Vulpine ft. Annaca. It is _gorgeous._ I highly recommend you check it out! Soon as I heard it, I knew instantly who it would apply to, especially in these latest chapters.**

 **But _finally_ , they are back on speaking terms. Whew. Sweet mercy, these two just need to get together and get it out of their system before someone spontaneously combusts. And don't worry. While we are indeed slowly but surely drawing closer to the end of this roller coaster, they will be together by the end of it. And by together, I mean... *wiggles eyebrows***


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